Musings From the Back 9 vol. X - Sports Edition

- For those who watched the season finale of Everybody Hates Chris, you saw a hilarious montage about how people go all out for Mother’s Day, but Father’s Day is basically an afterthought for most of us. But it looks like Major League Baseball, after going all out with their breast cancer awareness on Mother’s Day (see - Think Pink), are not forgetting the less fair sex. This Sunday at all MLB games they will be holding the 7th Inning Stretch an inning early. Why you ask, it’s to point out that one out of every six male will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. Granted not as cool as pink bats, nor is it getting the same amount of press (I couldn’t even find anything about it on espn.com), but it is something.

- Much like many of March Madness brackets where I knew I was out of it after the first weekend, I think you can put a fork in my World Cup picks. After the first full week of games I’ve gotten ten of twenty games right putting me in almost in the fortieth percentile. Of course I doubt I’m not the only one that had Equator advancing. But I did have the four other teams that have already punched their tickets in (Germany, England, Argentina, Netherlands, see the rest of my picks - Are You Ready for Some Football?). Hopefully the USA can pull out a win against Italy so I can salvage that pick of them advancing.

- To protect his strained oblique muscle, Big Head Barry has taken to wearing a girdle. The oversized dome is now officially gone from laughable to sad. I don’t even know what else to say.

- Lastly, I would like thank everyone who participated in yesterday’s Lyrics Quiz as it was one of the rare quizzes where I didn’t have to go to the hints to get some guessed. Granted the power ballad is a pretty narrow subject as most of them hold a soft spot in our hearts. I’m not too surprised that Guppyman came out triumphant because the theme seemed right up his alley and now he is firmly planted on my Lyrics Quiz Winners list on my sidebar. If you would like to join him, or move higher up the list, be sure to stop back July 15th for the one year anniversary of the Lyrics Quiz on the 9th Green when I may have an extra special edition. Well most likely not.

- And on an non-sports related topic (if ESPN is showing the dominos championships, the lyrics quiz can fall in that category too; it’s a competition) my sister site, Scooter McGavin Takes Pictures, has an interesting story that may just give some insights into season three of Veronica Mars that involves Deputy Sacks. And who wouldn’t want more Sacks? So be sure to check that out.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. IX - Sports Edition

- The big sports story of the week was that Antonio Davis went into the stands while his New York Knicks were visiting the Chicago Bulls. I’m really surprised that after the Artest brawl last year that we didn’t see a rash of fans hoping to goad players into a million dollar lawsuit. More surprisingly the fan in the incident, Michael Axelrod, was willing not to file a million dollar lawsuit in exchange for an apology. For some reason Davis has decided not to apologize which means he’ll end up paying Axelrod thousands of dollars for the lawsuit to go away. Hopefully the 22 year old will spend the money on some Rogaine because he is way too young to be sporting the Matt Hasselback hairdo.

- After a hard fought Ice Skating National Championships to decide who gets to go to the Olympics they still named someone who didn’t even compete just to show why Ice Skating isn’t a sport and should be banned from the Olympics. You didn’t see the Jets, who many thought would make the playoffs in the preseason, petition the NFL to get a free pass into the playoffs because Chad Pennington went down? But it’s almost poetic justice that Michelle Kwan got an exemption considering she was the one bumped to alternate when Nancy Kerrigan got knee-capped. But I don’t blame Kwan considering where Kerrigan is these days but I’m sure when the next Winter Olympics come around Kwan will be on Skating with the Stars too with her partner Nelly.

- The big news out of the Australian Open, and really the only reason I know it’s going on is the reports that Andy Roddick and Maria Sharapova are hooking up down under. For those keeping track at home, if this is true, Roddick has pulled off one of the greatest feats of our lifetime by somehow being able to upgrade from Mandy Moore. But both tennis stars are denying the reports and have even pulled out the Friends Card. I never understood this tactic from a guy’s point of view. Why would anyone deny that he’s hooking up with one of the hottest chicks in the world? Even if it weren’t true, that doesn’t mean you need to lie and say you are, but you don’t have to deny it either, just play coy or evade the question, which would in turn make everyone believe its true and you don’t have to lie.

- Alex Rodriguez finally decided he is going to play for the U.S.A. in the World Baseball Classic. This is most likely the best chose because no one in America will be watching when he chokes because we’ll all be watching March Madness. Had he when with the Dominican Republic he would have disgraced a whole nation, who would be watching every pitch of the tournament, when he strikes out in the bottom of the 9th to eliminate his team.

