57 Channels and Only This Is On - 7/8/12

Quote of the Week: You phone sex in Latin? (Jared, Franklin & Bash)

Song of the Week: Rainy Day Janie – Peter Bash (Franklin and Bash)

Big News of the Week: It’s Hot: Seriously, it was 90 degrees by noon almost every day this week. On the bright side my lawn is officially dead and I may not have to mow it again until next year. Unless of course weeds start sprouting up in lieu of grass. Is it fall yet?

Preview Picture of the Week:



Falling Skies: Wow, that harness factory was extremely creepy and was only made creepier by the reveal of that the harnesses are actually living entities. I wonder if that knowledge will make removing them easier or lead them to being able to remove them completely. But my favorite part was when the Hispanic leader, then told Lourdes that Northern Mexico was destroyed. He just told her he was from Pennsylvania. How does someone from Philly know what happened to Mexico anymore than someone who living in Boston? The only thing that will make me laugh harder if her family shows up in Virginia.
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Dallas: I do not understand why Rebecca fessed up to the e-mail. Why not just say JR Jr. was setting you up and blackmailing you? I am sure Christopher would have believed her over him and it is very plausible explanation. Now I just do not k now what that can do with the Rebecca character after this. Oh wait, this is a soap opera, she will just hook up with JR Jr.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Medicine Spoon – Ruby Velle and the Soulphonics (Spinner)

Deal of the Week: $2.99 Soundtracks: Sure the art of soundtracks died in the internet age because you could just cherry pick some of the best songs anyway. But there are still some oldies worth picking up like Footloose (the original, not the crappy reboot), Reality Bites, Dirty Dancing, and Romeo + Juliet.



New Album Release of the Week: Uncaged - Zac Brown Band

New DVD Release of the Week: American Reunion

Video of the Week: It has been a while since I have seen anything that involves Nickelodeon on account that I am old. But back when I did, the most salacious it got was kids getting green slime dumped on them for saying “I don’t know.” Fast-forward a decade (or two… or three) and Nickelodeon Films is about to release a movie featuring Chelsea Handler, Jonny Knoxville, an animatronic humping chicken and some dude shouting “trick or treat (expletive deleted)”. But Fun Size also features Suburgatory’s Jane Levy in full Snarky Emma Stone mode which I fully approve of.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Perception, Monday at 10:00 on TNT: New show Perception starring Rachael Leigh Cook premieres Monday which begs the question, where has Rachael Leigh Cook been the past decade? She was poised to be the next best thing after She's All That (the gold standard of Ugly Chicks Who Are Secretly Hot movies) and the greatest anti-drug commercial ever. Unfortunately she followed that up with three high profile clunkers: Josie and the Pussycats, Antitrust, and Texas Rangers (where James Van Deer Beek once again botched the Texas accent). After that her IMDB page is filled with movies I doubt anyone has even heard of (Blonde Ambition with Jessica Simpson anyone?). Twenty-four movies since 2002 and I saw one of them. Hopefully Perception can get her career back on track because the world could use more Rachael Leigh Cook in stuff worth watching. If not, there are still people taking drugs she can knock around with a frying pan. Look for a full review (minus Cook’s career overview) tomorrow.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/30/12

Quote of the Week: How times can you hear Copacabana without totally siding with Rico? (Michelle, Bunheads)

