Monday, April 03, 2017

The Voice Season Twelve Battle Round Power Rankings



Can we please get a petition going to kick Gwen off the show? In three seasons she has had three very weak teams, she gave us two of the five biggest Live Show disasters Ryan Sill and Braiden Sunshine. Her best contestant ever, Ellie Lawrence, she dumped in favor of Sunshine. Her love affair with Blake this season is completely unbearable. But there is one thing this season that trumps them all and is the reason she needs to get the boot and never come back. Now I am not one of those people who say, the show is called The Voice, the best singer should always advance. I want to be entertained so I will take an entertaining singer over a boring singer who just can happened to hold the biggest note. But even that take is about singing. Gwen actually told Brennley she knew she was going to Steal her before she even started singing based on her look (and I also think Blake told her to Steal Brennley so he can Steal her back next round like I predicted).

Really the Steals all around seemed wasted. Blake paired up his country girls because there are too many of them this season, yet both losers got stolen. Adam’s steals gave boring and unmemorable performances. Then there were two boring white dudes that got a reprieve (okay, I kind of like Dawson’s cheesy performance). Surprisingly Blake had the best Steals despite best known for using his as fodder, Felicia should have never lost to a middle schooler and though I did not care for Caroline going over the top for the Battles when her Blind Audition was so sweet and subdued, maybe with the country Blake they can find something more folksy to do in the Knockouts. Other than Blake’s pair, there were some singer left by the wayside because the other coaches rather go for fodder. I though Lauryn Judd was one of the five best this Battle Round and Kenny P., Gaby, Sammie, Josh, and Kawan were all better than the other six who will be moving on. I have said it before and will say it until it happens, but The Voice needs a Second Chance season for those that did not make it to the Live Shows. All of these six should be given another try.

Then much like the Blind Audition montage victims this season, the Battle relegated to seconds of screen time got uploaded to YouTube. And clearly the producers were right to cut them from television as most were trainwrecks or just downright boring. Only one was at all memorable, Andrea vs. Micah but it looks like Andrea may have irked someone because she is currently set up to be the third ever triple montage. But hey, at least she got her performances on YouTube unlike the other two. But anyways. Here are my favorites of the season.

1. Lilli Passero (Team Alicia): I love her, not much else to say other that I am going to be irate when she gets the boot so all the boring white dudes and country singers make it to the Semi-finales.

2. Lauren Duski (Team Blake): Blake really loves his country singers because he can dip deep into the country library to grab songs people like me have never heard of. But I hope Blake lets her stay weird like doing country pop versions of nineties songs.

3. Aliyah Moulden (Team Blake): Well this was a surprise. Blake has historically been horrible at the Battle Rounds from an entertainment stand point. They are usually lopsided and whenever he picks non-country songs they end up being train wrecks. I am too lazy to look it up, but I would guess half of his Battles get monaged because of this. So when you hear he was giving his two non-country singers quite possibly the cheesiest song ever, my first thought was, wait, this is not being montaged. But congratulations to Aliyah and Dawson for actually making that an entertaining performance. Seriously, these kids’ parents may not have been alive when this song was released.

4. Chris Blue (Team Alicia): In a while I am going to complain the over use of Motown in the Battle Round, and here is proof you do not have to go to the well every time there is an RnB singer. I just wished the break into some nineties RnB tunes also.

5. TSoul (Team Blake): Here is another Battle that deserved a Steal.

6. Johnny Gates (Team Gwen): This was one of the Battles when Johnny starts singing and you go, oh yeah, he is going to win. Then Sammie started to sing and I realized, oh wait, she should win. One of the rare tossups in the Battles. Shame Sammie did not warrant a steal.

7. Felicia Temple (Team Alicia Blake): I jumped ship before the Battle last season so I was unaware of how Alicia picks singers, was she this stupid? How was this even a choice? This may have been the second worst Battle decision ever.

8. Dawson Coyle (Team Blake Alicia): I have to roll my eyes whenever Carson hypes the most shocking steal ever every episode and every commercial break, but that may have finally been appropriate this time around. There were other out there that deserved a Steal over him (Gaby and Kenny P comes to mind) but he did have a much higher degree of difficulty with the cheesiest cheesy eighties song.

9. Caroline Sky (Team Gwen Blake): Caroline came in as a soft singer-songwriter type, I liked that much better that her trying to belt out songs. Hopefully Blake can course correct that after getting some bad advice from Gwen.

10. Jesse Larson (Team Adam): Speaking of random Blake Battles, this seems like something he would have done and would have been montaged. Jesse was fine had it just been him, but goodness these two do not mix well at all. Since they actually released the montaged Battles this season I have to wonder what the producers were thinking airing this instead of half they actually reduced to five seconds.

11. Ashley Levin (Team Blake Alicia): I was kind of meh on this Battle though I leaned towards Ashley. Not so much that I thought she would get three Steal attempts
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12. Vanessa Ferguson (Team Alicia): I would give the slight edge to Vanessa but the performance was just too subdued.

13. Autumn Turner (Team Alicia Adam): Again, kind of a boring Battle yet she did makes Last Dance really entertaining in 2017 so maybe she can do something better in the Knockouts, Adam does have a weak team.

