Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Big Head Barry and the Monsters

It seems that after his knee surgery that Barry Bonds may miss half the season if not all. Here's an idea Barry, retire. The only person I'd like to see out of baseball quicker that Barry Bonds is Bud Selig. But apparently Bonds is currently stressed. Stressed about what? He gets paid millions to play a kids game. He has financial security for the rest of his life and probably for the rest of his kid's life. A brain surgeon has stress over his job. A policeman has stress over his job. The coal miner who has to drop a month's salary to see Barry play has stress. And who does Barry say is the cause of his stress? The media is. I'm sorry, did the media put a syringe in his butt (allegedly)? Did the media set up a date with a woman who wasn't his wife (allegedly)? Did the media help set up a tax shelter (allegedly)? So he cheats on baseball, his wife, and his taxes (allegedly). I would hate to play cards with this guy. As a wise man once said Barry, "Girl don't go away mad. Girl just go away."

On another baseball story, I received my copy of Newsweek today and on the cover it poised the question, "No 'Hall' for McGwire?" I haven't had a chance to read the article yet, but the quick answer is no. "Shoeless" Joe Jackson is still kept out of the Hall for cheating for one game. With steroids or other growth hormones in his system, how many games did he cheat? It might be easier to count the seasons cheated. And don't want to hear the, "But steroids were not a banned by the MLB back then" excuse. Steroids were illegal substance according to the U.S. government and anyone who used them back them should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Not too mention McGwire best asset was his power. He rarely hit for average nor did he make a regular appearance on Web Gems. So when your only asset is proven to be aided by a chemical substance then no Hall for you. With any luck, whoever replaces Bud (hopefully sooner rather later) will do the right thing and ban everyone who is a proven steroid or human growth hormone user and strike (no asterisks) any necessary record or MVP award.

Moving on to basketball, Paul Silas recently got the axe by Cleveland. The Cavs' may have pulled the trigger a little early on this one. He should be praise for having this team in playoff contention. After LeBron, the Cavs don't have much to talk about. They even have some dude named
Ira Newble starting. Read that last sentence again and tell me that Silas is to fault. Seriously, Ira Newble. What I don't understand about Silas is how everyone brought up how much a stand up guy he is. Yet this season alone he has blow up with Eric Snow (a stand up guy in his own right) and recently Silas called Carlos Boozer a four letter word that starts with C (Umm, cute? Coco maybe? Chap? Mmm, I give up). Come to think about it, I can think of some one the Cavs can talk about not named LeBron, Usher. I have been racking my brains for a month trying to figure out how this guy can buy a basketball team. This is a guy who floated around in relative obscurity putting out albums that only morbidly obese chicks listen to. (Usher’s fans are like the anti-Dave Matthews Band fan. Seriously has anyone seen an unattractive girl who listens to DMB?) Then last year when he inexplicitly sold one million copies in one week. Then all the sudden he has enough money to buy a basket ball team? At least Jay-Z has a string of hit albums and a successful record label before he bought a piece of the Nets. Only in Cleveland can we go from a blind owner to a pop star. Here's to another 50 years without a major championship. [In a Lil' Jon growl] Yeah!

1 comment:

  1. If Barry is so tired, couldn't he just retire and go away? I am so sick of hearing about everything that Barry Bonds does. I swear that SportsCenter devotes at least ten minutes a day to--what did Barry have for lunch? Did he have the Chinese food buffet with the MSG? How does this affect his perception and will he break the home run record?

    Please make it stop!