57 Channels and Only This Is On: October 9, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  I am not sure if it says more about me or the show that I found the kid fight the most entertaining thing this show has done so far.  But it is nice to see that Ser Cristian Cole has a line and that line is plucking out the eye of a young kid.  Then the best part of the aftermath was Daemon just hanging out in the back even though his kids were the ones that instigated the whole thing.  But I do wonder where the Sea Snake will land on the impending war between the greens and the blacks.  Both of his children were married to people who quickly married each other after becoming widows.  But they still have four grandchildren, though two bare someone else’s name and while the other two have his name, they certainly do not have his hair.  Of course the way to solve this problem is, in the grand Valerian tradition, is to just marry the cousins to each other, and then their kids would carry on the Valerian name and blood (as long as they do not become king and take the Targaryen name).  It is gross that I actually thought of this as a solution.

 

The Walking Dead:  Yippie, part 3 of the final season is upon us.  Except I vaguely remember what happened in part two.  I remember the evil dude going to Negan’s compound and killing people and that is why he is chasing them, but I forget what was going on in the city and why those people are being chased.  Worse, I do not even care to search the internet to find out why.

 

Quantum Leap: So Al’s daughter has what I assume is a hologram room somewhere, so will Ben have two people talking to him?  Will the two holograms be able to see / hear each other?  Will Al’s daughter be able to block the other chick somehow?  I say this every week and will likely continue to say it until I will it into existence, but just have Al’s daughter be the hologram and get rid of everyone else in 2022.  But it looks like Ben is already jumping into female bodies, I looked it up and this did not happen until the second season of the original, thirteenth episode overall.

 

La Brea:  The most interesting setup of the second season was Scott going into the big glass building in the middle of 10,000 BC, yet he does not show up until the end of the episode and they seemingly just yadda-yaddaed him going into the building.  They better be filling in the gap in the next episode because that building in the most interesting part of the show.  Where did it come from?  Who build it?  How did they build it?  Could they be rewarding the cave people for uncovering the stuff they are digging for?  And just how hard would it be to get into that hole in 1988?  There cannot be a barricade with police all around it, just walk until you find a gap. 

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  So June is now back under the control of Giliad?  I know every other time she escape and was captured, she was returned with mostly a slap on the wrist, but they cannot just put her back as being a handmaid after murdering a Commander and helping so many escape with her.  Even if they do send her back to like as a handmaid, is the show really going back to season one thru three?  And Luke definably should not be spared.  Yet, I am sure both will somehow survive, and hopefully escape.  Then is Serena a prisoner now?  It seems like she is very limited as to what she can do and where she can do at that house she is living at.

 

Tell Me Lies:  Bree sure like using her hand.  At least she found someone to reciprocate.  So those two are just going to date for the next six or so years?  Will Bree ever learn how Evan confessed his love to Lucy? 

 

Survivor:  Those guys really made the wrong choice there; the time to dump Nnecka was last week.  One of them even said they made their bed now they have to lay in it.  They already burned that bridge with Noelle and the other dude (whose name I still have not bothered to learn, like most people this season), how are they supposed to trust them?  If they go back, it is 2-2, and they will stuck having to go with a 50-50 shot to correctly play the idol.  Might as well vote off Noelle this week, and then they could get rid of the guy if they go back. 

 

Stargirl:  I really hope Shiv reconsiders Mike and Jakeem’s offer because that trio could be like a bad 80’s teen comedy right there.  Maybe they can have the pink pen force her to join their sub faction.  But she will need some new allies after Wildcat found the Gambler’s laptop in he room

 

Big Sky:  Yeah, I guess it makes perfect sense the creepy psychopath is obsessed with Miley Cyrus.  But what exactly will creepy momma do with the knowledge that Cassie is on to him?  And does Cassie know he is creepy momma’s kid?

 

She-Hulk:  He was not quite Madisynn, but the Rabbit guy was fairly entertaining in his own right.  But Todd has to behind this all.  Though, it would be hilarious if it turns out to be Mephisto who is behind everything.  That kind of would be the perfect way to end the season.  With all the winking this show does, it is surprising they did not do any Mephisto teasing, but I guess they did write this long before Wandavision premiered.

 

Pennyworth:  So the last season ended with the start of a civil war and the new season starts five year later skipping over all the fighting and Britain (mostly) back to normal.  How very Hot D of them.  But Lucius has a basement full of meta-humans, I have feeling the blue guy will not be the only one escaping this season.

 

A Friend of the Family:  I have got through the first two episodes (releasing two episodes up front in mildly annoying, but four episodes is absurd, especially when you are just doing 9 total and they are all pushing a full hour).  That first episode was boring, and then the second episode was extremely weird.  I just do not know how they stretch this story out to seven more episodes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 25

 

House of the Dragon:  We have heard about her for a while and we finally get to meet Daemon’s wife and she did not disappoint, just mocking him, she will be a great addition to the cast… oh wait, she is already dead.  Well, fork.  Also gone really quick, the Sea Snake’s kid’s lover.  Maybe not try and blackmail a King’s Guard member.  Sign and now we are in for the largest time jump.  Shockingly the king was still in the previews for next week.  Just how long is that dud going to survive.