Song of the Week: She's Gone – Hall and Oates (as tried to be sung by Peter, Franklin & Bash)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Health Care for All, or Else: Who would have guessed it would have been the George Bush appointed Chief Justice John Roberts who would become the swing vote on the Affordable Health Care Act (known to its opponents as Obamacare nee Romneycare)? Of course he was able to get a little partisan jab in his decision saying the law was Constitutional because it was a tax and Congress is allowed to tax Americans even though one of president Obama’s biggest selling points was that it was not a tax. Oops. So if you do not buy health care in the next couple years you will be taxed for it (unless you are near the poverty line, then it is Medicare for you). Of course any so called heath care plan that does not treat carbonated soda and other sugary treats like tobacco is pretty worthless.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Falling Skies: This show and The Walking Dead both seem to suffer from the same problems, the characters are aimless. And whenever they get a destination to get to, another character comes in and says that place has been destroyed or overrun by non-humans. So I am very intrigued with the group heading down to the Continental Congress. Who know what will happen when they get there or if they get there (which may not end up being until the end of the season) but for first time in this series, I am interesting in where they are going with the story.
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: You would think after Mona blackedmailed herself as A, you would think the Liars would be highly suspicious of anyone else who is being blackmailed. Last week Jena said she continued to pretend to be blind because someone was after her. And this week Spencer’s sister claims she pretended not to be pregnant because someone was blackmailing her. I am guessing in the next episode we will learn that Hermy is being blackmailed too and that is why he is cranky. That and he was totally nailing Mona before she went into the nuthouse and is not getting any since then.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Dallas: What a cruel way to end the episode in mid confession. Thankfully TNT is airing a new episode on 4th of July because on their screeners they had no new episodes airing on the holiday. Granted since I had them at my disposal, I went ahead and watched the opening scene of next week’s episode which ended up playing out exactly how I expected.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Brushfire Records Sampler (Noise Trade, e-mail required)

Deal of the Week: More $2.99 Albums: This week Amazon super-discounted some of my favorite albums (that I paid much more from) including The Black Keys, Mumford and Sons, The Civil Wars as well as the 24-song Led Zeppelin greatest hits package.



New Album Release of the Week: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Soundtrack

New DVD Release of the Week: The Hunter

Video of the Week: In Looper Joseph Gordon Levitt plays a young Bruce Willis who is supposed to kill his future self. Alrighty. I am all up for a weird science-fiction except when I checked out the trailer, Levitt looked nothing like a young Bruce Willis but looked exactly like a young Ed Norton to the point I had to wonder if Norton was originally cast as the older version. It was as if Willis replaced Norton at the last minute and JGL decided that he spent months perfecting his Ed Norton show he just went ahead and did it anyway.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Weeds, Sunday at 10:00 on Showtime: I have already previewed the final season of Weeds, so click the link to read that and be sure to check out the second season Episodes directly following.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/23/12

Quote of the Week: The best way to get to know somebody is to talk to their friends… and their enemies. My friends are in the state house. My enemies are harder to find. (J.R. – Dallas)

Song of the Week: Picture In a Frame - Tom Waits (Bunheads)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: A New Member of the Asterisk Club: The Asterisk Club opened its doors to accommodate all the cheating that went on in baseball for the past two decades and has even opened its doors to Olympians, singing competition winners, and even a president. And this week it welcomed its latest member: LeBron James. As a Cleveland sports fan, we had the asterisk locked and loaded when he took his talents to South Beach so he could play with two other All-Stars, one of which was another top five talent in the league. But in the year he won his first championship, that asterisk got even larger. There shortened season, making it an abnormal win to begin with (keep in mind the last time there was a shortened season, an eighth seed made it to the finals). Then the asterisk grew even bigger when Derrick Rose, the best player on the best team, tore his ACL in the first game of the playoffs, giving the Heat an easy path to the championship, playing lower seeds. So enjoy your asterisk and say high to Barry Bonds for me. And if any of this sounds like sour grapes, that is because it is.

The Killing: After a bunch of painful to sit through episodes it was a total shock that the case of Rosie Larsen actually ended competently. A back room deal that Rosie overheard and Jamie had to get rid of her. But why did they wrap it up before the first commercial break. Of wait, this is The Killing and they had to find a way to screw it up. Just when Lynden went to the Larsen’s to tell them they found a broken taillight in a garage they had been in countless number of times. And that taillight was apparently enough evidence for the aunt to confess. Sure she could have lied about it, or gotten it fixed sometime in the last three weeks, or at least explain why the taillight was integral to the story (this is why you solve the case in the first season, everything we learned a year ago, most of us have forgotten). Now it is time to start up a class action lawsuit to get The Killing and AMC to pay therapists to erase any memory of The Killing from our collective minds.
You can download The Killing on iTunes.

