It has been a while since I have read Revelations but I am pretty certain one of the signs of the apocalypse happened this past week and how appropriate in these days and times it can be viewed on YouTube:
Yes that is Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in a political ad. When I first saw this I thought I was watching a Daily Show produced campaigned ad but no, it is from John McCain and he approved that message. Sadly this isn’t the first time with has crossed politics as Britney appeared in a Pepsi commercial with Bob Dole and four years ago Paris was seen sporting a “Vote or Die” t-shirt, but didn’t promptly die after not actually registering to vote. And if that wasn’t enough for McCain, he later released an ad with Moses, or at least Moses to gun nuts, Charlton Heston;
Now here is a smart ad. If I were running the McCain campaign I would be going around, “Yeah because the last time we elected a drug addict with no experience and a God complex, that ended well.” And Friday Obama suggested a $500 energy rebate, because the last time a president gave us a rebate, that really helped the economy.
McCain wasn’t the only one with a silly brush with pop culture as Obama had yet another rapper write a song for him:
Naturally Barack distanced himself from the song calling it, “Outrageously offensive” with his spokesmen adding, “As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism and degrading images that he doesn’t want his daughters or any children exposed to.” This then begs the question why is Ludacris on Obama’s iPod to begin with if he truly believes this because almost all of Luda’s songs have misogyny, materialism or degrading images and some have all three. This is the guy who wrote Move (Expletive Deleted), (Expletive Deleted) Poppin, and written such profound lyrics as, “How you ain’t gonna (expletive deleted), (expletive deleted) I’m me,” “Stop, drop, kaboom, baby rub on your (expletive deleted),” “If you hold the (expletive deleted) stead Imma milk the cow.” And let us not forget that this was the guy who proclaimed he’s “got (expletive deleted) in different area codes.”
All this from a guy Obama has called “extremely talented.” Although shouldn’t someone who is “extremely talented come up with a line better than, “McCain don’t belong in any chair unless he’s paralyzed.” Seriously, what does that even mean? Couldn’t he come up with a better insult than that? But, yeah, George Bush is mentally retarded.
All this ties into the theory that this election will disturbingly be decided by the so called “Low Information Voters” and you really don’t get much lower on the information ladder than from people who dress up an attend Comic Con. Of course the people behind the Obama Girl videos were there to take an informal poll.
Interestingly enough the comic book nerds seem to be leaning Republican who lends some credence that The Dark Knight is a euphemism for the Iraq War with Batman doing his best George Bush impression. And yes, this election will be decided by people like the chick who said McCain but changed only because her friend said Obama. It is really time to bring back the IQ test before letting people vote.
Amongst all that low info crap, I was surprised to see someone actually talk about education this week for the first time in this presidential campaign. Keep in mind it Obama wrapped up his nomination in early June. I guess at that rate we will only hear about education one more time before the election. But anyways. Head over to MSNBC.com to read McCain Criticizes Obama over Education Policies.
MTV Award shows usually are as good as their host so I was a little skeptical when it was announced that Jessica Alba was hosting thinking back to the Lindsay Lohan Dance Off debacle of last year. Or was it two years ago; was there a Jimmy Fallon bombfest in between? And that in lies the problem, there hasn’t been a memorable Movie Awards host since Jack Black and Sarah Michelle Gellar hooked up. Here’s a look at this year’s festivities:
- First we have to start off with the obligatory pre-show this time with guest reporters Rihanna and the dude from Fall Out Boy. And for those who think Rihanna sounds extremely bored when she’s sing, she was even more anemic while talking. As for Fall Out Boy, yeah Sugar We’re Going Down is catchy, but I’m totally over them since making the Michael Jackson sized video. Now it’s time for them to go to the pseudo-punk where all the other band of the like have gone after minimal success. Say hi to Good Charlotte while you’re there boys.
- Christina Aguilera announced her next album is going to be a double-album. Great that means twice as much music for me to ignore. Seriously, if I wanted to listen to jazz music, I’d break out my Ella Fitzgerald album; you really need to go back to coy pop double entendre like Genie in a Bottle.
- Not to be outdone by sports programs that have sponsored everything out except the National Anthem, the MTV Awards, instead of a Green Room, have the Neutrogena Amber Room. I shouldn’t mock too much because coming soon to the 9th Green is the Adidas Lyrics Quiz and the Scooter Hall of Fame brought to you by Heineken.
