57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/2/14

Shameless: That was a lot more entertaining than last week’s mope fest. Who would have guess womb fratricide could be so funny? And they really should use Mickey more often. Sure he is not the best actor on the show, but he definitely delivers the funniest lines.

The Walking Dead: Where have the three amigos been all this time? As the show struggled to find characters worth caring about, these three show and are already high in the show’s power ranking (same goes with the lesbian tag along). We do learn who they are and what they are about this week. Well that is if we are to believe that the mulletted scientist (seriously, a mulletted scientist is awesome) actually does know what caused the zombie outbreak and how to cure it. Of course Glen and his irrational love ruined the trip to DC. Hey Glen, how about not attacking the military guy? That probably was not the smartest thing ever. I do wonder if Abraham is connected to the military guys The Governor killed a couple seasons back (probably not because I think that was two or three showrunners ago).
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: Who knew you could mumble speaking in ASL? But enough about sign language quirks, Wallace Fennel’s mom stabbed a dude! Did not see that coming.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched at Birth on iTunes.

The Voice: Last year, Usher and Shakira were clearly overmatched with Adam and Blake running circles around them. I give Shakira a pass because no one great picked her over the other coaches aside from the three Latinas (none of which she took to the Live Shows). Usher on the other hand did pull in some ringers during the Blind Audition but managed to end up with a worse team than Shakira when the show went live due to some bad coaching decisions (like cutting Ryan Innes and Jess Kellner) and some horrible Battle Round pairings which led to some of the most painful to sit through performances ever (Josiah vs. Jeff may have been the worst non-montaged Battle ever).

So I was disappointed that Usher picked up four of my five favorite acts in the first week. Maybe they can be stolen before Usher ruins them. Then Shakira continued picking up the scraps with three uninspiring singers, none of which seems like Live Shows material. Since she is in his chair, Shakira really should go with the Cee-Lo philosophy of taking fliers on weirder contestants no one else wants. Adam may be the four-chair champion, but it is more impressive what Cee-Lo did when he was the only one to turn around (Jamar Rogers, Nicholas David, Amanda Brown, and Cole Vosbury among them). Shakira may have done better with Marina Mia and / or Keith Shuskie, both who seemed more promising than the three she did pick up who scream fodder to me.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

The Blacklist: Was Red’s interpolation of a gay homosexual offensive? Maybe. Was it entertaining? Very.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: After the second person came forward and confessed, I thought for sure that the killer was a hypnotist who convinced people they were the ones to commit the murder. That would be a pretty ingenious way of getting away with it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Oh snap, Aria went H.A.M. on Ezra’s apartment. But I am wondering if Erza really is telling the truth about not being A and is just a very overzealous writer doing anything for a story. Then again it is also plausible that he is both and the person who tried to kill Ally is someone completely different. And just how many dudes is Hanna going to awkwardly kiss? Caleb is not going to be happy when he returns to Rosewood now that his spin-off has been canceled.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Even though it was basically a procedural its first season, it is weird now when they have a standalone episode in the middle of the season (at least I am assuming that this case will not have any bearing on the rest of the series). Of course there was plenty of humor in Raylan chasing down a one legged computer hacker who drained his bank accounts. Although with all that was going on with the Crowders, the Crows, and the brewing feud between Alison and Wendy, the case just seemed rushed.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: A couple seasons ago I suggested that Survivor should do a Morons vs. Masterminds season and though that was a conceit for an All Star version, Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn may be as close as they get (as log as you assume jocks and models are not very smart). When the show was announce I originally thought that the Beauty tribe would be at a distinctive advantage because Immunity Challenges are geared to brute strength and mental puzzles, but low and behold they won the first one and came from way behind on the Brains tribe on a puzzle in the second.

That sent the Brains to Tribal for the second straight time. It has become very clear extremely soon that all of them are just overthinking everything and it seems like every master plan backfired on everyone who thought they were in control. First David targeted Garrett because he was a threat later in the game instead of the easy vote of J’Tia. Then Garrett was paranoid to not let anyone out of his sight but was not paranoid to not play his Hidden Immunity Idol. And just like that J’Tia is the Ciera of this season inexplicably surviving two votes she had no business making past (hopfully she turns out to be as entertaining as Ciera). Seriously, how do you not vote off the chick that dumped out your rice when you did not even win the fishing supplies?

But the all-stars of the first two episodes was the new budding friendship of former Trailblazer Cliff Robinson and the guy who had his basketball cards Woo (well those two and Morgan’s overworked underwear; my first impression of the “Beauty” tribe was underwhelming but I was proved extremely wrong with Morgan who sure likes bending over). Hopefully Tony, who is targeting Cliff, overplays his hand like everyone on the Brains tribe and finds his torch being snuffed out with Immunity in his pocket. Cliff and Woo would make a solid final two (and Morgan as the third for other obvious reasons).
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: The first season really launched the type of great show that has everything you should want, great acting, great writing, but it was just missing some intangible that keeps me from getting too excited for the show (FX continued that trend with The Bridge over the summer). I do have a feeling that with The Americans, it is hard to root for a couple of communist especially since we know they lost the Cold War. I am still in on the show and though I am still not waiting breathlessly for a new episode, my excitement level has raised a little after the season two premiere. I do like Paige is starting to snoop around her parents and seeing how they deal with learning her parents are Russian spies. But is she going to continue to snoop after catching her parents in the act? And now the parents have seen firsthand what can happen when he walked in on his friends murdered along with their daughter. It will be interesting to see if they are most loyal to their children or their country when it comes down to it. But when it comes down to it, I still hope they fast forward to the end of the Cold War to see how the Jennings adapt then. But that is still almost a decade away on the show.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: When a producer called Juliet up I was thinking they were going to go in the way of The Dixie Chicks and Rick Rubin when they were shunned by Nashville. Nope, they went completely the other way with harps and weird goth photo shoots that in no way Rolling Stone would put on their cover. Oh yeah, and Lamar died. And Teddy let it happen.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Hannibal: When NBC released a promo for the new season there seemed to be a very spoilery scene of Hannibal and Jack doing battle (or as spoilery as a prequel when you knew something like that would happen), except that fight scene surprisingly ended up being the very first scene of the new season. Of course we got the dreaded “12 weeks earlier” placecard in the middle of the fight. So it may take a while for us to see the conclusion of that scene. If the show takes place in real time, we would not see it until maybe the penultimate episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

