57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/28/13

Mad Men: Okay, the show is officially messing with the viewers now. C’mon, Jefferson D’Arcy? Add him to the list of sometimes blink and you missed it cameos from Alex Mack, Mr. Belding, Rory Gilmore, the dude from The Nanny, and the recently Don conquest of Lindsey Weir. And Jefferson totally distracted from the appearance of the chick from Sugar and Spice as Joan’s sister (? I am not entire sure what that relationship was). Is it some deeply meta ploy to cast retro actors in a retro show? At any rate it gets distracting. I had to go straight to my computer after the show just to make sure my mind was not playing tricks on me and I really saw a fat Jefferson D’Arcy proposition Don Draper in a wife swap (something I am sure he tried while married to Marcy multiple times).

Until he popped up on screen, I was going to spend most of this space wondering who was interested in following Dawn home a season later. And speaking of the show messing with me, why was Allison Brie listed as a Special Guest Star and completely missing from the episode? Has it been in the credits all season and I just missed it or was she left on the cutting room floor, but kept in the credits for union reasons? I am also interested in how Harry learned of how Joan got het partnership. I do not remember him being in the room when it was suggested she help land Jaguar (but then again I have a hard time remembering what happened last week). Did someone tell him or did he not know and just correctly guessed that is how a woman like Joan could become partner?
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Vikings: I had a feeling the priest would be the one that would be offered to the Gods but somehow would manage to get out of it, he is too interesting of a character to let go of this early. Though he apparently has not renounced Jesus Christ in his heart yet, I wonder if it will happen eventually. I have noticed he no longer shaves the circle in his head.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

The Voice: I covered all the singing during my most recent Power Rankings, but I did not get to talk about “the new coach who shocks his fellow judges and producers.” Now I have watched every episode of Survivor and their promo so I am used to a Mark Burnett production to talk in absurd hyperbole, but this ended not even being a letdown or disappointing. It just did not happen. What exactly did Usher do that was so shocking? Not pushing his button until Cathia started walking down the steps? He did that with his other Steal but let the guy walk past him before pressing his button. Was it him calling Shakira narcissistic? I guess that was a little shocking.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is befuddling to me that there has been about a decade’s worth of Food Auctions and there are still people who waste their money on food. Seriously, you hold your money until Jeff offers up a clue. That is Survivor 101. And you certainly do not let someone who is not in your alliance get that clue. How the remnants of Stealth-R-Us let Malcolm get the clue when they still had enough money to outbid him is beyond me. At least that led to one of my most favorite scenes ever on the show with Malcolm and Andrea sitting on a log for an entire day. The whole episode could have been those two sitting there and I would not have mind. But if I am Malcolm, I keep searching even if Andrea is there. She already knows what you are doing. Worst case scenario is she is the one that finds it, and since she has the numbers, she does not even need it. I wonder now if Andrea or Cochran go back there and looks for it now that Malcolm is out. Did Malcolm tell the rest of the Douchebag Alliance where it was?
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: I knew someone would eventually become a double agent, the question was when. Although I guess Nina is technically a triple agent now (assuming her boss taker her up on her offer and not sent her to Siberia). And with the FBI now closing in on the Jennings, they know have multiple sketches of them and know they are bugging their office, I wonder if they will be forced to become double agents at some point, which is something I thought was going to happen back in the premiere when the other turncoat made the offer. Although it would be really interesting is one becomes a double agent unbeknownst to the other. What really surprised me was Clarke getting married to Martha. Never saw that coming. Now I wonder if Martha will survive the season.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It really is annoying whenever the show taps into my own experiences and uses them on the show to show how crazy Sheldon is (though I disagree about the quality of Heroes drecressing until the point it was satisfyingly canceled, Heroes was never good to begin with), so I knew pretty early on as soon as Amy left, Sheldon would go back and complete everything because that would totally be something I would do.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Hannibal: With her taking the week off, it became clear to me Abigail Hobbs is the most interesting character on the show. Even though I never read the books or saw the movies, we know where Hannibal and Will land, but what is fascination about the show is figuring out where Abigail will end up. Will she end up being Dr. Lecter’s apprentice, or will she go to FBI school to be more like Will. If you missed Abigail like me, make sure you check out the Hannibal Webisobes (six in all) which features Ms. Hobbs taking up Dr. Lecter’s offer to have dinner with him. Alana Bloom also started to get interesting during the webisobes.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Happy Endings: It looks increasingly likely that this show is going to be canceled (unless it gets a reprieve from TBS or the increasing numbers of channels and steaming sites) and after the besmirched the good name of Better Than Ezra, I am glad they will probably be off the air forever after next week. How dare they call BTE a one hit wonder?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Happy Endings on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 4/27/13

Quote of the Week: Everybody is scared there, women crying in the ladies room, men crying in the elevator. It sounds like New Year's Eve when they empty the garbage, there's so many bottles. – (Dawn Chambers, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: The Day That Never Comes - Metallica (Once Upon a Time)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: NFL Draft: Surprisingly the Browns did not waste a first round pick on a thirty year old quarterback that is worse than ones already on the team. But there are still a couple more rounds left to screw things up.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"The Colonel" The Americans, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Cercas Blancas EP – Needtobreathe (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: $3.99 Albums: Get deeply discounted albums from Van Halen, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Blake Shelton and Maroon 5:


New Album Release of the Week: If The River Was Whiskey - Spin Doctors

New DVD Release of the Week: History of the Eagles

Video of the Week: After the success of the Veronica Mars movie Kickstarter campaign, the question was what would come next. That answer came this week when Zach Braff started to take donations for Wish I Was Here, the first movie he would write and direct after Garden State. Even though I enjoy his previous movie, I am not as inclined to donate as I did for Veronica Mars (not that it matters because by the time you read this, the Kickstarter will probably have already reached its $2 million goal) but I do fully endorse watching the video Zach made to promote the campaign featuring a cameo from one of his Garden State co-stars that you may not have even known was in the movie but now an award winning actor.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Americans, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX: The Americans started off easily the best new show of the season, and though Hannibal bumped it down to number two, the show remains one of the more engrossing shows on television. My fear of rooting for a bunch of communist did not come to fruition because, despite a bit sympathetic, the Jennings really never become all that likeable. But neither did the good guys with Stan sleeping with the enemy while blowing the head off another one when he probably should not have. With as many twists and turns this season, who knows what they have in store for us in the finale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/21/13

Mad Men: Maybe it was because there was only one hour this week or it featured the triumphant return of Trudy Campbell, but this episode was much more entertaining. Can we please, instead of continue to pop into the life of Fat Betty, just use all that screen time to see what Trudy is up to? Actually I wish the show would feature more Trudy and less Pete.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: As I have stated multiple times, Blake is clearly the best coach on the show and I have agree with him more than any other judge when it comes to picking Battles and other decisions, but letting go of Caroline Glaser was a colossal mistake on his part. I actually do like Danielle Bradbery and glad she advanced (she was number 9 on my Blind Auditions Power Rankings) but there is just something special (or dare I say diaphanous) about Caroline’s voice where you just cannot dump her this soon in the competition. Thankfully Adam (and Usher) wisely went for the Steal. Hopefully she will turn into this year’s Amanda Brown for Adam.

What exactly is Blake doing this season? I remember last season he flat out said that he only want to take one country artist to the Live Shows (and did the same the previous two seasons) yet this season he placed a non-country artist with a country one and each time, the more country artist advanced, and considering Savannah Berry, his best country artist is yet to come he will at least have five country singers going to the Knockout Round (montage contestant Justin Rivers could make it a clean sweep). Maybe after two straight wins, he is going country or going bust this season. Too bad he did not tell Caroline and his other non-country contestants his plan when he was fighting for them in the Blind Auditions. So do not get comfortable Taylor Beckham and whoever he steals next, you probably will not be spending too much time on Team Blake.

Really the only other thing that stuck out to me this week is how dramatic the makeovers were. At her Blind Audition, Caroline was dressed like my grandmother but transformed into some hippie chic model (note to Caroline: wear your glasses more often, and by more often I mean always). But the most dramatic change was Amber Carrington who looked like she was dressed for a PTA meeting at her audition but looked significantly better when they put her hair up and a more fitting dress on her. And she won, and rightfully so. Sasha Allen just over sang the song and her flaws were very apparent while singing with Amber.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: How disappointing that we did not get to see the wedding planner’s “redonkulous” body. But there again, there is always the internet where you can do an image search of Mircea Monroe. Ted was complete right.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: The writers deserve a pass considering the conditions they were under while writing this season, but that was a really odd plot twist at the end. Essentially J.R. committed suicide just to frame Cliff Barnes for that murder. And it was a little weird that no one seemed to care that his henchmen killed him. You would think they would be a little mad that he let think J.R. was murdered and not tell them that J.R. was dying so they could at least say goodbye. But anyway. Now with Cliff and Rylan in jail (I do have a feeling the latter will be getting out by the second episode next season) apparently the big bad next season will be Elena. Alrighty. So all this time she grew up with some dude who would end up running a drug cartel?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: My favorite part of the episode is they put handcuffs on Bigfoot without bothering to take off his costume. If Beckett was so skeptical about the existence of Bigfoot, then why did she have oversized handcuffs on her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: All shows are guilty of hyperbole when it comes to promos, but Survivor may be the worst of them all. Finally the show lived up to the hype with “one of the craziest Tribal Councils EVER” (not so much with Dawn losing her mind over a lost retainer) with Malcolm pulling out his two Idols, then telling the dominate alliance that they have to turn on themselves. And who would have guessed that Erik, the Dumbest Survivor Contestant Ever, would be smart enough to point out it would wise to not play the Idol because no one would be stupid enough to vote for someone who says they are going to play it (keep in mind this season was filmed before Malcolm successfully pulled that same bluff last season). So even though Special Agent Sheppard ended up going home, it still was an entertaining Tribal.