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  A strong end to the season, I am always down for a haunted house (though not really down for bird murder).  Here is my official ranking of season one:

1)      Evie / Joe

2)      La Doña

3)      Blair / Gina

4)      Amy / Dr. Everett

5)      Dee

6)      Davon

 

City on a Hill:  I am actually a little surprised that the priest was the one who took a shot at Jackie.  Though, the suspect was very long.  Also surprising is that Dryden got wind of the investigation into him.  Will they be able to take him down with just one episode left this season?

 

Quantum Leap:  I have been asking for a reboot of this show ever since the reboot craze started about a decade or so ago.  Unfortunately they did not take me up on my suggestion of having Sam be the new Al.  They could not even get Scott Bakula at all.  After seeing what the show became, I am not surprised that he passed on the show.  What a flaming piece of hot garbage filled with too many people who cannot act including a scientist who thinks it is socially acceptable to show up to work in a suit fashioned like a crop top. As a whole, they just spent way too much time in 2022.  I vaguely remember one episode of the original spending one episode mostly in its present day, but was about it.  We rarely ever saw Al not in hologram form. This show needs to make a hard pivot and soon.  Have Ernie Hudson be the new Al, have Al’s daughter, who I am guessing will turn out to be doing her own rogue Quantum Leap program, and just get rid of everyone else from 2022.

 

Reboot:  Okay, I laughed way too hard at the song they played at the end of episode two.  But the Hulu executive may end up being the sneaky best part of the show, but I kind of feel bad for the actual head of comedy (but hey, they did give up this show, Only Murders in the Building, Dollface, and The Great).  And you have to wonder who at the network force the writer to cast some hot chick who cannot act, because dudes 18-34 do not care about acting skill.  The guy did create Modern Family so…

 

Andor: Call me old fashioned, but I prefer my television shows to be, you know, television shows.  While this show looked great, the performances were good, but the first three episodes felt more like a two hour movie split into three than three actual episodes of television.  But anyway.  Is that lady mechanic supposed to be Andor’s sister?

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  So One Eyed Willie survived, but did the other one survive?  It probably would be hard to just have her trying to kill herself every week.  But the big news of the week was that Serena tried to stay in Gilliad.  Wouldn’t she have to stand trial like Fred?  Does no one know she was the reason Fred was even captured by the Canadians.  I laughed at the American dude asking why she would want to go back when she was free now… and promptly put her back in detention when she was returned to Canada.

 

Tell Me Lies:  Nothing says bad parent quite like casting Peggy Bundy.  I laughed when Lucy tried to insist she had the worse mother.  Sure she may have forked another dude while your father was dying, but it is not like she sits on the couch all day eating Bon Bon’s.  But I really missed the side characters this week.  I really came to the realization this week that Stephan and Lucy may be my two least favorite characters on the show. But Lucy finding Stephan’s drawing at Macy really made me wonder when those pictures on his computer are from.  I was thinking they were taken at college, but now I am not sure.  But if they were taken while they were still in high school, that would make her very underage at the time.

 

Survivor:  Oh wow, I do not remember the last time the most annoying person went out first.  Usually annoying people are kept around because they are easy to beat at the final Tribal.  Okay, it was actually her clothing choice that was annoying; the elevator salesman probably had the more annoying personality.  I am just glad I do not have to spend most of the season staring at that rainbow outfit after having to look at that extremely annoying ostrich shirt for most of last season.

 

Stargirl:  I have been defending Shiv’s innocence all season, but now that she is growing her father’s dragon skin, the same time of dragon skin found at the crime scene.  Though, I do wonder if maybe there is a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on.  Or maybe her dead father is somehow taking over her conscience.

 

Resident Alien: So they killed off the alien tracker right after he found his kid?  That was cruel.  So what exactly happened to the kid?  Id the reason why the aliens stopped taking the tracker to his kid because the government captured him?  But where are the aliens that had him in the first place?

 

Big Sky:  I forget what happened to the Indians and why their henchman is now with Meadow Soprano, but Reba McIntire is a massive downgrade.  But obviously she was going to turn out to be the big bad of this season; it looks like she went into her plastic surgeon and asked for The Joker.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 18, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  Finally some of the famous Targaryen incest we have been so much about.  Though that turned out to be very tame by Targaryen standards.  But pretty shocking that the princess would swear on her mother’s grave when she did let her guard go to town.  But kind of icky that the king did not believe either of their protests and still sent the moon tea anyway.

