57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/17/13

Once Upon a Time: So the Darling boys grew old enough to be in their twenties before Peter Pan kept them in a un-aging state, but Wendy looks exactly the same she did the last time we saw her. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: Most shows have a point of view character, someone who speaks for the viewers, usually a newbie to the team, who asks the questions that the people watching would want to know. I am beginning to think Senator Lockhart is such the character on Homeland. He is the new guy to the CIA and looks around and asks, what the frack is wrong with you people and they ends the episode locked in the dark. Yep, that pretty much sums up the viewing experience of this season on Homeland.

The Walking Dead: Just like Brody on Homeland, it was only a matter of time before The Governor showed up. Brody was given pretty much a whole episode, three into the season (and has not been seen since) whereas The Governor only got a cameo at the end of episode five. Last week I predicted he would run into Carol, but it looks like he did not travel that far away from the prison. So that puts him in play for feeding the zombies rats that we saw early in the season.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: Well that was the least sexy sex scene ever. At least between two relatively attractive people. I never thought anything involving Lizzy Caplan would be possible. I do wonder who Masters will impregnate first, his wife or his assistant. I am a little surmised the talk of contraception has yet to come up in the research. Did they even have readily available contraception back in the fifties?

The Voice: It is hard to quit the show cold turkey because I need something to watch between 2 Broke Girls and the Blacklist and The Goldbergs and Sons of Anarchy so I half watched those hour and a half while flipping around and making pithy comments on Twitter (#VoiceSave Holly Henry). I was a little interested to how the Instant Save turned out hoping it failed miserably. And it kind of did. After making my pithy comment I decided to scroll the hashtag results and saw about 80-90% of them for Jonny, Blake even pointed this out when Carson asked him who he thought America would save. Even the retweet of The Voice’s official tweets were the most for Jonny (followed by Josh with Kat in the hole). Yet the first person eliminated with the lowest amount of tweets was Jonny. Huh? My first thought was there must have been a lot of tweeters who misspelled his name (most people would naturally want to put an “h” in it like Johnny Cash) but supposedle the show allows five different misspellings (people like Jonny, Jaquie, and Tessann need such a thing but it is funny to see the five ways you are allowed to misspell Ray). This just does not pass the sniff test. Unfortunately the Instant Save will not be going anywhere, at least no time soon because the ratings were way up from last week’s results show which was a series low for the show and even matched last week’s Tuesday performance show. Hopefully the novelty wears off and ratings drop again like I thought would when you pull a stunt that alienates half the country and it is scrapped for next season. But really all I want next season is better talent than what makes up this top ten.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

The Blacklist: I thought the promo monkeys said there was going to be a big reveal this week? Did I miss it? All I saw was more speculation that Red is really Lizzie’s father but no real confirmation.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Yep, Simmons is quickly becoming the most entertaining character by a long mile on the show. Her awkward encounter with Agent Sitwell was hilarious.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Oh Tara, I told you that you should have turned on the club while you were in jail instead of concocting this elaborate plan that fell like a house of cards once you recruited a junkie and friend of the club. But now that she is at her breaking point, anything is possible with her. Speaking of anything is possible; Jax really tangled a web trying to get out of guns. Is he really going to turn rat and sell out both the Irish and the Koreans?
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: I like when they start doubling up Tribal Councils post merge, especially when the votes are as obvious as Vytas and Tina. I also liked Vystas just throwing bombs all over Tribal on his way out. He called out Monica, pointed out the chicks could easily take over the game. I am surprised more people do not do it when they know their number is up. And though I am glad they retired the gross eating challenge seasons ago, I am glad they brought it back for Gervase to have to partake in it again. And he almost won this time. I wonder if he spent the last decade eating strange delicacies for this very moment.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Parenthood: It is weird the election storyline is expanding well past the real world elections. But I wonder if there will be a point where Amber goes to the press without Kristina’s consent. I was kind of assuming that was going to happen this week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/10/13

Once Upon a Time: I was not expecting much from CGI Ursula, but that was really cheesy looking. Only worse was the real Ursula all CGI. And if mermaids can easily transport back and forth between worlds, then why not summon Ariel earlier and ride her back, why mess with the magic beans? The better question is why am I still questioning the massive plot holes on this show.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: So that was Saul’s big master plan: use Carrie to get to the Iranian dude, and then blackmail him into talking to him? Ugg. At least we know why the Iranian dude was creepily watching the kid playing in the yard last episode. Though how easy was it to find his grandson? If the wife was in witness protection, why was the kid not? And what was with the pregnancy tests? I would think that the mental health facility would have run some sort of blood test to see if Carrie was pregnant.

Of course the best part of the episode was a shout out to Scooter McGavin’s 9th Green in the episode. At least I am assuming that Majid Javadi holing up off the 9th Green of a golf course was a reference to this site.

The Walking Dead: During the season premiere Rick mentioned he has three questions newbies have to answer before they are allowed to join the chain gang in the prison. We finally learned one of them, “How zombies have you killed?” I wonder if we will learn the other two by the end of the season. Rick did finally make his first decision of the season my exiling Carol for killing the two sick people. She is not dead so there is a good chance we will see her again eventually (it did take a couple seasons to see the guy from the Pilot again). The Governor is still out there somewhere and I do not remember them running into each other last season. I just hope she does not turn out to be the lead in the proposed Walking Dead spin-off.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: So Emily’s big take down this week was… her own home? Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Voice: I am pretty much out on this season after realizing I only watched an hour and a half of the five hours this week and was pretty bored with what I saw. To be honest I was out the moment Holly Henry was inexplicatively booted from the show for dude to butcher Blurred Lines and get booted himself the very next week. The show has a serious problem when Holly’s seven week old version of The Scientist was charting higher on Monday and Tuesday than two songs performed that day by Grey and Amber Nicole. Now with Preston Pohl, who got stuck with the worst song selection this week, also given the boot, the two biggest fan favorites are gone before even the top ten despite being the only two whose audition songs made the top twenty-five this season (or even the top eighty for that matter).

