I Want My Music Television: 5/28/15

She's Not Me Jenny Lewis


It would be hard for Jenny Lewis to follow up Just One of the Guys, but it looks like she did just that with her new video, this time recruiting SNL vets Vanessa Bayer and Fred Armison along with fellow singer-songwriter Fiest to poke fun as Lewis's time as a child star when she guested on Golden Girls and starred in movies like Troop Beverly Hills and the video game championship epic The Wizard starring Fred Savage (which begs the question where is the reboot starring Luke Dunfey as Fred's son? Actually why is Boy Meets World the only reboot in the Savage clan? Where are the reboots to The Princess Bride, Vice Versa, or Little Monsters?)

1,2 1,2 - Raekwon featuring Snoop Dogg


After some embarrassingly bad years it is weird hearing Snoop Dogg on an actual hot track.  There is one that is kind of good that was also released on his album out last week (the embarrassingly titled Bush) but it is not nearly as hot as this song with Raekwon with its nineties remix posse vibe for the video.

California Roll - Snoop Dogg featuring Stevie Wonder


As for the previously mentioned Snoop Dogg, this is probably the best song off of the new album except that I would actually would like the song much more if the song was just Pharrell and Stevie Wonder instead. And is this video supposed to be a tie in to Tomorrowland?

Photograph - Ed Sheeran


Ed Sheeran does not really like being in his own music videos (Think Out Loud being the lone exception), it is weird to see he really mugged for the camera as a child.

I Want My Music Television: 5/20/15

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar


The build up to the new Taylor Swift music video ended up being more entertaining than the video itself. It ended up looking like a movie trailer with an endless cast who only gets three seconds of screen time each. And I feel bad for Selena Gomez, Taylor gets backed by all her friends while Selena just gets faceless drones. Of all the cameos, couldn't Taylor throw Selena one or two friends?


Feel Right - Mark Ronson featuring Mystikal


I have said this before, but casting children for your stand in for a music video always works. Thank you Mark Ronson, and an extra thank you to mini-Mystikal.


Crystals - Of Monsters and Men


In this week's installment of Adventures in One Hit Wonderdom, Of Monsters and Men had a surprised hit three years ago with the ultra-catchy Little Talks. Everything else off the album failed to stick tin public consciousness and now is back with its sophomore album soon. The first single is kind of sleepy (I can see it in a bunch of winter trailers) but I do like the freaky music video.


Sparks - Hilary Duff


I am not sure I just watched a Hilary Duff music video or a Tinder commercial nor am I sure which would be worse. I do kind of want to like the song because it has been too long since there has been a great whistle breakdown in a song, but unfortunately this just is not a good song either

I Want My Music Television: 4/21/15

American Oxygen - Rihanna


Before I even heard the new Rihanna song (I had to wait because, though I may subscribe to a streaming music site one day, it certainly will not be Tidal where the song had its exclusive premiere) I read an interview with the song's songwriter who cited Born In the U.S.A. This piqued my interest because the Bruce Springsteen song on its surface sounds like a jingoistic anthem, is really dark condemnation of the Vietnam War. Of course Springsteen can bring up darker moments in our history coming from New Jersey, Rihanna, a pop singer from Barbados may be a harder sale. Not only are the lyrics of American Oxygen touch on hardships of the nation, the video double downs on this spanning from the Klan to Eric Garner. But the songs's worst crime is that it just is not very good. But personally I cannot wait until some Republican mistakes the lyrics and using it in their 2016 campaign the way Reagan try to co-opt Born in the U.S.A. I predict Rand Paul.

Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy


Babe of the nineties are really having a moment, first Michelle Pheiffer gets a shout out from Bruno Mars in the biggest song of the year, now Fall Out Boy has devoted an entire song to her Pulp Fiction dance. This makes me wonder what Kathy Ireland is up to these days. The video is sort of entertaining in a Up For Anything Bud Light commercial kind of way that get tiring easily.

Still Want You - Brandon Flowers


Last month Brandon Flowers released his first single off his sophomore album which was met with a resounding yawn and general, so when is the next The Killers album coming? I do actually kind of like the new single even if it is a bit on the cheesy eighties side of things (the music video only makes it cheesier). It is probably his best solo song yet. Still, I would rather have another Killers album instead.

Catch in the Dark - Passenger


In this week's installment of One Hit Wonder Watch, Passenger had a surprise hit two years ago with the sleepy Let Her Go in a time when radio was only play annoyingly upbeat songs. He followed that up with a faux rap song in the style of Ed Sheeran that failed to gain any steam. He is back with another sleepy song off his second album since the one featuring Let Her Go, but Catch in the Dark lack the instantly recognizable hook that Let Her Go had so it looks like Passenger will be saying in One Hit Wonderdom for a bit longer.

