I'm More Than a Man in a Silly Red Cape

So as somewhat a nerd, I do find myself required to watch Smallville, the WB-ification (i.e. hot, moody teenagers) of the greatest superhero ever written, even though I can’t say I actually own any comic books (aside from a few Beavis and Butthead one I picked up in my formative years). I did enjoy the Christopher Reeves movies as a kid although I passed on the Dean Cain version as it seemed more like a chick flick but on TV. And nothing bothered me more than the idea of a whipped Superman. Then four years ago came Smallville or Superman – The High School Years. An interesting concept considering Lex Luther was not Clark Kent archenemies yet, nor had Kent don the tights yet. The episode drew a lot on the Buffy monster of the week philosophy but with a kryptonite twist.

We left off the third season with Lex being poisoned, Lana leaving for Paris, Chloe being blown up, Pete has skipped town, Lionel was dieing from a bad liver and suddenly bald, and Clark disappeared with some naked hot chick. But of course no one really died and everything was back to normal by the third episode of the current season. Although Pete never came back and was replace instead was replace by Lana’s boyfriend that she met in Paris. And yes, I hated him for that.

The big news of the fourth season was that Lana was promoted from the Token Hot Chick of the show and actually had a decent storyline this year. Sadly this took her out of the running for the title of Hottest Token Hot Chick in the 1st annual Scooter Television Awards. So Lana apparently is the decent of a witch who decided to use Miss Lang to get back at the lineage that burned her at the stake. Luckily evil ancestor is successful and we get the greatest Smallville invention: evil Lana. For anyone who saw Eurotrip, you know how entertaining that can be. Evil Lana, like Clark, Lex, Lionel, Lana’s new boyfriend and his mom, is after three stone that apparently do something.

So with Lana dropping the title of token hot chick and no show is complete without one, so enter Lois Lane. A sassier version that the other LL’s, but then again she is a teenager so I guess it makes sense. She was also a slight twist on the token hot chick in that she could kick my butt, and that only made her hotter. Smallville also brought in some other characters from the Superman lexicon including the Flash and Krypto the dog.

Then by the end of the season, just like at the end of last season, everyone is in peril as another meteor shower has hit Smallville. And it looks like the stones everyone wanted transported Clark to what may become his Fortress of Solitude. Looking forward to next season, I assume it’s safe to assume that everything will be back to normal by the start of the third episode. But when it comes down to it, hopefully we will get to see more of bad Lana.

Smallville 4.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Fall 2005 TV Schedule

During my Star Wars love fest last week, the TV networks quietly announced next year's schedule, and to back up my pervious notion that the world is against me, almost all the shows I watched last year got canceled or moved to the same day and time. Before I let my faithful readers what I'll be watching next year, I like you to take a moment of silence to this season's dearly departed:

American Dreams
Joan of Arcadia
Listen Up
Tru Calling
Christopher Reeves
Ethan Rom
Boone
Genevieve Teague
Rex Van de Camp
Dennis Miller

You all will be missed, at least by me. So on to what I'll be watching next year.

Monday
8:00 - Arrested Development
8:30 - How I Met Your Mother

Arrested Development is the funniest sitcom on TV today, basically by default because the rest are absolutely horrible. I did like the uncomfortable type humor of The Office (see Tuesday), so I will give that another try. How I Met Your Mother stars Alyson Hannigan last seen on Veronica Mars (I was hoping she would join that cast but there is a good chance this show will bomb so she can join it for the second half of next season) and most famously known as the lesbian-witch on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh and Doogie Howser is on it too.

Tuesday
8:00 - Bones
9:00 - My Name is Earl
9:30 - The Office

Bones is a crime drama that teams up a forensic anthropologist and an FBI agent (TV and their wacky crime drama pairings; will they ever run out?). The show stars Angel himself, David Boreanaz and Henry Walker from American Dreams. My Name is Earl is about a con man who gives up his life of crime after he wins the lottery. I have a fear, due to the name, that the show will revolve around an AA type meeting for crooks. Jason Lee, mostly known for his work with Kevin Smith, I assume plays Earl.

Wednesday
9:00 - Lost
9:00 - Veronica Mars (Tape)

Lost seems to be a magnet for my favorite shows. Last year it attracted Smallville and American Dreams, this year it is Veronica Mars. Wednesday is also the day the show that tops my "No Way You Will Ever Get Me to Watch That Crap" list with Freddie starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and David Silver (oh please let him rap on this show too). I give the show five weeks.

Thursday
8:00 - Survivor
8:00 - Smallville (Tape)
8:00 - Everybody Hates Chris (If somebody buys me another VCR)
8:00 - Alias (Might catch it on DVD)
9:00 - Everwood

OK here is where my conspiracy theory against me starts. Yeah Lost and Veronica Mars on at the same time sucks, but Thursday at 8:00 sucks massively with four shows I want to watch all on at the same time. Alias is the odd (wo)man out as I never really got in the show that much. Everyone Hates Chris (as in Rock) follows a teenager at a mostly white high school in 1982 with Rock doing his best Daniel Stern impersonation (think The Wonder Years). I might tape Reunion at 9:00 also.

Friday
Friday is where shows go to die so there is never anything worth watching on this night, especially without Joan of Arcadia. Although one show I'll love to make fun of will be The Ghost Whisperer about a newlywed who sees dead people. It stars Jennifer Love Hewitt and Aisha Tyler.

Saturday
(See Friday)

Sunday
8:00 - The Simpsons
8:30 - The War at Home
9:00 - Desperate Housewives

Michael Rapaport Alert! I don't know how this guy can still find work, but he's always good for some good unintentional comedy.


Some shows to look out for that will replace the stiffs like Freddie and The Ghost Whisperer in the midseason include:

Crumbs staring Kevin Arnold (wow, Kevin Arnold and Doogie Houser on TV at the same time. Is it 1988 again? Makes you wonder where DJ Tanner is) and Maggie Lawson who been a few failed sitcoms, Inside Schwartz and It’s All Relative, she due for a good one.

I'm not sure what Pepper Dennis is about or even who Dennis is, but it stars Rebecca Romijn (no more Stamos), Brooke Burns and Lindsay Price. And as an added bonus, it also has the dude from Boy Meets World that wasn't related to Kevin Arnold. How did he get this job?

The Unit is about Delta Force agents starring Dennis Haybert, whom I will always remember as Pedro Cerrano, but most recently he played the president on 24, the Terminator (not Arnold or the chick versions), Amy Acker, the token hot nerdy chick on Angel, and Regina King who was Mrs. Rod Tidwell.

Freebirds is about a recent college graduate who goes from big man on campus to moving back in with his parents. Stars no one in particular.

If you would like to scope out next year's schedule check out at Ain't it Cool News. Also check back later next week as I hand out awards for the 2004-05 TV season and give a few select shows a grade on my Terror Alert Scale.