Saturday, March 14, 2009

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LXXI

Quote of the Week: I got the premium package. I told you if I don't watch 5 hours of TV a day, I'm throwing money out the window. (Gary, Gary Unmarried)

Song of the Week: Heaven – Warrant (Tool Academy)

Big News of the Week: The Recession Hits Home: When the recession started making stories circa October last year I could care less because it seemed to only hurt morons who bought houses they couldn’t afford and the morons who gave them the money to do so (an a few innocent bystanders). But as we inch closer to a depressions thanks to an administration thinking throwing money at anything will make things better even though the reason why we are in it is because the last one did the exact same thing, the recession actually hit home this week with the announcement that BMG Music is no more. I have taken advantage of their “12 for the price of 1” deals for almost two decades now (my first shipment included Public Enemy, Bryan Adams and Alice in Chains) and would estimate a good 40% of my CD collection came from the service. BMG Music: you will be missed. Luckily Amazon MP3 has cushioned my fall thanks to the MP3 Daily Deal which offers a full album for $2.99 (or less) every day and I have already taken advantage of the deal multiple times this year.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:

Yvonne Strahovski in some night wear

Coalition Links of the Week:
With news of Leighton Meester landing a film role, Buzz wondered which TV actors could shine on the big screen. (BuzzSugar)

This week, Sandie shared the first pictures of Alex O'Loughlin in Criminal Minds. (Daemon's TV)

Vance is loving the new Degrassi kids, meanwhile, some of the old ones are going to Hollywood, while a few in real life are starring in a play in Toronto! (Tapeworthy)

Missing Lost this week? Jace might not have a new episode of the ABC drama to tide you over until your latest fix but he does have video of his interviews with showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and series stars Matthew Fox, Evangeline Lilly, and Michael Emerson... along with a few spoilers. (Televisionary)

Although not usually one to pick a fight, Dan expressed some annoyance with the portrayal of gay folks on SNL and Bromance. (TiFaux)

Jennifer pondered why there are no big stars on Dancing With the Stars and who will die on Smallville, while Ashley took a swing at TV's best musical moments. (Tube Talk)

Raoul talked to Kris and Amanda from The Amazing Race. (TV Filter)

This week, we listed 5 reasons why Kings could help rebuild NBC's empire. (the TV Addict)

The Big Bang Theory: I may be knit-picking, but Sheldon does that with everything, so it makes it okay. But the opening just didn’t work for me for two reasons. Why would they need more Tivo space so they don’t have to delete Battlestar Galactica? I can’t image between the four of them, at least one has the DVD, and most likely all four have their own version. And why would Sheldon be so adverse to breaking the warranty agreement? Wouldn’t he think he would be able to fix the Tivo better than even the dude who created it. With that said, all of it was still funny. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: I was completely offended by the insults flung around to Ted having a soul patch as I sported one in my youth and had one before there was even a name for such a thing. Okay, the name “soul patch” is kind of Toolish, but having one before it was dubbed that was totally awesome. Then I had the save mine off when someone suggested I stole the idea from the gay dude on The Real World (I want to say New Orleans). You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

I Love Money: I love how The Entertainer and his alliance have gotten so upset that everyone pretty much banded together to out his crew as if no one else is allow to create their own alliance and just sit around waiting to get voted off.

Gary Unmarried: It has become pretty clear that Louis is the new star of the show and the most recent episode just cemented that. Just imagine if she were ten years older and ran into Sheldon. And they should seriously think about adding Martin Mull and Jane Curtain to the cast. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.

Survivor: So J.D. chips a tooth, spits it out, throws it across the playing field, and gets ready for the next round. Man's Game J.D. But I really want the Exile Alliance to work though they are skating on thin ice on both tribes. What really sucks is I don’t think we will get a new episode for three weeks thanks to March Madness with just a Wednesday recap episode in the mean time. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.

Survivor on iTunes

Friday Night Lights: I was a little disapointed that the Panthers did not run a little Wildcat. When you have two quarterbacks on the field you have to trow in a trick play or two. And how do you go for it on fourth and long with under a minute? Punt i through the enzone so the cannot have a run back and go into prevent. If he doesn't make a first down, that would have been a fireable offense. You can stream current episodes over at

Friday Night Lights on iTunes

You can also check out my First Impressions of Castle and/or my Final Impressions of Tool Academy.

