Saturday, March 24, 2012

Best of the Week - 3/24/12

Quote of the Week: Why wait? (Raylan, Justified)

Song of the Week: Silver Springs – Fleetwood Mac (as sung by George Bluth Sr., Bent)

Scene of the Week:

Big News of the Week: Tim Tebow Heading to New York: As a Cleveland Browns, I was a bit worried with all the talking head claiming the Browns must upgrade at the quarterback position even though I was content with Colt McCoy and though the team should upgrade around him, making Colt better in the process. Serious, his number one receiver last year was a kick returner. I do not like mobile quarterbacks like Robert Griffin III because they have a short shelf life, and free agents like Kevin Kolb and Matt Flynn were not going to do much better than McCoy and I did not want to overpay for the same production we already had. A week after free agency started and all the high profile names were out of the pictures and I let out a sigh of relief. Then Peyton Manning landed in Denver.

Naturally all the talking head pointed to Cleveland as a potential landing spot for Tim Tebow which made more worried than the previous possible because Tim is the single worst starting quarterback ever in the history of the National Football League. Sure he made me believe me in God again because not only was he the worst, he also was the luckiest playing teams after major upheaval, the Bears a week after Jay Cutler got hurt, the first game back for Carson Palmer after sitting on the couch the last year and a half. They were even to win a playoff game because the Steelers best defensive players couldn’t even set foot in Denver because a medical issue could have killed him because of the thin air.

Thankfully the Jets quickly traded for Tebow, not just because he would not be playing for Cleveland, but Tebow’s presence in New York could possibly cause the city, or very least the team, to self combust. Seriously, is it too late to get a Tebow / Rex Ryan reality show on this fall? Sure I may have some karma coming back to be for badmouthing Tim Tebow (as Pat Robertson humorously suggest will happen to Peyton Manning for daring to step into Tebow’s shoes) but to see Tebow singlehandedly bring down NYC can only be summed up by the Jet’s own Bart Scott: “can’t wait!”

Preview Picture of the Week:

Make it or Break It returning Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Blood for Poppies – Garbage (; e-mail required)

Deal of the Week: $3.99 Albums: Amazon has secretly released another batch of albums for only $3.99 including ones from The Throne, Florence + the Machine, Snoop Doggy Dogg, and Maroon 5. Grab them quick because the sale may npt last long.

New Album Release of the Week: Covered - Macy Gray

New DVD Release of the Week: South Park: The Complete Fifteenth Season

Video of the Week: All the pretentious Man Men fans like to whine how it’s been about five hundred days since the last new episode. Screw you hippies. It has been 1,677 days since R. Kelly released the last chapter of Trapped In the Closet. Well the wait is almost over because IFC recently announced that new episodes are “coming soon.” No word on when exactly or how many new chapters will be released this time, but Kels stated last year that he has already written thirty-two chapters. Can’t wait.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Mad Men, Sunday at 9:00 on AMC: After all the hype, I finally got around to watching Mad Men a couple years ago and was bored to tears. Unfortunately I already owned season three before I even started on the first season, so I went ahead and forced myself through the second which also did not do much for me aside from cure my insomnia (and make me want to drink and smoke and work; two things I rarely even do at home). The third season got better and had a season finale that I really enjoyed and for the first time I really wanted to see where the show would go with the new agency. And the fourth did not disappoint the promise mostly because of Don Draper’s secretaries, the first who hilariously had a mental breakdown that Don chose to ignore and then was replace by Mrs. Blankenship who was straight out of a sixties work sitcom. As I write this, I still have three episodes I need to get through to be caught up by the fifth season premiere, and even though I doubt I will ever enjoy it like all the annoying pretentious people who claim Mad Men is the best thing on television (seriously, do they just not watch Justified or refuse to think a show about rednecks could be any good?), but I am for the first time actually looking forward to the show.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Around the Tubes - 3/23/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Girls, Veep, Leave it to Niecy, Game of Thrones, Full Metal Jousting, Saturday Night Live, Mad Men, and more summer premiere dates.

- HBO has recently released new posters for two of their upcoming new shows, Veep starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Judd Apatow produced Girls. Take a gander of both below:

Girls coming HBO soon Veep coming to HBO soon

- For more on Veep, check out this week’s New Yorker for a piece on the show.

- Do not ask me what a docu-sitcom is, but Reno 911 star Niecy Nash will be starring in just that when her new show Leave it to Niecy premieres Sunday at 10:00 on TLC where she is on a mission to make her family eat healthier. Take a look below:

Just Robbed a Farmer

- Fans of Game of Thrones will want to head to its Facebook page where Fans can watch videos on each of the 5 Houses of Westeros, and then pledge their allegiance to one of them. Those who pledge to the House with the winning votes, will be eligible for a sweepstakes.

