Young Love: Full of Promise, Full of Hope, Ignorant of Reality

Valentine’s Day is a polarizing holiday, well mostly for women. If they are in a relationship, they love it; if not they hate it and hate everyone that is celebrating. Guys on the other had hate it if they are in a relationship, will those that are not could have thee day pass and not even know it. And Valentine’s Day the movie (out today on Blu-ray Combo Pack, DVD, On Demand and for Download) may be just as polarizing where female loving romantic comedies will eat up this star studded affair while the boyfriends they make them watch will just be happy it isn’t as bad as He’s Just Not That into You.

The movie runs every gambit of love from school boy crush to young love (Taylors Swift and Lautner), couples ready to take the next step (Emma Roberts), a new relationship (Anne Hathaway and Topher Grace), a longer one (Jenifer Garner and Patrick Dempsey),a long distance love (Julia Roberts), the newly engaged (Jessica Alba and Ashton Kutcher), the old married couple (Shirley MacLaine and Hector Elizondo), a guy ready to find love (Eric Dane) and yes there are even the woman who hates the holiday because she doesn’t have a date (Jessica Biel) and a pair of guys that could care less the holiday is happening because they are not in a relationship (Jamie Foxx and Bradley Cooper). Also in the cast playing auxiliary roles to those in or about to find love include Kathy Bates, Queen Latifah, George Lopez.

Naturally, like the more entertaining Love, Actually, all the players end up interacting in each other’s storyline but what it misses is the heart where you actually care about a bulk of the cast. Oh yeah, and it misses on the second half of the romantic comedy equation but that is what happens when you can based on a pretty face (Alba and Biel should consider leaving the genre altogether) instead of legitimate comedians of which there are only two unless you count Larry Miller who makes a cameo and Jamie Foxx’s camerman (Foxx plays a sports reporters who is forced to be a man on the street asking about Valentine’s Day) who has a few good laugh even if half were reduced to the Delete Scenes section.

Also Hathaway shows that she should return to the genre more often as her storyline was by far the most entertaining. And there are some other hilarious moments including the Taylors at track practice where Lautner has a run in with a huddle (which was supposed to be funny) and Swift’s running style (which I am not sure was supposed to be funny but was anyway), then the younger Robert’s boyfriend has maybe the funniest scene I the movie while Lopez and Foxx rattle off a few good one liners. But for a movie that runs just over two hours, you should expect more than five big laughs through the film.

The blu-ray (which comes in a combo pack with the DVD and a digital copy) is pretty thin in the bonus feature department. There are your usual blooper real (which half is less bloopers and more the crew snapping the time marker but it does lead to a funny call back to a previous Garry Marshall flick) and audio commentary (which is mildly entertaining because Marshall oversells almost everything). And for all you ladies out there, there is also an extended sneak peek at the new Sex in the City 2 movie. There are also two short featurettes with stars talking about their Valentine’s Day experiences and other about working with Marshall along with a music video from Jewel. But the twenty minute deleted scenes with introduction from Marshall are worth checking including a bit where Foxx interviews Denver Nugget’s Chris Anderson in a tattoo parlor and a PSA featuring Dwight Howard and Penny Marshall (yes, Garry cut his own sister out of his movie).



Full Disclosure Notice: This Blu-Ray was given to me on behalf of Warner Brothers Entertainment for the sole purpose of reviewing the movie.

Music Will Lead Her Away; Her Heart Will Bring Her Home

Casting movies that rely heavily on music can be a sticky situation because there are very few actors that are great actors and great singers. So do you cast an outstanding singer with nominal acting ability, or do cast a great actor who may not be best at carrying a tune. Preacher’s Kid did both. For the former there are the LeToya Lukett (she was one of girls kicked out of Destiny’s Child about ten years ago) and Durrell “Tank” Babbs (who had a number one R&B song with Please Don’t Go), while gospel artist Kiki Sheard also has a smaller role in the movie. On the other side of the coin is Sharif Atkins (ER) who has someone else sing and play piano for him.

