Best of the Week - 11/17/12

Quote of the Week: I got a pretty weak stomach especially when it comes to gross things. In the middle of the intestine is a chunk of fat that big. So it is a (expletive deleted) tube wrapped around fat… and topped with a testicle. (Zach, The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons)

Song of the Week: Pure Imagination – Willy Wonka (2 Broke Girls)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: More Drama with Army Men Than on Army Wives: To be honest I have tried to avoid the David Petaeus scandal because I am just waiting for the inevitable Lifetime movie to get the full story, but apparently there are sordid e-mails, shirtless pictures, and of course, twins. When will people learn they should not transmit their dirst laundry across the internet because it will always come out eventually. Seriously, I learned this lesson from Vanessa Hudgens five years ago, how could the CIA director not figure that out yet?

Preview Picture of the Week:


Free Download of the Week: Green Hill Christmas Music Sampler

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: Grab Greatest Hits from James Taylor, Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, and Bill Withers.


New Album Release of the Week: Stronger - Kate Earl

New DVD Release of the Week: The Expendables 2

Video of the Week: This week ABC debuted The Gift of Revenge which had the characters of Revenge (not surprisingly minus the two leads) being led to a party hosted by Nolan for no apparent reason. Okay it turned out to be an extremely long commercial for… um, I do not remember. But it reminded me of the revolutionary “pods” that were going to air instead of commercials which, if I am not mistaken, only lasted a week before they went back to normal commercial breaks. So apparently The CW were just ahead of their times (maybe it is time for a Farmer Takes a Wife reboot). But I wonder just who wrote The Gift of Revenge: the normal Revenge writers? An ad company? Are the ads supposed to be considered cannon? Suburgatory also has its own in show sponsor, which begs the question what is next? Are we going to learn the aliens from The Neighbors are actually the alien race from Halo? Are the doctors of Grey’s Anatomy going to play the kids game Operation?


Next Week Pick of the Week: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Thursday at 9:00 AM on NBC: Thanksgiving morning for me is putting some cinnamon rolls in the oven and turning on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Sure in recent it seems like I know less and less of the performance. Case in point this year: Cody Simpson, Megan & Liz, The Wanted, and Jennette McCurdy. The festivities will also include Carly Rae Jepsen, Flo Rida (because who says turkey more than Flo Rida), Neon Trees, Colbie Caillat, Karmin while the Olympic Gymnastics team, Jimmy Fallon and The Roots will jump on the floats.

Around the Tubes - 11/16/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on American Masters: Inventing David Geffen, Dungeons and Dragons: The Book of Vile Darkness, Whisker Wars, Cesar Millan: The Real Story, Witness: South Sudan, Smash, Cledus T.Judd, Bunheads, Martha Speaks, Cougar Town.

- This Tuesday, PBS will be airing American Masters: Inventing David Geffen at 8:00 (check your local listings). Notoriously press and camera-shy, David Geffen reveals himself for the first time in this unflinching portrait of a complex and compelling man. His far-reaching influence as an agent, manager, record industry titan, Hollywood and Broadway producer, and billionaire philanthropist helped shape American popular culture for the past four decades. Witty, self-aware and candid, Geffen and over 50 of his friends, colleagues and clients, as well as other media luminaries, including Cher, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Elton John, Don Henley, Neil Young, Jackson Browne, Nora Ephron, Mike Nichols, Clive Davis, and Irving Azoff.

- Need more dragons with your turkey leftovers this year? If the answer is yes, you are in luck because next Saturday (11/24) Syfy will premiere their new original movie Dungeons and Dragons: The Book of Vile Darkness. Check out the trailer below:


- The new season of Whisker Wars returns next Friday to IFC right around the time you to get the cranberry sauce out of your beard. Check out the trailer below:



- The new Cesar Millan show Leader of the Pack does not premiere until January, but you can get a sneak peak Thanksgiving weekend during Cesar Millan: The Real Story airing Sunday November 25 at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild.

- HBO’s Witness series continues this Monday with South Sudan. In this installment, Veronique de Viguerie – follows the "Arrow Boys" and their struggle against mass murderer General Kony is South Sudan.