- Also seen multiple times of the blue carpet was Joe Simpson. Dude must have incriminating photo’s of very powerful people because I can’t understand how him and his daughters have stayed in the spotlight for so long.
- And now on to the big show with what I believe was a Mission Impossible 3 spoof (I only know this because its theme music played at the end). I have no clue why Topher Grace was there, but the whole bit was saved by Flavor Flav. I really can’t wait until the inevitable second edition of Flavor of Love.
- Luckily we are spared from an Alba monologue by Andy Sanburg as Mr. Google in a funny bit. Here’s a wild idea, why didn’t they have Mr. Lazy Sunday co-host the show? Or Dane Cook? Or any comedian not named Jimmy Fallon? Really, if I wanted to stare at Jessica Alba, I could have just googled her like the bit suggested.
- Another reason why the award show has gone downhill, instead of randomly picking presenters for comic effect (think Busta Rhymes and Martha Stewart) they resort to just putting together from the same upcoming movie much like having the cast of Superman Returns present Best Hero. Hopefully the verbal beat down Batman gave to Superman during his acceptance speech may lead to the much rumored Superman vs. Batman movie.
- For Best Kiss, Justin Timberlake routinely repeats the phrase “ranch hand jobs.” Yeah, that should really help stop those pesky gay rumors.
- Crap, a Jimmy Fallon sighting. And it’s for parody of yet another movie I haven’t seen, The Da Vinci Code. And what Movie Awards wouldn’t be complete without an Andy Dick sighting. And that begs the question, Where’s Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn?
- Should I know who Borat is? But anyways. The dude is out to present the highlight of the night (asides from Flavor Flav), Gnarls Barkley who were in full Star Wars gear with Chewbacca on drums. Classic. Between this performance and the uber catch Crazy, Cee-Lo is almost forgiven for raising a daughter who got her own My Super Sweet 16 episode (um, not that I watch that show or anything). In fact the song is so good, I may start my own cover band, Gnawn Bradley. And the Barkley karma was so good, Darth Vader promptly wins best villain.
- Alba wins the Sexiest Award and thanks all the perverts out there. Um, you’re welcome, I guess.
- It’s nice to hear The J. Geils Band back on MTV to accompany Adam Sandler out. He’s out to present the Best Performance, with his Click co-star of course. I really don’t like these new serious awards MTV are heading to. But the award went to the dude from Bubble Boy, so how credible can the award be?
- Aside from Alba in her underwear, the King Kong parody was a waste of time. Stay away from comedy Jessica and stick to, um, well, um, yeah, um, never mind.
- Christina Aguilera is out next as she looks more and more like a drag queen every day. C’mon, take out the fake breasts, stop putting stuff in your hair, lay off the excessive makeup, and return to asking me to rub you the right way.
- Speaking of shameless plug, Will Ferrell is out to run down the long list of sponsors in addition to those already on his jumpsuit. Not nearly as funny as the scene from Wayne’s World, in fact it wasn’t funny at all. And did anyone notice the blatant cut during his thing? But anyways. Ferrell is out to present Best Comedic Performance and apparently the Wedding Chashers duo split their votes because that’s the only way Steve Carell could win.
- The Silver Bucket of Excellence was awarded to Do the Right Thing. Again with the seriousness. Please stop. Remember the good old days when they gave these awards to Shaft?
- Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are teaming up again. Yawn.
- Thank goodness for the AFI performance because it gave me a chance to check out the end of the Astros game on TBS. Whoever suggested this band should be fired. Doesn’t the Red Hot Chili Peppers have an album to promote?
- Chris “Ludacris” Bridges I up next. Why does the rapper insist on using his real name for acting purposes? You don’t the clock dude going around calling himself William “Flavor Flav” Drayton, you don’t see Ice-T’s real name in the credits for Law and Order.
- Next up is the first ever MTV Generations Award given to Jim Carrey. Remember the good ol’ days when Carrey and Sandler won Best Comedic Performance every year? Those were good time. It’s interesting during his retrospective, they didn’t bleep out “There’s a lot of fine looking pussy here tonight” yet they did back when he originally uttered the line. Of course that was back in the day they were still banning the word “pimp” and now they even have a show with it in its title. Wow, I feel old now.