The Best Television Shows of 2012-13

I have been making top ten lists of the best television shows of the year since 2006 and this is the first time ever that all ten spots went to dramas. Comedies really need to step their game up. Of the shows that used to be on this list, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother are just getting long in the tooth, Suburagtory suffered a sophomore slump, and the Dan Harmon-less Community was a disaster while newbies The Neighbors and Go On were solid, they just were not good enough. Here were the shows that were.

1. Justified Season 4 (FX)

2. Homeland Season 2 (Showtime)

3. Hannibal Season 1 (NBC)

4. Parenthood Season 4 (NBC)

5. The Americans Season 1 (FX)

6. Nashville Season 1 (ABC)

7. Mad Men Season 6 (AMC)

8. Bunheads (ABC Family)

9. Dallas Season 1 (TNT)

10. Sons of Anarchy Season 5 (FX)



After playing the bridesmaid for three straight seasons, Justified finally topped this list for the first time ever while FX took up two spots for the first time since I declared it the best network on television back in 2010 (which was also the last time Sons of Anarchy made the list). It also lifted FX over CBS for the third most shows on my best television shows list over the past eight years (12), just short of NBC (18) and ABC (15). CBS (11) is the only other network over five shows over that time. Now here are the shows that amassed the most Quote, Song, and Scene of the Week.

Quote of the Week
Pretty Little Liars – 5
Dallas – 4
Justified – 4
Mad Men – 4
Hannibal – 3
The Big Bang Theory - 2
Homeland – 2
Leverage – 2
The Neighbors – 2
Revenge – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
Bunheads – 1
The Challenge – 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Go On – 1
Grimm – 1
Happy Endings – 1
House of Lies – 1
Modern Family – 1
Nashville – 1
Parenthood – 1
Shameless – 1
Suburgatory – 1
Survivor – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Song of the Week
Bunheads – 5
Suburgatory - 4
Go On – 3
The Neighbors – 3
The Americans – 2
Castle – 2
Community – 2
Covert Affairs – 2
Dallas – 2
House of Lies – 2
How I Met Your Mother – 2
Justified – 2
Mad Men – 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty little Liars – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
The Big Bang Theory - 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
Once Upon a Time – 1
Shameless – 1
Sons of Anarchy – 1
Totally Biased – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Scene of the Week
Bunheads – 8
Suburgatory – 7
The Neighbors – 6
Go On – 3
Hannibal – 3
Community – 2
Modern Family - 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty Little Liars – 2
Don’t Trust the B---- in Apt. 23 – 1
Castle - 1
The Big Bang Theory – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
The Voice – 1

The Ninth Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 8th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between June 2012 and June 2013. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2013 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Justified

Best Sitcom: The Neighbors

Best Reality Show: Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites

Best Animated Show: Young Justice

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best Talk Show Host: Norm Macdonald

Best Talent Competition: The Voice

Best New Show: Hannibal

Best Mini-Series: The 80’s: The Decade that Made Us

Best Web Series: Burning Love: Burning Down the House

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: Dallas

Best Awards Show: 2013 Grammy Awards

Best Hour of TV: Decoy - Justified

Biggest Shocker: Langley being bombed (Homeland)

Worst Idea: Keeping Carrie on her meds (Homeland)

Worst Moment: Caroline Glaser getting voted off The Voice

Biggest Disappointment: Revenge's sophomore slump

Best New Title Sequence: Hannibal


Best Song Placement: In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (The Americans)

Best Karaoke: Ho Hey – Lennon and Maisy (Nashville)

Best Singing Competition Performance: Dream On – Amanda Brown (The Voice)


Best Dance Sequence: Making Whoopie (Bunheads)

Best Fight (Scripted): Tessa vs. Dalia (Suburgatory)

Best Fight (Unscripted): Frank vs. Dustin and Nany (The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons)

Hottest Token Hot Chick:

Best Character: Raylan Givens (Justified)

Best New Character: Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)

Best Recurring Character: Abigail Hobbs (Hannibal)

Best Guest Appearance: Bob Newhart (The Big Bang Theory)

Best Duo: Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham (Hannibal)

Most Entertaining Reality “Star”: Andrea Boehlke (Survivor: Caramoan)

Most Annoying Reality “Star”: Brandon Hantz (Survivor: Caramoan)

Best Quote: First thing we are going to do is acknowledge this guy is awesome. He shoots Theo Tonin, fakes his own death in a spectacular fashion, pushes a guy out of an airplane while he’s flying it, parachutes into Harlem County with enough coke and cash to kick start the economy of a small country, and then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement, not once, but two times. He’s spends a couple days riding around with you while you’re looking for him, and now he’s run off with a hooker that’s half his age. That’s some bad (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted). (Art Mullen, Justified)

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Go On

Most Anticipated New Show of Next Season: Masters of Sex (Showtime)

Biggest Question for 2012-2013: Will The Veronica Mars Movie live up to the television show? And more importantly, will it be successful enough for Netflix (or Amazon, or any other channel or streaming site) to fully resurrect the series?