- Not really sports related but here’s another exclusive picture courtesy of UPN/Warner Bros. (all rights reserved and all that other legal stuff) from the upcoming Veronica Mars episode on Wednesday at 9:00 so thanks to them.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. VIII

- Today is the nail in the coffin game for the Cards. If Brandon Backe can pull off some magic like he did last year when he shut down the Cards, then they would need to beat Pettitte, Oswalt, and Clemens in three straight games and with Walker, Sanders, and Nunez with one foot in the hospital, I really don’t see that happening.

- Speaking of Nunez going down, his replacement had the worst thrown I’ve ever seen since Rick Vaughn got glasses. Even Yao Ming wouldn’t have been able to catch that ally-oop with a ladder.

- Keeping with baseball I find it interesting that the elder Bush is not prominently shown during the Astro’s home games this playoff. Last year he and Barbra were right behind the plate and easily seen in every at bat. This year they are a little right of the plate with Barbra rarely getting in the picture. Do they have different seats this year? Did Fox change their camera angle last year for a subliminal advertising for his son down the campaign stretch?

- And I am glad I finally agree with the party of my youth, the Republicans, once again, Harriet Meiers is a horrible choose. Picking someone who ran gambling commission to a seat to the Supreme Court is like electing a cocaine addict as a president. And ripping Meiers in not sexist, every nominee goes through the ringer, not doing it to her would be sexist.

- On Tuesday look out for the review of the most anticipated album of the fall, Ashlee Simpson's I Am Me. Granted that is meant to be a joke, but looking at the list of albums slated for the next couple month's only Santana's latest star-studded peeks my interest. Of course the record indistry will instead blame downloaders on the poor sales that will likely happen instead of realizing that they are putting out a bad product.

- Search item of the week - cartoons making fun of homosexuals (Yahoo)

- Here are some hints for the remaining lyrics quiz (scroll down for the quiz itself)

2. If you dressed up like the song title, you will be dressing much like the artist, braided hair, guns, and some sticky-icky.

11. A couple of people have guessed the band but if you dress like the song title you most likely chaps and a 10-gallon hat. Oscars might make a good accessory too.

12. This real person who if you want to dress like, you would have a feather and a pipe on you.

17. Much like the costume at number 11, you would want a gun and hat. If you wanted to dress like the artist, not showering for a month should do it.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. VII

I mentioned a while back that Kanye West’s remix (with Jay-Z) to the song Diamond (From Sierra Leone) and how it talked about the atrocities that happen just to bring your bling to the US (Throw Up Your Diamonds Like You’re Bulimic). If you haven’t read that already, I highly recommend it. Also if you were interesting to hear the song for yourself, the remix is now currently available on iTunes. I can’t recommend this song enough.

After week of doing insane stunk after insane stunt, Tom Cruise have finally did something of importance, he pissed off the French. It was reported recently the Cruise is no long welcome in the country. Welcome back to humanity Tom.

There was a lot of backlash with John McCain appearing in the R-rated movie, Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. One reporter even printed a title reading “Sen. McCain stars in ‘boob raunch fest.’” McCain responded by saying, “In Washington, I work with boobs everyday.” He even seemed more upset that he appeared in the same movie as James Carville than with a bunch of boobs. So all the prudes out there that think this is a bad thing, relax, and go see the movie because it’s hilarious. Not to mention, McCain gave his entire paycheck from the film to charity.

Speaking of boob raunch fest, it looks like Mike Tyson is looking at getting into porn. He has already contacted Jenna Jemison’s production company. Just when you think Tyson couldn’t get any more entertaining, he always seems to out do himself.

Much like me, it seems like the original Cooter from Dukes of Hazzard wants you to boycott the new movie. Now I think people should boycott the movie because it doesn’t star John Schneider and Tom Wopat. Cooter on the other hand doen’t want people to see it because Hollywood is sleezing up a “family show.” I was unaware that rasist imagry, short shorts, and dudes named Cooter qualify as family entertainment. Does he even know what Cooter means? But it looks like family values to Cooter (at right) is having girls that could be you daughter rub up against you.

It appears that Hilary 2008 is in full swing when the Senator attacked Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas for having a hidden scene with a naked woman. So let me get this straight, in the Clinton household, dudes blowing each other up with rocket launchers – O.K. Naked pixilated women – bad.