I Want My Music Television: 4/9/15

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar


For Kendrick Lamar's first album I have it a one word review: meh. I do like his follow up a little more by the deep jazz drive runs a little long but I did do not get all the love as if he is raps Beatles (who themselves are the most overrated band ever. King Kunta was one of my more favorite songs off the new album though I do not sure if the video meant to be a throw back or if it was just filmed on an iPhone.

The Night We Called it a Day - Bob Dylan


God bless Bob Dylan, the guy clearly does not care, widely regarded as one of the greatest songwriter of all time, releases a Sinatra cover album (with a second one that may come out soon). Then you have the first music video, a noir silent movie type short film with Bob in it barely acting. God bless you Bob, may you stay forever young.

I'll Be There - Chic


Riding high off his participation on Get Lucky, Nile Rodgers has reunited with Chic and released a song with a bassline reminiscent of the biggest hit Good Time and even references another of their songs Everybody Dance. For googling purposes, that is model and Taylor Swift buddy Karlie Kloss who provides the dancing in the video.


Sorry


It seems like no one is allowed to be as raw has Meg Myers these days for better or worse. If there were a music video station around to put it in heavy rotation, Desire could have been a new millennium Criminal. Her new music video also give off the same vibe as it is from a time when music videos seemed to actually matter.

I Want My Music Television: 4/1/15

Can't Deny My Love - Brandon Flowers



Brandon Flowers first solo album was met with a resounding yawn. After an album back with The Killers, he is giving going alone another try and the first single may actually be worse than the songs from the first. And no unnecessary dialogue with Rachel Evan Wood is going to save the music video either.

St. Jude - Florence + the Machine


Florence + the Machine have already released three music videos for thier upcoming album and this song may be my favorite of the best because it is the rare song where Florence does not seem to be singing at 10 the entire song. And just like the other videos they have released, this one is kind of weird, not dancing with your doppelganger weird, but weird nonetheless in a why is the Smoke Monster in the video kind of way.

Peaches N Cream - Snoop Dogg featuring Charlie Wilson


Well it looks like the Snoop Lion era is thankfully over. But then again, Snoop Dogg really has not had many great songs since Drop it Like it's Hot. But like that song, this song was produced by Pharrell. But now I have to wonder, what was the last great song Pharrell was a part of? It certainly not this song. Didn't some crappy third tier RnB group from the nineties already have a crappy song called Peaches and Cream?

Work Song - Hozier


It looks like Hozier is going with the spaghetti approach (throw a bunch at the wall hoping one sticks) in hoping to land a second hit releasing his third music video in as many months this year. Doubtful this will be the one that lifts him out of one hit wonderdom especially since this one does not feature any hot chicks from Game of Thrones, just a bunch of weird people dancing.

I Want My Music Television: 3/26/15

Famous - Charli XCX


Last year YouYube created their own award show which was widely panned as being unnecessary. Of course that did not stop them from doing another one. But they did change things up this time around. Instead of creating live music videos at the last awards and handing out fan voted awards, the winners got their own music videos as an honor, or at least I think, it is kind of hard figuring out what is actually going on with the YTMA's. All I know is because of it we get a new Charli XCX music video, a creepy-fun ode to our devotion to our mobile devises. I do wonder if having to watch an ad to get into a room is a not so subtle dig at the ads in front of YouTube videos.

Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran featuring Rudimental


Ed Sheeran also got the YouTube Music Award music video treatment but where Charli got a bunch of mobile zombies, Ed get Ray Liotta. So maybe not all YouTube Awards are treated equal. Is Ray playing old Ed? Am I supposed to think of Taylor Swift's Blank Space while watching (it takes place in a mansion, there is a random horse for no apparent reason, destruction of property). Whatever the case, the YTMA's are still pretty unnecessary.

Nobody Love - Tori Kelly


As a pretentious music blogger I have an image to uphold only only like the greatest most snobby music being made, but even us pretentious music bloggers have our guilty pleasures (Ariana Grande) and songs we like semi-ironically (Teenage Dream). Now I know this Tori Kelly song is not good, the singing like a baby girl in the pre-chorus is kind of embarrassing, there is an unnecessary Mariah Carey type vocal gymnastic as if she were trying out for some crappy karaoke show. But I have to admit it does not suck massively either. The verses give off a cool eighties RnB vibe to it like it could have been a hit for The Jets (which begs the question, whatever happened to The Jets?) three decades ago and following the unnecessary vocal gymnastic is a pretty awesome horn breakdown. Now I need to decide on whether this song deserves to be filed away in my guilty pleasure folder or like ironically.