That was until I went to sleep that night and thought about the episode and the history of Survivor. I racked my brains and could not think of a time when the producers of the show put a second Hidden Immunity back into the game post merge. Come to think of it, I could not remember a season when they put any more Hidden Immunity Idols back in play after they were used after the merge. So the episode started out with the Stealth R Us alliance having the numbers to easily vote out a member of the Douchebag even with a Hidden Immunity Idol because they had enough people to split the votes. Then during the episode, there is an Immunity Challenge that clearly favors athletic guys that Douchebag #1 wins fairly easily with Douchebag #3 in a close second (Douchebag #2 stupidly got eliminated) and then Douchebag #3 just happens to find a Hidden Immunity Idol even though none have been put back into the game after the merge before making them bullet proof at Tribal? That just does not pass the sniff test. I call shenanigans. That does not pass the sniff test
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: I have been down on this season because they focused too much time on the adults, put Tessa in a boring relationship with a jock, and neutered Dalia. The last hour seemed like a reboot back to what I loved about the first season, even with an action film quality fight inn the halls of a high school. And I am not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed that I easily recognized the song on Lisa’s cat mix as It Must Have Been Love by Roxette. But that makes me wonder if you have to pay a licensing fee for a song if you recreate it with cat sounds? On a side note, if the show gets renewed, they need to figure out how to get Tessa to dance more next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: I was reading a couple weeks ago how someone complained about this show saying that the show could go nowhere because we know how it ends (the Jennings will be on the losing side) which means the show will lose most of its tension. And though I doubt the Russians will end up winning the Cold War on the show, it is clear we are living in an alternative timeline where anything can happen, live a scientist and multiple FBI agents can be blown up (image if that happened today) or a Russian General being killed in the Mother Land. But the most fascinating part of this episode was that Elizabeth had some good old fashion American fun for the very first time.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: After a very long single shot opening, I thought they would not have a cut in the entire episode (sans the commercial breaks of course) and would have been much more interesting if they did. And goodness was Evil Annie extremely attractive. And despite airing the Christmas episode almost a month after Easter, the delay did have a timely Hannibal Lecter reference that now airs the same night.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: After the premiere, I was trolling the message board and came upon an interesting theory that Dr. Lecter was feeding human meat to Will in that dinner he prepared for him. I bring this up because this week Abigail asked, “He was feeding them (the girls her father killed) to us” to witch Dr. Lecter responded, “Very likely.” That pretty much confirms to me that he was feeding human remains to Will, and basically everyone he cooks a meal for.

Another basically confirmed mystery this episode is the Hannibal is the copycat killer. It certainly was not a coincidence that he heard Will’s lecture on how the copycat would never kill like that again, and as soon as the team returned Minnesota, another girl was hung up by antlers in a place Hannibal knew everyone would be the next day.

It is also surprising how great a character Abigail is (okay it should not be that surprising considering Bryan Fuller is involved and the guy knows how to make you feel something about bit characters). Who would of guess a teen girl could go toe to toe with Hannibal Lecter but I do hope they find ways to work her into the rest of the season. Those if she remains a key figure in the show, I have a feeling she will be dead or in jail by the end of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/14/13

Shameless: So it looks like Steve may really be sleeping with the fishes. Granted it is hard to believe he really is dead without actually seeing a body. And then Fiona wastes the money for her on plastic cups. Alrighty. I wonder just what her and Kev plan on doing with them.

Mad Men: Wow that was a boring two hours. In lieu of discussing what happened because I may fall asleep at my keyboard, I will instead just post a power ranking of facial hair at Sterling Cooper Draper Price:
1. Harry Crane
2. Ginsburg
3. Don Draper
4. Bert Cooper
5. Stan Rizzo
6. Roger Sterling
7. Ken Cosgrove
8. The Annoying New Guy
9. Betty Draper
10. Pete Campbell
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

House of Lies: I did not see the team fracture like that. I guess it should not be too surprising that Clyde would jump ship even though he almost showed a conscience earlier this season, but for Doug to not follow his mentor was shocking.

The Voice: I pretty much summed up my thoughts on the week, and the entire Blind Audition in the Power Rankings, but I got to thinking that since then like bringing back people to audition again, maybe they should put even those who do not get picked on iTunes and whoever sells the most downloads will get an automatic invitation to the auditions next season. I have a feeling Jane Smith would have charted higher than a vast majority of the people that did make a team (which may be why the show currently does not do this. But anyway. Here my favorite performance of the week (and second of the season): Caroline Glaser.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Dallas: I have made light of I’m sorry your parent dies sex, even on this show, but I’m sorry your father was responsible for killing your unborn children sex is much more disturbing.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Another nerve racking episode. How dare the brolliance target Andrea? Serves them right to waste an Immunity Idol. Really dumb move by Douchebag #1 to give his to Malcolm. Not dumb enough to be an automatic inclusion whenever I update my list of The Dumbest Survivor Constants Ever list, but he will definitely be in consideration. C’mon Douchebag #, who cares if they did vote out Malcolm, Now you are still in the minority without a safely net and have to win every Immunity Challenge to make to the finals without fail (or hope they target Malcolm and Eddie first, then go on a winning streak).

I am surprised that everyone keeps trying to turn Dawn thinking she is on the bottom. For most of the game, I have assumed the top of that alliance was Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, and Philip. But two weeks in a row, they approached her, and two weeks, she used that to help her alliance take out the right person. And even though Douchebag #1 made a boneheaded decision, Douchebag #2 just got played by Andrea fiddle. Between this is his inability to realize his four person hot alliance was less than the six ugly people alliance, he is eligible for the Dumb list too. Serious, what happens if he does not tip Andrea’s name? Do they really vote for Malcolm who uses Douchebag #1’s Idol and Andrea?

