57 Channels and Only This Is On - 11/11/12

Once Upon a Time: So the due from the start of the season turned out to be Henry’s dad. I figured it was either that or he was going to turn out to be Mr. Gold’s son. But did they really have to wait until the sixth episode to show the guy again? I completely forgot he existed until he popped up on the “previously on” segment. And why exactly are Henry and Sleeping Beauty having shared dreams. I guess we will have to wait until episode twelve (at the earliest) for that answer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So just what is The Initiative up to now? Although I would rather know at this point why exactly they downed that aircraft first. And what exactly is Emily’s end game for Mason Treadwell because he basically has already figured out who she is. Is she going to use him as a pawn or is he going to end up with the White Haired Man?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Just when you thought the election would cause the most joy this week (at least for the socialists), the show had to go and kill off Lori. And they had to do it very graphically as her baby was cut right out of her as she was left to bleed to death until her son ended her suffering. Ouch. It was about as close as a zombie baby eat its way out as all the fanboys wanted as you could get. I love how the show this season has said, forget plot, forget character growth, let’s just gross everyone out. Oh yeah, T-Dawg died too.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Homeland: I finally caught up on this season and at the end of last season I thought the show would have been better if Brody either blew himself up or got caught and now that Brody is now a triple agent I am beginning to think I was right. And even though the genesis was a great, Oh Crap moment, I do not really care about the whole privileged boy kills a nobody with Dana being caught in a moral dilemma storyline. But the show continues to keep you on your toes like when the Arab Swat Team (including the nameless dude working with Roya) came in and killed everyone. And that was a big box,

The Voice: Oh America, how could you have gotten things so wrong, but oh so right. Let’s start from least to most surprising (which not so surprisingly is how they were revealed this week). It was pretty obvious that the three that would move on from Team Adam would be Amanda (who gave not only the best performance of the week, but of the whole season), Bryan, and Melanie; even though I thought Melanie would get the America’s vote with Adam saving Bryan. It is nice to see America was not fooled by Melane’s façade and she may not be around much longer (though I bet all of Christina’s team will be gone first).

The America’s Vote for Blake’s Team was obvious wit Cassadee and Terry breezing through. It was mildly surprisingly that Blake went with Michaela over the country girl Liz Davis and the Lou Diamond Philips endorsed Julio Cesar Castillo even though Michaela did have the slightly better performance of the three this week. Which begs the question, what happened to the Last Chance performances? I quite enjoyed those.

Now on to the more shocking results. It was not all that surprising that Sylvia got through by America because she had the standout performance with her piano enhanced version of a Katy Perry song (though I wonder just how much she was playing because I could still her the piano being played when she lifted her hand off the instrument, and could she have picked a song that was not already preformed this season; actually everyone just needs to stop singing Katy Perry on the show period). But I was severely disappointed that America also chose Dez over the much more entertaining De'Borah or one of the hot chicks. Seriously, why is it that the horrible cute boys always get through but never the mediocre hot chicks? And just when you think Christina was going to correct America’s wrong by sending De’Borah through, she picks one of the hot chicks. She did not even pick the better hot chick either. Carson crowed that everyone contestant this week charted on iTunes, but Adriana barely cracked the top 200 on the Pop charts while Devyn was in the top 100. (Laughable, as all twenty of The Voice contestants charted on iTunes, only one from The X-Factor charted on the Top 200.)

Now for the most shocking result of the week, I figured Dez being picked by America was a harbinger that the even less talented but cuter MacKenzie Bourg would also be pushed through by the annoying teen girl faction. Adam even laughably called MacKenzie an “American Idol” after his performance, a not so suitably dig the other show’s penchant for crowning mediocre cute boys who play guitar. Thankfully America ended up picking the best two singers in Trevin and the great but awesomely strange looking Nickolas while Cee-Lo made a rare good decision (granted his Live Show decisions do tend to be much better than his Battle Round decisions in saving Cody. De’Borah may have gone home too soon, but at least we will still have at least one more week of little Bam Bam.

