Saturday, January 20, 2007

Public Service Announcement

Ladies and gentlemen, well, mostly this is for you ladies out there, there is a grown problem that has been plaguing our nation in recent months: chicks with uber-bangs. Some once hot chicks have for some reason have got caught spotting this trend and have become instantly unattractive. Recent causalities include:

Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys

The Asian Chick From Lost

Yunjin Kim

Reece Witherpoon

Reese Witherspoon

and even Kristen Bell

Krisen Bell

In fact I was recently talking to my mother about the midseason finale of Veronica Mars and she told me, “I know why Logan broke up with Veronica.” Why? “Her new haircut.” Yes ladies, sporting bangs like these are break-up-able offence. So don’t do it. And it’s not even hot chick that are doing it, some ugly chicks have been seen sporting theuber-bangs but only look uglier than they did before much like:

Gwen Stefani

Gwen Stefani

as well as the very manish Fergie

Somehow even newcomers have gotten jobs with this horrible trend much like:

Coach Taylor's Kid

Coach Taylor's daughter

and Jennylee from Beauty and the Geek

Jennylee from Beauty and the Geek

I’m not entirely sure where the trend started, all I know that it needs to stop now. If I wanted to look at chicks with bangs, I’d open up my Middle School yearbook. If you look in the mirror and cannot see your either of your eyebrows, it is time to try something different. If you were thinking of emulating one of your favorite stars that are doing it, don’t. Seriously ladies, dudes don’t like the look, other females are mocking you, and it’s time to put an end to the uber-bangs and only you can stop it. This has been a public service announcement from Scooter McGavin.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Record People Are Shady VII: Winter Preview Edition

It was a month ago today when I last posted an album review for Hip Hop Is Dead from Nas, and it will still be a couple of days until I publish my first review of the year with the first album in five years from John Mellencamp, Freedom’s Road sometime next week. As it has been for the last couple years, the record business placed all its eggs in one basket releasing all there big name albums within two months before Christmas while releasing very little in the first quarter of the year. This of course has lead to record lows for record companies including this week where the Dreamgirls Soundtrack broke the record for the least amount sold for a number one album on the Billboard charts with just 66,000 albums sold breaking the low record that is only three years old by Outkast’s Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, which was also set in January of that year. And I won’t be surprised if that record is broken next week as there were no big titles released last week.

Of course this is all because the music industry is the worst run industry in America (well, it’s neck and neck with the airlines). All they have to do is look in the past to cure the winter sales blues. Like in January 1992 where Nirvana shot to number one with their debut Nevermind when all the teenagers traded in Michael Jackson’s Dangerous that they got for Christmas for the new band their parents never heard of at the time. But instead, this year in the three Tuesdays since Christmas we have gotten nothing. Luckily things will start to pick up a little nest week with Mellencamp’s album as well a new album from the band that was supposed to change my life (but didn’t), The Shins.

The record sales will get a big boost at the end of the month with the latest from Norah Jones who has already sold 24 million albums in her career. Also out that week will be the debut of karaoke loser Katharine McPhee who will most likely have a decent first week before heading of to obscurity or The Surreal Life house. But while moms across the country will be picking up those two albums all us cool hipsters will be picking up British sensation Lily Allen’s first album, Alright, Still. Here a complete run down of winter releases (dates subject to change):

January 23
Freedom’s Road - John Mellencamp
Wincing the Night Away - The Shins

January 31
Alright, Still - Lily Allen
Never Too Late - Norah Jones
Katherine McPhee - Katherine McPhee
Oh, My Nola - Harry Connick Jr.

February 6
Infidelity on High - Fall Out Boy
Headstrong - Ashley Tisdale (A High School Musical alum)

Nothing really worth mentioning past early February that this set in stone but you also expect albums to be released by spring from Joss Stone, The White Stripes, Maroon 5, Arctic Monkeys, Avril Lavigne, as well as a solo outing from Chris Cornell which I hear will feature a cover of Billie Jean. Oh and Chinese Democracy by Guns n’ Roses is supposedly going to be released March 6th. But don’t expect new albums from marquee names like Dr. Dre, Green Day, Kanye West, and U2 until late 2007. Feel free to drop me a line in the comment section if there is anything I missed that you are looking forward to coming out this winter.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Technology Can Be Scary


Recently the good people over at Give Me My Remote asked me about some latest technology and I had to laugh a little because I’m the last person you want to ask about the newest gadgets, or even older ones. I’m not cool enough to own a Tivo, my camera still uses film, and if it weren’t for my Playstation 2 I probably wouldn’t own a DVD player yet. My cell phone is only that, a phone, no games, internet or cool ringtones, not that I use it anyways, I don’t think anyone outside of my mother knows my number. And long time readers may be surprised that the music fan that I am, I may have been the last person in the middle class to get a CD player and only did so because record stores stopped stocking cassette tapes of the latest releases. I didn’t get an iPod until around the fifth generation and I still have yet to upgrade to a surround sound system. I even am typing this with a desktop computer while browsing the internets with Internet Explorer.

