Saturday, October 15, 2011

Lyrics Quiz: Food

Today is Blog Action Day and this year’s theme is food and I thought I would dedicate this month’s Lyrics Quiz to the subject. Although it was a bit harder than I thought as there are not too many songs about food outside of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s catalogue and of the few that are, about ninty percent of them are not so thinly veiled euphemisms for sex so I have also included some bands named after food. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. Then my heart hit a problem in the early hours so I stopped it dead for a beat or two. But I cut some cord and I shouldn’t have done it, and it won’t forgive me after all these years. (Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall; guessed by Angie)
2. We bought some wine and some paper cups near your daughter’s school and we picked her up and drove to a cemetery on a hill.
3. I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes. Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies. You never know just how you look through other people’s eyes.

4. I don’t mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadence. But I can’t feed on the powerless when my cup’s already overfilled. (Hunger Strike - Temple of the Dog; guessed by Doug)
5. I poked my finger down inside. Made a little room for an ant to hide. Nature’s candy in my hand or can or pie. (Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America; guessed by Angie)
6. Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. Them good ol’ boys were drinking whiskey and rye. (American Pie - Don MacLean; guessed by Doug)
7. I ain’t gonna wear the clothes that you’ll like. I’m fine and dandy with the me inside. One look in the mirror and I’m tickled pink. I don’t give a hoot about what you think.
8. I have never been so insulted in all my life. I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride. First you run like a fool just to be by my side and now you run like a fool, but you just run to hide and I can’t abide.

9. In touch with the ground, I’m on the hunt down after you. Smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd. (Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran; guessed by Doug)
10. So their eyes are growing hazy ‘cause they wanna turn it on. So their minds are soft and lazy, well.
11. How come you’re always such a fussy young man? Don’t want no Capt’n Crunch, don’t want no Raisin Brain. Well don’t you know that other kids are starving in Japan? (Eat It - "Weird Al" Yankovic; guessed by Angie)
12. I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you. So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? (Linger - The Cranberries; guessed by Angie)
13. All I can do is just pour some tea for two and speak my point of view. But it’s not sane. (No Rain - Blind Melon; guessed by Doug)
14. No more promise no more sorrow, no longer will I follow. Can anybody hear me, I just want to be me.
15. Realize I don’ want to be a miser. Confide with Sly you’ll be the wiser. Young blood is the lovin’ upriser. (Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers; guessed by Doug)
16. Tell me something; tell me something that I don’t already know.
17. I know that a man ain’t supposed to cry, but these tears I can't hold inside. Losing you would end my life you see, ‘cause you mean that much to me. (I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Marvin Gaye; guessed by Angie)
18. I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes. Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. (Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett; guessed by Angie)
19. And homegrown and down-home, that makes one. Cooking up that old time, long lost recipe for me.
20. You got the peaches, I got the cream. Sweet to taste, saccharine. (Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard; guesse by Doug)
21. I’m so addicted to the loving that you’re feeding to me. Can’t do without it this feeling’s got me weak in the knees. Body's in withdrawal every time you take it away. (Candy - Mandy Moore; guessed by Angie)
22. I scream, you scream we all scream for her. Don’t even try ‘cause you can’t ignore her. (Cherry Pie - Warrant; guessed by Angie)
23. A million poppies gonna make me sleep. Just one rose that knows your name. The fruit is rustling on the vine. The fruit is calling from the trees. (Low - Cracker; guessed by Doug)
24. This is the straw, final straw in the roof of my mouth as I lie to you. Just because I’m sorry doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it at the time.
25. The fellas wanna have a barbeque tonight, I think it’s on about five. They say it’s gonna have plenty Daisy Dukes, and Les says it’s gonna be live. (Getto Jam - Domino; guessed by Doug)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Best of the Week - 10/14/11

Quote of the Week: This is the third Teenage Dream in forty-five minutes; why don’t I just close my nuts in the cashier’s door? (Garrett Morris – 2 Broke Girls)

Song of the Week: Torn – Natalie Imbruglia (as sung by Penny and her mom, Happy Endings)

Scene of the Week:

Big News of the Week: Hank Williams Jr. Is a Moron and So Is Anyone Who Tries to Despiser His Ramblings: Last week Fox and Friends had country singer Hank Williams, Jr. to talk politics because apparently Dick Cheney was unavailable. Like most people in America, Hank is fed up with our political parties and said about Obama’s golf game with Speaker of the House Boehner was, “Come on! It would be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu!” Naturally this made the talking head head’s explode thinking he compared Obama and Hitler. But really, trying to make sense of what Williams was trying to say only makes you dumber than he is. And to say Williams compared Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler would be like saying he compared John Boehner to Benjamin Netanyahu, which no one is saying but is just as absurd. Now if you excuse, I am going to go watch Fox and Friends because they are going to interview the dude from Wham not named George Michael about the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Free Download of the Week: Ole´ – Pearl Jam (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Up to 55% Off Hit Movies and TV on Blu-ray (Earnest Scared Straight, Ghostbusters, Dawn of the Dead)

New Album Release of the Week: Beyond the Sun (2CD) - Chris Isaak

New DVD Release of the Week: Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest

Video of the Week: Showtime has released a new teaser for their upcoming show House of Lies and just like the last one that featured AC/DC’s Big Balls, the new one is also balls-centric.

Newton’s Cradle (ouse of Lies Spot)

Next Week Pick of the Week: The Walking Dead, Sunday at 9:00 on AMC: The first season of The Walking Dead is one of those shows that you think it is better than it really is (a staple for AMC). Sure the first season was epic with great characterizations, zombie makeup, and you really felt the sparseness and isolation of the post apocalyptic world. But looking back at the first season, it is hard not to think that the six episodes could have been crammed into just two. There are big reservations going into the second season after creator and showrunner Frank Darabont got unceremoniously canned by the network after the first episode in the new season. But for those that cannot get enough of the show, right after it airs, there will be a new series Talking Dead, a live after-show where Chris Hardwick (you know, the one from Singled Out not named Jenny McCarthy) discussing the episode with fans, actors, and producers (presumably Darabont will not be making an appearance) because why wouldn’t a serious drama steal an idea from MTV? But anyway. For more on the second season, check out the video below where Attack of the Show’s Grace Helbig visits the set of the show.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Around the Tubes - 10/13/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Sing Your Song, A Game of Honor, ANA Alliance for Family Entertainment, Aim High, The Sing-Off, and Too Fat for 40.

- Harry Belfonte is the subject of HBO’s latest documentary airing Monday at 10:00. Check out a trailer for Sing Your Song below:

- Showtime has their own documentary A Game of Honor premiering Wednesday December 21 about the vaunted Army-Navy football game. will be airing a companion ten week web series leading up to the film starting Monday. Check out a trailer below:

- Ever watch television and think to yourself, I could write something funnier than that show? Well dust off you screenplay because the ANA Alliance for Family Entertainment (who have put their support in the past behind Everybody Hates Chris and Friday Night Lights) is sponsoring a writing contest looking for a show about a modern American family. Head over to to submit your script for a chance to win $5000 and receive input from producer John Wells (ER). The deadline is October 28.

- Next Tuesday, Warner Bros. Digital Distribution will launch the first ever social series from a Hollywood studio Aim High. The series will debut on Facebook and star Friday Night Light’s Aimee Teegarden, Jackson Rathbone and Greg Germann. If you watch, you can actually see yourself and your friends integrated into select scenes throughout the series.

- Let’s forget for a second that The Sing-Off will kick off their Guilty pleasures episode with a Lionel Richie song (if you feel guilty for listening to Lionel Richie, you have some serious problems), and focus on judge Ben Folds who recruited some familiar faces, and a lot of them, to promote his new best of album The Best Imitation of Myself: A Retrospective (1991-2011).

