Sunday, May 12, 2013

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/12/13



Once Upon a Time: I am okay with poetic license so if the show wants to turn Rumplestiltkin into the “Beast” or make Jack of the Beanstalk fame a chick, fine (though turning Captain Hook into a J. Crew model is a little silly) but I really do not like that they turned Neverland into Siberia for Lost Boys. Neverland may be the most magical land in the Disney library and to turn it into a living hell take poetic license too far. But being from the writers of Lost, I have a feeling in three seasons (if the show gets that far) we will learn Bay is Peter Pan who rescues the Lost Boys from the Shadow, who is probably being controlled by Captain Hook. I would not be surprised if Bay ended up back in Neverland through the portal he slipped through and now is living a Hook
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: I was really hoping that it would be Takeda killing Aiden because the show took a dive in the entertainment department right around he showed up. His character just made the show too complicated and muddled, and with him gone, I hoped they would go back to Emily taking people down again out of revenge for her father next season. That is if there is a next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Mad Men: On any other show, when Peggy left SCDP, the question would not have been if she would ever end up working with Don, but when. But considering this show has no problem segregating its cast (I cannot remember the last time Betty interacted with anyone else, Gene’s birthday party maybe) or just cut ties with them completely (I wonder if Paul Kinsey ever got to write for Star Trek) I figured they would just stay their separate ways from the rest of the show. So it seemed a little cheesy that Don proposed a merger with Peggy’s current firm.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: Well that was a weird way to start a results show, “hey, we are throwing out half the ways you were allowed to vote… but do not worry, even though we discarded those votes, we still got the same result anyway.” What? When Carson first announced this, my second thought was this is what they are going to use to bring back whoever drew the short straw on Adam’s team because they probably would have been one of the top two vote getters on any other team (my first thought was the irrational Michael Jackson fanatics, which there are still plenty around, stuffed the internet voting and possibly the texting which I am not entirely sure how you manipulate texting but I am morally opposed to texting so I really do not know much about it).

But alas the resurrection of Caroline Glaser, who was voted off Adam’s team, due to “voting irregularities” did not happen unless there is a shocking twist coming Monday (and we are still owed a shocking event from when they hyped one in the Battle Round that never happened). And the show should want to give Caroline a reprieve because she was one of the two best selling artists on the show this season (baffling the other person, Sarah Simmons, is the other one). Caroline and Sarah were the only two contestants whose four songs all charted this season, while Caroline was the only one who had all four of her songs on the Top 200 Overall iTunes chart this week. Not only that, all four of her songs charted higher on Monday than Josiah Hawley who inexplicably is in the final 12 while Caroline is going home. (Even as I write this, all four of Caroline's songs are charting higher than one song by Judith.  The Voice should feel really embarrassed by this.)  During Usher’s save, I was hoping he would say, “Instead of saving these two who are a lock to go home anyway, I am going to wait to use my Save on whoever Adam gets rid of.” That would have been worthy of the move we were promise in the Battle Round that “shocked the other coaches and producers.”

What makes Caroline and Sarah, the two top sellers, being in Adam’s team worse is that America’s Save went Judith Hill. The other save went to Amber Carrington, who hit the teens on the charts, but Caroline and Sarah were not that far behind in the thirties while Judith barely cracked the top 100. Considering they threw out online voting and texting, there had to be an overwhelming amount of phone calls for Judith to catapult Caroline and Sarah. Combine that with the “voting irregularities” this just does not pass the smell test. How are there that many people who said, Judith’s performance was not good enough to buy, but I am going to vote for her anyway?

