Not Everybody Hates Chris

Even though Everybody Hates Chris was my most anticipated show of last season, I still doubts about the show as Chris Rock’s previous foray into PG territory were less than memorable (except for the maybe Little Penny ads, but how many people knew that was him). But conventional wisdom would say that say that Rock has always been funny so there could have been a time in his youth when he didn’t rely on profanity so this look back his life could be entertaining at least in a Wonder Years kind of way.

The show, yet still funnier than, say, Head of State, it still doesn’t reach that of his stand up routines, but then again it doesn’t have too because in the scenes that lack laughs make up for it in heart. In an era where all sitcoms feature dysfunction families that hate each other, you can sense the love in the Rock household aside from all the natural sibling rivalries. Even when the family argues you know it’s only because they care and that’s refreshing to see on network television without having to sit through an hour of the should have stayed canceled 7th Heaven.

But it wouldn’t be a Chris Rock project without the discussion of racism and with Rock going to an all-white middle school during the early 80’s, it is dealt with head on. The catalyst of most of it is school bully Joey Caruso who has already used every racial epitaph for black people in the first season, my favorite being Bo Jangles. They even occasionally throw in the “N” word, but this only enhances the realism of what Rock had to go through at the time (keep in mind, even with racial slurred, the show still landed on the Parents Television Council list of Best Shows of this year coming in at number five).

Even though Chris Rock has a good ten years on me, the show almost takes me back to my middle school days complete with the token black student who teachers went out of their way to avoid being racist. And with the early 80’s time period, the show makes for the best soundtrack on television ranging from Eye of the Tiger to Ebony and Ivory. And it was just classic when Rock dressed up like Prince for Halloween. I almost hope that on the show, Rock doesn’t make to high school for a while, because I’m having too much fun laughing at his middle school experience.

Everybody Hates Chris 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won a STA.

My 2006-7 Television Schedule

The networks spent all week announcing their new schedule, so here is my unofficial schedule of what I will be watching. It is only tentative because all I have to go on for the new shows are a short description (check out my preseason top five at the bottom) so I will have more of an idea of whether I will watch something when they start seeing promos are read reviews. Even Veronica Mars wasn’t on my radar two years ago as I pegged it as just another boring high school drama.

Monday
8:00 - How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
9:00 - Heroes (NBC)

This may turn out to be a throwaway night with HIMYM being the only show worth watching. Heroes seems promising if you get past the lackluster cast and a plotline stolen from a failed Courtney Cox show from the late 80’s who’s I can’t remember and too lazy to look up. I may check out The Class in between, but I hay just tape HIMYM and watch it at 8:30.


Tuesday
9:00 - Veronica Mars (CW)
9:00 - Let’s Rob… (Taped) (ABC)

Veronica Mars is a given, sadly the most promising sitcom, Let’s Rob… is up against it so I’ll have to tape it. The show is from the producers of Ed and Late Show and stars the taxi cab driver from the old MTV commercials. The show was originally called Let’s Rob Mick Jagger but I guess the show will branch out later and has potential to be this year’s My Name Is Earl.


Wednesday
8:00 - Jericho (CBS)
9:00 - Lost (ABC)

I’m just watching Jericho out of spite because they totally stole my idea of life in a post nuclear small town. Luckily since it’s on CBS and doesn’t have the prefix CSI, it most likely won’t make it past the first month. I may also check out The Nine which is oddly enough on at 10:00 solely because it stars Chi McBride.


Thursday
8:00 - Survivor (CBS)
8:00 - Smallville (Taped) (CW)
8:00 - My Name Is Earl (Taped) (CW)
9:00 - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)

Last year they moved all my favorite shows to Thursday making my weekend catch up time and it looks like it will be much of the same. Everybody Hates Chris is out but unfortunately My Name Is Earl moved up and hour. The at 9:00 there is Studio 60 from the dude who brought us Sports Night and if this show is just like his previous one but with an SNL twist I’ll be happy, well except for the whole being canceled thing.