And just when you thought The Voice could not get any worse than letting the two early favorites fall by the waste side, next week they are introducing the Instant Save next week. For those that have not heard yet, starting next week (and will continue through the top 6 week) they will announce a bottom three and then for the next five minutes, Twitter users will be able to vote which singer to save. First off, way to alienate half your audience. Anyone who lives on the west coast will either have sit though spoilers to see if their favorites are in the bottom three just to vote for them, or watch when it is on and not be able to participate.

Most importantly, this will undoubtably backfire. As is, voters have thirteen hours from the end of the show to vote, be it the phone, the internet via nbc.com, or downloading songs on iTunes. Now you are going to give the reigns to a very small minority of Twitter users, mostly on the east coast only five minutes to decide. This is just ripe for manipulation. Even though Vote for the Worst closed up shop earlier this year, some other prankster, or just run of the mill spammers, could easily manipulate things so undeserving people make it further than they should. And how is the show going to know with just a five minute vote window? The person who gets the least amount of votes next week could easily make it to the final four/five by Twitter alone. And let face it, the cutest boy is likely to get the Instant Save every week. Hopefully the show quietly eliminates the Instant Save before it begins because it will ruin the show as much as dumping talent a lot sooner than it should (the Instant Save will probably end up saving people who do not deserve it). If not, I highly recommend instead of saving someone in the bottom three, Tweet the show a contestant that should not have been eliminated in the first place instead (I will be tweeting Holly Henry).

Unfortunately it is too late to make any suggestion for next season because I believe the Blind Auditions (and maybe even the Battle and Knockout Rounds) have already been taped. They even start casting for season seven next month. But most importantly for the upcoming casting, they need to find better singer. Enough with the amateur hour, leave those contestants for the crappy Fox singing show. It is time to start recruiting professionals again. Seriously, have they run out of Warped Tout chicks and Alicia Keys backup singers (this season lacked both for the first time)? This is the second straight season where I did not know any of the singers who audition. They need to go back to casting semi to full professional singers and stop it with all the teenagers who are not ready for primetime. For every Caroline Pennell and Danielle Bradbery, there are about twenty teenagers who do not even get a chair to turn around or make a quick exit during the Battle Round (and are montage most of the time).

I do make these suggestions because it does seem like the show does take my suggestions to heart. The last time I may suggestions on how to make the show better, I suggested that they needed to open their songbook because they had been recycling way too many song from previous season (sometimes even in the same season, last season saw two versions of Teenage Dream and Feelin’ Good) and this week only saw two recycled songs. And when ranting against repeat songs, I mentioned that I was surprised Seven Nation Army was performed on three straight season when I thought The White Stripes song most likely to become a standard would be We’re Going to Be Friends and low and behold Caroline Pennell performed the latter this week. Still even with the new songs, nothing I saw this week was as good as the latest video Holly Henry posted this week of her singing Daughter’s Youth.


The Blacklist: Between the end with Red reminiscing about his daughter and the promo for next week, it is almost guaranteed that Lizzie will turn out to be his daughter. Hopefully they come out and say it next week because everyone guessed it during the first trailer they released for the show. There are already on episode six, it is already been dragged on too long already, hopefully we get a definitive answer next week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: The problems wit procedurals is sometimes it is easy to figure out who the killer is even in the first act. The biggest indicator is whenever a recognizable guest star is in the episode. And then there are cases like this week when the cop being a total jerk early in the episode which led me to think he was the actual killer. Despite a few red herrings, fifty minute later I was right.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: When ABC announced Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I was assuming that the Item 47 which was on The Avengers DVD was essentially the Pilot. Unfortunately Lizzy Caplan got herself cast in Masters of sex making her unavailable for this show (okay, it is not that unfortunately because I would much rather have Caplan on a show called Masters of Sex). Instead they replaced Caplan with a token hot chick with nominal acting skill. (Caplan has said she could still pop up on the show but since Masters of Sex has already been renewed for a second season, it probably will not be for a lengthy amount of episodes.) Titus Welliver, who was also in the Item 47, made his first appearance on the show. I wonder if he will be showing up more in the future with his own team which may or may not include Caplan.

As I mentioned earlier, the people they did cast on the show are not the best actors in the world. But I may have been wrong about Fitz because she did a very good job in this episode (or was it Simmons, I still not sure which one is which). I only liked her up to this point because when I squint, she looks exactly like Keira Knightley. Maybe they should give more for her to do and less to the token hot chick.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I knew Tara’s plan would crumble quickly, but I am surprised that Jax figured it out that quickly. I have no idea how this would turn out. If I were Tara, I would go to the DA and give her the club in exchange for immunity from her current case and witness protection for her and her kids. But then again the DA may even reject that if Jax does in fact deliver the Irish to her. Though my favorite part of the episode was when the lady cop asked where the DA’s wig went, the black cop spouted some urban slang and after he walked away, simply said, “I did not understand a word of that.” It may have been a little sitcom-y, but I enjoyed what essentially a throw away line
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Just when you thought that Ciera just making the merge was amazing, the fate of this season rested in her hands; either stick with her stag alliance even though he mother came back in the game or join a couples alliance. Granted it turned out the fate was not entirely in her hands as Tina and Aras stupidly thought Gervise and Monica would be okay being in an alliance with two couples. But the craziness could continue because Ciera has a legitimate shot at actually winning this season as long as her mother does not screw things up.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Parenthood: It is getting to be distracting just how much Drew’s booty call looks like a smaller version of Alison Brie. I guess that will be the closest to a an Alison Brie fix I can get until next year.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/3/13

Homeland: Did the writers not think we would initially think the dude crossing the border at the start of the episode was the Iranian dude come to meet Carrie? It seems like they did not even try to make us think otherwise aside from the creepy scene where he watched some chick while indulging in this nation’s finest fast food meal. But the question is if the Iranians made Carrie during her yoga class or not? Saul did not seem very worried. I do hope that now that she is hope, that is the end of Dana’s crazy love affair, but I fear it is not the last we see of the boyfriend. He will probably end up stalking her.