And what was Philip doing tipping his hand? Sure Boston Rob got rid of anyone who he thought may turn on him, but he never let them know until he wrote their name down on the parchment. Unless Philip did that to make the brolliance think they were voting for Malcolm to make Michael and easy vote, but I am not sure he is that devious. Now Malcolm knows Philip is gunning for him and Philip knows Malcolm knows. Now the question is do the Favorite feel comfortable now the Idol has been flushed and put all their votes Malcolm next week or the still split just in case? Cochran is an overthinker so he has to know there is another Idol that can be in play and Andrea is clearly paranoid after last episode. Oh yeah, and Dan may be going crazy next week. But even if she pulls herself out of the game, the Favorite can split the votes three ways for a tie to flush out the Idol and vote out the other guy in a revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: Two shocking deaths in two weeks. This week may have been more shocking because I thought they would use Gregory to continue the wedge between Elizabeth and Philip. Almost as shocking was Elizabeth going soft by actually letting Gregory walk out the door alive. I was a bit disappointed that Gregory somehow managed to survive the shootout at least for a little bit, long enough for Stan to ask him a question or two in the hospital.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Zombie-Community does a musical puppet show. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: Holy Wonderfalls reference! Too bad Gretchen did not run into her old high school friend Jaye. Or least her Doppelganger. I am just going to assume that Jaye has spent the last decade in a mental institution and will not be released until a Kickstarter movie gets made.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/7/13

Revenge: Booooooo!!! How dare they kill off Rebecca Logan? Seriously Creepy Initiative Dude, why keep her alive six weeks only to kill her? This show really trying my patience. C’mon, they kill of Rebecca Logan and Charlotte is still around, slapping people at parties?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Clearly the scariest zombie the popped up on screen this episode was the commercial for the walking corpse that is The Killing. Truly horrifying that the show is returning for a third season. But anyway. After giving Andrea her own episode two weeks ago they actually killed her off. Good riddance. I guess it was artistically cool that she basically went out like her sister, even by her own hadn again, but it is hard to care when you have never cared about the character. This leaves only five original actors from the first season. Who would have guessed Carol would outlast everyone? But it looks like they are going to get an influx of new red shirts for next season when they literally bussed in a bunch of old folks and children who were too weak to fight from Woodbury. Yeah, that will turn out well. Much like Peter, Bjorn, and John, I don’t really care about the young folks taking about the young stuff. And I don’t care about the old folds talking about the old style too. And why go back to the prison at all?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: They are not really going to kill off Steve are they? Not that I would mind that much, I am beginning to think the show would have been better had he stayed on the lamb. And who knew Frank had it in him to take the fall for Carl. Did not see that coming.

The Voice: There is nothing I hate more then when people whine about semi-professionals being on the show because they think those contestants have an unfair advantage. I watch the show because the semi-professional makes the show much better than the armature competitions out there. And the unfair advantage argument does not hold because the three most successful people to ever have auditioned failed to get anyone to turn a chair. Last season one hit wonder Cupid and Christopher Trousdale, who sold a million records as part of Dream Street went home early. And this week Julie Roberts, who has a gold record, could not even get her acquaintance Blake Shelton to turn around. Personally I am disjointed that I have not recognized any contestant this season. Where is the token Warped Tour Chick for the season (granted Cassadee Pope did not show until the last week last season.

One complaint I do have had about The Voice is that it lacked a true rock judge (Adam Levine is more a pop-RnB guy even if his band has a guitar player). Maybe Shakira will fill that box. This week she picked up Brandon Rouch who looks like he fronted a band from Seattle twenty years ago as well as returning rock singer Garrett Garnder (who almost did not get anyone to turn around two straight seasons until Sharika pushed her button at the last second). And who would have guessed Seven Nation Army would become the standard from The White Stripes library? This is the third straight season someone perform the song. I would have guessed We’re Going to Be Friends would be their song most likely to become a standard.

Oddly they cut down the Blind Auditions by three hours this season, with only twelve contestants per team, down from sixteen last season but back to season two numbers. This makes me wonder if they are already getting rid of the useless Knockout Round. But does that also mean are they getting rid of The Steal because I do not see them having seven or eight contestants from each team in the Live Round. My guess is they will have the Battle Round with a Steal (Shakira already mentioned stealing people), the Knockout Round (which hopefully they introduce another steal) with four or five contestants per team making it to the Live Rounds.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Dallas: When the babies flat lined last week, I did not give much thought to it because assumed they would revive them by this week. Wow, they actually let the twins die. I not sure if that was the right decision because the storylines might be much better tying Christopher and Pamela forever. But in the short term, it will be interesting if Pamela will eventually find out her father was behind the explosion.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: I knew from the beginning that Castle’s imagination was getting the best of him by thinking his across the street neighbor killed his girlfriend, but I have to admit by the time Beckett went over there, I starting thinking that maybe he was a murderer. And that was a great reveal that the whole thing was an giant birthday present. Which was a good thing because the other plot was a bit boring.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: A good episode, but it seemed to be lacking something as a season finale. The scene with Raylan telling Augustine he would not leave the limo alive, even saying he had not left the limo yet as he exited it himself to like Sonny Tonin gun down Augustine was classic Raylan, and would have been a great moment for a middle of the season episode, but I wanted more. And it was weird that a season about getting Drew Thomson the finale lacked Drew Thompson, and the reason the FBI wanted Drew Thomson, Theo Tonin skipped town to the extradition free country of Tunisia. I wonder if Alan Arkin was unavailable all season and if this season would have been any different had he would had made an appearance.