With my low-fi life there were plenty of things that went over my head with the technology gone wrong thriller Pulse. The movie stars Kristen Bell (Pooty Tang) whose computer wiz ex-boyfriend has seemed to fall of the face of the Earth. Unlike most ex’s, Bell seems to be worried when her ex stops calling which prompts her to pay him a visit only to see him swinging from the ceiling of his apartment. Although the next day her and her friends, including Horshack from Veronica Mars and singer Christina Milian, all get an IM from the dude.

This leads Bell to Ian Somerhalder (The Rules of Attraction) who knows his way around a computer himself and theorizes that the dead dude opened some frequency to the beyond wehre all the spirits want to suck the life out of the living. Why? Who knows. But wherever there is a wireless connection, there they will be, well except if you have red tape. Why red tape? Who knows. And there is the problem with the movie is there are way too many plot holes add to that the death are uninspired and of course there are plenty of gadgets that I have no clue what they do so they take me out of the movie.

The one saving grace is Bell who almost makes you believe the things on the screen are actually scary. But it’s a bad sign when the most entertaining thing on a DVD is a trailer for another movie, in this case Fan Boys, which also happens to star Bell.

Pulse gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Win a Knights of Prosperity T-Shirt - Sticky

This is a sticky post, please scroll down for the latest posts

Win these t-shirts

Check out this post: 57 Channels and Only This Is On, for your chance to win your very own official Knights of Prosperity t-shirt as seen worn by the cast at right. Want more chances to win Knights of Prosperity swag? Swing over to Ducky’s brand new website to win the contest he's running. And don’t forget to watch Knights of Prosperity Wednesdays at 9:00. Or you can stream the latest episode at

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Lyrics Quiz: Best Songs of 1997

Long before I even had a blog, at the end of the year I would countdown my favorite songs from the past twelve months and here are my twenty-five songs from a decade ago in their original order from that list (so please don’t mock me for those songs that haven’t quite stood the test of time, you know you liked them back them too). As always leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist (Hint: all songs are from 1997, so make sure you list the artist that recorded the song that year which may not be the most well known version.). If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. The person with the most correct lyrics will be added to the Winner’s list on my sidebar. Now on to the lyrics:

1. You’re always brilliant in the morning, smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee. (Foolish Games - Jewel; guessed by Angie)
2. I will follow you down till the sound of my voice will haunt you. You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you. (Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac; guessed by Monique)
3. I wipe the spots above the mirror; don’t leave the keys in the door. I never put white towels on the floor anymore. (You Were Meant for Me - Jewel; guessed by Angie)
4. She said, “It’s cold, feels like Independence Day and I can’t break away from this parade." (One Headlight - The Wallflowers; guessed by Angie)
5. Can't no Ph.D. (expletive deleted) hold me down. Cooter schooled me to the game, now I know my duty. Stay humble stay low blow like Hootie. (Mo Money, Mo Problems - The Notorious B.I.G. featuring Ma$e and Puff Daddy; guessed by Tony)
6. I watch you there through the window and I stare at you wear nothing but you wear it so well. (Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
7. My best friend took a weeks vacation to forget her. His girl took a weeks worth a Valium and slept. (The Freshmen - The Verve Pipe; guessed by Angie)
8. I can fill ya wit real millionaire (expletive deleted). Escargot, my car go, one sixty, swiftly. Wreck it buy a new one. Your crew run run run, your crew run run. (Hypnotize - The Notorious B.I.G.; guessed by Tony)
9. If I could find that Heina and that Sancho that she'd found well I'd pop a cap in Sancho and I'd slap her down. (Santeria - Sublime; guessed by Jonas)
10. I should have changed my (expletive deleted) lock, I would have made you leave your key if I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me. (I Will Survive - Cake; guessed by Tony)
11. It’s kind of hard with you not around; I know you’re in heaven smiling down. Watching us while we pray for you, everyday we pray for you. (I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112; guessed by Angie)
12. You know sugar never ever was so sweet and I'm dying for ya, crying for ya, I adore ya. One hit of your love addicted me. Now I'm strung out on you darling. (Honey - Mariah Carey; guessed by Tony)
13. Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after 2 A.M. and talked a little while about the year. (A Long December - Counting Crows; guessed by Anna)
14. He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink, he drinks a Laager drink, he drinks a cider drink. (Tubthumping - Chumbawumba; guessed by Angie)
15. Reason will not reach a solution. I will end up lost in confusion. I don't care if you really care as long as you don't go. (Lovefool - The Cardigans; guessed by Erica)
16. It feels like spring time in winter. It feels like Christmas in June. It feels like heaven has opened up its gates for me and you. (Everytime I Close My Eyes - Babyface; guessed by Tony)
17. Everywhere I go people stop and they see, twenty-five years old, my mother God rest her soul. (Fly - Sugar Ray; guessed by Anna)
18. You give us a tantrum and a know-it-all-grin just when we need one, when the evening’s thin. (Building a Mystery - Sarah McLachlan; guessed by Anna)
19. Referee won’t blow the whistle, God is great but will he listen. I’m nearly great, but there’s something missing. (Staring at the Sun - U2; guessed by Tony)
20. And their kids were hippie chicks all hypocrites because fashion is smashing the true meaning of it. (Walkin' on the Sun - Smash Mouth; guessed by Angie)
21. For those of you that think gospel music has gone too far. You think we got too radical with our message. Well I got news for you, you ain’t heard nothing yet, and if you don't know now you know. Glory, Glory!! (Stomp - Kirk Franklin's Nu Nation; guessed by Tony)
22. After all you been through, I will make it up to you, I promise you, baby. And after all that has been said and done, you’re just a part of me I can’t let go. (Hard to Say I'm Sorry - Az Yet and Peter Cetera; guessed by Monique)
23. I’m not black like Barry White; no I’m white like Frank Black is. (Fire Water Burn - The Bloodhound Gang; guessed by Anna)
24. Finally I figured out but it took a long, long time. But now there's a turnabout maybe ‘cause I'm trying. (All for You - Sister Hazel; guessed by Tony)
25. Trying to make a train at sunrise gonna have to run a red light. Tangling with my Carolina you know the girl kept me up all night. And when my Carolina throw down you know the girl knows how to fight. (Carolina Blues - Blues Traveler; guessed by Tony)