The Walking Dead: So Carol killed and burned the two sick people. I kind of got a feeling it may be her when Tyrone snuck up on her by the water. I figured it would be her or the other black dude. And now she is all alone in a prison full of sick people and Rick. Though still no indication on who was feeding walkers. The rest of the episode felt like too much of a set up. It took them way too long to talk about the veterinary hospital and actually leave for it.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: In maybe the least surprising twist ever, Victoria’s other son tried to kill Conrad. What was surprising is she got Charlotte to confess. Alrighty. Not sure why she would fall on that sword.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: Oh devote Christians. How do you think just lying together would get your pregnant? The sad thing is, I actually believe that were people who did not were unaware of how sex worked. There may even be some still around today.

The Voice: What the frack just happen? I cannot see how even Holly Henry at her worst could be beaten by Nic Hawk at his best. That was the worst decision ever in the history of The Voice, overtaking the time when Cee-Lo inexplicitly picked Erin Martin over The Shields Brothers. Holly had a legitimate chance to win while Nic will be off the show by this time next week. That decision was just befuddling. What made things worse is Adam said he did not Steal Holly because she had not lived up to her Blind Audition, and the very next day picked James who downward trajectory has been much steeper than Holly’s. I am really ready for a reboot of the coaching panel. Then maybe they can bring back some of the singers that got royally screwed over by some bad coaching decisions. I am thinking of doing a list of the 25 Singers that Deserve a Second Chance on The Voice in lieu of a Power Rankings tomorrow. I cannot believe I am unable to buy Holly's version of Creep on iTunes.

To show you just how bad a decision picking Nic was, Genie in a Bottle was his highest charting song so far this season, but it still did chart as high as Holly's Torn which got five seconds of air time. As I write this Sunday morning, Genie in a Bottle is completely off the top 1500 while the seven week old The Scientist is still on the chart. And though we will never know just how well Holly's version of Creep would have done on the iTunes charts, it does say a lot that after her performance, the twenty year old original made it into the iTunes top 200 overall chart, something none of the originals did (aside from Let Her Go which despite the coaches calling obscure, was already in the top 10 prior to the show). Dumping someone who has a legitimate chance to win for someone who will be voted out the first chance America has a stay just was the dumbest idea ever in the history of bad ideas. Maybe it was not a coincidence that ratings tanked Tuesday, a day after Holly was eliminated dropping 0.7 ratings points from Monday and down 0.6 from the week before (what is even worse is this week was two hours compared to one last week and two hours shows do much better in a vacuum because they continue to grow as the night goes on). And despite premiering to its best numbers ever (that were not aided by the Super Bowl), Tuesday's episode was just 0.3 ratings higher than the series low ratings and the lowest rated Knockout Round episode in the three seasons of the Knockout Rounds. Seriously The Voice, how about not knocking out one of the fan favorites otherwise you are going to quckly turn into American Idol. Or worse, The X-Factor.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

The Blacklist: It says something about the writing that it seemed like every other scene I was flipping back and forth between thinking Tom was a traitor and he was being set up by Red. Sure his name was cleared, but those dudes watching still think there is something else going on with him, and I am inclined to believe him.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Not surprisingly Tara’s plan is starting to unravel. Maybe you should not have included a drug addict and a former cop to help you out on your plan. Now the question is just when will Jax catch on to Tara’s plan?
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Oh Hayden, that was a douchebag move, when you say your relationship is bigger than the game, then she asks you to switch with her, you have to. You cannot Jedi mind trick her into not thinking she should switch. This season will be a lot less entertaining without Kat. Then you had the chick alliance get rid of their second straight female in a row. How do you start out with a five to one female to male ratio and then go into the merge three chicks one dude? Kat and Laura B. would have been much more loyal than Vytas who will either go back to his dude alliance or possibly team up with Aras, neither are good scenarios for the female’s game. Then if either Laura’s make it back in the game, they certainly will not want to get back together with you. They may not even get Ciera to flip to their side. These last two votes are probably the dumbest move by any alliance that did not involve throwing a challenge.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Nashville: How everyone just happened to show up at the polo match was a bit comical (what, Avery was hired as a waiter?). But even more entertaining is whenever Juliet is annoyed. It is really amazing just how good Hayden Paintiere is on this show.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Parenthood: If I were Kristina, I would have went hard negative on Bob Little and create an attack ad of him getting out of his van blaring Blurred Line and say he promotes date rape followed by the scary voice-over dude saying, “You know you don’t want Bob Little.” And c’mon Crosby, it is one thing to be forced into buying a minivan, but you at the very least have to put your foot down and make your wife trade in her car, not yours.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/27/13

Once Upon a Time: Wow, these characters are stupid. You do not need Bellfire to crack the star map code: everybody knows the way to leave Neverland is take the second star to the right and go straight on ‘till morning. Now the hard part will be getting your hands on some fairy dust.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: They could have easily had written out the Brody family after last season, and I am sure most viewers hoped for it, but I thought the writers had a real opportunity to look at the effects of the family left behind after learning their father and husband turned out to be a national pariah. Instead they just had Dana start up a crazy love affair with someone who may be a fratricidal murderer. I also figured that Carrie would eventually find her way back to the CIA by being a double agent against whoever the shady lawyer represented, but I would have never guessed that it was the plan from the start by Saul and Carrie.

The Walking Dead: You would think that if people know that everyone is already infected and you are living with old people that can kick it in the middle of the night, you would take more precautions to keep that from happening. Sure it would make for a less interesting show, but if I am living in a prison during a zombie apocalypse I would not be content with a sheet as a door, I would at the very least shut the door while I am sleeping or if there is a shortage of keys at the very least put some sort of noisemaker on the sheet if someone tries to stalk in at night.