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  I appreciate the attempt more than the execution of the episode.  But I guess that is the advantage of anthologies

 

City on a Hill:  I am not sure what I needed to see less, Jackie get excited post-surgery or the male nurse dealing with it.  But I felt like I miss something with Jackie getting shot seemingly out of nowhere.  I had to check and make sure I did not miss an episode.  So the mob is just trying to gun him down.  But it is interesting that, with the season winding down, we get a bottle episode with Jackie in the hospital.

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  I know she went through something horrifically traumatic, but they are making June extremely unlikeable to the point that Serena the sympathetic one.  I say almost because then Serena had to go and use Hannah as a prop at Fred’s funeral.  But are other countries really going to show videos of the evil countries founding founders in whatever their version of Times Square is? 

 

I kind of forgot about Janine and the extremely young Handmaid.  We see Janine in the hospital, but did young Handmaid.  Might be a better alternative than being a rape doll for the old Commander.  But just how does Aunt Lydia know she is “fertile?”   I thought all of the current Handmaids were picked because they had kids when everyone else could not, certainly she had not become baby making age prior to Gilead becoming a nation.

 

Tell Me Lies:  They let us binge three episodes, ended that third episode with the shocking revelation that the skeazy dude took naughty pictures of the dead chick, and then they did not mention that at all this episode.  How rude.  But what is with all these dudes lasting seconds?  I am embarrassed for them all.

 

The Challenge: USA:  What a clusterfork from the start with Ben not being medically cleared to compete.  They should have either brought back the last eliminated guy or just have some quick competition that eliminated one of the women so there would be even teams.  Or, with Enzo quacking within seconds, let Desi continue and just have a team of two females for the rest of the finale.  Sarah got really lucky with one of the few legs that it might of actually been better to be alone  I would have thought the eating an onion would also be a nice stage to do by yourself, but Cayla could not even finish that by her.

 

Jasmine, who had to remember ten sets of numbers when the others had to memorize five each, and Angela, who was doubly screwed by having to shovel all that dirt (not even half the amount of everybody else, but 2/3’s the pile according to Tyson) and not being able to sleep at all.  Though if the rules state one had to shovel while the other slept, why was Angela not allowed to do the second part?  Just the selective rules where some people were allowed to time out, like Cayla and Jasmine when they were alone, but not Angela, or Sarah at the puzzle, but no one was allowed to time out in others, like everyone like everyone else at Sudoku.  Gee another part of the finale where Sarah got extremely lucky.  Ugg, now we are stuck with her with the world championship.  If you are going to go willy nilly with their rules, why are you doing it so someone so unlikable like Sarah gets to come back for another show?

 

Stargirl:  Shiv still acting very shady releasing the blackmail evidence.  But I am still going with Icicle Jr. as the killer who was acting just as shady this week.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 11, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  Really, three years and Daemon and his dragon cannot defeat the Crab Feeder?  If they are hiding in caves, how about shoot the fire in the caves and smoke them out?  But we got our first Lannister of the season and he is no Jamie, or Tywin, or even Tyrian.  So should I car for him.  Rhnessra certainly does not.  How long will it take before she starts forking the royal guardsman?  Though, they may just yadda yadda over that like they did the wedding, conception, and birth.

 

The Chi:  This show has so many characters many of them never even interact (except for the rare poker game where they are buddy-buddy and then never talk to each other again).  But they finally tied in a few characters.  The ex-mayor has recruited Emmitt and Bakari to work for him.  Though bad look for Emmitt to still take his money after the video tape was released. But bizarre that the new report found people that actually defended the ex-mayor. Is it safe to assume Victor released the tape?  Though the ex-mayor had him dispose of a body so there could be some mutually assured destruction in doing that.  Maybe it was the dude who gotten beaten.

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  Like the riverboat episode, I enjoyed the set up and the concept, the also like the riverboat episode, it just devolved into everything I have grown to dislike in these shows where it is just zombies eating everyone.  Plus I think it would have been more symbolic if the chick survived and she ended up tagging the scientist who turned.

 

City on a Hill:  There was a lot of flip flopping in this episode.  Jackie saying it was okay to take the dirty money to help his family only to want to take his boss down in the very next scene.  Then Decoursey refuses to help Jackie only to change his mind too.  But nothing more predictable than Jackie flashing his badge shortly after his wife retrieved it.

 

In the Dark:  Just how incompetent do you have to be to be murdered by a blind chick?  And did he rent the one place that locks from the outside?  So she just kills a dude and rides off into the sunset?  What a horrible ending to a horrible show.  Good riddance.

 

Tell Me Lies:  I am glad the killed off the roommate by the end of the episode because she was noticeably not at the wedding so thankfully they did not drag that out.  Except she died before we got to learn what the secret she was going to tell Lucy before she got that phone call in the cafeteria.  Was that secret that she hooked up with Stephen?  But that escalated quickly that he was taking naughty pictures of her.   That he was invited to the wedding kind of makes it seems like no one finds out about that.  While we did find out why the roommate was not there, Wrigley’s brother conspicuously was not there.  Someone even mentioned to cut Wrigley some slack because it was just his brother’s birthday.  Does he kill himself out of guilt?  Though, because of the pictures, it seems very clearly why Stephen wants to keep the circumstances around her death silent.  The question is, did anyone ever see them together?  The other question I am most interested in this show answering is that did Bree really have the same unflattering hairstyle at her wedding that she had as a freshman in college?