- In the least surprising news of the week, Liza Minnelli will appear as herself on the upcoming season of Smash. And yes she will be singing on the show.

- New music out this week include Parodyziac!! by Cledus T.Judd including a song featuring Rodney Carrington.

- Bunheads is set to return Monday, January 7 at 9:00 on ABC Family and they recently released the key art. Take a gander below:



- PBS KIDS' Martha Speaks is celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with a brand-new episode highlighting Martha's search for her family. Tune-in to learn more about Martha's history all Thanksgiving week long beginning November 19, 2012 on PBS KIDS (check local listings).

- Casting alert! Shirley Jones (The Partridge Family) is set to guest star on the upcoming TBS season of Cougar Town. Jones will be playing an elderly woman who buys Grayson’s old house under the condition that Jules spends time with her.

Lyrics Quiz: It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I'm Starting to get Worried)

About 26 centuries ago the Mayans created a calendar that ended December 21, 2012. Some have theorized that it was a prediction of when the world would end. Then again maybe the calendar maker though 2,600 years into the future was enough, maybe he died and no one wanted to continue his work, or he simply ran out of room. So in honor of what could very well be my last lyrics quiz ever, I have dedicated the theme to apocalyptic songs and the paranoia that goes along with thinking the world is going to end. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section (or e-mail me). If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. When I woke up this morning could have sworn it was judgment day. The sky was all purple there were people running everywhere.
2. We can live beside the ocean, live them all behind. Swim out past the breaker, watch the world die.
3. The ice age is coming, the sun’s zooming in. Engines stop running, the wheat is growing thing. A nuclear era, but I have no fear.
4. I hear hurricanes a blowing. I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers overflowing. I hear the voice of raising ruins.
5. Hey Satan! Paid my dues playing in a rocking band. Hey momma! Look at me I’m on my way to the Promised Land.
6. We’re leaving together, but it’s still farewell. And maybe we’ll come back to Earth. Who can tell? I guess there is no one to blame.
7. War, children, it’s just a shot away.
8. I’m gonna rock you like a baby when the cities fall. We will rise as the buildings crumble, float there and watch it all. Amidst the burning, we’ll be churning. Our love will be our wings, passion rising up from the ashes.
9. There’s too many men, too many people making too many problems and not much love to go around. (Land of Confusion - Genesis; guessed by Kevin)
10. We held a concert out in Brooklyn to watch the Island Bridges blow. They turned our power down and drove us underground but we went right with the show.
11. Thirteen month old baby broke the looking glass. Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past.
12. Perhaps you never sleep because every time you doze you catch blows to the (expletive deleted) nose. Ain’t seen the sun in 66 days. Like me count the ways in a (expletive deleted) maze.
13. Take the power back. It’s time the fat cats had a heart attack. You know that there time is coming to an end. We have to unify and watch out flag ascend.
14. Panic bells, it’s red alert. There’s something here from somewhere else. The war machine springs to life.
15. Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom . Then the father hen will call his chickens home.
16. It's the same everyday in a hell man made. What can be saved, and who will be left to hold her?
17. Last time we met it was a low lit room. We were close together as a bride and groom. We ate the food, drank the wine. Everybody having a good time. Except you.
18. In silk suit, trying not to sweat. Hit summersaults without the net. But this’ll be the year we won’t forget. One-nine, nine, nine, Ano Domini, anything goes.
19. I didn’t mean take up all you sweet time. I give it back one of these days. I don’t need you no more in this world. I’ll meet you on the next one, so don’t be late.
20. God bless us everyone we’re a broken people living under loaded gun. Now he can’t be out fought, he can’t be out done, he can’t be matched, he can’t be outrun.
21. Feel it coming in the air. Hear the screams from everywhere. I'm addicted to the thrill. It’s a dangerous love affair. Can’t be scared when it goes down. Got a problem, tell me now.
22. Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me, maim me, tame me, you can never change me.
23. Sad can’t catch me, call me baby now. When it's all I use to believe. If the sun don't light, and the night won’t turn…
24. Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile. Sunspots have faded and now I'm doing time.
25. Lenard Bernstein!