- While on the Full Metal Jousting Facebook page, you can enter a sweepstakes to win a suit of armor from the show.

- April Saturday Night Live hosts have been announced and Sofia Vergara will host April 7 with musical guest One Direction. Then on April 14 the combo of Josh Brolin and Gotye will hit the stage.

- Last week I listed a bunch of summer premiere dates, and here are a couple more for you to mark on your calendars accordingly:

Thursday, May 24 at 10:00 on TBS: New sitcom Men at Work starring Danny Masterson, Michael Cassidy, Adam Busch, and James Lesure
Tuesday, June 5 at 8:00: The third season premiere of Pretty Little Liars
Tuesday, June 5 at 9:00: The continuation of the freshman season of Jane by Design
Monday June 11 at 9:00 on ABC Family: New show Bunheads about a Vegas showgirl turned small town dance instructor
Wednesday, June 20 at 8:30 on ABC Family: New show Baby Daddy about a new single father
Wednesday, July 11 at 9:00 on ABC Family: New realty series Beverly Hills Nannies which should be self explanatory
Thursday, July 19 at 10:00 on TBS: New sitcom Sullivan and Son produced by Vince Vaughn and Peter Billingsley (you know, the kid from A Christmas Story)

- Mad Men returns this weekend and HellaWella examines how attitudes towards key issues have changed since the 50’s and 60’s.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I Want My Music Television - 3/22/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Good Girl - Carrie Underwood

Yeah, Carrie Underwood definitely needs to wear glasses more often.

Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine

Just when you think Florence + the Machine cannot get anymore epic, here comes their latest video. Though it is hard to see two people at an ice skating rink without thinking of Happy Gilmore, you know, if Claire Dunfey excreted some weird dirty water from her forehead.

Tonight (Best You Ever Had) - John Legend

I have not added a song to my Baby Making playlist in a while because of the sad state of RnB the past decade, but the new John Legend song may have to go into heavy rotation, if only if there is a non-Ludacris version of the song because he is a bit of a mood killer.

Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey

After the universal hate, you would think Lana Del Rey would go into hiding with Salman Rushdie and Bartman, but Lana del Rey is back with a mini tour and a new video that looks like something Herb Ritts would have directed in the nineties but with a random alligator thrown in foe no reason at all.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I Know Things Can Really Get Rough When You Go it Alone

Port of Morrow - The Shins

Nothing ever lives up to expectations after being overhyped. After a bunch of Emmy’s and every critic raving over it like it was written by Jesus itself, I decided to give Mad Men a chance and was bored to death. Nothing happened, Don Draper is a humongous douchebag, and the acting from Betty Draper and Pete Campbell are so horrible is surprising that they are not currently employed by The CW. Could I have liked Mad Men more if people had not over sold it before I watched it? Possibly, the further I got away from the hype, the more I have enjoyed the show.

Possibly the worst case of overhyping came courtesy of Natalie Portman eight years ago when she proclaimed to the world that The Shins would change your life. Naturally you just had to give Caring Is Creepy a listen and there was no way not to be let down no matter how much you liked it. It had a nice wall of sound and encapsulated the indie movement about to pop, but in no way life changing. It surprisingly took them three years after the release of Garden State to release their next album and essentially broke up after that when lead singer James Mercer replaced the entire band and started recording with Danger Mouse as Broken Bells.

Mercer is back with an entirely new backing band still on the name The Shins (five years since he last used the name) for his first post Danger Mouse work with new album Port of Morrow. Though he did not produced the album (that was done by Greg Kurstin of The Bird and the Bee) or play any instruments on it but Danger Mouse’s influence if felt on the album with a more consorted effort to use electronic instrumentation than in previous incarnations of The Shins. Even the title track could have fit easily on the Broken Bells album.

The added textures are felt all over the album like on the album’s lead single Simple Song which sonically anything but with a lot going on in the background. The simple motif continues during Bait and Swich whe Mercer tries to claim, “I’m just a simple man.” September almost goes the opposite route from Simple Song as an actual simple and sweet song. While Fall of '82 sounds like something out of the Steely Dan catalogue. The Shins may never change many lives, they are still putting out solid albums.

Song to Download - Fall of '82

Port of Morrow gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

You Can Join the A Team or You Can Disappear

The Pretty Little Liarslearn who A is

Pacing is a major issue with serial television these days. I am always a fan of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer route where you set up a big bad at the beginning of the season and defeat them at the end. Without a distinct goal you wander aimlessly around an island for unknown periods of time like Lost. Then there are series like The Killing that has a goal it is reach for, but as we found out in the first season finale, we have no idea when we will actually learn the killer of Rosie Larson.