With the music sung mostly by professionals, the songs are a stand out for Preacher’s Kid, especially the ones that open and close the movie, to the point you wonder why an accompanying soundtrack album wasn’t released s it would have don’t pretty good in the Christian and gospel charts.

But when the music stops, things tend to drag on until the next musical moment. We have all seen this story before, this time from first time director and writer Stan Foster (who also wrote the stage play Daddy Can I Please Come Home which serves as the backdrop for Preacher’s Kid), the prodigal son (or daughter in this case) leaves home against a parents blessing to experience the big bad world alone while fighting the temptation to give up to return to the comforts of home even if they got the dreaded, “If you walk out that door” speech.

Even though the two leads are novices, the supporting cast is solid most notably Clifton Powell (Next Friday) as the shifty producer of the play that Luckett runs off to join. Gregalen Williams (Baywatch) is convincing behind the pulpit as Luckett’s bishop father. While Essence Atkins (TBS’s upcoming sitcom version of Are We There Yet?) provided some nominal comedic relief as Luckett’s lone friend on the traveling play. But still Preacher’s Kid feels like a Lifetime movie for the large majority of the film.

As for the extra on the Blu-Ray (which is part of a combo pack that includes a Blu-Ray, DVD, and Digital Copy version of the film; you can also buy the DVD version separately or a digital download, all available today) you mostly have your standard issue fair. There are four featurettes (a making of, music of the film, and bios of Luckett and Atlanta, where the movie was filmed) which combined total around twenty minutes. Then there is another twenty minutes of deleted scenes including a storyline about how Powell got money to put on the play. You can also check out the official site at PreachersKidMovie.com.



Full Disclosure Notice: This Blu-Ray was given to me on behalf of Warner Brothers Entertainment for the sole purpose of reviewing the movie.

It's Like a World's Greatest Hits Collection of Nightmares

Vampires are lame. They just sleep all day, slick their back, and wear a wardrobe that Liberace would consider too over the top. I actually just described a cousin of mine who is a prime candidate for the next season of Tool Academy. And as lame as vampires are, they somehow managed to become even lamer last decade when they all decided to become annoyingly whiney, became impotent (seriously, a vampire that doesn’t kill?!) and then these two hundred year old dudes started hanging out in high school, picking up sixteen year old girls. Someone get Chris Hansen on the phone.

If you want a cool supernatural being, look no further than Zombies: George Romano, Evil Dead, Thriller, Shaun of the Dead, Resident Evil. There is a reason Robert Bartleh Cummings did not use for his pseudonym Rob Vampire. Now it is time to add another win for Zombies column in their battle vs. Vampires: Zombieland.

Zombieland is one of those movies you can pretty much tell is going to be great just by the title along. That thought was validated with first look at the trailer with a banjo swinging Woody Harrelson set to Van Halen’s Everybodt Want Some!! And Zombieland isn’t one of those comedies where the only funny two minutes are jammed into the trailer; in fact the high point of the film features the greatest cameo ever, yes even better than Bob Barker beating up Happy Gilmore.

The plot revolves around Jesse Eisenberg (Cursed) who manages to have as many friends after the zombies took out almost all of humanity as before that happened and has only stayed alive thanks to a list of rules (#31 Check the Backseat). He is picked up hitchhiking by Harrelson (Kingpin) who has made it this far because of his love for killing zombies. Along their way they run into sisters Emma Stone (Ghosts of Girlfriends Past), who does a decent impersonation of Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2, and Abigail Breslin (Ghost Whisperer), because what is more entertaining than watching a twelve year old unload a double barrel into a zombie?

If there one gripe to have about Zombieland it would be Eisenberg’s narration can get long in the tooth and his monotone maybe wasn’t the best idea, but whenever the drone started to start in, another entertaining zombie elimination happened. And the climatic amusement park scene is an edge of your seat rush that will make you fall off it when it throws in an unexpected joke. Word is a 3-D sequel is in the works, but considering the movie was originally developed for the small screen, hopefully they revisit that idea and bump off one of those lame vampire television shows to make room for Zombieland: The Series.