 

The Challenge: USA:  That had to be the most pathetic elimination ever in the history of The Challenge.  Both should have been sent home.  The final elimination should be interesting.  You have the four Survivor guys and two Big Brother girls, so you think those two would safe as long as they do not come in last as long as they beat Enzo (which should be easy).  But what if one of the Survivor guys wins with one of the girls in the Fab <strike>Five</strike> Three, would there be a stalemate on who goes in?  I am still hoping we get the Angela vs. Sarah showdown I would have bet on the previous week.

 

Stargirl:  So Shiv was found with a literal smoking gun over the corpse of The Gambler, though I still doubted she did it (plus he turned out to have died from being impaled), but this week they made it seem like whoever took his laptop was the killer… and it turned out Shiv also had the laptop.  But I will still contend she is a red herring.  That he was impaled makes me think my original guess it was someone in the Icicle family and Jr. having issues really backs up that theory.

The Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions of 2022-23 Television

 

The start of the television season is upon us, though it feels like it already started as many big shows started last week.  Though, it reality, it feels like the television season did not even end with a constant stream of notable shows popping up during what typically been a barren wasteland for scripted television.  But I digress.  The unofficial start of the television season is when I like to ask a couple questions that hopefully get answered by the end of the season… if the season actually ever ends in the era of streaming.

  

      1.       Who Will Win the IP War: Marvel, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?  Labor Day is when temperatures start to fall with the unofficial end of summer, but things are already heating up on television.  We have three episodes of She-Hulk and House of the Dragon as well as two episodes of Rings of Power.  Then the day before the official first day of fall, Andor premieres.  Marvel, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars represent the three biggest names on television right now (sorry DC and Walking Dead who also recently launched less buzzworthy shows).  HBO says Hot D got 10 million viewers for its premiere and increased that for the second episode.  Then Prime said 25 million people watched Ring (though a bit apples to oranges because Hot D was just Americans and Rings were worldwide).  The Ploose did not give out She-Hulk numbers, but something called Samba TV claims 1.5 million households watched the premiere, but again households to people can be apple to oranges).  That viewership went up seems like Hot D is currently in prime position to win the IP wars.  The low states comedy of She-Hulk will probably come in last with Andor being the dark horse.  The last two Star Wars shows were not well received but Rogue One was one of the bright spots of the Disney era Star Wars properties.  But what is clear, there will be a round two.

      2.       Who the Fork Is Lottie Matthews?!?  Fewer things got me more hyped while watching television over the past year than listening to Natalie’s voice mail on Yellowjackets when her AA sponsor found out who emptied Travis’s bank account and asked her, “Who the fork is Lottie Matthews.”  Sure, my theory that Lottie was Pit Girl went out the window, but considering how Lottie went from a background character to a crazy Antler Queen, I am not disappointed.  If she could go off the rails after a couple months, just how crazy has she become twenty-five year later?  Unfortunately the show already spoiled her acolyte Van is still alive when they announced Lauren Ambrose has been cast as an adult version.  Elijah Wood has also been cast, but thankfully not as adult Javi in another spoiler, but as one of Misty’s Citizen Detectives.

      3.       What Now on The Handmaid’s Tale?  After three seasons of torture porn, June actually managed to escape Gilliad last season and celebrated by brutally murdering Commander Waterford.  So what do you do after escaping and killing your capture?  Well, June still needs to rescue her daughter who is still in Gilliad.  Hopefully that does not take three seasons to accomplish.  And while the Commander is dead, his widow is still very much alive.  Though one person we will not be seeing is Emily who has been written off the show.  Though no big loss as she had not added much to the show after escaping back in season two.

      4.       Will Dr. Ben Seong Run Into Dr. Samuel Beckett?  For years I have been asking for a Quantum Leap reboot with Sam playing the Al role.  While we are getting a Quantum Leap reboot, the leaper is still a dude and the Al sand in will be played by Ernie Hudson.  Sigh.  Now the question is, will the new leaper eventually run into Sam?   Here is hoping he will and it will be sooner rather than later.

      5.       Who Killed Pail Rudd and When Will We Find Out?  Much like the first season of Only Murders in the Building ended with a teaser of a new murder, season two ended will Paul Rudd dying on stage shortly after having a tense exchange with Charles Hayden Savage and a notably shaken Mabel in shock.  Was Mabel the “she” Charles told Paul Rudd to stay away from?  The list of alternatives is not very long.  Lucy is too young but could Lucy’s mom be back in the picture.  Then there is the question of when will the third season premiere.  Season two actually arrived two months earlier than the first, could we get the third season two more months earlier?  That would put it in late April.  For Emmy reason, it is doubtful, but the Emmy window ending in late May, a premiere around that time does not seem out of the question.  Then the other question remains, if Paul Rudd was murdered on stage, will they need to change the name of Only Murders in the Building?

