57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Wow, eyeless girl was creepier than anything on The Walking Dead this week. Although will Mr. Gold be willing to get rid of his grandson just because he will be his downfall? Stupid question, this is a guy who let his son slip through a portal alone just to keep his powers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It was pretty obvious that the person at the bottom of the boat would turn out to be the evil dock guy, but I never would have guessed that he would take Amanda down with him. After she had Jack’s baby, I assumed she would be here for the long haul of the show. Hopefully this inspires Emily to get back to taking people down again and stop with all this slow and boring cooperate espionage that has gone on this season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I thought crazy Rick stopped after he realized he was getting phone calls from beyond the grave. Ugg. And all the zombies that came out of that delivery truck might as well all had wigs on because that was essentially a clown car.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Of course child services shows up at the most chaotic time ever on the show. It will be hard for to get the Gallagher’s to get out of this one, but I have a feeling the inept worker will help them out inadvertently or not. And can you really get pregnant with a turkey baster? I always that that was an urban legend.

House of Lies: Uh, oh, Veronica Mars went on a blind date with the Hearst rapist this week. Hopefully she will be back next week with all her hair.

How I Met Your Mother: I am too lazy to even bother to think about it, but I am pretty sure the show has done the three stories from three perspectives before, probably multiple times, and it it gets less interesting every time. With that said, I kind of want to watch this episode again just to see of Barney’s Austrian king actually shows up in the background somewhere.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I had the new girl pegged to be a mole, she was acting a little too weird, but I would not have guessed that she would turn out to be the opponent’s daughter. But will Toby be able to use that to his father’s advantage?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Bunheads: I did not think the show could top the weirdness Istanbul dance from last summer, but I think they may have done so with the dancing miners.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.
2 Broke Girls:

Castle: I was going to take this time to make numerous Taken jokes, but the promo monkeys already beat me to it with the previews showing an upcoming Liam Neeson joke. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Do people in the suburbs really have shower / spas like that in their homes? I defiantly need one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Go On: I am really ready for Simone to go back to wherever she came from.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: The video that Jody made for Raylan (with the aid of Paul Kinsey!) was so entertaining I will completely ignore that he really never had the time to make said video (or how implausible that basically every episode this season so far took part in less than a week). Also the show could use more Jackie Nevada. I take her over Ava, Wynona, or the barmaid from earlier this season. If you cannot get enough of Nevada, I highly recommend Raylan the book (see my review here), this episode is basically the end of the book, except there was no doubt if Raylan got any. Then again, in my experience, whenever a girl leaves the bathroom door open when she takes a shower, it is a sign she wants you to join her. Okay, that has never actually happened to me.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I really like the trend of people outing other people at tribal council who have a Hidden Immunity Idol. I do not like the trend of people claiming that they are going to use said Idol but keep it in their pocket. I also do not like how the “Player of the Week” commercial is almost always spoilery. When both Laura and Douchebag #1 (not to be confused with Douchebag #2 whose name I also have no desire to learn) were up for the award, you knew they were going to do something but they did nothing interesting before then. I am usually good at skipping the ad, but the show really needs to move it to the last commercial break to avoid such spoilers.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites on iTunes.

Modern Family: Holy Bud Bundy sighting! T is a shame that it took Al this long to get his son some work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Americans: It is weird watching this episode with all the paranoia that the Russians were behind the shooting of Ronald Regan when we now know that some crazy dude did it just to impress Jody Foster (I hear she’s currently single). I guess the closes thing similar that I can think of was when the power went out here and most of the northeastern part of the United States right after 9/11 and everyone thought it was another terrorist attack, but just turned out that our power grid just sucks. And a decade later, they still have not fixed it.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: I am now convinced the new showrunners are just fracking with us between the Stockholm Syndrome attempt and Luke Perry and Jennie Garth ruining Inspector Spacetime. This is going to be a long final season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It is weird that for a show entitled King of the Nerds, that there is only one guy that remains even though the game started out with more guys than girls. I guess it may not be all that surprising that a bunch of male nerds would get flustered with chicks around, losing ever head to head gender battle in the Nerd Off. Now will the chicks band together to make sure Ivan (like when Parvati won Survivor) or with the self implode and let the guy win (like that season with Eliza)? Actually come to think of it, has there ever been an all male final on Survivor? (Researching… It has happened three times out of twenty-five seasons; five were all female)