Lampshade om Fire - Modest Mouse


Pretentious blogger confession number two: I have never been much of a fan of Modest Mouse. With that said, I do kind of like their new song (I really like the line, "this is what I really call a party now" line, but a party never really starts until someone starts fire to a lampshade and wild, ADD inducing new music video.

I Want My Music Television: 3/12/15

Dearly Departed - Shakey Graves featuring Esmé Patterson


This song was one of my favorite songs of last year (it made the top fifteen on my list of the 100 Best Songs of 2015) and Shakey Graves has finally released a music video for the song which looks like it would make an awesome pitch for a Dead Like Me reboot (which he could actually star in as he played The Swede on Friday Night Lights). The video also answers the question, whatever happened to Schuyler Fisk? Orange County should have been her and Colin Hank's big break, but he ended up not being the next his father while she completely dropped off the map. Of course this means she would be available for my proposed Dead Like Me reboot.

Somebody New - Hozier


Why exactly did Hozier cast the hot chick from Game of Thrones to make out with everyone in his music video except him? That is rock star 101: 1) get a hit song, 2) cast hot chicks to make out with you in your music videos. Considering he is on One Hit Wonder watch (of which this song will not get him out of), this was a really bad missed opportunity.

I Really Like You - Carly Rae Jepsen


Speaking of One Hit Wonder watch (and Tom Hank!!!), Carly Rae Jepsen is a trick case because you can argue that she had a second hit in Good Time, but that was technically an Own City, she was just featured. Using that logic, you could call Trey Lorenz a one hit wonder, which no one does. I really do not seeing this song making that argument moot because it comes across as a cheap and blatant attempt to make a more romantic version of We Are Never Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together, unless of course the video goes viral because who does not want to see Tom Hanks dance over and over again? Mmmm, that may actually work, curse you Carly Rae.

I Want You To Know - Zedd featuring Selena Gomez


Remember a couple years ago when someone caught Ryan Tedder giving Beyoncé, Kelly Clarkson, and a couple other singers the exact same backing track? Are we sure Zedd is not doing the same thing because every single one of his songs sound the same, the only thing that changes are the singers. Really, pretty much all the EDM-pop hybrids sound exactly the same, Zedd and Calvin Harris could very well be the exact same person but since they hide behind DJ tables, no one bothered to check. I would not be surprised if we learn that Calvin created Zedd so he could be at two shows at once so he could get double the money.

I Want My Music Television: 3/2/15

Every Moment - Jodeci


I feel bad for anyone under twenty because they have not lived in a world where there was great RnB music being made. The nineties was the last great era of the genre and since then there have been good albums but Alicia Keys and John Legend, but not that much else. The best RnB album of the nineties was Diary of a Mad Band by Jodeci. The group released one more album after that before splitting. It has been twenty years since that last album and now the boys are back to show these youngin's how its done. Sure Every Moment is not great, no one at this point wants to see a music video set in the snow, and K-Ci is slowing morphing into a Dave Chappelle, but mediocre Jodeci is better than no Jodeci and much better than pretty much everything else that passes as RnB this millennium.

From Eden - Hozier


One of my favorite pastimes is checking out a follow up single from a newly minted pop star and debate with myself if the new song can lift them out of one hit wonderdom. 2014 was a weak year for new artists. You had Sam Smith but he quickly got a second hit. Same for Meghan Trainor and Iggy Azalea (though I do wonder if history views them like Vanilla Ice, someone who had a legitimate second hit, but some still think of him as a one hit wonder). The only new artist that is still looking for that elusive second hit is From Eden - Hozier. Listening to his debut album, I did not hear a second hit, but hearing From Eden (dude loves his religious metaphors) outside the context of the album, and I do think it has some potential, though ultimately think it will not make much of a dent on the pop charts. The music video is kind of interesting, we have seen the Bonny and Clyde motif many times before, but this is the first time a kids was involved, well, if you do not count Raising Arizona.

Fly - Maddie and Tae


Though they never crossed over, I guess you could also call Maddie and Tae a country one hit wonder from 2014. And they are kind of the trickiest of one hit wonders as Girl in a Country Song was essentially a novelty song bordering on a "Weird Al" Yankovic type style parody of the bro-country movement. But it is not an impossible stigma to shed: look at Beck, from Loser, a one hit wonder if I have ever heard one, and two decades later he collected an Album of the Year Grammy. But where Beck pushed the boundaries of music on his Loser follow up, Fly pretty much sounds like a sound Martina McBride could have sung back when Beck was starting out.