We do get two mysteries during the episode, who is feeding the zombies rats at the gates, is it someone nefarious or one of the stupid kids feeling sorry for them? Then who is the person who lit the infected people on fire? Could it be the same person? I am guessing not as it seems the rat person may be a double agent for The Governor why the firestarter is just a concern, overzealous, health freak.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: So who tried to Conrad is going to be an actual mystery complete with a silly hashtag. Alrightly. I did not give much thought to it after it was revealed that the brakes were messed with. So I guess I should guess who did it: Victoria’s other son.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: It may get a little weird seeing Tinkerbell on Once Upon a Time and then an hour later seeing her sans her fairy costume an hour later. But anyway.

The Voice: I am a hug fan of montages, there are plenty of performances I sit through that I wished were montage. Except this season not only was number one on my Power Rankings, Holly Henry, was montage, so number two, Cole Vosbury. I really have a hard time believing that either of their battles was possibly worse than the Kat vs. R. Anthony Battle. What made things worse there were a couple of Battles that featured Steals that would have been montaged. Did anyone really need to sit through Grey vs. Nic even if there was a Steal involved? Blake's Steal of Nic was already the worst use of a Steal when it happened, and looked even worse when three montaged contestants, Holly, Cole, Brandon Chase, all charted higher than Nic.

I do sometime wonder if The Voice even knows who their audience is. Holly was one of only two contestants to make the top 25 on iTunes for their Blind Audition (only one other person made the top 100, and three more made the top 200). And yet everyone who bought her song had to wait a full month from her audition to see she got montaged on the final episode of the Blind Auditions. It says something that the montage segment has the second most views from Battles this week currently on YouTube (and the one video with more views was from Monday which was on the internet a full 24 hours longer) while Holly and Cilla’s After the Battle video of all the Battles, even the ones from the first week and doubling all but one other video. Holly's version of Torn even made the top 100 on the iTunes pop charts, higher than all but four other Battles this season. The Voice has been spending a lot of footage this season on Tessanne Chin, Kat Robichaud, and Matthew Schuler this season, but I am willing to bet Holly, Austin Jenckes, and Preston Pohl will get a lot more votes starting next week.

The unknowing of the audience of the show extends to the coaches when you had multiple awkward situations this week where the people that got stolen actually outsold the winning. In the last two seasons of Steals, that only happened once that I am aware of when Caroline Glaser charted higher than Danielle Bradbery by only a couple spot. Again Will Champlin just barely outsold James Wolpert. But then there is Juhi who charted over 200 spots higher than George Horga Jr.

Speaking of the Juhi vs. George battle, there have been plenty of stupid reasonings as to why a coach picked someone. Blake’s I am going to stick with what I know during his country or bust plan last season being one of the dumbest. But that was overtaken this season by Cee-Lo reason why he picked George, who was so unmemorable that I originally thought his Blind Audition was montage and then he went on to hit the worst note of the season, over “Baby Einstein” Juhi because he knew this was what he was doing while Juhi was also contemplating college. Seriously Cee-Lo, do not give that boy any false hope, pull that band aid off now because music is probably not going to be George’s best option especially if you are just going to dump him in the Knockout Round. That was the second worse decision Cee-Lo has ever made on the show just behind Erin Martin over the Shields Brothers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.


How I Met Your Mother: Does CBS own Indiana Jones stock or something? Two weeks ago The Big Bang Theory focused an entire episode around Raiders of the Lost Ark. Now How I Met Your Mother built their episode around a scene from The Last Crusade. I assume that 2 Broke Girls will spend an episode calling Han Short Round to check off The Temple of Doom. I wonder which CBS sitcom will be stuck doing homage to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Hopefully it was We Are Men and since it was canceled it will never see the light of day. No one needs to be reminded of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Really, that is where they are going to end the episode? Right when Lizzie’s husband shows her his shoe box of goodies? I hate when show like this. The only thing worse is when they do not start the very next episode where they left off and do not explain what happened until the middle or end of the next episode. I am guessing that, as I theorize when Lizzie first discovered it, that the box was planted there by Red (or maybe even those watching them) just to mess with her. If husband really is a double agent, why not bolt town after he realizes he has been made? Or at the very least kill wifey and make it look like an accident, why confront her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: One thing really missing from the show (aside from good acting; at least they got the Token Hot Chick into her underwear this episode) is a long term antagonist. I was happy to see the evil doctor back thinking she may be it. Except she quickly died. Maybe the girl in the flower dress will become that. Unless of course she dies in the next episode she appears in.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have predicted it from the beginning, and we finally got actual visual confirmation, no dream sequences, no speculation, that Allison is actually alive. Now why is Ezra trying to kill her? And how did he get Mona, CeCe, and the rest of The “A” Team to carry out his evil doings? And why don’t these teenage girls ever go to the police when people are trying to harm them? And why doesn’t Hanna wear a corset every episode?

Ravenswood: I actually liked the set up of the show during Pretty Little Liars, but by the time the show premiered, I got bored really quick. It may have been a better idea just to give Caleb a Ravenswood storyline in Pretty Little Liars as opposed to giving him his own show. Or maybe they could have transitioned a little better by having a Liar or two stick around a couple minutes, especially Hanna in that costume. I am one hundred percent pro corset after seeing Hanna in that dress. I am still a little confused with what the show is about. So every time a solder comes home from war in Ravenswood, five teenagers die, and all happen to look exactly like the teenagers who died previously? Huh? After that ending, if it was not for the “next week on” package, I thought Ravenswood might have been a one episode special and not an actual series.

Sons of Anarchy: So that is Tara’s master plan? Fake a pregnancy then try to get Gemma to make you miscarry, and when she does not, panic and do it yourself? Alrighty. Seems a little convoluted and evil genius from a Bond overthinking to me.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Oh Kat, the first time you strategize in two seasons and it fails miserably. I really hope Redemption Island does not have any more puzzles so Kat has a chance of getting back in the game (granted does sorting numbers twenty at a time even quaify as a puzzle?). Either that or Hayden falls on the sword and takes her place.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Nashville: I was hoping that Layla was really going to turn out to be the oh shucks girl they introduced her as because I thought that would be the best foil for Juilette. But apparently she is undermining. I did not even realize what she did to Scarlett until Will called her out for it. If anything I thought Layla was taking pot shots at Danielle Bradbury, the most recent winner of The Voice.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: Wonderland: Anastasia turning out to be the Red Queen was one of the easiest "plot twists" to spot ever. I saw thatcoming as soon as they showed just part of her back in bed. But I kind of want to see a show where Anastasia turns into the Red Queen, that would be a much more interesting show than the one they made.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time in Wonderland on iTunes.

