Big News of the Week: The Writers Strike Continues: Yawn. As a wise man once said, “Wake me up when September ends.” Let’s move on to more interesting things.
Tapeworthy: Vance was guest blogging on another site and refreshed his current TV Top 10 List to introduce himself. After the TV bloggers strike, it was nice to see Pushing Daisies again to brighten up the day and to prove why the writers deserve better compensation in the first place. Finally, there were a lot of That Guy this week, on Bones, on House, from Gossip Girl to Heroes (which, has completely lost/confused Vance at this point) and the CBS comedies (the good ones with long names HIMYM and TBBT).
TiFaux: This week, TiFaux had more than a little Project Runway on the brain. After giving a preview of all the contestants, Dan gave a rundown on the first episode including thoughts on the contestants’ fascination with the celebrity of being on Project Runway. In other news, we plotted various male characters (from Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, Dirty Sexy Money, etc) on a chart based on their annoyingness and machismo.
Chuck: It bugs me to no end that they would ship off the extremely more entertaining Henry Tang to Hawaii yet let Morgan stick around. There is something to say that the minor characters are more entertaining than some of the main ones (Token Hot Chick and Jayne not included). Case in point, the best part of the episode (aside from the picture above of course) was when we learned that the Curly-looking Nerd Herder’s mom was in prison. And what was with the inclusion of the Brittany Spears song? Seriously, if you really, really wanted to use Toxic (get it? Because the episode was about toxins) why not use the semi-ironic version by Local H instead? And the preview hyped the biggest secret yet next week. Is there anyplace where I can buy Bryce Is Still Alive stock? This of course would solve my biggest complaint of the Pilot that Jayne would kill an un-armed CIA agent. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: This episode would have worked much better the first season when we didn’t know the characters very well. Aside from Barney and his catchphrases, the other character haven’t really done what they were accused of doing, but had they done it ealier when we didn’t know them very well, it would have been much less annoying that they would pull all these traits out of nowhere. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
Everybody Hates Chris: This week’s random black dude guest star who hasn’t been seen in at least a decade: Tommy Davidson. But I loved that Greg put on a Superman costume first to go to sleep as Clark Kent. Classic.
The Big Bang Theory: I loved how Sheldon made a huge speech about the princess stuff, goes on a date with her, and she ends up being an afterthought by the end of the episode. Then the Token Hot Chick making his virgin drink, “a little slutty” was just classic. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download or The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Heroes: After they flashed back I get a feeling that the writers didn’t know what was actually going on back then when they wrote the season premiere. Seriously, how does DL get shot with a gun aimed at his chest? If you are going to kill him off at least shoot him in the back so he can’t see the bullet coming. And are supposed to believe that with how methodical The Company is that they wouldn’t make sure their guests wouldn’t be able to talk to each other? And how was Nathan able to grow that bushy beard in two weeks? And of all the flashbacks, how is it we don’t get to see how Sylar goes from being stabbed to the middle of the jungle with the shape shifting chick? But when it comes down to it, seeing Kristen Bell make out with the dude with no acting ability was the most disturbing thing on television this year that hasn’t involved Chris Hansen confronting naked dudes in a kitchen. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Journeyman: Well that was a waste of Bo Duke. Of well. But I guess if you ask, you actually receive. Last week I said it was time for a big reveal, and Olivia is from the 1940’s and is traveling to the future is a big one, and definitely something I never saw coming. But this begs the question is current day Olivia still alive? I guess she would be in her eighties or nineties so it is plausible she still is. Now we just need to learn how the Dr. dude figured into this all. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.
Pushing Daisies: Maybe my favorite episode of the season so far. I would still like to see them do without the Ned’s childhood prologue ever week though. And seeing Jenny Wade as one of the wives made me wonder whatever happened to Project Greenlight, the second best reality show ever? With the strike looking like it will never end, how about getting thins back in production. Since the scripts would be coming from amateurs, you don’t have to worry about the WGA. Plus you get great television and possibly a watchable movie out of it. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.