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/17/13

Once Upon a Time: So Jack of the beanstalk fame was a chick? Alrighty. About as realistic as watching Hurley trying to run. I also like the promo monkeys making it sound like the reveal of Mr. Gold’s son is going to eb a shocking reveal as anyone who has watched has already figured out that his son is also Henry’s baby daddy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It is common knowledge that the second season of the show just is not as entertaining as the first. I would argue that the Jump the Shark moment was when it was revealed that it was not Daniel who died as witnessed during the series premiere but the Rent Boy instead. And it looks like the show is going to pull that cheap storytelling again this season as it was teases that Jack would end up at the bottom of the ocean at some point but will not actually pull it off as I bet the evil dock owner is the one that will end up dead. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: So after coherently invading Woodbury and successfully saving Glen, Maggie, and then Daryl, Rick is bat-ish crazy again. Yep, seems right. Welcoming back The Walking Dead.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Just when you think the show has run out of new ways to offend the audience, a third Malkovich child shows up with an extra package. Apparently nothing came out of Frank calling child services a couple weeks ago, but I am beginning to think maybe a representative should start showing up on set.

House of Lies: I try to avoid anything that involves Matt Damon and got tired of actors playing a douchebag version of themselves a long time ago, but this may have been the most entertaining episode of the show yet.

Switched at Birth: Is it wrong that I started yelling “Deaf Fight!!!” during this episode? Please do not answer that, I already know the answer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Just when you think this was going to be another episode where the writers beat an already not very funny joke into the ground, out walks Mike Tyson. Well done writers, well done.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: I wonder why Ryland and his mother are perpetrating Bobby lie that he shot him. Does Ryland actually not remember and his mommy told him who shot him? As much as they hate Anne, why not let her rot in jail?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: O wow, I was actually right that the dude from the John Laraquette Show was actually Mia father. And now I am beginning to think he killed Edward’s one night stand to have leverage over the Bowers family. But even if the statute of limitations of statutory rape runs out after five years, would accessory to murder still get him jail time. I may just have to move him up on my list of suspect to number two after step-mommy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Huh, it looked like Jason’s flashback was going to show what happened after Mr. Montgomery got threatened by Allison and then Spencer’s sister walked out of her house, but instead of Allison, Jason saw… CeCe? Huh? Maybe it is CeCe is the red coat that is the Master A. And where did Jason go? Unles the Liars are that unobservant that h would just slip by, did he really jump out of the window after falling down an elevator shaft?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: I guess I was not the only one who thought Major Dad was also Drew Thompson. Granted until I see his high school wrestling pictures under the name Josiah, I would be highly suspicious that he still is. But if Major Dad is not Drew Thompson, who is? Since the show like to recycle its guest stars, I have a feeling we have already met him (for half a second, I actually thought that Arlo may be Drew Thompson, but Raylan is too old to not know his father changed his name). Could it be the half naked judge from News Radio? Sherriff Shelby? Constable Bob? Wynn Duffy? Please oh, please let it be Dewey Crowe.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder if Gunner and Scarlett ditch Avery’s band just like Avery did. They get wind that Rayna may want to sign them, and no mention of the other guys. I guess with a show with this name, someone needs to stay in Nashville.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Holy Mags Bennett sighting! You knew when Mags showed up in dinner, she was not going to be just some random creepy chick; the only question would be if she were KGB or FBI (or some other three letter agency). It turns out she is the new KGB boss and has no problem killing a chick. But I guess that was the only reasonable outcome (again showing again just how soft the Jennings are getting), with the kid going to his grandparents in Mother Russia.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Note to the new showrunner: no more Scary Annie please.  It is not brain surgery, put her in highly GIF-able situations.  No need to over-think things when it comes to her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/10/13