Judith of course is an RnB singer while Amber is a country artist. You know else sings RnB and country: everyone else America voted for not named Michelle Chamuel (I guess she should be happy that Usher did not have another RnB singer or a country artist on his team). That really makes for a boring final 12. And it will get even more homogeneous because I suspect rockers Josiah and Garrett will be gone within the first two weeks, if not the first two gone. Not that I will find out, because unless they bring back Caroline, there really is no one to get excited for unless you are a country or RnB fanatic. I doubt anyone this season could have made the top five last season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Have we always known that Robin has a sister? When her father first mentioned the younger Serbowski, my first thought was, well she will turn out to be the titular Mother. Except it would make no sense, we already no the mother has been in New York City for a while, she partied with Sarah Chalke, roomed with Rachel Bilson, and sat in on Ted’s lecture. If Robin’s sister has been in the city this whole time, how have we never met her yet?
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Not that Pierce Morgan had much integrity in the first place, but how do you go on a show as yourself and comment on the size of another man’s junk on your own television show (which actually airs opposite the same program)? Larry King would never have done that.

Castle: It seems like whenever the show has these big government conspiracy cases, it always turns out to be a very pedestrian killer like a relative or scorn lover (with of course the exception of whenever it involves their own family). And I actually kind of hope Beckett takes the Washington job, then maybe Castle can go back to following around Adam Baldwin’s character.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Grimm: I have always liked Nora Zehetner going back to her Everwood days but unfortunately a decade later she really has not gotten her big break yet. She was unfortunately shuffled off that show after her onscreen brother died. She was the most interesting character on the early episodes of Heroes but was quickly killed off. The only thing I remember seeing her in since was one of the hundreds of Hey I Know That Person cameos on Heroes but she did not stick around long enough to get bedded by Don Draper (but at least she was not sullied by Pete Campbell). I was actually hoping that her character on Grimm would cause Nick to kill Juliet and she would become the new love interest because Juliet is clearly the weak link on the show. The only problem is Nick is the second weakest link.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Note to self: whenever you go on Survivor, tank any Individual Reward Challenges. Much like I am shocked that anyone would actually buy food at the action because the money would be better spent on the “advantage’ and Jeff will always have one covered dud and another time he will pull the you can have this for yourself, or something for the tribe thing. It is also becoming more frequent that at least once a season, Jeff will do the you can keep the prize for yourself or everyone else can get it thing and that usually happens during the Loved Ones Challenge. This week had to easily be the cruelest of Jeff’s ploys. He actually let Brenda choose Dawn, THEN said their was a second Loved One hiding on the island, AND THEN gave her the option of everyone but her AND Dawn the loved ones time. And then to make things worse, they actually had the barbecue within shouting distance. That was just cruel Jeff. And then Brenda learned the hard way why you do not want to win these challenges. It is a lose-lose situation. If you chose your Loved Ones, everyone will hate you and will not win if you make it to the finals. If you give up your Loved One, everyone will view you as a threat to win and try to vote you out, which actually happened to Brenda hours after her good deed. Though that was a stupid vote, I would much more worried of Eddie going on an Idol run than Brenda, and like I explained last week, Eddie already had three automatic votes on the jury. Oh well. We did finally get a first look of Andrea on the jury, and I am not sure who packs a cocktail dress when going on the show, but I am glad she did. Wow.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Nashville: Of course Juliette has a sex tape. But I take it they are going to save the reveal of Maddie’s paternity for the season finale to Deacan, and maybe Maddie herself. I guess the question is how they will find out? Will Rayna finally confess after all these years? will Teddy let it slip in a jealous rage? Will it be released in a tabloid? For the entertainment value, let’s hope it is the third option.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: That was the most disturbing sex scene I have ever seen.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: Well this season of Community written fan-fic is finally over. At least we got one last glimps of Evil Annie in a tight red dress before it was thankfully put out of its misery, so it made the season worth it. Wait, it was renewed? Oh goodness.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: So a therapist has his very own therapist. Though I have a feeling Hannibal just goes to Scully just to play with her. And what is going on with Abigail Hobbs? She was just resigned to a dream sequence this week, but I would really like to see her in the middle of the Hannibal / Will tug of war for her soul.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

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