Monday, October 24, 2011

First Impressions: Once Upon a Time


The cast of Once Upon a Time

It seems like every season there are a couple shows that share a premise and this year there were actually two competing shows on ABC and NBC with the same idea. ABC resoundingly won the first battle between the sixties era drama with Pan Am being a more critical and commercial success while The Playboy Club flamed out with both and did not last a month. This week sees the debut of two more similarly themed shows based around fairy tales, with Grimm premiering Friday at 9:00 (look for my review later this week).

Where Grimm is simply a procedural whose perps just happens to come from children’s stories, Once Upon a Time is all in with its fairytale theme with half the story set in the mythical land and the other in present day Storybrooke, Maine where the fairytale characters live your average human existence. Confused yet (the show does come to us from writers on the Lost staff)? As the story goes, the Evil Queen (of Snow White Fame) cast a spell banishing everyone in the enchanted forest to the worst place where there are no such things and happy endings without any knowledge of their fairytale past: present day America (or purgatory, these are the writers of Lost). And the writer really hit that idea hard repeating just how much this life sucks making you wonder how much they hate their own lives.

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow WhiteBut wait, it has been prophesized, by Rumpelstiltskin of all people, that the offspring of Snow White and Prince Charming would come back on her twenty-eighth birthday to rescue them from this horrible place. And wouldn’t you know in present day Boston, Jennifer Morrison (Urban Legends - Final Cut) is celebrating that very birthday when she is visited by a precocious ten year old saying he was the son she gave up a decade before and is apparently the only one in Storybrooke aware of the inhabitant’s pervious lives (maybe it is because he looks to be the only one who is actually ageing in the city which is why Snow White and her daughter look the same age; though not explained is why they look nothing alike or why Morrison is wearing a jacket out of the Thriller collection). One has to wonder in the Evil Queen excluded herself in the amnesia curse.

Much like the upcoming Grimm, the big flaw (aside from the laughably bad CGI) is that both shows take themselves too serious for a show about fairytale characters. It is hard not to cringe as scenes like present day Red Riding Hood is a slut. But shows really need to learn to embrace the cheese factor when updating stories like these to be successful.

Other modern day counterparts include Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin, Ramona and Beezus) is now a teacher. Prince Charming (Joshua Dallas, Thor), who was fatally wounded before the curse was set in now a John Doe in a coma at the hospital. Jiminy Cricket (Raphael Sbarge, Vision Quest) is a children psychiatrist. Rumpelstiltskin (Robert Carlyle, Once Upon a Time in the Midlands) “owns” the town, whatever that means. And naturally the Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla, Spin City) is in politics and the adoptive parent of Snow White's grandchild.

There are very few more likeable actors working today than Goodwin and Parrilla manages to make the real life mayor of Storybrooke scarier than the Evil Queen making modern day that much more interesting, but I am not sure how far the show can go unless it develops a funny bone.

Once Upon a Time airs Sundays at 8:00 on ABC. You will be able to stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/23/11


How I Met Your Mother: As everyone else, I found Robin dating her therapist creepy, but him psychoanalyzing the group this week was hilarious.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Sing Off: There is nothing I hate more about The Sing-Off more (now that they banished the Pussycat Doll to a crappier show) than guilty pleasures week. If I should be guilty of liking Bell Biv DeVoe then lock me up and throw away the key. Same goes for Lionel Richie, Huey Lewis, Rick Stringfield, Flashdance or Footloose (unless we are talking about the Blake Shelton version which should make you feel guilty for liking). But enough of the silly stuff, North Shore getting voted off this early was the worst judges’ decision in the history of the show. Sure their version of Power of Love was not the best performance of the night, but it certainly was not one of the two worst. I still had them in my top five.

Even though they have a boneheaded move, the judges did provide two great moments with Ben Folds rapping and Shawn calling Sara out for calling the Soul Train line a wedding march (full disclosure: when I saw the Soul Train line I first though the DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince Summertime video). Shamelessly Afro-Blue did not let the white chick down the Soul Train line, but at least they let her speak and sing this week. As for Antoine Merriweather singing Jessie’s Girl: hated it. Why would he want a woman like that when Jesse sounds like such a great guy? I was also disappointed that no one showered Delilah with water in their chairs during Flashdance. And though over half of the songs performed this week do not deserve the Guilty Pleasure label, this, my friends, is the definition of a guilty pleasure (followed by the latest Power Ranking):



1. Afro Blue (+2)
2. University of Rochester YellowJackets (+3)
3. Urban Method (+1)
4. The Dartmouth Aires (-3)
5. BYU Vocal Point (+2)
6. Delilah (+2)
7. Pentatonix (+2)
8. The Collective (+2)

You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Sing-Off on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: It is about time someone threw a nineties themed party, the eighties are just too overplayed. But how did no one show up as O.J. or sport the Aniston?

