57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/11/15

Fear the Walking Dead: Well that had to be the dumbest idea in the history of bad ideas to let out an arena full of zombie and lead them into the building you are trying to sneak in to. Certainly there had to be a better plan out there than that. And that ocean looked pretty blood red which is ominous for the next season.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

The StrainWith everyone converging on the Luman I predicted someone would die. I was right and wrong, no one going after the book perished but the show befuddingly killed off the two hot chicks. Hurph.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico:Of course the dude did not die in the future, but I guess it is better than waiting until the middle of the season to reveal that like the first season of Revenge. Then my favorite twist from the premiere the twin Arabs got a little less interesting after learning they were brought in by the Assistant Director. And it is too obvious of a prediction that the gay dude is not really gay and just wants to be the first openly gay recruit? I would not be at all surprised if he does not hook up with one of the Arab Twins before Christmas.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Barbra and Tigress, oh my. I know we the audience know he is evil, but c'mon, did no one notice how bad Galavan and Jerome were interacting in their interaction? At least they killed the latter because he was really becoming the annoying. But Alfred flirting with Dr. Tomkins really made this episode.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: Only one episode this week but the final Auditions did bring a couple of great song choices before the coaches take over and pick the same tired songs (Ain't No Mountain High Enough and yet another Sam Smith song were featured in the promo, le sigh). The last gasp song first ever songs from the catalogs of Tom Waits, Gary Clark Jr., Wonderwall (darn you montage) and whoever you want to credit Dream a Little Dream to, Mama Cass probably being the most famous. But we hay have had our worst Blind Audition of the season when someone had the audacity to try to cover The Scientist. Um, no, Holly Henry owns that cover; it should be retired to The Voice Hall of Fame (to a lesser extent Shelby Brown was alright, but she is no Amanda Brown).

Blindspot: Well that was shocking. I expected bearded dude to be an integral part of the show and they just killed him off. But who exactly was he telling Lady Siff not to trust? I thought he was talking about the FBI but was he not the one who sent her to them? We do know he wiped her memory, but maybe he did not put the tattoos on her. Mmmm, this show is slowly getting interesting. At least we got confirmation that Lady Siff is the FBI dude's childhood friend (which ironically made me a little suspicious that maybe she is not for the first time; though I still think his father was/is involved) so they are not drawing out that storyline.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: I guess I read the Kate leaving situation wrong, she was not leaving town to catch the bad guys, just leaving Castle to keep him safe. Alrightly. But it turns out I am kind of right with Alexis turning into Veronica Mars. Not only did she go blonde but investigated a Stanford Prison Experiment, something Ronnie did in season three. And if Halloween lasts all month like Kate suggests, does that mean we get three more weeks of Angel Alexis? I would not have any problems with that.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Well that was disappointing. I was hoping that we would get more of Gemma on the other planet, maybe running into otherworldly characters in the Marvel universe. Instead we got maybe two minutes on the other planet. We did not even get to see what was chasing her last week. Meh. Maybe she brought back a parasite or two.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor:Second Chances: For those keeping track at home, there have been three episodes and Abi Maria has switched alliances three times. Awesome. Seriously, how do you have a four to two advantage in the numbers and then have three of them being the only three discussed in going home. You would think having all returning players would cut down on the stupid mistakes but this has been the most wild season after three episodes maybe ever. On paper taking Abi Maria to the finals is a sound strategy because no one would vote for her but everyone she is aligned with keep on getting voted out the very next episode. I cannot wait to see who she turns on next week.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Modern Family: Boooooooo. I was hoping Dylan was going to move in permanently.
You can download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So Ressler would not stop the Russian limo because it was tantamount to invading Russian soil to arrest Lizzie, but he had no problem possibly starting World War III to save her life. I love the logic on the show.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/4/15

Once Upon a Time: Seriously, who brings a baby into a twister bound restaurant to another land? But anyway. I kind of liked the ending even though it probably means for the first part of the season we will probably get split story lines from present day and six months ago.

Ray Donovan: So the pop Armenian singer did not work? Maybe I should have guessed that you should not trust Armenian gangsters to keep their word. I was a bit surprised that the FBI guy did not come back at all, Ray did shoot and left him by the side of the road. Maybe next season. Instead we had to spend too much time with Bridget and her teacher who, yes, crossed the proverbial line, but did not do so with two feet. But they did go back to the priest whose storyline was dropped halfway through the season, but no Arayians who were dropped around the same time. But I am guessing Ray going back to the Lord will not last by the time season four comes around.

Fear the Walking Dead: Wait, are the two step siblings going to hook up. That is kind of ew. And why trash the house, just live there? It is much nicer than the one you are living in and the owners are not coming back. And why do I care more about some silly throwaway scene more than the revelation that they are going to "humanely" kill off the civilian population.

Masters of Sex: Oh wow, Bill gave up on Virginia. So does that mean the Little Brown Man (when Betty first said this I was like "oh my" as I did not know that Little Brown was a publishing house) goes nuclear at the press party telling the press about Bill's legal trouble? It it plausible with how the show does time jumps that Bill could spend some time in prison (like the last two summers I am going to stay away from the spoiler zone that is his Wikipedia page). Then there are the questions of the state of his marriage, whether Virginia marries the scent king, and Bill's legal troubles. It actually may be harder not to look at spoilers this time around.

The Strain: I would not all be disappointed if the show devolved into the Gus and Angel show. It would be better than bring back the rat that sits on Eph's head. And it was a different wig to. I wonder if Corey Stoll burned the anime looking original wig and when it came time for the flashback the costume department just had to grab a random one off the rack. I joked earlier this season that they were not going to kill someone off right after including an opening credits sequence (which aired just that one time randomly) but someone has to die next week, right? With everyone descending on the Luman it is hard to think all the players get out alive. Sadly I think it may be the Nazi Vampire (who would have guessed three years ago I would be sad someone killed a Nazi vampire?).
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico: When I saw the previews I wrote that best case scenario it was going to be Homeland season four; worst case scenario: Homeland season three. After one episode it looks much more like season three. Actually it may be worse, it may be more like some crappy Shonda Rhimes show where absurdly attractive professionals have sex with each other in between twists upon twists even if those twists are extremely obvious or make little to no sense. Really the only twist I liked from the premiere (even though it fell into the makes no sense category) was the Muslim twins. I also do not like the storytelling devise of flashing back to the first days of Quantico mixed with a blown up building. Why not tell a linear story of the first days of the FBI and then blow up the building in the season or mid-season final? But I will continue to watch. And let me go ahead and predict the FBI trainer guy is the one setting up the hot Indian chick. Either him or "Taylor Swift" because it will either be the most obvious or one that makes little to no sense.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: So the big new from the show this week was that Jim Gordon and Leslie Thompkins are having a kid. Well not on the show but the actors are in real life. Alright. I wonder if that will be written into the show or she will be hiding behind medical tables soon or maybe she will be kidnapped in the second half of the season. As for the actual show, so a bunch of cheerleaders are about to be set on fire but no one thought to go out the fire door?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The first couple seasons were mostly enjoyable, I made it through the whole season for the first and third seasons (I have to skip the disastrous second season finale). Since then I usually am out sometime around the time the show goes live. I usually fault this on the lack of good singers because in those first three seasons the openly recruited seasoned professionals but since has been more of American Idol type show with mostly armatures (seriously who are there some many teenagers with braces this season?). In the first three seasons there were about twelve different singers on the show who were already in my music library before they auditioned by since that number is one (and she was montaged off the show).