Zombieland gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

War: What Is it Good For?

A wise man once pondered the title above, “War: what is it good for?” It is a valid question, but Edwin Starr shouldn’t have tried answering that question himself because it isn’t, “Absolutely nothing.” The actual answer is entertainment. There have been movies about war since the invention of moving pictures and Hollywood is still cranking them out with Defiance, The Hurt Locker and Inglourious Bastards all hit theaters this year. Call of Duty is one of the most popular video games with its six games (the next coming next year) in the series selling over 55 million copies. And if you went to high school undoubtedly you had to read All Quiet on the Western Front.

There is also plenty of war to be found on television; Ken Burns has done two successful documentaries for PBS. And without war, it is doubtful that there would even be a History channel who recently has its own successful documentary series WWII on HD (which you can find on iTunes if you missed it). For anyone who is a fan of war as entertainment, or has one on your Christmas list, I have a DVD set you will want to check out: The World Wars: The Complete History of WWI and WWII from History. Just how complete? How about 41 programs on 14 disks (including four bonus features) for over 25 hours of programming. I imagine if you have a History teacher on your Christmas list, you are not going to find a better gift.

The programs included are what you would expect from History and every angle from the two great wars are covered, air battles, navel battles, trench warfare, political ramifications, American, English, Russian, German points of view, episodes of Battlefield Detectives, Deep Sea Detectives and Biography, very few stones are uncovered. If there is one complaint to be had, these programs were produces individually and are thrown together into one set. So plenty of information found overlap many of the programs. If you didn’t know that the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was the catalyst of WWI, you will never forget after going through this set as it is mentioned quite frequently.

You can find the The World Wars: The Complete History of WWI and WWII at shop.history.com for 79.99 (that comes to just under $6.00 a DVD). For you barging shoppers, you may want to try Amazon where it is currently on sale for 40.99 (which is less than $3.00 per disk, see below).

We Should Have Went to the Beach

Whenever I watch a horror movie, my mind always seems to wonder to one thought: “This would be much better if there zombies in it.” The of course the next thing in my brain is, “and what if those zombies were Nazis: how cool would that be?” Leave it to those nutty Norwegians to put that idea to film. Yes, Nazi Zombies in living color (bad pun intended) for Død snø or Dead Snow for us English speakers.

Of course the drawback to a Norwegian film is that the cast speaks Norwegian and you are stuck the whole film reading. But on the plus side: there’s fracking Nazi Zombies! The story follows five co-eds who are spending their Easter vacation at a cabin up in the hills of Norway for a film marathon and snowy fun. That is until a creepy old dude invites himself in for some coffee and proceeds to call the kids stupid for coming to such a place without knowing its history. Yet he never explains why he is traveling alone in the same place. But who cares about a trivial plot point because there are Nazi Zombies!

Basically the old dude is only there to tell our protagonists why they are about to get attacked by Nazi Zombies. Once the Nazi Zombies infest there are plenty of horrifically funny death scenes to make Sam Raimi proud (Evil Dead even gets a shout out). If we are lucky, if there is ever an English remake of the film, hopefully Raimi is involved. And of course there is a gratuitous use of a chainsaw, a chainsaw to saw Nazi Zombies in half. Horror just doesn’t get better than that. Even if you are like me and hate reading especially when watching television, you will still want to pick up Dead Snow (which I think the only way you will be able to get a hold of in the United States is through Blockbuster). But did I mention there are Nazi Zombies?!

Dead Snow gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You'd Be Surprised What You'll Do When the Lamia Comes for You

During the Halloween season, there is one movie I go back to for a good scare, and a few laughs thrown in for good measure, and that is the Evil Dead Trilogy (okay that is three, but who’s counting). Unfortunate the creative mind behind those movies Sam Raimi has been too busy playing with boys in tights the last decade to do anything in the horror genre this decade until he squeaked one in at the end with Drag Me to Hell.