How I Met Your Mother: They really should have saved most of the Abby Elliot (I wonder if she is going to run into her real life father and Lily’s fake dad) storyline for next week and devoted ninety-five percent of the episode to Robin Sparkles Daggers. The show is always at its best when it makes fun of Canada, and Robin’s Underneath the Music was the most memorable skit this show has done in recent memory. Hats off for getting Dave Coulier to come in and insist the song is not about him in a not so subtle nod to the rumor that Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know is about him. Now if only Bob Saget can get Kimmie Gibbler out of retirement.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Well that was an ending I did not see coming. Assistant Director Skinner finally makes the title sequence, and then gets gunned down. Unfortunately that pretty much spoils if he survives the gunshot. Although that would be a great misdirect if they put him in the credits only to kill him off in episode three. (Rumor has it Joss Whedon wanted to put Eric Balfour in the credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer only to kill him off in the two part series premiere but was not allowed because of financial reasons.)
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: Apparently the NYPD needs to hire me as a consultant because it seems like I am always one step ahead of their investigation. Like this week, as soon as they found the car, my first thought was why would someone kill someone else in front of their car and not use it to transport the body instead leaving the car there with plenty of incriminating evidence inside for a day or two.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: Wait, Mia’s real father cannot possibly be the dude from the John Laraquette show, can it? It has to be him or someone we have not met yet (unless they want to go even ickier and make Julian the father).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I’m with Spencer, (in only one respect), there is no reason to eulogize Alison again. They did it at her last funeral and presumably when she first went missing and presumed dead. I am not with Spencer for going crazy just because she learned her creepy boyfriend, that she believed less than a year ago killed one of her friends, turned out to really be evil. And finally someone on the show actually stated a theory that I have had since the first episode when Hannah, who of course has always been my favorite, actually questioned if Allison is actually alive. Who else could have been the blonde in the red coat? CeCe? Everyone else on the show I can think of has dark hair except the chick Emily dated a couple of seasons ago.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Last week I pondered how long it would be until Ellie May teams up with the preacher’s sister to exact revenge on Boyd. Maybe the preacher’s sister is insignificant as Ellie May ended up in the sheriff’s house this week as the lawman looks like he wants to go legit and bring down the Crowder Empire. This would be much more interesting than what I thought was going to happen (though I have a feeling that we have not seen the last of the sister).

I got a sinking suspicion that Josiah may turn out to be Drew Thompson. C’mon, you do not bring in Major Dad to be a dude who sends out his daughter to steal pipe. And what better reason to cut off your own foot if a ruthless druglord who you stole money from is close on your tail? (I always thought the home monitors had heat sensors so such things could not occur, maybe I watch too many of these types of shows.) So either Major Dad is Drew Thompson or the real Drew I the person that kidnapped him.

It was also nice to see shocked Wynn Duffy back. His reactions were always the best and watching the dude from Yes Dead shoot an FBI agent in the head was another classic Wynn look.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Modern Family: I do not like how they made a joke out of Cat's In the Cradle, one of the greatest tales ever recorded in the history of storytelling.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Subugatory: It is amazing how close to racism they can get away with. That is not to say I did not enjoy Triple A. I actually would not mind more trips to East Chatswin. But I wondered why Dallas just did not sell off enough of her East Chatswinian land to make her a majority Chatswin Proper resident.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Nashville: Ooo, the show totally put Taylor Swift on blast with Juliet’s storyline this week. Btu it is weird they are trying to turn her into a real artist when at the start of the series they had to auto-tune her in the studio. Now she is singing acoustically live… with no back up dancers? Pretty soon she will be touring with The Lumineers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: Kind of clever of the new showrunners to have a tongue in cheek “regular” sitcom inside the show, but they went one joke too far with Inception parody.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Genevieve definitely had reason to hate on Kevin Smith because he jobbed her in that debate. She won that debate going away. Oh well, at least she won the Nerd Off. Seriously, how are you dubbed the “Batman Expert” and lose a comic book trivia challenge? Even I was able to get two questions right and I am not an expert or even studied. Granted one I just guessed, but I was able to guess the right year Superman was introduced before the choices were even announced.

Best of the Week - 2/2/13

Quote of the Week: I am just here to look my enemy in the eye and since your daddy is two feet shorter than I am, I guess you’ll have to do. (J.R. Ewing, Dallas)

Song of the Week: In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (The Americans)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Deer Antlers Are the New Cow Steroids: It is clear that athletes will do anything to get ahead. A week after Lance Armstrong admitted that he was doping during all of his Tour de France championships, possible double murderer Ray Lewis (just ask Wes Welker’s wife) was accused of injecting himself with deer antlers which apparently are the fastest growing animal part in the world. Despite denying it, it seems plausible because, well, all athletes clearly cheat now a days, there is no way to test for deer antler juice, and Lewis got back from an arm injury a couple months ahead of schedule. So for those unsure of who to root for this Sunday, you probably should not root for the murdering cheaters.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Morning Mornings premieres Monday at 10:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: One – U2 (Google Play)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month’s five dollar album deals include Prince, R.E.M., Jewel, and Ctpress Hill:


New Album Release of the Week: Smokey Mary - Harry Connick Jr.

