Saturday, July 23, 2005

Lost Ones

I was recently pointed in the direction of an extremely interesting trailer for the launch of in Britain (You can check it out here). It was directed by David LaChapelle, so if you are familiar with him, you know it will be strange. And if you don’t know who he is, LaChapelle is responsible for Moby’s Natural Blues, Bink182’s Feeling This videos and the Burger King commercial featuring the dude from . And if you remember the Rolling Stone cover that started Brittney Spear not so innocent phase, David LaChapelle. But he has nothing to do with Rick James though. But back to Lost, since the file is quite big, I’ll give a play by play for the dial-up viewers.

First the ad is features a song by and the cast is located on the beach with the plane on fire in the background. The first shot focuses in on Hurley who is carrying luggage. Then we get a shot of Jin and Sun, Sayid and Shannon, and Boone and Claire dancing. Cut to Michael also carrying luggage backwards, but it looks extremely tired. Then we get Jack and Kate dancing and Charlie dancing by himself, and for Charlie, I use the term dancing loosely as it is possible he might be having a seizure. Then were are back to some of the couples dancing some more then on to Locke who looks like he’s conducting an orchestra. Cut to Michael cutting and dancing with Sun. Cut to Kate and Sawyer dancing then back to Locke conducting some more only this time he’s been joined by Walt. Then we get a stare down between Jack and Sawyer only to reveal Kate in-between them and then floats towards Jack (not literally floats but she defiantly looks high here). And now Sun is back with Jin and Kate with Sawyer. Then we get a bigger view with most of the cast and something explodes in the background. Then Clair is off by herself. Cut to Jin and Sun and Sayid and Shannon dancing then Charlie by himself. Another wide shot is next and Kate is back with Jack and Sawyer is wondering, looking at everyone else. Then we get a scene where it looks like Boone and Sayid are catching Shannon, possibly fighting over her. Cut to Kate walking backwards into the ocean and back to the regular couples dancing again and Jack and Hurley talking. Last we see Clair sitting in front of some burning wreckage.

Even though the ad was made for the first run of the show in Britain, I can’t help but think that it has some foreshadowing for the upcoming season two here in the U.S. The first thing that struck me the coupling of Boone and Claire. Why isn’t Claire with Charlie? She really didn’t have any interaction with Boone in the first season and probably won’t in the second on account of Boone’s death. Although, that does help two theories that I currently have, 1) Claire dies and 2) Boone (and everyone else who died is) what’s in the hatch. The ending with Claire in front of the fire also helps my Claire dies theory. It was also interesting that Michael and Walt do not interact. With Walt and Locke conducting, one can assume that they are controlling what happens on the island. More specifically, I believe that Walt is the key to controlling the monster.

In American commercial news for Lost, there is a hidden ad on the website (granted I bypassed the absurdity and just downloaded it from another website). All the pictures and sounds are from the last season, but the text that goes across the screen is interesting:

They survived on luck.
They survived on instinct.
But on the other side of the island…
They will discover…
They’re not the survivors.
They’re NOT the survivors. (Repeat that a couple more times)
They’re not the survivors they thought they were.

Ok, I’ve already concluded that Rose’s husband and Ana Lucia are on the other side of the island and it just so happens that is where Michael, Jin, and Sawyer end up. What I’m lost on (get it lost, oh never mind) is why they are not the survivors they thought they were? On the other side of the island, do they have people dissing them on the internet (even though their momma should have taught them better than that)? Does everyone have the eye of the tiger? Do they have to put up with a naked, fat, gay-homosexual walking around all of the time? I just don’t know. But the biggest question is, could they possibly have a hotter token hot chick on their side of the island? The second season of lost can’t start soon enough for me. (Check out my review of season 1 here - Guys (Dramatic Pause) Where are We?)

Friday, July 22, 2005

Musings From the Back 9 vol. VII

kanyeWest_125x125I mentioned a while back that Kanye West’s remix (with Jay-Z) to the song Diamond (From Sierra Leone) and how it talked about the atrocities that happen just to bring your bling to the US (Throw Up Your Diamonds Like You’re Bulimic). If you haven’t read that already, I highly recommend it. Also if you were interesting to hear the song for yourself, the remix is now currently available on iTunes. I can’t recommend this song enough.

After week of doing insane stunk after insane stunt, Tom Cruise have finally did something of importance, he pissed off the French. It was reported recently the Cruise is no long welcome in the country. Welcome back to humanity Tom.