- Instead of the first time filmmaker award, we now get the student filmmaker award which was heavily edited. I give it two years before it’s edited out of the whole program like its predecessor.
- Sam Jackson is out to present the granddaddy of them all, Best Picture. But before he hands that off to Wedding Crashers, he gives a shameless plug to his latest film, Snakes on a Plane. Normally I go off on things like this, but since it’s Sam Jackson promoting something as silly as Snakes on a Plane, I’ll let it slide. Plus I was laughing the whole time epecially when he hints at the sequil, More Mother(Expletive Deleted)ing Snakes on Another Mother(Expletive Deleted)ing Plane.
As a whole, the awards were another borefest, but if you are interested in watching it, not only can you wait for MTV to repeated ad nausea, you can watch individual segments on their broadband channel, Overdrive. I highly suggest the Flavor Flav bit and the Gnarls Barkley performance and skip the rest.
Now for something unrelated to the awards but under the rule of ask and you shall receive, Annie asked for more “Weird Al” Yankovic, and it just so happens that Al is offering up his latest parody, You’re Pitiful on his website (click his name). So if you are a fan of Al or just hate James Blunt (yep it’s a parody of You’re Beautiful), this is a must download. I personally love the beginning of the song.
Much like the station’s other marquee awards show, the MTV Movie Awards has been in a creative downswing this decade. But unlike the VMA’s, it’s easy to pinpoint were the Movie Awards went wrong, that is when MTV started making movies of there own and the awards show became more of a promotional vehicle for them and nominating movies that don’t deserve it, case in point this year, Dukes of Hazzard. It was a critical and commercial flop yet it garnished multiple nods. The show can save itself with a good host (one hadn’t been named of this post) and a couple good Vince Vaughn skits, but I won’t be holding my breathe, yet I still be watching on June 8th like the MTV lapdog that I am. No musical guest announced yet, but you can vote here. Interestingly enough, there are no gender specific categories this year, which means fewer time spent on handing out awards, and that’s always a good thing. Now on to the nominees:
Who Will Win: King Kong Who I Voted For: Wedding Crashers
This comes down to which group of nerds will spend the most time voting. The comic book nerds will split their vote between Batman and Sin City, but in the end the Peter Jackson nerd will overpower the lives with his parents nerd to win. Too bad there isn’t a write in vote for the Lucas nerd. As the agro-pseudo-frat boy, I went with the dumb comedy. Oddly enough no chick flicks considering MTV is now run by fourteen year old girls.
BEST PERFORMANCE Joaquin Phoenix - Walk the Line Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain Rachel McAdams - Red Eye Steve Carell - The 40-Year Old Virgin Terrence Howard - Hustle and Flow Reese Witherspoon - Walk the Line
Who Will Win: Jake Gyllenhall Who I Voted For: Rachel McAdams
The hardest catergory and weirdest considering Gyllenhall got the nod over Heath Ledger while both Cash’s got one. McAdams is the dark horse because she did sweep the awards last year and her performance here was better than those movies.
BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE Owen Wilson - Wedding Crashers Adam Sandler - The Longest Yard Steve Carell - The 40-Year Old Virgin Tyler Perry - Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion Vince Vaughn - Wedding Crashers
Who Will Win: Steve Carell Who I Voted For: Vince Vaughn
Sadly Wilson will steal Vaughn’s vote leaving the less funny Carell with the popcorn. Remember when only Sandler or Jim Carey won this award? Ah, the good ol’ days.
BEST ON-SCREEN TEAM Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen & Romany Malco - The 40-Year Old Virgin Johnny Knoxville, Seann William Scott & Jessica Simpson - The Dukes of Hazzard Jessica Alba, Ioan Gruffudd, Chris Evans & Michael Chiklis - Fantastic Four Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson & Rupert Grint - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson - Wedding Crashers
Who Will Win: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Who I Voted For: Wedding Crashers
This category really need to be retired but won’t because it mean more nominations for real actors while better categories like Best Action Sequence and Best CGI Character get dumped.