First off, Bruce Campbell who was the lead in the Evil Dead movies and cameos in all three Spider-Man movies as three different characters, is absent from the film. But other than that, Drag Me to Hell is pure Sam Raimi. The unexpected laughs throughout the movie jump up as much as the unsuspecting scary parts that horror movies are known for, although Raimi may have gone with one too many false endings.

The movie centers around Alison Lohman (Big Fish), a sweet loan officer who decides to get a backbone at the wrong time. Promotion time is right around the corner and after her boss says to get it, she will start to have to make the tough decisions which leads to Lohman to decline a frail old lady (perfectly portrayed by Lorna Raver with an assist to the great makeup artist who turned her that way) a third extension on her mortgage tossing her on the street. Wrong decision.

In retaliation, Raver puts a curse on Lohman where a demon named the Lamia would harass her for three days before, well, dragging her to hell, naturally. And as dramatized in the prologue, this is definitely not something you want to partake in. Along for the rise I the surprisingly straight man Justin Long (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story) as Lohman loyal boyfriend who stays by her despite actually believing that she is being cursed and an eventful dinner with his parents who meet Lohman for the first time.

Drag Me to Hell might not be the scariest horror movie you will see (it is only PG-13) but for Raimi that is not the point as a full entertainment experience is what he wants to give you and that is what you get with this movie. And now that he has dipped his toe back in the genre, hopefully more adventures of Ash are not far behind.

Drag Me to Hell gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

The Way I See it, You’re Kind of Like You’re Car

Early in the movie Bart got a Room, Ashley Benson (who seems to where a cheerleader outfit more often than Hayden Panettiere) gives a monologue about the car that Steven Kaplan is driving her around in is just like Steve, not flashy but dependable. But Benson might as well been talking about the movie which may lack any flashy names but is at best watchable even if it falls flat at time.

Newcomer Kaplan is the lead of the movie despite not named Bart. It is the fact that even Bart got a room for after prom that makes Kaplan’s search for a date even urgent. Naturally underclassmen cheerleader Benson is at the top of the list but there are a few other opportunities Kaplan tries, including a blind date, in hopes of not getting stuck with going with his best friend, Alia Shawkat (Arrested Development), because, much like Bart, we wants to get a room and share it with someone and not just to play Scrabble with all night.

Making it harder for Kaplan is that both his recently divorced parents are doing better finding dates. Mom Cheryl Hines (Waitress) has gotten serious and is hoping a question gets asked soon. While dad, William H. Macy (Wild Hogs) has resigned to finding dates in chat rooms (not the kind Chris Hansen trolls, but real adult ones) with mixed result. Bart Got a Room is dependable for a few laughs but is prone to breaking down for short stretches throughout.

The DVD does get bonus points for including a Pop-Up Videos style commentary that is much more entertaining than standard audio commentaries.

Bart Got a Room gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Get Off My Lawn

I am very cautious when it comes to award winning and critically acclaimed movies. I am still bitter at checking out Crash after it garnered an Academy Award for best movie only for it to be the worst thing I have ever seen on film (naturally it ended winning the top honors that year). So I wasn’t quick to check out one of the most critically acclaimed movies of last year, Gran Torino. If fact the only reason why I did was because I had a free rental for Redbox, but there was some slim pickings, it was either that or An American Carol.

What the pretentious critics failed to mention in their reviews was how Gran Torino basically was the feel good racist movie, possibly not of just last years, but for all of the 00’s. Basically the movie was a hundred minutes of Clint Eastwood (Space Cowboys) spouting every racial slur you could think of, and even some I have never even heard before. I am not sure it was the intent of the movie to be so funny, but I laughed throughout.