Friday/Saturday

I’d like to think I have something better to do on these nights to watch TV.


Sunday
7:00 - Everybody Hates Chris (CW)

Sundays look like when I’ll be catching up on everything I missed on Thursday. I may ease up my boycott of Fox to watch the cartoon lineup, and is the Browns are on I’ll watch football, but this is basically a throwaway night.


Preseason Top 5 New Shows

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)
Let’s Rob (ABC)
Heroes (NBC)
20 Good Years (NBC)
The Nine (ABC)


Thoughts on other new shows:

20 Good Years - An off couple with John Lithgow and Jeffery Tambor, seriously how could you go wrong with an alien and a Bluth? Unfortunately it’s on against Lost, same with the other SNL themed show, 30 Rock

Six Degrees (ABC) - As in six degrees of separation but Kevin Bacon is no where to be found. The problem with the show is that it is JJ Abrams’ third show on the schedule, and second that involves random people who randomly interact (Think Lost’s flashbacks). Then add his involvement in resurrecting the Star Trek franchise and I can’t imagine he will have too much on his table and something, if not will falter.

‘Til Death (FOX) - The dude from Everybody Loves Raymond not named Raymond stars as a married dude in a stale marriage who new neighbors are newlyweds. This show was much better when it was called Married with Children.

Kidnapped (NBC), Vanished (FOX), Runaway (CW) - Much like Surface, Threshold, and Invasion last year, these shows sound basically the same and look how those that turned out for last year’s crop of derivative shows. To add to the agony, the latter stars one of the New Kids on the Block, that’s never a good sign.


For a complete grid of next year’s schedule, check out tvguide.com.

Fantasy CW Television Schedule

The big news Tuesday was the unexpected merger of The WB with UPN. My first thought was, “Oh crap, there’re going to get rid of Veronica Mars.” Then after every major and minor new report mentioned the show as most like being apart of the new CW network (a name so bad you’d think they’d try to get half owner, CBS, to let them start showing Love Monkey). Add onto that the show is currently on UPN and is produced by the Warner Brothers studio, which of course owns The WB, they already both have vested interest in the show. But being beat by a repeat of Beauty and the Geek this past Wednesday may not help though.

Aside from announcing the merger, both sides have been relatively quiet about the specifics like which shows will make up the new channel or even how much prime time programming there will be. I’ve heard everything from as little as 17 hours all the way up to 30 hours. So I have compiled a list for the newly minted CW letting know not only what shows that should stick around and those that should be dumped but a potential lineup they should use come fall using the current WB hours which I have heard a couple times as being the model for:


Must Have Shows – Veronica Mars, Everybody Hates Chris, Everwood, Supernatural
Must Dump Now – South Beach, Cuts, One Tree Hill, Living with Fran, Twins, Charmed, Eve


Monday
8:00 - 7th Heaven spin-off
9:00 - Gilmore Girls

Tuesday
8:00 - New Joss Whedon Show
9:00 - Veronica Mars

Wednesday
8:00 - America’s Next Top Model
9:00 - Supernatural

Thursday
8:00 - Everybody Hates Chris
8:30 - One on One
9:00 - Girlfriends
9:30 - Half and Half

Friday
8:00 - WWE Smackdown

Sunday
5:00 - Veronica Mars Beginnings
6:00 - Easy View Tuesday 8:00 Show
7:00 - What I Like About You
7:30 - Reba
8:00 - Related
9:00 - Everwood


On Mondays I know that this is the last season for 7th Heaven but it is still the second highest rated show currently on The WB so taking a couple characters from the show for a new show would be a wise decision and pairing it with Gilmore Girls would make a good family lineup.

For Tuesday, here is my probably too far fetched idea but I will pitch it anyways, beg Joss Whedon to create a new show for the fledgling network. He helped bring credibility to The WB with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and did the same for UPN when Buffy moved there in season 5. Whether it is a show in the Buffy-verse, a Firefly offshoot or a new show entirely, they need to beg Weadon to bring a show to the network. Then have that show lead into the best show since Buffy, Veronica Mars, would be a great pair.

