57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/9/12

Quote of the Week: You let that wax figurine discourage you? (Rodger, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: S&M – Rihanna (Pretty Little Liars)

Scene of the Week:




Big News of the Week: I Need to Stop Watch Award Shows: I grew up on MTV but I rarely even flip to the channel anymore except when The Challenge or Beavis and Butt-head are on. But for some reason I am still drawn into the channel’s award shows even though they have not been watchable in years. I talked myself into checking it out because The Black Keys and Fun. were performing and Emma Stone was getting some made up awards. But other than those three moments, the Movie Awards sucked. Where were the cool parodies? Where were the weird pairings (now every award has to be presented by the “cast” of a movie)? And teen girls are still ruining everything by voting for crappy vampire movies. Remember the good old days when nerds controlled the show? Wow I’m old. Actually I am so old I watched Mad Men live Sunday.

On the flip side I have never seen one previous CMT Awards before but only watched for one reason: Kristen Bell. Yeah, that was a bad idea. Sure the Pistol Annies skit was funny (somebody get that girl a record contract) was entertaining, but the political opening fell flat. And Barack Obama an Mitt Romney not backing Kristen is a disqualifier. Is Ross Perot still around? All was not lost though; Willie Nelson performed a song called Roll Me Up an Smoke Me When I Die God bless you Willie.

Mad Men: I never thought Mad Men would be so literal as to actually have someone fall out a window, but as Lane turned to his after Don fired him, I thought for a second that he may actually throw himself out of his. But after a failed attempted to kill himself via Jaguar that he was not actually able start (which begs the question, at what point does Jaguar sue the show for defamation?) he hung himself in his own office. Well at least Lane got to punch Pete Campbell in the face before leaving this mortal coil. So now in two consecutive episodes, Don has Lane’s suicide and Joan’s prostitution hanging over his head (and that does not take into account the other crap he has dealt with lately with Peggy leaving, his wife drifting apart, the Jewish alien becoming better than him, etc.). Last season ended with a proposal, I do not see anything as celebratory happening in next week’s finale. I would not be surprised if this season gets bookend with the dissolution of Don and Megan’s marriage. Or maybe we will get our first extra marital affair of the season (I hope everyone took the over on the number of episodes before that happened) unless of course you count the dream chick Don nailed than murdered.

You can download Mad Men on iTunes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

Dallas premiering Wednesday at 9:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Daddy – Emeli Sande (iTunes): If that is not enough free from her, you can also grab Where I Sleep on Amazon.

Deal of the Week: Pop Classics for $2.99: The MP3 wars are heating up again as Amazon has deeply discounted albums from Hall and Oates and Hootie and the Blowfish and the soundtracks to Footloose and Dirty Dancing.



New Album Release of the Week: The Bravest Man In The Universe - Bobby Womack

New DVD Release of the Week: Episodes: The First Season

Video of the Week: If you are like me you were too young to watch Dallas (which is basically anyone under forty) when it originally aired. So if you need a catch up on the first run’s 357 episodes, unless you jumped in during its thirteen season run, TNT has released a refresher course on the Ewing family including what has happened at the Southfork ranch in the two decades since the show went off the air. And once you are caught up, tune into the reboot when it has its two-hour premiere this Wednesday at 9:00.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Bunheads, Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family: Sure I am too old and too male to watch yet another show on ABC Family, but besides the subject matter, the show is quick, fun, and highly entertaining. Look for a full review on Monday. And for those not quite sure what a “Bunhead” is, below is photographic evidence showing what is and is not a Bunhead.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/02/12

Quote of the Week: We've all had nights in our life where we've made mistakes for free. (Pete, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: You Really Got Me – The Kinks (Mad Men)

Preview Picture of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Summer Television Begins: Summer is the time to get caught up on television you missed (on my to watch list are Dexter seasons 3-6, the final season of Big Love, the first season of Game of Thrones, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, Star Wars: The Clone Wars season 3, and the most recent season of The Middle) there are a few new shows on television that I will be checking out in real time. Here is what I’ll be watching this summer and their premiere dates.