Free Download of the Week: Pitter-Pat (Acoustic) – Erin McCarley (Amazon MP3): One of the previously mentioned Deal of the Day’s that I have advantage of was the decent debut from Eric McCarley and this week you can get an acoustic version of one of the songs for free.

Deal of the Week: Over 300 Blu-ray Discs as Low as $13.99 (Lost, Tropic Thunder, Reservoir Dogs, Zack and Miri Make a Porno)

Video of the Week: Monday wraps up Christina Ricci’s run on Saving Grace and don’t expect her tenure to end with her completion of her rotation. Nope, Grace finds something about Ricci that brings her stint to an abrupt end. Check out a clip below:

Next Week Pick of the Week: March Madness, Thursday and Friday from noon until after midnight on CBS: Some would argue that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but for me it is March Madness. With four games on at a time, there is a high probability that at least one will be good and they go on all day for two days. Plus it is the only time of the year when gambling is socially acceptable, even teachers pass out brackets to their students for “extra credit” and the boss doesn’t care if you spend the workday hitting refresh on Sadly 90% of people are all but out of their office pool by the start of the second round while the secretary who doesn’t follow sports sits on the top of the leaderboard.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Around the Tubes vol. V

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Blog Smog, Kings, Parks and Recreations, DogTown, My Boys, Guantanamo Bay, and Cesar Millan.

- Dentyne has a new campaign out that hits a little to close to home. Luckily for the people around me I am a little obsessive compulsive about my teeth so I usually keep them clean and fresh. For those that do not, or not sure, you will want to check the video out below:

Blog Smog

- I have been excited for Kings since I saw the first preview because it just has that epic feel to it and I can finally get a full look at it Sunday at 8:00 on NBC. Here is a two minute preview but if you want to see a much better seven-minute version, you can download it for free on iTunes and in HD if you choose.

- The show has even put together a pretty cool interactive trailer where you play a television news producer reporting on the star of the show. But keep in mind that it will take you about ten minutes and they will be calling you and you will want to disable your pop-up blocker. Head over to to participate.

- In other website for fake shows news the City of Pawnee has set up its own website, the city in the upcoming show Parks and Recreation starring Amy Poehler. You can even find the e-mail address of Parks and Recreation’s Deputy Director Leslie Knope (Poehler) while you are there.

- If there is one thing I learned from the press release for the new season of DogTown it is that the show is Ellen DeGeneres’ favorite show. The new season premieres next Friday and I may have more on it next week. But until then, here is a clip from the premiere:

- Also coming up on the television calendar is My Boys coming March 31 at 10:30 on TBS. I should also have more information on the show in upcoming weeks. Until then, you can view some of last season’s episodes over at

- Coming April 5 at 9:00, the National Geographic Channel gained extended access to the notorious Guantanamo Bay to document what life is really like for the detainees and those who guard them.

- In an odd press release I got, apparently the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan became a United States citizen yesterday. Um, okay. So congratulations Cesar and feel free to stop by my house sometime to see if you can keep my dogs from using the dining room as their own personal bathroom.

Cesar Millan now American

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I Want My Music Television vol. XLV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Nothing to Worry About – Peter Bjorn and John

You may remember Peter, Bjorn and John from their whistling song, and if you don’t, what hole were you hiding in back in 2007? Naturally there new song isn’t as catchy but at least the video is classic, featuring choreographed, Japanese, Elvis bikers. Brilliant.

Carol Brown - Flight of the Concords

I have never seen Flight of the Conchords before on account that I am too cheap to order HBO. But this chorus of ex-girlfriends may get me to throw the DVD into my queue. Granted it may two to three year to get through it.

Just Go – Lionel Richie featuring Akon

Why? Why Lionel Richie Why would you stoop so low to recruited Akon to make music? He has had his hand on some of the worst music of the 00’s. You need to just go back to writing and producing your own music. And if you need a duet partnet, just get the Commodores back together.

It Won’t Be Like This for Long - Darius Rucker

I really miss Hootie.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Keep Your Hand on My Head, Your Heart on Your Sleeve

All I Ever Wanted - Kelly Clarkson

Listening to All I Ever Wanted I feel I may have been a little to harsh when reviewing Kelly Clarkson’s last disk My December (see: You're Going Crazy, Running on Empty). My big complaint was that she tried to do too much herself, even if she had no ability to create a memorable melody, almost defiantly resulting in a bland cumbersome album. But on her new disk, the best tracks are actually the one with her hands on it.

