Thursday, March 03, 2005

He (Still) Hate Me

The NFL recently took the word "Gay" off their list of forbidden word that can be put on the back of their jerseys. But the big news is not was taken off the list but what is still on. On the list of about 1100 word the would make every middle schooler or frat boy giggle is Rod Smart's old XFL slogan, "HeHateMe." Hold grudges long, NFL?

Oh, and ladies, I'm sorry to inform you that "Lesbo" is still on the list too.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

It's March Madness Baby!

It's my favorite time of the year, St. Patrick's Day, my birthday, Peeps (during the occasional March Easter), spring training, Shamrock Shakes, and most importantly March Madness. I'm actually coming off my best outing ever coming in third in the office pool. So I figured I would pass on my college basketball wisdom on to you. Even though Selection Sunday is still a good two weeks away there are a few rules you can abide by every year without having to see the bracket.

Rule #1 - Never bet on Bob Huggins. Cincinnati never seems to get pass the first weekend and I think it is safe to assume Mr. Drunk Driving is the reason why. And since they are usually an 8 seed or higher, Cincinnati is always good for upset points.

Rule #2 - Never bet on the Big Ten. It's never a good idea to trust institutions of higher learning that can't count and the Big Ten backs that philosophy up. It's always guaranteed that at the end of the first weekend, when they show the breakdown of how the all the major conferences did, the Big Ten always has the worst record. Then everyone questions why they got so many bids, and then the next year they still get 4-6 more bids to the Big Dance. And that means 3-5 more upset points for us.

Rule #3 - Duke always makes it to the Sweet 16. Coach K is the anti-Huggins. One guy never sees the second weekend while the other has his hotel booked for his second site. Some people may argue that Duke is an automatic Final Four pick every year, and that would be a good bet most years but Sweet 16 is a guarantee when it comes to Duke.

Rule # 4 - The MAC is always good for a win. As a product of the Mid-American Conference, I am very aware of this rule. Every year the Mac is overlooked and draws a 10-12 seed then knocks off the 5-7 seed (usually an at large bid from an overrated conference) thus racking up the upset points.
The Gonzaga Corollary - To go a step further on Rule #4, always pick any lower Mid Major seed vs. a 4th or lower from a major conference. Most major conferences do not deserve 4 or more bids and prove with early exits from those teams.

Rule #5 - Home Court Matters. College Basketball is the sport where home court/field advantage is most prominent. Yes, I know there is no home court advantage in March Madness because they play on neutral courts, but when you (or your fans) have to travel less than 50 miles to get to get to the game than you are at a distinct advantage. So when you are filling out your brackets pay close attention where the first weekend games are taken place.

Check back later for more rules to be added. Maybe.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Best. Oscars. Ever.

O.K. I don't have basis for making that statement due to this was the first time I have watched more than five minutes of the award show. Chris Rock was on point for most of the night though not as good as his Video Music Awards appearances. I guess it’s easier to come up with Brittney Spears jokes that it is to make jokes about Cate Blanchett or Scarlett Johansson. Best joke of the night goes to the upcoming Catwoman II. Although I found it interesting that Rock said he wasn't going to make Bush jokes then proceeded to compare his presidency to the Gap. Here are some other random thoughts on the night's festivities:

Morgan Freeman wins the obligatory "You should have won for another film (Shawshank Redemption) so we will give you one now" annual award.

- Beyoncé performs with a boy's choir. T.I. still remains the softest artist she's performed with.

- Even when playing a stripper, Natalie Portman exudes more class than her all of the girls her age.

- Did I miss Leonardo DiCaprio having a stroke? It looked like the right side of his mouth wasn't moving as if he has a stroke.

- I not sure what was more entertaining, having all the nominees on stage or awarding the people at their seats. And who decided which awards were awarded how? The Cinematography people got the award the old fashion way. Really? Did the draw the shortest straw or something? And some of the awards on stage were not able to fit all the nominees.

- I wonder if Michael Moore would have stood on stage with the other documentary nominees.

- What with a happy Counting Crows song? Please bring back
'Round Here, A Long December Counting Crows.

- Jake Gyllenhaal gets introduced as the star of The Day After Tomorrow. Isn't there a better intro for him? Wait a minute, a look at there really isn't much to pick from. Bubble Boy anyone? They might as well introduced him as the guy who dated Kirsten Dunst.

- Was that Vin Diesel with hair in the Sidney Lament tribute?

- Beyoncé is singing a song written for a guy. Interesting pick

id anyone else notice the director of the Oscar's orchestra giving an obscene gesture?

- Best non-Rock moment of the night - someone waking up one of the Best Short Film nominees.

- Interesting that one of the awards given at the seats was given to the only nominee without an isle seat. I would have taken that as a sign that I wasn't going to win.

- During my Grammy blog I wondered about the thing on the back of Jamie Foxx's head and I'm pretty sure that it is a tattoo. I think it may be a lighting bolt. I really need a better look at that thing.

-On another Foxx note I have not seen Ray (like every other nominated film) nor plan on ever seeing it for two reason. Number one being that I boycott all bio flicks. Why would anyone want to see Will Smith in Ali when you can see
When We Were Kings instead. The real thing is always better than a Hollywood film that over exaggerates the story. Secondly I will never see another Jamie Foxx film until I get the hour and a half of my life back that I lost watching Booty Call.

- It is out that they would have
Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek to present the sound awards considering I couldn't understand a word they said. But when it comes down to it, who really cares what they say.

- Beyoncé performs with some dude named Josh Grobin. T.I. still the softest artist Beyoncé has performed with. This being her third performance of the night begs the question why? I can't believe the Black Eyed Peas were not available to do the Phantom of the Opera song, and then proceed to combine it with
Let's Get Retarded it Started.

Is it just me or is
Melanie Griffith looking more and more like the cat woman every year?

- The Academy really needs to stop giving
Hilary Swank awards before she become to big to do "Karate Kid Part IV, Hilary vs. Daniel Son".

- They introduce Samuel Jackson as Coach Carter. Now I now there is a better introduction for him, Jules, Frozone, Officer Tenpenny, even Mace Windu would be a better introduction.

- In the end, Million Dollar Baby win the Best Picture. I still would have voted for Dodge Ball.