Bunheads: A really weird way to start off a series based around someone’s death especially when that death is the husband the main character barely knew. One episode in and I am already content with the show jumping ahead a year where Michelle and Fanny are running the dance studio together with an Odd Couple living arrangement. But since it looks like there will be a fight, or at least some resentment over the estate (how could they be that shocked, even without a will, everything would have gone to the widow anyway).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Yeah, Hermy the Hermaphrodite was totally nailing Mona. That is why he has been so moody lately. And I am beginning to think that it is not a good sign that three seasons in, I still have no clue what his real name is and have to resign to calling him Hermy every time.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Dallas: I am glad we got the silly e-mail storyline out of the way. And now that is out of the way, who exactly is Christopher’s new bride, and more importantly who is her brother and what is their agenda? And since this is a soap opera, it is safe to assume their parents are still alive, if they are even related in the first place.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

The Great Escape, Premiering Sunday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Love Don't Leave Me Waiting - Glen Hansard (Amazon MP3)

Deal of the Week: Going Solo for $2.99: This week’s ultra cheap albums all belong to group members who struck gold (and platinum) on their on including Lionel Richie, George Michael, Ben Folds and Kenny Loggins.



New Album Release of the Week: Write Me Back (Deluxe Edition) - R. Kelly

New DVD Release of the Week: Christopher Nolan Director's Collection (Blu-ray)

Video of the Week: Sometime when they announce a sequel to a movie you just have to roll your eyes. How many times does Brady Cooper have to get hunover before giving up drinking altogether? How many times are terrorists going to take over a building with Bruce Willis in it? And when they announced Taken 2 I could not help thinking, how many times will the Token Hot Chick from Lost get kidnapped? I originally thought that maybe the person that would be “taken” this time around would be the pop star at the end of the first movie. Nope. The trailer has been released and the family of all the henchmen Liam Neeson killed in the first movie is back for revenge (who knew redshirts had family?) and takes his (ex?)-wife and (presumably) the Token Hot Chick from Lost. But the biggest disappointment from the trailer is the lack of an epic monologue. They better be saving that for the actual movie because if what everyone talks about in the first movie is not in the sequel, you are going to be in trouble.



Next Week Pick of the Week: The Great Escape, Sunday (tomorrow) at 10:00 on TNT: For those going through withdrawals with no Survivor, The Amazing Race, or The Challenge on television for the summer, or wished those three shows would dump the social aspect from their shows and have stand alone episode will want to check out The Great Escape when it premieres tomorrow. Look out for my full review then.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/16/12

Quote of the Week: Bobby may not be stupid but I’m a hellva lot smarter. (J.R. – Dallas)

Song of the Week: You Only Live Twice – Nancy Sinatra (Mad Men)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: George Bush’s Head on a Stake: I was not a big fan of George W. Bush as president to the point that I even deregistered from the Republican party because he was such a bad president (or at least I tried, leaving a political party turns out to be as hard as trying to leave the mafia). But I always respect the office of the presidency no matter who is sitting in the Oval Office or how bad of a job they are doing. So I was a bit offended when I learned that Game of Thrones featured a scene featuring the disembodied head of the former president sitting on a stake in one of their scenes. The producers said it was not a political statement; it was just a head they had lying around that they needed to fill a sea of heads on stakes (not to be confused with Pardon the Interruption’s less offensive Heads on Sticks). This begs the question why did they have the head of George W. Bush just lying around? Ironically this came to light the same week that HBO was airing a feature on George H.W. Bush.

Of course my outrage died down after I saw the picture of George’s head with looked about as much like the former president as of the bust of Lionel Richie looked like the singer in his Hello music video. There is probably a reason this did not come out until someone mentioned it on the DVD commentary.