Parenthood: Let’s be honest, the beginning of this season has been mostly a bore. It did pick up a bit this week as Kristina’s conversation with Hank and drunk Joel were entertaining. But I do wonder if the dip in quality this season is linked to Camille’s new cat face which is really distracking. Seriously old people, just age gracefully, it is much better to look old than look like an alien.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/20/13

Once Upon a Time: That was a weird scene with Mulan and Sleeping Beauty. Was Mulan coming back to tell Sleeping Beauty she loves her? That was just a weird scene to have between two minor characters on the show especially when one of them has a boyfriend.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: Since he was in the season trailer, it was only a matter of time before Brody showed up. But did they really need to devote the whole first thirty minutes and about eighty percent of the whole episode to him? And I missed why the Guatemalans are helping him. They are not Muslim so it is not for religious fanaticism. They said it was for some sort of “favor” so it has to be one big favor if they are going to pass on the bounty on his head to protect him.

The Walking Dead: Poor Beaver Cassidy Casablancas, he just has a hard times around roofs. The show has come up with some creative zombie scenes, but raining zombies has to be near the top. Cassidy was not the only familiar face to pop up in the premiere, there was the chick from Rome, the dude from The Waterboy, and I am pretty sure that was the best friend from Everybody Hates Chris. Unfortunately only one made it out of the premiere alive. But I would not be too surprised if any of them quite literally come back to bite the group in the behind.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: I was suspicious last week when Aiden showed up last week eager to help Victoria bring down Emily yet did not reveal the most damning secret about her, so it was not much of a surprise that it turned out that Aiden was planted there by Emily to stir things up.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Voice: When Nic Hawk got stolen, I thought to myself, wow that is the least deserving Steal ever. Fast forward an hour later and I am saying the same thing about Anthony Paul. And if it is like last two seasons where they front load the more noteworthy steals in the first week, it may not be the last time I say that. There is also an enthusiasm gap for the Steals this season. If you think back to the last two seasons, coaches were breaking their buttons trying to steal Amanda Brown, Sasha Allen, and Caroline Glaser, but this season the coaches are waiting for contestants to say their goodbyes to push their buttons.

There also seems to be an increase of co-ed battles this season. It seemed in the past there may only be one per team if the genders were unequal. If my eyes were right whole spotting them in the previews, all but two of Blake’s battles are co-ed and half of Cee-Lo’s are too. I bring this up because of the first six co-ed battles this week (including montages); the fairer sex won the first five with only Ray Boudreaux prevailing for the guys. The best of the bunch was Caroline Pennell vs. Anthony Paul, though it is not a good sign when the best performance of the week revolves around a Justin Bieber song.

You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.


The Blacklist: Did the show really just completely rip-off Breaking Bad? And just how does one explain creepy chemical scars all over your body to one’s wife? Um… I am asking for a friend.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: I cannot confirm nor deny I watched scrambled porn back in the day, but I will admit I would occasionally watch WWF pay per views.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I do not know why, but I really enjoyed that last scene with Jax making the cops apologize to all the Sons. What I did not like was the return Boydette Crowder. Seeing her on screen just makes my head hurt. It was also weird that the district attorney telling the mirror she was going “hood” which only turned out to be her taking off her wig to show her braids. Alrighty.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Wow, the Loved Ones actually won something. Way to slide down a giant ramp and throw a ring on one of four pegs. That challenge was extremely lame. Unfortunately we have not gotten much of Kat this season, but her closing her hoodie was the best part of the episode.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Nashville: When Rayna said she was dropping out of of Juliette’s tour my first thought was I hope her label makes Juliette take Layla out on the road with her. Thankfully that seemed to be the case. These two on the road together should be more entertaining than when Juliette and Rayna shared the bill.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/13/13

Once Upon a Time: That is the second time in as many episodes where someone who lived in the real world told someone stuck in fairytale land about how they are depicted in pop culture. At least they pointed out how absurd it is to have cast an Abercrombie model as Captain Hook when everyone knows him as an old dude with a bad perm. Neverland expands next week with the inclusion of Tinkerbell (those are some heavy wings to fill after Julia Roberts and Keira Knightley) which begs the question when will the Indians show up?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: Now there is the Carrie that was severely missing last season: off her meds and being driven crazy by her job. The crazier Carrie gets, the more entertaining the show is. At the end of season one I pondered how they would possibly let Carrie back into the CIA, but after having her committed, I am not sure what would be less likely, that the CIA would take her back after her escapade in the loony bin or if Carrie would be willing to go back after completely throwing her under the bus complete with an involuntary stay in a mental health facility. Granted I am sure they will be brought back together some how to track down Brody who was thankfully completely absent this week.

Revenge: If Aiden really wanted revenge on Emily, why not tell Victoria that she is really David Clarke’s daughter? That seems like the quickest way to bringer down, blow her cover. But we did get the first takedown of the season and I really cannot remember the last time she pulled out the red Sharpie. It created an interesting conundrum of whether to take down someone who clearly has repented.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: So who told Beau Bridges that the study moved to, um, copulation? If Dr. Haas did not do it like he says (not that I believe him) that would only leave the two, um copulating. Neither of which I would assume would admit to such a thing especially to their boss. But it is becoming pretty clear that Betty the prostitute is quickly becoming the break out star of the show, she always has a funny comment whenever she opens her mouth. I am sure there is a hooker joke in there somewhere, but I will just leave it be.