Nothing Without Love - Nate Ruess


Fun. also quickly exited one hit wonderdom back in 2012, but could they end up in the elusive one album wonder category with all their hit off the same LP. Guitarist Jack Antonoff released a side project last year (oh yeah, Bleachers is another act from last year on Wonder Watch), and now another member is going solo but Nate Ruess was quick to note the band has not broken up when announcing his solo work. Smart move because Nothing Without Love sound like Nate is destined for no hit wonder territory alongside the lead singer of The Killers the members of Blink-182 and Fall Out Boy. The song sound like a middling, non-single Fun. track.

I Want My Music Television: 2/23/15

One Last Time - Ariana Grande


Admission time: I kind of actually like Ariana Grande. One giant drawback is that everyone she collaborates with pretty much sucks massively sans The Weeknd, but I still think that song would be better without him. Finally Grande has released a song without any features as a single (I may have went with Why Try instead). Much like the song, the video is cheesy fun even if I am not entirely sure if that was the director's intention. Speaking of the director who is credited as Max Landis, is he at all related to John Landis, director of possibly the most famous music video of all time: Thiller?

Time Machine - Ingrid Michaelson


Sure Fiona Apple and Zach Galifianakis pretty much did this exact video and did it better a couple years ago (and there are three people in the video I do not even recognize; the dude on the beach and the golfers), but Ingrid Michaelson's indignation every time someone starts singing in her place is still pretty entertaining.

Irresistible - Fall Out Boy


Speaking of video concepts that were done earlier and better, the new Fall Out Boy video reminds me of Hootie and the Blowfish's Only Wanna Be With You but with the ESPN anchors.

Black Bat Licorice - Jack White


Jack White has been making novelty vinyls for years not it is surprising he has not made a novelty music video until now where Black Bat Licorice is three interactive music videos in one which you can watch over at JackWhiteIII.com. Since that is not embeddable, I though I would share this live performance of the song featuring Q-Tip. Yes you read that right.

I Want My Music Television: 2/17/15

Style - Taylor Swift


When you listen to Taylor Swift, her lyrics are so direct and to the point, you can see the music video play out in front of you, and when she finally puts her own visuals to her music, it is pretty much what you expect it to be as they are usually acted out versions of her lyrics. This is the first time that I can think of that Taylor went very abstract with her music video which look like something you would expect to have seem on 120 Minutes (well if she would have wore less stylish clothes and pick a less attractive co-star) instead of TRL.

Black Son - Death Cab for Cutie


Death Cab for Cutie announced their new album along with the departure of guitarist Chris Walla, usually credited with creating the sound of the band though he still contributed to most of the album. Their first song since comes off as a little more menacing than anything the band has done before. If Codes and Keys was about Ben Gibbard's dissolving marriage, is this another album of something breaking up? I am not optimistic it will be better just from the first single.

Pray to God - Calvin Harris featuring Haim`


I was a big fan of Haim's first album, but I really do not need a crappy EDM / Calvin Harris version of their music. Much like I was hoping (and got) an acoustic Aloe Blacc version of Wake Me Up, I do kind of want to hear Haim play this song by themselves. And maybe they can do it without the coven outfits and random animals.

Champagne Kisses - Jessie Ware


I wanted to like Jessie Ware's first album more than I actually did but her sophomore outing was a vast improvement (Say You Love Me cracked the top ten of my 100 Greatest Songs of 2014), the latest single is alright but the video is messing with my mind. I really want whatever that director was taking.

I Want My Music Television: 2/11/15

Only One - Kanye West featuring Paul McCartney



FourFiveSeconds - Rihanna and Kanye West and Paul McCartney


Kanye West christened the new year with a surprised song that featuring instrumentation from Beatle Paul McCartney. The duo then pulled in Rihanna for their next collaboration on a song presumably for her album. I cannot say I was that impressed by either. Only One sounds like a more uplifting version of a song off of 808's an Heartbreaks (my least favorite Kanye record) while FourFiveSeconds sounds just like Stay but with a singular acoustic guitar instead of a piano. Meh to both.


Doing It - Charli XCX featuring Rita Ora


Charli XCX is this bizarrely fun mix of early nineties grunge mixed with late nineties bubblegum pop. Her first album was a bit of a mess in a British version of Ke$ha kind of way. She ironed thing out for her sophomore effort which is a vast improvement. One of the catchier songs on the bubblegum end of the spectrum was Doing It. I jut d not understand why she added Rita Ora to the track who ended up being an even more unnecessary part of the music video that the fat dude in a Speedo.