 

As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, how would we know if something was cool if there weren't things that sucked; here are the five least anticipated questions

      1.       Who Will Survive the Walking Dead?  It is the end of the era, after ten seasons, the last as which was split into three parts; The Waling Dead is coming to an end.  So who will survive?  Well, Daryl and Carole have already been announced for a spin-off show (though Carole dropped out) as well as one with Maggie and Negan so I am guess those four survive unless those shows will just be those zombiefied four around eating stupid humans.  Actually, that may actually be better than what we will likely get.

      2.       Who Will Survive The CW Sale?  It was a bloodbath last spring when The CW canceled three of its female fronted superhero television shows (Stargirl was lucky in that it had not aired yet).  The Flash has already been announced for a final season which will leave just Stargirl, Superman, and the upcoming Gotham Knights as the lone superhero shows.  Will any of them or the other low performing show make the cut after the new owners have full control?  Who care, no one will likely watch either way.

      3.       Who Will Survive the HBO Max / Discovery Merger?  The new CEO comes in, axes the almost completed Batgirl and the internet turns into Chicken Little.  Someone even claimed HBO Max would stop making originals and current originals would move to HBO.  Stupid people.  While this month HBO Max will premiering… um, just about nothing, a sizzle real that launched with Hot D promises new seasons of Pennyworth (coming next month) Titans, Doom Patrol, Hacks Minx, Our Flag Means Death, coming soon.  Okay, the only new show is some new show with Elizabeth Olsen based on a story Hulu already did earlier this year.  So the merger may mean less content coming from HBO Max / Discover, but in an era of too much television, that may not be such a bad thing

      4.       Who Will Survive NBC Axing the 10:00 Hour?  This rumor just hit the internet recently launching a thousand Jay Leno jokes.  But if NBC does end up axing six hours every week, what will be left?  Sadly, it will probably not be what historically NBC has done best: comedies.  They are no sitcoms premiering this month, though Young Rock and some George Lopez show are coming to Fridays in November.  But losing 10:00 would also mean no full nights of Chicago or Law and Order shows.  Though what will become of ambitious shows like La Brea that NBC tries every year?  What surprises me about this is that linear television is still very profitable and NBC’s streaming sister, Peacock is the one that seems to be struggling the most.  It seems like a very poor business move.  But if we get less procedurals, maybe that will not be such a bad thing.  Speaking of which…

      5.       Just How Many Spin-Off Are There?  Law and Order and Chicago are not the only shows that dominate an entire night, FBI, All-American, and Walker all take up a full day of programing.  NCIS and The Rookie do have shows on different nights while Grey’s Anatomy takes up multiple timeslots on Thursday .  Surprisingly we are down to just the original CSI this fall.  Who are watching all these shows and their spin-offs?

 

Here is everything I will be watching this fall... Why the fork are there so many shows on Wednesdays?  How about spreading things out?

Mondays

8:00 – The Neighborhood (CBS, September 19(

9:00 – Kevin Can Fork Himself (AMC, already started)

10:00 – Quantum Leap (NBC, September 19)

 

Tuesdays

Reboot (Hulu, September 20)

9:00 - La Brea (NBC, September 27)

 

 Wednesdays

Wedding Season (Hulu, September 7)

Tell Me Lies (Hulu, September 7)

The Handmaid’s Tale (September 14)

Andor (Disney+, September 21)

Pitch Perfect: Bumper in Berlin (Peacock, November 23)

8:00 – Stargirl (The CW, already started)

8:00 – Survivor (CBS, September 21)

8:30 – The Goldbergs (ABC, September 21)

9:00 – Abbott Elementary (ABC, September 21)

10:00 – Big Sky (ABC, September 21)

 

Thursdays

Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount+, already started)

She-Hulk (Disney+, already started)

The Lord of the Ring: The Rings of Power (Prime, already started)

A Friend of the Family (Peacock, October 6)

8:30 – Ghosts (CBS, September 29)

 

Fridays

Ramy (Hulu, September 30)

8:00 – Young Rock (NBC, November 4)

 

Sundays

9:00 – House of the Dragon (HBO, already started)

9:00 – The Walking Dead (AMC, October 2)

10:00 – Let the Right One In (Showtime, October 9)

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 4, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  I never really minded that Game of Thrones routinely went an hour because they usually juggled at least four storylines at a time, sometimes more.  With this show staying at King’s Landing most of the time and focusing solely on the Targarians, these episodes have dragged a bit.  They really need to get the Starks or Lannisters in there.  But the battle lines are starting to form.  The Sea Snake has thrown in with the Rouge Prince, the king has tied himself to the Hightowers (which I guess is less gross than marrying a twelve year old), and the current heir is kind of left out there on her own waiting for a half-brother to come along (which the promo spoils happens).