Then this week I was kind of bored again with the same old mediocre teenagers doing boring and bland karaoke versions of songs. And then they introduced another rocker nanny, which we have seen a few times on the show (remember the good old days when Alicia Keys backup singers were the cliche; have we run out of Alicia Keys back up singers?). But then rocker nanny mentioned she used to be in a band called Sleeper Agent. Wait, what? Not only were they in my music library, their song Get Burned was #22 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2012. Okay so her Blind Audition was not great, but if she makes it around to the Knockout Round maybe they will actually let her perform Get Burned.

Last week I mentioned how the Blind Auditions bring out some awesome song selections (before devolving into the same overused catalog in the Battle that get more tired the closer to the finale) and this we got first ever songs on the show from Cheap Trick, Mountain, Cameo, Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness, oh yeah, and someone auditioned with the Rollergirl theme song. That was definitely the most random song choice since someone sang The Jeffersons Theme Song.

Blindspot: Well that is and interesting plot that Lady Sif may be someone from the FBI's past (whom his father was accused of kidnapping and murdering). I do fear this may play out like The Blacklist where there was overwhelming evidence that Red is Lizzie's father only for Red to deny it for two seasons. I am guessing the DNA match will come up negative next week but still tease that that is what happen. The show would be much interesting if it turns out FBI guy's dad did actually kidnap Lady Sif and was the one who trained her.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: Wait, what just happened, is Kate leaving the show or are we getting two separate story lines every week, case of the week and Kate looking for the real killers? I mentioned last week offhandedly I would not mind if the show switched into a Veronica Mars, father daughter PI dynamic with Castle and Alexis but I did not actually think it might happen.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.I.E.L.D.: So over their summer vacation Fitz went from brain damaged to Indiana Jones. Alrighty. While I have spent all summer trying to figure out what happened to Gemma and a black hole portal that bends space and time never once crossed my mind. Hopefully the end of this storyline is not as bad as the ending to Intersteller. But anyway. I am not that familiar with Marvel comics so I am not entirely sure where she is and even though cinematic characters rarely show up, I will be slightly disappointed if we do not see one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Hey, Bradly Cooper has shown willingness to show up on crappy televised versions of his movies. I would even be content with the cosmonaut dog or even Howard the Duck.I was interested in the clock counting down until the Inhumans reach one hundred percent but there are no Marvel movies coming out February 2017 (assuming my math is right) but the next movie after that is the second Guardians movie, not that Gemma will still be around by then (unless this is like the Intersteller water planet where hour equaled like five Earth years). Plus we are still four years away from an Inhumans movie. Speaking of which, the new big bad is effectively scary in a Buffy monster of the week kind of way.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: After thirty season, Survivor has become a well oiled machine that I can recognize every beat that it hits. But that last segment was a weird one. When Varner teased before the break that Shirin and Spencer sealed their fate, I have been conditioned to think either 1) his plan will go horribly wrong or 2) the show will may think think someone is going to flip but ended up towing the line. So when Abi Maria actually told Shirin she was probably going home I though, uh oh, you never tell someone that, now those two will scramble to get someone out. So when they talked to Wooooooooooooo I thought we would get Wooooooooooo saying that maybe he should weigh his option, but no, he shut them down right then. So when they walked to Tribal Council I thought, okay, Abi is going to go full crazy Brazilian chick and get people to turn on them. But no. The dominate alliance did not even mess up splitting the vote. So not only is the show playing with the contestants this season (two twists in the premiere and the promos spoiling another big one next week) they are playing with the viewer's expectations too. And I kind of like it.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder why they did not kill Deacon's sister last week but I guess they just waited a week.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: This show really needed a previously on package. It is hard enough for me to remember last week let along what happen three or four months ago. But, oh my, blonde Lizzy.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated Question for 2015-16 Television

Tomorrow is the official start of Fall television with all four networks premiering new seasons as well as three new shows including Blindspot which tops my most anticipated list. Of course with a new season comes new questions and these are the five I am most interested in:

1. What exactly is the saturation point for comic book shows? Three years ago Arrow was the lone live action funny book on network television (and that is only if you consider The CW a network). Marvel got into the game two years with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Things exploded last year, both of those shows got a spin-off with The Flash and Agent Carter respectively along with Gotham, iZombie, and the only one that did not make it to a second season Constantine (but as a consolation prize the titular character is showing up on Arrow this season). That does not even include the five Marvel Shows that are planned to air on Netflix (Daredevil being the only one that has been released; Jessica Jones is getting released later this year). The networks have adding a couple more this season with yet another Arrow spinoff Legends of Tomorrow and not officially a spin-off but share the same showrunner so a crossover is possible Supergirl. Then on Fox they are adapting Lucifer coming mid-season.

On cable The Walking Dead has remained the lone comic adaptation despite being the biggest show on all television (okay technically that is a graphic novel if you want to split hairs). But that is about to change too and that is not even count The Walking Dead spin-off that is not based on a print version. AMC is developing a show based on the DC property Preacher (ironically starring two Marvel vets Dominic Cooper, the younger Howard Stark and Raina from SHIELD) while TNT is getting into the game with a live action Teen Titans. While over at Syfy they have two funny books in development including a Superman prequil set on Krypton (which will likely have nothing to do with the CBS show just to make things confusing). And in addition to the Netflix series, Playstation's first scripted show Powers was already renewed for a second season. So that is ten comic book adaptations this season on television, six on streaming sites with three coming soon to cable. Even if you only watch comic books adaptations, that is a lot of television to watch.

2. What happened to Gemma Simmons? Speaking of comic books, the biggest cliff hanger to come from one last season was what became of our favorite biochem scientist? A lot happened in the season finale of Agents of SHIELD, Coulson had his hand cut off, the Inhumans mist thing got turned into fish oil pills, Ward was recruiting his own supervillian team, The Avengers came in and saved the day (okay the last one did not, and will never happen), but I want to know is what happened to Gemma after getting sucked into Kree obelisk? I doubt she is gone from the show and snce the obelisk is supposed to destroy Inhumans I am guessing she come out with a new superpower and possibly a new desire to kill Skye Daisy. Of course being a Joss Whedon show, thoughts of Fred who had her body taken over by a God has also crossed my mind. Whatever it is, I am sure the scientist we knew and loved will be much different this season.