Monday, January 15, 2007

Happy Martin Luther King Day

Hopefully everyone had a fun and productive MLK Day. I just wanted to pop in to let everyone that this month's Lyrics Quiz will be postponed until tomorrow as I spent all day today painting. Actually I only spent about three hours painting, I spent the rest of the three day weekend stripping wallpaper. And I am ready to declare stripping wallpaper as the least fun thing ever. I defy anyone to come up with something they have ever done to be less fun. In fact if anyone is able to tell me something they have done that is less fun than stripping wallpaper and I agree, I will put you in the hopper to win my Knights of Prosperity Contest. Keep in mind that the contest ends this Wednesday at 11:59 EST. And don't forget to stop by tomorrow for the latest Lyrics Quiz.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. II

Be sure to check out my contest to win your own Knights of Prosperity T-Shirt. Contest runs until this Wednesday.

Quote of the Week: You now the woman who could have been the next Faith Hill but somewhere along the way discovered Peach Daiquiris, her diaphragm went wrong and wound up smack down in the middle of trailer hell raising two kids. Yep she still manages to look hot and you can bounce a quarter off her butt; you got to take care of yourself, c’mon. Well that’s me, My Name Is Joy. (My Name Is Earl)

Song of the Week: Do Me! - Bell Biv DeVoe (Knights of Prosperity)

How I Met Your Mother: I have a bad experience with I Had the Time of My Life so this episode was painful to watch.

Beauty and the Geek: Anyone else find it suspicious that the four ethnic looking contestants on the show not only paired up but were the first two teams voted off?

Friday Night Light: Somewhat of an off episode this week, seriously where was Landry? Tyra is back though but it was hard to not laugh at her big scene. But I’m really surprised that it hasn’t turned knocked up from her one night stand with random dude and then claiming Riggins as the baby daddy. But the best scene of the week was when Julie told her parents that they were the best in the world then Coach started to bask in the kind words but mama knew her saying that meant something was wrong.

Presidential Address: When Charles Gibson comes on and goes point by point what George Bush is about to talk about, why do we have to sit through his broken English when we already know what he is going to say?

Let’s Rob Mick Jagger: While lesser people play stupid games like Gay, Straight or Taken, the Knights played a much better game of Intern: Gay or a Virgin. I also loved how they ended the show with the Knights where new shirts with Mick’s access code on them but the same bright orange color.

My Name Is Earl Randy Joy Crabman: The start was pretty slow but as soon as Randy started talking I was on the floor laughing. Of course Joy’s intro was the best. They did spread the joke too thin with My Name Is Doddie. You’d think professional comedy writers would know the rule of three. And a note to NBC, when you say, “Stay tuned for more Earl” have more Earl after the break not an ad for that lame Grease reality show and then go straight into The Office without any more Earl.

Smallville: Tori Spelling was the worst guest star since Paris Hilton on Veronica Mars.

Also check out my First Impressions of I’m From Rolling Stone, The Surreal Life Fame Games, Ego Trip’s The (White) Rapper Show, and why I’m not watching Armed and Famous.

Promo of the Week: Okay I said last week that it was just a onetime thing but here’s another one that caught my eye even though I don’t actually watch Gilmore Girls account that I’m a dude. But I love the line “I knew Tom Hanks when he was a Bosom Buddy,” and even though Regina Spector’s other song Fidelity is getting more attention, including closing out an episode of Veronica Mars, this song On the Radio is much better if just for the odd November Rain reference:

Next Week’s Pick: Smallville, 8:00 The CW: Over the last couple seasons Clark has run into a couple future Justice League members but this week sees them all together for the first time including one Beaver Casablancas as the Flash.