It’s True What You Heard, I am a Freak, I’m Disturbed

Two years ago Christina Aguilera released Bionic and it sank like a rock. It features songs where it sounded like Christina was trying to out-Gaga Lady GaGa at a time when most people were already tiring of Lady Gaga. It mirrored her debut album where she was riding the teen pop coattails of Britney Spears. But the thing is, Christina Aguilera, unlike the two other pop star (and many that populate the charts for the past decade) can sing. She is even the lynchpin coach on a show called The Voice. A half a year after Bionic dropped off the charts, Adele released 21 showing that people who can sing without all the trappings of a modern day pop singer. I thought to myself, Christina Aguilera should not be competing with the Britney Spears and Lady Gaga’s of the world; she should be competing with Adele.

So how does Christina Aguilera start her first album, Lotus, in the post-Adele era? With a heavy dose of auto-tune. Not only that, the first single was co-written and produced by Max Martin, the pop maestro who have us Baby One More Time. And like most songs from the Max Martin catalogue, Your Body is ultra catchy, but you think less of yourself when you catchy yourself singing along. I guess after three seasons of The Voice I should have seen this coming as everyone on her team have been bland pop singer with the exception of Jesse Campbell and Lindsey Pavao (neither of who inexplicably made the finales of her team) leading her to two straight last place finishes and with the new rule change this season will probably have her entire team voted off before the finals.

Christina did recruit two of her fellow coaches from The Voice to her new album (apparently Moves Like Jagger was enough studio time with Adam Levine). Cee Lo Green shows up on Make the World Move where Cee-Lo plays a glorified hype-man for the club ready track. Just a Fool is the closest thing Christina has ever come to country so it is not surprising she trades verses with the resident country voice on her show Blake Shelton, but I was left after the song was over wishing that Christina would had kept the song for herself as it could have been her one of her strongest ballads.

Even though she goes the ultra-pop route for most of the album, there is a quick Adele-type interlude for two songs in the middle of album starting with Sing for Me where Aguilera shows she is still the best voice of her generation. That is followed by Blank Page, which goes the stripped down Someone Like You route where it is just Christina and a piano (and some subtle strings flourishes). I would much rather have had a whole album like this especially where a song latter she starts a weird reggae segment includes pair of songs, Cease Fire and Circles.

But Lotus, for better or worse, is a pure pop album. Of course the album is littered with self empowering anthems, about half the tracks. While Red Hot Kind of Love harkens back to her Genie in the Bottle days. Army of Me and Make the World Move are good old school dance songs that thankfully do not utilize any of that annoying dub-stop or EDM trends that every pop song has to have these days (unfortunately Let There Be Love does jump on the annoying trend). It is clear from her choices on The Voice, Christina Aguilera still loves pop music, I just wished she would put out a record that rivals Adele.

Song to Download – Blank Page

Lotus gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Could Take the Pitchfork from the Devil

If there has been one word of wisdom I have given in my life is that you never, under any circumstance, trust a big butt and a smile. If there was a second piece of advice that I take to heart it would be that The Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nunthin’ to (expletive deleted) with. It has been five years since we last got a Wu-Tang album and it does not look like we will get another one for a while so The Man With the Iron Fists may be the closest thing we get anytime soon. The soundtrack to the RZA written, directed, and starring film features nine tracks with a Wu member on it but only two credited to the Wu-Tang Clan as a whole.

RZA, who is never confused as the best lyricist in the group does show up on the best track on the soundtrack when he teams up with The Black Keys (this may be the closest thing we will get to Blakroc 2 any time soon too) where he tryes to out boast Dan Aurbach throughout the song. Dan may grab a crocodile by the tail, but RZA will take a gasoline bath then walk through fire. And just image how much better Once Upon a Time, Season 2 - Once Upon a Time would be if it featured RZA date-rape Beauty right in front of the Beast. (I should note that I in no way condone any form of date rape and any rapist should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, but if there were an exception, it would involve a member of the Wu-Tang Clan and a fictional character).

On the flipside, Ghostface Killah does show why he is one of the Clan’s best rappers when he teams up with M.O.P. and Pharoahe Monch on Black Out, a song so old school great, it will make you accost a teenager with a Meek Mills shirt about tales of real hip-hop back in the day. Of the two tracks here credited to the whole Clan, Rivers of Blood with Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, and U-God with an appearance by Kool G Rap is the better one with its great horn and kung-fu samples (which of course fits in well with the movie). And Built for This with Method Man, Freddie Biggs, and Streetlife is pure menacing.

