Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Twenty-Five Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever

To show you just how shocked that Ozzy and Coach were the ones brought back for this season of Survivor, after the show announced they were bringing back Redemption Island I was so convinced that the show would bring back Matt from last season (and probably Andrea with him as the two people that returned from Redemption Island) that I started working on a list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever because Matt trying to rejoin the tribe who already booted him was one of the dumbest moves ever. Instead of going with obvious selections, apparently Jeff Probst randomly pulled two names out of his hat to come up with Ozzy and Coach. Luckily neither of them are the smartest tools on the beach so here are a list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever:

Erik Reichenbach: Dumbest Survivor ever in the history of Survivor1. Erik Reichenbach (Fans vs. Favorites) - Giving up immunity his Immunity Necklace to Natalie; promptly gets voted out (please note Erik is like the Johnny Vander Meer of Survivor, this is a record that will never be broken. To do so, one would have to get voted out with an Immunity Idol in their pocket, go to Redemption Island, come back into the game and proceed to give someone the Immunity Necklace and promptly get voted out to move Erik from number one on this list).

2. Tyson Apostol (Heroes vs. Villains) - Flipping votes for absolutely no reason and prompltly getting voted out because of switching votes.

3. James Clement (China) - Getting voted out with two immunity Idols in his pocket.

4. JT Thomas (Heroes vs. Villains) – It is hard to put some who has won on this list, but dude gave his Immunity Idol to Russell which was then used to vote him out.

Tyson Apostol is a moron5. Matt Elod (Redemption Island) – Going back to his former Ometepe after returning from Redemption Islandonly to promptly getting sent right back there by them.

6. Jason Siska (Fans vs. Favorites) - Thinking a piece of driftwood was an Immunity Idol, convincing that Eliza that she should play the driftwood, then getting voted out with a real Idol in his pocket.

7. Lex Van den Burghe (All-Stars) - Saving Amber because Boston Rob asked him to, then gets voted out by Rob because he lost the numbers by keeping Amber.

8. Colbie Donaldson (The Australian Outback) – Not choosing the easy win over Keith, instead loses to Tina in the Final Tribal Council.

9. Ometepe Tribe (Redemption Island) - Letting Boston Rob win by putting up no effort, instead playing for second place.

James Clement is a moron10. Russell Hantz (Heroes vs. Villains) - Playing a type a game that guarantees he would never win enough votes at the Final Tribal Council.

11. Yau Man / Andria "Dreamz" Herd (Fiji) Yau Man stupidly gave Dreamz a truck if he promised to give him the Immunity Necklace if he won it. Dreamz reneged and was rewarded with zero votes at the Final Tribal Council.

12. Ian Rosenberger (Palau) - Quit the final three immunity challenge (after parcicipating for twelve hours) then asked to be voted out.

13. Jonathan Penner (Race Wars) – Mutinying, then getting voted out by his new tribe.

14. Saboga Tribe (All-Stars) - Building their shelter by digging a hole in the sand.

JT Thomas is a moron
15. Amanda Kimmel (Heroes vs. Villains) - Giving Danielle the Hidden Immunity Idol clue back (not to mention her poor performance in her two final Tribal Councils).

16. Zapatera Tribe (Redemption Island) - Throwing a challenge to get rid of Russell, then going on to lose three of the next four challenges going into a merge where they were outnumbered.

17. Randy Bailey (Ghana) / Jamie Dugan (China) - Playing fake Hidden Immunity Idols.

18. Burton Roberts (Pearl Islands) - Throwing a challenge then promptly gets voted off.

19. Marty Piombo (Nicaragua) - Giving Sash his Hidden Immunity Idol.

Matt Elrod is a moron20. Sean Kenniff (Borneo) – Using an Alphabetical voting system which his competitors used against him.

21. Clay Jordan (Thailand) - Berating jury members at his Final Tribal Council, a vote he could have won.

22. Brendan Synnott (Tocantins) - Announcing he has an immunity idol, does not play it, gets voted out.

23. Jolanda Jones (Palau) - Picking the only tribe to never win an Immunity Challenge and being first voted out by her tribe.

24. Rafe Judkins (Guatemala) - Releasing Danni from their promise of taking each other to the Final Tribal Council, gets voted out by her.

25. Lillian Morris (Pearl Island) – Choosing to take Sandra to the Final Tribal Council over the despicable Johnny Fairplay.

Survivor: South Pacific premieres tonight at 8:00 on CBS with an expanded ninety minute episode. As for a preseason pick, I’ll go with Sophia Clarke but will be rooting for Rick Nelson, father of the twins in Nelson, because he has gown the most awesome mustache since coming back to life.

1 comment:

  1. I'd imagine there are just too many to list. Stacy, Dreamz, Cassandra (Panama)made some seriously retarded moves BEFORE Dreamz burned Yau. 3 times, they had the chance to get rid of Yau and Cassandra and Stacy flaked out the first two by not voting for him and the last chance they had, when they were all finally on board they blew it. Cassandra was stupid (twice)for sucking up to Earl and not going with Dreamz to vote Yau out. When she finally wrote his name down it was too late, because Dreamz is too stupid to keep his mouth shut and then the biggest moron of all, was Stacy because she let on that the votes may not be what everyone is expecting. As soon as she hinted that someone would be shocked and the votes would be split- THAT is what made Yau play his idol. Before that, he was going to be leaving with it.