Who Will Win: Tobin Bell Who I Voted For: Cillian Murphy
They totally got this catergory messed up; they have the right actors, but wrong movies. Fiennes should have gotten the nod for Batman Begins because Murphy’s was basically just a bit role and was much scarier in Red Eye and my vote was more for that movie than Batman. Oh and this category is brought to you by The DaVinci Code. No seriously, it is. Almost as silly as he Neutrogena Best Hero Award
BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE Andre “3000” Benjamin - Four Brothers Isla Fisher - Wedding Crashers Nelly - The Longest Yard Jennifer Carpenter - The Exorcism of Emily Rose Romany Malco - The 40-Year Old Virgin Taraji P. Henson - Hustle & Flow
Who Will Win: Andre “3000” Benjamin Who I Voted For: Isla Fisher
Imagine how worst this category would have been if it was still two gender specific ones. As is, it’s still a toss up between people we will forget about by next year, that if you even know who they are now.
BEST HERO Christian Bale - Batman Begins Jessica Alba - Fantastic Four Daniel Radcliffe - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Kate Beckinsale - Underworld: Evolution Ewan McGregor - Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Who Will Win: Christian Bale Who I Voted For: Ewan McGregor
I still hold an outside theory that people will vote for Jessica Alba solely because she’s Jessica Alba, but Batman will be hard to beat no matter who’s under the mask.
Who Will Win: Jessica Alba Who I Voted For: Jessica Alba
This is basically a no contest. If Alba doesn’t win it meand this is fixed worse than a Don King fight.
BEST FIGHT Kong vs. the Planes - King Kong Stephen Chow vs. Axe Gang - Kung Fu Hustle Angelina Jolie vs. Brad Pitt - Mr. and Mrs. Smith Ewan McGregor vs. Hayden Christensen - Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Who Will Win: Revenge of the Sith Who I Voted For: Revenge of the Sith
This is a toss up between Star Wars and Kong, but where Kong has already been done and the lava fight definitely live up to the hype and almost made up for the rest of the sequels.
BEST KISS Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain Taraji P. Henson & Terrence Howard - Hustle & Flow Anna Faris & Chris Marquette - Just Friends Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt - Mr. & Mrs. Smith Rosario Dawson & Clive Owen - Sin City
Who Will Win: Mr. & Mrs. Smith Who I Voted For: Sin City
Nothing like tabloid fodder to help fuel a win, not that there is much competition in this field. The only real composition in here is the gay cowboy movie, but the comic book nerds that tend to rule the voting process probably aren’t that open minded.
Who Will Win: Dakota Fanning Who I Voted For: Rachel Nichols
This is really disturbing as I though Hilton was descending from the pop culture lexicon, yet here she is with an acting nomination. Unless it is for Best Inanimate Object, she should be nominated for anything. And since it’s expected of me, I’ll go ahead and say it, that Hilton girl gives me nightmare. There, happy? Not so coincidentally, I think House of Wax was produced by MTV. Anyways I think Fanning won last year, but I indeed went with the hottest chick here. Where is Rachel McAdams anyways?
The new Batman movie, the first since Joel Schumacher ruined the franchise eight years ago, can basically be divided into two separate movies. The first part plays out almost like an episode of Lost, unfortunately of the second season variety, where Bruce Wayne finds himself in the Himalaya region where he is recruited by, Henri Ducard played by Liam Neeson in full Qui-Gon Jinn mode with Wayne as his apprentice, to join his League of Shadows. And the training sessions, with its clichéd metaphors, are peppered with a younger Bruce Wayne, showing what in his life led him to this point. These flashbacks also lead to some revisionist flashbacks most notable that The Joker was not the one who killed Wayne’s parents nor did the killer even mutter the phrase, “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
The first act is saved by the closing fight sequence between Wayne and the villain of the first half of the film, Ra’s Al Ghul played by Ken Watanabe from The Last Samurai. It seems as if Ken was cast solely for the fight sequence because his role is quite limited in the movie.
After his exile in Tibet, Wayne finally arrives back in Gotham to start the second act. It starts out slowly as Wanye starts to create his Batman alter ego with Batsuit, which we don’t get to see until an hour into the movie, and Batmobile, which is now a tank rather than the classic sports car from past incarnations of the franchise. The villain of the second act is one of my favorite from the Batman mythology, the Scarecrow, second after the Penguin. But much like how the ruined the Penguin in Batman Returns, the Scarecrow is usually seen as his alter ego, Dr. Jonathan Crane, both played by Cillian Murphy, no relation tom Eddie or Charlie, and his only rarely puts the mask on. And when he permanently turns into the Scarecrow, he only makes a small cameo in the final epic battle.
