If there is one thing I have learned from watching Locked Up Abroad, do not, under any circumstance, accept an all expense paid trip to another country because you are being used as a drug mule. For the new season of Locked Up Abroad we learn three new rules for those dumb enough to voluntarily become drug mules: rule number one is never body pack. The second rule is never body pack. Do I even need to tell you what the third rule is? Guess what the guy in the next week’s episode does. If you said body pack his drugs, give yourself a pat on the back.
But for tonight’s season premiere, it is yet another one of the people who thought they were getting a nice vacation for free. Erik Aude was a struggling actor (he was credited as Musclehead in Dude, Where's My Car?) working as a personal trainer when a buddy at his gym had a way of making extra money importing leather that would save the sender some sort of tax had he shipped it regularly. And wouldn’t you know it; the suitcase with the leather samples was lined with opium. Oops.
Sure Locked Up Abroad has done the unwilling drug mule before, and by estimate accounts it makes up fifty percent of the episodes, but this episode is notable for two reason. This is the first time that I am aware of where the subject actually plays himself in the dramatization parts, keep in mind this guy brags to a customs agents that he was also in 7th Heaven and Bounce, which if I am not mistake was a horrible Ben Affleck movie. It is also worth watching because it is the funniest episode ever in the history of Locked Up Abroad because the guy clearly exaggerates his story. Yeah the guy if buff and played a guy named Musclehead once, but I have a hard time believing he went all Jason Statham and single handily took down an entire prison of Pakistanis. But it is entertaining to watch. And why wait until tonight, watch that scene below and tell me if you think it happened the way Erik says it did or he did it just to boost his demo reel.
Also this season on Locked Up Abroad there is the previously mentioned body packer (another reason not to do drugs, the more common way of smuggling drugs involves passing balloons full of it through your digestive system, so think of where that comes out of the next time you contact your dealer) who somehow has a bunch of near misses before finally gets busted. We will also meet a smuggler who gets busted in Argentina who swims across to Brazil to escape.
Locked Up Abroad airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on National Geographic Channel. You can also download Locked Up Abroad on iTunes.