Mondays
June 11, 9:00 – Bunheads (ABC Family)

Tuesdays
June 5, 8:00 - Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)
June 5, 10:00 – Franklin and Bash (TNT)

Wednesdays
June 6, 10:00 – Royal Pains (USA)
June, 13, 10:00 – Dallas (TNT)

Thursdays
June 28 at 10:00 – Wilfred (FX)

Sundays
June 17, 9:00 – Falling Skies (TNT)
July 15, 8:00 – Leverage (TNT)
July 1, 10:00 - Weeds (Showtime)


The Killing: I have tried to avoid complaining about The Killing this season as I just patiently wake until Rosie Larson’s killers is revealed and then never watch this show ever again. But this week was so absurd I could no longer bite my tongue. I should have known something was going to go horribly wrong when the teacher showed up in the previously segment because the show came off the tracks in the episode where he got beat up by Stan, then exonerated of killing Rosie (surprise: he was saving Muslims from genital mutilation) leaving the cops with no suspects and back at square one. But the biggest slap to the dace is the whole metal institution storyline where we learn Linden was way too unstable to get a job back on the police force let alone be the lead detective of a high profile murder. She should have not even been allowed out, especially let out early. But apparently the mental health industry is just as inept in Seattle as their police department. Luckily they did insert a good laugh into the episode after Gwen mentioned the basketball video went viral yet only had about 1,500 views. A real viral video gets that many views in a minute, not a couple of hours.
You can download The Killing on iTunes.

Mad Men: I am not a fan of shock for the sake of shock, and you can say a lot of things about Mad Men like it is boring or slow moving, but it always avoids shock value (Peggy’s surprised baby and Don’s murder dream aside). Then Joan became a high class hooker. This really made her and Pete unredeemable (not that Pete was al that redeemable in the first place). Really all the partners but Don were complicit. And why would Joan want to be a partner with the people that pimped her out? The money argument for her son is moot because Roger would certainly make sure he is cared for. And why was Roger on board? Is he really okay with his former girl toy and baby mama giving herself away to some skeevy executive? I bet if Megan did not succumb to the casting couch this episode, I would not be surprised if that is coming soon. Unless Megan is part of the new generation who actually value their morals over quick advancement.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Hatfields and McCoys: Can something both exceed and fall short of expectations? Even with quality actors Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton at the lead I feared that it would still be this low budget style mini-series, but it was nice to see History went all out (except casting from the J. Crew catalogue circa 1880 for the Romeo and Juliet storyline and if the dog was any more well groomed he would have had been wearing a Petsmart hanker chief). But on the other hand it still paled in comparison to Deadwood which was set around the same time. But I am completely on board for more History miniseries. And may I suggest their next one focus on another famous American rivalry: the Raymond Burr / Alexander Hamilton dual.

Free Download of the Week: Nothing's Real But Love – Rebecca Ferguson

Deal of the Week: Modern Classic for $2.99: Apparently Amazon’s definition of “modern” is the last twenty years because Achtung Baby and Low End Theory are both deeply discounted. You can also gram even more modern albums by Kanye West and Coldplay for the low price.



New Album Release of the Week: That's Why God Made the Radio - The Beach Boys

New DVD Release of the Week: Pretty Little Liars: The Complete Second Season

Video of the Week: Whenever there is a gratuitous shot in a movie trailer showing as much of a woman's backside as allowed by the FCC, they might as well tattoo on the posterior "This movie suck but we are hoping you will still come to see this derriere on the big screen." With that said, The Apparition may have the greatest horrible tagline ever in the history of cinema: "Once You Believe... You Die"



Of course since the booty in question belongs to Ashley Greene, I already have this movie added to my queue.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: I am probably more excited than an old dude should be for the return of the show, but Pretty Little Liars hit is strike going into the homestretch of the second season. Now that we know who A is (Mona) now we get to try to figure out who is also part of “The A-Team” and who is the shadowy figure behind her (meaning my theory that Allison is not as dead as they would have us believe is still alive as I think Allison is). Oh yeah, we also have another murder mystery to solve after Mya showed up dead in the final seconds of the finale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/26/12