- In stores Tuesday is Kevin Smith’s Too Fat for 40 on Blu-Ray and DVD. In addition to the original two hour special is the uncut three and a half hour Q&A session and over five hours of content.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

First Impressions: Last Man Standing

The cast of Last Man Standing

As a child of the late eighties and early nineties, naturally I was a big fan of ABC’s TGIF lineups: Full House, Family Matters, Boy Meets World, I even watched Just the Ten of Us. But at the turn of the century, the family sitcom seemed to die out or just were not funny (seriously, According to Jim ran for the entire decade). Now in a new decade, the family sitcom is making a comeback and naturally on ABC, although it is not their Friday lineup, but on Wednesdays with The Middle, Suburgatory, and Modern Family dominating in the ratings.

Oddly the comedy night is anchored by Happy Endings while new family sitcom Last Man Standing airs Tuesdays, with a similar man-themes show instead of a family block (what a great lead in for Dancing with the Has-Beens). Tuesday also happened to be the same day Tim Allen’s old show; the perennial top ten rated Home Improvement aired for almost a decade.

For Last Man Standing, instead of three boys, this time around Tim has three girls: the single mom (Alexandra Kronsey, Lost’s young Eloise Hawking), the whiny one (Molly Ephraim, Paranormal Activity 2’s adopted daughter), and the tomboy (Kaitlyn Dever, Justified’s Loretta McCready, who managed to go toe to toe acting wise with Timothy Olyphant and Margo Martindale despite only being in middle school). Patricia Richardson has been traded out for Nancy Travis (The Bill Engvall Show). Instead of a television show, this time around, Tim makes rants on the internet for his sporting goods store. No Al or Wilson equivalents, but some extra Y chromosomes are provided by Hector Elizondo (Valentine's Day) who show up as Tim’s boss and Christoph Sanders (Legally Blondes) as one of his employees who Tim accidentally set up him up with the wrong daughter.

For better or worse, Last Man Standing is basically what you would expect what Home Improvement would look like if Tim had girls instead of boys, there are plenty jokes about gender roles and how man no longer acting like men. The jokes are cheap, the situations cheesy, and the characters over the top and I laughed constantly. Last Man Standing may be a show straight out of the nineties, but I have absolutely no problem with that. Hopefully Loretta can get her buddy Raylan Gibbons to make an appearance sometime.

Last Man Standing airs Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC. You can stream the show on Hulu. You can also download Last Man Standing on iTunes.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Nobody has to Cry to Make it Seem Real

Ashes and Fire - Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams was the most prolific singer of the last decade releasing ten albums, even doing so by taking 2009 off. Actually, aside from three albums worth of leftovers, it has been three years since Adams has released new material. In that time, Ryan married Mandy Moore putting some worry that the songwriter who makes the greatest extremely depressing songs in modern times may become too happy.

For those drawn to Adam’s music by his sad sap side, despite his newlywed status, his new album Ashes and Fire may not hit the lowest lows as albums like Cold Roses or 29 do, but the new album is filled with plenty of sad songs to help mend your broken heart (or break it in more pieces depending what you expect to get out of listing to sad songs). And if these types of songs are your favorites, skip straight to Save Me which will have your forgiving him for making you wait three years for his latest batch of depressingly sad songs. And sure the marriage may have given him a more positive outlook on life, I Love You but I Don’t Know What to Say manages to be heartbreaking and beautifully uplifting at the same time.

The other big change in-between record was Ryan broke with frequent collaborators The Cardinals who played on four of his last five albums. Without his backing band on the album, Ashes and Fire maybe his most sparse album yet with most songs featuring Ryan on guitar, some drums and the occasional piano courtesy of Norah Jones who also does some backing vocals on the album. Aside from his usual depression songs, the standout tracks are the two that open the album when Adams goes back to his alt-country roots for Dirty Rain and the title track. After such a long layoff, Ashes and Fire is a nice return and I look forward for Ryan Adams to get back to his regular recording schedule and his next album which presumably be out sometime before Christmas.

Song to Download – Ashes & Fire

Ashes and Fire gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I Want My Music Television - 10/10/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Someone Like You - ADELE

I love the sparseness of the video to go with the sparseness of the song. Though it is still at its best when you just close your eyes and listen to the voice of Adele.