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  I actually liked the idea of a swamp cruise to escape a zombie apocalypse; unfortunately they ruined it by making it an Alpha origin story, even though we already got her origin story.  I checked out after she left the boat.  This episode would have been much better had it been Death on the Zombie Nile, just keep have people disappearing, and then have the hijackers arrive in the final act.

 

The Chi:  Oh snap, they killed off the old kingpin.  Though he really felt insignificant this season.  It felt like he was just brought back so the former mayor could turn on him to make more nefarious.

 

City on a Hill:  Watching a lot of cop shows in my life, I have heard them talk about giving gun residue tests before, but in all my years, that was the first time I actually saw someone take that test.  That was a lot more complicated that I assumed.  I thought it was just a simple swab.  So Jackie actually lied to help Decoursey.  Then Jackie saw Decoursey’s boss at Sinclair’s house.  Everything is starting to tie together.  But why is Jenny having someone dive for her husband’s badge? If she wants her husband reinstated, could they not just issue a new one?

 

In the Dark:  Huh?  Did we not see Darnell get shot at the start of the season?  What bad editing bullshirt is this?  Mot that I am complaining Max died, I just wish that had happened a lot sooner.  But all this happened because Josh would rather the Blind Chick go to prison than bring down a drug organization that is killing people.  That has to be the dumbest plot mechanism in the history of television.  Then it looks like in the finale, the Blind Chick is going to torture and kill Josh.  I guess if you are going out, go out with a dumb bang.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Sigh, after all that big talk from Sarah last week, I was fully expecting her to get eliminated by Angela this week.  Unfortunately Danny turned out to be scared of Angela and sent in Cashey instead.  So the Fab 5 did not last very long, Desi turned on them and Cash is gone.  So is there just a Fab 3 or with the other two realize Sarah is too much of a loose cannon?

 

Stargirl:  As if Cindy did not look even guiltier, she had a literal smoking gun in her hand.  She really cannot talk her way out of that one, though she looks so guilty it probably is not her.  But which of the new friendamies could it be?  I suspect it was not anyone we saw.  Maybe someone in the Icicle family.  Are any of them still around?  I do wonder how, or if, the daughter plays into this.  But artimis coming though with a C+C Music Factory montage really made this episode.

 

Resident Alien: Well, that was confusing. It took me a second to realize that Harry is actually the artist.  So he is the baby alien’s actual father, just a six hundred year older version of him.  But why not go to Patience to warn Harry of the upcoming apocalypse?  Is this Back to the Future rules where he cannot see his younger self?  If so, why not send a note or something?

 

The Resort:  To quote the great philosopher Chidi Anagonye: What the fork?!?!  Really, that was it?  The kids were just hanging out in goo like nothing happened for the past 15 years?  I was expecting something a lot more interesting than that from the guys who did Palm Spring and Mr. Robot.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 28, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  Way too many Targerians on the show.  What was great about the Game of Thrones was that each clan has different hair color so you could tell them apart.  But ninety percent of the cast has white hair.  At least one is a black dude.  But the king telling his daughter about the Long Night got me thinking, will these HBO shows ever try and retcon the final season to fit whatever George R.R. Martin ends up writing in the final two books.  Though that would have to depend on Martin actually finishing the last two books.

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  Yet another somewhat funny episode, but like many Groundhog Day stories, this one got old fast.  And the CGI explosion was really bad.

 

In the Dark:  We finally get to Darnell getting shot and we still had to go back a couple days.  So stupid.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  I laughed so hard twice during this episode that I had to rewind it, when Charles started going into slo-mo (okay, I had to rewind a second time when everyone else joined in) and when Charles came back to life like The Undertaker. Very satisfying conclusion to the mystery, though I will nit-pick and say it was a little cheap that it was Poppy (who kind of looked like Aubrey Plaza back in Oklahoma) whom Kreps was hooking up with, not Cinda as the finale scene of the last episode suggested. One more nit-pick for the season as a whole: so Amy Schumer trying to buy the rights of the podcast was just completely dropped? I thought the trio fighting over if to sell the rights or not would end up being a storyline this season but was not even mentioned after the second episode.

Now we have a new murder which begs the question, will they have to change the name of the podcast? Or the television show? But the "she" Charles and Paul Rudd were fighting over has to be Mabel, right? Lucy is too young and there really is not anyone other females would care that deeply about unless he met another one in that year break. Mabel was the only one to stand up in concern over Rudd collapsing.

Hopefully the show follows its trend of premiering just 10 months after the previous season premiered and we get season three in April of next year. Though I am guessing for Emmy reasons it will not premiere until June again so it will not be competing with itself.

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  So no Chekov’s witch bomb?  Kind of a confusing finale, I am still not entirely sure what was up with the daughter.