Quote of the Week: Yes my bad-boy prom date is gay. He just doesn’t know it yet, so I’m basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble. (Alex, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: Cocaine – Eric Clapton (Men At Work)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Dan Harmon Fired: In true Hollywood fashion, the executives at Sony decided to not renew the contract of Community creator and executive producer Dan Harmon very late last Friday (it is where everyone likes to dump bad news in hopes it gets buried in the weekend). Even with its late release time, the internet still exploded the way only the internet can. Personally I could care less. Sure Harmon’s high concepts led to some great television, but he also had much more swings and huge misses. I really do not care who is behind the show as long as I continue to get my weekly dose of Alison Brie. And all the vitriol towards Song and NBC are pretty unwarranted. By all accounts Harmon is a douche who is hard to work with. You may be able to pull that off if you are Aaron Sorkin and are getting great rating (but even he got pushed out the door at The West Wing eventually) but you certainly cannot if you are pulling in The CW style ratings. And a note to the new showrunners: more Annie Edison please.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Mad Men: Just when I thought the show could not come up with anything more distracting than a topless Rory Gilmore, Kinsey reappears as a Hare Krishna / Star Trek fan-fic writer. Coolbeans and touché Mad Men writers.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Modern Family: What a horrible tease. I thought next season we would get more Dylan next season with Haley moving in with him, but no, she had to go ahead and get into college. Booo. Maybe she will get knocked up by the time next season comes around (while Gloria somehow gets unpregnant). And I may have pinpointed what was wrong with this season (aside from a lack of Dylan), they try to shoehorn in too many emotional moments like after a very funny telenovela bit they had to go ahead and ruin it with Mitchell having a very unfunny breakdown.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Revenge: Just when I thought the show was heading for yet another disappointing payoff when Emily ended up not killing the Albino, but then just as Emily was going to tell Jack everything, Not-Amanda shows up all pregnant (oh snap!) and Victoria got blow up in a plane by the Albino (double snap!!). Sure anyone who has ever watched a soap opera know there is a 0.0% chance that Victoria is actually dead (unless it turns out Madeleine Stowe is even harder to work with than Dan Harmon), same with Charlotte’s overdose, but at least we get to spend the next four months trying to figure out just how she comes back from the dead. Oh yeah, and real-Amanda’s mother is not quite dead as they had us believe. Somebody get Stowe’s Bad Girls co-star Mary Stuart Masterson on the phone.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Awake: When the series premiered I predicted that the series finale would reveal that Det. Britton was the one that died in the car crash and his wife and kid were alive and well. Well two out of three is not bad. But it turns out I was right that both worlds were not real, I think (unless the Asian doctor was right and Britton cracked again creating a third reality which is what we were seeing at the end and a potential second season would have been split between three different realities; just the thought of that kind of makes me glad that it stopped after one season).
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: If you missed my review of the debut from Kimbra (see I Can’t Explain Away the Way I Feel) I pointed out ways you could download three of her songs for free: you can get Warrior courtesy of Converse, Cameo Lover on iTunes, and Good Intent over at MTV.com. And in addition to those three, you can also grab Settle Down for the same price on Amazon MP3. That is 30% of her album you can get for free.

New Album Release of the Week: What We Saw From The Cheap Seats - Regina Spektor

New DVD Release of the Week: Gone

Video of the Week: It is ironic that when I was forced to read The Great Gatsby back in high school I had visions of Jay-Z, Kanye West and Jack White singing U2 going around in my head even though none at that point in time had released any music let alone back in the twenties where the book was set. It also donned one me that the book would make possibly the greatest 3-D movie of all time. Thank you Baz Luhrmann for bringing all of this to fruition with his adaptation of the film.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Hatfields and McCoys, Monday at 9:00 on History: Kevin Costner and Paxton play the patriarchs of the most famous feud of all time in the History mini-series which airs over three straight days.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/20/12

