We on Award Tour: 2007 MTV Movie Awards

After years of just having random hot chicks host, we finally have an actual comedian host the MTV Movie Awards. But as soon as the get something right, they do something as equally wrong to cancel out the goodness, namely replacing professionally done movie spoofs with amateur ones which after seeing the final three, was a huge mistake. You know the spoofs were really bad when the best actually spoofed United 93. You know, the movie that documented the flight that went down in Pennsylvania on September 11th. But the show wasn’t all bad; here are some more thoughts on the festivities:

- We get are very first commercial free pre show and it is pretty clear the Transformers was the one that picked up the tab. I would say a good twenty minutes of the half hour was devoted to the movie. And even though I was a huge Transformers in my youth, there is no way you can get me to see a live action movie version. I have leaned my lesson from the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies.

- One of the few non Transformers interviews was with Mandy Moore and the dude from The Office (I choose not to type his name not because I can’t spell it but because, well actually, that pretty much sums it up) who hilariously pull out the sarcasm when it is mentioned that Paris Hilton arrive.

- That may have been the worst opening in the awards history. Obviously someone was smoking something when they wrote that.

- At least that was saved but the monologue when Sarah Silverman has even more fun at Paris Hilton’s expense. Is it wrong that my biggest laughs of the night were when people started cheering when Silverman mentioned Hilton’s impending jail team and the subsequence look on her face when Hilton realize everyone hates her.

- We are live for the first time tonight and it seemed there were a lot more cursing then usually even if you take away Silverman’s closing song.

- The cast of Fantastic Four is out first to present. Pretty much every presenting team was a cast of a movie (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Live Free or Die Trying, License to Wed, Transformers, Hairspray). It’s like MTV doesn’t even try not to hind they are a complete industry shill. I guess they don’t have to when people like me come back every year. Not surprisingly they handed out the award for best villain to Jack Nicholson because he was prominently shown during the monologue and Jack isn’t showing up if he didn’t win. And since there were no gratuitous shots of him after the award, I bet he walked right out of the auditorium after picking up his award.

- Seriously, the Mac guy is going to be in the next Die Hard movie? Did Bruce Willis just okay this to get iPods for his family? And did he get the Windows guy a cameo?

- They really needed to black out more than they did in the Borat fight scene.

- Apropos that Dane Cook introduced all of the laughless amateur spoof. Almost as unfunny as the spoofs and Cook were those Human Giant spots. Now I know to never watch that show.

- In the rare non-cast presenting team, they took the time machine back to 1997 to team up Posh Spice and Chris Tucker.

- Is Umbrella really the number one song in the country? The live rock version is was a little better than the album version. Although Rihanna must really be talented if she can sing if we can hear her without her lips movie like at the ends of the performance.

- At least we got one good spoof with Silverman trying to find a presenter. Unfortunately it ended with another poor idea, having a random webcam user present an award.

- Why have an Orbitz Dirty Mouth if they don’t even show the winner let along the nominees. Oh yeah, it was just for a blatant cooperate sponsorship.

- They are resurrecting the Unplugged series for Bon Jovi? Or are they reshowing one from twenty years ago?

- It was nice that MTV made fun of all the annoying people who quote Borat ad nausea with the Boratititus segment. Yes random frat boy, I’m talking to you, stop it, it is not funny when you do it.

- When I heard Mike Myers was going to win the Generations Awards I was excited thinking they were going back to their roots like the great Lifetime Achievement Awards. That was until I realized they were awarding it to Austin Powers not the unkillable homicidal maniac. What was really sad was Myers pulled out an old Wayne’s World joke with the whole sell out part of his acceptance speech.

- As much as I like Amy Winehouse, her performance was a little disappointing as it was the same as her Letterman performance and every other show of the like. They could at least show pictures of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, et al, behind her. In fact, they just released a remix of the show with Jay-Z, he was already there, he could have jumped on stage.

- I would personally like to thank whoever decided to turn Amanda Bynes into a stripper. She didn’t quite pull it off entirely, but it still worked for me.

- It was nice to see a movie that was universally panned by critics and viewers alike, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest actually took home the Best Movie award. And it is not a good sign when your live awards show actually ends two minutes early. No wonder we rarely saw the morbidly obese dude with the freakish bellybutton.