 

The Challenge: USA:  If they are only eliminating one person an episode from here on out, that means there will be a lot of people in the finals.  I just hope that Angela somehow comes in last next week with Sarah volunteering herself to go in and Angela just walks over her in the elimination.  All this bluster Sarah has had this season with no wins to back up her talk has to leading to something.

 

The Resort:  This is it, all the lead up has led to the whole in the ground.  Hopefully we are in for some profound twist next week because if we do not get some profound finale, this show likely will not be worth it.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: August 21, 2022

Westworld: So they make a point to tell us that being shot in the pearl makes a host dead-dead right before Hale, Bernard, and Mauve get shot in the forehead. Then five minutes into the finale Hale back to normal. So are the pearls lower in the skull? Could Bernard and Mauve (and Clementine for that matter) be brought back then? It did look like when Hale took her pearl out it came out around her nose. Not that any of that matters now because it seems like next season will mostly take place in the Sublime and Delores can just image all the dead-dead hosts anyway. Though, speaking of Delores, wasn't she supposed to be dead-dead because of what went down with Rehobolem last season? So what, she could not be put into a host body but her conscience could still stay intact?

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  I dreaded watching another Walking Dead show, but how can I stop this far into it?  But shockingly that was the best episode in the series that I can remember and the first time they ever injected levity into the show.  I would much rather see an Olivia Munn / Terry Crews show than the upcoming Daryl / Carol show or Negan / Maggie one or the Rick movie that got turned into a miniseries.

 

The Chi:  Oh, so Jemma was not shot, just the shooting got her trampled.  But dude does deserve to get punched.  I did get a big laugh at the guy ripping up the envelope.  As a spiteful person, I really appreciated.  But I am not sure what was more surprising, that Emmitt tried celibacy or that he turned down sex.  At first I thought Tiff was testing him, but she really did seem disappointed to be turned down.

 

City on a Hill:  Well that kid had a point about the condom.  But anyway.  So Siobhan was part of a hit and run.  That was a surprising twist.  Now I wonder if her friend’s accident was actually an accident.  Then Jackie sees big boss drag a drugged lady out.  So at what point does he turn his boss in?  Are they really going to drag this out all season for him to grow a conscience in the season finale?

 

Flatbush Misdemeanors:  The white lady going through all the names of the drugs was hilarious.

 

In the Dark:  It I absurd that the show turned Josh into a raving lunatic and they somehow made him even crazier this week.  But at we are finally getting to the episode where Darnell gets shot next week.

 

Only Murders in the Building:  Oh my, Cinda Canning has been a bad, bad girl. When we first saw her last season, I was predicting she murdered Tim Kono and she killed him because the reason she was such a good true crime podcaster was because she was the one committing the crimes, now I have to ask... was I right? We know that Jan poisoned Tim, but I do not recall her ever admitting she staged it to look like a suicide.

Then when Cinda just happened to be at the crime scene when the three amigos were being perp walked out of the building, I rolled over my Cinda theory to Bunny's murder and that is looking very plausible right now. Cinda was killing Bunny while Kreps was spying on Mabel waiting for the right time to set her up. But the one thing making me pause that it is one thing fake Poppy's disappearance and murder, it is another to actually kill somebody.

One theory I got very wrong was that Teddy faked Will's DNA test, which would have been very funny, instead Teddy did hook up with Oliver's wife. I have a sinking suspicion that Will will be finding out this information next episode even though everyone else was sworn to secrecy. I doubt Oliver will be able to pull off being Greek for very long.

The show made it so obvious that Jan was the killer at the end of episode nine last season, I was convinced there was another shoe to drop in the finale that never came. Will the show do the same thing this season, and Cinda did it, or will there actually be a twist in the second season finale? Like I said before, it is a big leap between faking a murder and actually committing one. Then Kreps might be okay with planting evidence knowing the "dead" girl was alright, but would a NYC cop really be an accomplice to the murder? If he were that evil, he would do much more than spar with Mabel (but really, Selena Gomez constantly making fun of him make Michael Rappaport much more tolerable).

Then, while we learned what happened to the real painting this, we still have not learned who stole the fake. Is that too obvious that Lion King guy did it since we know he has allergies? When he sneezed last week, I was suspicious that they would introduce someone so late to play such a big part, but since the mystery of the real painting was solved this week, I guess who stole a fake matters much less now, so it might as well be Lion King guy. Like I have been saying from the beginning, I think the art thief and the killer are two different people.

 

Motherland: Fort Salem:  Oh snap, the president coming in was just great.  Sure, they just yadda yaddaed her getting to Fort Salem after being stranded in the Cession (much like how they yadda yaddaed Alder escaping the cave). But after taking down the vice president so early in the episode with the wedding filling in the rest, I had a sinking suspicion something bad would happen considered the last time this show did a wedding, the bride was murdered.  Shockingly it went out without a hitch, it is just that Fort Salem fell while it was going on.  Oops.  I guess we will be seeing Chekov’s which bomb in the finale.