Next week is when the real playoffs begin because for the first time anyone from any team can go home, not just one or two from each team. Ever since the announcement I assumed Team Christina would be the first three out (which makes me wonder if Christina is just a horrible judge of talent or if she sabotaged her team so they would be the first out so she could focus on promoting her new album out this week). Adriana is most; likely first out the door followed by either Dez, unless the teen girls rise up after the loss of MacKenzie, or Sylvia, unless she can pull another performance out like this week. But I have a feeling Christina’s three, along with Michaela, will be the first four out. At any rate, here is my personal Power Rankings of the Top 12:

Top 12 Power Rankings

1. Amanda Brown
2. Nicholas David
3. Trevin Hunte
4. Cassadee Pope
5. Cody Belew
6. Terry McDermott
7. Sylvia Yacoub
8. Michaela Paige
9. Brian Keith
10. Adriana Louise
11. Melanie Martinez
12. Dez Duron

One last thing: did they really air a Tweet from disgraced Senator David Vitter? You know, the family values candidate who got caught paying for prostitutes; and still managed to get reelected after the scandal. And people wonder why everyone hates Congress so much; stupid people in stupid states keep on reelecting stupid people like Vitter. When will people learn we need to vote out all the bums, even if they have your favorite letter next to their name.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Castle: I was a bit disappointed that during a heavy sci-fi episode they did not bring in more stunt casting other than Principal Snyder. But it was still pretty funny and entertaining at any rate.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: Probst loves talking in hyperbole, but I have to agree that this was one of the biggest mess of a tribal council ever. Occasionally you may have one person lay all the cards on the table as a last gasp, or out of spite at Tribal Council, but this is the first time when almost everyone laid out all their cards. Of course Malcolm pretty much had to confess to having the Idol and he was using it (which he wisely did not), but I was flabbergasted when Probst sarcastically asked if anyone wanted to show theirs only for Abi to comply. Then you had you had two people openly lobbing for voted laying out their plans. And of course Tribal was capped off by a bizarre vote because for some reason Penner voted for Abi instead of Pete like the rest of his alliance. I do not know if he thought the other alliance was voting for Malcolm and Abi would give Pete her Idol and his brilliant vote would end up being the only one that counted or he did it out of spite for his alliance turning on him last week. At any rate, a great episode. I have said it before and I will say it again, Survivor needs to cast many more morons. But the biggest loser of all was Jeff Kent who wanted so bad to make sure he made it further than Penner he made a horrible decision last week and still ended up leaving before Penner. This is why he went on Survivor after baseball instead of becoming a manager.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Did no one else notice the awesomely creepy painting of Hayley and Dylan hanging in her dormroom wall?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Subugatory: The show is the funniest on television but the one misstep it takes is the crappy title sequence. Well at least I now that the title is the fault of Tessa’s mother.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Nashville: Is it wrong that I was really enjoyed when Juliet got slapped?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: As much a I enjoyed watching San Diego imploding, Brooklyn made a serious tactical error by picking the behemoth on the team to go in. Sure you would think he would not do well in a mental challenge, but that challenge is really only a mental challenge for the female and for the guy it is more about strength and endurance, the behemoth’s strong points. If Brooklyn wanted to send someone home from San Diego home, they should have chosen Frank (who was wise not to volunteer) who I do not think could have made it to the bottom of the tank.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.

Last Resort: There are fewer things I have more than dream sequences and hallucinations are just dream sequences when you are awake.
You can stream recent episodes on Last Resort on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 11/4/12

Once Upon a Time: After a year of wondering, it turns out Dr. Whale is… Dr. Frankenstein? Alrighty. When he was first introduced as a wizard, I actually thought he would turn out to be the Wizard of Oz (okay, my first thought was, oh goodness, he is not going to be Harry Potter is he) when they talked about his ability to transport to places without magic. So what world exactly does Dr. Frankenstein live in, one where all the classic horror monsters live: Dracula, Wolfman (who I assume would end up being a love interest to Little Red Riding Hood), The Mummy, The Invisible Man. And I know they live in a world where Captain Hook looks like an Abercrombie model who does not think there is such a thing as too much eyeliner, but how can you have Igor without a hunchback?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: I thought for sure Amanda was not going to make it through surgery. I guessed she made it so Mason Treadwell could come back to cause more havoc. Of coutrse if Mason knew what was best for him he would stop snooping because the last time he got on the case, his house burned down. But I wonder if they are going to put a burn scar on Emily’s back even though I am pretty sure we have seen her in a bikini without one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: The infamous Governor has finally appeared and he and his wall of floating zombie heads lived up to the hype. Of course without television in a zombie apocalypse, what else are you going to stare at hours on end than a wall of illuminated zombie heads? Oh yeah, and Mearle! And I have to wonder if this is the rape camp that Randell came from. I have a feeling Andrea will find out sooner than later.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Voice: Last week I wondered how they could get forty songs into two hours, I assumed they would just montage half of them, it turns out instead they just gave everyone about a minute of screen time with some really bad editing as they cut down songs. And it turns out the much ballyhooed Steal ended up being a major flop. I got a sense when lesser talent got stolen that coaches just did not want someone who would end up replacing an original tram member. Only Adam is taking a saved member to the Live Shows Playoffs even though Caitlin Michele and MarissaAnn clearly won their Knockout pairings.

