Hate Watching seems to be a new phenomenon. I do not remember a show in my youth that I really hated watching (granted younger people are easier to amuse). I am sure the first question is why do you watch television shows you hate? The answer is quite simple, I really like complaining, I like it almost as much as I do watching great show (and let’s face it, it is a lot easier to find shows to hate watch than great shows). Plus I am a completist. If I watch a second episode I will be watching the show until the series finales. I can count the number of shows I quit from the past decade in the middle of it run on my hands. So in honor of The Killing returning this Sunday, here are the 10 Greatest Hate Watching
1. Lost
How Far Did I Get Through? Watched every 121 episode as well as all fourteen recap specials.
When Did it Go Bad? The first season finale.
Not only is this number one on the list, Lost for all intents and purposes invented hate watching. The first season was really good, it built this mysterious island, filled it interesting characters; there were intriguing flashbacks where people would randomly run into each other. And then the extremely three hour season finale came and nothing happened and everyone realized that the writers were making it all up as they went along. The characters spend the entire back half the season trying to open the hatch, and when they finally did… fade to black, see you next summer. I never truly enjoyed the show after that but had to stick around to see what everything meant. As it turned out, it meant nothing. If I could, I would sue the show to get six years of my life back.
2. The Killing
How Far Did I Get Through? Watched the first two seasons, have no intentions to watch the third (though ask me Monday to see if I could stay away)
When Did it Go Bad? After they spent four episodes with the teacher as the main suspect only for him to be cleared and were back at square one with no leads.
Prior to The Killing AMC billed itself as the “Place Where Stories Matter” they were racking up awards with the well received (and overly pretentious) shows Mad Men and Breaking Bad, so anticipation was high and The Killing lived up to it. But as each episode passed, everyone started to realize maybe it was not the best idea to stretch out an episode of Law and Order for an entire season. But at least we could rest in the solace that we would learn who killed Rosie Larson in the season finale. So the finale rolls around, Linden catches the city councilman and it is finally over. Except then you look at your clock and wonder why there is still five minutes left. Oh wait, evidence was faked, the mayor did not do it, come back for season two to find out who killed Rosie. What the frack! So I had to sit through another horrible season that somehow managed to be worse than the first only to find out who did it and the reasoning was extremely lame. If I start to watch the third season, please someone kill me. You can even have my aunt knowingly push a random car into a lake with me in the trunk.
3. Heroes
How Far Did I Get Through? Once they killed off Kristen Bell, I was out. Heroes was one of only three times I stopped watching a series mid-season (Jericho season one and Supernatural season two are the other ones).
When Did It Go Bad? Some would argue that the show went downhill in its second season; I would argue it never was any good.
Really, the only good episode in the series was the one written by Bryan Fuller (can you image how much better the show would have been had Fuller created it). The storylines were lame, the acting was worse, and the Big Bad was laughably bad. Even worse, Kristen Bell, fresh off the great Veronica Mars, got stuck slumming it with some horrible actor is an extremely silly plotline. I actually cheered when she was killed off because that meant I had a reason to stop watching and it freed Bell to move unto something better, which she did not because all she did afterwards was a string of cheesy chick flicks. (As rumor have it, Bell was offered the role of Charlotte on Lost at the same time but choose Heroes because she had just spent a couple months in Hawaii, where Lost set up camp, filming Forgetting Sarah Marshall.)
4. Survivor: Redemption Island
How Far Did I Get Through? Begrudgingly watched every episode, and every episode since.
When Did It Go Bad? The moment they cast Boston Rob and Russell Hantz.
There have been some bad seasons of Survivor but I never thought we would ever see one as bad as the season the porn star won. Then they announced Redemption Island which was curse from the start. Again Survivor has introduced some stupid twists, but Redemption Island was the worse. And it turned out to be a failure. Every person voted out would not actually leave the game but instead be exiled to Redemption Island where they could fight their way back into the game. Except in the two seasons that used Redemption Island, all four contestants reintroduced into the game were promptly voted off again. And if the cheesy gimmick was not enough, the show reintroduced my two least favorite returning players ever, Boston Rob and Russell. Thankfully Russell’s tribe was smart enough to dump him first but Rob stuck it out to the end and his airtight alliance with some of the dumbest people ever to play the game made the post merge episode painful to sit through because nothing happened. On the bright side, the season did give us Andrea, the Hottest Token Hot Chick in the History of Survivor.