Bionic Woman: Well I guess two decent episodes in a row is all we are going to get out of Bionic Woman. What really bugged me this week is how they switched the cinematography between your token slick sci-fi camera work with shaky, Friday Night Lights, zoom for close up expressions. Have they always done this and I have never notice before or was this the first time? Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
My Name Is Earl: Gotta love the movie trailer into. But this episode belonged to Joy trying to induce labor and Crabman who delivered the baby even after he got the induced labor drug. And surprise, even Michael Rappaport wasn’t as annoying as usual with him being mesmerized with Joy’s birth. Still, I hope he is in the Hole for the rest of Earl’s prison stay because I really could do without seeing him ever again. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Survivor: It was really annoying that last week during the promo they teased that something was going to happen after Tribal Council only for this episode to end with that tease. Some promo monkey needs to be fired for that. Especially since it will be two weeks until we finally see what is going to happen because next week’s Thanksgiving episode is a clip show. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.
Smallville: With all that is wrong with Heroes this season, I forgot to mention how it broke one of the three worst television clichés: amnesia. I bring this up because, for no real reason, Kara just happens to be transported to Michigan without any memory. Yawn.
Friday Night Lights: This show is the best at casting characters, from the lead roles to the extra to the guest stars, but what is with the English teacher and his hair? Don’t dudes like that get beaten down in Texas. What is worse is that Tammi, as a mother and a guidance councilor, didn’t call the dude out for being alone behind closed doors, breaking the number one cardinal rule for teachers, with her daughter. Hopefully the dude gets a newspaper job in Wisconsin next episode and is never seen again. At the very least can we get Chris Hansen down to Texas?
Thankfully the rest of the episode was vintage Friday Night Lights. From Tyra and Lyla teaming up to Coach being passive aggressive with Buddy again to Smash’s mom finally getting some quality screen time. And at least the lame teacher did led to a great scene when Coach complained his “No comment” was because he was behind the bathroom door. Check out the latest episodes over at NBC.com.
Rush’d: I’m a little backlogged on the online show for ABC Family’s Greek that is chronicling five fans as they compete for a walk on role on the show. But I thought I’d mention that voting starts tomorrow and goes until Friday. You can vote three times a day for your favorite. As I mentioned before, I’ll be rooting for fellow Ohioan Laura Wise, also known as White Cup. Below is a picture of her from the set with Frannie, who just happens to be my favorite character on Greek. And of course head over to Virtual Rush to vote for White Cup (or one of the other contestants if you choose so) and/or check out the latest episodes of Rush’d.
Next Week’s Pick: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Thursday at 9:00 AM on NBC: Now in it’s 81’s year, it is a Thanksgiving tradition for me to watch the festivities while getting things ready for the meal part of the day. Okay, this year’s guest list is less than stellar: Ashley Tisdale, Bindi and Terri Irwin, Corbin Bleu, Dolly Parton, Good Charlotte, Grandma from the Big Apple Circus, Jonas Brothers, Jordin Sparks, Kay Hanley, Lifehouse, Menudo, Michael Feinstein, Miss U.S.A. 2007 - Rachel Smith, Ne-Yo, Nikki Blonsky, Sarah Brightman, and Wynonna Judd. Seriously, Menudo? And should I even know who Tisdale, the Irwin’s, Blue, Grandma, the Jonas’ Sparks, Hanley, Blonsky, or Brighman are? But as long as there is a five story Garfield I’ll be happy.
Back in 1999 there were no two bigger acts than Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys. They had the top two selling albums that year along with two of the top five biggest singles. Britney was eventually showed up by Christina Aguilera who could actually sing while the Backstreet Boys were forgotten during the crappy pseudo-punk era of this decade. While most of the rest of their ilk have moved on to movies, Broadway, reality shows, or just obscurity, both Britney and the Boys are still trying to hang on to those late nineties hey-day by dropping albums today.