Castle: I understand that no one would know, or would admit knowing, the thief named Falco, but come on, not one Rock Me Amadeus reference?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Oh snap, Bobby Elvis called a vote on the president! As disgruntled as he has been, I did not see that coming. I did see Juice trying to commit suicide coming about a half an hour before it happen. Though self hanging on a tree does not seem like the best way to be successful.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: South Pacific: I originally thought that Cochran was not long for this game, but the island is full of idiots, and he may end up winning this thing by riding Jim and Dawn to the finals. Ozzie lost his mind while Keith and Whitney’s big power play was to do nothing. While on the other side the hubris, mental health, and stupidity of Coach, Brandon, and Rick have sabotage their tribe. The only hope Albert and Sophie is that Mikayla rejoins them as a threesome after the merge (assuming she returns into the game; I may have to call Shenanigans if Christina manages to make it back in the game after winning every Redemption Island challenge like Matt did last season).
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Survivor on iTunes


Pretty Little Liars: You are officially old when you hear someone say that are going to dress up like Lady G and you think they are going to get a Lady Godiva costume. But anyway. This episode seemed to be a glorified reason to stuff in as many characters (you must have been starring at the stars if you missed Ezra) with basically everyone showing up at some point. Surprisingly one of the few people missing was Jenna’s boyfriend. And it looked like there may have been a forming of the Anti-Allison Fan Club with Jenna, Mona, and Hermy banning together as charter members, a lot of looks between those three.

Revenge: There are few things I have more than the “Two Days Before” place card and Revenge had the most egregious example ever when it spoiled the season(?) at the beginning of the series. But if you are going to utilize the cliché, this is the way you do it because it set up an interesting murder mystery. Was it Amy Abbott? The nerd? The Greysons or their henchman? But my favorite part of the episode was when the rich kid actually said, “All I can think about is taking you to the bedroom,” a line that hysterically worked.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: This show and religion should never mix again.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Best of the Week - 10/22/11


Quote of the Week: Oh, they don’t always get to ride to roller coaster. Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups. (Penny, The Big Bang Theory)

Song of the Week: American Slang – The Gaslight Anthem (The Lying Game)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Muammar Gaddafi: I am too young to remember the height of the cold war, and by the eighties the Eastern Block was a shell of itself on the verge of collapse. For a short period in elementary school it was Muammar Gaddafi who public enemy number one with every school child wanting to blow Libya off the map. Not only was Muammar evil, dude was completely insane. In recent years other mad men have taken over most evil man in world crown, but Muammar came back with a vengeance during the Arab Spring killing civilians to make sure it would not happen to him. But in the end he was found hiding in a drainage tunnel and killed by rebels. Goodbye Muammar, you will not be missed.

Free Download of the Week: Live It Up Chris Isaak (Amazon MP3)

New Album Release of the Week: Mylo Xyloto - Coldplay

New DVD Release of the Week: Captain America: The First Avenger (Three-Disc Combo: Blu-ray 3D / Blu-ray / DVD / Digital Copy)

Video of the Week: We are coming close to the end of Breast Cancer Awareness month, but before we turn the calendar HBO will be airing The Education of Dee Dee Ricks about the self made millionaire who was diagnosed with the disease and learned how difficult the disease can be for those without the insurance she relayed on to win her fight and is now deternmained to do something about it. Look out for the movie this Thursday at 8:30. Check out the trailer below:



Next Week Pick of the Week: Beavis and Butt-Head, Thursday at 10:00 on MTV: Wake up the thirteen year old version of yourself, take off your thinking caps, and lower your standards because Beavis and Butt-Head are back.