Wednesday is sort of a hodgepodge as there is nowhere else to put Supernatural unless it gets paired up with Veronica Mars considering that it’s doubtful that my Weadon suggestion will come to fruition. Thursday is a combination of the best urban shows while some of the crap gets axed. Seriously how did Shannon Elizabeth get her own show? But anyways. Smackdown is perfect for Friday as it give pre-pubescent dude something to do when they can’t get a date. If only this was the case when I was young so I wouldn't have been stuck watching Urkel.

The WB loves its Easy View so why not keep it around. UPN even stole the idea by repeating Veronica Mars at 7:00 on Sundays this year. And just like The WB has done with Smallville and Gilmore Girls in the past, show the first season of Veronica Mars so late comers can get caught up. While all the new programming are good family shows, even though the dramas do have some older themes. In addition to the schedule, CW should bring back Beauty and the Geek and Blue Collar TV as replacement shows or fillers for when show go on hiatus instead a weeks of repeats instead.

The most glaring omission from this lineup is Smallville. When watching the 100th episode and watching the deaths of Lana (thankfully she came back to life) and Papa Kent (don't they know what happen the last time a show tried to go without Bo Duke?), I realized that this is the last hurrah for the show. It was good while it lasted, but it’s quickly running out of storylines and Warner Brother won’t be hesitant to pull the plug before the show does something to taint the legacy, and in turn taint the movie that will be coming out this summer, and most like future summers too. Plus it would be silly to have a television show and film franchise running at the same time. And to the Smallville faithful, you should be happy the show that the show will not be able to fall into late season X-Files type decline.

Best New Shows of Fall 2005

Now that we are a couple weeks into the new Fall TV Season and each new show has gotten a sweeps episode under their belt, it is time for me to unveil the top new shows of 2005. And if there are any TV execs reading this, you have my permission to use this list in promotions for you show. Now without further ado:

1. My Name Is Earl - Tuesday 9:00 NBC (See my first impressions)

2. Everybody Hates Chris - Thursday 8:00 UPN (See my first impressions)

3. Reunion - Thursday 9:00 Fox (See my first impressions)

4. How I Met Your Mother - Monday 8:30 CBS (See my first impression)

5. Supernatural - Tuesday 9:00 WB (See my first impressions)

The biggest surprise is that there is not one, not two, but three sitcoms in the top five. I haven’t watched a sitcom religiously since ABC started screwing with The Drew Carey Show’s scheduling and it has been over a decade since I watched three sitcoms in the same year. Apparently having a narrator is the key to comedy these days as each show utilizes one.

Even though Everybody Hates Chris was my preseason favorite, My Name Is Earl is this season’s breakout show and Jason Lee’s mustache being the season breakout star. With Earl’s insane list, there are limitless opportunities for Earl to get back on karma’s good side as seen in the episodes that have been shown so far. Stealing the golfer’s beer is the best wrong that Earl has had to right so far, by faking his death to get out of a relationship comes a close second. As for the coming in second on my list, Chris has some great laugh out loud moments, but sometimes the show get bogged down with too many Wonder Years moments.

Another big surprise would be with all the X-Files rip-offs (Surface, Invasion, Threshold) getting all the early buzz, which all turned out to be unwarranted a different sci-fi show and a show with an original concept were the two dramas that made the list. The concept behind Reunion, each episode is dedicated to a different year, even makes up to some poor acting and foreseeable plot twist, although they did through me for a loop with the last episode where they made me believe that I was right by saying it was the actress was the one who would bit the dust only to reveal that the chick from Angel’s interview was via a videotape from the night she died.

Bringing up the rear is another solid drama, Supernatural. In my original assessment of the show, I mention that I would most likely catch it when it came out on DVD because I’d be watching My Name Is Earl. But I figured I still tape the show until there was a episode I didn’t like but that day has yet to come.