It's a Trap!

Even before it aired I was ready to love The Americans. It was the first show Graham Yost created after Justified, the best show on television. Then you add in Keri Russell as a Russian spy which sounded like it would be Homeland: The Reagan Years but seem from the opposition. Sure we know how the story turns out (SPOILER ALERT: the Russians lose) but Yost is a master storyteller and with the premiere set against Reagan’s election, they are still eight years away from the fall of the Berlin Wall and a full decade away from the dissolution of USSR. Not that I would mind if The Americans lasted long enough to see The Jennings adjust to the end of The Cold War.

As great as the premise, the season relied on too many television tropes. Of course the guy who just moved across the street is the newest counter-intelligence agent in the CIA who routinely is investigation The Jennings activities but never actually crosses paths with them except in the finale but did not get a good look at them in their disguises. The biggest disappointment of the first season was how uninteresting Margo Martindale. Yost brought her in after she deservedly won an Emmy for her role of Mags Bennett on Justified but her character just did not add anything as the Jennings’ handler except the time she bruised Elizabeth’s fists with her face.

But these complaints really are due to unfair comparisons to Justified and Homeland, two of my favorite shows. On its own, The Americans was still an edge of your seat cat and mouse game between the Jennings and Stan as they join each other for cookouts on their time off from spying. And where I thought from the beginning that The Jennings would eventually get turned and become double agents for the CIA at some point in the series (I always go back to the offer the turncoat KGB agent they captured offered them), the most fascinating part of the finale was when Nina’s boss made it a top priority that she try and turn Stan. Now going forward it may be a question of who turns both. Of course if this were Homeland, they probably would both turn on their country and be shocked when they run into each other at a CIA or KGB meeting.


Still, it was hard not to be disappointed by the finale. In the end nothing changed. The Jennings did not get caught and Stan and the rest of the CIA are no closer to catching than they were at the beginning of the season. I thought for sure Nina would not make it out of the season alive, or at the very least be resigned to a life in Siberia, but she is still around as a double agent, her alliances just switch back. Maybe I was just conditioned by Homeland to expect one mind blowing game changer per week (for better or worse) I was expecting The Americans would have at least one in a season. With the last scene, I thought,, okay, at least the daughter will learn of her parents double lives, but even that just ended on a cliffhanger. Did she find her parent's stash? Does it even matter? Is the son more worthless and Bobby Draper and Chris Brody combined? I guess we have to wait until next season for the answers.

The Americans 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. You can download The Americans on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/28/13

Mad Men: Okay, the show is officially messing with the viewers now. C’mon, Jefferson D’Arcy? Add him to the list of sometimes blink and you missed it cameos from Alex Mack, Mr. Belding, Rory Gilmore, the dude from The Nanny, and the recently Don conquest of Lindsey Weir. And Jefferson totally distracted from the appearance of the chick from Sugar and Spice as Joan’s sister (? I am not entire sure what that relationship was). Is it some deeply meta ploy to cast retro actors in a retro show? At any rate it gets distracting. I had to go straight to my computer after the show just to make sure my mind was not playing tricks on me and I really saw a fat Jefferson D’Arcy proposition Don Draper in a wife swap (something I am sure he tried while married to Marcy multiple times).

Until he popped up on screen, I was going to spend most of this space wondering who was interested in following Dawn home a season later. And speaking of the show messing with me, why was Allison Brie listed as a Special Guest Star and completely missing from the episode? Has it been in the credits all season and I just missed it or was she left on the cutting room floor, but kept in the credits for union reasons? I am also interested in how Harry learned of how Joan got het partnership. I do not remember him being in the room when it was suggested she help land Jaguar (but then again I have a hard time remembering what happened last week). Did someone tell him or did he not know and just correctly guessed that is how a woman like Joan could become partner?
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Vikings: I had a feeling the priest would be the one that would be offered to the Gods but somehow would manage to get out of it, he is too interesting of a character to let go of this early. Though he apparently has not renounced Jesus Christ in his heart yet, I wonder if it will happen eventually. I have noticed he no longer shaves the circle in his head.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