New DVD Release of the Week: Peter Pan (Two-Disc Diamond Edition Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging)

Video of the Week: Last year History broke records with their Hatfields & McCoys miniseries and in a month from now (3/3/13) they look to keep that momentum going with their next dramatization of historical events with the nine episode scripted series Vikings starring Gabriel Byrne and Jessalyn Gilsig. Check out the latest promo below:


Next Week Pick of the Week: Community, Thursday at 8:00 on NBC: NBC seems to be cleaning house in the comedy department this year canceling The Office, 30 Rock, switching Up All Night to being filmed in front of a studio audience and the green lighting broader comedies like Go On and The New Normal. So canning its creator, being relegated to Fridays before getting an early February premiere date, it may be safe to assume that Community will not be featuring fifth year seniors next season. Chevy Chase has even already folded up shop a couple episodes early. So enjoy these last thirteen episodes before the show likely joins 30 Rock and The Office in the Peacock dustbin. Hopefully Alison Brie will have already have a new show or two lined up for next fall by then because with no more Community and Pete Campbell getting an apartment in the city, I fear there may not be much Alison Brie on my television come 2014.

Best of the Week - 1/26/13

Quote of the Week: Break out the white sunglasses and the Dane Cook CD because you and I are going out raging tomorrow night with the Douchebag Twins! (Marty Kaan, House of Lies)

Song of the Week: One Week – Barenaked Ladies (as sung by Sheila’s Pets, Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Barck Obama Inaugurated... Again: Can someone explain to me why a sitting president needs to be swore in again at the beginning of his second term? Is once not enough? Just seems like a waste of time and money. But if there is one thing the government is good at it is wasting time and money.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Dallas Season 2 Premiere Monday at 9:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: True North – Bad Religion (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Babel (Deluxe Edition) by Mumford and Sons for only $3.99.

New Album Release of the Week: Heartthrob - Tegan and Sara

New DVD Release of the Week: Pan Am - The Complete Series

Video of the Week: A week and a half until the triumphant return of Community (sans creator Dan Harmon and Chevy Chase who followed him out near the end of filming the season). To tide you over the final twelve days of its hiatus, here is a musical mash-up from the show.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Americans, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX: As we enter this cold winter without Homeland, we have to find something to keep us warm until its return in September. Hopefully The Americans can fill the void even though instead of the CIA, it is the KGB… in the eighties. But if it is half as good as Homeland, or network-mate Justified, I will be happy. I just have a fear that Keri Russell will have me rooting for the Russians by the end of the season.

Best of the Week - 11/24/12

Quote of the Week: She sent us a biter-gram yo. (Merle, The Walking Dead)

Song of the Week: Love Hurts – Nazareth (Go On)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Chevy Chase Leaves Community: Although this begs the question is it really leaving the show two episodes before the presumed series finale is filmed? That is like a teacher retiring during finals week.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Free Download of the Week: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear - Norah Jones (iTunes)

Deal of the Week:



New Album Release of the Week: Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys

New DVD Release of the Week: Men in Black 3

Video of the Week: The latest chapters debuted last night and and as soon as they hit the internets, I will post them here.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Leverage, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT: Leverage returns this week, on a Tuesday instead of its usual Sundays following Rizzoli and Isles, to air the final five episodes of its fifth season going up against a big box company that is destroying a small town. For those that do the math, yes that means the season finale will fall on Christmas night. If my memory serves me correctly, it aired on Christmas (and New Year's Day) last year too.

The Best Television Shows of 2011-12

The very first year I ranked television shows was the hardest to pick the best show as I wrestled between Veronica Mars and Lost (remember when Lost was actually a great show, that was a long time ago). Since then Veronica Mars and Friday Night Lights took the top crown every year. And with both shows off the air, I had a harder choice than that first year. So without further ado, the ten best shows of the past year.

1. Homeland, Season 1 (Showtime)

2. Justified, Season 3 (FX)

3. Mike Judge's Beavis and Butt-Head, Season 8 (MTV)

4. Parenthood, Season 3 (NBC)

5. Suburgatory, Season 1 (ABC)

6. Revenge, Season 1 (ABC)

7. Mad Men, Season 5 (AMC)

8. Once Upon a Time, Season 1 (ABC)

9. The Big Bang Theory, Season 5 (CBS)

10. Community, Season 3 (NBC)





Below is a running tally for the past year of shows that had a Quote or Song of the week during my weekly television round up.