3. Will any new show be as good as Mr. Robot? The surprise hit of the summer was easily Mr. Robot who just owned the conversation on the internet. I certainly did not see it coming as I initally had no interest in another attempt at television for Christian Slater until I learned Dalia Royce was also part of the cast. Can anything premiering this fall garner as much attention? My guess is no. Blindspot will probably be the best new show by how long can a procedural that rips off Memento stay in the conversation. Maybe the best at reaching Mr. Robot type hype on network television could be Quantico which looks like it could at its best be Homeland season four. Granted worst case scenario the show devolves into Homeland season three.

4. How will Continuum end? Continuum was has been one of the quietly good shows on television for the past three years and the best time traveling show since Quantum Leap. Of course it got canceled but not before airing six final fourth season episodes (two of which already aired). Evil minions from a dark future timeline showed up in the season premiere and reeked havoc on Keira. Will she finally be able to back to her time? Is there a time for her to go back to now? It will be a fun ride to see if she does.

5. Will Ash vs. The Evil Dead be any good?: We have been inundated with Heroes Reborn promos for the last couple month leading to most people who watch the original wondering, why? The show was widely reviled with most people saying it went off the rails in the second season (I contend the first season pretty much sucked too aside from the one episode Bryan Fuller scripted). On the flip side there has been little press for a reboot that people have been hankering for decades. I remember seeing Army of Darkness in high school thinking it was the greatest thing ever (I eventually went back to watch the two horror Evil Dead movies but much preferred the campiness of the third movie). Pretty much ever since there have been talks of a fourth movie in the Evil Dead saga. The closest came about a decade ago when there was talks of an Ash vs. Freddy vs. Jason movie after the first two horror legends faced off (there have been a couple of comics and video games). There was also hope when the reboot of Evil Dead (which featured Bruce Campbell in a post credits teaser) was released two years ago with a sequel that would see the two franchises combining with both Campbell and Tessa Altman starring. Instead at Comic Con last year Sam Raimi announced there would be a television show to continue the original Evil Dead to air on Starz best known for... um, well, their aired Party Down foe two seasons a couple years ago. Will it be any good? Well it is written by the Raimi brothers (Sam is directing the first episode) and Bruce is staring. As of there there seems to be no ties to the reboot as there has been no announcement of Tessa Altman's involvement, instead Xena the Warrior Princess is in the cast. Since I do not have Starz I can hear what other people say about it and can temper my expectation whenever I get around to seeing it. But as of now I am hopeful. It certainly has to be better than the the Heroes reboot or the televised versions of Limitless or Minority Report which both look dreadful (though I am a bit hopeful the former is successful enough for someone to greenlight a televised Lucy show as that movie was significantly better than Limitless; Tyra Collett as Lucy).


As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome,” so here are the five least anticipated questions of the new television season.

1. Who is going to win the worst reality show this season? No I am not talking about Dancing with the Has Beens and Never Weres or even the final season of American Karaoke but by far the worst reality show on television this season is the Republican Primaries. Four years ago we had the clown car of candidates where nut jobs like Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann each got a week a top the polls before everyone realized just how crazy they were and just ended up nomination Mitt Romney, the human robot. Things were supposed to be different this time around after the Republican conducted an autopsy realizing they need to do a better job courting minorities and women after losing to Barack Obama again. Then Donald Trump got into the race by calling Mexican immigrants rapists and mad sexist statements about Megyn Kelly after she asked if he was sexist... and then went to the top of the Republican polls. He called war hero John McCain a loser for being captured... and rose higher. Most recently he insulted the lone woman in the race, Carly Fioarino's looks in a Rolling Stone interview... and still leads. NBC had and do the biggest troll in history by replacing him on The Celebrity Apprentice with an immigrant who fathered an anchor baby.

Or course this is not to say go ahead and pencil in a Democrat for 2016 because their nomination process is in as much chaos, it is just a lot less entertaining. Seriously, is there a more boring scandal than Hilary Clinton's e-mails? It makes Chris Christie's bridge problems look like a scene out of Wolf of Wall Street in comparison. Unfortunately the only other Democrat who decided to run (so far) is Bernie Sanders who just come across as your crazy Jewish uncle. He is just basically the socialist Ron Paul. How depressing we have to root for Joe Biden to get into the race as the best way to avoid a President Trump or Clinton Part Deux and as we learned from Bush, the sequel is always significantly worse than the original.

2. What happened to Becca in the Elevator at the End of Hindsight? After failing at her second chance in the nineties, actually making a bigger mess of it then she did the first time around, Becca rushed to the elevator that flashed her back to the last great decade, Numb starts playing again... and fade to black. Surprisingly VH1 renewed the lowly rated show thus making wonder where the show would go in the second season. Would it go back to present day? Go back even further? Flash forward to the 00's? Then out of nowhere, late last month VH1 sent out a press release saying "nevermind, Hindsight is canceled." What? If they wanted to cancel it outright after the first season, fine, whatever, but you cannot renew it and then renig later. Renewed shows have gotten shortened before and Southland got canned after getting renewed but that was instantly picked up by TNT, this is the first time I remember a renewed show getting canceled outright before (greenlighted shows get canned before making it to air occasionally, most recently the NBC Coach reboot). And to add insult to injury, days after canceling Hindsight, VH1 announced Black Ink Crew: Chicago, maybe the most befuddling decision by a network since The CW dumped Veronica Mars only to announce Farmer Takes a Wife shortly after.

3. Who is dumb enough to hire Carrie Mathison? I know this is a television show and it would be a boring show if Carrie was forced to get a job at the local mall because she could not get a job in defense again but no one has failed upward more than Carrie, not even Lane Kiffin or Ben Silverman. But on the new season of Homeland, Carrie finds herself with a cushy private contractors job in Germany for some millionaire.

4. Will Community be back for season seven? It was only five short years ago since DirecTV started the modern trend of saving lowly rated but beloved franchises. The trend continues this fall after Hulu saved The Mindy Project. But the big news last year was Yahoo Screen was going to get into the scripted forum by saving Community even though it lost yet another castmember when Shirley went to hang out with Matthew Perry (not to mention the Pierce replacement left to costar in the Breaking Bad prequil). New episodes debuted last spring, I watched the first couple the weekend they came out but eventually forgot about it and still have two or three to watch. Yahoo Screen had said they have interest in doing another season (their two other two original comedies have yet to set the internet aflame even though the one with the AT&T girl, Other Space, is kind of, almost watchable) except star Joel McHale has pretty much said they do not have enough money to pay the cast what they expect now that their contracts expire. I am fine with this because I really could not get up watching the show on the interest, seriously Yahoo Screen, if you want to be taken seriously, at least make a Playstation app so I can watch this on my television. Really, just make a crappy Community movie and be done with it.

Did Deacon survive his surgery? The big Nashville cliffhanger left with Deacon's life hanging in the balance in the balance. Did he survive? Of course he did.