Preview Picture of the Week:

Falling Skies, Sunday at 9:00 on TNT

Mad Men: Now that the season is over, I have come to the realization that I really did not like the year’s theme of getting old sucks then you die. Don felt threatened by the youth of his wife and Ginsburg. Pete was exiled to the suburbs. Peggy leaned she had to leave her father figure behind to get any further. Betty got fat. Sally literally became a woman. Joan’s marriage crumbled and became a prostitute. Megan followed her dream and failed. Harry set away his friend to follow his dream while Harry stayed stuck in his column filled cubicle. And of course there was Lane the most tragic of them all. Roger was the only one that came out unscaved but he stopped worrying about life after his heart scare early in the series. And it is off that with the getting old motif of the season that it did not end with a very picturesque Don walking off a bright set into a dark, lifeless studio but instead it ended with Don all but winking into the camera when asked at a bar if her were alone. Even the scene in the expanded office with the five partners would have made for a better ending. But at least more people beat the crap out of Pete.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: My favorite part of the episode was when one of the Liars asks, “Did Jenna become more blinder?” But a fairly uneventful episode. We already knew Janna was overcompensating from not actually being blind. Mona talked for the first time for month, but did not have anything interesting to say. Garrett literally kept his mouth shut. (and that begs the question why did Spencer go ahead and talk to Garrett after hearing her mother was going to come back the next day for a complete visitor list after just forbidding her from going to see Garrett again?) There was some weird storyline with earrings that Aria put in Allison’s casket, but that begs the question, why did she choose to put what she thought were her dad’s mistress’s earrings as a keepsake for Allison for all eternity? Did she not have something better to symbolize their friendship?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: ATO Records Spring Sampler 2012: Get songs from Alabama Shakes, Dawes, Primus and more

Deal of the Week: Singers Who Act for $2.99: Amazon deeply discounted another set of albums including one of the greatest records ever made: Purple Rain. Other albums you can get for the low price include ones from Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore and Jennifer Love Hewitt (yes, she recorded an album).



New Album Release of the Week: The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do - Fiona Apple

New DVD Release of the Week: Wilfred

Video of the Week: I think we can all agree that Call Me Maybe is a horrible song that we cannot stop listening and singing along to and hating ourselves for it after it is over. But if there is any group that could make any song sound credible, it would be The Roots. And they did just that. With children’s instruments. So congratulations Call Me Maybe chick, for one shining moment you horribly cheesy song was credible. Now say hi to Skee-Lo on your way to one hit wonder obscurity.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Falling Skies, Sunday at 9:00 on TNT: TNT continues it slow summer roll out with the return of their sci-fi show Falling Skies. It had its moments but I was not that impress with the first season so hopefully that gets turned around with the second season which returns with back to back episodes. Look for a full review tomorrow.

Previewing Dallas

In a measure of full disclosure, I should mention that I have never seen an episode of the original Dallas which ran from 1978 to 1991. Even though it ran for thirteen seasons, I was still too young to watch by the time it went off the air. I was so young at the time, when I saw the cast of the new version I thought to myself, “Why did they cast the dad from Step by Step in such a serious role?” (Which begs the question way can Staci Keanan not find more work? Can we fast track a My Two Dads reboot please. Get on that ABC Family. But anyway.) Since I was alive during the era I of course am familiar with who shot J.R. (well the plotline, I am not entirely sure who did the shooting) and that one of the seasons turned out to be the longest dream sequence ever. Could you imagine if that happened today, and you thought the internet exploded over the season finale of The Killing. The internet would burn down if an entire season was revealed a dream today.

With that out of the way, there is no learning curve for anyone who want to jump into the Dallas reboot without have seen it in the original run because you were too young at the time (which is basically anyone under forty) or not even born yet (people born the same year Dallas went off the air will be old enough to drink this year). For those that that did watch the original run, the last twenty-one years has not been good to the Ewing boys. In the second scene, Bobby is diagnosed with cancer and J.R. spends the first episode mostly motion-and-speechless in a nursing home suffering from depression. But do not worry; the best character on the show will not be confined to an old folk’s home for that long as J.R. regains his fastball by the second episode. Or as close to a fastball that an eighty year old can throw it.