The Voice: Forget Kaley Cuoco, holy Neil McDonough sighting! That should squash the conspiracy theories that producers told the coaches to turn for Briana just because she had a famous sister (not to mention the son of the guy who brought Tijano music to America failed to turn a chair). And the dude was also the son of The Commodores drummer. Who knew the Commodores had a white drummer?

I wonder if the “Best of the Blind Audition” were just that or a preview of whom we can expect in the Live Shows. I would actually live with the twelve singers featured if that were the case although I was a bit surprised that Josh Logan and Nic Hawk were featured. I guess Christina does not have much else to spotlight, but it is hard to think Nic can make it two rounds with all the ringers currently on Adam's team. It does seem like there will be five singers per team this season because the show finally took my advice to add at least one Steal to the Knockout Rounds (last season would have been much more palatable if Ryan Innes, Midas Whale, Mary Miranda, and Luke Edgemon). Though I have a feeling most of the coaches will just end up stealing someone they just dumped in the Battle Rounds. My post-Battle Rounds Power Rankings are coming tomorrow and looking at the talent as a whole, this season may not be pretty. There really is only one person worth rooting for.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

The Blacklist: It is nice to see that Lizzie decide to look into her fiancée’s gun, so what exactly has that gun been used for to get it redacted by Homeland Security? And who was the dude with the apple? I am a little apprehensive that the questions are piling up without any answers. Red’s reasoning to why he picked Lizzie was a little muddling and does not quell any theories that he is really her father and really just stoked those flames.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: Congratulation for those that guessed Kate would be back with the NYPD by the fourth episode (assuming she is welcomed back, but there will be no show if she is not; sorry dude who replaced her who’s name I did not bother to learn), I had it happening in this episode. Oh well. And if you are going to do a Saved by the Bell rip off, why not just get Screech and A.C. Slater to reprise their roles? I cannot image they are busy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It is becoming pretty clear what this show is missing, aside from the obvious better actors (can someone please show the token hot chick how to tell a joke), it really needs a Big Bad to battle. I am not sure if Joss Whedon created the idea of a Big Bad, but he certainly perfected it. I wonder if the scientist that Coulsen scarified will become one. He did look like the Silver Surfer when he reached out of the Gravitonium ball. Although I am not sure if a television show has a big enough to do the Silver Surfer (or something like it) very often.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I have come to expect disturbing scenes on the show, and this one probably does not make the top ten most disturbing scenes in the show’s history, but the guard forcing Clay and Gemma to have sex in front of them was pretty disturbing. I put the over / under on number of episodes until somebody actually does kill those guards at three. I would have put it at one but they may have more pressing matters after their clubhouse went boom.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Wow. Calab had to have one of the ballsiest moves in Tribal Council history, definitely the ballsiest that did not involve an Immunity Idol. Dude just called his shot like Babe Ruth, obviously the girls quickly jumped on board and eventually Vytas (and almost Hayden) joined him to get rid of Not-Dante Culpepper. And it was the right move. Not-Dante’s reasoning to get rid of John was because his loved one was not on a tribe and then outright said at Tribal that it would be wise to vote out someone who is unattached in the game. At that point you have to turn on Not-Dante before he turns on you. And he had to do it right there while Ciera gave him the numbers, it would have been harder to after she was gone, even harder had Brad turned on him at that Tribal which Caleb could not be completely sure was the case. And Ciera still being in the game is amazing. She is the very reason her tribe lost three of their four challenges, two of which they had a sizeable lead in.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Ironside: There is nothing more awesomely cheesy than when detectives on cop shows have an epiphany almost completely out of nowhere. Ironside may have actually had the most absurd epiphany ever when his jump off mentioned Britney Spears which made him think of some missing girl from a decade ago in a Mandy Moore Christina Aguilera that looked like a witness who fled a crime scene. Wow. That is a humongous leap for a dude in a wheelchair. The show may only air one or two more episodes, but I am going to enjoy all of them. Hopefully there is more Casey Cartwright shoved dudes faces into pasta.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Ironside on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: How dare Amy besmirch the good name of Indiana Jones? I never cared for her inclusion on the show and now I am actively hating her.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: Wow there were some glaring plot holes from the start that were even bigger than the rabbit’s portal. Since the Knave started out in Storybrooke, that means this Wonderland should adhere to the same rules. That means Wonderland should have been frozen in the time between Emma being born and until she showed up in Storybrooke which was about thirty years. Yet somehow young Alice traveled Wonderland sometime in the nineties and then again recently as a teenager. And wasn’t it already established that Regina’s mother was the Red Queen? And now with no explanation she is a hot young blond with an accent (I just brought up the whole Captain Hook / Abercrombie model thing). No wonder why ABC put the show on during its death slot.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time in Wonderland on iTunes.

Previewing Homeland 3.x

After a stellar first season, Homeland took a step back last season when the writers thought that the Carrie / Brody relationship was something the viewers wanted to see more of (and the less we talk about the Dana vehicular homicide storyline, the better). But the second season did end with a bang. Quite literally when a bomb exploded outside the CIA killing Director of the Counterterrorism David Estes and 218 others. Since it was his car, Brody had to go on the run and his leaked suicide confession he made when he was going to kill the vice-president makes it even harder to clear his name.

Season three fifty-eight days after the worst attack on American soil since 9/11 and Saul has taken over Estes’ job and is ready to go Munich on those that helped in the bombing with Peter Quinn playing the role of Eric Bana. One major snag is they still have not been able to find Brody, the face of the attack. Brody is so hard to find, he does not even show up in the first to episodes (he is in the season trailer so he will unfortunately show up at some point). Quinn's boss, F. Murray Abraham also seems to have an extended role this season but it is a little unclear if he is playing a little angel on Saul's shoulder or a little devil.

That is not to say the Brody clan is completely absent from the premiere. Dana has been given a much more interesting storyline than the other one that will not be spoken about. Needless to say life has not gone well these three months since learning their father is a terrorist and Dana is taking it the hardest and we first find her in group therapy. Chris Brody, ever so oblivious does not even seem to notice his father is even gone, but then again it is hard to get a read on him on just three lines of dialogue (granted that is two more than last season). At any rate, the aftermath of the Brody family is probably much more interesting than watching Brody run from the law which is probably why that started the season with them rather than him.