Friday, October 21, 2011

Around the Tubes - 10/21/11


I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Strike Back, American Masters, Twenty, Web Therapy, Rock Center, Franklin and Bash, The Novogratz, American Horror Story, NBC and Showtime programming, and Cafe Press.


- The season finale of Strike Back hits Cimamax tonight at 10:00 and here is a preview of what you can expect:



- American Masters is celebrating its twenty-fifth anniversary this year while Pearl Jam is celebrating their twentieth together. So the former is going to honor the latter by airing the Cameron Crowe directed documentary about the band Twenty premiering tonight at 9:00 on PBS. Check out the trailer below:

Watch Pearl Jam Twenty on PBS. See more from American Masters.



- Selma Blair is the latest client for Lisa Kudrow on Web Therapy and you can watch the episode Bring Up Babies over at LStudio.com.

- Naturally Rock Center with Brian Williams will be premiering on Halloween night (at 10:00 on NBC) and here is a promo:



- The boys of Franklin and Bash returned to the set this week to start filming the second season, and there were not alone. Also showing up next season will be Cybill Shepard, Eric Mabius, and Rick Fox. Look for the episodes to air next summer. Check out a picture from the set below:

Mark Paul Gosselaar and Breckin Meyer get ready for the second season of Franklin and Bash


- Also recently returning to production is The Novogratz which is currently working on thirteen new episodes for HGTV set to return April 2012.

- Marathon Alert! On Halloween night, FX will be airing all four previously aired episode of their latest program, American Horror Story starting at 10:00.

- As we close in on the holidays, NBC has announced some of their specials airing the next couple months including The Biggest Loser: Where Are They Now (11/23); the broadcast premiere of Dr. Suess’ Horton Hears a Who! (Thanksgiving Night) followed by The 85th Anniversary of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade; Christmas in Rockefeller Center 2011 (11/30); a special holiday episode of The Sing-Off (12/5); A Michael Buble Christmas Variety Special (12/6); William and Kate: Inside the Royal Wedding (12/13); WWE Tribute to the Troops (12/17); Saturday Night Lice Presents: a Very Gilly Christmas (12/20); and of course It’s a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve. Before then president Barack Obama will be returning to The Tonight Show for his fourth time next Tuesday. Also returning to NBC is Fear Factor coming Monday December 2 at 8:00.

- Even further in the future, Showtime has recently released its Fall/Winter programming Overview including the series premiere of House of Lies (1/8/12 at 10:00) starring Dob Cheadle and Veronica Mars; returning shows Shameless (1/8/12 at 9:00) and Californication (1/8/12 at 10:30); and documentaries From the Sky Down (10/29/11 at 8:00), The Last Play at Shea (11/11/11 at 9:30) Saint Misbehavin’ the Wavy Gravy Movie (11/17/11 at 7:55) and Thespians (11/10/11 at 7:30).

- And for the latest installment of political item of the week; we still are a couple months away from voting, but that have not stopped people from trying to figure out who will be the Republican nominee by trolling over all the data. Like Herman Cain currently has 58% of all GOP nominees related items bought on Café Press. Longtime frontrunner Mitt Romney although only amounts to 6% and whose highest selling items just happen to be flip flops. You cannot even make this stuff up.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Best of Soul


Last year Rolling Stone released a “Playlist Issue” that saw a bunch of artists list their ten favorite songs from a genre, niche, or other artists which let me to suggest that this become a yearly issue. Apparently Jann Wenner was listening because they just released the second annual issue (with Steve Jobs on the cover). What I like about these issues it gives me new suggestion from some of my favorite artists and deep cuts playlist from other artists I enjoy but never fully dug deep into. And who would have guessed Ke$ha’s Party Starting playlist wouldn’t suck? In honor of the issue I thought I would dig out one of my most requested mixtapes I made in college that was so loved, I was asked to make multiple volumes of, The Best of Soul. I this first one is a quick primer so those that have yet to dig deep into the classics yet like so many my age at the time to sample. And for more great musical suggestion I highly recommend to pick up the latest issue of Rolling Stone.