Lay Me Down - Sam Smith


When someone took Hozier's Take Me to Church and inserted images of homosexual Russians being hunted down and killed in stark black and white and uploaded it to YouTube; Hozier saw it and just made it the official music video. Watching the new Sam Smith video makes me think this pitch could had been perfect for the Hozier song had he had done a more proper music video for Take Me to Church. As for the actual Sam Smith song that does accompany the video, much like the rest of his songs, it is kind of a bore.


Straight Outta Compton Red Band Trailer


That intro is a little silly, but I guess for anyone under twenty-five, they may not even know that that dude from the Are We There Yet movies and the guy who sells Beats Headphones were actually rappers at one point. Usually I stay away from bio-flick (I would rather listen to the music or watch a documentary; surprisingly there was never a N.W.A. episode of Behind the Music though Dr. Dre and Ice Cube got individual ones), but I have to admit this trailer got me a little excited for the movie.

I Want My Music Television: 8/4/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Heart Is a Drum - Beck


Beck’s latest album is a bit of a downer, but that does not mean he cannot still get a little weird in his music video for a song off the album. And it may not get more trippy than seeing current day Beck walk with his “Loser” self and other images from his very first music video from over two decades ago.


Rollin' and Tumblin' - The Gaslight Anthem


I am not sure if the chicks in the black leotards in the new The Gaslight Anthem video are supposed to be a warped homage to the Single Ladies video, but I am just going to ignorantly go ahead and believe so.


Electric Lady – Janelle Monáe


Do we really such a blatant commercial for some picture taking watch at the start of the video? As someone who proudly had a calculator watch, I do not see anyone buying that. I was under the impression the only people who still wear watches are douchebags who think flashing a Rolex will impress people. The only new product from the Janelle Monáe video I would think about buying is the singing wall pictures. I would take a Kimbra one when or if it hits the market. Maybe a T-Boz one too if they are cheap.


Did We Live Too Fast - Got A Girl


Love Mary Elizabeth Winstead and her new group with Dan the Automator, Got a Girl, is good enough, but their first video just comes off like a bad rejected Twilight Zone episode.

I Want My Music Television: 7/28/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


URL Badman – Lily Allen


URL Badman was probably my least favorite song on the new Lily Allen album. As a wise man once said, you never beef down an d Lily going after lowly bloggers should be beneath her at this point. This is way I liked the more grown up Lily on Sheezus. But this may be the best music video with those freaky special effects.


Do You – Spoon


I am always fascinating with one-shot music video and the new Spoon one was looking like it was going to be one of the more boring ones (slow-mo also seems like creating in one shots). Then the Godzilla sized toddlers showed up at the end. Awesome.


Oblivion - Bastille


Who knew Sansa Stark could sing? Okay it is not the best song in the world. Bastille is pulling out the big guns in hopes of not being relegated to one hit wonder bin. I am not sure it will work, should have held out for Arya, but she is probably holding out for Coldplay to be in a brit-pop-rock music video.


Girl in a Country Song – Maddie and Tae


Country radio has never been that intellectually stimulating, but last year it came to a head at just how mind numbingly clichéd at just how the genre got when someone made a video how every hit talked about trucks, dirt roads to river beds at sunset, beer, and of course girls named “girl” in tight blue jeans (see Why Country Music Was Awful in 2013). To give you a sense of just how much Bro Country has taken control of country radio, there has not been a female to top the Billboard Country Airplay Chart by herself since November 2012 when Carrie Underwood did that (female featuring groups like The Band Perry and Lady Antebellum have topped the chart in the interim). Well, it took seven months after that video exposed all the clichés but the Bro Country backlash is finally starting. First in line are newcomers Maddie and Tae taking aim at the biggest country singers like Blake Shelton and Florida Georgia Line, not so subtlety referencing Bro Country’s biggest hits in their Girl in a Country Song. The song and video are fun, but not all together great or probably a game changer. But in its second week it did move up to number 45 on the Country Airplay chart.

I Want My Music Videos: "Weird Al" Yankovic Edition

When Beyoncé air dropped her album before Christmas I wondered what artists could also do the same with some sort of success. Taylor Swift and Adele first came to mind (the latter of which is rumoured to be doing just that this fall) followed by a few rapper like Kanye West and Jay-Z (who both did limited roll outs last year). Who would have guess that “Weird Al” Yankovic would be the first to successfully pull it off? Okay, he did announced the album a month ago but did not give any preview tracks until the day before the release leading many of us to guess which songs he was parodying just by the song titles.