Despite all the other characters on the show, Homeland remains to be about Carrie Mathison. Thankfully without Brody around, there is much less to roll your eyes about this season. Best of all is that she is off her meds and seeking “alternative treatments” which are not having the best effects so far which may not be good for her long-term employment but makes for great television. There is even a return of a crazy wall map in her house. And it would not be Homeland without a massive plot twist and the one at the end of episode one is quite a dozy and sets up what looks to be a return to form after a sophomore slump. Of course that may all change when Brody finally makes an appearance this season.

Homeland airs Sundays at 9:00 on Showtime.

Best of the Week: 8/10/13

Quote of the Week: Entonces sólo eres un asesino en serie si te gusta. (Fausto Galvan, The Bridge)

Song of the Week: Get Lucky – Daft Punk featuring Pharrell Williams (The Colbert Report)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Do Not Piss Off Stephan Colbert: Stephan Colbert has been hyping a Daft Punk appearance for a while now which was a pretty big deal considering the robot duo does not do much television. They have not done anything since releasing their last album in May. But Tuesday came and went and no Daft Punk. The reason was not some canned excuses like illness and Stephan was more than willing to tell everyone the real reason Daft Punk did not show up: they were already booked exclusively to make a surprise appearance on the Video Music Awards sometime in September on VH1 hosted by Chris Brown (at least according to Colbert). So, surprise.

Sure the controversy does not quite pass the smell test considering Viacom owns both Comedy Central and MTV and it took an entire month to notice the conflict of interest. Not to mention Colbert says he did not learn of Daft Punk’s cancellation until Monday but had enough time to book Robin Thicke, who has that other massive summer hit, to replace Daft Punk (oh yeah, and it turns out he taped that segment last week) and create a video featuring Hugh Laurie, Jeff Bridges, Jimmy Fallon, the cast of Breaking Bad and America’s Got Talent, Jon Stewart, Matt Damon, and Henry Kissinger. But hey, Daft Punk is essentially confirmed the VMA’s which means there will be at least one reason to watch it. That is one more reason that last year’s show.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Asylum" Perception, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: The Wrong Direction EP – Passenger (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Paracosm - Washed Out

New DVD Release of the Week: Emperor

Video of the Week: We are seven week out until the third season premiere of Homeland and the series premiere Masters of Sex and Showtime recently released full trailers for both. Not that surprisingly the Homeland trailer features bombings, congressional hearings (they blew up the CIA last season all), a crazy wall map, and Brody sheering his signature ginger hair (although the only people that will not recognize him are the same people who do not recognize Superman when he is wearing glasses). And as I predicted way back in the first season, it looks like Dana may finally be converting to her father’s religion. But also a few shockers most notably Carrie in a hospital gown and handcuffs. Uh oh. And Dana texting seems like a creepy storyline. But then again it cannot be worse than the hit and run storyline. Feel free to watch the trailer on a loop for the next seven weeks, I probably will.


Showtime also released the first full trailer for Masters of Sex, but to be honest, they already had me at Lizzy Caplan starring in a show called Masters of Sex.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Franklin and Bash, Wednesday at 9:00 on TNT: Another TNT shut up for the summer next week and Franklin & Bash will be going out with a bang as the promo monkeys promise a guest star so big they cannot tell you who it is. Um, I hate to break it to you promo monkeys, but anyone who watched last week already realize that it is Rob Lowe. Pinder has been stalking him all season and even popped up at the end of the last scene, just seconds before you hyped a guest star so big you cannot tell us who it is. I really hate promo monkeys.

Got Me Feeling Like Brody in Homeland

After their Watch the Throne album, both Kanye West and Jay-Z took unconventional routes to roll out their next solo albums. In lieu of a proper music video, West projected trailers on the side of building across the country guerilla style. Jay-Z on the other hand went the corporate route announcing his album in a four minute commercial during the NBC Finals, and just days before the release of Yeezus, of another religious inspired titled Magna Carta... Holy Grai, sponsored by a Smartphone who would give away a million downloads via an app. And instead of a single or music video, Jay-Z just released the lyrics sheet for multiple tracks which saw Jay bite not one, but two much beloved 1991 alt-rock tracks Smells Like Teen Spirit and Losing My Religion.

The anticipation was immediate because of that ad which featured Jay hanging out with producers Rick Rubin, Pharrell, Timbaland, and Swizz Beats who helmed some of Jay’s best tracks. In a later interview, Rubin admitted he had no involvement in the new album, Jay just brought him in for the documentary. As it turns out pretty much the whole album was produced by Timbaland with his hands on seventy percent of the album while Pharrell and contributed on two songs and Swizz only popped up once. So all that anticipation went out the door before the album dropped unless you had the app and would be getting an A-List album for free or if you wanted to hear just how Jay ruined the Nirvana and R.E.M. songs.

You will not have to wait to hear just how Jay-Z desecrated Smells Like Teen Spirit because it shows up on the title track that opens up the album. And just when you think it could not get worse, the “I am stupid and contagious” chorus is also sung by Justin Timberlake. Even had I had the free app, I would have deleted this track on principal alone. Heaven featuring lyrics from Losing My Religion is not much better. The track also sounds like it loops two notes from Stairway to Heaven (though not officially sampled) and it is hard not to cringe when Jay starts singing, “That’s me in the corner” off-key. It was cute when he did that to “And I wish I never met her at all” but not on a song like this.

