The start of the television season is upon us, though it
feels like it already started as many big shows started last week. Though, it reality, it feels like the
television season did not even end with a constant stream of notable shows
popping up during what typically been a barren wasteland for scripted television. But I digress. The unofficial start of the television season
is when I like to ask a couple questions that hopefully get answered by the end
of the season… if the season actually ever ends in the era of streaming.
1.
Who Will Win the IP War: Marvel, Game of
Thrones, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?
Labor Day is when temperatures start to fall with the unofficial end of
summer, but things are already heating up on television. We have three episodes of She-Hulk and House
of the Dragon as well as two episodes of Rings of Power. Then the day before the official first day of
fall, Andor premieres. Marvel, Game of
Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars represent the three biggest names on
television right now (sorry DC and Walking Dead who also recently launched less buzzworthy shows). HBO says Hot D got 10 million
viewers for its premiere and increased that for the second episode. Then Prime said 25 million people watched
Ring (though a bit apples to oranges because Hot D was just Americans and Rings
were worldwide). The Ploose did not give
out She-Hulk numbers, but something called Samba TV claims 1.5 million households
watched the premiere, but again households to people can be apple to oranges). That viewership went up seems like Hot D is
currently in prime position to win the IP wars.
The low states comedy of She-Hulk will probably come in last with Andor
being the dark horse. The last two Star
Wars shows were not well received but Rogue One was one of the bright spots of
the Disney era Star Wars properties. But
what is clear, there will be a round two.
2.
Who the Fork Is Lottie Matthews?!? Fewer things got me more hyped while watching
television over the past year than listening to Natalie’s voice mail on Yellowjackets
when her AA sponsor found out who emptied Travis’s bank account and asked her,
“Who the fork is Lottie Matthews.” Sure,
my theory that Lottie was Pit Girl went out the window, but considering how
Lottie went from a background character to a crazy Antler Queen, I am not
disappointed. If she could go off the rails
after a couple months, just how crazy has she become twenty-five year later? Unfortunately the show already spoiled her acolyte
Van is still alive when they announced Lauren Ambrose has been cast as an adult
version. Elijah Wood has also been cast,
but thankfully not as adult Javi in another spoiler, but as one of Misty’s
Citizen Detectives.
3.
What Now on The Handmaid’s Tale? After three seasons of torture porn, June actually
managed to escape Gilliad last season and celebrated by brutally murdering Commander
Waterford. So what do you do after escaping
and killing your capture? Well, June
still needs to rescue her daughter who is still in Gilliad. Hopefully that does not take three seasons to
accomplish. And while the Commander is
dead, his widow is still very much alive.
Though one person we will not be seeing is Emily who has been written
off the show. Though no big loss as she
had not added much to the show after escaping back in season two.
4.
Will Dr. Ben Seong Run Into Dr. Samuel Beckett? For years I have been asking for a Quantum Leap
reboot with Sam playing the Al role.
While we are getting a Quantum Leap reboot, the leaper is still a dude and
the Al sand in will be played by Ernie Hudson.
Sigh. Now the question is, will
the new leaper eventually run into Sam? Here is hoping he will and it will be sooner rather
than later.
5.
Who Killed Pail Rudd and When Will We Find Out? Much like the first season of Only Murders in the Building ended with a teaser
of a new murder, season two ended will Paul Rudd dying on stage shortly after having
a tense exchange with Charles Hayden Savage and a notably shaken Mabel in
shock. Was Mabel the “she” Charles told
Paul Rudd to stay away from? The list of
alternatives is not very long. Lucy is
too young but could Lucy’s mom be back in the picture. Then there is the question of when will the
third season premiere. Season two actually
arrived two months earlier than the first, could we get the third season two
more months earlier? That would put it
in late April. For Emmy reason, it is
doubtful, but the Emmy window ending in late May, a premiere around that time
does not seem out of the question. Then
the other question remains, if Paul Rudd was murdered on stage, will they need
to change the name of Only Murders in the Building?
As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, how would we know if something was cool if there weren't things that sucked; here are the five least anticipated questions
1.
