Monday, August 31, 2009

First Impressions: Tool Academy 2

The Tools of Tool Academy 2

When a reality show has an absurdly entertaining first season like Tool Academy did, there are really only two routes it can take. One can hope that it ends up like Survivor, a decent concept that along with the right casting can still be watchable nineteen seasons later. Then there are the reality shows that end up like Beauty and the Geek, a great concept, but one the cat is out of the bag, not even great casting can salvage subsequent season from being as great.

After the first season ended I was pretty sure Tool Academy would take the Beauty and Geek route, but after the first episode it is clear that there are plenty of tools that are stupid enough to think they have been chosen to compete to be a party king to be entertaining for years to come. Personally I would have been tipped off by the Her energy drink sponsorship which I was shocked to turn out to be an actually drink.

They even found some new kinds of Tools including the Old Tool, Tat-Tool, Hillbilly Tool, and my personal favorite “Special” Tool (their quotation marks, not mine) who may also win this season’s hottest girlfriend contest in Shannon. Although there are Guy-liner Tool, Manscaping Tool, and Spray Tan Tool which basically all of them are all already. And, well, they are all tatted up too, but Tat-Tool still overdoes it more than the rest. But there is still a high probability that this cast gets the Tool Academy logo tattooed at some point this season like the previous cast.

With a show like Tool Academy, it is hard to predict a winner because their rules for elimination seems to change from episode to episode, but I will be rooting for Ohio’s own Dre P., the B-Ball Wannabe Tool to win, who may have had the best line of the night, “Leah was so pissed to the highest pissisity.” Although the Giant Tool blaming his behavior on a “Schick coma” maybe the greatest excuse ever in the history of excuses.

The first challenge may have been better than any of the inaugural season where they had to bail water from a sinking ship. But it was amazing that of the twelve Tools competing; only one of them had the brain power to think, hey maybe I should stick a finger and/or toe in this hole. Then we had an elimination show expositive, the host flipped his lid and just started yelling at the Tool to leave. Luckily this wasn’t the Guy-liner Tool because he almost came to tears and that would have not been pretty.

If there was one complaint of the first season of Tool Academy it would be there were just too many chicks who took their Tools back after being eliminated. And much like last season, the first to go was taken back by his girl despite his huge hissy fit he threw. And not to mention she was already slumming with the guy who was way out of her league. But considering the preview for next week that promises a shocking ending that may finally change this season. Of course in true VH1 fashion, they ended up giving away that shocking ending two seconds later. I really need to stop watching VH1 promos.

Muck like last season, all these guys are definitely Tools, but not all the girls are squeaky clean again like last season which begs the question, when will we get a female version of the show? The biggest obstacle most likely is a name because not of the female equivalent of Tool are really television appropriate. But how about B-Girl Academy? And if you don't know what “B” means, let us explain: “B” stands for Broncos, Benzes, BMWs, bass, bangles, and a pair of bars. We see you pulling up down the alley; you all act like we are stars. We're not trying to make a joke, we’re just trying to make it known that people in the world that we call B-Girls like bars on a Cadillac Brougham.

Tool Academy airs Sundays at 9:00. You can stream current episode on You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes. Tool Academy ranked in at 36 on The 100 Greatest Television Shows of the 00’s.


  1. Tool Academy season three is casting right now. They just updated the website.

  2. Thanks for the hears up. From the website it looks at they are at the very least entertaining the thought of including female Tools. They should give them theirn own show though, not intergrate them with the boy Tools.

  3. i just wanted to say thank you very very much for saying that i may win this seasons hottest girlfriend contest...i never saw that coming and that is a huge compliment to me! thanks again! :)

  4. If you're going to make a blog-career out of being scathing/entertaining, you might want to use spell-check and proof-read before you post.

  5. Seriously, did you even read this? It is in no way scathing and what exactly is misspelled? I ran it through a spell-check again (which I did before I posted it) and it still tells me nothing is wrong except for the ones that are not real words. Of course if you would like to me my editor, feel free to e-mail me your resume.