It is apropos that Jay-Z gave away a million copies of the album because Magna Carta… Holy Grail just sounds like a mixtape which is not worth actually paying for. Half the songs sound they were created by Jay asking for song ideas in the studio, and people started shouting out random ideas: like “hey Hov, try Tom Ford… Picasso… Oceans (hey why don’t we get Frank Ocean on that track too?).” And some of the lyrics are just as puzzling like when Jay says he is “feeling like Brody in Homeland.” Huh? Is he being a traitor? Does he have crazy sex with law enforcement agents? Is he a Manchurian Candidate for a smartphone company? Does this mean Jay-Z cannot pleasure himself while in the presence of his naked wife? Did his daughter already drive over some homeless man? And why is he giving such a long shout out to Miley Cyrus? He spent more time on her than she did in Party in the U.S.A. (and then revealed she does not have a favorite song by him and does not even listen to Jay-Z). Then there is the Mommie Dearest sample in Jay-Z Blue: Blades of Glory it is not. Magna Carta… Holy Grail is just weird. But not even interesting, pushing boundaries weird, but what were you thinking weird. So congratulations to everyone who snagged the free app, because this mixtape is not worth actually putting money down for. Now if you excuse me I have a sudden urge to go buy a smartphone. Maybe an Blackberry.

Song to Download – BBC

Magna Carta… Holy Grail gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

The Best Television Shows of 2012-13

I have been making top ten lists of the best television shows of the year since 2006 and this is the first time ever that all ten spots went to dramas. Comedies really need to step their game up. Of the shows that used to be on this list, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother are just getting long in the tooth, Suburagtory suffered a sophomore slump, and the Dan Harmon-less Community was a disaster while newbies The Neighbors and Go On were solid, they just were not good enough. Here were the shows that were.

1. Justified Season 4 (FX)

2. Homeland Season 2 (Showtime)

3. Hannibal Season 1 (NBC)

4. Parenthood Season 4 (NBC)

5. The Americans Season 1 (FX)

6. Nashville Season 1 (ABC)

7. Mad Men Season 6 (AMC)

8. Bunheads (ABC Family)

9. Dallas Season 1 (TNT)

10. Sons of Anarchy Season 5 (FX)



After playing the bridesmaid for three straight seasons, Justified finally topped this list for the first time ever while FX took up two spots for the first time since I declared it the best network on television back in 2010 (which was also the last time Sons of Anarchy made the list). It also lifted FX over CBS for the third most shows on my best television shows list over the past eight years (12), just short of NBC (18) and ABC (15). CBS (11) is the only other network over five shows over that time. Now here are the shows that amassed the most Quote, Song, and Scene of the Week.

Quote of the Week
Pretty Little Liars – 5
Dallas – 4
Justified – 4
Mad Men – 4
Hannibal – 3
The Big Bang Theory - 2
Homeland – 2
Leverage – 2
The Neighbors – 2
Revenge – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
Bunheads – 1
The Challenge – 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Go On – 1
Grimm – 1
Happy Endings – 1
House of Lies – 1
Modern Family – 1
Nashville – 1
Parenthood – 1
Shameless – 1
Suburgatory – 1
Survivor – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Song of the Week
Bunheads – 5
Suburgatory - 4
Go On – 3
The Neighbors – 3
The Americans – 2
Castle – 2
Community – 2
Covert Affairs – 2
Dallas – 2
House of Lies – 2
How I Met Your Mother – 2
Justified – 2
Mad Men – 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty little Liars – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
The Big Bang Theory - 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
Once Upon a Time – 1
Shameless – 1
Sons of Anarchy – 1
Totally Biased – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Scene of the Week
Bunheads – 8
Suburgatory – 7
The Neighbors – 6
Go On – 3
Hannibal – 3
Community – 2
Modern Family - 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty Little Liars – 2
Don’t Trust the B---- in Apt. 23 – 1
Castle - 1
The Big Bang Theory – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
The Voice – 1

The Ninth Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 8th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between June 2012 and June 2013. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2013 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Justified

Best Sitcom: The Neighbors

Best Reality Show: Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites

Best Animated Show: Young Justice

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best Talk Show Host: Norm Macdonald

Best Talent Competition: The Voice

Best New Show: Hannibal

Best Mini-Series: The 80’s: The Decade that Made Us

Best Web Series: Burning Love: Burning Down the House

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: Dallas

Best Awards Show: 2013 Grammy Awards

Best Hour of TV: Decoy - Justified

Biggest Shocker: Langley being bombed (Homeland)

Worst Idea: Keeping Carrie on her meds (Homeland)

Worst Moment: Caroline Glaser getting voted off The Voice

Biggest Disappointment: Revenge's sophomore slump

Best New Title Sequence: Hannibal


Best Song Placement: In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (The Americans)

Best Karaoke: Ho Hey – Lennon and Maisy (Nashville)

Best Singing Competition Performance: Dream On – Amanda Brown (The Voice)


Best Dance Sequence: Making Whoopie (Bunheads)

Best Fight (Scripted): Tessa vs. Dalia (Suburgatory)

Best Fight (Unscripted): Frank vs. Dustin and Nany (The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons)

Hottest Token Hot Chick:

Best Character: Raylan Givens (Justified)

Best New Character: Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)

Best Recurring Character: Abigail Hobbs (Hannibal)

Best Guest Appearance: Bob Newhart (The Big Bang Theory)

Best Duo: Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham (Hannibal)

Most Entertaining Reality “Star”: Andrea Boehlke (Survivor: Caramoan)

Most Annoying Reality “Star”: Brandon Hantz (Survivor: Caramoan)

Best Quote: First thing we are going to do is acknowledge this guy is awesome. He shoots Theo Tonin, fakes his own death in a spectacular fashion, pushes a guy out of an airplane while he’s flying it, parachutes into Harlem County with enough coke and cash to kick start the economy of a small country, and then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement, not once, but two times. He’s spends a couple days riding around with you while you’re looking for him, and now he’s run off with a hooker that’s half his age. That’s some bad (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted). (Art Mullen, Justified)

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Go On

Most Anticipated New Show of Next Season: Masters of Sex (Showtime)

Biggest Question for 2012-2013: Will The Veronica Mars Movie live up to the television show? And more importantly, will it be successful enough for Netflix (or Amazon, or any other channel or streaming site) to fully resurrect the series?