The album starts off with handing the reigns over to other writers an d producers almost saying, if you want another Since U Been Gone, here you go” with first single My Life Would Suck Without You even opening up with the exact same guitar riff. Sadly the truly excellent riff from Gone, the ripped off one from The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Maps, is nowhere to be found. But in the end the song doesn’t even sound like Clarkson, instead sounds like Katy Perry trying to imitate her.

Perry actually shows up twice co-writing two of the weakest tracks on the album I Do Not Hook Up (co-written by Kara DioGuardi) and Long Shot (co-written with Glen Ballard). Both songs are dumbed down and riddled with over reaching clichés, pretty much your token Katy Perry song. And Since U Been Gone isn’t the only song that gets recreated as Don’t Let Me Stop You starts up with the same noted as Behind These Hazel Eyes.

Things don’t get much listenable until the Clarkson written Already Gone. But keep in mind the song was co-written and produced by the dude from One Republic, so it is about as adventurous as your typical Musak track. Actually, Save You sounds like Stop and Stare in the beginning and features the “I wish we were Coldplay” riffs in it too. Two of the songs Kelly didn’t write with Ryan Tedder are a bit poppier, and better. In fact I Want You may be the best late nineties teen pop songs never written and even harkens back to the girl groups of the sixties.

The album ends on a high note with the Keri Noble scribed If No One Will Listen which Clarkson could have written herself after the debacle surrounding her last record. And is a much better balled than the overdramatic and over dramatic Cry which will probably polluting the airwaves for the year and a half. But it will be If No One Will Listen that American Karaokers will be butchering for years to come.

Song to Download – I Want You

All I Ever Wanted gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Kelly Clarkson on iTunes

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

First Impressions: Castle

Nathan Fillion of CastleIt is hard not to get a distinctive case of déjà vu while watching Castle. We have seen it all before: a woman who takes her job a little too serious gets stuck with a guy who doesn’t take anything serious. This has become so overdone it is hard to remember the last time television put together a stuck guy and a free spirit chick.

What the show does have going for it is the characters are someone likable. The all too serious detective Stana Katic (The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice) gets stuck with bad boy writer Nathan Fillion (Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place) after someone has gone on a killing spree that mirror those in his books. And naturally the sparks fly.

Stana Katic of castleAnd if that isn’t enough clichés for you, then we meet Castle’s family, his mother the drunken Martha Rodgers (Dharma & Greg; hey, there’s an answer to my question earlier). Then there is his fifteen year old daughter who is more mature than her father, naturally. Also in the cast are some of Kanic’s coworkers, but none of which were interesting enough to really mention.

What hurts Castle the most is a symptom that has been plaguing a bunch of new shows lately where the premise is a decent idea if it were a movie, but it doesn’t seem built for the long run. For Castle, had they extended out a couple more murders, it would have made a decent movie. But I am not sure how they can keep Castle following around the cops entertaining week in and week out.

Castle airs Mondays at 10:00 on ABC. You can stream current episodes over at

Monday, March 09, 2009

I'm Sorry, You're Just a Tool

The Tools of Tool Acedemy...“I’m sorry, you’re just a Tool” may never reach the pantheon of parting snarkiness of reality shows like “The tribe has spoken” but that certainly hasn’t stopped me from uttering the phrase ad nausea for the past two months. From Michael Phelps and Alex Rodriguez for their “young and stupid” excuses, to Rush Limbaugh and Rohm Emanuel arguing over who wants to get us out of economic mess less; there are no shortage of Tools out there.

With the overabundance of Tools around these days, VH1 (naturally) rounded up the nine biggest Tools in America who were stupid enough to think they were actually competing for the title of Mr. Awesome. But much like life, the joke was on them as their girlfriends had enrolled them in the Tool Academy to make them better people and boyfriends. But on the bright side, to get into this charm school they didn’t have to make out with Bret Michaels or Flavor Flav.

...and the women who love, or really just tolerate them including my favorite Jenna FentonNor did they have to be judged by one of the least classy person in America, or England for that matter in Sharon Osborne. Instead we get “relationship expert” Trina Dolenz, who may or may not be related to the dude from The Monkees. Granted she was just a pasty because like all of these “better one’s self” shows, the eliminations were arbitrary and inconsistent where most eliminations were not because they were the biggest Tool but they made for the least interesting television. Which is what kept Tommy and Shawn around to the final four when they should have been the first two out based on their actions.