I Want My Music Television - 11/14/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Lovers of the Light – Mumford and Sons


What the frack is going on in the new Mumford and Sons video? There just seems to be random images of a blind Idris Elba with Taylor Swift’s shocked face and deer.


Stray Heart - Green Day


The new Green Day music video brings new meaning to the word “brokenhearted”. I particularly enjoyed the smoking heart.


Carry On - Fun


Is anyone really interested in a Fun behind the scenes music video? Those should really be reserved for hair metal bands.


This Kiss - Carly Rae Jepsen


I think we are closer to the end of the Carly Rae Jepsen era (although I should wait until the hundredth time I’ve listen to the song before making a definitive statement) because this just does not feel like a hit even though it sounds like chorus sounds like as close they could to ripping of Kiss On My List without violating copyright law.

Previewing Doomsday Preppers 2.x

My sources tell me that the world is coming to an end in five weeks, and no show on television properly gets you ready for the end of times better than Doomsday Preppers which returns tonight for a second season with back to back episodes. Although if I were to play armchair programmer, it is a shame that National Geographic Channel did not start the season a month ago so the entire season could end before the conclusion of the Mayan Calendar with a special end of the world season finale (possibly series if, you know, the world really ended) just days before the world came to an end. Maybe the suits at the network do not think the world will be coming to an end next month.

I find Doomsday Preppers enjoyable if only because it is nice to know there are people out there more paranoid out there than I am. For the unaware, the show follows three people (or families) that are preparing for worst case scenarios: terrorist attacks, natural disasters, and anarchy. Then at the end of each segment, the show confers with expert Preppers on how they can approve and rate them on a scale of one hundred and will even give a probability of their fears actually coming true (spoiler alert! they always turn out to slim to none).

Tonight you will meet a family preparing for a small pox epidemic (well the father is, the rest of the family seems to be sheepishly following him), a fifteen year old prepping for the economic collapse (dude started during the banking crisis… when he was eleven), a terrorist attacking a nearby nuclear facility (apparently moving away from a nuclear plant is not an option), multiple F-5 tornados, nuclear war, the melting Greenland ice sheets (moving from Florida to northern Texas was not enough prepping to the couple).

Just how far do the Doomsday Preppers go? Of course there are fallout bunkers stocked with a year’s supply of food, 1000 gallons of water, 10,000 pounds of wood, and the occasional chicken, but some of these people go the extra mile. One prepper has so many contingency plans, he even recruited his wife’s twin sister for a new mommy for his children just in case something happens to the original along with three ways to escape: car, ATV, and even boat (though I noticed there was only enough room for the three adults, so the two kids and dog would be out of luck then). But my favorite is the dad so scared of a small pox epidemic that not only does he practice evacuations, he even went so far as to set up a surprise military checkpoint for his family to go through on their way to their secluded cabin. And I thought I was paranoid.

Doomsday Preppers airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel. You can stream recent episode on Hulu. You can also download Doomsday Preppers on iTunes.

Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die - A Book Review

God bless you Willie Nelson. Who else would name their autobiography Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die (or course there is a song of the same name off his latest album Heroes which Willie also recorded with Snoop Dogg, probably the only other person who would write a book of the same name). Although thanks to all the smoking Willie has done in his life, this is not your normal autobiography and really reads more like a diary.

The book starts off like a normal autobiography with Willie talking about growing up Abbott, Texas including his first couple memories. You get stories about Willie and his buddies punching bees and his first couple jobs before he started making money playing music. Then out of nowhere he goes on a diatribe about Occupy Wall Street (Willie is not fond that the same people that complain about welfare are quick to put their hands out for subsidies) and from there it is a hodgepodge of anything that crosses Willie’s mind for 169 pages.

There are stories throughout Willie’s life, song lyrics, diary like entries of the last couple months while writing the book, short thoughts of the day, and more than a few joke, most of them dirty. There are even entries buy friends and family of Willie’s, most of which end up being longer than some of the segments that Willie wrote. The book also features plenty of photos of Willie with his family. The book is so family oriented that there are even illustrations by Willie’s son Micah.