With the older downtrodden, the new Dallas slowly shift to the new generation and the cousin at the heart of the new show are chips off the old blocks. Jon Ross (Josh Henderson, Desperate Housewives), much like his father J.R. is a ruthless oilman who is not above drilling on the family land behind his family’s back to get every last drop there is even if that involves the buzz word of the moment, fracking. The altruistic Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe, Desperate Housewives) is the good son just like his adopted father Bobby who is moving past the dirty oil game looking for cleaner alternative fuels like methane hydrate.

And where would the Ewing men be without their women? Both cousins had a go around with the family cook’s daughter Jordana Brewster (Fast Five), first with Christopher before ending up with Jon Ross (sadly no on calls him J.R. Jr.). Christopher eventually moved onto Julie Gonzalo (Veronica Mars) who he is engaged to and the Pilot episode has them coming back to Southfork to get married which it set to go on at the end of the first episode. Bobby even got himself a new wife (Brenda Strong, Desperate Housewives' disembodied narrator and was actually on the orginal Dallas as “Cliff’s One Night Stand” during the seventh season) while J.R.’s ex Sue Ellen is still around and had gotten herself into politics while the show has been off the air.

With Dallas essentially inventing the modern day nighttime soap and its mysteries like who shot J.R., what looks to be the initial conflict of the controlling interest of the family land at Southfork by the four Ewing boys really lacks intensity you come to expect from night time soaps. This is very glaring when you compare it to the gold standard of today: Revenge with the protagonist going after everyone involved with her father’s imprisonment (and death). Even the first season of Desperate Housewives (which shared a lot of DNA with Dallas, even Larry Hagman showed up at one point) that rebooted the nighttime soap craze of today built a more interesting mystery and conflict than Dallas came back with. Arguing over land rights and drilling rights just does not pack the same punch these days. Plus, why can Jon Ross not just buy the land next door, stick in a straw in the land and drink Bobby’s milkshake up that way? There is even an awkward storyline with a mysterious e-mail (which thankfully get resolved by the third episode). Also it gets annoying really quick how everyone in the Ewing family over-emphasized their relationship to the person they are talking to angrily.

What the new Dallas does have going for it is what could be a record breaking amount of double crosses. And not only are there a few triple crosses, the show even managed the elusive quadruple cross (which I have a feeling may turn into a quintuple-cross by the time I watch the next episode). If you are a fan a drinking game, go ahead and take a shot everytime there is a double-cross, a double for a triple-cross and so long. But be warned, you may end up drunker then if you played my Deadwood drinking game.

I also always enjoy watching Jordana Brewster try to act and she takes it to another level on Dallas because her Texas accent goes in and out from scene to scene (and sometimes in the same scene). But if there is a breakout star, it will be Gonzalo, a highly likeable actress with some bad luck. She was resigned to the background on Veronica Mars after her rape storyline was wrapped up. Eli Stone never got a fair shake. And her Day One show is one of the rare shows that got picked up by a network but never actually made it to air. Hopefully she can finally shine on Dallas (even though she plays the doting fiancé tonight, we get to better know her character next week).

Fans of the original run should not expect a cavalcade of cameos from the first run. Even though he is getting married much of the Ewing family that is not in the main cast fails to show up except for Charlene Tilton as niece Lucy (she gives some excuse why her father could not make it). Christopher’s own adopted mother does not even show up to the festivities and is not even mentioned until next week when her bother Cliff Barnes (who also skipped his nephew’s wedding) shows up. Another J.R. nemesis Ray Krebbs also shows up later in the season.