Weird search of the week:
arab chick stereotypes forums (AOL)

Here are the results of the Live 8 Lyrics Quiz that were not guessed:

13. She couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter Alexis. (All Falls Down – Kanye West)
18. I can’t wait for the first time. My imagination is running wild. (You Don’t Know My Name – Alicia Keys)
20. You’re talking so much sex, but you’re not telling us about AIDS. (It Takes More – Ms. Dynamite)
23. She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie. (Then She Bit Me – DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince)

Congratulations to Pure Mood for make the most correct answers (4). Since this was fairly successful, I will be bringing back a new lyrics quiz with a new theme on the 15th of every month. I have also put up a winner’s circle in the margin so be sure to come back each month (or just come back everyday) to try your hand at the new lyrics quiz.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. VI

Found this over on Moxiegrrrl's website and can’t wait to get my hands on it. Although I can’t seem to find it for pre-order over at the Microsoft Store.

- I have tried to avoid commenting or even watching/reading about the Michael Jackson trial because I find no humor in a child molestation trail. Well that was until Triumph the Insult Comic Dog went to the trial. Check it out for yourself.

- I received my latest Rolling Stone magazine yesterday. Well the problem is actually I didn’t, what I did receive was the cover, and just the cover, in a plastic bag with a note from the United States Postal Service for damaging my mail. Umm, you didn’t damage my mail; you didn’t send me my mail. Damage would be ripping a page (which they have done before), you didn’t sent and entire issue. And to make things worse, they lost a double issue. So if anyone wants the Rolling Stone with Jessica Alba on the cover, shout me a holla dogg.

- Today is a sad day here on the 9^th Green as the pin has been lowered at half mast as one of my favorite whipping boys has reportedly decided to retire. Yes I’m referring to the great white hope from BYU, Shawn Bradley. Bradley must hold the record for appearing on the most number of posters in NBA history and he did it without ever being the focus of the poster. In honor of Bradley’s retirement, I must break out NBA Jam Extreme one more time for a classic Big Head Bradley vs. Big Head Muresan one more time.

- Weird Search(es) of the week:
rachael mcgavin from the notebook (Google)
hat does ryan gosling think about rachel mcadams kiss? (Google)

When did I become the authority on all things The Notebook? And these are just the tip of the iceberg as I picked out the most interesting ones, and no, I didn’t copy them wrong, that’s the searchers’ mistakes. Sadly, putting these her will most like only increase The Notebook volume to the 9^th Green.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. V

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Musings From the Back 9 vol. IV

- Tonight is the greatest event in all of sports: the NBA Draft Lottery. Yeah it's rigged but it's always interesting to see who shows up for their respective teams. Will Kobe show up? LeBron? Will Spike Lee be the Knicks' representative? One thing for sure is that Elgin Baylor will be there for the 91^st time. Check out the Sports Guy's take on the event: Lottery Ticket.

- It was just announced that Wicked Wisdom has joined the roster of this year's Ozzfest. Now that might not be newsworthy until you find out that Wicked Wisdom is actually a Christian metal band... whose lead singer happens to be Jada Pickett Smith. Yes that is Mrs. Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I think Vegas has the line set at three shows before she quits.

- Apparently the latest trend to sweep the nation is Movieoke. And it's pretty much what you think it is, karaoke with movies. Great, sign me up. I can't wait until I go, "You little son of a (expletive deleted) ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE (expletive deleted) BALL!" or "O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this (expletive deleted) who's a regular (expletive deleted) machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, (a lot of expletive deleteds). Then one day she meets this John Holmes (expletive deleted) and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape, he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious (expletive deleted) action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her (expletive deleted) should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat (expletive deleted) her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a (expletive deleted) machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, Like a Virgin." in front of a bunch of drunks. And one can hope the Fox in the future will follow up American Karaoke with American Movieoke. (Free plugs to anyone who can name one or both movie quotes. Leave your guesses in the comment section.)

- Natalie Portman has apparently came down with a case of the Sinéad O'Connor disease. It seems that she cut off her hair for a prison movie that she is doing. I was unaware that they shaved women's hair in prison, but oh well. Maybe if she was playing a cancer survivor, I'd understand the look, but not a prison inmate. This new hairstyle has dropped Portman out of my top 5. So now I will have to make an exhausting search to join Kate Bosworth, Natalie Coughlin, and the token hot chicks from Smallville and Lost. Any TV executive interested in a new reality show idea?