In the final battle, they tie in both first and second acts well including a plot twist that I never saw coming. The acting is top notch, but that happens when your supporting cast includes Neeson, Watanabe, Micheal Caine as Alfred, Morgan Feeman as scientist Lucius Fox, and Gary Oldman as not quite yet Commissioner Gordon. Christian Bale, who I will always remember as the title character from American Psycho, is Bruce Wayne, which he does a good job at. But, like his predecessors, I really don’t think he does a god job as Batman. Katie Holmes, most known as Tom Cruise’s latest promotional tool, plays the token love interest who, like all of Batman's love interest not named Catwoman, is one-dimentional.
Since I divided the film into two acts, I would give the first act a TA:Elevated while the second act would get a TA:Severe, and as a whole:
Typically the best award show, MTV Movie Awards was last night. But could it overcome the horribly unfunny Jimmy Fallon? First, let me judge the commercials that led up to the show. First there was the Chewbacca one, not so funny as I could care less about celebrity coupling. Then there was the Maria Full of Grace short. This was I actually did find funny but I have a feeling that 95% of the MTV demographic have never even heard of the movie. But when it comes down to it, neither were as funny as the one Fallon did a couple years back for the VMA’s when he said “You would make out with me in front of my doorman when I said ‘This is Natalie Portman from Star Wars, what to watch me make out with her?’”
Then we had to sit through the pre-show which was a half of hour of watching Nicole Richie and Fat Joe (and fat is being nice, he should be known as Morbidly Obese Joe) hit on the people they were supposed to be interviewing. I’m so glad to arrive early for that.
There were three shorts throughout the night. The show opened with one of the worst ones of all time with the unfunny Jimmy Fallon being picked up by Batman who turns out to be some one who is somehow not even funnier than Fallon, Napoleon Dynamite. The skit didn’t make sense because, like everyone else, I haven’t seen Batman Begins. Next we have the Star Wars parody. Again not funny, maybe because they were making light of the darkest scenes in Star Wars history. Last we have the Fallon-free Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson sketch. Not their best work bust still funnier than anything Fallon did all night.
As for the musically performances, we start of with Eminem doing what he does best, making fun of pop stars, then transitions into a medley of two of his worst songs ever. Is this guy seriously in his thirties? I have no comment of Mariah Carey’s performance as I switched over to watch Vanilla Ice’s performance on Hit Me Baby One More Time. Then we get a special performance by Yellowcard during The Breakfast Club tribute. Can we pass a law forbidding them from ever singing Don’t You (Forget About Me) ever again please? And while we're at it, can we please ban all "punk" bands that sound more like the Backstreet Boys than The Clash? The last performance is by the Foo Fighters who are basically a hit-or-miss band. I have to say that song was a miss.
One band we didn’t see was Nine Inch Nails who pulled out after MTV found a picture of George Bush to be too offensive. So let me get this straight, Jackass – Not offensive; Letting Jimmy Fallon fondle Sandra Bullock – not offensive; Having Eminem perform as song where he obsesses over an under aged girl’s butt – Not offensive; Picture of George Bush - Offensive. Um, OK, if you say so.
We also get two new special awards as it seems that the Lifetime Achievement Award and Best New Director Award are no longer as we now get the some sort of “Generation Award” for Tom Cruise. They really got rid of the Lifetime Achievement Award for this? Did MTV just create this award so they could have a reason to have Katie Holmes and Cruise on the stage at the same time? Then the cast of The Breakfast Club were apparently awarded the Stanly Cup. I’m sure the hockey fans were glad to finally se it again. Maybe I’m too young, but I never got the appeal of the movie or any John Hughes’ movie. I guess you had to be in high school in the eighties or a girl to appreciate them. And lets be honest, the only reason why this movie got the award was because they wouldn’t be able to get Sean Penn, Nicholas Cage, and Jennifer Jason Lee to get back together for a Fast Times reunion.