That was not the only really bad decision from Blake Shelton. Even though he was the best coach when it came to making decisions in the first two seasons, he made some really bad pairings this season decimating his team. After pairing up two of his three best singers in the Battle Rounds with Suzanna Choffel and Lelia Broussard, he then paired his best two in the Knockout Rounds when he put Suzanna up against Cassadee Pope especially when Michaela Paige and Julio Cesar Castillo advanced. When it got down to the final four on his team I thought he was going to pair MarissaAnn with Cassadee and Michaela with Suzanna. Maybe Blake tipped his hand when he said the reason he paired Liz Davis and Gracia Harrison was that he did not want the two to siphoned votes from each other so he was only going to take one, so he took some weak singers (Michaela and Julio) to the Live Shows Playoffs to make it easier for his stronger singers (Cassadee and Terry) to advance.

If anything, the Knockout Round showed just how important song choice is. And for all the dude karaokers out that did not know earlier; never ever ever ever ever sign a Taylor Swift song. Like ever. Dare I say you would be much better off with some indie record that is much cooler than hers. And this week we actually had two dudes try to sing a Taylor Swift song. It was actually a big week for guys singing chick songs, which I rarely think works. Also, do not sing songs but dudes who beat on women. I thought Avery Wilson had a chance to win the whole thing but after a poor song choice, he danced himself off the show.

Even though the Steal ended up flopping because no none but Adam wanted to take them to the Live Shows Playoffs, I do wish they were still allowed one more steal during the Knockout Round. Blake could have finally gotten Caitlyn (assuming she did not reject him for the third time), Adam would finally gotten Gracia, maybe Cee-Lo takes a flyer on Suzanna, and Christina… who knows what stupid decision she would have made. Maybe Kayla Nevarez or steal MarissaAnn back. Really Caitlin was part of my favorite thing that happen this week when she was caught dancing to Nickolas performance.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Castle: Stupid credits. I actually did not think much when I saw Michael Mosley’s name at the beginning of the show, but as the evidence started to mount against Catle, I remembered, oh yeah, he was the serial killer that was never caught and he is totally setting him up. At least he showed up on screen shortly after I figured it out. But seriously, they really need to figure a way to keep the guest stars out of the beginning of the episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23: It was nice to see someone finally put fans of The Wire on blast. I will never watch the show because I never want to turn into one of those pretentious jackasses.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: After Gemma talked about overcompensating after losing a child, I thought for sure Able was a goner, and was a bit surprised with all the shocking deaths this year they stopped short of killing a kid.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: I was a big Astros fan back when I actually paid attention to baseball so I know how big an idiot Jeff Kent is so it is not surprising he has a horrible game plan on the show. Seriously, if you were so keen on getting rid of Penner, why not do it last week? Then had you stuck with him this week you would have had been the leader of the majority alliance with two former players that would be bigger targets. Now you need someone to make a dumber move than you made to get back in control of the game.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: I was super disappointed that after this episode when I went to iTunes, Tessa’s version of Sussudio was not there yet.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Grimm: Last week when the promo monkeys said there was a new, more violent, Grimm was coming to town, I thought, this is just going to be a retread of the other Slayers on Buffy. I do like that it turned out to be a Vessin who hated who he was. But you know there have to be other Grimms out there somewhere.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/14/12

Once Upon a Time: I am a bit surprised that Sleeping Beauty does not recognize Snow White. Maybe she does not recognize her without wearing a bad wig. I guess this is a different place than the Enchanted Forrest because Regina’s mom is there (I assume she got sent to the real world). And with Mr. Gold really lose all his previous life memory if he crosses the city limits; he knew who he was even with the curse in tack. But the most surprising was the mass exodus of everyone just because the Evil Queen got her magic back. Is everyone really ready to forget everything just because they are scared of her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: Holy Rebecca Logan sighting! She should really wear glasses more often. But that Grayson clan is very messed up. I am not sure who is more evil, Victoria for coming up with a plan to frame the White Haired Man by having Conrad beat the crap out of her or Conrad following her orders. But how could Emily trust the White Haired Man, he killed her father, of course he was going to try to tie up any loose ends that could get him exonerated.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

How I Met You Mother: Ted and Robin trying to burn each other on who had the better relationship is one of the dumber bits the show has done. And that is saying something.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: Sure the Battle Round still is a drag, but I really do love the new Steal for a couple reasons. Of course what is great the some good talent that got to advance even though they lost because their coach put them up against a strong opponent or just chose the wrong singer. But my favorite inadvertent part of the steal is that point where Carson says the loser is available for a Steal and the cameras cut to the coaches staring back blindly. It is also funny how Caitlin Michele shunned Blake not once but twice. I wish they would add another steal to the Knockout Round so she could shun him a third time.