Blackout - Britney Spears
On a remix of Jadakiss’ Why, Common pondered, “Why they hype Britney up, they know she cant sing?” The simple answer was she could sell albums. Back when she was the number one pop princess she got the best songwriters, producers, and chorographer and elaborate stage shows. But all those people a currently working with the likes of Rihanna and the Pussycat Dolls. So instead of working with someone like Timbaland, Britney had to settle for a Timbaland lackey Nate Hills to help write and produce half of the songs on Blackout which come out sounding just a step above the Paris Hilton album. What’s worse if he starts speaking over Gimme More talking about how amazing Britney is. Who does he think he is, Puff Daddy? At least Diddy had a few actually hit under his belt before he pulled that stuff.
Without Max Martin or Diane Warren around, the lyrics are even worse than stale beats. E-Mail My Heart seems Dylanesque compared to some of the songs on Blackout. Piece of Me is Britney’s backlash at the press and paparazzi which would have been a little more meaningful had she actually had a hand in writing it. Hot as Ice, co-written by T-Pain, is just one cheesy metaphor after another. And yes she also mentions in the song that she is also “Cold as fire.” Then Get Naked (I Got a Plan) and Freakshow, where Britney inexplicably raps, will most likely be Exhibit U and V in Kevin Federline’s plan to get full custody.
The songs basically are just one bad techno track bleeding into each other which may work at a rave while on mind altering drugs, but for those of you that are sober, the album is as bad as you could expect. But at least Britney can in solace that it is better than her ex-husband’s. But not by much. Here is usually where I suggest a song to download but you are better off saving your money. Unless of course you are one of those annoying semi-ironic people, then go ahead and get the “It’s Britney (expletive deleted)” ringtone so you can be the biggest tool on your block.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Let’s just get this out of the way quick, the song sucks massively, the video looks like a fan video version they uploaded to YouTube until you see a couple bad wigs and realize it is the official video, and is Exhibit T that will keep her from ever having custody of her kids ever again. And to those that made Gimme More the number one song on iTunes for the last week; you are the reason why the terrorists hate us. Okay, let’s move on to real music.
Last year, Lupe Fiasco rode a wave of hype to the release of his debut album, Food and Liquor, which ended up as a let down. The flow was there but the beats were just too recycled to get mass appeal. Lupe finally lives up to the hype with the release of his new single Dumb it Down with a beat that sounds classic Neptunes and lyrics that definitely don't take the advise of the title. Hopefully the rest of the album, The Cool out December 18th, is more of the same. But as the video goes, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get cast as the corny white dude. Oh well.
Say what you want about the personal life of Amy Winehouse while office pools across the nation bet on what month she will kick the bucket (I got March 2011), but the music is scandal proof. This song, built around Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, is just another instant classic from her album. The video is surprisingly dull considering it was directed by David LaChapelle.
For those of you wondering who will be next in the line of British songstress to take America by storm but without the threat of not reaching the age of thirty, look no further than Kate Nash. Nash, much like Lily Allen and Winehouse before her conquered her native country before anyone state stateside, but unlike the two doesn’t have Mark Ronson creating Motown inspired backing tracks for instead going with a Regina Spektor influenced piano based sound, but she still retains Allen’s attitude. But we will have to wait until early next year before we get the whole album stateside.
Remember the catchphrase from what I think was the eighth installment of the Lethal Weapon franchise when Danny Glover (or was it Mel Gibson) said, “I’m getting too old for this (expletive deleted)!” Well that is how I have felt after ever Video Music Awards since, um, when was the last time Chris Rock hosted? But I thought this year was different when the show was announced thanks to scheduled performers Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse. Apparently MTV got word of this and since they have been trying very hard to keep anyone that is actually older than they are, both ended up not being able to make it to the show.