The one misstep the show took was they each Tool their own moniker, such as Tiny Tool and Naked Too for the two finalists, but still had the host go by their own name, or silly self given pseudonym like Matsuflex and Celebrity, when they should have taken a page out of Flavor Flav’s notebook and continually call them by their Tool given name. Other than that, there were not any other flaws aside from the stupid girls who decided to stay with their Tools despite getting kicked out early (two of the nine decided to not break up with their expelled Tools despite stating the Tool Academy was the last stop). Although we will have to wait until next week at the reunion show to see if they kept their snap judgments.

Josh and Ashley wears a cap and gown for the very first timeIn the end Josh was the lone Tool to graduate and got his very first diploma ever. And in a twist I would guest the other Tools were happy to avoid, the host said that their families were waiting to get married right there and then. Granted I debate the validity of the union because what self respecting minister would officiate a wedding on a show called Tool Academy? And he conspicuously didn’t mention who vested the authority of him to deem such a thing legal. But in the end IO hope they rush into production Tool Academy2 and if we are really lucky we may one day get a Celebrity edition featuring some of the earlier mentioned Tools. Or possibly a spin off realty show where Matuflex, his girl Jenna Fenton move in with her Deacon father.

Tool Academy gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LXX

Tool Academy: There was nothing more entertaining than to see Ashley give the verbal smackdown to Shawn. The guy remained to the end the biggest tool on the show so it was good to finally see him leave. And even though it was a bit toolish, Josh calling out Aida for being a hooker was classic. Really, he had two girl, but Shawn’s were two of the most unattractive on the show. Can’t wait for the reunion special. Oh, as fo a prediction of winner and who is getting married, Josh for both of them. You can download Tool Academy on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It felt like we have already seen this show with Penny messing with Sheldon’s spot. And she didn’t even lose any points for disrupting it. And are we really supposed to believe Wolowitz has been with different girls? You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Chuck: Chuck is lucky that Sarah saved him from moving in with Morgan, that was a bad idea to end all bad ideas. Speaking of bad ideas to end all bad ideas, it was nice to see Brooklyn Decker on NBC after the network stupidly didn’t pick up her pilot Lipshitz Save the World. What moron thought that Kath & Kim was a better idea? Oh yeah, Ben Silverman. Thanks for depriving me of weekly installments of Brooklyn, you moron. You can stream current episodes over at You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

Lost: Just when you thought the show couldn’t get any more unbelievable: Sawyer gets domesticated. And did Horace have Amy’s husband killed? He has a truce with The Others, and Richard is pretty mad that two of his men were killed but in defense, Horace never mentioned they killed the husband first, then Horace promptly marries her. And shouldn’t little Ben be wondering around somewhere at this time? And why hasn’t Jin and Sawyer found Rose and Bernard when searching the island for Locke?

And I think I figured out why Locke and Ben didn’t flash with the Oceanic Six (assuming that Sun and Sayid did, and by the previews, he definitely did). We already know The Others aren’t doing the time warp so that is why Ben isn’t, and by turning the frozen donkey wheel, Locke got his Others inducted card. Of course I cannot account for Lapidus or Charlotte’s corpse, who will end up being the chick people saw leave with Lapidus. You can stream current episodes over at

Lost on iTunes

Survivor: Thankfully the Token Hot Chick got saved from getting voted off. They seem to be dropping early from recent Survivors. Hopefully she can at least make it to the jury. And I wonder if the secret alliance is going to crumble before it ever gets started. Taj looks like she is going to crack and the dude forgot to talk to Sierra. Hopefully they can make it to flip the game on its head and that Coach is their first casualty.
You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.

Survivor on iTunes

My Name Is Earl: Holy Booger Sighting! And really the show is much better when it is about Earl and his list. You can stream current episodes over at You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.

Friday Night Lights: Darn you Friday Night Lights, yet another emotional exit this week. It was hard not to yell at the screen hoping that would help Jason get a job. Hopefully with his exit, they at least find a way to work Herc into more storylines. Maybe the Riggins and him can flip more house. Or maybe he can turn out to be Jacob on Lost (it took me to recognize him up and dancing). You can stream current episodes over at

Friday Night Lights on iTunes