I do not know if the Steal is the cause, but it did seem the coach picked the winner more wisely this season. I was really shock that Cee-Lo made the right decision and picked Cody Belew over Domo, I thought he was going to be this season’s Erin Martin. Really the only battle this year I think the coach got wrong is when Adam picked Melanie Martinez over Caitlin, but Caitlin eventually got snatched up by Cee-Lo. And where Caitlin and Amanda Brown go rightfully picked, I had to scratch my head as to why anyone wanted to save Collin McLoughlin (especially when they let Nelly's Echo go by the wayside). Collin is so boring and bland, you could have told me he had one American Idol in the past couple years and I would have believed you.

The Voice also took another one of my suggestions by breezing through the Battle Rounds by resigning some of them to a montage. Although they should have also gone back to the four battles per hour because three per hour just drag on. Does anyone care about rehearsal time. Even though I enjoy the blander battles being resigned to the montage, you have to feel bad for someone like Lisa Scinta who managed to make it to the second round but only got about ten seconds of screen time. Hopefully they just montage the rest of Christina’s team because after the hot chick that did the backwards shimmy in the Blind Auditions, she really does not have anything left. Nathalie Hernandez was her best teen girl and she already went home.

Hopefully Nathalie is a cautionary tale to all the other fifteen year old girls out there. Natalie did have an interesting voice, but she was just way too young and lacked the experience Had she waited until she was twenty, or at the very least old enough to vote, she could have gone much further in the competition, instead she ended up just being lucky that anyone bothered to turn around for. It was also not a very good sign for that her coach’s final thought on her was that she probably should have chosen Blake instead.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.


Castle: I think this is the first time we have seen the new Captain not act like a sourpuss. Of course Castle had to go and break her toy which means she will probably be back to her old self by next episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Parenthood: The Braverman’s must not care about the recession because yet another one quit their job. Maybe the whole clan will end up working at the recording studio. Although I would guess that Julie and Joel will end up switching roles with Julia being the homemaker and Joel will go back to work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I am not sure I will be able to watch the next season of Justified after seeing Boyd Crowder with humongous breasts riding a dude with a belly that was even better.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: This season got boring quick. Just have the one dude go to one tribe and the chick to the other and let’s just essentially start this season over.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: So is Haley going to be resigned to webchats for the rest of the season? Seriously, why not just spin her off with her and Dylan living together?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/7/12

Once Upon a Time: Of course “The writers of Lost” had to start off season two with a non sequitur. But I could have sworn we learned just who Desmond was by the end of the episode. We will have to wait at least a week to figure out just who the dude from Terriers is. I originally thought he was Henry’s father but after the whole sequence I am just assuming he is another Pinocchio type fairy tale character who somehow found his way to the real world. In another Lostian bit of storytelling, even though everyone remembers everyone else, somehow no one knows who Dr. Whale is. I did pick up on the big twist early, as soon as Philip said they had bigger problems than Maleficent, I knew they were still in storybook land. And I am sure I am not the only one who wondered why Sleeping Beauty did not even try kissing Philip in hopes of regaining his soul. Seriously, that is how he just woke you up from a year’s slumber.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: In the least shocking reveal ever, Victoria did not die in the plane crash. What was surprising is that she is working the white haired dude (though I did not really buy her story that the FBI had her hiding away, how did they know to get her off the plane?). I actually assumed that was her plane at the beginning of the episode but with the “three months earlier” I am not sure. Does this mean there will be another plane crash around Labor Day? I am just glad they did not tease someone’s death like they did thing the first season premiere so they will not be tempted again to go, surprise Daniel is not dead after all! again.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Homeland: Even though it was the best show on television last year, I was a bit wary about it going into the second season. How do you credibly get Carrie back on the show? Where does Brody go after trying, and failing to kill the vice president? After one episode I am still a little wary, but the first episode back was still highly entertaining especially the few glimpses of Crazy Carrie (yeah, just give Claire Danes the 2013 Emmy now; she already has it locked up after an episode) coming out like the smile on her face after kicking that dude in the groin. She seemed to like it a bit too much. But as David Estes stated very clearly, this is not her getting her job back (I do have a feeling by the end of the season Carrie will have a job but Estes will not, which we may have Brody and his safe cracking skills to thank for). I still am not sure where Brody goes from here. Apparently he is straddling the line between American and Nasir’s puppet. But I think what is clear; Dana is poised for a breakout season this year. I have the over / under for when she converts to Islam at four episodes.