The shortness of the stories is a plus and a negative. It is nice for people like me who have only a short time to read thing and do not get stuck in a chapter when he needs to start doing something else. But when he gets to some interesting stories you are left wanting more. Personally I would have like a lot more on his time in The Highwaymen. Thanks to his proclivity for the greener things in life, we may never get a proper autobiography where Willie goes in depth into these stories, but Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die should give a good insight to the man to any Willie Nelson fan. And of course if there are any of those people on your Christmas list, this will make a great gift with almost a month until the holidays.


Full Disclousure Notice: This book was given to me by William Morrow / Harper Collins Publishers for review.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 11/11/12

Once Upon a Time: So the due from the start of the season turned out to be Henry’s dad. I figured it was either that or he was going to turn out to be Mr. Gold’s son. But did they really have to wait until the sixth episode to show the guy again? I completely forgot he existed until he popped up on the “previously on” segment. And why exactly are Henry and Sleeping Beauty having shared dreams. I guess we will have to wait until episode twelve (at the earliest) for that answer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So just what is The Initiative up to now? Although I would rather know at this point why exactly they downed that aircraft first. And what exactly is Emily’s end game for Mason Treadwell because he basically has already figured out who she is. Is she going to use him as a pawn or is he going to end up with the White Haired Man?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Just when you thought the election would cause the most joy this week (at least for the socialists), the show had to go and kill off Lori. And they had to do it very graphically as her baby was cut right out of her as she was left to bleed to death until her son ended her suffering. Ouch. It was about as close as a zombie baby eat its way out as all the fanboys wanted as you could get. I love how the show this season has said, forget plot, forget character growth, let’s just gross everyone out. Oh yeah, T-Dawg died too.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Homeland: I finally caught up on this season and at the end of last season I thought the show would have been better if Brody either blew himself up or got caught and now that Brody is now a triple agent I am beginning to think I was right. And even though the genesis was a great, Oh Crap moment, I do not really care about the whole privileged boy kills a nobody with Dana being caught in a moral dilemma storyline. But the show continues to keep you on your toes like when the Arab Swat Team (including the nameless dude working with Roya) came in and killed everyone. And that was a big box,

The Voice: Oh America, how could you have gotten things so wrong, but oh so right. Let’s start from least to most surprising (which not so surprisingly is how they were revealed this week). It was pretty obvious that the three that would move on from Team Adam would be Amanda (who gave not only the best performance of the week, but of the whole season), Bryan, and Melanie; even though I thought Melanie would get the America’s vote with Adam saving Bryan. It is nice to see America was not fooled by Melane’s façade and she may not be around much longer (though I bet all of Christina’s team will be gone first).

The America’s Vote for Blake’s Team was obvious wit Cassadee and Terry breezing through. It was mildly surprisingly that Blake went with Michaela over the country girl Liz Davis and the Lou Diamond Philips endorsed Julio Cesar Castillo even though Michaela did have the slightly better performance of the three this week. Which begs the question, what happened to the Last Chance performances? I quite enjoyed those.

Now on to the more shocking results. It was not all that surprising that Sylvia got through by America because she had the standout performance with her piano enhanced version of a Katy Perry song (though I wonder just how much she was playing because I could still her the piano being played when she lifted her hand off the instrument, and could she have picked a song that was not already preformed this season; actually everyone just needs to stop singing Katy Perry on the show period). But I was severely disappointed that America also chose Dez over the much more entertaining De'Borah or one of the hot chicks. Seriously, why is it that the horrible cute boys always get through but never the mediocre hot chicks? And just when you think Christina was going to correct America’s wrong by sending De’Borah through, she picks one of the hot chicks. She did not even pick the better hot chick either. Carson crowed that everyone contestant this week charted on iTunes, but Adriana barely cracked the top 200 on the Pop charts while Devyn was in the top 100. (Laughable, as all twenty of The Voice contestants charted on iTunes, only one from The X-Factor charted on the Top 200.)