Where most of the Clan member bring their A-games to their respective tracks (or as close to an A game as U-God can get), the Kanye West track White Dress sounds like a My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy leftover that was not even good enough to put out during G.O.O.D. Fridays. It does not help that the song could be about a Kardasian. Kanye’s buddy Pusha T has a much better show micing it up with Raekwon, Joell Ortiz, and the always weird Danny Brown on Tick Tock which thankfully does not mention Ke$ha at all. If the trailer for The Man with the Iron Fists did not get you pumped enough for the movie, the soundtrack certainly will.

Song to Download – The Baddest Man Alive

The Man with the Iron Fists gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Hope Whoever Broke Your Heart Actually Got to Hear That

The last season of Switched at Birth ended with everybody learn that Emmitt and Simone had some extracurricular activities after a basketball game. It was made more awkward that each of them were dating a brother and sister combo. Naturally that blew up the current season, Toby moved on while Simone turned to alcohol. While Emmitt tried to get Bay back even though she did everything to reject him short of blaring Taylor Swift songs at him.

Granted there may still be hope for Emmitt because Bay did not run into the arms of another guy (aside from a brief tryst on a vacation), instead she ran into the arms of Ben Linus’s daughter of all people. It was the latest in a string of Bay acting act by joining a street art collective, which, like every of Bay’s adventures, ended badly. But at least it ended badly in a hilarious way especially dudes in Michael Myers masks. Although when the saga was all over, it looked like Bay mat not be playing We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together much longer.

At one point Daphne was ready to fight Bay for Emmitt but ended up with Wilke, but with him off in military school (how dare you Corbin Bernsen) she moved on to her douchebag of her boss. And just when you think it could not get any creepier, it turns out he previously dated Emmitt’s mother. Ewww. And then the season finale started out with Daphne getting birth control. Double ewww. It did lead to an Oh snap moment where mother and daughter went after each other in the bathroom where Daphne did the old tried and true I “leaned it from watching from you” defense, but instead of drugs, it was dating inappropriate men. Awesome. But not as awesome as Angelo punching Chef Jeff which may have been the weakest fake punch in the history of television.

Then the big shocker came at then end, both parents won their court case, but the Kennishs only got a dollar while Angelo got five million dollar. Wow, someone please switch my kid. Which made me wonder of Regina and Angelo would be staying at the Kennishs next season. If so, the rent will be going way up. Oh wait there was one more twist; a very pregnant woman gave looking for Angelo right after the verdict. Now I am not saying this woman is a golddigger, but…

Switched at Birth vol. 3 gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes..

Tonight My Heart's on the Loose

It seems a bit weird reviewing the new Green Day album ¡UNO! because it is technically is the first of a trilogy of albums (¡DOS! is due November 13 while ¡TRE! is set to be released January 15). But if people can review individual movies in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy I guess it is possible. As the story goes ¡UNO! is the pre-party, ¡DOS! is the actual party, and ¡Tre! is the morning after. But do not expect some grand political rock opera of the previous two albums, the new albums are almost politics free.

¡UNO! also ditches the band’s recent foray into grand rock opuses that sound more like U2 stadium ready anthems than something by The Ramones. The longest song on the album is Oh Love at 5:03 and there are only two other songs that clock over four minutes. For those longing for the punk-pop that Green Day popularized back in the nineties (and inspired too many to count crappy rip-offs) you will want to check out ¡UNO!.

Despite being the first single, Oh Love is the outlier of the album. The song is stuck at the end and much slower and more glam rock than the rest of the album (I suspect will end up being a bridge to ¡DOS!, which is why maybe the album should not have been reviewed until all three were released). The rest of the album is much more like the frantic Let Yourself Go which you could insert into a live bootleg from the band back in 1994 and the listener may not even notice. Now we have to wait seven weeks to give a listen to ¡DOS!.

Song to Download – Let Yourself Go

¡UNO! gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

So Give Me Hope in the Darkness so that I Can See the Light

Mumford & Sons came out of the gate like a battering ram destroying all crappy music in its path with the angriest and most impassioned folk music you have ever heard. Little Lion Man may be the first acoustic song that ever inspired a mosh pit. They managed to take the Tenacious D’s joke of acoustic heavy metal and made it a laugh free reality. The Cave was so impassionate it almost had me turning into a teenage groupie ready to throw myself on the band despite not being a gay homosexual (and even if I were I would not go for the unshaven, straight from the set of Newsies look, which is how great the song is). Then you have songs like White Blank Page that just burned with quiet, building rage.

