Saturday, April 03, 2010

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXXIV

Quote of the Week: I feel like I’m in a Godzilla movie. (Keamy, Lost)

Song of the Week: Hello – Lionel Richie (as sung by Dan LeBatard, Pardon the Interruption)

Big News of the Week: Charlie Sheen Leaving Two and a Half Men (But Probably Not): Not to self: if I ever become the highest paid actor on television and still want more money, but don’t want people to realize my greediness, drop a news story on April 1st so all the commoners think it is an Aprils Fool joke while my bosses get worried that I may end the most watched sitcom so I get even more money. Brilliant.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:

Yvonne Strahovski in green

Tool Academy: The problem with past Tool Academy seasons is the less Tools there are, the less entertaining the show gets. How do you alleviate the problem: chick fight. Every week I would have guessed the Neandratool would be the one going home, and now he has to be the odds on favorite to win it all. You can stream recent episodes over at You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Chuck: If Shaw is this great CIA agent, scaling the ranks at breakneck speed, how is he that stupid not to realize that The Ring doctored the footage of his wife’s murder (at least that is the assumption I am going under)? And why frame Sarah? Wouldn’t The Ring rather Shaw dead than have him kill Sarah in revenge? Unless The Ring hopes to flip him thinking the CIA had his wife killed. But at least civilian Casey is still highly entertaining with him still breaking and entering, the stakeout, ending up in jail and, wow, he told Sarah that he killed the mole. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

Greek: Here’s hoping that Casey and Cappie actually stay broken p this time but since they are placing the seeds of her staying at CRU, I am really not holding my breath for that one. Just let her graduate, go off to grad school in Washington and end the show that way because I see that show tanking creatively if they keep all the seniors around even though they graduated. If the show does stick around, pull a Friday Night Lights and let the seniors leave and just restock the cast and let Rusty, Calvin and Rebecca be the leads. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Greek on iTunes

Lost: Holy One Eyed Willie sighting! Except he has two eyes! Well he did until Jin shot one out. I guess we know now how he lost his eye. Sort of. Almost. Well not really but at this point I take any almost answer Lost gives me these days. I am sure I would have enjoyed this episode a lot more had the host of Dancing with the Has Beens and Never Weres didn’t spoil the episode by announcing what was coming up on the show. But that still didn’t beat the V countdown clock that obscured Sun’s writing. I have resigned myself that networks will never get rid of these screen covering practicing, but is it too hard to ask that they make sure that they are not covering anything important? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Lost on iTunes

Justified: I love how stupid the bad guys are on this show. How big is your ego when you think you can outdraw a US Marshall who is famous for killing a dude by outdrawing him? Then practice drawing with a loaded weapon. You knew someone was going to die. It is like the bad guys think they are the greatest chess players ever while Raylin is playing three dimensional chess. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: The show really likes to get Erika Christensen in the pool which is hard not to think Swimf@n whenever they do it. Here’s hoping one of the kids joins the swim team with coach played by Jessie Bradford. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Modern Family: I really hope Apple enjoyed their half hour infomercial about how their customers are humongous losers. But I think this was the first episode where Phil actually made me laugh multiple times. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Modern Family on iTunes

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: What is great about the two most overrated Survivors going after each other is that you know one will be going home sooner than later. And neither Boston Rob or Russell have noticed that their tribe has voted out three straight guys, the exact same strategy that Parvati used in her winning season. And if the preview is any indication, the Villains will go three straight entertaining tribal councils. You can stream recent episodes over at

Survivor on iTunes

Free Download of the Week: Stole My Heart – Little and Ashley: For those that have seen the new commercial for Kindle and wondered what the song in the ad is, here it is and for the low, low price of free.

Deal of the Week: Blu Ray Sale (Up, Enchanted, The Chronicles of Narnia)

Video of the Week: The Muppets are getting ready for Easter tomorrow with this odd Ben E. King inspired video. Thankfully Statler and Waldorf come in the end to (almost) make sense of it all.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Tool Academy, Sunday (4/4) at 9:00 on VH1: It is odd that they wouldn’t air an episode against the Oscars, but will air the season finale on Easter. Hopefully next week we get a reunion show which we didn’t get last season. They can even bring in former Tool Academy alum and Tiger Woods mistress Jamie Grubbs for an update of what she has been up to since being on the show.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Get in My Belly

The Austin Powers Collection

With apologies to The Jerk, there has been no bigger fool on the big screen in my life time than Austin Powers. Raised on the free love of the 60’s, Powers selfishly cryogenically froze himself when his nemesis Dr. Evil did the same, so they could continue their feud at a later time. That ended up being a cultural opposite of the happy sixties, the drab 90’s and International Man of Mystery was the ultimate fish out of water movie played to hilarious effect.

As great of the first movie was, the second, The Spy that Shagged Me remains its best. Thanks to Heather Graham, in one of only two roles she wasn’t completely horrible in (the other being Boogie Night which can say something about her personally), as the female version of Austin that he teams up with when Dr. Evil time jumps back to the 60’s. And then Mike Myers manages to create an even creepier character than Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard, a real life version of Jabba the Hut. And of course, there was nothing more entertaining than Mini-Me.