 

The Challenge: USA:  Poor Alyssa, she gets stuck with Leo, and the only thing worse than being stuck with Leo is being stuck with Leo on a week he is ready to quit.  But at least he stayed… only for him to fork up the mission, sending them straight into the elimination.  But luckily they did not get the Madonna question which is the only one I could not solve.  But since they both got stuck on question two, I have to wonder if they were not allowed to skip a question.  Seems like it would have been smart to skip, do the other ones so you could eliminate some choices.  But thanks to Leo, Alyssa now has the most money among the women and second most overall.  I wondering if have more money will get you any advantage in the finals if you make it there.

 

Speaking of questions, what now after they got rid of the algorithm??  For Alyssa’s sake, I hope they are not stuck with these partners from here on out.  Though it would be funny if Tyson and Sarah would be stuck together for the rest of the season.  Maybe it is an individual game.   But would they still be doing double eliminations because with 14 because they still need to get rid of a few people.

 

Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin:  When I started this show I complained that it was just IP fraud that barely had anything to do with the original show.  Now that it is over, I need to complain about the one part of the show it ripped off, the dumb twist that “A” was a brother that no one new existed.  But at least he did not turn out to be a she that dated her brother.  Maybe that is the second season twist.  Even worse was the reveal that Ezra and Aria were still together. Again, he was a teacher who forked his student, why are they glorifying that and condemning grooming in previous episode.  Tabby and her boss got to be about the same age. 

 

But Tabby’s mom going H.A.M. on her boss was the only entertaining part of the whole show.  The whole blood drive plan was so stupid, how about labeling the blood because limiting the pool down to 65 still seemed too high. Yet inexplicably it worked because Tabby used that 1 in 65 chance to just accuse Chip who turned out to be the rapist.  What a horrible, stupid show.  Of course I will watch a second season.

 

The Resort:  Oh hey, Luis Guzman!  Oh, he is already dead.  But at least he gave us the most entertaining episode so far.

 

The Eighteenth Annual Scooter Television Awards

 

 Welcome to the 18th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between August 2021 and June 2022. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2022 STA's:

 

Best Drama: Yellowjackets

 

Best Comedy: Only Murders in the Building

 

Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: La Brea

 

Best Comic Book Adaptation: Doom Patrol

 

Best Period Show: The Great

 

Best Animated Show: The Bad Batch

 

Best Reality Show: The Challenge: All-Stars

 

Best Remake, Reboot, or (non-comic book) Adaptation: Ghosts

 

Best Miniseries: The Dropout

 

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

 

Best New Show: Only Murders in the Building

 

Best Made for TV Movie:  Zoey’s Extraordinary Christmas

 

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: LaBrea

 

Worst Show I Made Though an Entire Season Of: Pam and Tommy

 

Best Hour of TV: Doomcoming (Yellowjackets)

 

Best Half Hour of TV: Open and Shut (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Biggest Shocker: Jackie becomes a popsicle (Yellowjackets)

 

Best Line: “Who the fork is Lottie Matthews?!?!?”  (Yellowjackets)

 

Worst Idea: Leaving Alicia’s death vague (Fear the Walking Dead)

 

Worst Moment: The time traveling fetuses (The Time Traveler’s Wife

 

Biggest Disappointment: The Killing Eve finale

 

Best Musical Moment: The Homecoming playlist - The Offspring, Wreckx-n-Effect, Ace of Base, Divinals, Enya (Yellowjackers)

 

Best Karaoke: Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Misty (Yellowjackets)

 

Best New Title Sequence: Only Murders in the Building

 

Best GIF:

 

Yellowjackets Jackie Yellowjackets GIFfrom Yellowjackets GIFs

 

Best Character: Misty Quigley (Yellowjackets)

 

Best Recurring Character: Lottie Matthews (Yellowjackets)

 

Best Guest Appearance: Sazz Pataki (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Best Cast Addition: Harry Wilson (Leverage: Redemption)

 

Best Duo: Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova (Hawkeye)

 

Best Trio:  Mabel Mora, Charles Hayden Savage, and Oliver Putnum (Only Murders in the Building)

 

Most Entertaining Male Reality “Star”:  Teck Holmes (The Challenge: All-Stars

 

Most Entertaining Female Reality “Star”:  Selena Gomez (Selena + Chef)

 

Most Annoying Reality:  Josh Martinez (The Challenge)

 

Most Anticipated New Show of the Next Season: House of the Dragon

 

Most Anticipated Reboot:  Quantum Leap

 

Show That Should Be Brought Back: The Dropout (sure it was a limited series, but give us the trail of Elizabeth Holmes)

 

Biggest Question for 2021-2022: Who wins the battle of the massive IP shows: Game of Thrones, Marvel, Star Wars, or Lord of the Rings?