But that was then. As the saying goes, you get your whole life to write your first album, then you only get six months to write the next which is why many bands (and creative arts in general) fall into a sophomore slump. And expectations were tempered even more considering the first album was build around a lot of anger, but in-between albums Marcus Mumford married Carrie Mulligan (you know, the chick from Never Let Me Go not named Keira Knightley).

All doubt that Mumford and Sons could come up with a competent follow-up were quelled right off the bat with the title track that starts off Babel, where the band turns the passion up to twelve (two more than ten). You have already undoubtedly pulled out you air-banjo for the first single I Will Wait where the group shows that can still bring the power even with a positive and loving message and will having you playing the air banjo by the end of the song. The band leaves everything out on the floor for these songs you have to wonder how none of them have yet to have a heart attack yet.

Babel does slow down a little near the middle with a couple mellower songs (or as mellow as Mumford and Sons songs can get). Ghosts That We Knew is a sweet ode to the dearly departed. That is followed up by Lover of the Light an uplifting love song. That continues with Lovers’ Eyes which borders on an Irish folk song (dare I say shanty) but stays true to the band’s core while it builds to a satisfying end. Reminder is the quietest and most simple song the band has ever written. But Mumford and Sons did not go soft because Broken Crown may be angrier and loader than anything on their debut album.

A couple weeks ago I mentioned how Dave Matthews Band songs get better after they have been road tested, after their Saturday Night Live performance, which may be the same for Mumford and Sons. But unlike the new DMB album, Babel is great enough already with the studio version, I cannot wait to hear how much better they get live. But I will wait for Mumford and Sons.

Song to Download – Babel

Babel gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You Can't Escape the Rising of the Tide

I have a love / hate relationship with The Killers. I loved the synth-dance-rock of their debut Hot Fuss. I hated their overblown arena rock follow up Sam’s Town. By the time their third album came out, I learned how to stop worrying and learned to accept the pomposity of Brandon Flowers continuing attempt to be the new generation Bruce Springsteen (circa Born to Run) and his continuance of falling short of such goals.

From the opening blips of the opening track Flesh and Bones it sounded like they may be going back to their older sound, but alas, even though there seems to be more synthesizers on Battle Born, the band’s fourth album, it seems like they are quickly covered up and drowned out by a wall of guitar sounds. The band does lay off their Springsteen ambitions aside from the lead single Runaways which sound like their last chance power drive, but still comes up short compared with their other Springsteenian attempts like When We Were Young.

Unfortunately Runaways is the best the album has to offer. Really the only reason to listen to the rest of Battle Born is to hear just how pompous Brandon Flowers can get like when he “swears on the head of our unborn child” or, “I drove through the desert last night, I carried the weight of our last fight.” C’mon Brandon, it cannot be that hard carrying weight while you are driving. Unless, of course, you were driving a smart car. And I could not help but laugh at the way he delivers the line, “Don’t want your picture on my cell phone” on Here with Me. So I think I am back off The Killer bandwagon. But I will surely be back on in two years.

Song to Download - Runaways

Battle Born gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Can You Tell That I Am Alive, Let Me Prove it to You

Mumford & Sons gets a lot of the credit for bringing folk-rock back to the mainstream over the last couple years, but it was really The Avett Brothers who laid the groundwork for groups like The Civil Wars and The Lumineers. They were acoustic punks who brought as much energy as those during the alternative rock crazy of the early nineties but were able to it with a banjo, a cello, and an upright bass. Three years ago Rick Rubin was able to harness that energy and produced the best album of the band’s career with I and Love and You.

The Avett Brother reunited with Rubin with the follow-up The Carpenter and the results are the same. Songs range from the sweet (Live and Die), to heartfelt (Winter in My Heart), to a waltz (Down with the Shine), to frantic (Paul Newman vs. the Demons), to a hoedown (Geraldine). None of the songs reach the heights of the best songs on their previous album, but The Carpenter is still pretty solid as a whole.

They even have a rare electric guitar featured song Pretty Girl from Michigan, though it is not rare of them to sing about pretty girls because they have already dedicated a song to girls from Matthews, Raleigh, Locust, Annapolis, Cedar Lane, Feltre, Chili (my personal favorite), and San Diego. But the biggest chance the brothers Avett take is with A Fathers First Spring which flows like none of their songs have flown before. The song teeters on going into soft rock territory, but they manage to keep it closer to their sensibilities making it a stand out on the album.