The Voice: I found the Tuesday show more interesting because you can go ahead and pencil anyone they showcased into the Live Rounds. It was not surprising that they shows four chair turners like Cassadee Pope, Brian Keith, Adriana Louise, and Trevin Hunte (well he should have turned around all four chairs). There was also Melanie Martinez who probably gave the most interesting but some of the other inclusions were a bit surprising. I figured if they were going to show a token country singer on Team Blake they would have went with Liz Davis over Gracia Harrison. It very surprising they went with the Harry Potter meets Justin Beiber MacKenzie Bourg over Cee-Lo’s lone four chair win Avery Wilson. But the one that made me scratch my head the most was the inclusion season two castoff Dez Duron who prior to the special I doubt would make it out of the Battle Round let alone make it to the Live Shows (although the promo showed that Dez would be battling Montage Contestant Paulina; on the other hand Montage Contestant Ashley De La Rosa beat bland heartthrob Jonathas last season). But I really fear that Dez will be this season James Massone, a mediocre singer who gets by on his hair more than his voice.

As for the real show, there was a bigger onslaught bland teen which chicks. What make things worse is that four of them got on a team but French teacher Kameron Corvet, who gave an interesting performance of Crazy did not. And he was the closest contestant this season that fit into the show’s penchant for letting older dark skin singers win the show (which maybe is why he did not get picked). But on the bright side Rudy Parris did get through even though I think that he may be secretly Horatio Sanz dressed up in his Ozzy Osbourne costume.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Castle: Holy Jodi Lyn O’Keefe! Where has she been hiding all these years? Actually has she done anything since the seminal secretly hot ugly chick movie She's All That? And no, Lifetime Movies do not count. It is weird that she and Rachel Leigh Cooke popped back up in the same year. Maybe Jodi can get a guest spot on Perception next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Parenthood: Ugg, I had Becky Spoles in my Which Friday Night Lights Alum Will Show Up on Parenthood Next office pool.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I never really understood why the Sons got out of the porn business. Sure it may not be as lucrative as gun running but you are less likely to get shot at (or your skull bashed in while in jail), and there should be plenty of money in it. I guess gun running makes for better television especially on basic cable.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: You have to feel bad for Angie Lawson because she was forced to participate in an Immunity Challenge that involved diving down into water while having two sizable floatation devises attached to her body. It was amazing that she actually made it this far. But on the bright side she was able to climb stairs without any problem. Seriously, how did Russell pass a physical if his heart gave out last time he played and still cannot climb a foot out of the ocean? Wow, their tribe really is pretty pathetic. Maybe historically bad.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: Finally Trishelle gets some screen time. It is about time they paid some respect to a Real World legend.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.

Last Resort: Considering the show is based on conspiracies, I have to wonder if Marcus’s son is really dead, and if he is, was it really “friendly” fire that killed him? It is suspicious that he died right before Marcus was supposed to carry out a dubious order.
You can stream recent episodes on Last Resort on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: In the latest installment of I am pretty sure the writers of the show are spying on me, I also believe if a marriage ends in divorce I should receive my wedding gift back and I am certainly not going to buy you another gift if you get remarried.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/30/12

How I Met You Mother: When they were scanning up the mother’s body I though there is no way they are actually going to show us are they? But of course they are not and we were blocked by that stupid yellow umbrella. I guess we did learn that Ted’s baby mama has thick legs. And I take it we will not even get to Barney and Robin’s wedding until the end of this season even though they first teased it at the beginning of LAST season. Hurumph.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: I had to scratch my head when they brought back Daniel Rosa of all people (seriously, what the heck happened to Ducky), but it is even more befuddling that they let Dez Duron back again. He was boring last season and managed to be worse this season. I do not understand how anyone could turn around (the only explanation is that it is fixed). Hopefully Dez does not turn into this season’s James Massone whose hair is more memorable than his voice but still manages to inexplicably advance.

Two things happened this week that I am surprised took three weeks to happen. First off someone finally broke my Golden Rule of Karaoke Show: You are not ADELE so do not sing Adele. But Terisa Griffin was so entertaining will give her a pass. This was also the first week I finally recognized. No not the chick who opened for The Cheetah Girls, but Lelia Broussard (who got relegated to the Battle Rounds fodder package) who actually landed in at #94 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2011.