Sure Goldmember was a colossal disappointment and many of the most memorable lines from the franchise have been beaten to death more than any other quotes in the past decade other than “I think I threw up a little in my mouth” (though I still like to throw out “She’s a man, baby” every once in a while) but Austin Power still deserves a spot in the Scooter Hall of Fame. There are rumors of Mike Myers working on a fourth and here is hoping it is better than recent trilogy killers like the recent Indiana Jones movie. Or at the very least have a line or two we can beat into the ground for the next five years.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I Want My Music Television vol. LXXVII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Window Seat - Erykah Badu

Yes this is the video that has had the internets all a flutter the last couple days. Yes it draws a thin line between “Inspired by” and “Completely rip off.” Yes it pretty offensive. Yes it is a little offensive. But hats off to Erykah Badu for getting the entire internet, including myself, to post it.

Stop for a Minute – Keane and K’Naan

Even though we have not even reached April yet, I think we can go ahead and call the race for most random collaboration of 2010 and declare Keane and K’Naan the winner.

Soundtrack 2 My Life – Kid Cudi

Meet Me in the Sky – Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

Bone Thugs-N-Harmory won the Most Random Collaberation a few years back when they teamed up with Phil Collins (no, seriously). And it hard to hate on Kid Cudi when he is making Charles in Charge references, but I am not sure what it says about my hometown that the two rap artist that come from my area are Bone, who no one can understand (and should have stopped with Tha Crossroads when it came to a memorial song), and Cudi, who brought emo-rap to the mainstream. Yep, that pretty much sums up Cleveland.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Previewing Rebel Monkeys

Want to watch a show that features a group that stealthily steals to make their way and causing havoc on their city while trying to avoid people trying to lock them up, fight with other gangs for territory and the leader has even more problems with members of his group are gunning for his title as leader. Nope this isn’t the latest offering from HBO (but the leads show plenty of skin) but this is Rebel Monkeys, the first offering from the new network Nat Geo Wild premiering tomorrow at 8:00 with back to back episodes.

The show plays like an urbanized version of Meerkat Manor as they follow a pack of Macaque monkeys in Jaipur, India. The monkeys are considered sacred and can usually rely on visitors to their Galta temple give them food as an offering o the Hindu monkey God, but a dry monsoon season is making food scare leading the monkeys into town hoping to find some unattended food while avoiding the monkey catcher and even finding some time to have a little fun while they navigate the power lines above the city. Check out a preview below:

Monday, March 29, 2010

The 100 Greatest Duos of the 00's

Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon1. Tony Kornhetunesser and Michael Wilbon

2. Eric and Tami Taylor

3. Jack and Meg White

4. Batman and The Joker

5. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson

6. Al Swearengen and Seth Bullock

7. Sheldon Cooper and Penny

8. Charlie Murphy and Rick James

9. Benjamin Linus and John Locke

Tami and Eric Taylor10. John Stewart and Stephen Colbert

11. Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell

12. Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo

13. Michael Cera and Jonah Hill

14. Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo

15. Jay-Z and Kanye West

16. Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling

17. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriquez

18. Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn

19. Sydney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin

The White Stripes20. Bill “the Butcher” Cutting and Amsterdam Vallon

21. Kanye West and Taylor Swift

22. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson

23. ?uestlove and Black Thought

24. David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey

25. Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo Green

26. Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan

27. Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb

28. Jack Sheppard and John Locke

29. Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Batman and The Joker30. Mark Cuban and David Stern

31. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

32. Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio

33. Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel

34. Seth and Scott Avett

35. Beyoncé and Jay-Z

36. Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams

37. Lily Allen and Mark Ronson

38. M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel

39. Johnny Cash and Rick Rubin

Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson40. Landry Clarke and Matt Sarasen

41. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

42. Bill Simmons and Jack O

43. The Rock and Mankind

44. Vince McMahon and Eric Bishoff

45. Jack Black and Kyle Gass

46. Justin Long and John Hodgman

47. Seth Rogan and James Franco

48. Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

49. Chris Matthews and Zell Miller

Al Swearengen and Seth Bullock50. Jeff Barnes and Lester Patel

51. Bono and the Edge

52. Olivia Munn and Kevin Ferreira

53. Woody Allen and Scarlett Johansson

54. Samuel L. Jackson and Snakes

55. Boyd Tinsley and LeRoi Moore

56. Jay-Z and Nas

57. Charlie Murphy and Prince

58. Roger Clemens and Mike Piazza

59. Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh

Sheldon and Penny60. Any Combination of the Bluth Family

61. Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen

62. George Bush and Michael Moore

63. Lars Ulrich and Napster

64. Roger Federer and Raphel Nadal

65. Chris Hanson and Predators

66. Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler

67. Terrell Owens and his Quarterback

68. Eminem and Dr. Dre

69. Philip Rivers and Jay Cutler

Ben Linus and John Locke70. Jon Stewart and Tucker Carlson

71. Ed Stevens and Dr Mike Burton

72. Ron Artest and the city of Detroit

73. Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd

74. Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston

75. Emerson Cod and Olive Snook

76. Ed Stevens and Carol Vessey

77. John McCain and Sarah Palin

78. Santana and Michelle Branch

79. Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada

John Stewart and Stephen Colbert80. Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

81. Vanilla Ice and Ron Jeremy

82. Ben Stiller and Jack Black

83. Dr. Harold Abbott and Andy Brown

84. Johnny Depp and Tim Burton

85. Method Man and Redman

86. Veronica Mars and Dick Casablancas

87. Hannity and Colmes

88. George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh

89. Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes

Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas90. Rick Castle and Kate Beckett

91. LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony

92. Al Davis and Lane Kiffen

93. Judd Apatow and Jason Segal

94. Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olberman

95. Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg

96. Henry Louis Gates and James Crawley

97. Richard Hatch and Rudy Boash

98. Dave Grohl and Josh Homme

99. Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan

100. Andre 3000 and Big Boi