But this paid off as Mandatory Fun is looking like it could be Al’s first number one album ever (it is down to him and Jason Mraz) and his best selling week in the Soundscan era. Boosting these sales was Al’s new marketing plan of releasing eight new music videos over eight straight days starting last Monday. Since record labels do not have large budgets for videos ever since MTV started ignoring their first letter, he partnered up with various websites like Nerdist, Funny or Die, and, um, the Wall Street Journal to underwrite the videos to various degrees of success. So here are those eight videos ranked.


1. Word Crimes – Everyone has parodied Robin Thicke in the past years and each made fun of the video usually having haft naked dudes. Not Weird Al, of course he turns the song into an English class and of course the video is a lyric kind. Sure Al got some digs in at the video with the obnoxious hashtags and “Weird Al Yankovic has a big dictionary” but I liked the subtle two decade old dig at Alanis Morrisette.


2. Foil – A Lorde parody seemed obvious, the only question would be the subject. Apparently my guess of a Game of Thrones parody was a bit too on the nose, instead the parody turned out to be food adjacent. Well until Al take a sharp left with Al going the darkest he has ever gone after putting the tin foil hat on his head. And who did not have a sinking suspicion that Patton Oswalt was one of those secret lizard people from V?


3. Tacky – The video that started off the eight days of Al was also the most star studded with Aiesha Tyler, Margret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Kristen Schaal, and Jack Black all don their tackiest clothes in a one take shot version of the Pharrell video. Yes Al ran done five flights of stairs for each take for the video.


4. Handy – You really cannot parody the Fancy music video because you would essentially just be parodying Clueless, instead he went with the Schneider from One Day at a Time look. But hey, dancing plumbers will always be funny.

5. First World Problems - Al’s non-parodies this time around were not his best. This was probably the best I pretty much had three of them happen to me.

6. Sports Song

7. Lame Claim to Fame

8. Mission Statement

Bonus: Now That’s What I Call Polka: There was not an official video for the album’s polka (always a highlight for one of Yankovic’s records) but of course someone synced up the original with the Weird Al version and put it on YouTube.

I Want My Music Television: 7/21/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Angel in Blue Jeans - Train


Sure the new Train song kind of sucks in a jumping on the folk rock trend two years too late kind of way but if you are going to release a bad song you might as well pay Danny Trejo copious amounts of money to lip-sync your lyrics making an actual entertaining video. So congratulations to Train, you almost got me to almost like your crappy Mumford and Sons rip off simply by getting me to watch the music video multiple times.


You and I (Nobody in the World) – John Legend


Just when you think John Legend was going to release yet another music video based around his Sport Illustrated it turns into a very real look at the various types of women that populate the nation. It is empowering and heartbreaking at the same time. Seriously, if you did not break out crying at the breast cancer victim, you very well may not have a soul.


Try - Colbie Caillat


If that is not enough real women for you Colbie Caillat takes that John Legend idea one step further (to be fair, Try hit YouTube two days earlier and is exactly what the song is about; I just put You and I first because it is a much better song) as Colbie and another group of ethnically diverse strip themselves of all their numerous beauty products.


Mother and Father – Broods


We have hit that time a year when people start posting their silly half-year lists. One thing that stuck out to me on these lists is that music so far this year kind of sucked. Making things worse is that are not many good new artists. Around this time last year there were already great albums or EPs from Lorde, Haim, Kacey Musgraves, Daughter, and Chvrches. It is depressing to think Iggy Azalea is probably going to get a Best New Artist nomination basically there is no one else (granted since Ed Sheeran got nominated in the category last year, maybe Lorde will get nominated this year) even though she only has only been on two songs anyone cares about and is the worst part of both songs. Sure there have been a couple songs by new artists that have piqued my interest this year but I really not interested in full albums by Hozier, Bleachers, Jamie N Commons, or X Ambassadors (I have not even been bothered to see if the last two are the same act or two separate ones collaborating on Jungle; which is not to be confused with the new band Jungle that I do not really care for that much) but there is only one group that I am looking forward to hearing more from and that is Broods. They put out a solid EP earlier this year and next month they are releasing their debut album Evergreen (apparently it will not be released stateside until October but sometimes these foreign releases show up on Spotify here before we Americans can buy them). The first single from the album is actually better than anything on that original EP and shoots the album up my list of what may be a crowded most anticipated fall albums (even though many of the biggest names do not have a release date as of now).

I Want My Music Television: 6/30/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Somethin' Bad - Miranda Lambert with Carrie Underwood


I have long lamented the slow death of rock and roll and a while back I read someone who said rock and roll is not dying, it just moved to Nashville. They had a point because you will see a few lengthy guitar solos if you went to an Eric Church or Keith Urban concert not to mention ZZ Top and Lenny Kravitz opened up the last two CMA Awards. And take the new Miranda Lambert song which sounds like it could have been produced by eighties uber-hair metal producer Mutt Lang if he was listening to We Will Rock You too many times in a row.