So no Drew Thompson and no Ellen May (also conspicuously absent: Johnny Crowder who I am surprised made it out of the season alive) but Boyd and Ava had to spend the episode trying to clean up Ellen May’s confession, ultimately failing. I do not think it was a wise decision for the funeral director to let Boyd to stay out of jail, that will come back to bite him next season. Hopefully Ava gets sent to a co-ed prison where she can bunk with Dewey Crowe and Dickey Bennett.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: When I compiled my list of The 25 Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list fout seasons ago, number one was a no brainer to the point of being the most obvious number one of any list I have ever compiled: Erik giving up his Immunity Necklace. Though Brandon Hantz came close, Erik would still grab the top spot if I were ever to update the list. So it was quite amazing that the rest of this season rested in the hands of the ice cream scooper. This led to one of the most heart racing Tribal Councils in recent memory as you tried to figure out which way Erik (and to a lesser extent Sherri who took a defeatist attitude at tribal council).

Thankfully he chose wisely because had he gone with the alpha male alliance, it would have been a slow slog to the finale as the vote out their former Favorites tribemates. Instead now you have a solid alliance of four (Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, Philip), their lackeys (Brenda, Erik), two people completely on the outs (Sheri, Michael), and what’s left of the alpha male alliance (Malcolm, Douchebag #1, Douchebag #2) who would seem like the first three to go, except they have two Immunity Idols between them. So the solid alliance needs to keep Sheri with them AND recruit Michael (I told Philip it was a huge mistake to let Corrine keep Michael over Julia) to have enough people to split the votes. And even then, what if the two people the split the vote with both use an Idol? And what if the two lackeys and the Fans team up with the final Alpha Male Alliance member. So not only was the fate of the season in Erik’s hands once this season, it may not be the only vote where Erik becomes the deciding vote. God help us all.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Wait, Hayley grows up to be Justine Bateman? What?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I find it interesting that during the Ho Hey sing-along, Deakon chose to shout the former instead of the latter at Rayna. And with all the interaction with Maddie this episode (he even told her she looked more like her mother than her father, who is not even her real father), I wonder when exactly is Deakon going to find out that she is his daughter.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Before I talk about this episode, for those who watched via DVR and had the final eight minutes cut off, you can re-watch the episode at fxnetworks.com until May 15.

I still think of the Jennings children the same way I do Chris Brody and Bobby Draper (not at all) but I did love the daughter’s reaction to the potential big news (mom’s too old to be pregnant) and the son’s history report (America won). But it was a nice tension breaker in what turned out to being the shocking plot twist that Philip inadvertently killed Stan’s partner. A real game changer of an episode.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Uh oh, Allison has some Brie competition with the arrival of Larson to the show. But it was very disappointing that did not have a Brie off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: I feared with the serious subject manner that Bryan Fuller’s trademark wit would somehow get lost in the adaptation, but those fears were put to rest when Lawrence Fishburn yelled at someone to use the ladies room so he would continue to yell at someone without being bothered. And Dr. Lecter and his patient was pretty humorous too.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Well that was the most boring Groundhogs Day homage ever. At least they let us now Ethan Embry was the young boy by the end of the episode because it was pretty obvious who the young boy would grow up to be. But this begs the question, is has his father remain in suspended animation like the rest of Storybrooke all this time or is old enough to join AARP now? Presumably he has been hanging out in the dungeon Belle was all these years.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So much for no more distractions. Now Emily has multiple distractions between her foster brother and whatever Jack is up to.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: The show really does not know its audience when it does an Andrea-centric episode.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: The sad thing is, I do not think Frank becoming a gay icon even ranks in his top five most offensive scams.

House of Lies: Wait, did Clyde actually develop a conscience? He would be the last in the pod that I thought would feel bad that he orphaned a kid.

Vikings: When the previews showed the Vikings invading English speaking countries I wondered how the show would deal with the language barrier. Two episodes later and the answer is a resounding not very well. Sometimes they both speak English and not understand each other and this week they have both parties subtitled and not understanding each other. They should have just kept the Vikings speaking English and just have the English speak Gaelic or some other dead language. But I do like the new relationship between Ragnar and the priest. He is a much more interesting foil to Ragnar than the Earl is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

How I Met Your Mother: If Barney’s bed was not supposed to be an homage to Remote Control, I am going to go ahead and pretend it is.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: With the reintroduction of Gary Ewing and his wife, you have to wonder if TNT is toying with the idea of a Knot’s Landing reboot.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: Not The Killing bad, but I am still a bit disappointed with the killer’s reveal. I long wrote off Robert because I could not see him killing his own daughter after the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail. And we still do not know why he killed her. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have predicting since the beginning of the show that Allison was still alive and later she was under the red hood despite her body being identified, and this is the closest thing to a confirmation with both Hanna and Mona seeing a not so dead Allison pulling them out of the fire. But I am not totally convinced what they saw was indeed Allison. But if it was, then were the other time the Liars saw Allison in dream like sequences, like when Aria was being drugged by her dad’s girlfriend, or when Emily was trapped in the barn when she was looking for the psychiatrist? And if Red Hood did not start the fire, does that mean Jenna, Melissa and the random lesbian who showed up last week (is she just a stand in because the actor they wanted was not available?) did do it? And is the start of a war between The A-Team and what I would like to coin The Dukes of Hazard (the second best television show of the eighties) with the Liars caught in the middle? And what the frack was in the trunk? Or should I be asking who?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: When it was shown that Drew skipped down on the 4:30 train I tho9ught why did Raylan not go with him instead stay in the principal’s office where he could get gunned down by Tonin’s thugs. I realized quickly that was a stupid question because of course Raylan is going to stick around and taunt Boyd and Tonin’s boys because he is Raylan Motherfracking Givins. If there is a hard way to do something, Raylan is going to do it. And that ended up being the best scene in the episode. Well that and Constable Bob getting beat to the sounds of Love Train. Actually, now that I type that out, I realized that was an awesome foreshadowing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is hard not to think of Laura’s plea to her tribe two weeks ago saying they should keep her because strength would not necessarily translate to wins and you never know when there would be a twist. The next week the Fans lost the Reward Challenge even with Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 and were gifted Immunity when Brandon Hantz went, well, Brandon Hantz. Then the very next week, they switched up the tribes and now Sherri is stuck on a tribe with four Favorites and the only Fans with her are Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2. Speaking of Brandon, all he had to do was keep it together another day or two and he could have joined up with some Fan in a new tribe either vote Philip out or be in a tribe with no Philip. But that is not the Hantz way. And it is interesting that Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 managed to be on a tribe with the two on the outskirts of the Favorite tribe which makes you wonder if they stay loyal to the Favorites or jump ship. But after the challenge, they may never have to make that decision.