Once Upon a Time: I call shenanigans. How it is after countless numbers of times that Emma has touched the book that this time is the time she touched it and all the saddened started to believe? Shenanigans. And why, at this point, does no one go with true love’s kiss to begin with? It popped in my mind last week when Henry first ate the turnover yet no one realized that it could cure him until after it happened. I am a bit surprised that the curse ended up breaking at the end of the first season finale. So are there going to be any fairytale flashbacks next season? It seems silly if there is going to be magic and everyone knows their past in the real world.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Like last week when all I could think about was why is Rory Gilmore giving it up to the obnoxious Pete Campbell (and what the frack was Mr. Belding doing there), this week all I could think of after the episode was why was Rory Gilmore topless on Mad Men? I vaguely remember Betty eating whip cream out of a can and the Jewish alien throwing a hissy fit, but the stunt casting on the show this season is really getting distracting. Almost as distracting: titling the episode Dark Shadows the same week the movie reboot is released to theaters.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: The first half reminded me of the most recent Community clip show that was not an actual clip show where the writers complied all their half baked ideas into one show. The second half was pretty predictable as I saw Barney proposing to Quinn via magic trick only for the bride turning out to be Robin miles away, the same for Victoria showing up to the bar on her wedding day with Ted driving her back to the church. Granted I did not see him driving past it. Not that I really mind because much like Robin, I think Victoria is the best girlfriend Ted has had and certainly the only one I would like see ending up the mother. Though it would be hard to explain how she turns out to be the mother if Ted met the mother at Barney’s wedding as previously stated.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Holy James Ingram< sighting! I actually thought James was going to turn out to be Lisa’s real father but I guess her brother is still in play. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: I am always against the “x amount of time early” cold open to an episode, but to promise a death early on only for it to turn out to be a dog is cruel and inhumane. Just how many death sequences can one show screw up?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: For the second half the season, it has been fun watching each episode trying to figure out the exact moment where Chevy Chase really got fed up with the absurd storyline. I think we had a winner with the 8-bit episode. As much as I loved the old school Nintendo games, it was hard not to think that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World’s ode to the time period in gaming was much better with its live action homage. And it is odd that they ended the season not with the epic heist episode but the more low key (or as low key as an episode with an evil doppelganger trying to hack off someone’s arm can be) trail episode especially since they just did a Law and Order episode not too long ago. It was like the season Buffy the Vampire Slayer vanquished the Big Bad in the penultimate episode and spent the finale dreaming about cheese.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/13/12

Once Upon a Time: There was nothing more predictable this week than Emma not being the one that ate the apple. Although I did think maybe Mary Margret would be taking the bite over Henry as a juxtaposition of her eating it in the fairy tale land. But nothing was more entertaining than the fairies joining the battle to storm the castle.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: The show is supposedly the best written show but I it is so profoundly written, why is it when I sat down to write about the show the only thing that comes to my mind is what the frack was Mr. Belding, who apparently has been spending the last decade doing nothing but eating Cool Whip, doing there? (I vaguely remember Megan quitting or something and Don hating The Beatles). And if the former Bayside principal was not distracting enough, there was Pete Campbell nailing Rory Gilmore to increase the nineties nostalgia even more after Ken Cosgrove married Alex Mack (and her father Leland Palmer). Who’s next on the casting couch: Kimmy Gibler? The chick from My Two Dads?
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: After such a strong season it is head scratching that this was finals. With only Jermaine Paul being the only contestant that was better than any of the finalists last season I could not bring myself to watch either episodes this week. After America constantly got everything wrong (with some help from the coaches) this season, I was shocked to learn the voting for the finals went the way it should have: Jermaine, Juliet Simms, Tony Lucca with Chris Mann coming in dead last. I laugh at any notion that the Christina-Adam feud hurt Tony and Chris because they earned their finishing spots and should thank their coaches for taking them a lot further than they deserved. If Adam and Christina hurt anyone it was themselves because they were so focused on destroying each other they let people that may not have come in last place go like Lindsey Pavao, Jesse Campbell, Mathai, or Katrina Parker. So congratulations to Christina on her second straight last place finish even though she came out of the Blind Auditions with the strongest team. Maybe next season you do not take your ninth best team member to the finals with you. Even though I did not bother to watch the finale, there is one performance I checked out the next day:



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Castle: It is inevitable for a show built around an antagonist relationship of two characters of different gender that they will eventually hook up if the show stays on the air long enough, but that was a horrible ending for the episode and season. Well almost ending as there was one last scene to remind us that Kate’s mom’s case is still wide open. They better solve it by the end of next season (preferably much earlier). They already hinted at some sort of conspiracy surrounding Castle’s dad, how about solve Mama Beckett’s murder and move onto the mystery of Papa Castle? Unless he is the mysterious boss behind Mama Beckett’s murder (which I suspected when they first brought him up).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Oh Kat, you can take the girl out of the game but you just cannot keep her quite. I was surprised to learn that Christina turned out to be one of Alicia’s “minions.” Didn’t Alicia once suggest to Christina that she should jump in the fire so she did not have to wait an extra day before being voted out? Is this some sort of Stockholm Syndrome situation?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: Holy Dylan sighting! As everyone has spent the last couple months complaining how the show isn’t funny anymore, I think it is clear what was missing this season was Dylan who has not been seen since the season premiere when the Dunfy family left him at the dude ranch. Hopefully he is the spark that can get the fourth season back on track. Maybe a Dylan-Hayley wedding is in order.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Revenge: I am a bit surprised that we had an origins story that did not feature the sensei. Maybe that is for the next flashback episode next season.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: Didn’t they already do a clip show that wasn’t a real clip show before? Although I get a sense that we got a glimpse of the series finale with everyone being a part of a mental institute. You know the ending is going to be some sort of head trip (assuming they get a proper ending). And somehow insane Annie managed to be hotter than regular neurotic Annie.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/6/12

Once Upon a Time: Thankfully they actually revealed that August was Pinocchio early in the episode and did not wait until the end of it (or next season; these are the writers of Lost) considering anyone who watch the promo could put two and two together. And it looks like I was right that the writer of the book was a stowaway in the magic wardrobe with Emma. But August has no one to blame but himself for his predicament, seriously dude, if a fairy who gave you life tells you not to lie to continue being a real boy: don’t lie. Instead as soon as his leg turns to wood, he actually doubles down on the lying.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: I may be just as traumatized as Sally after watching this episode.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: I was one of the few people that defended Christina Aguilera this season saying she had a plan and was sticking to it even if she was going to be heavily criticized for it. I thought she was going to do whatever was necessary to get Lindsey Pavao to the finals even if that meant eliminating her other frontrunner and trashing singers on other teams that did not deserve the votes they were getting. But after this week it is clear she had no plan and just had personal grudges against Jesse Campbell, Tony Lucca, Adam Levine, and probably more. Seriously, how does she go out of her way to implore that Adam give Katrina Parker extra points and then split her own 50/50? Christina had the weakest finalist last season and even though she went into the Live Rounds this season, she still managed to have the weakest finalist again this season. Who is voting for Chris Mann? The guy is a fifth rate opera singer who had the second worst selling song on iTunes and yet he somehow beat the person with the second highest selling song (and number one overall this season). That just does not pass the smell test. The Voice really needs to make some changes before it starts to be as unwatchable as American Idol because as strong as the singers were this season, they came up with a pretty lackluster finals.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from this week with the widget at right.

Castle: The show is at its best when it goes absurd (zombies!?!) yet still stays within the realm of reality. But I do not think a forced confession like that is going to hold up in the court of law. Wouldn’t it have been better to hold him longer on drug charges and try to smoke him out that way? I guess it would have not been as much fun.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: How dare they actually vote out Kat? I am so upset right now, my two favorite reality competitors eliminated on consecutive days. Why do you hate me Reality Gods? At least Kat went out with a bang. I loved after picking two people that did not deserve a reward, she says, "Let me explain" and just when you think she would say something profound or at least reasonable she says, "I just want to get drunk with these girls." Awesome. Then she complains that Kim wins everything right after she won the reward challenge and how mad she was losing to a twenty-eight year old. Then gleefully talk about how great it would be to blindside Sabrina at Tribal Council right before being blindsided. Le sigh. I miss her already. Hopefully she really does annoy Probst until he lets her on the show again. But I have to say to those that did blindsided Kat: coolbeans and touché.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Community: The Voice should be even more embarrassed thatChris Mann’s version of Ave Maria was not even the best version of that song on the network this week. Garrett out.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: So the big conspiracy behind the accident has to do with heroin? They really cannot distribute it with Britton still in town? There has to be more to this story.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 5/5/12