5. How I Met Your Mother
How Far Did I Get Through? Have watched every episode so far and with only one season left will undoubtedly make it through all ten seasons.
When Did it Go Bad? It really was a slow decline but if I had to pick one singular moment, I was always disappointed when Victoria left the show for the first time, I was always hoping she would turn out to be the titular character.
This show is on the list simply because it has ran way too long especially considering its concept. Ted has been telling the story of how he met their mother for nine years now and we just met her during the most recent season finale. Keep in mind, just the audience met the mother, Ted has not even met her yet. Who sits through a story that long? Apparently I do.
6. Smallville
How Far Did I Get Through? When Lana Lang left, so did I.
When Did It Go Bad? Seriously, you do not let the Token Hot Chick leave.
Much like the previous selection, the show just went on about twice as long as it should have been. The show started out as a high school show and the series with Clark out of high school ended up bring more than two times longer than he was taking classes.
7. The Walking Dead
How Far Did I Get Through? Watched every episode so far (including a couple episodes of Talking Dead) and will continue to do so).
When Did It Go Bad? Even though the first season was slow, the farm sucked massively.
This probably should be higher on the list because it is worse than many of those shows, but as long as I get to see one zombie die violently per episode, I do get some enjoyment out of the show.
8. The Real World
How Far Did I Get Through? Las Vegas was the tipping point for me.
When Did It Go Bad? Vegas was just too trashy for me.
The Real World started out as great voyeurism that touched subject matter than even scripted television shows would not touch. I met my first gay homosexual (Norman), first HIV infected person (Pedro), first hot lesbian (Genesis), and the first person to ever wire their mouth shut to lose weight (Tami). Then in Chicago, the producers put camera in the bedroom where we watched Cara have sex live on camera with some random dude (and this is after a groupie hook up with who my sources tell me was Big Head Todd of the Monsters fame). Care then opened up the floodgates for Las Vegas which was like Sodom and Gomorrah: the Reality Show thanks to Trishelle. At the same time, MTV launched The Challenge where I still got my Real World fix.
9. Political Shows
How Far Did Get Through? 24 hour news remains my go to when avoiding commercials.
When Did it Go Bad? Probably when Fox News went hard right and MSNBC tried to be the counterpoint by going hard left.
As a political junkie, I cannot not watch the talking heads on the twenty-four news networks (with the exception of Rachel Maddow and Sean Hannity, you have to draw the line somewhere) even if they have gotten deeply partisan over the years. You have conservatives complain that MSNBC treats the president with kid gloves while tingles ride up their legs while Fox News rails against the mainstream media even though they are the most watched cable news station, it does not get much more mainstream than that. At least W. Kamau Bell has the common courtesy to call his show Totally Biased. And it looks to only get more partisan in the upcoming months when One America News launches which is being sold as a new station for people who think Fox News is too liberal. Great. It is a shame the most balanced news show on cable is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
10. Once Upon a Time
How Far Did Get through? Have watched every episode not including the recap specials) and will probably continue to watch next season along with the presumably just as bad Once Upon a Time: Wonderland spin-off next season too.
When Did it Go Bad? With the introduction of magic in the first season finale.
Considering what is number one on this list, I probably should have avoided anything “from the writers of Lost” like the plague, but like Lost, the set up was too interesting to pass up. And hopefully the writers from Lost would learn from their mistakes. They did not, there are still plot holes so big you can sail the Jolly Rodger through it. And though the writers deserve to have plenty of poetic license, they go too far like ruining Neverland and what moron decided to cast an Abercrombie model as Captain Hook or even include Dr. Frankenstein at all? Much like Heroes, it is hard not to wonder how much better this show would be if it were being run by Bryan Fuller. But if the show were created by Bryan Fuller, it would have been canceled already. With that said, I will probably not only still watch next season but will probably watch the Wonderland spin-off.
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