The End Is Near

There is nothing like the yearly release by the Parent Television Council that recommends what shows I should be watching. Of course when I say what I should be watching, I referring to the shows they put on their Worst Shows list. Ever since the very first list in 1997, the PTC has condemned such favorites of mine such as The Drew Carrey Show, Norm, Angel, Family Guy, and The Surreal Life including number one spots for Married with Children (1997), WWF Smackdown! (2000), Boston Public (2001), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (2002), and Everwood (2004). Looking at the Best Shows list over the years, there have only been three shows I’ve watched regularly that made that list Smallville (twice), Joan of Arcadia, and American Dreams.

But looking at the Worst Shows list, the PTC might have actually gotten it right this year by putting The War at Home number one as it was one of the worst shows I’ve watched in a long time (see my review). Granted Family Guy made a return appearance along with first timers Desperate Housewives and Arrested Development making the list this year.

But the interesting aspect about this year’s Best Shows list is there is actually only nine shows on it this year. How sad is it when we have gotten to the point in our culture that the PTC can’t even find ten shows worth recommending? And looking at the list, number one is Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, a show that was a spin-off of a show that advocated plastic surgery, American Idol (#3) a show built around some British dude insulting young people and another judge who allegedly has sex with numerous contestants, and Dancing with the Stars (#8) that featured a Playboy Playmate who had a wardrobe malfunction. Then at number five is Everybody Hates Chris. Who would ever think that the PTC would endorse anything that Chris Rock did? Or they would recommend a show that used multiple racial slurs? I’m may have to start believing the whole “The end is near” that the religious fanatics keep telling me about.

Check out the whole list - Parents Television Council Publications

First Impressions - Everybody Hates Chris

Last night was the premiere of the most anticipated show of the fall season for me, Everybody Hates Chris. Like many white teenager growing up in the suburbs, I had many of Chris Rock’s routines and would recite them when ever I fit them in a conversation. Now much like my other comedic idol of the 90’s, Denis Leary, Rock has his own television show except Everybody Hates Chris is an autobiographical show with Rock serving as the narrator. Luckily as the narrator, Rock didn’t reveal at the end of the show, the girl he met was actually his kids’ aunt; I’m talking to you Danny Tanner.

The show hit all the right notes with some extremely funny antidotes like when the father knows the price of everything in house and proceed to inform everyone who is around. And unlike Reunion who seems to just pick the top songs from that decade, the music in Everybody Hates Chris hits all the right notes for instance when Ebony and Ivory played as Chris fought with a white bully and even when Rock was legally not allowed to say why the former principal got fired, having Don’t Stand So Close to Me playing in the background, explained everything.

The cast is also well chosen. Terry Crews, last seen as the black dude in White Chicks redeems himself as Rock’s father and has the best lines in the whole show like “Chris, unplug your clock, you don’t need tell time when your asleep, that’s two cents a minute.” Rock’s mother is played by the chick from Martin not named Tisha Campbell, and no I’m not talking about Sheneneh either. The rest of the cast are relative unknown kids led by Tyler James Williams as the younger Rock as does a great job at it even though he does the pitfall of trying to imitate the elder version of Rock which comes of as some one like myself trying to tell one of Rock’s jokes.

Verdict: Not as funny as the first My Name Is Earl but it’s not far behind. I’ll be watching Survivor, but I’ll be taping Everybody Hates Chris on my good VCR and take my chance with Smallville on my other one. Sorry Alias, no room for you.

Fall 2005 TV Schedule

During my Star Wars love fest last week, the TV networks quietly announced next year's schedule, and to back up my pervious notion that the world is against me, almost all the shows I watched last year got canceled or moved to the same day and time. Before I let my faithful readers what I'll be watching next year, I like you to take a moment of silence to this season's dearly departed:

American Dreams
Joan of Arcadia
Listen Up
Tru Calling
Christopher Reeves
Ethan Rom
Boone
Genevieve Teague
Rex Van de Camp
Dennis Miller

You all will be missed, at least by me. So on to what I'll be watching next year.