Hayloft – Nickel Creek


When I reviewed the latest Nickel Creek album, I pointed out Hayloft because it was a weird danceable country dance song (and I meant that in a good way, not a Cotton Eye Joe kind of way). Now the song gets its own weird animated video to go along with it.


Kingdom - Common


I just started playing Watch Dogs (which is your basic Grant Theft Auto knockoff except instead of working for a drug kingpin you play a hacker) set in Chicago and it is interesting to see some of the same sights in the new Common video that I have traveling around virtually. Well at least into the prologue, I have get to travel to the ghetto yet nor I have run into a strip club yet which there are plenty of in Liberty City.


Jungle – X Ambassadors and Jamie n Commons


Tomorrow is the half way point of the year which means we will be inundated with silly half year lists (I have already seen a few). But these got me thinking, where are all the new artists? This point last year we had very good albums, or at the very least EP’s from Lorde, Kacey Musgraves, Haim, Daughter and Chvrches. Broods released a decent EP but that is pretty much it. It is depressing to think Iggy Azalea may get a Best New Artist Grammy nomination by default (granted if Ed Sheeran could get a nomination, then maybe Lorde will get one this year along with four others we would have never thought were eligible). Jungle may be my favorite song of the year so far by a new artist, but it does not really inspire me to check out anything else. Plus I am not entire sure who is most responsible for the song: X Ambassadors or Jamie N Commons (I would be more inclined to check out the dude with the long hair, not the frat boy with the backwards hat). But anyway. The song should be required to be played at every sporting event for the next decade or so (it is about time someone replace Gary Glitter, for more reasons than one) even though there is a World Cup inspired remix with an unnecessary verse from Jay-Z. But that video / advertisement for Beats by Dre does feature Luis Suárez who probably is not listening to Jungle, but instead Maneater by Hall and Oates.

I Want My Music Television: 6/25/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


A Sky Full of Stars – Coldplay


Coldplay is sometime considered U2-lite and this could very well be their I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. Except Bono is inherently cool and even this semi-ironic look at himself, Chris Martin comes across even less cool. But still, I still wish the video featured the live performance (aside from a honking horn) with the silly instruments being used on their backs instead of the bland dance track of the original.


Writings on the Wall – OK Go


It feels like it has been a long while since the last OK Go video and their latest trippy optical illusion filled video does not disappoint in that you have to re-watch it multiple times just to figure out what is going on. But like every other OK Go music video you mute the crappy song on the second watch because it is not any good.


Get Her Back – Robin Thicke


A couple months ago Robin Thicke and Paula Patton split after years of marriage, a courtship that goes back to when they were teenagers, and a kid (most speculated that being twerked on my Miley Cyrus in a Beatlejuice suit was the main reason she left). Not that I cared much because Allen is the only member of the Thicke family I care about. A couple months later he released a song called Get Her Back, it was a sweet slow jam that certainly will not make a Blurred Lines dent in popular culture. Then he announced his upcoming album would be called Paula. Alrighty. The cynic in me wants to call this whole “separation” a cheap marketing ploy for the new album. Then came the music video for the song and oh no, it is embarrassingly bad. The video features texts (presumably between Robin and Paula) that make he look like a complete fool. Then he appears in the video for no apparently reason with a black eye and bloody nose. Is he accusing her of domestic abuse? Trying to get her back after that make him seem even worse. If this really has all been a marketing scheme, it is a massive fail. And if it is not a marketing ploy, c’mon Robin, as Michael Wibon would say, there is always another train coming. Just do not get on the Miley Express again.


Bartender - Lady Antebellum


I came to the realization watching the new Lady Antebellum video is that Kate Upton should be in every music video ever. Though I am not sure I would drink anything Buster Bluth served me.

I Want My Music Television: 6/8/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Lazaretto - Jack White


I am not going to lie, I kind of want Jack White’s suit from this video.


Boom Clap – Charlie XCX


Last week I did not have kind words for Iggy Azalia and her Fancy song, but honestly, I kind of like Charli XCX on that song (though being attracted to her as Brittney Murphy is kind of creepy), and kind of like her in general. Sure she is all sorts of bad (let it never be forgotten she was that wrote that horrible I Love It song from last year) but this is actually kind of catchy in its horribleness. If this keeps up, Charli XCX (another reason not to like her, that name, it is annoying to write and what does it mean? 90-10?) could challenge Pretty Little Liars for the guiltiest guilty please of the 10’s.