And so went the interest as most anyone who isn’t a fourteen year old white girl that still thinks Fall Out Boy are cool. But in the end I guess it is good that neither made it because they probably would have just been relegated to singing for thirty second with Mark Ronson before MTV cut to commercial. Seriously, if I wanted to hear less than a minute of a song I’d watch TRL. Eighteen different acts were featured but only five get to perform a full song. Why bother? Apparently you can watch all the suite performances at MTV.com but you might as well wait until someone rips the best to mp3. Here are some other thoughts on the show:
- We start off with the fairly worthless pre-show where they roll out John Norris again. Did this guy sign some sort of life-long contract? MTV has a stricter age limit than Menoudo yet he still gets rolled out every year with his boyband circa 1999 haircut. And there is something to say that even though T.I. was in the building, he didn’t bother to show up for the chick from the Pussycat Dolls performance, who relied heavily on guided vocals, even though he appeared on the song.
- The big show started of with the much hyped Britney Spears performance and despite with expectations were so low she could walk over the bar, she still found a way to slither under it. Now I have never watched America’s Got Talent, but her performance is what I would imagine what a Britney impersonator’s that was let on the show just so the Hoff would have something to laugh at would look like. She didn’t bother to lip-sync half the time and was a half to full step behind her back up dancers half the time and looked lost half the time. But I guess it would be hard to remember the steps and to move your lips when you spent three minutes trying to hold in your gut. Note to Britney: fat people don’t walk around in their bra and panties. Yeah you could have pull that look off thirty pounds ago but you now either need to put some clothes on or work in a thousand sit ups a day.
- MTV seriously dropped the ball with the opening. They usher out a train wreck that hasn’t been musically relevant for half a decade for an embarrassing performance when they should have convinced Vanessa Hudgens open the show asking the crowd, “heard any good jokes lately?” (Thanks to everyone who pointed out why people she all the sudden became the most popular search to the 9th Green). Everyone would have talked around the watercooler today how great the opening was instead of how horrible it was. Well actually most of the watercooler talk today was, “wait, the VMA’s were last night?”
- Apparently MTV had a contingency plan in case the Brittney performance died like it did with Sarah Silverman coming out to make fun of her. Granted the best line was, “that’s not nice calling Madonna a python” as well as her backhanded comments to Paris Hilton who once again tried to look upset before breaking out laughing.
- Rihanna wins the Monster Single of the Year as well as the monster cleavage of the year award.
- Jennifer Hundson (as Alicia Keys calls her) comes out to give the most worthless award of the night, the quadruple threat award. Since when is having a clothing line a threat?
- Holy Pat Smear sighting!
- Kanye West and 50 Cent come out to hype their release date. I have said this before and I will say it again, for the love of hip-hop be sure to pick up Graduation this week so 50 retires for coming in second. Anyone find it interesting that no one even mentions Kenny Chesney who has a legitimate chance to outsell either of the rappers. Don’t underestimate the buying power of hillbillies. But any ways. Be sure to look out for my Kanye review tomorrow and 50 on Wednesday.
- Forty-five minutes into the award show and we get our first full performance by Chris Brown who did a much better job lip-syncing that Britney. But that really say much about it. But is does say something that Rihanna stole the show from him.
- Justin Timberlake’s music sucks massively and acts like a complete tool ninety-five percent of the time but I like his blast at MTV and their reality programming while accepting an award from The Hills (but I’d like to state for the record that I would definitely stand underneath the brunette’s umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh). But then lost points when saying that The Simpsons were part of MTV’s reality programming.
- Seriously, Cee-Lo singing Prince while being backed by the Foo Fighters only gets thirty seconds of airtime?
- I must take this time to apologize to CBS for creating the most appalling reality show ever with Kids Nation. I didn’t realize MTV would counter with A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila (whoever that is), your token Bachelor rip-off but with sixteen lesbians and straight dudes. But there is something to say that both channels are owned by the same company (keep in mind this is also the same company that axed Veronica Mars).
- Are we really supposed to believe Shia LeBeouf didn’t really have express written consent to reveal the new Indiana Jones title (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). That is just insulting our intelligence.