Song to Download – A Fathers First Spring

The Carpenter gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Don’t Waste Time Trying to Be Something You’re Not

After ten years of putting out a bunch of good, but not great albums, Dave Matthews Band ended the ’00 with their best album in a decade with Big Whiskey and the Groo-Grux King, an album so good, one critic said the album was a Dave Matthews Band album for people who do not like The Dave Matthews Band. After the great previous album, news only got better that Steve Lillywhite, who produced the band’s first three (and the aborted fourth that eventually turned into Busted Stuff without him) is back as producer for the first time in over a decade.

So expectations were high for the release of their eight studio album Away from the World. The only problem is the album turned out to be a bit of a bore. Sure the first single Mercy was a bit sleepy, but the band usually does not release the best song first (or usually at all). But it turned out the whole albums sounded as if the whole band was slipped an Ambient before recording started.

It does not help that one of the songs, Belly Belly Nice, sounds as if it were written by a Dave Matthews Band tribute band trying encapsulate the band’s essence and even throws in a nursery rhyme (Jack and Jill this time around) for good measure which is almost cringeworthy. The songs as a whole are the most unremarkable the band has ever written and is only kept out of the bottom of the band’s catalogue by the time they tried to cram their music into four minute pop songs.

Even though within five years I expect most of the songs from Away From the World will appear on as many setlists as the songs from Everyday, there are a few songs I cannot wait to hear live even if the studio version are uninspiring. Sweet (which does appear in live form, from here in Cleveland, on the Deluxe Edition of the album which finds Matthews at his falsetto best), with its ukulele intro that expands a couple minutes later into the full band, is the most simple song from the band since the haunting piano based Out of My Head. But Sweet has the exact opposite reaction for the listener and lives up to its title.

But it is Drunken Soldier that will be a highlight of many concerts to come and will probably end up being an encore staple. In true Dave Matthews Band fashion, the song is split into four sections, there is the ho-down beginning, which transitions into a more traditional beginning which I can see being stretched into five to ten minutes live which includes a beautiful solo from violist Boyd Tinsley, before transitioning into the most earnest lyrics by Dave on the whole album. The song ends with a segment that sounds like it is floating away on a lazy river in the moonlight. If I do not hear a twenty minute plus version of this song the next time I hear the boys live, I will be severely disappointed.

Song to Download - Drunken Soldier

Away from the World gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Things Just Went from Worse to Worser

I came to the realization during this batch of Pretty Little Liars episodes that the show definitely has deep ebbs and flows. The show started on a high with the guiltiest guilty pleasure of four girls being tormented by a mad texter that may or may not have been tied to their friend who was brutally murdered. But after a season, things started to drag on until the second half of season two when they finally were building up to the big reveal of who “A” was. But when the show came back for the current third season it seemed to drag along once again even when they tried to force some manufactured drama with the “BetrAyal”.

Of course these episodes drug on for the same reason most episodes of the show drag on: the writers continue to think that Erza and Aria have some grand love affair, not a creepy, statutory relationship they do. And even though Ezra has been blacklisted from getting any job in the greater Rosewood area because his extra-curricular activities with a student, he has not only stuck around, but the writers doubled down on the creepiness by making him a father. But for some reason, despite the crazy family that has enough money to make you disappear overnight and a baby mama (hello Alex Mack), Aria for some reason has stayed by her man even though it cannot be that hard for her to find someone better than Ezra. At this point even Hermy the Hermaphrodite would be an upgrade.

As for the BetrAyal that the promo monkeys had been pushing for the past month, all signs leading up to this episode pointed to Paige which meant there was no way she would be the betrAyer. By the end of the finale it looked like Nate, or whatever his name is, was going to BetrAy Emily. So dude killed Maya, was annoyed that she love Emily so he returned to Rosewood to get back at Emily by poising as Maya’s cousin, tried to hook up with Jenna even though she may or may not have seen him with Maya, then tried to make out with Emily, and then when all else failed decided to just kill Paige instead while Emily watched. Wait, what? And did he also dig up Allison? I think I missed something. It does not help that I did not care about Nate from the beginning and his evil turn was so bad it looked like he watched Leighton Meester in The Roommate for inspiration (should have gone old school and went with Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female instead).