Quote of the Week
The Big Bang Theory – 7
Justified – 5
Rescue Me – 4
Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 –2
Friday Night Lights – 2
Homeland – 2
Leverage – 2
Modern Family – 2
Parenthood – 2
Survivor - 2
The Voice – 2
Weeds – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
Castle – 1
The Challenge – 1
Community – 1
Dallas - 1
Death Valley – 1
Mad Men – 1
Pretty Little Liars – 1
Shameless – 1


Song of the Week
Mad Men – 5
Pretty Little Liars – 4
Suburgatory – 4
Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 – 3
How I Met Your Mother – 3
Community – 2
Friday Night Lights - 2
The Lying Game – 2
Modern Family – 2
Rescue Me – 2
Shameless – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
Bent – 1
The Big Bang Theory – 1
Chuck – 1
Free Agents – 1
Happy Endings – 1
Homeland – 1
Justified – 1
Men at Work – 1
Parenthood – 1
Revenge - 1
Saturday Night Live – 1
Weeds – 1

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/20/12

Once Upon a Time: I call shenanigans. How it is after countless numbers of times that Emma has touched the book that this time is the time she touched it and all the saddened started to believe? Shenanigans. And why, at this point, does no one go with true love’s kiss to begin with? It popped in my mind last week when Henry first ate the turnover yet no one realized that it could cure him until after it happened. I am a bit surprised that the curse ended up breaking at the end of the first season finale. So are there going to be any fairytale flashbacks next season? It seems silly if there is going to be magic and everyone knows their past in the real world.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Like last week when all I could think about was why is Rory Gilmore giving it up to the obnoxious Pete Campbell (and what the frack was Mr. Belding doing there), this week all I could think of after the episode was why was Rory Gilmore topless on Mad Men? I vaguely remember Betty eating whip cream out of a can and the Jewish alien throwing a hissy fit, but the stunt casting on the show this season is really getting distracting. Almost as distracting: titling the episode Dark Shadows the same week the movie reboot is released to theaters.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: The first half reminded me of the most recent Community clip show that was not an actual clip show where the writers complied all their half baked ideas into one show. The second half was pretty predictable as I saw Barney proposing to Quinn via magic trick only for the bride turning out to be Robin miles away, the same for Victoria showing up to the bar on her wedding day with Ted driving her back to the church. Granted I did not see him driving past it. Not that I really mind because much like Robin, I think Victoria is the best girlfriend Ted has had and certainly the only one I would like see ending up the mother. Though it would be hard to explain how she turns out to be the mother if Ted met the mother at Barney’s wedding as previously stated.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Holy James Ingram< sighting! I actually thought James was going to turn out to be Lisa’s real father but I guess her brother is still in play. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: I am always against the “x amount of time early” cold open to an episode, but to promise a death early on only for it to turn out to be a dog is cruel and inhumane. Just how many death sequences can one show screw up?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: For the second half the season, it has been fun watching each episode trying to figure out the exact moment where Chevy Chase really got fed up with the absurd storyline. I think we had a winner with the 8-bit episode. As much as I loved the old school Nintendo games, it was hard not to think that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World’s ode to the time period in gaming was much better with its live action homage. And it is odd that they ended the season not with the epic heist episode but the more low key (or as low key as an episode with an evil doppelganger trying to hack off someone’s arm can be) trail episode especially since they just did a Law and Order episode not too long ago. It was like the season Buffy the Vampire Slayer vanquished the Big Bad in the penultimate episode and spent the finale dreaming about cheese.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/13/12

Once Upon a Time: There was nothing more predictable this week than Emma not being the one that ate the apple. Although I did think maybe Mary Margret would be taking the bite over Henry as a juxtaposition of her eating it in the fairy tale land. But nothing was more entertaining than the fairies joining the battle to storm the castle.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: The show is supposedly the best written show but I it is so profoundly written, why is it when I sat down to write about the show the only thing that comes to my mind is what the frack was Mr. Belding, who apparently has been spending the last decade doing nothing but eating Cool Whip, doing there? (I vaguely remember Megan quitting or something and Don hating The Beatles). And if the former Bayside principal was not distracting enough, there was Pete Campbell nailing Rory Gilmore to increase the nineties nostalgia even more after Ken Cosgrove married Alex Mack (and her father Leland Palmer). Who’s next on the casting couch: Kimmy Gibler? The chick from My Two Dads?
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: After such a strong season it is head scratching that this was finals. With only Jermaine Paul being the only contestant that was better than any of the finalists last season I could not bring myself to watch either episodes this week. After America constantly got everything wrong (with some help from the coaches) this season, I was shocked to learn the voting for the finals went the way it should have: Jermaine, Juliet Simms, Tony Lucca with Chris Mann coming in dead last. I laugh at any notion that the Christina-Adam feud hurt Tony and Chris because they earned their finishing spots and should thank their coaches for taking them a lot further than they deserved. If Adam and Christina hurt anyone it was themselves because they were so focused on destroying each other they let people that may not have come in last place go like Lindsey Pavao, Jesse Campbell, Mathai, or Katrina Parker. So congratulations to Christina on her second straight last place finish even though she came out of the Blind Auditions with the strongest team. Maybe next season you do not take your ninth best team member to the finals with you. Even though I did not bother to watch the finale, there is one performance I checked out the next day:



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Castle: It is inevitable for a show built around an antagonist relationship of two characters of different gender that they will eventually hook up if the show stays on the air long enough, but that was a horrible ending for the episode and season. Well almost ending as there was one last scene to remind us that Kate’s mom’s case is still wide open. They better solve it by the end of next season (preferably much earlier). They already hinted at some sort of conspiracy surrounding Castle’s dad, how about solve Mama Beckett’s murder and move onto the mystery of Papa Castle? Unless he is the mysterious boss behind Mama Beckett’s murder (which I suspected when they first brought him up).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Oh Kat, you can take the girl out of the game but you just cannot keep her quite. I was surprised to learn that Christina turned out to be one of Alicia’s “minions.” Didn’t Alicia once suggest to Christina that she should jump in the fire so she did not have to wait an extra day before being voted out? Is this some sort of Stockholm Syndrome situation?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: Holy Dylan sighting! As everyone has spent the last couple months complaining how the show isn’t funny anymore, I think it is clear what was missing this season was Dylan who has not been seen since the season premiere when the Dunfy family left him at the dude ranch. Hopefully he is the spark that can get the fourth season back on track. Maybe a Dylan-Hayley wedding is in order.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Revenge: I am a bit surprised that we had an origins story that did not feature the sensei. Maybe that is for the next flashback episode next season.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: Didn’t they already do a clip show that wasn’t a real clip show before? Although I get a sense that we got a glimpse of the series finale with everyone being a part of a mental institute. You know the ending is going to be some sort of head trip (assuming they get a proper ending). And somehow insane Annie managed to be hotter than regular neurotic Annie.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/6/12

Once Upon a Time: Thankfully they actually revealed that August was Pinocchio early in the episode and did not wait until the end of it (or next season; these are the writers of Lost) considering anyone who watch the promo could put two and two together. And it looks like I was right that the writer of the book was a stowaway in the magic wardrobe with Emma. But August has no one to blame but himself for his predicament, seriously dude, if a fairy who gave you life tells you not to lie to continue being a real boy: don’t lie. Instead as soon as his leg turns to wood, he actually doubles down on the lying.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: I may be just as traumatized as Sally after watching this episode.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: I was one of the few people that defended Christina Aguilera this season saying she had a plan and was sticking to it even if she was going to be heavily criticized for it. I thought she was going to do whatever was necessary to get Lindsey Pavao to the finals even if that meant eliminating her other frontrunner and trashing singers on other teams that did not deserve the votes they were getting. But after this week it is clear she had no plan and just had personal grudges against Jesse Campbell, Tony Lucca, Adam Levine, and probably more. Seriously, how does she go out of her way to implore that Adam give Katrina Parker extra points and then split her own 50/50? Christina had the weakest finalist last season and even though she went into the Live Rounds this season, she still managed to have the weakest finalist again this season. Who is voting for Chris Mann? The guy is a fifth rate opera singer who had the second worst selling song on iTunes and yet he somehow beat the person with the second highest selling song (and number one overall this season). That just does not pass the smell test. The Voice really needs to make some changes before it starts to be as unwatchable as American Idol because as strong as the singers were this season, they came up with a pretty lackluster finals.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from this week with the widget at right.