Monday
8:00 - Arrested Development
8:30 - How I Met Your Mother

Arrested Development is the funniest sitcom on TV today, basically by default because the rest are absolutely horrible. I did like the uncomfortable type humor of The Office (see Tuesday), so I will give that another try. How I Met Your Mother stars Alyson Hannigan last seen on Veronica Mars (I was hoping she would join that cast but there is a good chance this show will bomb so she can join it for the second half of next season) and most famously known as the lesbian-witch on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh and Doogie Howser is on it too.

Tuesday
8:00 - Bones
9:00 - My Name is Earl
9:30 - The Office

Bones is a crime drama that teams up a forensic anthropologist and an FBI agent (TV and their wacky crime drama pairings; will they ever run out?). The show stars Angel himself, David Boreanaz and Henry Walker from American Dreams. My Name is Earl is about a con man who gives up his life of crime after he wins the lottery. I have a fear, due to the name, that the show will revolve around an AA type meeting for crooks. Jason Lee, mostly known for his work with Kevin Smith, I assume plays Earl.

Wednesday
9:00 - Lost
9:00 - Veronica Mars (Tape)

Lost seems to be a magnet for my favorite shows. Last year it attracted Smallville and American Dreams, this year it is Veronica Mars. Wednesday is also the day the show that tops my "No Way You Will Ever Get Me to Watch That Crap" list with Freddie starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and David Silver (oh please let him rap on this show too). I give the show five weeks.

Thursday
8:00 - Survivor
8:00 - Smallville (Tape)
8:00 - Everybody Hates Chris (If somebody buys me another VCR)
8:00 - Alias (Might catch it on DVD)
9:00 - Everwood

OK here is where my conspiracy theory against me starts. Yeah Lost and Veronica Mars on at the same time sucks, but Thursday at 8:00 sucks massively with four shows I want to watch all on at the same time. Alias is the odd (wo)man out as I never really got in the show that much. Everyone Hates Chris (as in Rock) follows a teenager at a mostly white high school in 1982 with Rock doing his best Daniel Stern impersonation (think The Wonder Years). I might tape Reunion at 9:00 also.

Friday
Friday is where shows go to die so there is never anything worth watching on this night, especially without Joan of Arcadia. Although one show I'll love to make fun of will be The Ghost Whisperer about a newlywed who sees dead people. It stars Jennifer Love Hewitt and Aisha Tyler.

Saturday
(See Friday)

Sunday
8:00 - The Simpsons
8:30 - The War at Home
9:00 - Desperate Housewives

Michael Rapaport Alert! I don't know how this guy can still find work, but he's always good for some good unintentional comedy.


Some shows to look out for that will replace the stiffs like Freddie and The Ghost Whisperer in the midseason include:

Crumbs staring Kevin Arnold (wow, Kevin Arnold and Doogie Houser on TV at the same time. Is it 1988 again? Makes you wonder where DJ Tanner is) and Maggie Lawson who been a few failed sitcoms, Inside Schwartz and It’s All Relative, she due for a good one.

I'm not sure what Pepper Dennis is about or even who Dennis is, but it stars Rebecca Romijn (no more Stamos), Brooke Burns and Lindsay Price. And as an added bonus, it also has the dude from Boy Meets World that wasn't related to Kevin Arnold. How did he get this job?

The Unit is about Delta Force agents starring Dennis Haybert, whom I will always remember as Pedro Cerrano, but most recently he played the president on 24, the Terminator (not Arnold or the chick versions), Amy Acker, the token hot nerdy chick on Angel, and Regina King who was Mrs. Rod Tidwell.

Freebirds is about a recent college graduate who goes from big man on campus to moving back in with his parents. Stars no one in particular.

If you would like to scope out next year's schedule check out at Ain't it Cool News. Also check back later next week as I hand out awards for the 2004-05 TV season and give a few select shows a grade on my Terror Alert Scale.