Here is everything I plan to watch this fall and when they premiere (and one bonus question: why is there so much television on Mondays and Wednesdays and basically nothing on Thursday?):

Mondays
8:00 - The Big Bang Theory (September 21)
8:00 - Supergirl (premieres at 8:30 on October 26, 8:00 the following week)
8:00 - Gotham (September 21, Fox)
8:00 - Switched at Birth (already started, ABC Family)
8:00 - The Voice (September 21, NBC)
10:00 - Blindspot (September 21, NBC)
10:00 - Castle (September 21, ABC)
10:00 - Legends (November 2, TNT)

Tuesdays
8:00 - The Muppets (September 22, ABC)
9:00 - Marvel's Agents of SHIELD (September 29, ABC)
10:00 - Wicked City (October 27, ABC)

Wednesdays
8:00 - Survivor: Second Chances (September 23, CBS)
8:00 - The Middle (September 23, ABC)
8:30 - The Goldbergs (September 23, ABC)
9:00 - Modern Family (September 23, ABC)
9:30 - Blask'ish (September 23, ABC)
10:00 - Nashville (September 23, ABC)
10:00 - South Park (September 16, Comedy Central)
10:30 - You're the Worst (September 9, FXX)

Thursdays
9:00 - The Blacklist (October 1, NBC)

Fridays
8:00 - Last Man Standing (September 25, ABC)
9:00 - Grimm (October 30, NBC)
11:00 - Continuum (Already Bac, Syfy)

Sundays
8:00 - Once Upon a Time (September 27, ABC)
8:00 - The Librarians (November 1, TNT)
9:00 - Homeland (October 4, Showtime)
9:00 - The Walking Dead (October 11, AMC)
10:00 - Quantico (September 27, ABC)
10:00 - The Affair (October 4, Showtime)

The Eleventh Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 11th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between July 2014 and June 2015. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2014 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Justified

Best Sitcom: Blackish

Best Sci-Fi Show: Orphan Black

Best Comic Book Adaptation: Marvel's Agent Carter

Best Animated Show: Star Wars: Rebels

Best Reality Show (Competition): The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II

Best Reality Show (Documentary): Sing it On

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best New Show: Marvel's Agent Carter

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: Hindsight

Best Awards Show: 2015 Grammy Awards

Best Hour of TV: Fight - Masters of Sex

Best Half Hour of TV: Martin Luther Skiing Day - Blackish

Biggest Shocker: Paige telling someone who her parents really are

Worst Idea: Bringing back Resurrection for a second season

Worst Moment: Carrie seducing her target on Homeland

Biggest Disappointment: It took Paige this long to learn her parents are Russian

Best New Title Sequence: The Affair

Best Dance Sequence: Alison and Donnie Hendrix rap video homage

Best Character: Alison Hendrix (Orphan Black)

Best New Character: Peggy Carter (Marvel's Agent Carter)

Best Recurring Character: Ronald Pierce (Ray Donovan)

Best Guest Appearance: Lady Sif (Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Best Duo: Raylan Givens and Boyd Crowder (Justified)

Most Entertaining Reality “Star”: Nany Gonzalez (The Challenge)

Most Annoying Reality “Star”: The men of Survivor:Worlds Apart

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Hannibal

Most Anticipated New Show of Next Season: Blindspot

Biggest Question for 2015-2016: What happened to Becca in the elevator?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/2/15

Mad Men: Right before the episode started, I thought to myself, I hope we get a Trudy sighting before the series runs out. Luckily we actually got one moments later with one of the more entertaining scenes in the series history with Pete and his family's hundred years feud with the headmaster (ironically the episode was actually directed by Lane Price himself as Lane punching Pete may be the number one best scene and Pete finally got his revenge on someone else's face). The rest of the episode felt like deja vu with Sterling Cooper looking to break free from their overlords once again. But surprisingly is did not work this time. But the most shocking moment of the episode was Peggy actually talking about her kid for the first time since I believe the second season when he was being taken care of by her mother. I just thought they completely dumped that story line and would never mention it again.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: I was not totally convinced Victoria killed herself last week, and this week I am convinced she is still around somewhere. But then that begs the question of did she actually implanted her teeth into a corpse or payed someone to change the records. And sure her video was deleted from the server, but couldn't Nolan and his infinite computer knowledge just undelete it? Seems like something that can easily be done. Or at the very least, wouldn't it still be saved in Emily's cashe? Not that it should matter at all because there has to be surveillance footage of Emily at the air field, it would be hard to believe that is the only air field in America without cameras all over the grounds.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

Gotham: Well, we finally learned where Harvey's proverbial line is this week and it is donkeys. Funniest part of an otherwise dark episode. Odd that Barbara told The Ogre to kill her parents, I just assumed she would say to target the good doctor instead. And where does that love triangle from from her, will the guilt drive Jim back into Barbara's arms despite the Stockholm Syndrome? I kind of hope they stray from the funny books and have Barbara become the new Ogre because that may be the only way they make the character interesting.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Bates Motel: It actually took me to this week to realize that Bob Paris is the same guy who plays Ted Chaough... I was not voted Least Observant in high school for nothing. But anyway. The big new though this week was the return of Bradley... maybe. Is she really there or just a figment of Norman's imagination?
You can download Bates Motel on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Boooo, they should have let Simmons kill Ward, would have been poetic. But hey, we got an Age of Ultron spoiler: the Avengers are going to go after Loki's spear. Um, nice tie in, I guess.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar vs. No Collar: Shame that Shirin did not win Immunity too, that would have made for an interesting Tribal. Granted we almost got an almost was an all time Tribal Council with Mike threatening to use his Hidden Immunity Idol. Too bad Will was the only one dumb enough to switch his vote (Tyler definitely had to just in case Mike was not bluffing, but Will, again, showed he was a moron) but it was obvious that Mike was bluffing if he was not willing to hand over the Idol pre-vote. Now the question is if Dan finally realized he is on the bottom. Too bad it may have been too late because if he does team back up with Mike and is able to pull in Sierra, the best they could do is tie the vote even with his extra vote. Then again they could always get Will to do something stupid again.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/19/15

Once Upon a Time: Oh yeah, I forgot Robin Hood was out there somewhere. I also forgot just how boring he is. Maybe the show can turn him into a wolf or something.

Mad Men: Weird that Betty and company showed up in the first scene and were not seen again after that. I audibly groaned when I saw them thinking we were going to have to sit through another boring Betty story line. Instead we got the loathsome Harry who managed to to creep on Megan before the ink on the divorcee papers was even dry, or technically before there was any ink on them at all. Overall a pretty meh episode even if we mostly avoided the Francis clan, it definitely needed more Ken.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Holy Billy Riggins sighting! But why are they wasting his talents on just knocking on the door to a bathroom? He did not even get to run into his sister-in-law. Oh well. So we finally learned how May get her title of The Calvary before taking a desk job until Coulson brought her back into the field. Fine, whatever, But maybe the most interesting part of SHIELD this week was Clarke Gregg Skyping into Jimmy Kimmel Live during a fan Q and A segment to ask any of the Avengers if they ever thought about working on the small screen which was met by deafening silence by the six movie stars. Ouch. Guess none of The Avengers will learn Coulson is not so dead anytime soon.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: For the third time in the series history, the finale episode featured the song No One Gets Out of Harlan Alive. This turned out to be one big red herring because everyone who has been around from the first season was able to get out of Harlan with their heart still beating: Raylan, Boyd, Ava, even Wynn Duffy moved to an undisclosed location presumably to to door to door dog grooming.