Even though he remains the best part of the new show and gets the best lines (“Bobby may not be stupid, but I’m a hellava lot smarter”) J.R. is showing is age as Hagman turned eighty last year and has already retired twice, coming out for the second time for the Dallas reboot. During its original run, the famous” Who Shot J.R.” happened at the end of the third season. I have a feeling will not have to wait that long for a “Who Killed J.R.” cliffhanger even if J.R. hilariously tells another character who points a gun at him, “Bullets don’t have much effect on me.”

Dallas airs Wednesdays at 9:00 and premieres tonight with back to back episodes. You can also download Dallas on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/9/12

Quote of the Week: You let that wax figurine discourage you? (Rodger, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: S&M – Rihanna (Pretty Little Liars)

Scene of the Week:




Big News of the Week: I Need to Stop Watch Award Shows: I grew up on MTV but I rarely even flip to the channel anymore except when The Challenge or Beavis and Butt-head are on. But for some reason I am still drawn into the channel’s award shows even though they have not been watchable in years. I talked myself into checking it out because The Black Keys and Fun. were performing and Emma Stone was getting some made up awards. But other than those three moments, the Movie Awards sucked. Where were the cool parodies? Where were the weird pairings (now every award has to be presented by the “cast” of a movie)? And teen girls are still ruining everything by voting for crappy vampire movies. Remember the good old days when nerds controlled the show? Wow I’m old. Actually I am so old I watched Mad Men live Sunday.

On the flip side I have never seen one previous CMT Awards before but only watched for one reason: Kristen Bell. Yeah, that was a bad idea. Sure the Pistol Annies skit was funny (somebody get that girl a record contract) was entertaining, but the political opening fell flat. And Barack Obama an Mitt Romney not backing Kristen is a disqualifier. Is Ross Perot still around? All was not lost though; Willie Nelson performed a song called Roll Me Up an Smoke Me When I Die God bless you Willie.

Mad Men: I never thought Mad Men would be so literal as to actually have someone fall out a window, but as Lane turned to his after Don fired him, I thought for a second that he may actually throw himself out of his. But after a failed attempted to kill himself via Jaguar that he was not actually able start (which begs the question, at what point does Jaguar sue the show for defamation?) he hung himself in his own office. Well at least Lane got to punch Pete Campbell in the face before leaving this mortal coil. So now in two consecutive episodes, Don has Lane’s suicide and Joan’s prostitution hanging over his head (and that does not take into account the other crap he has dealt with lately with Peggy leaving, his wife drifting apart, the Jewish alien becoming better than him, etc.). Last season ended with a proposal, I do not see anything as celebratory happening in next week’s finale. I would not be surprised if this season gets bookend with the dissolution of Don and Megan’s marriage. Or maybe we will get our first extra marital affair of the season (I hope everyone took the over on the number of episodes before that happened) unless of course you count the dream chick Don nailed than murdered.

You can download Mad Men on iTunes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

Dallas premiering Wednesday at 9:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Daddy – Emeli Sande (iTunes): If that is not enough free from her, you can also grab Where I Sleep on Amazon.

Deal of the Week: Pop Classics for $2.99: The MP3 wars are heating up again as Amazon has deeply discounted albums from Hall and Oates and Hootie and the Blowfish and the soundtracks to Footloose and Dirty Dancing.



New Album Release of the Week: The Bravest Man In The Universe - Bobby Womack

New DVD Release of the Week: Episodes: The First Season

Video of the Week: If you are like me you were too young to watch Dallas (which is basically anyone under forty) when it originally aired. So if you need a catch up on the first run’s 357 episodes, unless you jumped in during its thirteen season run, TNT has released a refresher course on the Ewing family including what has happened at the Southfork ranch in the two decades since the show went off the air. And once you are caught up, tune into the reboot when it has its two-hour premiere this Wednesday at 9:00.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Bunheads, Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family: Sure I am too old and too male to watch yet another show on ABC Family, but besides the subject matter, the show is quick, fun, and highly entertaining. Look for a full review on Monday. And for those not quite sure what a “Bunhead” is, below is photographic evidence showing what is and is not a Bunhead.