There was a lot of backlash with John McCain appearing in the R-rated movie, Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. One reporter even printed a title reading “Sen. McCain stars in ‘boob raunch fest.’” McCain responded by saying, “In Washington, I work with boobs everyday.” He even seemed more upset that he appeared in the same movie as James Carville than with a bunch of boobs. So all the prudes out there that think this is a bad thing, relax, and go see the movie because it’s hilarious. Not to mention, McCain gave his entire paycheck from the film to charity.

Speaking of boob raunch fest, it looks like Mike Tyson is looking at getting into porn. He has already contacted Jenna Jemison’s production company. Just when you think Tyson couldn’t get any more entertaining, he always seems to out do himself.

cooterMuch like me, it seems like the original Cooter from wants you to boycott the new movie. Now I think people should boycott the movie because it doesn’t star
and . Cooter on the other hand doen’t want people to see it because Hollywood is sleezing up a “family show.” I was unaware that rasist imagry, short shorts, and dudes named Cooter qualify as family entertainment. Does he even know what Cooter means? But it looks like family values to Cooter (at right) is having girls that could be you daughter rub up against you.

It appears that Hilary 2008 is in full swing when the Senator attacked for having a hidden scene with a naked woman. So let me get this straight, in the Clinton household, dudes blowing each other up with rocket launchers – O.K. Naked pixilated women – bad.

Weird search of the week:
arab chick stereotypes forums (AOL)

Here are the results of the Live 8 Lyrics Quiz that were not guessed:

13. She couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter Alexis. (All Falls Down – Kanye West)
18. I can’t wait for the first time. My imagination is running wild. (You Don’t Know My Name – Alicia Keys)
20. You’re talking so much sex, but you’re not telling us about AIDS. (It Takes More – Ms. Dynamite)
23. She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie. (Then She Bit Me – DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince)

Congratulations to for make the most correct answers (4). Since this was fairly successful, I will be bringing back a new lyrics quiz with a new theme on the 15th of every month. I have also put up a winner’s circle in the margin so be sure to come back each month (or just come back everyday) to try your hand at the new lyrics quiz.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I'm Going to Win a Blog Design From Digitally Essential!

A wise man once said
That, “A Change is Gonna Come”
Let’s prove Sam Cooke right.

The ladies over at Digitally Essential are holding a contest to win a free blog design. I do like the whole earth tone vibe the current template has, but recently, I had an idea to put a golf themed banner at the top and go with more of a grassy type background. I was also toying with the idea of adding another margin on the right side and I’ve also wanted proper headers for the sections in the margin. Unfortunately Haikus have never been my strength, as the contest requires. As my long time readers know, I tend to write quite lengthy entries so writing something that only has 17 syllables would not be easy for me. I thought about asking Mr. Slice, who has been churning out Haikus regularly recently. Then I realized one of my favorite sayings, “A wise man once said” was exactly 5 syllables, and one of my favorite songs, “A Change is Gonna Come” was 6, I figured the rest was easy, so I decided to though my hat into the ring. Contest ends tomorrow for anyone else who want to give it a try. I’m not sure how long the judges will deliberate, but if things go my way, you may see some extra maintained to the 9th green. Maybe I’ll even change the pin location, throw in a bunker, and try to Tiger-proof it too, not that it’s possible.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

These Are Things I Feel

Self Help Serenade - Marjorie Fair

Riding the wave of the a year too late is Marjorie Fair. With its melodic beats and soothing voices, any song off their first album, , would have fit well in the Zach Braff film. The band also has a strong retro-pop vibe and at times on the album conjures up thoughts of breezy 70’s bands like and .

An album like this is very hard to review because it is so mellow, you just space out and it’s over before you know it. The group itself finds it hard to classify as lead singer, Evan Slamka tried to explain, “If I'm bored or doing some psycho-therapy on myself, I'll maybe look through the lens of the record and try to figure out what it's about, what it means.” I think I even zoned out when I first read that.

And like artist on the Garden State Soundtrack, a lot of the lyrics are introspective. On the stand out track, Empty Room, Slamka sings, “I don’t want to die young. But if I do, fill my empty room with the sun.” Even gloomier is Waves where he mourns, “The person I thought I was, is something that I don’t thing is coming true.” So if obsess over , Self Help Serenade is right up your alley.