Not that it was a satisfying ending. Raylan got in a few more great zingers, the best being, "Try this one" as he kicked a gun to Boyd after admitting he was out of bullets. Then Raylan did get his one last showdown with Boone that even though you knew was coming the moment he stepped on screen did not make it any less epic. Raylan is actually losing his touch because he actually let Boone get a shot off.

As it seems to becoming standard for television shows, we got a "four years later" coda, most surprising being that Raylan did not get the girl (whatever did happen to Jackie Nevada), Ava had a chid of her own and we finally learn why Boyd and Raylan just could not kill each other: they were brothers in arms who just took different paths, and they managed to help each other get out of Harlan alive.

All that is left now is figuring out where the show lands in the Pantheon of all time great television shows. I am ready to call it the best of the first half of this decade. As for all time, the show boasts the all time greatest opening of all time (Raylan giving the crime boss twenty-four hours to leave town and the time is up), one of the greatest antagonist of all time in Mags Bennett (sorry Boyd). Really only two demerits: the drag of the Michael Rappaport season and the flimsy heal turn by Ava, shaking up with her brother-in-law who was more evil than the man she killed. Still, if there were a Television Hall of Fame, you could make an easy argument for Justified in five years.
You can download Justified on iTunes.


Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar. vs. No Collar: I liked how Probst refused to verify the validity of the Hidden Immunity Idol for Mike. Fake Idols are not made on this show enough anymore. Other that, a pretty boring episode as we are in the long decimation of the smaller alliance post merge that happens most seasons. They should really double up those eliminations into one episode when that happens to speed things up. Hopefully the promo for next week was not a red herring and that Mike and the Masshole go after each other (which hopefully results in the Masshole's elimination).
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The American's: When Martha found out Clark was not who he said he was I thought, well he has to kill her now. With her cracking and about to go home I thought, oh yeah, Clark is taking off his wig so Martha knows exactly who he is before he kills her. Except the episode just faded to black. But she cannot possibly survive the season. And with the season finale next week, someone has to finally take the fall for the bugged pen. Martha death making it look like a suicide because of guilt over betraying her country but I still think Stan may actually going to get caught trying to free Nina that he gets fingered.
The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: Juliet's irrational post pregnancy moods is really the most entertaining she has ever been.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/12/15

Shameless: Yeah I was totally wrong about never seeing Sammi again. Why end the episode there, between that and juvi showdown I was the most excited about this season in its final three minutes. The rest was not very shocking with Fiona choosing wrongly once again, Frank's sugar momma dying on him (or so we are lewd to believe), and Ian finding his way home. Really only shocking part of the finale was Debbie announcing she was pregnant... I think. That was kind of unclear. But having a fourteen year old pregnant really is a very Shameless storyline.

Mad Men: I was a little grumpy going into the premiere because of the stupid half season stunt and I could barely remember the first half of the season (I really only remember Bert dying and dancing his way off the show), but whoa, that is how you start off an episode after a long break (fun fact: the girl in the fur coat was Andie McDowell's daughter). Though why was Sterling Cooper still auditioning anyone after that, hire her right then and there. The rest of the episode had its ups and down and should I know what is happening (I was not entirely the chick from season one was the chick in Don's dream until her named popped up in the credits and did not even realize that was a dream until Don brought it up to the waitress). But the clear winner of the episode was Ken Cosgrove who gets one over on Rodger, that should be a fun dynamic for the rest of the season, the only way it could be more entertaining is if Ken hires Paul Kinsey to work with him.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

American Odyssey: The has been a glut of Homeland rip-offs networks have tried out over the past three seasons with The Blacklist the only one to get a second season (Crisis being the only other one I personally enjoyed). So I did not have much hope going into this show and it pretty much live up to my low expectations. Add in the extremely cliched rich people are evil and do everything in their power to hide their evilness with the government's help and the show will probably end up being a very tedious watch.
You can download American Odyssey on iTunes.

Bates Motel: The best part of the episode, if not the entire series, was Romero's reaction shots during Norma's blackmail attempt. I am surprised the evil businessman accepted, I am sure he does have other plans than the one Norma demanded.
You can download Bates Motel on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Oh hey, Deathlok, I completely forgot about that guy. And oh hey, Sky's mom, I thought she was dead. I guess in addition to not aging she apparently cannot die even when disected. So when does she reveal that to Sky? You would think that would be part of the introduction.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: They really should have included the hill people in the "Previously On" package because took me until he started talking about putting Raylan and Boyd in a box to remember who he was. And poor Constable Bob, about to get his biggest criminal of his life only to get shot two times. Only one episode left but it feels like they may need another two or three episodes to wrap everything up at this point. Like just how is Raylan going to get away from the state troopers. His, "Don't suppose you'd believe me if I said no" still is one of his best one liners. But the biggest question is who, if anyone, will defy the song and get out of Harlen alive?
You can download Justified on iTunes.


Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar. vs. No Collar: It is time again to bid fond farewell to the Token Hot Chick this season. Well at least we will get to see Hali on the jury. As the votes came in and I wondered why the White Collar did not flip like they pondered I realized the major flaw in Survivor, annoying people always go further than they deserve because smart players know they will be easy to beat in the Final Tribal. Sure it would have been much better television had the two White Collar players joined No Collar and voted off the annoying Blue Collar tribe. But it would be harder to beat them in a final tribal and if you believe the Masshole that they are a final four with Will, those are two very beatable players. This happens every season, I sit and wonder why they do not get rid of the annoying person or people, but that is the smartest strategy.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Voice: Much like the previous seasons, I have lost interest somewhere between the Blind Auditions and Live Playoffs and I have definitely reached that point this season which I am done with. Of course number one on my Power Ranking after the Knockout Round got the Preston Pohl Memorial for Worst Song Selection for the Live Playoffs. It seems like most people believe the coaches or producers do this to make sure their favorite advance (it does not help that Adam has openly admitted to sabotaging his team during the first season so Javier would have an easier path to the finale). I am not much of a conspiracy theorist (except when something questionable happens on Team Adam) but I do find it befuddling that they would give Love Me Like You Do to Brooke Adee. First off, the song just sucks. Second it is a little creepy having a teenager sing a song from a movie about a sex slave. And third, the song was already used earlier this season and apparently bombed so bad it was montaged. So are the coaches (or the producers) just really bad at figuring out songs for certain artists, especially more alternative singers (again, see Preston Pohl) or do they actually try to railroad certain artists. And if it is the latter, why sabotage Brooke if that means the boring and bland Corey advances? I could say I will never watch the show again, and I should not, but I am sure the turning chairs will draw me in again in the fall only to complain about the lack of talent by Thanksgiving.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/4/15

Once Upon a Time: I remember back when we saw Emma's back story saying that it was surprising that her friend did not turn out to be a fairy tale character. Well, it turned out she was in fact from the fairy tale world and apparently Malificant's daughter. Except wasn't Lily Hispanic? Or was I thinking of someone else?
You can Download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Even though I thought it was the case, I still laughed at the end when Sammi started banging on the storage bin revealing she was not so dead. I do wonder if that is the last we see of her, it does seem like that character has run her course and this show has no problem getting rid of characters they do not know what to do with anymore.