- Keeping with the Star Wars theme, it seems that a lot of people are drawing comparisons between Darth Vader and George W. Bush. God bless stupid people. In this scenario wouldn't that make George W. Luke Skywalker and George H.W. Bush Darth Vader? That would be backwards because George H.W. Bush was a good president and George W. Bush is the evil one. For more on this lunacy check out The Empire Strikes Bush.

- Is it just me or did the dude from Coldplay look like Schroeder from Peanuts on Saturday Night Live when he was at the piano?

- Speaking of SNL, how many more times does Horatio Sanz get to forget a line or go out of character before he gets fired? Does he have something over Loren Michaels? Does Michaels keep him on because if he gave Sanz the boot then he would have to find a token fat guy and a token Hispanic dude?

- Now I didn't watch it, and I hope none of you watched it, but I hope child welfare workers watched Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.

- There is nothing more depressing than knowing the one of the back up lip-syncers in *NSYNC actually dated #1 on Maxim’s Top 100 list I and haven’t. Shouldn’t dating a boy bander, by virtue, drop you a few notches anyways?


- It’s never a good sign when a pitcher on fantasy team gets tennis elbow from spending four hours a day e-mailing his brother. Hey, Carlos Zambrano, it’s called a telephone; I think you can afford the long distance charge. But I guess it’s my fault drafting a pitcher that is coached by Dusty Baker.

- A couple of weeks ago, it was reported that the armed forces came up way short on recruitment goal, and those enrollment may go lower. Patrick Tillman’s family is blasting the US military for giving covered up the investigation into Tillman’s death in Afghanistan. They also accuse the military of created a heroic tale about how Pat died in hopes of garnishing a patriotic response. This brings to mind Jessica Lynch who became a national hero just by being rescued. I remembered the military that rescued Jessica refuse to use a key that an Iraqi offered them because knocking the door down made a better story. It’s sad that it took ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on Sunday to honor the true hero of that story, Lori Piestewa who gave her life in Iraq. For more on the Pat Tillman story, check out Tillman’s parents lash out at Army.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. III

- Is there anything more annoying than the person who stands in the same place in the supermarket for minutes at a time blocking you from the Ho-Ho's that would take you a second to pick up?

- All video game nerds need to check out this movie. Warning, pop some popcorn, this is going to take awhile: PSP vs. Everyone

- Jeb Bush, with the NRA by his side, recently passed the "fight force with force" law. Great. I can't wait on my next vacation to accidentally bump into a native only for him to pull out an AK and put more holes in me than Swiss cheese. I guess Jeb isn’t a Christian like his brother because true Christians turn the other cheek. Wait, George doesn’t really turn the other cheek much either. For more on this story check out - Law Lets Floridians `Meet Force With Force'

- Sticking with the armpit of America, Florida officials said that a fourteen orphan is not mature enough to have an abortion. Great rational until some one asks, "is a fourteen year old mature enough to have a baby."

- With the last two items, one has to wonder what is going on down in Florida? Add to the list Shivo, Elian Gonzalez, voter fraud, girls gone wild, hurricanes. What was the one constant for all of this? Yeah, you guessed it, Jeb Bush. I'm not into conspiracy theories, but I have a feeling there might be a correlation. (I guess conspiracy theories aren’t that bad when I'm the one to start them.)

- The most interesting aspect of the Runaway Bride episode is, aside it surprisingly has nothing to do with Florida, is that the bride said her kidnappers were Hispanic. Fake assailants were typically reserved for African Americans, but this is what happens when you become the largest minority. So congratulation Hispanics, you have become the biggest target for racism.

- I recently have seen a slew of teenagers wears shirt that read, "Don't blame me, blame my parents." How do they get away with wearing this? Do these kids actually do their own laundry because I know from experience that I never saw my "Just Do Me" shirt again after the first time I put in the laundry bin.



- I'm sure that everyone has seen this picture by now. Bushites people have explain that it is a custom in Saudi Arabia. But Bush is not Arab, he's American. And in America, when two dudes hold hands, they are considered gay homosexuals. And Howard Dean wanted to be the first gay President. I guess you are too late Mr. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

- So Kellen Winslow might have a torn ACL and be out for another season. Thanks Butch Davis. So we wasted a first round and a second round pick for a moron who was so willing to ignore his contract. And what was he doing at Cuyahoga Community College? If you are going to something stupid, at least do it at a real college.

- Dave Matthews Band week starts in two day. For those that want an early jump, VH1 is streaming their new album Stand Up.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. II

- My fantasy basketball team, Shawn Kemp's Revenge, came in second this season behind Boom Pow Surprise! Not bad for some one who just recently found out that they are now six divisions in the NBA.