As for my predictions (If You Can Dodge a Wrench, You Can Dodge a Ball) I voted for a measly four of the fourteen awards. I didn’t do much well predicating as I only got six correct. Looking at the winner’s list, it looks like I severely overestimated the nerd population. I thought they would come out and have Spiderman 2 sweep the awards they were up for. Instead the D&D crowd instead voted for their own personal bio-flick Napoleon Dynamite. I already stated my conspiracy theory about Napoleon being produced by MTV studios, so I won’t go into that again. Funniest acceptation surprisingly goes to the biggest surprise winner, Dustin Hoffman (seriously, does anyone who watches MTV see Meet the Fockers?), who rightfully put Eminem in his place. As for the most boring speech, that goes to Lindsay Lohan who warns us to watch out for the paparazzi. Um, OK, thanks for the tip. Granted the only reason she won was because most of the votes were taken before her magical disappearing breast trick, otherwise Rachel McAdams, who is pretty hot for a Canadian, would have made it a clean sweep for the night. While I’m talking about The Notebook I finally got a look at the dude from The Notebook, the dude everyone was comparing me to this winter, for the first time, and I see no resemblance. Not to mention, sadly no one who looks like Rachel McAdams had jumped on me during that time. Oh well.
For those keeping track, that would be three bland MTV Awards shows in a row. Here’s a suggestion to MTV, through tons of money at Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle for this year’s VMA’s.
From the start pre-show until the end of American Dad and everything in-between, this was the worst super bowl that I can remember. Thanks Janet. Here's a running tally of everything that happened yesterday.
Pre-Show
Seeing Charlie Daniels dancing with the Black Eyed Peas was possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. Nonetheless, Black Eyed Peas have performed at every event in the last 2 years. Super Bowl, Awards Show, Democratic National Convention. (There a many reasons why Kerry lost the election, but I would put having a group perform "Lets Get Retarded" "Lets Get it Started" has to be near the top.)
Alicia Keys was one of the few bright spots all day. Then again, it seems she can't do any wrong. Well barring hanging out with Usher. It was too bad Ray Charles couldn't be them himself because he always did do a great version on "America the Beautiful." I would highly recommend "Ray Charles Sings for America" if you don't have it already.
OK back to the bad stuff. Did anyone else notice that the coin "flip" didn't actually flip at all? I don't know if that kid didn't know how to flip a coin or if was trying to rig the outcome. It's time to bring back the legends to do the flipping.
The Game
I'm not going to restate the reasons why I don't think Belachick is not a genius, but I'd like to add that he went to the wrong bench to start the game. How does anyone lose to this guy? I'd resign in shame if I were Andy Reid. The real test of Belachick's "wisdom" will be next year when both coordinators are gone. By the way, Romeo Crennel meet Jeff Garcia. Have fun next year.
Did anyone find the irony in T.O. being guarded by some one named Randle Gay? But you have to give it up to T.O. for putting up triple digit yards, even if most of his catches were short out patterns. Although for a guy who once said if you don't want to see me celebrate, keep me out of the end zone, he did seem to break out the eagle flap about 30 yards away from said end zone. Which then led to Mike Vrabel to mocking him. Twice. This seems to be a start of a trend. If you remember 3 weeks ago, FredEx (the only time you will see his name) did the reverse moon twice. Doesn't this count as excessive celebration? But back to T.O., can you imagine what would happen if T.O. was 100%. Well, most likely, McNabb would have underthown him. Worst. Super Bowl performance. Ever. Three interceptions, not to mention one that was called back due to a penalty away from the play, and a fumble that was called back due to instant replay. Ouch. And as bad as McNabb was, the Eagles only lost by three.
Halftime
Paul McCartney is your anti-Janet this year perform good wholesome Beatles songs about illegal drugs. When I first saw McCartney going to the piano, I thought, "Oh, no, it's the obligatory ten minute version of Hey Jude," but was instead saved but "Live and Let Die" (which I believe he stole from Guns 'n' Roses). Another great message. Then it finally came, the obligatory ten minute version of "Hey Jude." I remember seeing McCartney doing this song on SNL once I swear at one point during the NaNaNa's he went, "OK 5 more times." Um, yeah, bathroom break time. At least this year's Super Bowl alleviated the major problems that have been plaguing most halftime shows, having someone perform than no one in the stand would enjoy. Sports fans tend to be middle aged white guys, so a former Beatle was a good choice. Do you think anyone who was at or watched the Orange Bowl listens to Ashlee Simpson? The problem with most halftime shows is they try to bring in a TV audience that would not normally watch the game itself. And that, in turn, is why most of them get booed. That and Ashlee Simpson is tone def. On another musically not "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" was not the best choice for a theme song. Although it wasn't the most out of place that song has been played this year. That award would go to the Clinton Library Opening.