Pretty Little Liars. fell into the latter category; we knew the goal for the titular characters was to figure out who the omnipresent A was. For the first three blocks of episodes, the show set a good mystery with plenty of suspects who could have been the mad texter, but the show started to lose steam as the mystery stretched out too long. Sure there was no throw the remote at the television moments like when the mystery was left unsolved on The Killing, but it was starting to get frustrated.

Then as Pretty Little Liars returned for its fourth block and we were finally promised that by the end of the season, A would be revealed which jumped started the show again as you had to pay attention to every little detail because like I said earlier, anyone could have plausibly have been A. One moment that struck me in what could have easily have been a throw away special Halloween episode, separate from the other episodes was a look at the end that former Allison tormentees (yes, I just willed that word into existence) Mona, Jenna, and Hermie the Hermaphrodite gave each other.

Mona is A, but who was she working withSo that triad went straight to the top of my list of possible A suspects (after a not so dead Allison, which was more based on my hope that is was her because it would have made for the most interesting storyline). It turned out I was thirty-three percent right on my prediction when Mona revealed herself to Spencer after a dramatic costume change. Or am I more correct than I currently know? Not only did Mona threaten Spencer that should could join the A “Team” suggesting that Mona had some help. And just in case anyone though that Mona was just referencing the awesome eighties television show (if there is The A-Team on Pretty Little Liars, is Mona the Face of the team or Hannibal?), she also hints at multiple people during her weird inner monologue in her padded room and the telling a mysterious figure she did everything she asked her to at the very end. Of course the mysterious figure just happened to be wearing a jacket similar to Vivian Darkbloom’s coat.

So now the question is who is in that red jacket and just who Mona was working with? There was the black swan that looked exactly like Melissa who was talking to my previous suspected Mona cohort Hermie the Hermaphrodite. And of course the person with the biggest vendetta against Allison, the newly sighted Jenna, who gave her own mysterious figure a package prior to the masquerade ball. Oh yeah, and we will also have a murder mystery next season when Mya showed up dead at the end of the episode. Was it the crazy lesbian swimmer? Melissa, who had a front row seat at the crime scene? Another member of the A Team? Hopefully the show learns that two season is too long before the reveal something and we get at least one answer by the end of season three which will be starting up in two short months on Tuesday, June 5 at 8:00.

Pretty Little Liars 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Monday, March 19, 2012

My Hands Are Clean

It is never a good sign when the behind the scenes drama of a show is more entertaining than what happens on screen, but the feud between The Walking Dead. creator Frank Darabount and AMC got more heated than most of the zombie battles on screen when the network decided it would rather spend more money on Mad Men, a show that got three times less the viewers of The Walking Dead. But with all the turmoil, the second season of the show got off to a great start with the zombie parking lot, a better sequence than anything in the slow moving first season. And it was all downhill from there.

In the mist of the zombie parking lot, little Sophia just had to run off into the woods, not to be seen again for two month. If it were not bad enough that we had to sit and watch characters we do not care about spend all that time searching for a kid we did not care about, all the searching was for not because she was hanging out with the other zombies in the zombie barn that became the group’s camp. Of course none of the people that fed the zombies in the zombie barn bothered to think to themselves, “hey, they are looking for a little girl, maybe the little zombie girl in our zombie barn is her.” Nope, we had to wait until Shane went off his rocker, the second of four times this season, and opened the zombie barn to find her.

To think how much worse that could have been if I actually cared about Sophia, but like the rest of the cast, I just did not care. Anyone in the cast could have been eaten by a zombie and I would be fine with it. I would have been content had Hershel went on a murdering spree post-zombie barn incident or if the dude from Terriers had gotten the best of Rick in the bar. The writers even managed to ruin the two more entertain from the first season as both Daryl and Glen got too whiny as the season progressed.

The season finale started much like the season premiere, with a horde of zombies, presumable the same ones (who, they moved slower than the plots on the show if they are just now getting to the farm). And we finally got the massive zombie fight I have been waiting for since the start of the show and the show finally delivered on something and thinned the cast some more (goodbye Hershel’s family whose named I never bothered to learn, but to the son, why did you not drive off as soon as Rick and Carl were on the roof, and how about locking the door in a zombie apocalypse?), but unfortunately Lori was not one of them. And Andrea inexplicably was able to escape hundreds of zombies to be saved by some Assassin's Creed looking person with arms zombie minions. Wait, what?

But as soon as everyone was safe and sound at the Sophie camp, the show started slowing down with the characters back to being whiny except for Rick who looks to be morphing into Shane. Great. And much like the end of season, the characters are stuck in the middle of nowhere with no plans (aside from the giant prison a mile away, seriously, they could not end the season at its doorsteps?). Even with the awesome zombie battle, The Walking Dead remains the single worst television show I have watched this season (and I made it through every episode of Pan Am.). Or at least until The Killing returns in two week. AMC: telling the slowest stories on television.