1. Lovely Day - Bill Withers
2. Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder
3. Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
4. Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
5. Just the Two of Us - Grover Washington, Jr. & Bill Withers
6. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You) - Marvin Gaye
7. Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
8. Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder
9. Superstition - Stevie Wonder
10. Use Me - Bill Withers
11. Stand By Me - Ben E. King
12. What's Going On - Marvin Gaye
13. Lean On Me - Bill Withers
14. Pastime Paradise - Stevie Wonder
15. Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology) - Marvin Gaye
16. Living for the City - Stevie Wonder
17. I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
18. Lately - Stevie Wonder
19. Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers
20. As - Stevie Wonder



Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Want My Music Television - 10/19/11


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Red Solo Cup – Toby Keith



If Schrodinger's Cat means that something can be alive and dead at the same time, is there a corollary that a song can be simultaneously the greatest and worst song ever made. If so: ladies and gentlemen, the latest Toby Keith song.


Lucky Now - Ryan Adams



How do you make Ryan Adams more depressingly sad? Apparently all you have to do is put him in an empty house that is just starting to fall apart.


Love on Top – Beyoncé



Well that was boring; Beyoncé just did the same dance routine from the VMA’s in the same loft from the Countdown video, but with more costume changes.


Nasty - Nas



I swear I this video a long time ago. Are we sure that Nas did not release this same video back in 1998?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Twin Scorned


Alexandra Chando: the only reason to watch The Lying Game

There should be a workshop that every writer for serial television shows should go to. And the 101 class has to arcing a season. The number one rule in the class is set up the mystery, ask questions throughout the season, answer them by the end of the season, and then set up some new questions for the next season. For reference, watch any of the seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Veronica Mars. For what not to do, watch the first season of Lost which spent the final three hours of the show figuring out a way to open the hatch and then nothing. Or go back and reread all the hate surrounding the recent The Killing season finale.

I bring this up for my season wrap-up of The Lying Game because I went into the finale expecting some of the big questions to be answered. Why did the Mercer’s only adopt Sutton? Why did Annie take back Emma after she was adopted? How do Ted and Alex fit into this? What is Justin hiding and does it have to do something with the twins? And what the frack is The Lying Game which was mentioned early in the season, but never actually explained? Then an hour later and not a one of those big questions were answered and in a Lostian tradition, the set up a few more questions like who was in the car with Sutton, was that really Annie at the party, and where did Alec disappear to (assuming he was not telling the truth).

I originally thought it was Annie in the car, but if that really was her at the party, the only other serious possibility was Char’s boyfriend. If it was him, that would explain where Alex was, he was getting him in the car to do more undercover work for him and really the only other character we know that was not at the party was Ethan’s brother and though he seems he may also have some shady history with Alec, I doubt it was him.

But I guess it may have been too much to ask when the show was created from the books that were also authored by another criminally bad question answerer Pretty Little Liars. And the episode breakdown and pacing for The Lying Game seemed off all season. It took them way too long to get Sutton in Emma’s shoes, which turned out to be way more entertaining than the vice versa (WAY OFF TOPIC ALERT! remember the great Judge Reinhold / Fred Savage movie, you know, back when body switching was fun; ah the good old days).

It did not help that aside from Alexandra Chando, who lit up the screen in the dual roles, the rest of the cast were utter bores. The second most interesting character was that of Alec but he was relegated to recurring status which makes me think he may be found out for his misgivings sooner than later. But then again, that would assume they answer some questions in the near future. That is not to say I will definitely stop watching, but hopefully if I do continue to watch when it returns in January, they figure a way to work in more Becky Sproles, she could replace any of Sutton’s friends and I do not think any viewers would care, or even notice.

A quick prediction for season two (besides a lack of answers): Emma continues to be Sutton while Sutton sits in a coma as Emma because she still has her ID when brought to the hospital. Unless season two is too early for an amnisia plot.

The Lying Game gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.



Monday, October 17, 2011

First Impressions: The Walking Dead 2.x


Behind the scenes turmoil is never a good indicator of onscreen quality. Usually these problems stem from creative disagreements between the producers and the network. Though most is speculation at this point, what we do know about the second season of The Walking Dead is that creator Frank Darabont and AMC parted ways early into the filming and is was not a very amicable decision. The shakeup really puts the thirteen episode season set for this season in question as will it live up to the promise to the first season.

That is not to saw the first season did not have its flaws even with Darabont in complete control (even Frank may have seen the shortcomings, firing the writing staff in between seasons, starting off all the behinds the scenes gossip surrounding the show). The one minute recap at the start of the episode was so short but comprehensive it makes you wonder why it took seven hours to tell that story.