Commercials
Here's my top 5:
5) Diet Pepsi (P.Diddy) - Nice social commentary on how people will do anything copy anything to be cool. Bonus points for putting the youngest Desperate Housewives in the spot. it is also interesting that that "Pimp My Ride's" own Xzibit has no problem selling himself for money. Honorable Mention for there other ad with the guy waking down the street turning every women's head including Cindy Crawford and one of the Queer Guys. 4) Mustang Convertible - If I had a convertible, I'd have it down at all times too. While I'm talking about car, I can't remember which one is was but why did some car maker drop 2.4 million on a car that doesn't come out until the end of 2005. Buzz doesn’t last that long as proven by how I can't even remember it's name. 3) NFL Network (Everyone is undefeated tomorrow) - One of the best sports ideas ever. Unfortunately it won't take the Brown's too long change that. My only problem is that I only recognized 3 people in the ad, Joe Montana, Ben Rothhngfhnkslflituebuger, and Dante Cullpepper, whom I only recognized him because he was singing with a Viking. 2) SBC (Wonderful Tonight) - Anyone who has had to wait an hour for a girl to get dressed can relate to this ad. 1) MBNA Credit Card - Charlie Daniels dancing with Black Eyed Peas, disturbing. Gladys Knight playing rugby, freaking hilarious.
Sadly it wasn't too hard to come up with this list because most of the ads were boring or just lame (LeBron, I’m taking to you). Seriously, two companies picked M.C. Hammer as their spokesmen. For those keeping track $4.8 million were spent on the selling power of M.C. Hammer. One ad even pointed out his poor money management. Did no one realize this in the pitch meeting? Also the only erectile dysfunction didn't air until 9:05. Thanks Janet (no sarcasm this time)
Another recent trend is the summer movie trailer during the Super Bowl. Here are the one's I will most likely see.
5) War of the World - I'm not actually see this movie since I've already seen Independence Day, but it was either this or Robots. Ever notice that the little girl in this movie is the new go to kid. I have a feeling Hailey Joel Osmont is rueing the day he went threw puberty. 4) The Pacifier - Even though it has Vin Diesel in it. Even though I saw it back when it was called Kindergarten Cop (Governor Diesel? shiver.) This may end up as a rental solely on the appearance of Brittany Snow who make "American Dreams" watchable each week. 4a) xXx - Ice Cube for Vin Diesel - upgrade. 3) Be Cool - Pulp Fiction meets Swingers via Get Shorty, I'm in. 2) The Longest Yard - It has Adam Sandler, but it also has Nelly. It has Chris Rock but it has Brian Bosworth. It has Michael Irving but it has Bill Romanowski. This could be the best or worst movie of the year. 1) Batman Begins - One word, Scarecrow. Best. Batman villain. Ever. But I'm not sold on the American Psycho as Batman and I like the Bat mobile as a sports car rather than a Hummer.
Post Game Did anyone notice that the "Under 5" Post Show went almost 30 minutes? Oh well. Nothing hurt more then when Chris Collingsworth said, "There is not a person in Cleveland not scratching their heads and saying 'can you believe what we're seeing?" Ouch. As for the Simpsons, the show seemed a little dated touching on all most of the topics that shaped LAST year. At least the Comic Book Guy gave me a title for this commentary.
To cap of the Worst. Super Bowl. Ever. was Fox's newest show, American Dad, which apparently was from the makers of Family Guy. Did they really need to tell us that? Let's look at the families: Idiot Father - Check. Loving Mother - Check. Nerdy Son- Check. Smart Daughter - Check. Talking Pet - Check. Member with a weird accent - Check. Oh, what the heck, one for the road - Worst. Post-Super Bowl Show. Ever.
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