The Waling Dead 2.x gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/18/12

Once Upon a Time: Did they really rip off that unwatchable Amanda Seyfried movie for Little Red Riding Hood’s back-story? That really isn’t rhetorical because I have pretty much blocked the entire movie out of my mind except the sight of Amanda in the Red costume. But I vaguely remembering that they wanted you to think that it was her boyfriend, but it turned out being her family that is cursed.

I was a bit surprised that the wolf did not turn out to be the Doctor. When he showed up early in the episode I figured it would turn out to be him. But I am really getting sick of this Katherine search plot. Just show us that the Evil Queen has her locked up in the dungeon with Belle soon and get it over with.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: It looks like Lip’s nursery is going to be bigger in a couple months. But I wonder if he will get Ian to pretend to be the father for him?

The Walking Dead: You know all those annoying videos that seem to pop up every month or so that shows every time in movies where things happen over again and again like how no one has cell service or characters that tell you what doesn’t kill you make you stronger? I wonder how long until the “Smashing Your Own Face to Set Someone Up” will get made. Just this season we have seen Shane do it and the Rent Boy on Revenge (and I just finished up the first season of Boardwalk Empire which also saw someone do it back in the prohibition days). I guess it is to show us that the character is unhinged; because they could Shane could have easily said he escaped and saved the broken nose. But I did like the zombie Woodstock shot that ended the episode.
You can stream recent episodes over at You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have had a long standing belief that A is Alison back from the dead, the problem is that there has not been a hint of the supernatural elsewhere on the show until the creepy doll kid. Except he turned out to be a plant by A. Oh well, one week and we will no for sure. And could we finally be done with the Aria / Ezra creepfest? The storyline has been so painfully to watch, it has felt like a lifetime sitting thought it. But I have a feeling this is a fake out because the writers have always treated them as some grand love story, and not the statutory rape that it is, so I would not be at all surprised if he gets a job in the town over. Over even worse Ella somehow gets Ezra his job back.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Did I really see Christina Aguilera and Lionel Richie give advice to some on how to sing a Nirvana song? But anyway, it was not a very good week for people high on my Post-Blind Audition Power Ranking. Gone are Jamie Lono (#4), Whitney Myers (#5), Lex Land (#8), and Geoff McBride (#10). Thankfully Lindsey Pavao (#3) staved off elimination but did so by bumping off Lee Koch (#20). After watching all my favorite gone down, it was when the four chair turning Whitney got shown the door I came up with an idea that going into the live show, each coach should be able to poach someone another coach sent home in the Battle Rounds. Or even better, have the viewing public vote on their six favorite eliminated contestants and introduce a fifth judge and see if they can defeat the original four.

It also became obvious that the coaches are giving songs that give one singer a clear advantage. Ever song selection this week clearly gave an advantage to the person who eventually won. Granted this may just be an anomaly because last week the pairings seemed more down the line with the exception of Ironic. Also my theory that your adviser can also give you an advantage went out the window when Geoff still lost despite getting to spend time with Lionel Richie (granted he should have won).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The River: I am surprised the Spanish chick who knows everything did not take heed from the dog because certainly the dog knows something the humans do not. I do not know if it was the zombies on the ship or it is something else coming later, but I would have totally followed the dog.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Limehouse said last episode he likes to back the winner so I wonder how long until he swings over Boyd because his candidate looked much better in the debate than the one with the planted moderator (if I were Quarles, I’d want my money back). The bomb scene was just another classic Justified moment in a long line of great Justified moments.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Wow, both tribes almost split right down the middle with alliances staying together on both tribes. And now Colton is stuck with all the misfits and unfortunately quickly voted out the only one that seems to have the mental capacity to vote him out so it looks like we are stuck with him until at least the merge. This then begs the question with the buff guys on the other tribe rejoining the boys at the merge or stick with the girls? All I know is Survivor really needs to recruit more players with Tarzan’s name recognize affection (something I also have but never knew there was a name for).
You can stream recent episodes over at

Survivor on iTunes

Suburgatory: So Dallas went to an all back college with Robin Givins? Excuse me while I let that sink in for a while.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Modern Family: Is it wrong that I laughed histarically at the clown funeral?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Modern Family on iTunes

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: I know there is not many brain cells among them already, but breathing in all that jet exhaust cannot be healthy. But it least it was entertaining especially when the picnics items flew high up in the air or Camilla falling down. And it is pretty amazing to learn this was the very first time Mark was in an elimination round.
You can stream recent episodes over at You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Community: Oh, Annie’s Boobs, how have I missed you.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: I know I do not watch many cop shows, but from the very few that I have seen in my lifetime, I have upon the realization that ever former partner is dirty.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.