Now for the most shocking result of the week, I figured Dez being picked by America was a harbinger that the even less talented but cuter MacKenzie Bourg would also be pushed through by the annoying teen girl faction. Adam even laughably called MacKenzie an “American Idol” after his performance, a not so suitably dig the other show’s penchant for crowning mediocre cute boys who play guitar. Thankfully America ended up picking the best two singers in Trevin and the great but awesomely strange looking Nickolas while Cee-Lo made a rare good decision (granted his Live Show decisions do tend to be much better than his Battle Round decisions in saving Cody. De’Borah may have gone home too soon, but at least we will still have at least one more week of little Bam Bam.

Next week is when the real playoffs begin because for the first time anyone from any team can go home, not just one or two from each team. Ever since the announcement I assumed Team Christina would be the first three out (which makes me wonder if Christina is just a horrible judge of talent or if she sabotaged her team so they would be the first out so she could focus on promoting her new album out this week). Adriana is most; likely first out the door followed by either Dez, unless the teen girls rise up after the loss of MacKenzie, or Sylvia, unless she can pull another performance out like this week. But I have a feeling Christina’s three, along with Michaela, will be the first four out. At any rate, here is my personal Power Rankings of the Top 12:

Top 12 Power Rankings

1. Amanda Brown
2. Nicholas David
3. Trevin Hunte
4. Cassadee Pope
5. Cody Belew
6. Terry McDermott
7. Sylvia Yacoub
8. Michaela Paige
9. Brian Keith
10. Adriana Louise
11. Melanie Martinez
12. Dez Duron

One last thing: did they really air a Tweet from disgraced Senator David Vitter? You know, the family values candidate who got caught paying for prostitutes; and still managed to get reelected after the scandal. And people wonder why everyone hates Congress so much; stupid people in stupid states keep on reelecting stupid people like Vitter. When will people learn we need to vote out all the bums, even if they have your favorite letter next to their name.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Castle: I was a bit disappointed that during a heavy sci-fi episode they did not bring in more stunt casting other than Principal Snyder. But it was still pretty funny and entertaining at any rate.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: Probst loves talking in hyperbole, but I have to agree that this was one of the biggest mess of a tribal council ever. Occasionally you may have one person lay all the cards on the table as a last gasp, or out of spite at Tribal Council, but this is the first time when almost everyone laid out all their cards. Of course Malcolm pretty much had to confess to having the Idol and he was using it (which he wisely did not), but I was flabbergasted when Probst sarcastically asked if anyone wanted to show theirs only for Abi to comply. Then you had you had two people openly lobbing for voted laying out their plans. And of course Tribal was capped off by a bizarre vote because for some reason Penner voted for Abi instead of Pete like the rest of his alliance. I do not know if he thought the other alliance was voting for Malcolm and Abi would give Pete her Idol and his brilliant vote would end up being the only one that counted or he did it out of spite for his alliance turning on him last week. At any rate, a great episode. I have said it before and I will say it again, Survivor needs to cast many more morons. But the biggest loser of all was Jeff Kent who wanted so bad to make sure he made it further than Penner he made a horrible decision last week and still ended up leaving before Penner. This is why he went on Survivor after baseball instead of becoming a manager.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Did no one else notice the awesomely creepy painting of Hayley and Dylan hanging in her dormroom wall?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Subugatory: The show is the funniest on television but the one misstep it takes is the crappy title sequence. Well at least I now that the title is the fault of Tessa’s mother.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Nashville: Is it wrong that I was really enjoyed when Juliet got slapped?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: As much a I enjoyed watching San Diego imploding, Brooklyn made a serious tactical error by picking the behemoth on the team to go in. Sure you would think he would not do well in a mental challenge, but that challenge is really only a mental challenge for the female and for the guy it is more about strength and endurance, the behemoth’s strong points. If Brooklyn wanted to send someone home from San Diego home, they should have chosen Frank (who was wise not to volunteer) who I do not think could have made it to the bottom of the tank.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.

Last Resort: There are fewer things I have more than dream sequences and hallucinations are just dream sequences when you are awake.
You can stream recent episodes on Last Resort on iTunes.