Welcome to the Jungle

To commemorate the release of the XBOX version of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, I thought I would whip out a review albeit for the Playstation 2. (As I type this out on Microsoft Word, I find it very interesting that XBOX makes it through spell check yet Playstation doesn’t. Isn’t that taking it too far Bill?) Keep in mind I currently hovering around 70% after playing since January so I do not have a full review as the finish can sometimes make or break a game. There is nothing worse than spending a lot of time on a decent to good game only to have a lackluster ending (*cough Star Wars: Bounty Hunter cough*). But I do have a good feel to the game as I have been playing it for almost half a year.

Just like the recently reviewed Desperate Housewives (scroll down one entry), I avoided the Grand Theft Auto series as all the review for GTA3 all revolved around the ability to have your way with a hooker only to kill her and get your money back. Not necessarily my idea of fun, but anyways. Then the ads for GTA: Vice City came out. I’m sure we all remember the Miami Vice look-a-likes strolling around with explosions going of in the background and slick cars flying through the air to the sounds of A Flock of Seagulls’ I Ran. I have to admit I was excited as a child of the 80’s and a lover of anything from the decade. But then I remembered the whole hooker thing. Then I came across the soundtrack to GTA:VC featuring such great 80’s artist as Michael Jackson, Bryan Adams, Laura Branigan, Twisted Sister, Night Ranger, and my personal favorite, Lionel Ritchie. And that just a tip of the iceberg as they about fifty songs that you were able to listen to while driving around Vice City. I even found myself at my destination and I wouldn’t get out of the car because a certain song was on the radio. As for the gameplay, there were many entertaining missions that you go on all different from each other. Although I could have done without the RC missions.

So when I was offered a free copy of GTA: SA (thank you Promosquad, check to your left for a link), I jumped at it. The game this time is set in the early 90’s in a state that resembles California. Yes, there is a state to roam around, not just one city. In fact, the three major cities in the state all seem as big if not bigger than Vice City. In San Andreas, you start out in Los Santos, a Los Angeles type city and Grove Street is your own personal Compton. Next own your journey is San Fierro is a take on San Francisco equipped with hills, a winding street, and a lot of alternative lifestyle hangouts. The last place you will travel is Las Venturas which is the alternative universe version of Las Vegas which basically in California anyways. And that not it, there is an extensive rural element to San Andreas too that is about three times the size of the three major cities combined including a desert, a dam, a mountain, a secret military base, and a couple small towns and farm areas.

The music was the big part of GTA:VC, so it’s only right to start there. Since we are set in the early 90’s LA off-shoot, gangsta rap takes center stage on the radio station Radio Los Santos with eight songs by N.W.A. or N.W.A. alumni. The other major music of the time was grunge and that is put on Radio X with songs by Helmet, Rage Against the Machine, and Alice in Chains. For soul, turn to CSR and you will get contemporary music from En Vogue, Boyz II Men, and Bell Biv DeVoe, with you DJ as voiced by Michael Bivins of BBD and New Edition.

Unlike GTA:VC, SA has a few classic stations too. Playback, with your DJ voiced by Chuck D, features old school rap from Chuck’s Public Enemy, Gang Starr, and Biz Markie. Bounce FM plays classic funk tracks with your DJ, The Funktipus as voiced by George Clinton where you will hear the sounds of Rick James, Ohio Players, and The Gap Band. K-Rose is the country station for when you are traveling around the boondocks. K-DST brings you some classic rock from the likes of Tom Petty, Billy Idol and what classic rock station wouldn't be complete without some Free Bird? And the music is brought to you by none other than W Axl Rose. And quite frankly, he shouldn’t quit his day job of being a recluse. Rounding out the dial is a dance station, a Reggie station, and some talk radio. So the music is not as good as Vice City, but it will keep you entertained, even six months in.

The guest DJ’s are not the only known personalities in the game. First and foremost is Coach Carter himself, Samuel L. Jackson as Officer Tenpenny, a cop so mean that he makes Officer Krupke look like a dancing sissy. His sidekick, Officer Pulaski, is voiced by Chris Penn. I’m sure you all remember him as the hick Kevin Bacon taught to dance in Footloose. The face of the counter-culture, Peter Fonda, plays, of course a hippie who has a distrust of the government (granted my generation best knows him as Bridget's dad). James Woods plays a government agent. Fresh from his True Hollywood Stories, Charlie Murphy makes a funny, albeit short cameo. David Cross from Arrested Development is telecasted as an uber-nerd. Ice-T, The Game, MC Eiht and members of the Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. not surprisingly are cast as ganstas. For the females, they brought in the C-list with Debi Mazar and Bijou Phillips who makes a rare appearance without taking her cloths off.

As for the missions, there are many that closely resemble those that are found in Vice City. Luckily they are only two RC missions here (at least as far as I gone), but the bad new that one of them is the hardest mission ever. Ever. EVER. It took me about a week to finally complete it. It was so excruciatingly painful, I skip watching Arrested Development for a couple weeks because the sound of David Cross’ voice, who is featured in the mission, sent me in to a crazed frenzy. You cannot fully comprehend how horrible this mission is until you play it.

There were some improvements in the game over Vice City as I mention earlier, the massive scale of the state. The biggest change though is that CJ can swim. I could never understand how some one on an island was unable to swim. Also CJ has the ability to climb over walls and such, this comes in handy throughout the game. CJ also has the ability of stealth, stealing a page out of Sam Fisher’s playbook. And since we are roaming around a state, you have the ability to steal airplanes and fly them. And in case you want to bail out of you plane mid-flight, you can strap on a parachute and glide down without becoming a pancake on the sidewalk. Bicycles also make their appearance as a mode of transportation as well as a special “vehicle” that you will steal from the government that I won’t spoil for you.

There is addition that I'm not fond as GTA moves to The Sims territory. I have never understood why anyone would want to play a life simulator why they have there own like to control. In GTA:SA, you must make sure CJ eat or you will eventually lose some health. Also, there gyms you can go to add some muscle mass or just lose some pounds because if you eat too much, CJ slows down and you can't jump as high. There is also a way to increase your sex appeal by getting tattoos, new cloths and new hairstyle of which includes every hair cut a black man has ever worn, I'm partial to the Bobby Brown-Gumby look, and even some they don't use like the Elvis pompadour.

Looking forward to a possible 7^th GTA, may I suggest a late 70’s New York type city. At your disposal are music that range between punk and disco. You can also implement a Studio 54 type club, a Son of Sam type character, a blackout, and can fill the game with the type of people who were regulars at Studio 54 (Warhol et. al.). Leave your suggestion for a new GTA in the comments section.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.