- Who keeps inviting Pamela Anderson to these things? She and Carmen Electra should be well into their begging to get on the Surreal Life point in their life but somehow they still get on big name events. What’s worst is supposedly she is the reason for the most interesting thing that happened all night (Kid Rock sucker punching Tommy Lee) and MTV didn’t even bother to air it.
- Speaking of overrated chicks, Megan Fox may be one of the few people that rival Anderson in that category. She announces Timbaland who does some weird thing before tossing it to Linkin Park. What was that? Why even bother? Why not just have Fox toss to Linkin Park. Timbaland is just completely worthless.
- During the pre-show Rihanna mentioned she was going to rock out tonight and I thought maybe she would be backed by New Order (Shut Up and Drive samples Blue Monday), but now it is just Fall Out Boy who just took home Best Group. Yawn.
- Alicia Keys adds some class to program even if she was wearing that looked like Olivia Newton-John combined her wardrobe from the final scene from Grease and the Physical video. The new song was decent, but I’m not sure where I come down on Freedom ’90. I was hoping that maybe she would bring out George Michaels but alas no.
- Jamie Foxx comes out to show everyone how much he has had to drink while in Vegas then shuts ups just long enough for Jennifer Garner announce the Best New Award as Gym Class Fallout. Yeah, that seems just about right.
- MTV then rolls out a week old joke that really wasn’t that funny a week ago in the Miss Teen South Carolina who flubs while pretending to flubs. Nice. At least she gave the Wu-Tang Clan a shout out.
- The big surprise guest of the night is Dr. Dre (who is disturbingly showing his age). No he didn’t perform or even receive a Lifetime Achievement Award or anything interesting, no he is just relegated to handing out Video of the Year to Rihanna.
- The show ends with Nelly Furtado, Timberlake and Timbaland each performing a verse from their latest song before getting together as the song they did together start only for the track to stop so abruptly that Timbaland had to inform everyone five seconds later that that’s the end of the show. How apropos of an end.
- I’m really getting too old for this (expletive deleted).
There is no more appropriate time for Kevin Federline to release an album than on Halloween. But instead of writing up a proper review, here is a video that best sums up Playing with Fire (replay five times for proper effect):
Many thanks to Best Week Ever for creating the clip but many apologies to U2 for having their great song tarnished by Federline. But in all seriousness, Playing with Fire sounds much like almost every other rap album released by a Jay-Z wannabe in the past seven years. Mediocre to poor rapping: check. Anemic beats: check. Pop singer providing the hook: check in form of wife Britney Spears. Braggadocios topics ranging from all the bling he has to being a pimp: check. To Federline’s credit he did avoid one of the worst rap album clichés in that there are very few guest appearances and it is pretty much just him rapping on the album. And even though the album is bad, at least it’s not Paris Hilton bad (see my review: Since I'm Already Screwed Here's a Message to You).
Song to Download - Just replay the video one more time
It seems as the years go by the music on the radio gets worse and worse. Even though I severely limited my radio listening this year thanks to my iPod and my custom made radio station on yahoo (check out the side bar if you give it a listen), every once I’d tune in just to see if they started playing anything good, and the resounding answer was no. Before I list the overplayed crap, I would make special note of Kevin Federline who released a song to the internet that I heard pieces of because I’m sure had I heard it in it’s entirely it or new its name would have made this list. And to Kevin, I’m pretty sure everyone will hate a lot longer than 2008. Now here are the worst forty songs the corroded the air worse than any Hummer could and in honor of the top 40 radio stations that have ruined radio even though I bet playlists are down to 25-30 these day (Feel free to leave the songs that really irritated you this year in the comment section):
![Terror Alert Level: Low [GREEN]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV5jUNMqnrEt-A-laO7HQcvH_2mssvEmU-3Ljc21QB95bE8gBS-ozxxmgUMEDQnUAPq4VYFmBlF5RIkGoiRjdCR8euNAtMTAaPmay8ZF4Lg3LY4TNqjAOq_3qDmalmC9AxLMIoVw/s400/small_low.png)
on my 