The Walking Dead: During the final commercial break I was thinking, are they really not going to kill anybody off in the season finale. Sure Glenn somehow made it out of the zombie dog pile, Daryl somehow was saved by one dude as about a hundred zombies surrounded his car (no one thought of at least trying to hot wire it). Things got even more surprising when Glenn and his nemesis and Sasha and the Reverend were all seen in some weird friendship montage. Of course that was all red herrings for the finale when the evil doctor stabbed the politician's husband who gave Rick the okay to kill him right in front of his old friend Morgan who just got done telling Daryl "Every life is precious." There has been a lot of discussion this season about how Rick has morphed into Shane. Does that make Morgan the season one version of Rick to Rick's Shane? We will have to wait until fall to find out but first up we get to see how the outbreak broke out with Fear the Walking Dead this summer! Starring Matt Saresen's mom!! Hopefully that show does not take four to five seasons to get good.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: So Courtney Love pops up in one scene as a hit man who services will not be needed? Alrighty, I have a feeling this will not be her only appearance. Does she still go after Emily Amanda or go after Margot for knowing her identity? This is just getting too silly, hopefully this is the end of the show, just let Courtney Love and Louise kill them all.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

Marvel's Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Finally a showdown between Bobbie and May, and it certainly lived up to expectations. But the feuding SHIELDs is a little silly, you are both on the same side, there is no need to act so covertly against each other.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: Rarely is there is a scene that is extremely shocking but Mikey Michael strangling Katherine to death while she keeps shooting him had my jaw dropped for a couple minutes.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Wow, an Immunity Idol actually worked I cannot remember the last time that happened. Not that it matters much if it stays six versus four. I am surprised the White Collar went with the Blue Collar who is full five, why not go with the easier No Collar tribe?
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Americans: Finally Paige learned who her parents were after teasing that she was on to them way back in the first season finale. Of course right went something interesting was about to happen when CIA Agent Stan showed up to diner, the episode ended. Meanwhile Henry got more lines this week than in his entire run of the series to date.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/29/15

Once Upon a Time: So if the good guys are going to pick off Mr. Gold's cabal one by one with kindness, does this mean they are going to give Cruella Dr. Hopper's Dalmatian as an appeasement to her at some point?
You can Download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh no, Sammy called the Army to report Ian. Which begs the question how did it take a tip from someone to catch him, Ian was hiding in his own home? I wonder if he will get a bunk with his brother.

The Walking Dead: Oh snap, I just figured that the old group would just blindly follow Rick with his overthrow of Alexandria but it did not cross my mind that any of them would actually want to assimilate which apparently Michone does. If Rick is exiled like I assume I wonder who goes with him. Of course they will be back just as Rick warned Deanna that anyone exile will be back. Sure the middle episodes were a bit of a drag but no one does season premieres / finales like this show and next week should be explosive. Plus we still have the person that is marking walker foreheads with a Scarlet A.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: So a taxi to happened to plow Margot over in the fire lane? Seems fishing, nothing is that coincidental on this show. I wonder if her henchman had anything to do with it, with or without Margo's knowledge, because he seemed a little to overeager not to give up the fight.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

Bates Motel: So Norman did not kill the token hot chick like I feared, but she still ended up dead. Meh.
You can download Bates Motel on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have long predicted a not so dead Mona would turn out to Be A, well at least I was half right. When her name flashed up under the guest star list I then assumed a not so dead Alison's mother was going to be A after realizing it was not Mona. Completely wrong at that. We learned that Charles is actually A and by the home movie that do make it seem like Charles is Jason's twin brother that apparently no one knew existed. If so, where has he been all this time? Did the Dilarentas family have him hidden in that bunker this whole time?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agent of SHIELD: So the "Real SHIELD" does not trust Coulson and his alien DNA, that actually seems reasonable. They could have spent the whole episode in that conference room explaining stuff I would not have minded because I could not care less about Ward and Agent 33 (but it did give us some decent comedy with Talbott ruining his marriage and basically sexually harassing his female underlings).
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: One of the main problems with this season was that you knew that Raylan was not going to catch Boyd until the series finale but much like season four where they actually caught Drew Thompson a couple episodes prior to the finale and then ending up have its best episodes of the season after that, Raylan actually caught Boyd redhanded with a couple episodes left. It looks like we may get the trial Tim was hoping for. Though since the CI shot him, I wonder if a RICO case will stick.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: Congratulations to Sarah and Jordan. And since you won, you can both retire because I really have no desire to see either back on the show. And take Jay and Jenna with you because they do not deserve another invite after quitting (though it is odd the other challenges had a thirty minute time limit but the drinking one). Pure rookie moves, first they do not look at LeRoy's answer and then they actually tried drinking the fish oil while Sarah and Teresa clearly poured half of it down their faces and then spit out the rest while pretending to puke.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar vs. No Collar: Morons, Survivor 101 states you never, under any circumstance: throw a challenge. The only time anyone threw a challenge and actually ended up winning was when in Fans vs. Favorites they did not even bother to compete just to get rid of Brandon Hantz. Every other time a team that has thrown a challenge, no one involved ever won that season. It is weird to think after how bad their tribe was, No Collar may actually be in the drivers seat. Blue Collar is in disarray, White Collar lost two members after the tribe swap, if smart the No Collar could easily decimate everyone, but are they smart enough to do that now that the merge is immanent?
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Americans: Could Stan actually take the fall for the bug in the pen? If someone catches him working with Oleg he would have to move to the top of the suspect list for the FBI. But I have a feeling the black dude will end up being that fall guy.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Wait, did they just out Lizzie as being pregnant? Tom having an ultrasound in his pocket pretty much confirms it. Red is going to be very disappointed.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/22/15

Shameless: I was hoping for a Carl / Chucky juvenile spinoff but it looks like we will be getting that on the main show with both being sentenced to hard time. Of course Chucky ended up with the white supremacists while Carl ended up with the hood gang. Elsewhere I really liked the doctor story line, I just wonder how long it will last. On one hand, Frank needs a place to stay, on the other, the last time he took care of a dying women in hopes of being left her estate did not work out very well for him. But then again, nothing really works out for him except for his inability to stay dead.