With the trip to the CDC a dead end (quite literally as it blew up), at the start of the second season, a band of not so merry men are heading out to an army base and naturally hit a road block where a disturbing about of people chose to die in their cars. Naturally a pack of Walkers were not far behind which makes you wonder where there were going. Do they have some natural instinct that is leading them somewhere or did they think they heard something and just went that way and did not stop?

The season premiere also broke down like one from the first; the cast is going nowhere and then they get sidetracked as a plot point, this time around the young girl goes missing in the wood and you really cannot go shouting her names as not to alert the zombies. And after an hour of searching, she is still missing. But we of course get a cliffhanger in that the young boy got shot while looking at a deer in a weird scene. Seriously, who goes up to pet a wild deer? But anyway.

The episode did show possibly the most gruesome scenes to date. Even though I had eaten dinner four hours earlier, opening up of the zombie to see what he had eaten earlier made me quite a bit queasy (and brought back flashbacks of biology class when we had to dissect animals to see what they had eaten). Also high on the creepy-meter was opening up the church to find three Sitters just at the pew staring at Jesus. Also cool and gruesome as these season are, much like season one I find myself wondering when The Walking Dead will kick into high gear.

The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9:00 on AMC. You can stream episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.



Sunday, October 16, 2011

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/16/11


Pan Am: The sixties seem so long ago, and WWII even longer it is hard to put the two in perspective for one person’s lifetime. It never really dawned on me why Collette would avoid Berlin up to this point, and when she said why I did not realize why it would hit her so hard until she told her story at the end of the episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pan Am on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: C’mon Marshall, the second season of Friday Night Lights was not that bad. If FNL were U2, season two would be Pop, yeah it is not as good as the rest of their catalogue, but it is still better than ninety percent of music out there.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Sing Off: First off, it is time to retire “pitch” from the judges vocabulary, they all use it way too often. Sonos really got a bad rap for their version of I Want You Back. You want an example of the song that does not share the iconic hook but is still great check out The Civil Wars version. I would have had them above The Collective and Pentatonix (who continued their streak of horrible songs this week) and maybe even the Deltones. The stand out performance (and I cannot believe I am saying this considering the show featured Antoine Meriwether singing about balls that inspired Shawn Stockman to talk about ding dings) was the old dudes doing The Dougie in lounge chairs. And not to get too Adam Levine on you, but I have never heard The Rocketeer song before, is that really considered a hit? But anyway. Here is my Power Rakings for the second week (and their movement from last week in parentheses):

1. Dartmouth Aires (-)
2. North Shore (-)
3. Afro Blue (+1)
4. Urban Method (+2)
5. The Yellowjackets (-2)
6. The Deltones (-1)
7. Vocal Point (+2)
8. Delilah (-)
9. Pentatonix (+2)
10. The Collective (-)



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Sing-Off on iTunes.

The Lying Game: They really did a poor job braking down the story because they took way too long to get Sutton to Las Vegas because Sutton in Sin City is way more enjoyable than Emma in Phoenix. And unfortunately Sutton only stays there for one episode. But it should be an interesting reaction from Sutton when she realized someone took over her life and none of her friends and family noticed but Becky Spoles knew she was not Emma right away.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: The was a nice trick to have someone in witness relocation fake their own death to make the transition easier, but how do you avoid the family from seeing the body before the funeral? I am also trying to figure out who looked sillier this week, Detective Esposito or Adam Braverman.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Parenthood: It is about time someone called out Jason Ritter for whatever that is that is sitting on his face. Many cite poor writing and bad acting that sank The Event, but it is clearly his choice of facial hair that doomed that show. A note to every guy out there, if you cannot connect your goatee with your moustache, then you should really shave every day. But anyway. In the least surprising turn of events, the latte girl decided to give Julia her baby. I wonder if there is a chance they also adopt the latte girl and make her an official Braverman too.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Gee, if a porn star and a gang member cannot make it after about a month, what chance do the rest of us have? Onto more surprising news, was it common knowledge that Tig had two daughters? I vaguely remember it being alluded to but I do not actually remember either of them ever show up before.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: South Pacific: That has to go down as one of the most disgusting, and evil challenges ever (making contests bite down on protein but making them spit it out). And Keith may have to be a late addition to my list of The Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever because his voting strategies may be the dumbest in the alphabet one. Instead of choosing side (and essentially controlling your tribe) now both Ozzie and Jim’s new alliance cannot trust you. Going into the merge with a tribe fractured like this spells certain doom (unless Brandon goes Brandon again messing with the Coach alliance). Even though he has the hidden immunity Idol in his back pocket, I wonder if Ozzie’s best strategy is to allowed getting voted out next, go to Redemption Island and hope to win, come back into the game with his Idol in tack and assess the situation then.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Survivor on iTunes