Speaking of painfully bad acting, just when you thought Nate was going to the BetrAyer, it turns out Toby also has a stash of black hoodies. Except I could not stop laughing at his turn at the camera at the end followed by some sort of weird mad dash around corner. And I thought nothing was going to be more awkward than the least sexy sex scene ever put to film. What is worse is that he makes no sense as a member of The A Team which I always assumed included Jenna (along with Hermy). So I guess if Toby is in and Jenna is out.. But even though the summer finale went out with a resounding whimper (alright the staging in the lighthouse looked cool), I have to say the Halloween special looks pretty coo. And keep in mind the last Halloween special is when the show found its footing again, so hopefully this year’s episode will put it on an ebb upwards again.

Pretty Little Liars 3.x (Summer) gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

You Always End a Conversation One Sentence too Late

Note to self: when writing an uber-peppy script, it may not be the best idea, no matter how shocking it is, to kill off what the audience may believe to be an important character at the end of the Pilot. After one of the most promising premieres in recent memory, Bunheads had to go the downer route by killing of the main character’s husband just minutes after getting married thus tearing down what they spent the first fifty-eight minutes building up.

Not surprisingly, Hubble’s death hung like a black cloud over the first season of the show. And every time it started to pick some momentum back up, out of nowhere they had to remind you that Michelle’s husband, who she did not even really love, had died tragically. She meets a new dude, who she hits it off with, she starts balling over her dead husband after coitus. And of course he had to return for the finale in a dream sequence to up the creepy factor.

It also does not help for a shown named Bunheads, I am not entirely sure what any of the names of the dancers are besides Boo (really, how do you forget a name like that). I think the mean girl is named Sasha, but I would not bet my life on it. I just watched the finale and I still could not name the other two off the top of my head which is a shame because the tall one has the best comic timing of the bunch but she was given the least to do in the first set of episodes. Am I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing that it turned out that Mindy Riggins turned out to be the best part of the show.

But the one aspect the show had going for itself was its rapid fire delivery that, even if a pop culture reference or two went over your head, there would still be plenty of good one your recognize per episode even if there was no way a bunch of teen girls would talk about let alone even know about. I like The Ringer was too busy dancing to catch any of these references. And the season did end on a high point with one of the funniest scenes I have seen on television all year when Michelle sprayed all the dancers in the face with mace. That alone should keep me laughing until the show returns, and when it does, hopefully they can help us forget about Michelle’s dead husband.

Bunheads 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

It’s The World We Live In, Not The World We Want

It was hard not to get excited for the first season of Falling Skies: Steven Spielberg producing an alien invasion show on cable, TNT at that because they apparently know drama. But those first ten episodes just fell flat. The skitters were scary in an creepy incest kind of way, but it was hard to care about the characters, and the plot, much like the characters, did not seem to go anywhere.

But early in the second season, the show, much like the 2nd Mass, found its direction. And their compass pointed south to Charleston, South Carolina. It was a long march which saw a few new obstacles like the new mini bugs that ate the dude from The Killing inside out. There an even smaller bug(? Maybe machine?) that crawled out of Tom’s eye which turned out to be a tool of the new skidder rebellion. But is that just a skidder contraption or do the Overlords have their own and planted in Hal? But none was creepier than our first look inside a harness factory where we learned the harnesses are an actual life form before being attached to the children.

Then when they finally arrived in Charleston, the 2nd Mass landed right in the middle of a political fight between a pseudo-dictator and military coup. Sure this was the weakest storyline of the season (who would actually elect John Locke to a position of power). But the vacation in South Carolina seems to be short lived as Tom intends to leave the new civilization as soon as his son gets better. Although I am surprised Tom is so quick to leave the closest thing to civilization to fight some more when he is about to become a father again. Well that was the plan until the skies started falling again.

Thanks to the promo monkeys, you knew it was coming; the only question was what exactly was in the jellyfish looking things. Thankfully this is not John Locke’s old show and we actually got to see what were driving these spaceships. It turned out to be something in a suit that looked like suits of Master Chief joined with the Blue Beetle with something reptilian looking inside. If these new creatures mate with a human and there is a lizard baby birth I am out.

The show left us with the question “Friend or Foe?” Before they scrolled down to reveal a biped, I originally thought a non-harnessed skidder was going to step out the spaceship. Of course it is possible that the harnessed skidders ended up growing the extra limbs. But I am going to answer the promo monkey’s question, with a question of my own, “Why does it have to be either or?” I have a feeling they are an enemy of the Overloards (the weapon that the 2nd Mass was build to keep these new aliens from landing) who will end up being enemies of humans. At any rate, hopefully season three continues the momentum built this season. And hopefully by the time the next episodes air, they can get me to start caring about some of the characters.