The Walking Dead: A couple weeks ago I floated out the theory that it was not Rick and company who should be weary of the residents of Alexandria because they always run into evil doers, it should be Alexandria that should be hesitant of the new group. It looks like I am not the only one as the reverend also voiced his concern over Rick. With the death of the congresswoman's son, I am guessing the coup will be coming next week (or at the very least in two weeks for the finale).And poor young Chris Rock, but how do you let one person out power two in the revolving door? And speaking of those two deaths, the camera really lingered way too long on those death scenes.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Bates Motel: So Norman maybe killed the token hot chick already? Bummer. But that was not her in the lake was it, it looked more like a dude, I first thought that was the creepy neighbor.
You can download Bates Motel on iTunes

Community: About a decade ago Arrested Development did everything it could to get a fourth season, they even slipped some in jokes about hoping to being picked up by HBO or Showtime into episodes. But alas, the show could not find a new home. Five years later, DirecTV saved Damages from cancellation opening up a flood gate an now five short years after that no beloved or cult television show is allowed to died because there are so many channels, band streaming sites looking for content. Even horrible shows that everyone hates like The Killing somehow manages a reprieve. Seven years later Arrested Development finally got its fourth season. So it is clear we are now living in an era when no media property will die as long as everyone involved wants it to live on (sorry Friday Night Lights fans, Kyle Chandler has no interest in reviving the series, probably for the best).

So when Community finally got the ax from NBC, the was little question on if it would get its prophetized six seasons a movie, the question would be where would it land. Hulu passed and surprisingly Yahoo! wanted to get in the streaming game. Even more surprising is that the show is basically commercial free and free to watch. I watched the first two episode and they only aired on ad before the first one. As for the content itself, it is still Community even though it is down yet another cast member (Shirley escaped to CBS multicam hell), it did not even relish in the lack of network standards and practices. Like always it is somewhat enjoyable but I really hope that this is it, well plus a movie. But even if this is it, it will probably be revived again in five years or so.
You can watch Community on Yahoo Screen.

Pretty Little Liars: I have been out on this show for a season or two now, but this episode finally pulled me back in with the characters acting like idiots (passing notes in jail with the lawyer calling them out for it; Aria's brother leaving the car after getting hit with an arrow... stay in the car and keep driving you moron, do not leave the car where there is not a windshield to protect you) and other characters just doing things for no apparent reason (Calab just sitting in the dark at the cabin) and a big plot twist: Alison gets convicted followed directly by all the Liars getting arrested. If only they had gone to the police after the first text. An let me predict one more time, a not so dead Mona will turn out to be the next A that will be revealed next week.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: So the big secret Bobbi and Mack have is they are covert operatives for "the real SHIELD." Alrighty. At least they only drug that secret out two episode. Granted if Edward James Olmos is involved, maybe it is the real SHIELD. And let me guess, he is going to want to lock Skye up but over Colson's dead body.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes

Justified: If you are dumb enough not to assume the evil crime boss lady does not keep a gun in her purse, you definitely deserve to die. The Ava finally tipped her hand and went with Raylan this week, unfortunately for her, Boyd did not get caught red handed as he did not make it through the bottom of the floor. Yeah, it probably was not the best idea to trust the crazy explosion expert.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: So Sarah has had two of her partners leave prematurely and was sent home too as a result; Leroy had two of his sent home and both times got a replacement partner. This time he got an upgrade right before the finale. Lucky boy. Why not just hand him the prize right then and there (well probably because Sarah ends up winning anyway). But the best part of the show was the After Show with Banana's saying he would never sell out a friend / cut to him selling out Paula. Did he forget all of this was on tape?
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: Ask and you shall receive, just last week I was complaining about no Reward Challenges and we get two this week. The show flows a lot better with two challenges per episode. Then we had a Tribe Swap which could not have ended better for Blue Collar, a majority on one tribe and a swing vote on the other. Bearded dude brought up it ended up like the swap back in One World but it was also divided by strength back in the Fans vs. Favorites II season also. Maybe it is fixed.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Americans: Wait, is Martha really going to forgive Clark? Even more surprising, how does Clark kill Martha just in case?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Wait, so they just let Tom walk after confessing to killing harbor master just to keep Lizzy out of jail even though the AG guy could have made the whole thing go away anyway? Maybe Tom should have been taken to a black site. I really hope he does not end up joining the team somewhere down the road.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/15/15

Once Upon a Time: So Snow White had something to do with Malicifant losing her baby and she had something to do with Cora's death... are we sure he is really pure at heart?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Considering all the horrible things Frank has done, I am not sure this tops the list, but getting your grandson arrested by selling out your son at the same time is pretty high on the list. I have long advocated for a Justified spinoff starring Dewey and Dicky in prison, but a Shameless spinoff with Chucky and Uncle Carl in prison may just be as entertaining.

House of Lies: As soon as Clyde hooked up with Kelsey after Doug got there first last week my first thought was, oh no, we are going to have to sit though a threesome of them. Kelsey quickly brought it up shortly afterwards, joking or not, but I really fear they will go through with it. You know Doug will have no qualms about it, no will Clyde just talk himself into it.

Revenge: So the chick from Firefly is Victoria's ex-mother-in-law... What? It is really time for this show to end.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

The Returned: As I teased in my preview, the sisters turning out be twins was extremely freaky. Twins are kind of freaky on their own but this takes it to another level. And to tease upcoming episodes, their twin connection get only more freaky in upcoming episodes. I did not get to bring it up in the preview, so just let me now point out just how wrong having sex with a "psychic" to connect with your daughter is. And if you are a fake physic, why add they sex part to it?
You can download The Returned on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I was expecting the trial to be a little more explosive than that. Sure it came out that Mama Marrin hooked up with Jason and the prosecutor theorized that Alison was never kidnapped without any actual proof. Hopefully they are much more fireworks in the season finale which promises another "A" reveal which I think with be the fifth in the show's history. Let me go and predict a not so dead Mona is pulling the strings.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: If ABC decides not to bring Agent Carter back, they should definitely go with a Lady Sif spin-off for a mid season filler for SHIELD. Or even better, cut SHIELD to ten episodes, then ten of Agent Carter and Lad Sif.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes

Switched at Birth: Whoa, Bay, of course Emmett is going to break up with you when you go all crazy girlfriend on him, interrupting his movie not once but twice. But very smooth for Emmett to pull they maybe we can hook back up after college if I cannot find anything better while I am here ploy. Has that actually ever worked for anyone?
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Justified: What a weird ending to the episode as Raylan gets Shakespearean with his father in his old hiding space which turned out to be as empty as Al Capone's vault. Just a weird departure for a show with about a month left before going off the air.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: At the beginning of the season TJ asked Nany which of the guys was going to be her partner and she mentioned it could have well been half of them. For the inevitable next Rivals season, there are just as many possibilities and it looks like you can add Nia and Sarah to that list. Of course Sarah made the right decision, you eliminate a strong team right before the finals. If Bananas or Leroy think they deserve to be in the finals, they should have won the last challenge, and they definitely should not have lost it.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: zit seems like I say this every season, but the show really needs to bring back the Reward Challenge, with only one challenge per episode we get way too much filler, like watching monkeys having sex.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