Modern Family: The four guys tackling the fake ID guy may be the funniest sight gag since Cameron hoisted baby Lily to the sounds of The Lion King back in the very first episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Modern Family on iTunes


Revenge: What a letdown Hamptonsexposed.com is. They just have the same videos we saw in the episode and dummy links that lead to the show’s Facebook, Twitter and ABC pages.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: If it wrong that the Troy getting the pizza was the only timeline that I actually laughed during?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Lyrics Quiz: Food


Today is Blog Action Day and this year’s theme is food and I thought I would dedicate this month’s Lyrics Quiz to the subject. Although it was a bit harder than I thought as there are not too many songs about food outside of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s catalogue and of the few that are, about ninty percent of them are not so thinly veiled euphemisms for sex so I have also included some bands named after food. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. Then my heart hit a problem in the early hours so I stopped it dead for a beat or two. But I cut some cord and I shouldn’t have done it, and it won’t forgive me after all these years. (Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall; guessed by Angie)
2. We bought some wine and some paper cups near your daughter’s school and we picked her up and drove to a cemetery on a hill.
3. I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes. Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies. You never know just how you look through other people’s eyes.

4. I don’t mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadence. But I can’t feed on the powerless when my cup’s already overfilled. (Hunger Strike - Temple of the Dog; guessed by Doug)
5. I poked my finger down inside. Made a little room for an ant to hide. Nature’s candy in my hand or can or pie. (Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America; guessed by Angie)
6. Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. Them good ol’ boys were drinking whiskey and rye. (American Pie - Don MacLean; guessed by Doug)
7. I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you’ll like. I’m fine and dandy with the me inside. One look in the mirror and I’m tickled pink. I don’t give a hoot about what you think.
8. I have never been so insulted in all my life. I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride. First you run like a fool just to be by my side and now you run like a fool, but you just run to hide and I can’t abide.

9. In touch with the ground, I’m on the hunt down after you. Smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd. (Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran; guessed by Doug)
10. So their eyes are growing hazy ‘cause they wanna turn it on. So their minds are soft and lazy, well.
11. How come you’re always such a fussy young man? Don’t want no Capt’n Crunch, don’t want no Raisin Brain. Well don’t you know that other kids are starving in Japan? (Eat It - "Weird Al" Yankovic; guessed by Angie)
12. I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you. So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? (Linger - The Cranberries; guessed by Angie)
13. All I can do is just pour some tea for two and speak my point of view. But it’s not sane. (No Rain - Blind Melon; guessed by Doug)
14. No more promise no more sorrow, no longer will I follow. Can anybody hear me, I just want to be me.
15. Realize I don’ want to be a miser. Confide with Sly you’ll be the wiser. Young blood is the lovin’ upriser. (Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers; guessed by Doug)
16. Tell me something; tell me something that I don’t already know.
17. I know that a man ain’t supposed to cry, but these tears I can't hold inside. Losing you would end my life you see, ‘cause you mean that much to me. (I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye; guessed by Angie)
18. I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes. Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. (Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett; guessed by Angie)
19. And homegrown and down-home, that makes one. Cooking up that old time, long lost recipe for me.
20. You got the peaches, I got the cream. Sweet to taste, saccharine. (Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard; guesse by Doug)
21. I’m so addicted to the loving that you’re feeding to me. Can’t do without it this feeling’s got me weak in the knees. Body's in withdrawal every time you take it away. (Candy - Mandy Moore; guessed by Angie)
22. I scream, you scream we all scream for her. Don’t even try ‘cause you can’t ignore her. (Cherry Pie - Warrant; guessed by Angie)
23. A million poppies gonna make me sleep. Just one rose that knows your name. The fruit is rustling on the vine. The fruit is calling from the trees. (Low - Cracker; guessed by Doug)
24. This is the straw, final straw in the roof of my mouth as I lie to you. Just because I’m sorry doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it at the time.
25. The fellas wanna have a barbeque tonight, I think it’s on about five. They say it’s gonna have plenty Daisy Dukes, and Les says it’s gonna be live. (Getto Jam - Domino; guessed by Doug)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Best of the Week - 10/14/11