The Voice: I covered all the singing during my most recent Power Rankings, but I did not get to talk about “the new coach who shocks his fellow judges and producers.” Now I have watched every episode of Survivor and their promo so I am used to a Mark Burnett production to talk in absurd hyperbole, but this ended not even being a letdown or disappointing. It just did not happen. What exactly did Usher do that was so shocking? Not pushing his button until Cathia started walking down the steps? He did that with his other Steal but let the guy walk past him before pressing his button. Was it him calling Shakira narcissistic? I guess that was a little shocking.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is befuddling to me that there has been about a decade’s worth of Food Auctions and there are still people who waste their money on food. Seriously, you hold your money until Jeff offers up a clue. That is Survivor 101. And you certainly do not let someone who is not in your alliance get that clue. How the remnants of Stealth-R-Us let Malcolm get the clue when they still had enough money to outbid him is beyond me. At least that led to one of my most favorite scenes ever on the show with Malcolm and Andrea sitting on a log for an entire day. The whole episode could have been those two sitting there and I would not have mind. But if I am Malcolm, I keep searching even if Andrea is there. She already knows what you are doing. Worst case scenario is she is the one that finds it, and since she has the numbers, she does not even need it. I wonder now if Andrea or Cochran go back there and looks for it now that Malcolm is out. Did Malcolm tell the rest of the Douchebag Alliance where it was?
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: I knew someone would eventually become a double agent, the question was when. Although I guess Nina is technically a triple agent now (assuming her boss taker her up on her offer and not sent her to Siberia). And with the FBI now closing in on the Jennings, they know have multiple sketches of them and know they are bugging their office, I wonder if they will be forced to become double agents at some point, which is something I thought was going to happen back in the premiere when the other turncoat made the offer. Although it would be really interesting is one becomes a double agent unbeknownst to the other. What really surprised me was Clarke getting married to Martha. Never saw that coming. Now I wonder if Martha will survive the season.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It really is annoying whenever the show taps into my own experiences and uses them on the show to show how crazy Sheldon is (though I disagree about the quality of Heroes drecressing until the point it was satisfyingly canceled, Heroes was never good to begin with), so I knew pretty early on as soon as Amy left, Sheldon would go back and complete everything because that would totally be something I would do.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Hannibal: With her taking the week off, it became clear to me Abigail Hobbs is the most interesting character on the show. Even though I never read the books or saw the movies, we know where Hannibal and Will land, but what is fascination about the show is figuring out where Abigail will end up. Will she end up being Dr. Lecter’s apprentice, or will she go to FBI school to be more like Will. If you missed Abigail like me, make sure you check out the Hannibal Webisobes (six in all) which features Ms. Hobbs taking up Dr. Lecter’s offer to have dinner with him. Alana Bloom also started to get interesting during the webisobes.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Happy Endings: It looks increasingly likely that this show is going to be canceled (unless it gets a reprieve from TBS or the increasing numbers of channels and steaming sites) and after the besmirched the good name of Better Than Ezra, I am glad they will probably be off the air forever after next week. How dare they call BTE a one hit wonder?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Happy Endings on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 4/27/13

Quote of the Week: Everybody is scared there, women crying in the ladies room, men crying in the elevator. It sounds like New Year's Eve when they empty the garbage, there's so many bottles. – (Dawn Chambers, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: The Day That Never Comes - Metallica (Once Upon a Time)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: NFL Draft: Surprisingly the Browns did not waste a first round pick on a thirty year old quarterback that is worse than ones already on the team. But there are still a couple more rounds left to screw things up.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"The Colonel" The Americans, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Cercas Blancas EP – Needtobreathe (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: $3.99 Albums: Get deeply discounted albums from Van Halen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Blake Shelton and Maroon 5:


New Album Release of the Week: If The River Was Whiskey - Spin Doctors

New DVD Release of the Week: History of the Eagles

Video of the Week: After the success of the Veronica Mars movie Kickstarter campaign, the question was what would come next. That answer came this week when Zach Braff started to take donations for Wish I Was Here, the first movie he would write and direct after Garden State. Even though I enjoy his previous movie, I am not as inclined to donate as I did for Veronica Mars (not that it matters because by the time you read this, the Kickstarter will probably have already reached its $2 million goal) but I do fully endorse watching the video Zach made to promote the campaign featuring a cameo from one of his Garden State co-stars that you may not have even known was in the movie but now an award winning actor.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Americans, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX: The Americans started off easily the best new show of the season, and though Hannibal bumped it down to number two, the show remains one of the more engrossing shows on television. My fear of rooting for a bunch of communist did not come to fruition because, despite a bit sympathetic, the Jennings really never become all that likeable. But neither did the good guys with Stan sleeping with the enemy while blowing the head off another one when he probably should not have. With as many twists and turns this season, who knows what they have in store for us in the finale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/21/13

Mad Men: Maybe it was because there was only one hour this week or it featured the triumphant return of Trudy Campbell, but this episode was much more entertaining. Can we please, instead of continue to pop into the life of Fat Betty, just use all that screen time to see what Trudy is up to? Actually I wish the show would feature more Trudy and less Pete.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: As I have stated multiple times, Blake is clearly the best coach on the show and I have agree with him more than any other judge when it comes to picking Battles and other decisions, but letting go of Caroline Glaser was a colossal mistake on his part. I actually do like Danielle Bradbery and glad she advanced (she was number 9 on my Blind Auditions Power Rankings) but there is just something special (or dare I say diaphanous) about Caroline’s voice where you just cannot dump her this soon in the competition. Thankfully Adam (and Usher) wisely went for the Steal. Hopefully she will turn into this year’s Amanda Brown for Adam.

What exactly is Blake doing this season? I remember last season he flat out said that he only want to take one country artist to the Live Shows (and did the same the previous two seasons) yet this season he placed a non-country artist with a country one and each time, the more country artist advanced, and considering Savannah Berry, his best country artist is yet to come he will at least have five country singers going to the Knockout Round (montage contestant Justin Rivers could make it a clean sweep). Maybe after two straight wins, he is going country or going bust this season. Too bad he did not tell Caroline and his other non-country contestants his plan when he was fighting for them in the Blind Auditions. So do not get comfortable Taylor Beckham and whoever he steals next, you probably will not be spending too much time on Team Blake.