Certainly the critics didn’t enjoy the movie for its possible humor but how the movie depicted urban plight and the artsy ending. As for the urban plight, the movie centers around Eastwood after the death of his wife stuck in Detroit with just his dog to keep him company after the middle class moved out of the city, including his sons who currently reside in McMansions with their disrespectful offspring, with minorities replacing them.

It is the Hmong neighbors that take a liking to him after standing up to local gang members that are harassing them. It is the daughter of the family (Ahneh Her in her first ever role and steals every scene she is in) that despite getting called ever name Eastwood can think of invites him over for a family cookout. Luckily for the viewers, he is out of beer and is promised that dog isn’t on the menu so he decides to take her up on the offer.

For anyone who gets upsets at getting called named, pay close attention to the scene where Eastwood takes the Hmong boy to his barber (played by Drew Carey’s cross-dressing brother). For those that don’t just sit back and enjoy the feel good racist movie of the decade.

Gran Torino gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Put Down Your Remote Control, Throw out Your TV Guide

Twenty years ago this month saw the release of one of the truly classic movies in cinematic history. No I am not refereeing to Batman, Ghostbusters II, Lethal Weapon 2 or even Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, all of which landed in the top ten grossing movies of that year. I am talking about a movie that may not have even cracked the top one hundred that year, but still manages to be inducted into the Scooter Hall of Fame: UHF starting and written by “Weird Al” Yankovic.

For a decade, Al had been putting smiles on our faces with his witty parodies of songs, so UHF seemed like a natural progression for Al to lampoon movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark (The Last Crusade was the highest grossing film of 1989), television like The Beverly Hillbillies and even commercials like Spatula City. Sadly the film did so poorly; the movie remains the only one he has ever written.

UHF is also noteworthy as it featured a relatively unknown actor named Michael Richards who would later that year get cast as Cosmo Kramer in Seinfeld. No word if Jerry saw UHF and decided to add the simple minded janitor turned children show host to his cast, but I will just go on living my life thinking so.

Naturally being a “Weird Al” vehicle, there was an accompanying album which featured the previously mentioned Beverly Hillbillies which was put to the tune of Money for Nothing by Dire Straits. Tone Loc got his own television twist with the Gilligan’s Island themed Isle Thing. There were even some of the ads from the movies that made it into the soundtrack like the trailer for the action flick Gandhi II. There was also the token food song with R.E.M.’s Stand being converted to Spam and the prerequisite polka set to Rolling Stone tunes.

You Don't Know Fear Kid, You've Never Worked with Sam Raimi

Bruce Campbell is a national treasure even if most of the nation doesn’t know who he is despite appearing in all three Spider-Man movies (granted he played three different characters). But he was part of my formative years thanks to Army of Darkness and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. Really, if the MTV Movie Awards were still hip and relevant, they would have giving him, or at the very least Ash, the Lifetime Achievement Award.

It is the cult like following that is the basis of My Name Is Bruce where Campbell plays the title character, himself. His exaggerated version of himself is a callow, egomaniacal hack who is hated by his co-workers, his ex-wife, and his agent (Ted Raimi in one of his three roles). The only people that don’t hate him are his legions of fans, but he’s working on alienating them too. But it is one zealous fan who just so happened to unleash the Chinese war deity Guan Di that figures the one person that could help him would be the star of Evil Dead and Maniac Cop 2.

But when the fan kidnaps Campbell, he goes along with it thinking it is an acting gig set up by his manager. And then the hilarity ensues. One drawback of My Name Is Bruce is the fake real life Bruce doesn’t exactly live up to the humor or wit of his onscreen version like Ash. And you wish for more catchphrases that you come to expect from Bruce characters. But this movie makes up for it in the terms of musical numbers and has plenty of in-jokes for the hard core Bruce fans and a few cameos from Evil Dead alums.

The big draw to the My Name Is Bruce DVD are the extra like the behind the scenes documentary that is almost as long as the movie itself. There is also a behind the scenes look at the movie within a movie that Bruce is filming, as well as a trailer for the fake flick included.

My Name Is Bruce gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.