Another familiar face, to me at least, was Cassadee Pope of Hey Monday. It is weird that whenever a contestant I like comes up I hope they choose Blake and f I do not I hope they end up with Christina. When everyone was fighting over her I was resigned she would stupidly pick Adam who only cares about one team member each season and that person is an old dude with a failed record deal in his past and all but ignores everyone else (the promo before the commercial break even made it seem it would be a fight between Adam and Christina). Luckily Cassadee choose wisely and went with Blake where she can basically go ahead and pencil herself into the finals. Keep in mind the first two runners up on The Voice, Dia Frampton and Juliet Simms were veterans of the Warped Tour just like Cassadee (maybe The Voice should just hold tryouts at the Warped Tour this summer). And considering this is a very weak season she could very well win it. Although I am sure twelve year old girls will find a way of ruining this season like they ruin everything with internet voting.

But the highlight of the week was when Alexis Marceaux’s brother(? Boyfriend? Random dude who snuck in from the Napoleon Dynamite convention next door?) kept chanting, “You Want this Adam.” Dude better show up for the Battle Round. In fact can we just have him replace Carson Daly?



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Castle: It has been so long; I cannot even remember how Beckett’s mom fits into the whole conspiracy theory thing. It really took me out of the episode racking my brain to how she fit into everything. And I am not sure I am ready for a season of Beckett and Castle hooking up, let along sneaking around.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.


Go On: The show has been entertaining enough, but I am not sure if I can continue watching now that every time I look at Matthew Perry all I will see is Rachel Maddow.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Parenthood: Well at least Kristina’s cancer is fairly small and may not need chemo (or so the doctors would have us believe, but this will probably still be a hard watch most of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: So Opie was brutally murdered this week. Alrighty. I had to scratch my head last week when Opie left his kids with his estranged stripper ex-girlfriend so he could hand out with Jax in jail, but to offer himself up to be killed? Just does not make any sense that he would be willing to die for a club that killed his wife and his father. Hopefully he had a very good life insurance plan so his kids will be taken care of.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: (In my best Beavis voice): He he he he, she said boobie trap he he he he.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: I really hope Dylan finds a way back into the Dunfey house because I will be severely upset if we missed his whole time there.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: I am surprised that Big Eazy did not then I went in last week card. Seems like an easy way to decide things. And I wonder if The Challenge producers finally ran out of ideas because oil wrestling was a bit simplistic for a challenge on this show.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/13/12

Once Upon a Time: There was nothing more predictable this week than Emma not being the one that ate the apple. Although I did think maybe Mary Margret would be taking the bite over Henry as a juxtaposition of her eating it in the fairy tale land. But nothing was more entertaining than the fairies joining the battle to storm the castle.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: The show is supposedly the best written show but I it is so profoundly written, why is it when I sat down to write about the show the only thing that comes to my mind is what the frack was Mr. Belding, who apparently has been spending the last decade doing nothing but eating Cool Whip, doing there? (I vaguely remember Megan quitting or something and Don hating The Beatles). And if the former Bayside principal was not distracting enough, there was Pete Campbell nailing Rory Gilmore to increase the nineties nostalgia even more after Ken Cosgrove married Alex Mack (and her father Leland Palmer). Who’s next on the casting couch: Kimmy Gibler? The chick from My Two Dads?
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: After such a strong season it is head scratching that this was finals. With only Jermaine Paul being the only contestant that was better than any of the finalists last season I could not bring myself to watch either episodes this week. After America constantly got everything wrong (with some help from the coaches) this season, I was shocked to learn the voting for the finals went the way it should have: Jermaine, Juliet Simms, Tony Lucca with Chris Mann coming in dead last. I laugh at any notion that the Christina-Adam feud hurt Tony and Chris because they earned their finishing spots and should thank their coaches for taking them a lot further than they deserved. If Adam and Christina hurt anyone it was themselves because they were so focused on destroying each other they let people that may not have come in last place go like Lindsey Pavao, Jesse Campbell, Mathai, or Katrina Parker. So congratulations to Christina on her second straight last place finish even though she came out of the Blind Auditions with the strongest team. Maybe next season you do not take your ninth best team member to the finals with you. Even though I did not bother to watch the finale, there is one performance I checked out the next day:



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Castle: It is inevitable for a show built around an antagonist relationship of two characters of different gender that they will eventually hook up if the show stays on the air long enough, but that was a horrible ending for the episode and season. Well almost ending as there was one last scene to remind us that Kate’s mom’s case is still wide open. They better solve it by the end of next season (preferably much earlier). They already hinted at some sort of conspiracy surrounding Castle’s dad, how about solve Mama Beckett’s murder and move onto the mystery of Papa Castle? Unless he is the mysterious boss behind Mama Beckett’s murder (which I suspected when they first brought him up).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Oh Kat, you can take the girl out of the game but you just cannot keep her quite. I was surprised to learn that Christina turned out to be one of Alicia’s “minions.” Didn’t Alicia once suggest to Christina that she should jump in the fire so she did not have to wait an extra day before being voted out? Is this some sort of Stockholm Syndrome situation?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: Holy Dylan sighting! As everyone has spent the last couple months complaining how the show isn’t funny anymore, I think it is clear what was missing this season was Dylan who has not been seen since the season premiere when the Dunfy family left him at the dude ranch. Hopefully he is the spark that can get the fourth season back on track. Maybe a Dylan-Hayley wedding is in order.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Revenge: I am a bit surprised that we had an origins story that did not feature the sensei. Maybe that is for the next flashback episode next season.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: Didn’t they already do a clip show that wasn’t a real clip show before? Although I get a sense that we got a glimpse of the series finale with everyone being a part of a mental institute. You know the ending is going to be some sort of head trip (assuming they get a proper ending). And somehow insane Annie managed to be hotter than regular neurotic Annie.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/6/12

Once Upon a Time: Thankfully they actually revealed that August was Pinocchio early in the episode and did not wait until the end of it (or next season; these are the writers of Lost) considering anyone who watch the promo could put two and two together. And it looks like I was right that the writer of the book was a stowaway in the magic wardrobe with Emma. But August has no one to blame but himself for his predicament, seriously dude, if a fairy who gave you life tells you not to lie to continue being a real boy: don’t lie. Instead as soon as his leg turns to wood, he actually doubles down on the lying.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: I may be just as traumatized as Sally after watching this episode.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: I was one of the few people that defended Christina Aguilera this season saying she had a plan and was sticking to it even if she was going to be heavily criticized for it. I thought she was going to do whatever was necessary to get Lindsey Pavao to the finals even if that meant eliminating her other frontrunner and trashing singers on other teams that did not deserve the votes they were getting. But after this week it is clear she had no plan and just had personal grudges against Jesse Campbell, Tony Lucca, Adam Levine, and probably more. Seriously, how does she go out of her way to implore that Adam give Katrina Parker extra points and then split her own 50/50? Christina had the weakest finalist last season and even though she went into the Live Rounds this season, she still managed to have the weakest finalist again this season. Who is voting for Chris Mann? The guy is a fifth rate opera singer who had the second worst selling song on iTunes and yet he somehow beat the person with the second highest selling song (and number one overall this season). That just does not pass the smell test. The Voice really needs to make some changes before it starts to be as unwatchable as American Idol because as strong as the singers were this season, they came up with a pretty lackluster finals.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from this week with the widget at right.

Castle: The show is at its best when it goes absurd (zombies!?!) yet still stays within the realm of reality. But I do not think a forced confession like that is going to hold up in the court of law. Wouldn’t it have been better to hold him longer on drug charges and try to smoke him out that way? I guess it would have not been as much fun.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: How dare they actually vote out Kat? I am so upset right now, my two favorite reality competitors eliminated on consecutive days. Why do you hate me Reality Gods? At least Kat went out with a bang. I loved after picking two people that did not deserve a reward, she says, "Let me explain" and just when you think she would say something profound or at least reasonable she says, "I just want to get drunk with these girls." Awesome. Then she complains that Kim wins everything right after she won the reward challenge and how mad she was losing to a twenty-eight year old. Then gleefully talk about how great it would be to blindside Sabrina at Tribal Council right before being blindsided. Le sigh. I miss her already. Hopefully she really does annoy Probst until he lets her on the show again. But I have to say to those that did blindsided Kat: coolbeans and touché.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Community: The Voice should be even more embarrassed thatChris Mann’s version of Ave Maria was not even the best version of that song on the network this week. Garrett out.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: So the big conspiracy behind the accident has to do with heroin? They really cannot distribute it with Britton still in town? There has to be more to this story.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/22/12

Mad Men: How disappointing that Trudy Campbell did not do the Zoo Be Zoo dance at her dinner party. On the bright side, I finally got to see someone beat the crap out of her husband which I have waited to happen since the first season.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: If I were Mark Burnett, my mantra for The Voice would be “Don’t be American Idol.” Idol is a painfully bad amateur karaoke contest and The Voice has pretty much done everything right in two season (sure I can knick pick some of the coach’s decision *cough*Erin Martin*cough*) even the phrasing they use is better than Idol. Contestants are eliminated on Idol. Singers on The Voice “win” battles. Then in the Live Shows there are America’s “Saves” and Coach “Saves”, very positive words. But The Voice had an epic fail this week by introducing Instant Elimination. “Elimination”: a very negative word. If anything should be eliminated it is the Instant Eliminations next season.