Falling Skies 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Bullets Don't Seem to Have Much of an Effect on Me Darlin'

When the Dallas reboot was announced, much like every other reboot, I found it unnecessary. Sure the original invented, or at the very least perfected the nighttime soap back in the eighties. It also created the best whodunit ever in the history of television (or so I am told, the original was a bit before my time). But it would come back a relic and would have to compete with more cerebral modern day soaps like Revenge.

It did not help when Dallas came back it returned focusing again on the very eighties plot of the hunt for oil and tried to bring it into the present with buzz words like fracking and alternative fuels. And where Revenge focused on hunting down the people responsible for the death of someone, the big struggle at the heart of the new season of Dallas was once again land. It also did not help that the signature character from the original started of the season in an almost catatonic state in a nursing home.

But once J.R. Ewing rose from his chair, put on his ten-gallon hat, and sharpened his eyebrows, things got started with double crosses (and triple, and quadruple) coming at a furious pace. And things did not slow down as J.R. and J.R. Jr. tried to outmaneuver each other and Bobby to get control of Southfork and the oil underneath it. With J.R. losing his fastball and J.R. Jr. not picking up the slack, thankfully Assistant Director Skinner stepped in as a worthy antagonist tormenting ex-wife Ann and blackmailing Sue Ellen for political favors. And tonight he will be looking for other kinds of favors from a member of the fairer sex. And all that manipulating led us to the final.

We left Dallas last week with blood splattering on a pair of teddy bears. And Rebecca and her “brother” were not the only people left in the balance as Bobby crumbed to the floor. Okay, not much of a cliffhanger because they already killed Bobby once, it is not like they would kill him off again, and if they did, it may not even stick again. Rebecca, who became the most interesting character in the second half of the season, was the more curious case. Thankfully you will not have to wait very long at the start of the finale tonight to see how the shootout played out.

With all the double dealing and devious playing, the show does find a way to wrap up all of this season plots in a nice little bow (and a little too nice) with the exception of one, which may be a red herring to misdirect you from what happens to set up the second episode. But that is excused because Dallas saved it biggest reveal for last, a shocker so big, I will not even hit at it to avoid you from spoiling yourself. I will suggest that you have the Ewing family tree handy, especially if you are new to the series. But for those spoiler hounds that just have to know how the season ends, the last sight you see tonight is “To Be Continued”. (After the finale airs I am going to add a very spoilery addition talking about the big twist, so once you watch, return here to see my thoughts).

Spoiler Alert!!! Do not read if you have not seen the season finale.

Wow, I did not see Rebecca turning out being Cliff’s daughter. That reveal had me running to Wikipedia to check out the Ewing Family Tree because I thought that would make Rebecca and Christopher cousins. But from what I understand, they are only cousins by adoption, not blood. And according to Wikipedia, Cliff does have a daughter named Pamela Rebecca Cooper. Still kind of creepy for an uncle to use his daughter to seduce his nephew, blood related or not. What really through me off the scent of Rebecca being related to Cliff, even when she met with his rent boy, was I was convinced that Rebecca was Ann’s daughter (but this is a soap opera, so that is not completely out of the question, Brenda Strong who plays Ann, was on the original series as “Cliff’s One Night Stand”). So I wonder if that was just a red herring or it will play a big role next season. But anything that keeps Assistant Director Skinner involved, I am all for.

Dallas 1.x (or 15.x depending how you look at it) gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Come On and Get the Minimum Before You Open up Your Eyes

I never understood why musicians do not add more cover songs to their albums. Instead they usually have a couple of good songs and the rest fillers. Back in the day you would see major acts fill out their album with songs made famous by other singers, some of which were great songwriters in their own right. You would think all these televised karaoke contestants would think, everybody knows me for singing other people songs, why not I add some to my first album, if not an entire album of covers. I am assuming the reason why this is rarely done anymore is why anyone does anything these days: money. It is probably cheaper to commission someone to write a new song than record an established hit. And of course if you write it yourself, you get to keep all the royalties.

Joss Stone actually bucked that trend on her debut album The Soul Sessions when the then teenager updated some soul songs (and one surprise track) from the sixties and seventies for a new millennium produced by soul legend Betty Wright to much effect. Coming just after the teen pop boom, Stone’s sultry throwback was a welcome change from the overproduced and over-autotunes tracks from her peers.