Best Friend - Foster the People


Foster the People may have only recorded one song worth listening to but they almost always release music videos worth giving a look. We have seen maneater videos plenty of times, but this is the first womaneater I remember seeing.


Zigzagging Towards the Light – Conner Oberst


Conor Oberst was the indie king as Bright Eyes for over a decade but decided it was time to sell out and sign to a major label (the same that turned The Black Keys into the defacto biggest band in the world). If their idea to bring Oberast to the masses was a two and a half minute dialogue with an omnipresent voice during a new future dystopia in black and white, maybe he should have stayed independent. Or they better have a better idea for what will be continued.

I Want My Music Television: 6/3/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Problem – Ariana Grande featuring Iggy Azalea


When I first saw Ariana Grande, I thought it was a Rebecca Black situation. Not that she was horrible, The Way was pleasurable in a guilty kind of way, but the video looked like mommy and daddy put their 401K into it while Ariana had a creepy dead behind the eyes stare to her and just looked uncomfortable the whole time. It turned out Grande is a real thing, and apparently a kiddie television star despite looking like she had never been in front of a camera for The Way. With her next hit Problem instantly going to number one, she is apparently turning out to be the next big thing. Yeah the new song is also moderately catchy (though I could have done without the rap, sure the Fancy video is kinda of awesome but can we please keep Iggy Azalea from becoming a thing please) still her visuals are uncomfortable. For the music video, she broke out the same awkward middle school talent show routine that was met with a resounding, “Huh?!?” from Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan at whatever award show that was. I know the modern pop star has to front and center in everything they do, but Ariana should really consider pulling a Pearl Jam and just stop making music videos for a while, or at the very least do what George Michael did and just fill your video with supermodels.


Talk (Expletive Deleted), Get Shot – Body Count


People have been throwing dirt on rock as a genre for a while now (myself included) but The Black Keys and Jack White have been putting out great music (even if they will not admit it about the other act) and racking up awards, just last week Coldplay had the biggest album debut of the year. So rock may be on life support, but it still has a pulse. Now heavy metal, that genre has been dead for a while now. Seriously, when was the last time you heard a good heavy metal song? There is probably why you rarely see any act from the past decade or two on That Metal Show. So when Ice-T debuted the new Body Count song on his Final Level Podcast (which comes highly recommended from me), I figured that I would listen to about thirty seconds and then fast forward to Ice talking Dungeons and Dragons again. Except the song actually turned out to be legitimately good. And I not just saying that because I fear the title may come to fruition if I did not like it. And the music video is just as entertaining as a more violet version of the plotline of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. (Fun fact: the I got the (Expletive Deleted) idea from this movie).


Simplethings – Miguel


There comes a time in every singer’s career when it is time to roll around on the beach with an absurdly attractive model in black and white. Everyone can thank Chris Isaak for that. So why is Miguel ending the music video right where should be starting. Is he saving that for his own personal collection?


Bridges - Broods


It seems like every month this year I am posting a new video for Bridges. The last one was the “international version” and this is apparently the “American version.” And much like Lorde’s Royals which the US version has 500% more Lorde, the US version of Bridges actually features Broods frolicking in what looks to be a clothing advertisement geared at teenage girls. Sadly that is how you sell new artists stateside.

I Want My Music Television: 5/28/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Sing – Ed Sheeran


I liked Ed Sheeran’s first album as much as every other sensitive dude of the nineties. Sure the faux rapping got a little silly. Following that sensitive singer-songwriter esthetic with a dance track over a Doobie Brothers type acoustic guitar produced by Pharrell may be the most head scratching turn since U2 launched their Pop album with Discotheque. But hey, puppets in your music video make everything more palatable.


Let Me Down Gently – La Roux


I sometime wonder why artists that you obviously know will be one hit wonders do not just drop their mic and walk off like the dude from the New Radicals. I was pretty content putting La Roux on my list of The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 00's despite their one song only being a couple months old at the time. It seemed like the duo did drop the mic and walk away considering it has been five years since they released Bulletproof. Oddly enough for their follow-up to the dance song, they went with a melancholy track. It is catchy, but I do not think I will need to update that One Hit Wonder list just yet.


Double Bubble Trouble – M.I.A.


I do not get it, what exactly is M.I.A. trying to say mixing 3-D modeled firearms with twerking and crappy EDM infused reggae?


Pittbull Terrier – Die Antwoord


Speaking of controversial music video, the weird South African rap duo Die Antwoord apparently does not like Pitbull like pretty much everyone else in the world. But at this point, isn’t taking down Pitbull, who at this point is just the Hispanic Vanilla Ice, a little too easy?