Quote of the Week: This is the third Teenage Dream in forty-five minutes; why don’t I just close my nuts in the cashier’s door? (Garrett Morris – 2 Broke Girls)

Song of the Week: Torn – Natalie Imbruglia (as sung by Penny and her mom, Happy Endings)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Hank Williams Jr. Is a Moron and So Is Anyone Who Tries to Despiser His Ramblings: Last week Fox and Friends had country singer Hank Williams, Jr. to talk politics because apparently Dick Cheney was unavailable. Like most people in America, Hank is fed up with our political parties and said about Obama’s golf game with Speaker of the House Boehner was, “Come on! It would be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu!” Naturally this made the talking head head’s explode thinking he compared Obama and Hitler. But really, trying to make sense of what Williams was trying to say only makes you dumber than he is. And to say Williams compared Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler would be like saying he compared John Boehner to Benjamin Netanyahu, which no one is saying but is just as absurd. Now if you excuse, I am going to go watch Fox and Friends because they are going to interview the dude from Wham not named George Michael about the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Free Download of the Week: Ole´ – Pearl Jam (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Up to 55% Off Hit Movies and TV on Blu-ray (Earnest Scared Straight, Ghostbusters, Dawn of the Dead)

New Album Release of the Week: Beyond the Sun (2CD) - Chris Isaak

New DVD Release of the Week: Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest

Video of the Week: Showtime has released a new teaser for their upcoming show House of Lies and just like the last one that featured AC/DC’s Big Balls, the new one is also balls-centric.

Newton’s Cradle (ouse of Lies Spot)


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Walking Dead, Sunday at 9:00 on AMC: The first season of The Walking Dead is one of those shows that you think it is better than it really is (a staple for AMC). Sure the first season was epic with great characterizations, zombie makeup, and you really felt the sparseness and isolation of the post apocalyptic world. But looking back at the first season, it is hard not to think that the six episodes could have been crammed into just two. There are big reservations going into the second season after creator and showrunner Frank Darabont got unceremoniously canned by the network after the first episode in the new season. But for those that cannot get enough of the show, right after it airs, there will be a new series Talking Dead, a live after-show where Chris Hardwick (you know, the one from Singled Out not named Jenny McCarthy) discussing the episode with fans, actors, and producers (presumably Darabont will not be making an appearance) because why wouldn’t a serious drama steal an idea from MTV? But anyway. For more on the second season, check out the video below where Attack of the Show’s Grace Helbig visits the set of the show.



Thursday, October 13, 2011

Around the Tubes - 10/13/11


I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Sing Your Song, A Game of Honor, ANA Alliance for Family Entertainment, Aim High, The Sing-Off, and Too Fat for 40.

- Harry Belfonte is the subject of HBO’s latest documentary airing Monday at 10:00. Check out a trailer for Sing Your Song below:



- Showtime has their own documentary A Game of Honor premiering Wednesday December 21 about the vaunted Army-Navy football game. CBSSports.com will be airing a companion ten week web series leading up to the film starting Monday. Check out a trailer below:



- Ever watch television and think to yourself, I could write something funnier than that show? Well dust off you screenplay because the ANA Alliance for Family Entertainment (who have put their support in the past behind Everybody Hates Chris and Friday Night Lights) is sponsoring a writing contest looking for a show about a modern American family. Head over to comedywritercontest.com to submit your script for a chance to win $5000 and receive input from producer John Wells (ER). The deadline is October 28.

- Next Tuesday, Warner Bros. Digital Distribution will launch the first ever social series from a Hollywood studio Aim High. The series will debut on Facebook and star Friday Night Light’s Aimee Teegarden, Jackson Rathbone and Greg Germann. If you watch, you can actually see yourself and your friends integrated into select scenes throughout the series.