Four albums of new material would come next to mixed results as she tried to reboot her career a couple times (her third album was called Introducing Joss Stone while her fifth was called LP1). Almost a decade after her debut Joss Stone is releasing The Soul Sessions, Vol. 2 where she has dug through her crate of soul songs from the sixties and seventies (and one surprise track) bringing them into a new century. This time around Joss is tacking classics from Chi-Lites, Womack & Womack, Sylvia, The Dells, and The Casinos.

In the middle of all the old soul albums on her first album sat a smoothed out version of the garage rock of Fell in Love with a Girl by The White Stripes which Joss made it almost unrecognizable changing the genders and almost as good as the original. This time around she tried converting Broken Bells’s The High Road into a soul standard. Unfortunately this time it does not work as well, the original is already smoothed out and the weirdness of the task is what makes The Broken Bells version great, but Joss strips the song of any weirdness.

Really Volume 2 lacks the magic that the first one did with many of the songs drowned out by unnecessary organ. Joss’s version of Labi Siffre’s I Got The… is novel but only because it is interesting when the track transitions into the same funk line that Eminem sampled in My Name Is… Joss is at her best when she keeps it simplistic with love songs like The Love We Had (Stays on My Mind) and Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye.

Song to Download – Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye

The Soul Sessions, Volume 2 gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Turn the Record Over, I'll See You on the Flip Side

A reoccurring conversation my generation have these days is how the music of today does not mean anything. Everything these days seem to be either scantily clad girls taking about how slutty they are, rapper talking about how rich they are, whiny bands complain about… who knows what. Excuse my grandpa moment, but back in my day, Pearl Jam meant something. Counting Crows talked to me. Public Enemy were important. It has been awhile since I have heard anyone who sounds important. Sure this could just be a generational thing much like our parents complains about how no one makes music like The Beatles anymore, plays like Eric Clapton, or sings like Marvin Gaye.

But then I heard The Gaslight Anthem with every song sounding more important than the last. Seriously, how can you not get excited about lyrics like, “Give me the fevers that just won’t break and give me the children you don’t want to raise. And tell be about the cool he sings to you in those songs if it’s better than my love.” “You ain’t supposed to die on a Saturday night.” When they sing about having her name tattooed inside his arm, you want to head down to your local parlor. He may sing “Cool is dead go baby go on asleep,” cool may have been dead, but The Gaslight Anthem may just resurrect it.

If all is right with the world, The Gaslight Anthem will finally have some breakout success with the release of the first major label release Handwritten. And let’s face it; the world is in some dire need of great rock and roll music. Right now there is The Black Keys and that is it. And for those ready to rock, Handwritten is full of enough Aye’s, Whoa’s, Sha-la-la’s, Eh-hey’s, and Oh-oh-oh’s to get your fist pumping.

As the title track suggests, these songs have traveled from heart to limb to pen. The opening track "45" is a hard driving rumination of the ending relationship comparing it to turning a record over to something new. And the album does not let up from their with guitar riffs coming fast and aggressive. They may be on a major label now and are in the studio with uber-producer Brendan O’Brien (Rage Against the Machine), but these Jersey boys are still wearing their Bruce Springsteen and The Replacements influences on their sleeve.

Even though it does not take away from songs on this album, The Gaslight Anthem should be wary of becoming a parody of the heart on their sleeve lyrics in the future like Coldplay became a self-parody on their third album. They did come close of this album with lines like, “I’d just die if you ever took your love away,” and, “What’s left for you to take if I put too much blood on the page?” Actually some of the best songs on Handwritten are on the rare songs from the band that make you put your fists down and raise your lighters up like on the final two songs Mae where they “wait for kingdom come with the radio on” and the beautifully simple National Anthem. If these two songs are a hint of where they may go next I cannot wait to hear it.

Song to Download – "45"

Handwritten gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Musings from the Back 9: AARP Edition

Whenever asked the eternal question: The Beatles or The Stones? My answer is always, “Snitch please; The Beach Boys are much better than those hacks.” They made the catchiest pop music of all time with their surf infused harmonies before going on to make more profound music. Then mastermind Brian Wilson retired from touring and later dropped out of the band, not to be seen or heard from until he finally dusted of the abandoned Smile album and even managed to tour behind it. And just in time for their fiftieth anniversary, Brian reunited with his cousin Mike Love for a reunion album and tour.