14. Brennley Brown (Team Blake Gwen): Called it, stolen by Gwen, now where can I bet Blake steals her back in the Knockouts?

15. Johnny Hayes (Team Adam): I spent most of the time thinking Cody Belew was much better than either of them. Both were just trying too hard.

16. JChosen (Team Gwen): I was kind of bored with JChosen, maybe cause it has become an annoying cliché whenever there is a soul singer to have them sing Motown, so I found Keny P much more interesting in this Battle. And even though he seems to be pushed s lot, there are many other RnB singers this season I am more interested in.
17. Casi Joy (Team Blake): I just find her traditional country sound to be mostly boring.

18. Anatalia Villaranda (Team Alicia): Gee, they might as well as montaged this because it was pretty obvious who Alicia was going to pick from the pair and the energetic song choice made it even more obvious since Anatalia basically performed the same song in the Blind Auditions.

19. Malik Davage (Team Adam): Another really bad song choice from Adam, the song just does not showcase any voice very well, but I still thought Kawan was the clear winner.

20. Troy Ramey (Team Gwen): Montage win… yawn. And watching the full version I could see why, they mostly butchered one of the great middle school dance songs of all time.

21. Brandon Royal (Team Gwen): I liked his battle better than his Blind Audition but he is still on the bottom f the RnB singer power raking. Well of the grown men division.

22. Josh West (Team Adam): Montage win… yawn. Really just a bad song choice for both of them. It slightly fit Nala better but clearly Adam knew who was going to win when they paired them.

23. Davina Leone (Team Gwen Adam: This warranted a Steal? She came acrtoss as a more of a background singer to Brandon and he was not really that good either. If this was the last Steal of the season, Adam should have waited. I did notice Carson did not get the obligatory, “coaches let me remind you (the artist) is available to Steal” for Lauryn Judd, he should have waited for her.

24. Andrea Thomas (Team Blake): Double montage victim… yawn. The only question now is will be the third triple montage victim?

25. Hanna Eyre (Team Adam): Montage win… yawn. I actually thought the other chick won hands down. Too bad they did not add the coach’s commentary to the YouTube video because I wonder what Adam’s reasoning was and if the other coaches agreed. Probably another case of Adam picking the winner before he even picked the song.

26. Stephanie Rice (Team Gwen): She gets much too loud for my taste.

27. Enid Ortiz (Team Blake): The biggest shocker of the Battles, Valerie, a much ballyhooed four chair turn against a very forgettable person from the Blinds gets booted via montage. But it also really sucks getting stuck singing an obscure song by a Voice alum, no wonder this was montaged.

28. Jack Cassidy (Team Alicia): see below.

29. Hunter Plake (Team Alicia Gwen): I was going to decry this as another wasted Steal but apparently I am in the minority considering this was the highest charting Battle this season, and higher than any Blind Audition. Granted I have an irrational hatred of boring white dudes and these two are extremely boring. And with Hunter now on Gwen’s team, I fear we may have a redux of Gwen’s last season who took an annoying teenager and boring white dudes to the Lives and they went all the way to the Semi-Finals. Does that make Stephanie this season’s Korin. I would feel really sorry for her if that is the case.

30. Mark Isaiah (Team Adam): Wait, did I watch a different Battle? What was with all the praise for Mark, his voice and whiney. Gaby actually has character. Is this solely a looks thing and everyone thinks Mark is the next heartthrob? To me this goes in the pantheon of worst decisions ever.

31. Quizz Swanigan (Team Alicia): Seriously Alicia, what the fork? He better not become the black Braiden Sunshine.

32. Aaliyah Rose (Team Gwen): Montage win…. Yawn. But she better not turn out to be the female Braiden Sunshine. Seriously, Gwen is a horrible coach.

Alright let put these people into my patient pending formula to see who has the strongest team:

Blake – 170
Alicia – 151
Adam – 107
Gwen – 100

Oh my, coming out of the Blinds, somehow I thought Adam had the strongest team while Alicia had the weakest. Adam had a bunch of questionable picks and some really bad song selections that really sunk his team this round. And though Alicia made the worst decision of the round keeping Quizz, she chose wisely everywhere else and plucked some great songs too that really showcased her singers which may be why half her losers got stolen. Then there was Blake steady as always, picking the right singer and even picked up some worthy Steals in the process. But who cares what I think, here are the highest charting Battles this season:

1. Hunter Plake and Jack Cassidy (11)
2. Brennley Brown and Lauren Duski (160)
3. Lauryn Judd and Lilli Passero (180)
4. Johnny Gates and Sammie Zonana (193)
5. Autumn Turner and Vanessa Ferguson (232)
6. Ashley Levin and Casi Joy (246)
7. Caroline Sky and Stephanie Rice (311)
8. Brandon Royal and Davina Leone (389)
9. Felisha Temple and Quizz Swanigan (447)
10. Aliyah Moulden and Dawson Coyle (455)
11. Chris Blue and RJ Collins (534)
12. Jesse Larson and Taylor Alexander (555)
13. Chris Blue (579)
14. Gaby Borromea and Mark Isaiah (690)
15. JChosen and Kenny P. (698)
16. Casi Joy (896)
17. Josh Hoyer and TSoul (882)
18. Anatalia Villaranda and Missy Robertson (1348)
19. Hunter Plake (1156)
20. Johnny Hayes and Julian Martinez (1497)