Castle: The show is at its best when it goes absurd (zombies!?!) yet still stays within the realm of reality. But I do not think a forced confession like that is going to hold up in the court of law. Wouldn’t it have been better to hold him longer on drug charges and try to smoke him out that way? I guess it would have not been as much fun.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: How dare they actually vote out Kat? I am so upset right now, my two favorite reality competitors eliminated on consecutive days. Why do you hate me Reality Gods? At least Kat went out with a bang. I loved after picking two people that did not deserve a reward, she says, "Let me explain" and just when you think she would say something profound or at least reasonable she says, "I just want to get drunk with these girls." Awesome. Then she complains that Kim wins everything right after she won the reward challenge and how mad she was losing to a twenty-eight year old. Then gleefully talk about how great it would be to blindside Sabrina at Tribal Council right before being blindsided. Le sigh. I miss her already. Hopefully she really does annoy Probst until he lets her on the show again. But I have to say to those that did blindsided Kat: coolbeans and touché.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Community: The Voice should be even more embarrassed thatChris Mann’s version of Ave Maria was not even the best version of that song on the network this week. Garrett out.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: So the big conspiracy behind the accident has to do with heroin? They really cannot distribute it with Britton still in town? There has to be more to this story.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/29/12

Once Upon a Time: Being from “writers of Lost,” very early in the episode it became blatantly obvious to me that the mysterious writer was Rumplestiltkin’s son (I cannot believe I did not think of this before even though during the Beauty and the Beast episode I wondered whatever happened to his son) and though it was blatantly obvious I assumed that it was Lost writers at the helm we would have to wait two seasons for the reveal. But low and behold they actually gave it to us by the end of the episode. Except it turned out not to be his son.

Which begs the question which storybook character is the mysterious writer. Oh wait, the promo monkeys pretty much spoiled that, oh never mind. And for a spell the Blue Fairy said cannot be replicated, there seemed to be a couple of storybook characters that made it to the real world without the curse like Emma and her magic wardrobe and mysterious writer (and possibly whoever the writer was talking to about speeding up the plan; actually I would not be surprised if we get an entire season of flashbacks of storybook characters in the real world if the show lasts that long).
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Kind of a cheap Lost-type storytelling for the episode. But all is forgiven with the Roger Sterling on LSD scene (but not for Peggy’s extracurricular activities in the movie theater).
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.


The Voice: I defended Tony Lucca two weeks ago against Christina Aguilera’s harsh comments and what does Tony do in his very next performance: give a very one dimensional performance. When The Voice started, the producers and coaches were all altruistic talking about not having any joke performances, but Tony’s performance was such a joke it rivals that of Erin Martin. It was such big of a joke; his backing band might as well have been William Hung and his Hung Jury. But I guess it could have been worse, when I realized they had not announced what song he was singing, I thought, “Oh my God, he’s actually going to sing Genie in a Bottle.”

But after every elimination and Save last week seeming to be controversial (though Jordis Unga seemed the right choice for Blake to send home), a pretty uneventful time for eliminations this week with James Massone and Pip rightfully getting the Instant Eliminations (though the teen girl voting bloc may disagree). I could quibble that Mathai was more entertaining than Katrina Parker, but it is hard to argue against her and Juliet Simms got through (though I could argue that much like Chris Mann last week, the two girls were much more deserving of the public’s vote but unlike Chris it was pretty obvious Tony was getting through). Really the most shocking event that happened this week was that Pip performed sans bowtie before James ditched his headband. Certainly did not see that coming.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download songs from this episode using the widget at right.

Survivor: One World: I always love the pecking order challenges because it shows everyone where they stand in the tribe. Unfortunately only a few people on the bottom of the totem pole have taken advantage of the situation and it looks like it will not happen again this season unless Kat can hatch a master plan instead of just complaining about it. And Kat managed to be the dumbest person this week. Seriously, how does Alicia, a Special Education teacher not know how IQ work?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Revenge: As someone who is meticulous and calculating as Emily is, how could she think her father’s murder was just a random jailhouse fight? Of course the Grayson’s were behind the killing. It should have at least clicked when she saw how Vicki could get to her son on the inside.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: The show needs more Roasts in the future.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: Sometimes the show tries so hard in being spot on with their parodies and being clever they forget to actually be funny. This week was one of those times.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: Of course Pierre Chang had a broken arm. But anyway. I wondered the deeper they got into the move what could the possible reason they would have to end up staying (you knew they were never going to go to Oregon) and having a grandkid is a very worthy excuse.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/22/12

Mad Men: How disappointing that Trudy Campbell did not do the Zoo Be Zoo dance at her dinner party. On the bright side, I finally got to see someone beat the crap out of her husband which I have waited to happen since the first season.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: If I were Mark Burnett, my mantra for The Voice would be “Don’t be American Idol.” Idol is a painfully bad amateur karaoke contest and The Voice has pretty much done everything right in two season (sure I can knick pick some of the coach’s decision *cough*Erin Martin*cough*) even the phrasing they use is better than Idol. Contestants are eliminated on Idol. Singers on The Voice “win” battles. Then in the Live Shows there are America’s “Saves” and Coach “Saves”, very positive words. But The Voice had an epic fail this week by introducing Instant Elimination. “Elimination”: a very negative word. If anything should be eliminated it is the Instant Eliminations next season.