Did we really need a new Beach Boys album? Probably not, but the group recently released That's Why God Made the Radio and it pretty much sounds what you would expect a Beach Boys album would sound like five decades later. Where their early records celebrated the exuberance on teenage youth, surfing and chasing girls on the beach, the new collection of songs is a mellow look at retirement with your toes in the sand and maybe a grandkid or two running around. None of the new songs are as catchy as their early hit singles (or even as catchy as Kokomo) or as profound as anything on Pet Sounds but the harmonies are still tight, the songs will put a smile on your face, and will probably get massive rotation in retirement home. That is if grandpa can figure out how to download it from iTunes, get it on his iPod, and then get it to play on the docking player you bought him for Christmas.

That’s Why God Made the Radio gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


If we were playing the old Remote Control segment Dead or Alive and Bobby Womack came up I may have actually had guessed “dead.” Even after he showed up on the Gorillaz song a couple years ago I may have just assumed that it was vocals from a track I was unfamiliar with. But as it turns out Womack is very much alive and released his latest album in over a decade. Gorillaz’s mastermind Damon Albarn produced The Bravest Man in the Universe and brought his electro-beats that he used for his own band. Unfortunately sometime this distracts from Womack’s voice which has aged into a creepy haggered sound that does not need all the bells and whistles behind it Albarn adds. Even more distracting is the appearance from Lana Del Rey (presumably recorded in the month and a half between when she went from internet phenomenon to laugh stock) who’s voice does not mix with Womack’s at. The album is at its best when the studio magic is pulled back and it is just Womack and a solitary instrument like the acoustic guitar on Deep River. Love Is Gonna Lift You Up is the only overproduced on the album that did no made me wish I could hear an acoustic version of it. It is not hard to wonder how much better the album would have sounded if Rick Ruban had produced the comeback instead of Albarn.

The Bravest Man in the Universe gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


When you hear that Neil Young is singing kindergarten anthems like Clementine and This Land Is Your Land, you would probably think it is some lame sketch concocted by Jimmy Fallon. Nope, Americana is Neil Young singing these songs and other big among the Cub Scout set but adding some of the original darker verses routinely dropped out when sung by the youth. Much like the older Beach Boys album, Americana sound just like you would expect Neil Young singing campfire ditties with Crazy Horse (their first new album together in almost a decade) backing him up would sound. The sing-a-long choruses are there in-between fuzzed out guitar solos, some veering dangerously close to sounding like a Fallon parody. As weird as it sounds on paper, it probably does not even raking in Young’s top five weirdest albums. Do not fret Crazy Horse fans, after this album, Neil continued to work with them on new material they are writing.

Americana gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

My Life Been Good Since I Started Finding Peace

It seems like the last couple albums, Nas has made more headlines with his titles than the actual songs on the record. In 2006 the rapper declared Hip-Hop Is Dead while the follow up went Untitled after he announced he was going to title the album a word I am not allowed to use. His latest album Life Is Good may not sound as controversial as his previous two until you get a glimpse of the cover art where Nas has his ex-wife’s wedding dress (which Nas claims is the only think she left behind in their house when she left) draped across his lap.

Not surprisingly Life Is Good is heavily influenced by Nas’s marriage and subsequent divorce to Kelis. None more so than the song that closes out the album Bye Baby where he directly talks to his former flame and baby mama and recounts their history. Due to the subject matter, this is his most grown up album to date. For those keeping track at home, this is his tenth solo album, a rare milestone in hip-hop, especially as he remains relevant. Or close to it, some could argue he has not had a hit in almost a decade (which is probably why he has gone with controversial titles lately to stay relevant).

And Life Is Good probably will not change that trend either. When he gets around to releasing a Greatest Hits package, Nas will rival anyone in the history of rap, but it is hard to image anything from this album making his Greatest Hits unless he feels obligated to put one of these songs on it. Sadly one of the better songs, the old school Nasty is resigned to the Deluxe Album Bonus Tracks as it would not have sound out of place on God’s Son. For the album proper, the best song is the reggae tinged The Don produced by Salaam Remi who has also produces his great Made You look track.

The most noteworthy track on the album is Cherry Wine featuring Amy Winehouse (also produced by Remi who turned a Marvin Gaye song into her Tears Dry on Their Own) but it is weird hearing her posthumously sing about alcohol considering how she died. After that, the most talked about track is Daughters where Nas opens up his relationship with his and coming to terms with her growing up. Since I cannot relate I really cannot get into the song. But at least he did not sample or shout out John Mayer in the song.

Song to Download – The Don

Life Is Good gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.