Quote of the Week: You can’t escape it, Don. Soon your little girl will spread her legs and fly. (Megan’s dad, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: You Oughta Know – Alanis Morrissette (as sung by June, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Adam Yauch: I grew up with the Beastie Boys. Quite literally. I was a childish elementary school student when the sophomoric License to Ill came out. I was going through my alternative phase as they got weird on Check Your Head. I was heading out to the club when the released their most danceable Hello, Nasty. And I was getting political when they released their pro-New York, anti-Bush To the the 5 Boroughs. Where most groups have a standout performer, no one have a favorite Beastie Boy, they were all equally great and at their best when they were trading lines. I can count the number of artist whose whole catalogue I own on one hand and the Beastie Boys were one of them. MCA’s diagnosis of cancer pushed back the release of Hot Sauce Committee, part 1 in 2009 which did not get released until a year later (renamed part 2) but his illness kept him from promoting the album and recently had to miss his induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last month (which will be premiering on HBO tonight).

Free Download of the Week: China Girl – David Bowie (Google Play)

Deal of the Week: 100 Album for $5 on Amazon MP3: This month’s $5 albums include Norah Jones, Amos Lee, Dawes, and Rosie Thomas.



New Album Release of the Week: Strangeland - Keane

New DVD Release of the Week: Chuck: The Complete Fifth Season

Video of the Week: I have been worshiping at the altar of Apatow for about a decade now, but something is just not working with the first trailer to his four movie that he wrote and directed This Is Forty, a sequel of sorts to Knocked Up (which was probably done so he didn’t have to work with Katharine Heigl again which is understandable). At one point Leslie Mann tells Paul Rudd his eyes are glazing over an that is actually what he looks like throughout the whole trailer when he is fully clothed. And the only part I actually laughed was the “No technology” line. Hopefully this is just a case of a bad trailer and movie ends up being much better.



Next Week Pick of the Week: 2 Broke Girls, Monday at 8:00 on CBS: Sure the show ranks number one on my list of the most disappointing show of the season but Kat Dennings still carries the show fairly well even if all the other characters are one dimensional and the second lead has an annoying voice. But Caroline is less annoying than The Voices of other people that will be airing during the same timeslot on Monday.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/29/12

Once Upon a Time: Being from “writers of Lost,” very early in the episode it became blatantly obvious to me that the mysterious writer was Rumplestiltkin’s son (I cannot believe I did not think of this before even though during the Beauty and the Beast episode I wondered whatever happened to his son) and though it was blatantly obvious I assumed that it was Lost writers at the helm we would have to wait two seasons for the reveal. But low and behold they actually gave it to us by the end of the episode. Except it turned out not to be his son.

Which begs the question which storybook character is the mysterious writer. Oh wait, the promo monkeys pretty much spoiled that, oh never mind. And for a spell the Blue Fairy said cannot be replicated, there seemed to be a couple of storybook characters that made it to the real world without the curse like Emma and her magic wardrobe and mysterious writer (and possibly whoever the writer was talking to about speeding up the plan; actually I would not be surprised if we get an entire season of flashbacks of storybook characters in the real world if the show lasts that long).
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Kind of a cheap Lost-type storytelling for the episode. But all is forgiven with the Roger Sterling on LSD scene (but not for Peggy’s extracurricular activities in the movie theater).
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.


The Voice: I defended Tony Lucca two weeks ago against Christina Aguilera’s harsh comments and what does Tony do in his very next performance: give a very one dimensional performance. When The Voice started, the producers and coaches were all altruistic talking about not having any joke performances, but Tony’s performance was such a joke it rivals that of Erin Martin. It was such big of a joke; his backing band might as well have been William Hung and his Hung Jury. But I guess it could have been worse, when I realized they had not announced what song he was singing, I thought, “Oh my God, he’s actually going to sing Genie in a Bottle.”