You know my rant about unworthy Steals at the beginning, maybe I am wrong; all eight steals were in the top ten best sellers. Though I should note, Lauryn was third and she more than anyone else this season I think deserved to move on to the Knockouts. Since they gone to the only offering up duets instead of solo of singers advancing, it is harder to pick out front runners (although Chris Casi and Hunter being the only ones who re-charted their Blind Auditions may be a clue, although weirdly Hunter’s did not chart very high the first time), but here is how the singers rank if you average their peaks from the two rounds so far.

1. Lauren Duski (147.5)
2. Casi Joy (221)
3. Stephanie Rice (242)
4. Lilli Passero (248)
5. Chris Blue (308)
6. Johnny Gates (385)
7. Jack Cassidy (397)
8. JChosen (486)
9. Hunter Plake (570)
10. Vanessa Ferguson (617)
11. Brennley Brown (644.5)
12. Autumn Turner (646.5)
13. Mark Isaiah (651)
14. Caroline Sky (733.5)
15. TSoul (904)
16. Johnny Hayes (1069.5)
17. Anatalia Villaranda (1207.5)

Wow, that is almost half that manages to chart both performances. Ashley, Brandon, Davina, Aliyah, Dawson, and Jesse only charted their Battles. Felicia, Troy, Josh, and Hanna managed to chart only their Blind Auditions (the latter three were victims of montages not that is an excuse, Holly Henry almost cracked the top two hundred in the same position), while Malik, Quizz, Aaliyah, Enid, and Andrea have to even crack the top 1500 (again, the final three were featured in a montage, the latter twice). And shockingly Gwen has the best Team in terms of iTunes, just edging out Alicia and Blake. Adam, who had the best iTunes team after the Blinds, fell off a huge cliff. That will happen when you dump you two best charting Blind Auditions (Taylor and Kawan) and have half you team montaged because few people chart and certainly chart high when that happens.

Unlike the Battles where they complete spoiled all the pairings on their YouTube page, we only got a quick glimpse of a couple Battles:

Anatalia vs. Dawson (Team Alicia)
Hannah vs. Autumn (Team Adam)
JSoul vs. Enid (Team Blake)
Chris vs. Quizz (Team Alicia)
Johnny vs. Hunter (Team Gwen)

Not much to go on but some interesting pairings, especially those last three (the producers have been very keen on the spitfire Anatalia and the other, I guess is an obligatory team Adam shot). I would have guessed JSoul would be the easy pick, Blake does like taking a token black person to the Lives, but Enid did upset Valerie who I thought was the most obvious Team Blake Battle Round winner. Speaking of upsets, Quizz took out a former Team Alicia frontrunner, can he do it again. Then thankfully Gwen is putting on a battle of the boring white dudes.

It is hard enough to pick winners when you have the pairings, but I am still going to predict who I think will make the Live Playoffs on their same team ranked with whom I am most confident will advanced first with Steals in parentheses:

Team Adam: Mark, Josh, Jesse, Autumn (Caroline)
Team Alicia: Lilli, Anatalia, Vanessa, Chris (Felicia)
Team Blake: Lauren, Aliyah, Casi, TSoul (Brennley)
Team Gwen: JChosen, Johnny, Stephanie, Aaliyah (Quizz)

2 comments:

  1. You may want to get facts before you run your mouth. The "boring white dude" named Hunter Plake is THE ONLY competitor to hit top 10 in I-Tune sales (TWICE). He and Jack were at #8 with Dancing On My Own and Hunter went #7 with I want to know what love is. The proof is in the numbers as they don't lie. The line you wrote " it is harder to pick out front runners (although Chris Casi and Hunter being the only ones who re-charted their Blind Auditions may be a clue, although weirdly Hunter’s did not chart very high the first time)" is because the first time was the blind audition. Hunter nor his coach picked that tune; it was the producers of the show. Carry On is not Hunter's cup of tea. He's more of a ballad artist and does very well with them. Watch the live playoffs when he does his next tune and look at the I-Tunes again. I guarantee he'll hit top 10 again in the pop genre and again I'll prove to you that you have no clue what you're talking about. I believe you're the boring white dude! Signed "BORING WHITE DUDE LOVER"

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    1. First off, you seriously need to learn the difference between facts and opinions. Next, you really should not really tell someone to get their facts and then start printing alternative facts in your very next sentence. I check other sites and not one had Hunter listed in the top ten, the best I saw was top thirty and that is it. Numbers may not lie, but you certainly do. And furthermore that is not how the Blind Auditions work. I have heard from many contestants that they pick a list of twenty-five songs then the producers pick from that list. So Carry On was clearly in Hunter's top twenty-five and if it was not "his cup of tea" he should not have put it on his list. And if that truly was not his cup of tea and cannot come up with that many songs in his wheelhouse maybe he should not be on the show.

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