Sure Blake Shelton went the easy and obvious root by chopping off Jordis who did not receive America’s vote last round and gave another mediocre performance. Christina Aguilera had a much tougher decision because he save last time, Ashley De La Rosa gave the strongest performance of the night. With that said, I still thought going into the elimination that Jesse Campbell was the most safe, Ashley still would have been a safe pick to go, Lindsey Pavao has been the front runner on the team but gave a very bland performance, and I thought Chris Mann was most likely to go after a painful performance and a string of boring performance. But Christina booting Jesse is the most shocking moment in two seasons of The Voice. Christina just cannot win, prior to the elimination she had the moment of the night when she and a couple male strippers serenaded Blake with Hillbilly Bone and no one is talking about that because of the elimination.

Almost as disappointing as Jesse’s elimination was Lindsey’s performance. I was ready to pronounce her the winner after her amazing performance of Say Aah and her performances of Heart Shape Box and Somebody That I Used to Know were weirdly awesome, but Part of Me just did not work. What’s worse is when she announced she was going to perform Rihanna I thought to myself, “wow, this should be interesting, I can’t wait to hear what she does with this medley (assuming her medley was not an actually medley like Moses Stones) but when she changed it to Katy Perry, my first thought was, “Ugg.” (I pretty much had the same reaction when Naia Kete went from doing a reggae version of Turning Tables to a straight version of the song; seriously, someone needs to take away his Adele album before we are stuck hearing Jermaine Paul’s version of Rumour Has It).

As shocking as it was, Jesse being shown the door was not even the most surprising moment of the week as I was much more shocked when Carson announced Chris Mann was saved by America, looking at Christina’s feigned clapping and Adam’s blank face after the reveal, I was not the only one that did not see this coming. If Christina thinks Tony Lucca is one-dimensional, what does she think of Chris? Is there such a thing as a fourth of a dimension? The guy is a bore and his version of Viva la Vida was painfully bad and was the only time this season I considered muting the television that did not involve Erin Martin. What is worse is that he was the least selling contestant from his team on iTunes. There is a significant flaw in the voting system of The Voice when the worst selling artist can get voted through especially when it is at the expense of the person who sold the most (who was Ashley this week). I suggested this last season and I am going to again, they should give equal weight to each voting method: 33% for online voting, 33% for phone calls, and 33% for iTunes sale. That way the people who use their hard earned money to support their favorite contestants are not drowned out by the fanatics that create hundreds fake accounts to stuff the ballot for less deserving contestants like Chris.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download music from this week in the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Nothing depressed me this week more than realizing I am Ted when it comes to living without a roommate.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Someone should have told Max that yes the government takes taxes right out of her paycheck, but if she filed her tax returns she makes so little she would probably get almost all of that back.

Castle: If there is not a Slaughter spin-off on ABC’s schedule next season I am going to be severely disappointed. At the very least he better show up in at least five episodes next season (and one more this season). I worried a little that we did not see him again because when Beckett took over the case I thought they were going to have it that Slaughter set the whole thing up and murdered Glitch.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Ever since the introduction of the auction into the game I have wondered why no one goes, I would rather pocket the $500 dollar because I am certainly not spending that kind of money on a bowl of peanut butter and Tarzan finally put his money to practical use. Until he changed his mind. As befuddling is when people who clearly on the bottom of their alliances are content to get max sixth (unless you can win immunity that round) place instead of a guaranteed fifth place and a possibility of a win. But on the bright side, we are almost guaranteed to have more Kat, who cannot grasp the concept of an auction at $20 increments or what the “B” in BLT stands for, in our lives, at least to the final four, and that is fine by me.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Oh Alicia Silverstone, where have you been these last lonely fifteen years. Can we just go ahead and add her to the cast already?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: It is about time Vicky’s former life caught up to her, unfortunately Emily did not stick around to see it. And just what was Emily doing making a spare key from the thug that sent a “message” to Daniel in pison?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: After this episode, I am beginning to understand Chevy Chase’s voice mail rants. But then again, who can complain too much when there are double Annie Edision’s involved.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.