Countdown – Beyoncé

Seizer alert! I do not know if Beyoncé went with a frantic video to distract from her baby bump, but it seriously hurt my head. And maybe I miss it in the middle of my convulsion, but this video was seriously missing a Boyz II Men reference (for the kiddies who do not know what I am talking about, head over to iTunes and download Uhh Ahh).

The Walk - Mayer Hawthorne

Hot chicks and guns: it as if Mayer Hawthorne made this video just for me. I am too lazy to look it up, but I am pretty sure that is the Token Hot Chick from The Event. Even though it is an obvious Mr & Mrs Smith homage, they are both such a bad shots, they might as well have been in an episode of The A-Team.

Shake it Out – Florence + The Machine

If this song is any indication, the new Florence + The Machine album should be epic, but am not really digging the Eyes Wide Shut styled video.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/9/11

Pan Am: I wonder if we ever seen the former spy again? If there were a real spy show, I’d put the over/under at Christmas, but this show seems to be taking a more realistic approach, so she may be stuck in Kansas for the rest of her life.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pan Am on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Again, the writers are just messing with us with actual characters saying they are talking way too long to get to the end of a story. That is the second time this season.
You can stream recent episodes over at You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Sing Off: Scanning the playlist prior to the show I was dreading the “current hits” but give it up to a capella music to make most of them at the very least listenable, although how does Whataya Want From Me qualify as a hit if Adam Levine had never heard it before? Naturally the second half was way more enjoyable with Urban Method pulling out the best performance of the night with Dance to the Music, a song I could have sworn only had one line and one note, but they killed it (I feel as if I should give TJ Lavin royalties for saying that). And a not to future Sing-Off contestants, unlike Kingfolk 9, do not hold your best performance for your Swan Song. Then next week on The Sing-Off, Antoine Meriwether and his boys sings a song about balls. Blaine Edwards has to show up for some commentary on that.

You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Sing-Off on iTunes.

The Lying Game: Holy Beck Sproles sighting! To think how much better the show would have been had she shown up much earlier. Hopefully she follows not-Emma around for a while. But I am beginning to wonder if Laurel’s boyfriend in part of the twin’s mystery, he was nosing around the photo book a while, and maybe Sutton and Emma are actually not twins, but actually triplets. Dude being a blonde kind of hurts this theory especially if my other theory that either the adoptive dad or the guy from Heroes is actually the biological father of the brood.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: Frozen heads and no Futurama references? Boooooo.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The Playboy Club: I have long asserted that the show was not a Mad Man rip off (despite Eddie Cibrian stealing everything from Don Draper) but American Dreams for adults. Case in point: the first guest singer on American Bandstand on the show was Leslie Gore. Not that any of this matters anymore. Although I hear that NBC is shopping the show around to other, possibly more skin friendly, networks, but I think “we’re shopping it around to other networks” is code for “please do not send us crap in hopes that we revive the show.”

Parenthood: It is not enough to make a drinking game out of, but this show really enjoys making Michael Cera references, two by my count in this episode along. “You’re like my musical soulmate” was a direct line from Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I completely forgot the Tom Arnold storyline even existed. Seems a little random to bring it up now.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: South Pacific: First off I would like to apology to Brandon for repeatedly calling him a psychopath, it was wrong of me and hopefully he forgives me as I try to become a better man. Look out for next week when I end up apologizing to Stacey for laughing at how she said she did such a great job at the challenge when she could not outlast the scrawny Dawn at a weight holding challenge.
You can stream recent episodes over at

Survivor on iTunes

Happy Endings: When I was previewing the season I mentioned that Megan Mullally shows up at some point as Penny’s mom. Well, that episode is coming up this week and will also feature one hundred percent more Natalie Imbruglia.

Revenge: I was a little disappointed that Amy Abbott waited until off screen to release the love child to the press, c’mon, make it part of his speech where the viewer can see the embarrassment.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: My favorite part of the episode was when Penny had to explain to everyone that the handicap were inherently nice people. Though I am not entirely sure why Raj could talk in front of the deaf chick, I thought the mere presence of them made him mute; the ability of not being able to hear him just seems silly. But not silly good.
You can stream recent episodes over at You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: It is a surprised with all its homages; it took them to the third season for a “noir” episode.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.