Whatever Happened Happened

If Blogger allowed subtitles, it would be, “Unless of course it was all a dream then that didn’t really happen.”

Please, if you will, jump into the Hot Tube Time Machine all the way back to February 10, 2005, a mere week into the inception of the 9th Green and my very first mention of Lost here, Déjà Vu All Over Again. In the post I mention my first apprehension to the show going in the long run because it had just already in the first season utilized the second of the biggest clichés in television history when we learned that Claire had come down with a bout of amnesia. But I bring this up because of the first overused cliché they used, the “it was all a dream” sequence when Boone saw Smoke kill his sister until Locke said, “Psyche! It was all a dream Boone, she is still alive.”

There is always a lot of talk about if a series finale could tarnish a show and the answer is no. The Seinfeld was considered bad but is still regarded as one of the funniest shows in the history of television. The Sopranos ending created such visceral hatred but I still saw it on plenty of Greatest of the 00’s lists and even topped a few. These were like seeing Joe Montana in a Chief’s uniform, sure you do not want to see it, but it doesn’t disqualify him from the Hall of Fame.

While the series finale may not tarnish the show as a whole, it completely ruined the last season. As one of the few people that actually like the flash-sideways, to go back and realize that forty percent of the season happened in the dead minds of the castaways so they could have the lamest high school reunion ever really ruined that part of the season I had previously liked so much. And what was with everyone with a drinking the kool-aid look to everyone sported after they flashed. They were all way too happy to realize they were dead.

And who was and wasn’t invited was befuddling. Sure they could explain away Michael as being stuck Jacob Marley style with whispering chains (along, plausibly, with Eko, Nikki, Paulo and a few others) but what about Walt? Could have had some flashes at some time with Vincent? And who invited Ben? Did he really redeem himself that much as Hurley’s number two? And what happens to him outside the church? Couldn’t he have gone with Alex and or Rousseau? Speaking of children, where were Aaron, baby Charlie, Ji Yeon, and the spawn of Sawyer? Shouldn’t have Richard warranted an invite? Sure if the island was underwater, he never gets eternal life from Jacob, but if sideways was just make believe anyway, he could have made an appearance.

And the absence of Faraday and Charlotte could be explained away by Desmond respecting the request of Eloise Hawking, but as the “time cop” shouldn’t she know if a world created by a group that leaves, would that world cease to exist and she then was denying her son a chance to pass on? And why care enough to include Miles, Artz and Anna Lucia in you sideways world but not even invite them to your reunion? Sure they did not have some epic love story, but neither did Locke or Boone (did I miss a scene when Boone had his flash backs?). Neither did Sayid and Shannon for that matter. Seriously, Sayid pines over Nadia, cris-crossing continents trying to find her, watches her die, but his true love is a chick he dated for a week.

The big irony for me when it comes to Lost is when ABC shipped Monday Night Football I said there was nothing left on the All Broads Channel for guys to watch except for Lost. It wasn’t until the finale did I realize that Lost in fact fit right in with all the other televised chick flicks on the network. Lost was never a genre show, the sci-fi aspect of the show was no less a gimmick than a hospital or the suburbs. This is why we would never get some important answers to questions like: "Why was Sun the only living member of Oceanic 6 that didn’t flash back to 1977?" because it never matter. If you need and answer, it was just a way for the writers to keep Jin and Sun away from each other for another two seasons because it would make for a more emotional reunion and subsequent farewell.

The finale was for all the people who would annoyingly mash up character names and fights to the death arguing over if Kate should pick Jack or Sawyer and cried when Penny called Desmond on the freighter for the first time. Sure I enjoys the first couple flashes in the finale (to a point, they really went overboard with all of them) but that just isn’t me, I could have cared less who Kate picked as long as the writers found new ways to get her out of her clothes and didn’t well up during the phone call because I was still trying to figure out how present day Desmond was able to get nineties Penny to call him. It is probably not a coincidence that some of my favorite characters on the show, Ben, Locke, Hugo, Faraday, Miles, rarely got any sweet lovin’ if any.

A secondary irony is for the whole series all I ever heard about the show was, “I have no clue what is going on but I love it.” Well I almost always new was going on (I could never wrap my head around the idea of the Constant) I never thought the show was all that great since the second season. But in the end it may not have been a good idea to trust someone behind Crossing Jordan and Nash Bridges.

Lost: The Series gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.