Really the only other thing that stuck out to me this week is how dramatic the makeovers were. At her Blind Audition, Caroline was dressed like my grandmother but transformed into some hippie chic model (note to Caroline: wear your glasses more often, and by more often I mean always). But the most dramatic change was Amber Carrington who looked like she was dressed for a PTA meeting at her audition but looked significantly better when they put her hair up and a more fitting dress on her. And she won, and rightfully so. Sasha Allen just over sang the song and her flaws were very apparent while singing with Amber.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: How disappointing that we did not get to see the wedding planner’s “redonkulous” body. But there again, there is always the internet where you can do an image search of Mircea Monroe. Ted was complete right.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: The writers deserve a pass considering the conditions they were under while writing this season, but that was a really odd plot twist at the end. Essentially J.R. committed suicide just to frame Cliff Barnes for that murder. And it was a little weird that no one seemed to care that his henchmen killed him. You would think they would be a little mad that he let think J.R. was murdered and not tell them that J.R. was dying so they could at least say goodbye. But anyway. Now with Cliff and Rylan in jail (I do have a feeling the latter will be getting out by the second episode next season) apparently the big bad next season will be Elena. Alrighty. So all this time she grew up with some dude who would end up running a drug cartel?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: My favorite part of the episode is they put handcuffs on Bigfoot without bothering to take off his costume. If Beckett was so skeptical about the existence of Bigfoot, then why did she have oversized handcuffs on her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: All shows are guilty of hyperbole when it comes to promos, but Survivor may be the worst of them all. Finally the show lived up to the hype with “one of the craziest Tribal Councils EVER” (not so much with Dawn losing her mind over a lost retainer) with Malcolm pulling out his two Idols, then telling the dominate alliance that they have to turn on themselves. And who would have guessed that Erik, the Dumbest Survivor Contestant Ever, would be smart enough to point out it would wise to not play the Idol because no one would be stupid enough to vote for someone who says they are going to play it (keep in mind this season was filmed before Malcolm successfully pulled that same bluff last season). So even though Special Agent Sheppard ended up going home, it still was an entertaining Tribal.

That was until I went to sleep that night and thought about the episode and the history of Survivor. I racked my brains and could not think of a time when the producers of the show put a second Hidden Immunity back into the game post merge. Come to think of it, I could not remember a season when they put any more Hidden Immunity Idols back in play after they were used after the merge. So the episode started out with the Stealth R Us alliance having the numbers to easily vote out a member of the Douchebag even with a Hidden Immunity Idol because they had enough people to split the votes. Then during the episode, there is an Immunity Challenge that clearly favors athletic guys that Douchebag #1 wins fairly easily with Douchebag #3 in a close second (Douchebag #2 stupidly got eliminated) and then Douchebag #3 just happens to find a Hidden Immunity Idol even though none have been put back into the game after the merge before making them bullet proof at Tribal? That just does not pass the sniff test. I call shenanigans. That does not pass the sniff test
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: I have been down on this season because they focused too much time on the adults, put Tessa in a boring relationship with a jock, and neutered Dalia. The last hour seemed like a reboot back to what I loved about the first season, even with an action film quality fight inn the halls of a high school. And I am not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed that I easily recognized the song on Lisa’s cat mix as It Must Have Been Love by Roxette. But that makes me wonder if you have to pay a licensing fee for a song if you recreate it with cat sounds? On a side note, if the show gets renewed, they need to figure out how to get Tessa to dance more next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: I was reading a couple weeks ago how someone complained about this show saying that the show could go nowhere because we know how it ends (the Jennings will be on the losing side) which means the show will lose most of its tension. And though I doubt the Russians will end up winning the Cold War on the show, it is clear we are living in an alternative timeline where anything can happen, live a scientist and multiple FBI agents can be blown up (image if that happened today) or a Russian General being killed in the Mother Land. But the most fascinating part of this episode was that Elizabeth had some good old fashion American fun for the very first time.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: After a very long single shot opening, I thought they would not have a cut in the entire episode (sans the commercial breaks of course) and would have been much more interesting if they did. And goodness was Evil Annie extremely attractive. And despite airing the Christmas episode almost a month after Easter, the delay did have a timely Hannibal Lecter reference that now airs the same night.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: After the premiere, I was trolling the message board and came upon an interesting theory that Dr. Lecter was feeding human meat to Will in that dinner he prepared for him. I bring this up because this week Abigail asked, “He was feeding them (the girls her father killed) to us” to witch Dr. Lecter responded, “Very likely.” That pretty much confirms to me that he was feeding human remains to Will, and basically everyone he cooks a meal for.

Another basically confirmed mystery this episode is the Hannibal is the copycat killer. It certainly was not a coincidence that he heard Will’s lecture on how the copycat would never kill like that again, and as soon as the team returned Minnesota, another girl was hung up by antlers in a place Hannibal knew everyone would be the next day.