I do not know what was more surprising: that Special Agent Philip Sheppard admitting he never went to college, what exactly are the requirements for the FBI, or Julia spoke for the first time and was not voted off. I pegged her as the token contestant this season that does not get any screen time until the episode they are voted off. Maybe that will turn out to be Brenda this season. One more thing, Corrine’s love for gay homosexuals really bordered on creepy. I was really hoping that after one of her numerous comments on the subject the camera cut to Michael, who I not even remember up to this point even talking about his sexuality, who would say something like get this crazy chick away from me.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: This season has not been as entertaining as the first mostly because they have chosen to focus too much on the adults (the show needs more Dalia) but it was almost worth the extra old people storylines just to hear George’s rock version of Bump N' Grind.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: Well that was an interesting plot twist with Philip all but asking Elizabeth for a divorse. Although I do not agree with him that the KGB would agree with him that it would be okay because they are not really married in their eyes to begin with so there is no need to get a divorce. But as they slowly become more American (Philip even faster), I have to wonder at what point, if ever, do they switch side like suggested in the premiere.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/17/13

Once Upon a Time: It was pretty silly that they tried to make us wonder who in the cast was going to die when it was quite obvious that Cora would be the one that perished. And that was before the flashbacks featured her (anyone who watched Lost knows if someone was going to die, it would be whosever flashbacks were that week).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: Emily claimed after Amanda’s funeral there would be no more distractions, the promo monkeys even made a marketing campaign around the saying, but it is hard to take the writers at their word when her foster brother shows up to her doppelganger’s funeral which I assume will be a pretty huge distraction next week. He better be gone soon some Emily can actually take down some more people this season. Come to think of it, I think the Grayson’s have taken down more people this season than Emily.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: It is too bad that the summit did not involve Hershel and Milton because their conversation was much more interesting. Adn I like how the two henchmen knew they were going to end up killing each other soon enough.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Vikings: There are plenty of ways to show just how evil a character is, but offering up your wife to someone to see if he is dumb enough to take you up on the offer is a new one. I kind of like it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

Dallas: I know some grumbled about disrespecting the memory of Larry Hagman by having fights breakout during the J.R. Ewing memorial and going the Who Murderer J.R. plotline, but the guy played J.R. Ewing, it would seems more disrespectful to not send him out with a bang. And I doubt Patrick Duffy and Linda Grey would have been a part of anything that would have disrespected Hagman’s legacy.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: The big question going into the finale is that Robert have Julian’s girlfriend killed because he thinks she killed his daughter or did he kill his daughter and she made a good scapegoat who now cannot defend herself in court, essentially closing the case. But Robert never struck me as someone who would kill his own family considering the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail and to hide her pregnancy. I have pretty much thought from the beginning and still believe his wife was the one who killed Vivian because she threatened to tell Mia who her real mother was. Hopefully we get a definitive answer and not some lame fake out like The Killing because unlike The Killing, there will probably not be a second season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, what? Spencer joined the A Team?!? Sure I have a feeling she just joining to be a mole to bring down the A Team from the inside, but still shocking nonetheless. But I still do not believe Toby is dead until I see something more than a fading tattoo. And why is it the only time the Liars are candy stripers is when they sneak into the morgue.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: I pretty much figured Thayer last week was behind the murders last week when he had to be the guy who burglarized Rebecca’s place, I just have not figured out why. Does the dude just have serious rage issues; killing Derek and then killing Teresa because she somehow found out? Then had the hubris to think he could pin it in Alec (who in turn thought he could pin it on Rebecca who herself thought could pin it on Alex; what a marriage). I also cannot figure out why Rebecca would throw Alex through the skylight. Unless she did not and Alec actually went so far as to throw himself through the skylight to make sure Rebecca gets pinned for all three murders. This is getting confusing.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: A bit of an anti-climatic episode after learning that Sherriff Shelby is Drew Thompson though it was nice to see Limehouse again. But I am intrigued about the next episode with the final line, “We just have to get out of Harlan alive.” Maybe they can sneak out in Wynn Duffy’s Wynnabego.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Note to CBS: Stop it with the Hantz family. This is the second time a tribe threw a challenge just to get rid of a person with the last name. The Favorites did not even go through the motions of throwing; they just showed up to the Immunity Challenge and said just take us to Tribal Council, something that has never happened before. I actually feared for the safety of the tribe, you could have told me Brandon raped Andrea, pushed Philip into the fire, or harmed himself in some way and I would have believed you. Seriousyl CBS, no more Hantz’s
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Neighbors: Usually television shows wait until they run out of ideas to do a musical number so I am a little worried about the quality of the rest of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Neighbors on iTunes.