- Let’s forget for a second that The Sing-Off will kick off their Guilty pleasures episode with a Lionel Richie song (if you feel guilty for listening to Lionel Richie, you have some serious problems), and focus on judge Ben Folds who recruited some familiar faces, and a lot of them, to promote his new best of album The Best Imitation of Myself: A Retrospective (1991-2011).



- In stores Tuesday is Kevin Smith’s Too Fat for 40 on Blu-Ray and DVD. In addition to the original two hour special is the uncut three and a half hour Q&A session and over five hours of content.



Wednesday, October 12, 2011

First Impressions: Last Man Standing


The cast of Last Man Standing

As a child of the late eighties and early nineties, naturally I was a big fan of ABC’s TGIF lineups: Full House, Family Matters, Boy Meets World, I even watched Just the Ten of Us. But at the turn of the century, the family sitcom seemed to die out or just were not funny (seriously, According to Jim ran for the entire decade). Now in a new decade, the family sitcom is making a comeback and naturally on ABC, although it is not their Friday lineup, but on Wednesdays with The Middle, Suburgatory, and Modern Family dominating in the ratings.

Oddly the comedy night is anchored by Happy Endings while new family sitcom Last Man Standing airs Tuesdays, with a similar man-themes show instead of a family block (what a great lead in for Dancing with the Has-Beens). Tuesday also happened to be the same day Tim Allen’s old show; the perennial top ten rated Home Improvement aired for almost a decade.

For Last Man Standing, instead of three boys, this time around Tim has three girls: the single mom (Alexandra Kronsey, Lost’s young Eloise Hawking), the whiny one (Molly Ephraim, Paranormal Activity 2’s adopted daughter), and the tomboy (Kaitlyn Dever, Justified’s Loretta McCready, who managed to go toe to toe acting wise with Timothy Olyphant and Margo Martindale despite only being in middle school). Patricia Richardson has been traded out for Nancy Travis (The Bill Engvall Show). Instead of a television show, this time around, Tim makes rants on the internet for his sporting goods store. No Al or Wilson equivalents, but some extra Y chromosomes are provided by Hector Elizondo (Valentine's Day) who show up as Tim’s boss and Christoph Sanders (Legally Blondes) as one of his employees who Tim accidentally set up him up with the wrong daughter.

For better or worse, Last Man Standing is basically what you would expect what Home Improvement would look like if Tim had girls instead of boys, there are plenty jokes about gender roles and how man no longer acting like men. The jokes are cheap, the situations cheesy, and the characters over the top and I laughed constantly. Last Man Standing may be a show straight out of the nineties, but I have absolutely no problem with that. Hopefully Loretta can get her buddy Raylan Gibbons to make an appearance sometime.

Last Man Standing airs Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC. You can stream the show on Hulu. You can also download Last Man Standing on iTunes.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Nobody has to Cry to Make it Seem Real


Ashes and Fire - Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams was the most prolific singer of the last decade releasing ten albums, even doing so by taking 2009 off. Actually, aside from three albums worth of leftovers, it has been three years since Adams has released new material. In that time, Ryan married Mandy Moore putting some worry that the songwriter who makes the greatest extremely depressing songs in modern times may become too happy.

For those drawn to Adam’s music by his sad sap side, despite his newlywed status, his new album Ashes and Fire may not hit the lowest lows as albums like Cold Roses or 29 do, but the new album is filled with plenty of sad songs to help mend your broken heart (or break it in more pieces depending what you expect to get out of listing to sad songs). And if these types of songs are your favorites, skip straight to Save Me which will have your forgiving him for making you wait three years for his latest batch of depressingly sad songs. And sure the marriage may have given him a more positive outlook on life, I Love You but I Don’t Know What to Say manages to be heartbreaking and beautifully uplifting at the same time.

The other big change in-between record was Ryan broke with frequent collaborators The Cardinals who played on four of his last five albums. Without his backing band on the album, Ashes and Fire maybe his most sparse album yet with most songs featuring Ryan on guitar, some drums and the occasional piano courtesy of Norah Jones who also does some backing vocals on the album. Aside from his usual depression songs, the standout tracks are the two that open the album when Adams goes back to his alt-country roots for Dirty Rain and the title track. After such a long layoff, Ashes and Fire is a nice return and I look forward for Ryan Adams to get back to his regular recording schedule and his next album which presumably be out sometime before Christmas.

Song to Download – Ashes & Fire

Ashes and Fire gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.