- You know it's officially Spring when Ohio's state flower, the Orange Barrel, starts to sprout on highways.

- If a girl wears a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt and refuses to make out with you, can you sue her for false advertising?

- Am I the only one who was disappointed when the Nationals unveiled their new mascot, Screech, and Dustin Diamond didn't come out of the egg?

- What I can't understand is how ABC let a cable channel that it owns outbid itself for the rights to Monday Night Football? You don't see Bravo outbidding NBC for the rights to The Tonight Show. What's next, is ABC going to lose Desperate Housewives to ABCFamily? And is there anyplace where I can put money on John Madden jumping to NBC's Sunday Night game instead of moving to ESPN?

- A couple weeks ago, I lusted over the token hot chick in the Pepsi/iTunes commercial and after an exhausting search it turns out she actually has a name: Mandy Amano.

- So Tom DeLay's excuse for taking improper donation is "everyone else does it." Is this guy in Middle School? It's time to get rid of him and I have no problem if he takes down "everyone else" with him.

- New Dave Matthews Band video, American Baby, premiered this week. Decent song with a cool cross-section of the real American population that goes beyond Red State/Blue State. Check back in early May for a special Dave Matthews Band week to commemorate the release of their new album, Stand Up, culminating in a review of the new album as DMB is a rare life time member of the First Day Club.



- It's not a new Star Wars movie time until Lucas finds a new way to pimp the franchise. Although the Cingular Ring Tone ads with Chewbacca are brilliant. Hopefully we get to see more recording sessions. A side note, check back May 12th for another special week, this time for Star Wars.

- A while back I reported on the NFL's list of names you cannot put on the back of jerseys. It seems that weeks after lifting the ban on "Gay" (which made sense considering they have a few player with that last name), they have finally found a name to fill "Gay's" spot, Ron Mexico. The ban was prompted after a slew of requests for "Mexico" on the back of Falcons' jersey #7. Some got a chuckle out of that they other might want to make a Google search (check the top left potion of the page).

- After constantly listening to the Ben Folds cover of Dr. Dre's (expletive deleted) Ain't (expletive deleted) I got to wondering, if I were a sensitive singer-songwriter, what gangsta rap song would I cover? After an extensive search through my massive gangsta rap library, I would have to go with The Ghetto Boys' Mind Playing Tricks On Me. Now that's some real conversation for your (expletive deleted).

Musings From the Back 9

I found this over at He Says, She Says and had to take the test myself. Must be a very scientific test if I end up being my boy, Indiana Jones.


:: how jedi are you? ::
Some other musings that don't deserve their own place:

- Why is everyone knocking Tiger Woods for putting off the green and Billy Casper for dropping a 105 at the Masters? Don't those happen all the time (or is it just me)?

- I was checking out the status of my new name (yes I'm conceited, so what) and found out that there is another Scooter McGavin who started a petition to legalize a certain banned substance and I'm not referring to the cream or the clear. And to top things off, the petition is being sent to the government. Why don't they just send a letter to the government asking to be arrested? Morons.

- Am I the only one who was mad when they realized Fair Enough was not really an upcoming sitcom. I first saw the ad on Fox, so I was convince that it was real. This would have instantly been the second best sitcom next to Arrested Development.

- I passed on Sin City this weekend and last after picking up a promo DVD at Best Buy that had three scenes and a couple of documentaries. It looks like the film will look great visually but the plot seems a little slow and fits better as a comic book graphic novel than a movie. Although I can almost guarantee that I'll take a look at it when the DVD comes out. (Also keep in mind that it not too visually groundbreaking either as Boyz II Men did the back and white with drops of color almost 15 years ago in the It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday video.)

- Another movie I won't be seeing this weekend, or ever for that matter is Fever Pitch. Any male who is seen coming out of this movie should have his Man Card promptly revoked.

- Stat of the day: Roger Clemens is 3 for 3 with the bases loaded and batting .333 with runners in scoring position. Granted his batting average will be raised after yesterdays game when, after the Reds intentionally walking Willy Taveras and letting him steal second, Clemens batted in two runs on an infield hit. This turned out to be the game winner as the Astros won 3-2.

- Big Head Barry Update: He is currently rehabbing with BALCO's own Greg Anderson whom Big Head Barry referred to as a "wonderful person, a very, very giving person." The problem, Big Head Barry, is when what the person is giving you happens to be an illegal substance, that is not a good thing. It's quality over quantity that counts, Barry.