The Americans: The length spies will go through to get their way. You had Philip’s former flame telling him he had a son just to manipulate him, Beeman’s asset sleeping with him, telling him there were no strings when there were strings all over the place. Who would have guessed Elizabeth’s crotch grab would be the tamest way of getting things done this week? And I have a sinking suspicion that, much like on Justified, Mags Bennett will only last one season.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Speaking of running out of ideas, I really hate when comedies try to force heavy subjects into their plots which always seems to happen. Although I would not mind a Very Special Episode like the ones in the eighties. There really are not any Very Special Episodes anymore.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: C’mon, if you are going to reference Memento, just go ahead and do a full Memento parody. Hopefully it was a hint of what is to come and Chang Kevin will be covered in tatoos next episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/10/13

The Walking Dead: One thing I really hated about Lost is that they would set up something, forget about it, and they finally pay it off long after everyone stopped caring. That was the case this episode when Rick finally ran into the dude who saved him in the series premiere. This meeting should have happened late in the first season or early in the third. But it was still one of the better episodes in the show as Rick finally met someone crazier than he is, but you got to love all the booby traps that crazy dude set up for the walkers and the barely living.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: I was wondering when Karen would pop up again. I figured after Lip gave her a call it would not be long. Though I cannot image she will stick around that long after learning how much it will take to care for her son and just let the grandparents fight over him.

Vikings: It dawned on me about half way through the episode it may not have been the best idea to do a basic cable version of Game of Thrones set in the real world. But the “This season on” package did leave me intrigued so I probably give the show another episode or two to win me over.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

House of Lies: I never thought anyone could ruin a Kristen Bell Sex Tape, but they somehow managed to do that. Thanks House of Lies.

Switched at Birth: It is brave to try an all ASL episode, but I think it could have been better conceived. I thought maybe they would have a national day of silence in protest of the closing of Carlton. Or maybe follow a day in the life of Daphne or even Emmitt for a day. The way they did it seemed a little to force to avoid any spoken dialogue.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Dallas: It does not really mattered what happened in the first fifty-nine minutes, something about a silly car race, and the third Ewing brother made his first appearance in Dallas in about three decades, all that matters is the two gunshots that ended the episode. Any other show, it may have been in bad taste to murder off the character of an actor who died in real like, but in the case of Larry Hagman, it seems like a fitting tribute to send off J.R. Ewing with a murder mystery considering Who Shot J.R. was one of the biggest storylines ever in the history of television. I am sure next episode we will get a fitting tribute, but after that we will start for the hunt for J.R.’s killer. Since he was (supposedly) half the world away when he was shot, that rules out everyone in the main cast unless there was a time jump we are unaware of. Your probably have to put Cliff Barnes at the top of the list (but would he be so brazen, as the promo monkeys would have suggest, show up and taunt the death of his rival at his own funeral after killing him). Could Sue Ellen’s sister, who originally shot J.R., come back to finish the job? Um no, it turns out she overdosed and drowned in a pool during the original run. But maybe her son, Christopher finished what his biological mother started. Maybe Gary showing up in Dallas was not a coincidence. Or to tie it back into the modern day version, maybe one of Vincente’s buddies are set to avenge his death.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Well that was a completely random and completely shoehorned in celebrity cameo. At least tease that it would be possible that Missy Franklin could be A, put her in a red coat or something. But even worse, are they actually going to let Ezra teach again… in high school? What, what?!? Apparently even the principal knows something went on, how could he let this happen? Why will Ella work with a dude who sleeping with her high school daughter? These are the worst administrators and parents ever.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: So the dude in the black hoodie had to be Thayer right? Everything points to either Rebecca or Alec being the one who killed the one dude and kidnapped (and looks also killed) Teresa, but could Thayer be behind it the whole time? But then the question is why.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Where most law enforcement shows are about who did it, Justified has almost always been a show where we knew who the criminal was early on with the show being much more about the chase. So it is not surprising that the show would unveil its first real long mystery with three episodes to go, maybe it is surprising they did not reveal who Drew Thompson was earlier. Although some could argue that they revealed that Sherriff Shelby was Drew last week when his conversation with Ellen May made it so obvious that I assumed it was going to be a red herring. So now Raylan, and Boyd and Theo Tonin, have three episodes to hunt down Drew. Oh, and Boyd has extra incentive to find him too because it looks like he took Ellen May with him.

It was surprising how funny this episode was considering it came in the wake of Arlo death. The shootout between Constable Bob and the white collar criminals was hilarious, Art’s tirade the kicked off the episode, Raylan still had his trademark wit, and of course all of Wynn Duffy’s reactions were priceless (I bet he did not think a federal agent would be making a house call with a federal prisoner). I was also surprised that the preacher’s sister finally reappeared and it did not involve her teaming up with Ellen May, instead she teamed up with Tim. Is Gutterson finally going to get some love on the show?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: What a crime against humanity that the Fans voted out the three hot chicks right in a row. And it was completely short sided to get rid of Laura now, she definitely had the better argument in that you cannot trust Fratboy #1 or Fratboy#2 if they switch things up and keeping them will no way guarantee winning any challenges (and it was hypocritical of the Fratboys for saying they needed to keep a stronger team yet voted for Shamar, probably the strongest person on their team, twice in a row). And more importantly, how do you vote off the three hottest chicks in your tribe in your first three Tribal Councils? I am beginning to worry about the longevity of Andrea now.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan on iTunes.