It is also surprising how great a character Abigail is (okay it should not be that surprising considering Bryan Fuller is involved and the guy knows how to make you feel something about bit characters). Who would of guess a teen girl could go toe to toe with Hannibal Lecter but I do hope they find ways to work her into the rest of the season. Those if she remains a key figure in the show, I have a feeling she will be dead or in jail by the end of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/14/13

Shameless: So it looks like Steve may really be sleeping with the fishes. Granted it is hard to believe he really is dead without actually seeing a body. And then Fiona wastes the money for her on plastic cups. Alrighty. I wonder just what her and Kev plan on doing with them.

Mad Men: Wow that was a boring two hours. In lieu of discussing what happened because I may fall asleep at my keyboard, I will instead just post a power ranking of facial hair at Sterling Cooper Draper Price:
1. Harry Crane
2. Ginsburg
3. Don Draper
4. Bert Cooper
5. Stan Rizzo
6. Roger Sterling
7. Ken Cosgrove
8. The Annoying New Guy
9. Betty Draper
10. Pete Campbell
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

House of Lies: I did not see the team fracture like that. I guess it should not be too surprising that Clyde would jump ship even though he almost showed a conscience earlier this season, but for Doug to not follow his mentor was shocking.

The Voice: I pretty much summed up my thoughts on the week, and the entire Blind Audition in the Power Rankings, but I got to thinking that since then like bringing back people to audition again, maybe they should put even those who do not get picked on iTunes and whoever sells the most downloads will get an automatic invitation to the auditions next season. I have a feeling Jane Smith would have charted higher than a vast majority of the people that did make a team (which may be why the show currently does not do this. But anyway. Here my favorite performance of the week (and second of the season): Caroline Glaser.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Dallas: I have made light of I’m sorry your parent dies sex, even on this show, but I’m sorry your father was responsible for killing your unborn children sex is much more disturbing.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Another nerve racking episode. How dare the brolliance target Andrea? Serves them right to waste an Immunity Idol. Really dumb move by Douchebag #1 to give his to Malcolm. Not dumb enough to be an automatic inclusion whenever I update my list of The Dumbest Survivor Constants Ever list, but he will definitely be in consideration. C’mon Douchebag #, who cares if they did vote out Malcolm, Now you are still in the minority without a safely net and have to win every Immunity Challenge to make to the finals without fail (or hope they target Malcolm and Eddie first, then go on a winning streak).

I am surprised that everyone keeps trying to turn Dawn thinking she is on the bottom. For most of the game, I have assumed the top of that alliance was Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, and Philip. But two weeks in a row, they approached her, and two weeks, she used that to help her alliance take out the right person. And even though Douchebag #1 made a boneheaded decision, Douchebag #2 just got played by Andrea fiddle. Between this is his inability to realize his four person hot alliance was less than the six ugly people alliance, he is eligible for the Dumb list too. Serious, what happens if he does not tip Andrea’s name? Do they really vote for Malcolm who uses Douchebag #1’s Idol and Andrea?

And what was Philip doing tipping his hand? Sure Boston Rob got rid of anyone who he thought may turn on him, but he never let them know until he wrote their name down on the parchment. Unless Philip did that to make the brolliance think they were voting for Malcolm to make Michael and easy vote, but I am not sure he is that devious. Now Malcolm knows Philip is gunning for him and Philip knows Malcolm knows. Now the question is do the Favorite feel comfortable now the Idol has been flushed and put all their votes Malcolm next week or the still split just in case? Cochran is an overthinker so he has to know there is another Idol that can be in play and Andrea is clearly paranoid after last episode. Oh yeah, and Dan may be going crazy next week. But even if she pulls herself out of the game, the Favorite can split the votes three ways for a tie to flush out the Idol and vote out the other guy in a revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: Two shocking deaths in two weeks. This week may have been more shocking because I thought they would use Gregory to continue the wedge between Elizabeth and Philip. Almost as shocking was Elizabeth going soft by actually letting Gregory walk out the door alive. I was a bit disappointed that Gregory somehow managed to survive the shootout at least for a little bit, long enough for Stan to ask him a question or two in the hospital.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Zombie-Community does a musical puppet show. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: Holy Wonderfalls reference! Too bad Gretchen did not run into her old high school friend Jaye. Or least her Doppelganger. I am just going to assume that Jaye has spent the last decade in a mental institution and will not be released until a Kickstarter movie gets made.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/7/13

Revenge: Booooooo!!! How dare they kill off Rebecca Logan? Seriously Creepy Initiative Dude, why keep her alive six weeks only to kill her? This show really trying my patience. C’mon, they kill of Rebecca Logan and Charlotte is still around, slapping people at parties?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Clearly the scariest zombie the popped up on screen this episode was the commercial for the walking corpse that is The Killing. Truly horrifying that the show is returning for a third season. But anyway. After giving Andrea her own episode two weeks ago they actually killed her off. Good riddance. I guess it was artistically cool that she basically went out like her sister, even by her own hadn again, but it is hard to care when you have never cared about the character. This leaves only five original actors from the first season. Who would have guessed Carol would outlast everyone? But it looks like they are going to get an influx of new red shirts for next season when they literally bussed in a bunch of old folks and children who were too weak to fight from Woodbury. Yeah, that will turn out well. Much like Peter, Bjorn, and John, I don’t really care about the young folks taking about the young stuff. And I don’t care about the old folds talking about the old style too. And why go back to the prison at all?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: They are not really going to kill off Steve are they? Not that I would mind that much, I am beginning to think the show would have been better had he stayed on the lamb. And who knew Frank had it in him to take the fall for Carl. Did not see that coming.