Hindsight: So Lolly, who was okay with Becca hooking up Kevin, now thinks its is an unforgivable act because a Lolly in another timeline shunned future Becca for it. Chicks, man, chicks. What a depressing way to end a season, Becca pretty much screwed everything up, her future husband ended up marrying someone else, her brother, and possibly father, are going to jail, she ruined her friendship with Lolly a whole decade earlier. Really, they only one whose life improved was her ex-husband who managed to sell some paintings. Then the ending was pretty vague, clearly she went into the elevator hoping to be transported back to current day. The musical cue of Numb would have us to believe that there was some time traveling involving involved but I would be surprised if she ends up back in 2015. Of course I would be more surprised if there is a second two. But if there is I would guess Becca wakes up in a different year, maybe 2005. The Killers! Jack Johnson!! Gorillaz!!! A sane Kanye West!!!! Sure I'd watch that.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: This is beginning to be one of those show where the promos are more entertaining than the actual show. Last week they made it seem like Martha was going to confront Clarke, this week she realized that the spying equipment was inadvertently brought in by her, but she never ended up confronting Clarke about it. And wasn't Paige supposed to confront her parents this week? Are they really going to drag this out for the rest of the season?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Odd to have a glorified clip show at this point in the second season. And did we really learn that it was Red who hired Tom to get close to Lizzy instead of Berlin like we were told earlier? I guess that is why that interaction they had before Tom disappeared was weird.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Finally, at long last, gender equality has become a reality now that a dude has actually been crowned King of the Nerds for the very first time. I was rooting for Kaitlyn, but it is hard to justify having a King of the Nerds be someone who works with NASA and cannot get a sun question right that even I guessed correctly.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/8/15

Once Upon a Time: Seriously, no one noticed the smoke monster slither out of the magic hat? And if Mr. Gold is such an evil genius, why wait at the city line for a sea hag that in no way should help you get back into Storybrooke when you could just stowaway in the truck of the car? But when your adversaries are dumb enough to believe someone stole your phone and just happened to call you out of nowhere, you look like a genius next to them.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Last week I suggested there will end up being something nefarious about Alexandra, but watching this episode I am beginning to think that Rick and company will be the antagonists to the city folk, not the other way around. And why did no one offer Carl a haircut too?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: I was hoping through Skye's transformation she would find a new hairstyle, but alas, it is for not. overall kind of a meh episode even with the Hydra take down and the new Raina. Is it possible they can get Agent Carter into a time machine and inserted into this show?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes

Justified: So Limehouse did sell out Ava and yet Boyd does not irrationally kill her like Dewey (aside from a brief question from Raylan last week, does anyone care that he has been missing since the first episode; Dewey deserves justice). Boyd cannot possibly trust her anymore (which is why he gave her a gun with no bullets), so I wonder if he will eventually (try to) get rid of her once he knows for sure what Raylan is doing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Welcome back Nany, who wastes no time getting into her first fight. Whoever decided to put her in slo-mo while Bananas puts a fist in his mouth deserves a Emmy for that editing.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: I was racking my brain trying to think of a time when an entire tribe was blindsided by a vote where an Idol was not involved. And what a horrible move, Will went from the swing vote and in control of the destiny of his tribe to the least liked person in the tribe that no one can trust. This show is at its best when it is filled with morons and this season has its fair share of them.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

Hindsight: You gotta love any show that starts off an episode with a Toad the Wet Sprocket deep cut. Though I do not understand why Becca just does not stop Kevin right away, she know what it does to her relationship with Lolly and it is clearly not something that lasts because she end up with Andy. But kudos to Lolly for deciphering that Letters to Cleo song.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: After two and a half season, are we finally going to get two plot twists that should have happened at the very least last season? The promo sure makes it looks like Paige will finally learn about her parents' double life and that one of the Jennings will actually get caught after too many close calls.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Television has been littered with countless characters that should have been killed off a lot earlier than they did which range from just rolling your eyes whenever they walk on screen to completely ruining a great show, something that will forever be known as "The Brody." Tom is currently closer to the eye-rolling portion of the spectrum right now, but the show should have really killed him at the end of last season, he serves no purpose now.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It became pretty obvious that I would have no chance on this show. During that name as many nerd culture things as you could, I probably only would have done good in the movies and Mario Kart categories. Though I would have crushed the Stratigo Nerd Off. C'mon, you always put the flag in the front row if you are playing someone smart.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

The Tenth Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 10th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between June 2013 and June 2014. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2014 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Hannibal

Best Sitcom: The Big Bang Theory

Best Sci-Fi Show: Orphan Black

Best Reality Show: Survivor: Blood vs. Water

Best Talent Competition: The Sing-Off

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best Talk Show Host: Norm McDonald

Best New Show: Masters of Sex

Best Mini-Series: Bonnie and Clyde

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: Pretty Little Liars

Best Awards Show: 2014 Grammy Awards

Best Hour of TV: Mizumono – Hannibal

Best Half Hour of TV: Goldbergs Never Say Die – The Goldbergs

Biggest Shocker: Hannibal Lecter leaves his house with everyone else near death

Worst Idea: The How I Met Your Mother ending

Worst Moment: Kat not making the merge on Survivor: Blood vs. Water

Biggest Disappointment: Homeland season three

Best New Title Sequence: Penny Dreadful


Best Song Placement: Ants Marching – Dave Matthews Band (Community)

Best Karaoke: Islands In the Stream – Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton (as sung by Wayne Brady and Wayne Brady, How I Met Your Mother)

Best Singing Competition Performance: The Scientist – Holly Henry


Best Dance Sequence: Bert Cooper’s exit (Mad Men)


Best Fight (Scripted): Dr. Hannibal Lecter vs. Special Agent-in-Charge Jack Crawford (Hannibal)

Best Fight (Unscripted): Nany Gonzalez vs. Camilla Nakagawa (The Challenge: Free Agents)

Hottest Token Hot Chick:

Best Character: Alison Hendrix (Orphan Black)

Best New Character: Raymond Reddington (The Blacklist)

Best Recurring Character: Dewey Crowe (Justified)

Best Guest Appearance: Nick Fury (Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Best Duo: Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons (Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Most Entertaining Reality “Star”: Ciera Eastin (Survivor: Blood vs. Water)

Most Annoying Reality “Star”: Brad (Not-Dante) Culpepper (Survivor: Blood vs. Water)

Best Quote: Spare us the wiener act. Bullying is a vital part of every ecosystem, it teaches kids resilience. The world is a rough place. Bullying is like getting inoculated: it’s a vaccine. And you little (expletive deleted), you got to learn to stay away from people like my son. That is what you learn when you get punched in the face by a bully. How do you think Steve Jobs turned out so great? Bullies. And I guarantee Junior here will be getting the hottest chicks when he’s thirty because he got bullied today. Do you want to peak now? My kid will be picking up roadside garbage in an orange jumpsuit in ten years and you’re kid will be in med school curing cancer and getting laid. You’re welcome. (Frank Gallahger, Shameless)

Best “Unscripted” Quote: Our relationship is just starting and now I've, like, embarrassed all his friends. Who wants to date someone that doesn’t make the merge? (Kat Edorsson, Survivor: Blood vs. Water)

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Suburgatory

Most Anticipated New Show of Next Season: Marvel’s Agent Carter

Biggest Question for 2014-2015: Can Homeland ever be great again?