The Neighbors: I feel bad for Jackie if the only song she has found on the planet Earth has been Semi-Charmed Life.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Neighbors on iTunes.

The Americans: Holy frack, Felicity just beat the crap out of Mags Bennett!!! Did not see that coming. I did see that they were being interrogated by the KGB, that was pretty obvious, it is way too early to for the United States government to be on to them (I will be surprised if that happens sometimes before the season finale).
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: A couple weeks Jeff Probst did a podcast with Chuck Closterman when Chuck asked Probst if Survivor rewarded mediocrity. His reasoning was simple: all the weak players get eliminated first, and then all the strong people get voted off after the merge, leaving the mediocre to win most seasons. I could not help think of that conversation while Celeste got crowned King of the Nerds. Going into the finals I thought Genevieve would sweep the vote, she was her team’s leader and won three Nerd Off’s while Celeste did not have one signature moment on the show, but mediocrity was awarded (two people weirdly mentioned Celeste’s “growth” as the reason for voting for her). Yawn.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Wow, eyeless girl was creepier than anything on The Walking Dead this week. Although will Mr. Gold be willing to get rid of his grandson just because he will be his downfall? Stupid question, this is a guy who let his son slip through a portal alone just to keep his powers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It was pretty obvious that the person at the bottom of the boat would turn out to be the evil dock guy, but I never would have guessed that he would take Amanda down with him. After she had Jack’s baby, I assumed she would be here for the long haul of the show. Hopefully this inspires Emily to get back to taking people down again and stop with all this slow and boring cooperate espionage that has gone on this season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I thought crazy Rick stopped after he realized he was getting phone calls from beyond the grave. Ugg. And all the zombies that came out of that delivery truck might as well all had wigs on because that was essentially a clown car.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Of course child services shows up at the most chaotic time ever on the show. It will be hard for to get the Gallagher’s to get out of this one, but I have a feeling the inept worker will help them out inadvertently or not. And can you really get pregnant with a turkey baster? I always that that was an urban legend.

House of Lies: Uh, oh, Veronica Mars went on a blind date with the Hearst rapist this week. Hopefully she will be back next week with all her hair.

How I Met Your Mother: I am too lazy to even bother to think about it, but I am pretty sure the show has done the three stories from three perspectives before, probably multiple times, and it it gets less interesting every time. With that said, I kind of want to watch this episode again just to see of Barney’s Austrian king actually shows up in the background somewhere.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I had the new girl pegged to be a mole, she was acting a little too weird, but I would not have guessed that she would turn out to be the opponent’s daughter. But will Toby be able to use that to his father’s advantage?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Bunheads: I did not think the show could top the weirdness Istanbul dance from last summer, but I think they may have done so with the dancing miners.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.
2 Broke Girls:

Castle: I was going to take this time to make numerous Taken jokes, but the promo monkeys already beat me to it with the previews showing an upcoming Liam Neeson joke. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Do people in the suburbs really have shower / spas like that in their homes? I defiantly need one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Go On: I am really ready for Simone to go back to wherever she came from.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: The video that Jody made for Raylan (with the aid of Paul Kinsey!) was so entertaining I will completely ignore that he really never had the time to make said video (or how implausible that basically every episode this season so far took part in less than a week). Also the show could use more Jackie Nevada. I take her over Ava, Wynona, or the barmaid from earlier this season. If you cannot get enough of Nevada, I highly recommend Raylan the book (see my review here), this episode is basically the end of the book, except there was no doubt if Raylan got any. Then again, in my experience, whenever a girl leaves the bathroom door open when she takes a shower, it is a sign she wants you to join her. Okay, that has never actually happened to me.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I really like the trend of people outing other people at tribal council who have a Hidden Immunity Idol. I do not like the trend of people claiming that they are going to use said Idol but keep it in their pocket. I also do not like how the “Player of the Week” commercial is almost always spoilery. When both Laura and Douchebag #1 (not to be confused with Douchebag #2 whose name I also have no desire to learn) were up for the award, you knew they were going to do something but they did nothing interesting before then. I am usually good at skipping the ad, but the show really needs to move it to the last commercial break to avoid such spoilers.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites on iTunes.

Modern Family: Holy Bud Bundy sighting! T is a shame that it took Al this long to get his son some work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Americans: It is weird watching this episode with all the paranoia that the Russians were behind the shooting of Ronald Regan when we now know that some crazy dude did it just to impress Jody Foster (I hear she’s currently single). I guess the closes thing similar that I can think of was when the power went out here and most of the northeastern part of the United States right after 9/11 and everyone thought it was another terrorist attack, but just turned out that our power grid just sucks. And a decade later, they still have not fixed it.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: I am now convinced the new showrunners are just fracking with us between the Stockholm Syndrome attempt and Luke Perry and Jennie Garth ruining Inspector Spacetime. This is going to be a long final season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It is weird that for a show entitled King of the Nerds, that there is only one guy that remains even though the game started out with more guys than girls. I guess it may not be all that surprising that a bunch of male nerds would get flustered with chicks around, losing ever head to head gender battle in the Nerd Off. Now will the chicks band together to make sure Ivan (like when Parvati won Survivor) or with the self implode and let the guy win (like that season with Eliza)? Actually come to think of it, has there ever been an all male final on Survivor? (Researching… It has happened three times out of twenty-five seasons; five were all female)