But after every elimination and Save last week seeming to be controversial (though Jordis Unga seemed the right choice for Blake to send home), a pretty uneventful time for eliminations this week with James Massone and Pip rightfully getting the Instant Eliminations (though the teen girl voting bloc may disagree). I could quibble that Mathai was more entertaining than Katrina Parker, but it is hard to argue against her and Juliet Simms got through (though I could argue that much like Chris Mann last week, the two girls were much more deserving of the public’s vote but unlike Chris it was pretty obvious Tony was getting through). Really the most shocking event that happened this week was that Pip performed sans bowtie before James ditched his headband. Certainly did not see that coming.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download songs from this episode using the widget at right.

Survivor: One World: I always love the pecking order challenges because it shows everyone where they stand in the tribe. Unfortunately only a few people on the bottom of the totem pole have taken advantage of the situation and it looks like it will not happen again this season unless Kat can hatch a master plan instead of just complaining about it. And Kat managed to be the dumbest person this week. Seriously, how does Alicia, a Special Education teacher not know how IQ work?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Revenge: As someone who is meticulous and calculating as Emily is, how could she think her father’s murder was just a random jailhouse fight? Of course the Grayson’s were behind the killing. It should have at least clicked when she saw how Vicki could get to her son on the inside.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: The show needs more Roasts in the future.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: Sometimes the show tries so hard in being spot on with their parodies and being clever they forget to actually be funny. This week was one of those times.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: Of course Pierre Chang had a broken arm. But anyway. I wondered the deeper they got into the move what could the possible reason they would have to end up staying (you knew they were never going to go to Oregon) and having a grandkid is a very worthy excuse.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/22/12

Mad Men: How disappointing that Trudy Campbell did not do the Zoo Be Zoo dance at her dinner party. On the bright side, I finally got to see someone beat the crap out of her husband which I have waited to happen since the first season.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: If I were Mark Burnett, my mantra for The Voice would be “Don’t be American Idol.” Idol is a painfully bad amateur karaoke contest and The Voice has pretty much done everything right in two season (sure I can knick pick some of the coach’s decision *cough*Erin Martin*cough*) even the phrasing they use is better than Idol. Contestants are eliminated on Idol. Singers on The Voice “win” battles. Then in the Live Shows there are America’s “Saves” and Coach “Saves”, very positive words. But The Voice had an epic fail this week by introducing Instant Elimination. “Elimination”: a very negative word. If anything should be eliminated it is the Instant Eliminations next season.

Sure Blake Shelton went the easy and obvious root by chopping off Jordis who did not receive America’s vote last round and gave another mediocre performance. Christina Aguilera had a much tougher decision because he save last time, Ashley De La Rosa gave the strongest performance of the night. With that said, I still thought going into the elimination that Jesse Campbell was the most safe, Ashley still would have been a safe pick to go, Lindsey Pavao has been the front runner on the team but gave a very bland performance, and I thought Chris Mann was most likely to go after a painful performance and a string of boring performance. But Christina booting Jesse is the most shocking moment in two seasons of The Voice. Christina just cannot win, prior to the elimination she had the moment of the night when she and a couple male strippers serenaded Blake with Hillbilly Bone and no one is talking about that because of the elimination.

Almost as disappointing as Jesse’s elimination was Lindsey’s performance. I was ready to pronounce her the winner after her amazing performance of Say Aah and her performances of Heart Shape Box and Somebody That I Used to Know were weirdly awesome, but Part of Me just did not work. What’s worse is when she announced she was going to perform Rihanna I thought to myself, “wow, this should be interesting, I can’t wait to hear what she does with this medley (assuming her medley was not an actually medley like Moses Stones) but when she changed it to Katy Perry, my first thought was, “Ugg.” (I pretty much had the same reaction when Naia Kete went from doing a reggae version of Turning Tables to a straight version of the song; seriously, someone needs to take away his Adele album before we are stuck hearing Jermaine Paul’s version of Rumour Has It).