Song to Download – Empty Room

Self Help Serenade gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Even More Flip-Flops in Washington

Northwestern Lacrosse at the White HouseToday’s big new is that Northwestern Women’s Lacrosse team wore flip flops to the White House. Apparently the blow hards think this was disrespectful to the integrity of the building. But let’s be honest, the integrity of the White House has been ruined by the people who have inhabited it for the last 13 years. They have done more to discredit the honor of the White House more than any flip-flops could. It also seems appropriate that flip-flops would be worn in the White House (get it, flip flops and politicians, oh never mind). It’s also good to hear about articles of clothing in the White House that didn’t have, um, never mind, I won’t go there.

What I’m outraged about is when does winning the Women’s Lacrosse College National Championship warrant a visit to the White House? I guess the local T-ball champions should save up their allowances because it looks like anyone who has won anything can get a picture with the president as long as they have airfare to get to Washington. I mean it’s not like the guy is busy with wars, finding a new Supreme Court judge, White House leaks, hating gays, ignoring our borders, and social security. Wait, what happened to social security? Did that get scrapped?

But it looks like this story will have a happy ending. The offending players are planning to action off the infamous footwear with all the money raised going to a fund to help a 10 year old girl with a brain tumor.

Monday, July 18, 2005

We On Award Tour - 2005 ESPY Awards

ESPY Awards were on last night although if you have visited lately, then you were bombarded with articles about the winners, best dressed and all that goes with the awards since the awards show was actually last week sometimes. I really hate that not only are they not live, but they let out all the secrets before it airs and for those of us that don’t want anything spoiled, we have to be very careful at what we look at. But anyways, here are my highlights from the festivities:

- In the opening “Images” montage it mentioned the major athletes that have retired this year including Emmett Smith. I seriously missed that announcement, I guess I never though that he would retire. I fully expected him to be the Ricky Henderson of football.

- Also in the opening montage was multiple Ron Artest sightings which made me wonder why they don’t have “Worst Sports Moment” award.

Maria Sharapova- Dwayne Wade wins the Breakthrough Athlete award. They might have as well given the award to Shaq, because without him in Miami, Wade is just another decent player with no personality. I’m sure if guys would have known what Maria Sharapova would have been wearing, the voting might have gone a different way. That dress catapulted her over Anna Kournikova in the hotness ranking.

- It makes sense that Jessica Biel was a presenter at the ESPY’s because she is built like a linebacker.

- I have to admit I was totally conned by the Hoosiers 2 bit. I extremely mad when Amare Stoudemire and (um, was I supposed to know who the other dude was?) introduced the film. Luckily it was just a joke but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a remake the way Hollywood is pumping out recycled ideas. (FYI – next up in the remake department, and sadly this isn’t a joke, LL Cool J in Fatal Attraction.)

- Nothing say “Know way I’m seeing this” like hearing a movie is starring Tyrese, the weird dude from , some random dude, and Marky Mark. But somehow this makes them eligible to be presenters. I haven’t looked, but I’d put sizeable money that their movie is being distributed by one of Disney subsidiaries. And if you are unaware, ESPN is one of them.

- It was funny during the Best Coach montage that all the coaches had elaborate plays filled with X’s and O’s to go along with their part and Terry Francona’s bit was just a steal. If any baseball manager wins this award, there is a serious problem.

Natalie Coughlin was robbed and what's up with that dude's sideburns.  I hope that wasn't her date.- Natalie Coughlin was robbed as the Best Female Olympic Performance went to the USA Softball Team. It wasn’t the Best Females Olympic Performances, so a team shouldn’t even have been eligible. Shame on anyone who voted for them.

- Maria Sharapova wins Best Female Tennis Player yet we don’t get to see her accept it as it was thrown in with the awards previously given out montage. Bad mistake as ESPN once again screwed its make demographic another shot of her in that dress.

Hopefully Carly Patterson is just being affected by the 10 pounds the camera adds- Holy Carly Patterson sighting! It might just been the camera angle, but it sure looked like she has packed on the pounds since last August. I guess that’s what happens when you are allowed to eat for the first time in your life. But she may want to slow down or she just might find herself on Celbrity Fit Club 3.

- The Spelling Bee bit rivels anything Vince Vaugn has done on the MTV Movie Awards. “Spell Sharapova.” “Can you use it in a sentence?” “I would like to go on a date with Maria Sharapova.”