Sure Blake Shelton went the easy and obvious root by chopping off Jordis who did not receive America’s vote last round and gave another mediocre performance. Christina Aguilera had a much tougher decision because he save last time, Ashley De La Rosa gave the strongest performance of the night. With that said, I still thought going into the elimination that Jesse Campbell was the most safe, Ashley still would have been a safe pick to go, Lindsey Pavao has been the front runner on the team but gave a very bland performance, and I thought Chris Mann was most likely to go after a painful performance and a string of boring performance. But Christina booting Jesse is the most shocking moment in two seasons of The Voice. Christina just cannot win, prior to the elimination she had the moment of the night when she and a couple male strippers serenaded Blake with Hillbilly Bone and no one is talking about that because of the elimination.

Almost as disappointing as Jesse’s elimination was Lindsey’s performance. I was ready to pronounce her the winner after her amazing performance of Say Aah and her performances of Heart Shape Box and Somebody That I Used to Know were weirdly awesome, but Part of Me just did not work. What’s worse is when she announced she was going to perform Rihanna I thought to myself, “wow, this should be interesting, I can’t wait to hear what she does with this medley (assuming her medley was not an actually medley like Moses Stones) but when she changed it to Katy Perry, my first thought was, “Ugg.” (I pretty much had the same reaction when Naia Kete went from doing a reggae version of Turning Tables to a straight version of the song; seriously, someone needs to take away his Adele album before we are stuck hearing Jermaine Paul’s version of Rumour Has It).

As shocking as it was, Jesse being shown the door was not even the most surprising moment of the week as I was much more shocked when Carson announced Chris Mann was saved by America, looking at Christina’s feigned clapping and Adam’s blank face after the reveal, I was not the only one that did not see this coming. If Christina thinks Tony Lucca is one-dimensional, what does she think of Chris? Is there such a thing as a fourth of a dimension? The guy is a bore and his version of Viva la Vida was painfully bad and was the only time this season I considered muting the television that did not involve Erin Martin. What is worse is that he was the least selling contestant from his team on iTunes. There is a significant flaw in the voting system of The Voice when the worst selling artist can get voted through especially when it is at the expense of the person who sold the most (who was Ashley this week). I suggested this last season and I am going to again, they should give equal weight to each voting method: 33% for online voting, 33% for phone calls, and 33% for iTunes sale. That way the people who use their hard earned money to support their favorite contestants are not drowned out by the fanatics that create hundreds fake accounts to stuff the ballot for less deserving contestants like Chris.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download music from this week in the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Nothing depressed me this week more than realizing I am Ted when it comes to living without a roommate.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Someone should have told Max that yes the government takes taxes right out of her paycheck, but if she filed her tax returns she makes so little she would probably get almost all of that back.

Castle: If there is not a Slaughter spin-off on ABC’s schedule next season I am going to be severely disappointed. At the very least he better show up in at least five episodes next season (and one more this season). I worried a little that we did not see him again because when Beckett took over the case I thought they were going to have it that Slaughter set the whole thing up and murdered Glitch.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Ever since the introduction of the auction into the game I have wondered why no one goes, I would rather pocket the $500 dollar because I am certainly not spending that kind of money on a bowl of peanut butter and Tarzan finally put his money to practical use. Until he changed his mind. As befuddling is when people who clearly on the bottom of their alliances are content to get max sixth (unless you can win immunity that round) place instead of a guaranteed fifth place and a possibility of a win. But on the bright side, we are almost guaranteed to have more Kat, who cannot grasp the concept of an auction at $20 increments or what the “B” in BLT stands for, in our lives, at least to the final four, and that is fine by me.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Oh Alicia Silverstone, where have you been these last lonely fifteen years. Can we just go ahead and add her to the cast already?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: It is about time Vicky’s former life caught up to her, unfortunately Emily did not stick around to see it. And just what was Emily doing making a spare key from the thug that sent a “message” to Daniel in pison?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: After this episode, I am beginning to understand Chevy Chase’s voice mail rants. But then again, who can complain too much when there are double Annie Edision’s involved.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.