As shocking as it was, Jesse being shown the door was not even the most surprising moment of the week as I was much more shocked when Carson announced Chris Mann was saved by America, looking at Christina’s feigned clapping and Adam’s blank face after the reveal, I was not the only one that did not see this coming. If Christina thinks Tony Lucca is one-dimensional, what does she think of Chris? Is there such a thing as a fourth of a dimension? The guy is a bore and his version of Viva la Vida was painfully bad and was the only time this season I considered muting the television that did not involve Erin Martin. What is worse is that he was the least selling contestant from his team on iTunes. There is a significant flaw in the voting system of The Voice when the worst selling artist can get voted through especially when it is at the expense of the person who sold the most (who was Ashley this week). I suggested this last season and I am going to again, they should give equal weight to each voting method: 33% for online voting, 33% for phone calls, and 33% for iTunes sale. That way the people who use their hard earned money to support their favorite contestants are not drowned out by the fanatics that create hundreds fake accounts to stuff the ballot for less deserving contestants like Chris.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download music from this week in the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Nothing depressed me this week more than realizing I am Ted when it comes to living without a roommate.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Someone should have told Max that yes the government takes taxes right out of her paycheck, but if she filed her tax returns she makes so little she would probably get almost all of that back.

Castle: If there is not a Slaughter spin-off on ABC’s schedule next season I am going to be severely disappointed. At the very least he better show up in at least five episodes next season (and one more this season). I worried a little that we did not see him again because when Beckett took over the case I thought they were going to have it that Slaughter set the whole thing up and murdered Glitch.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Ever since the introduction of the auction into the game I have wondered why no one goes, I would rather pocket the $500 dollar because I am certainly not spending that kind of money on a bowl of peanut butter and Tarzan finally put his money to practical use. Until he changed his mind. As befuddling is when people who clearly on the bottom of their alliances are content to get max sixth (unless you can win immunity that round) place instead of a guaranteed fifth place and a possibility of a win. But on the bright side, we are almost guaranteed to have more Kat, who cannot grasp the concept of an auction at $20 increments or what the “B” in BLT stands for, in our lives, at least to the final four, and that is fine by me.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Oh Alicia Silverstone, where have you been these last lonely fifteen years. Can we just go ahead and add her to the cast already?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: It is about time Vicky’s former life caught up to her, unfortunately Emily did not stick around to see it. And just what was Emily doing making a spare key from the thug that sent a “message” to Daniel in pison?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: After this episode, I am beginning to understand Chevy Chase’s voice mail rants. But then again, who can complain too much when there are double Annie Edision’s involved.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 4/21/12

Quote of the Week: You’re a grimy little pimp. (Lane, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: Hello – Lionel Richie (Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Dick Clark: American Bandstand was a bit before my time but like anyone born in the past fifty years, New Years Eve was not New Years Eve without Dick Clarke counting down the ball. Even after his stroke I still had to check in with him because there was no one better to ring in the New Year with. This year would have been Dick’s fortieth anniversary of Rocking Eve special and it will not be the same without him.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Susan Sarandon on The Big C Tomorrow  

Free Download of the Week: Live to Rise – Soundgarden (iTunes): The grunge gods have recorded their first new song in over fifteen years and you can get it for the low, low price of free.

Deal of the Week: R&B Classics for $3.99: Amazon MP3 has some R&B classics for only $3.99 including The Temptations, Marvin Gaye, Al Green and Lionel Richie.




New Album Release of the Week: Blunderbuss - Jack White

New DVD Release of the Week: The Innkeepers

Video of the Week: A documentary on the history of rap directed by Ice-T? Yes please. Hopefully this is just part one of a hundred. Actually, was is this not a series on VH1 Classic like the recent great Metal Evolution?


Something From Nothing: The Art of Rap Official Trailer


Next Week Pick of the Week: NFL Draft, Thursday at 8:00, Friday at 7:00, and Saturday at Noon on ESPN: For fans of preferential bottom feeders like myself, the NFL Draft is our Super Bowl, three days where hope springs eternal where hopefully our horrible players are replaced by better ones. And with the Browns having thirteen picks and three in the top thirty-seven and with plenty of holes needing to be filled, there will plenty for me to pay attention to this year.