- Can some one tell how Wilmer Vanderama got so lucky? First he dates a barely legal , then he lands the not so legal Lindsey Lohan before she got ugly, now he’s presenting with Maria Sharapova. And he’s not on an ABC show nor does he have a Disney venture to promote. I really need to find out how to become Ashton Kutcher’s sidekick.

- Next up is the best segment on any awards show, The Arthur Ashe Award, given this year to Jim McLaren, a Yale football star who was pronounced dead after being hit by a bus. But he recovered and set multiple records for a one legged athlete only to be hit by a van while riding a bike in a triathlon and was told by doctors he would not be able to feel or move anything below his head ever again. The awards was also givin to a man who was inspired by McLaren, Emmanuel Ofosu Yeboah who was born without a bone in his leg in Ghana, a country where disabled children are routinely killed at birth. Yeboah went on to ride a bike across his home country, 370 miles, on a bike that was donated by a program that was inspired by McLaren. The highlight of the segment came when originally diagnosed paraplegic, McLaren, was seen wiping away his tears with his own hands while accepting the award in front of a stand ovation.

- There was a Monday Night Football reunion between Terrel Owens and Nicollette Sheridan. For those keeping track at home she joined Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), Michael Vartan (), James Denton (), Nick and Jessica (Nick and Jessica's Tour of Duty), and Kelly Preston (Sky High) as blatant Disney product placement at the ESPY’s. I’m sure if you look at the other actors at the awards you will also find they are Disney products. Yet surprisingly no one from Lost made an appearance. Could they not at least brought in the token hot chick from the show.

- Blake Hoffarber won the Best Play award. I don’t want to tell Mr. Slice I told you so (although just by typing it I think I just did. Sorry.)

Which would you rather have - an ESPY or Estella Warren?- wins Best Sports Movie, the director picked up the trophy but when you’re dating Estella Warren, that’s really award enough.

- It seems like The Rock will be soon dropped from his name as he is starting to be introduced as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Bad move as The Rock sound much cooler than Dwayne. Dwayne always conjures images of Dwayne Wayne and his flip glasses. This is a potential career killer. Granted this affect Wayne Wade marking ability much worse.

- The night closes with a perforce by with some weird Riverdance type chorography. This just may give us an insight in the post-Destiny’s Child careers on the two members of the group not named Beyoncé as they soon may be Michael Flattley’s sidekicks.

Final Scooter Talley:
Voted For: 6 for 17 (.353)
Predicted Correctly: 7 for 17 (.412)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Welcome Back Hockey, Now Here are Some Changes

With the return of hockey, I have a few suggestions.

Al McInnis1. Get Rid of the Blue Lines – This is a rule that everyone who plays EA's NHL Series turns off immediately because it is extremely annoying and in real life slows down the game to a grinding halt either because some one violated the rule or a team holds the puck while avoiding the infraction. Basically all this rule does is award teams that are to lazy to guard players.

2. Get rid of all teams below St. Louis – Who ever though that people would fans would want to watch the Stanley Cup in June when they could be going to the beach is a moron. Why would anyone want to watch hockey in place where they would never see ice outside ever in their lifetime? Some team should just be eliminated because there are way too many to begin with. Basically the Southeast and Pacific divisions both should be dissolved. Although some teams should be moved back to their original homes for instance move the Carolina Hurricanes back to Hartford where people actually play hockey.

3. Shorten the Season and Playoffs – Even places where there are not any beaches don’t want to see hockey in June, or May for that matter. Shorten the season by about 20 games and go with a best of 5-5-7 system for the playoffs. That should shave a month and a half to two months off the season

4. Bring Back the Old Divisions – Back in 93, the NHL decided to change the unique named divisions and conferences to bland geographically correct names. By doing this, the NHL lost some mystic and history and became like all the sports. They should really changes those back to the Norris, Smyth, Adams, Patrick Divisions and the Clarence Campbell and Prince of Wales Conferences.

5. Lower Ticket Prices – The best way to build the league up again is to make it the only sport in town where families can see professional sports without breaking the back or postpone the trip Umm, no commentto Disneyworld. Have the good seats sell for around $15 and $5 for the nosebleed and watch the fans come back in droves.

Most importantly, the NHL owners and NHLPA need to fire Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow. Both are the faces and names most associated with the 2004-5 lost season and the best PR move is just to cut ties with both men. If fact they should make it a public firing at the first game of the upcoming season and televised on ESPN. You can even make a prize out of it and let two lucky fans to the honors.