Who Will Survive the Walking Dead? It is the end of the era, after ten seasons,
the last as which was split into three parts; The Waling Dead is coming to an
end. So who will survive? Well, Daryl and Carole have already been announced
for a spin-off show (though Carole dropped out) as well as one with Maggie and Negan so
I am guess those four survive unless those shows will just be those zombiefied
four around eating stupid humans. Actually,
that may actually be better than what we will likely get.
2.
Who Will Survive The CW Sale? It was a bloodbath last spring when The CW canceled
three of its female fronted superhero television shows (Stargirl was lucky in that it had
not aired yet). The Flash has already
been announced for a final season which will leave just Stargirl, Superman, and
the upcoming Gotham Knights as the lone superhero shows. Will any of them or the other low performing
show make the cut after the new owners have full control? Who care, no one will likely watch either way.
3.
Who Will Survive the HBO Max / Discovery Merger? The new CEO comes in, axes the almost
completed Batgirl and the internet turns into Chicken Little. Someone even claimed HBO Max would stop making
originals and current originals would move to HBO. Stupid people. While this month HBO Max will premiering… um,
just about nothing, a sizzle real that launched with Hot D promises new seasons
of Pennyworth (coming next month) Titans, Doom Patrol, Hacks Minx, Our Flag Means
Death, coming soon. Okay, the only new
show is some new show with Elizabeth Olsen based on a story Hulu already did earlier
this year. So the merger may mean less
content coming from HBO Max / Discover, but in an era of too much television,
that may not be such a bad thing
4.
Who Will Survive NBC Axing the 10:00 Hour? This rumor just hit the internet recently launching
a thousand Jay Leno jokes. But if NBC
does end up axing six hours every week, what will be left? Sadly, it will probably not be what historically
NBC has done best: comedies. They are no
sitcoms premiering this month, though Young Rock and some George Lopez show are
coming to Fridays in November. But
losing 10:00 would also mean no full nights of Chicago or Law and Order
shows. Though what will become of ambitious
shows like La Brea that NBC tries every year?
What surprises me about this is that linear television is still very
profitable and NBC’s streaming sister, Peacock is the one that seems to be
struggling the most. It seems like a
very poor business move. But if we get
less procedurals, maybe that will not be such a bad thing. Speaking of which…
5. Just How Many Spin-Off Are There? Law and Order and Chicago are not the only
shows that dominate an entire night, FBI, All-American, and Walker all take up a
full day of programing. NCIS and The
Rookie do have shows on different nights while Grey’s Anatomy takes up multiple
timeslots on Thursday . Surprisingly we are
down to just the original CSI this fall.
Who are watching all these shows and their spin-offs?
Here is everything I will be watching this fall... Why the fork are there so many shows on Wednesdays? How about spreading things out?
Mondays
8:00 – The Neighborhood (CBS, September 19(
9:00 – Kevin Can Fork Himself (AMC, already started)
10:00 – Quantum Leap (NBC, September 19)
Tuesdays
Reboot (Hulu, September 20)
9:00 - La Brea (NBC, September 27)
Wednesdays
Wedding Season (Hulu, September 7)
Tell Me Lies (Hulu, September 7)
The Handmaid’s Tale (September 14)
Andor (Disney+, September 21)
Pitch Perfect: Bumper in Berlin (Peacock, November 23)
8:00 – Stargirl (The CW, already started)
8:00 – Survivor (CBS, September 21)
8:30 – The Goldbergs (ABC, September 21)
9:00 – Abbott Elementary (ABC, September 21)
10:00 – Big Sky (ABC, September 21)
Thursdays
Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount+, already started)
She-Hulk (Disney+, already started)
The Lord of the Ring: The Rings of Power (Prime, already started)
A Friend of the Family (Peacock, October 6)
8:30 – Ghosts (CBS, September 29)
Fridays
Ramy (Hulu, September 30)
8:00 – Young Rock (NBC, November 4)
Sundays
9:00 – House of the Dragon (HBO, already started)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (AMC, October 2)
10:00 – Let the Right One In (Showtime, October 9)