The Voice: There is nothing I hate more then when people whine about semi-professionals being on the show because they think those contestants have an unfair advantage. I watch the show because the semi-professional makes the show much better than the armature competitions out there. And the unfair advantage argument does not hold because the three most successful people to ever have auditioned failed to get anyone to turn a chair. Last season one hit wonder Cupid and Christopher Trousdale, who sold a million records as part of Dream Street went home early. And this week Julie Roberts, who has a gold record, could not even get her acquaintance Blake Shelton to turn around. Personally I am disjointed that I have not recognized any contestant this season. Where is the token Warped Tour Chick for the season (granted Cassadee Pope did not show until the last week last season.

One complaint I do have had about The Voice is that it lacked a true rock judge (Adam Levine is more a pop-RnB guy even if his band has a guitar player). Maybe Shakira will fill that box. This week she picked up Brandon Rouch who looks like he fronted a band from Seattle twenty years ago as well as returning rock singer Garrett Garnder (who almost did not get anyone to turn around two straight seasons until Sharika pushed her button at the last second). And who would have guessed Seven Nation Army would become the standard from The White Stripes library? This is the third straight season someone perform the song. I would have guessed We’re Going to Be Friends would be their song most likely to become a standard.

Oddly they cut down the Blind Auditions by three hours this season, with only twelve contestants per team, down from sixteen last season but back to season two numbers. This makes me wonder if they are already getting rid of the useless Knockout Round. But does that also mean are they getting rid of The Steal because I do not see them having seven or eight contestants from each team in the Live Round. My guess is they will have the Battle Round with a Steal (Shakira already mentioned stealing people), the Knockout Round (which hopefully they introduce another steal) with four or five contestants per team making it to the Live Rounds.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Dallas: When the babies flat lined last week, I did not give much thought to it because assumed they would revive them by this week. Wow, they actually let the twins die. I not sure if that was the right decision because the storylines might be much better tying Christopher and Pamela forever. But in the short term, it will be interesting if Pamela will eventually find out her father was behind the explosion.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: I knew from the beginning that Castle’s imagination was getting the best of him by thinking his across the street neighbor killed his girlfriend, but I have to admit by the time Beckett went over there, I starting thinking that maybe he was a murderer. And that was a great reveal that the whole thing was an giant birthday present. Which was a good thing because the other plot was a bit boring.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: A good episode, but it seemed to be lacking something as a season finale. The scene with Raylan telling Augustine he would not leave the limo alive, even saying he had not left the limo yet as he exited it himself to like Sonny Tonin gun down Augustine was classic Raylan, and would have been a great moment for a middle of the season episode, but I wanted more. And it was weird that a season about getting Drew Thomson the finale lacked Drew Thompson, and the reason the FBI wanted Drew Thomson, Theo Tonin skipped town to the extradition free country of Tunisia. I wonder if Alan Arkin was unavailable all season and if this season would have been any different had he would had made an appearance.

So no Drew Thompson and no Ellen May (also conspicuously absent: Johnny Crowder who I am surprised made it out of the season alive) but Boyd and Ava had to spend the episode trying to clean up Ellen May’s confession, ultimately failing. I do not think it was a wise decision for the funeral director to let Boyd to stay out of jail, that will come back to bite him next season. Hopefully Ava gets sent to a co-ed prison where she can bunk with Dewey Crowe and Dickey Bennett.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: When I compiled my list of The 25 Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list fout seasons ago, number one was a no brainer to the point of being the most obvious number one of any list I have ever compiled: Erik giving up his Immunity Necklace. Though Brandon Hantz came close, Erik would still grab the top spot if I were ever to update the list. So it was quite amazing that the rest of this season rested in the hands of the ice cream scooper. This led to one of the most heart racing Tribal Councils in recent memory as you tried to figure out which way Erik (and to a lesser extent Sherri who took a defeatist attitude at tribal council).

Thankfully he chose wisely because had he gone with the alpha male alliance, it would have been a slow slog to the finale as the vote out their former Favorites tribemates. Instead now you have a solid alliance of four (Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, Philip), their lackeys (Brenda, Erik), two people completely on the outs (Sheri, Michael), and what’s left of the alpha male alliance (Malcolm, Douchebag #1, Douchebag #2) who would seem like the first three to go, except they have two Immunity Idols between them. So the solid alliance needs to keep Sheri with them AND recruit Michael (I told Philip it was a huge mistake to let Corrine keep Michael over Julia) to have enough people to split the votes. And even then, what if the two people the split the vote with both use an Idol? And what if the two lackeys and the Fans team up with the final Alpha Male Alliance member. So not only was the fate of the season in Erik’s hands once this season, it may not be the only vote where Erik becomes the deciding vote. God help us all.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Wait, Hayley grows up to be Justine Bateman? What?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I find it interesting that during the Ho Hey sing-along, Deakon chose to shout the former instead of the latter at Rayna. And with all the interaction with Maddie this episode (he even told her she looked more like her mother than her father, who is not even her real father), I wonder when exactly is Deakon going to find out that she is his daughter.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Before I talk about this episode, for those who watched via DVR and had the final eight minutes cut off, you can re-watch the episode at fxnetworks.com until May 15.

I still think of the Jennings children the same way I do Chris Brody and Bobby Draper (not at all) but I did love the daughter’s reaction to the potential big news (mom’s too old to be pregnant) and the son’s history report (America won). But it was a nice tension breaker in what turned out to being the shocking plot twist that Philip inadvertently killed Stan’s partner. A real game changer of an episode.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Uh oh, Allison has some Brie competition with the arrival of Larson to the show. But it was very disappointing that did not have a Brie off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: I feared with the serious subject manner that Bryan Fuller’s trademark wit would somehow get lost in the adaptation, but those fears were put to rest when Lawrence Fishburn yelled at someone to use the ladies room so he would continue to yell at someone without being bothered. And Dr. Lecter and his patient was pretty humorous too.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Well that was the most boring Groundhogs Day homage ever. At least they let us now Ethan Embry was the young boy by the end of the episode because it was pretty obvious who the young boy would grow up to be. But this begs the question, is has his father remain in suspended animation like the rest of Storybrooke all this time or is old enough to join AARP now? Presumably he has been hanging out in the dungeon Belle was all these years.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So much for no more distractions. Now Emily has multiple distractions between her foster brother and whatever Jack is up to.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: The show really does not know its audience when it does an Andrea-centric episode.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: The sad thing is, I do not think Frank becoming a gay icon even ranks in his top five most offensive scams.

House of Lies: Wait, did Clyde actually develop a conscience? He would be the last in the pod that I thought would feel bad that he orphaned a kid.

Vikings: When the previews showed the Vikings invading English speaking countries I wondered how the show would deal with the language barrier. Two episodes later and the answer is a resounding not very well. Sometimes they both speak English and not understand each other and this week they have both parties subtitled and not understanding each other. They should have just kept the Vikings speaking English and just have the English speak Gaelic or some other dead language. But I do like the new relationship between Ragnar and the priest. He is a much more interesting foil to Ragnar than the Earl is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

How I Met Your Mother: If Barney’s bed was not supposed to be an homage to Remote Control, I am going to go ahead and pretend it is.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: With the reintroduction of Gary Ewing and his wife, you have to wonder if TNT is toying with the idea of a Knot’s Landing reboot.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: Not The Killing bad, but I am still a bit disappointed with the killer’s reveal. I long wrote off Robert because I could not see him killing his own daughter after the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail. And we still do not know why he killed her. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have predicting since the beginning of the show that Allison was still alive and later she was under the red hood despite her body being identified, and this is the closest thing to a confirmation with both Hanna and Mona seeing a not so dead Allison pulling them out of the fire. But I am not totally convinced what they saw was indeed Allison. But if it was, then were the other time the Liars saw Allison in dream like sequences, like when Aria was being drugged by her dad’s girlfriend, or when Emily was trapped in the barn when she was looking for the psychiatrist? And if Red Hood did not start the fire, does that mean Jenna, Melissa and the random lesbian who showed up last week (is she just a stand in because the actor they wanted was not available?) did do it? And is the start of a war between The A-Team and what I would like to coin The Dukes of Hazard (the second best television show of the eighties) with the Liars caught in the middle? And what the frack was in the trunk? Or should I be asking who?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: When it was shown that Drew skipped down on the 4:30 train I tho9ught why did Raylan not go with him instead stay in the principal’s office where he could get gunned down by Tonin’s thugs. I realized quickly that was a stupid question because of course Raylan is going to stick around and taunt Boyd and Tonin’s boys because he is Raylan Motherfracking Givins. If there is a hard way to do something, Raylan is going to do it. And that ended up being the best scene in the episode. Well that and Constable Bob getting beat to the sounds of Love Train. Actually, now that I type that out, I realized that was an awesome foreshadowing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is hard not to think of Laura’s plea to her tribe two weeks ago saying they should keep her because strength would not necessarily translate to wins and you never know when there would be a twist. The next week the Fans lost the Reward Challenge even with Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 and were gifted Immunity when Brandon Hantz went, well, Brandon Hantz. Then the very next week, they switched up the tribes and now Sherri is stuck on a tribe with four Favorites and the only Fans with her are Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2. Speaking of Brandon, all he had to do was keep it together another day or two and he could have joined up with some Fan in a new tribe either vote Philip out or be in a tribe with no Philip. But that is not the Hantz way. And it is interesting that Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 managed to be on a tribe with the two on the outskirts of the Favorite tribe which makes you wonder if they stay loyal to the Favorites or jump ship. But after the challenge, they may never have to make that decision.

I do not know what was more surprising: that Special Agent Philip Sheppard admitting he never went to college, what exactly are the requirements for the FBI, or Julia spoke for the first time and was not voted off. I pegged her as the token contestant this season that does not get any screen time until the episode they are voted off. Maybe that will turn out to be Brenda this season. One more thing, Corrine’s love for gay homosexuals really bordered on creepy. I was really hoping that after one of her numerous comments on the subject the camera cut to Michael, who I not even remember up to this point even talking about his sexuality, who would say something like get this crazy chick away from me.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: This season has not been as entertaining as the first mostly because they have chosen to focus too much on the adults (the show needs more Dalia) but it was almost worth the extra old people storylines just to hear George’s rock version of Bump N' Grind.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: Well that was an interesting plot twist with Philip all but asking Elizabeth for a divorse. Although I do not agree with him that the KGB would agree with him that it would be okay because they are not really married in their eyes to begin with so there is no need to get a divorce. But as they slowly become more American (Philip even faster), I have to wonder at what point, if ever, do they switch side like suggested in the premiere.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.