Sunday, November 30, 2008

25 Days of Christmas 2008 Schedule


As a wide man once told me, this is the most wonderful time of the year. And you can see it in all the Christmas traditions. Let’s face it, Christmas songs and movies are not the best written things ever, but yet each December we enjoy them both with a smile on our faces and not pick them apart like we do non-holiday themed entertainment the rest of the year. I know I will be cozying up next to the fire more than one night with ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas. Here are the new features this year as well as the full schedule:

A Miser Brothers' Chrismas (Saturday December 13 at 8:00) - Starring Mickey Rooney, reprising his role as Santa Claus from the holiday classic The Year Without a Santa Claus, ABC Family’s new original special A Miser Brothers’ Christmas tells the story of how Santa throws out his back, potentially spoiling Christmas for boys and girls all over the world. The story begins when Santa’s new chief mechanic, Tinsel, creates a speedy, new high tech sleigh for Christmas. But what Santa doesn’t know is that North Wind has secretly sabotaged the sleigh in the hope of taking Santa’s place that year. When Santa takes it out for a spin, he gets caught in the crossfire between the feuding Snow Miser and Heat Miser Brothers and the sleigh crashes, causing Santa to hurt his back. North Wind frames the Miser Brothers for Santa’s accident, and with Santa stuck in bed, everything falls into place for North Wind to slyly come to the rescue. But much to his chagrin, Mother Nature punishes the Miser Brothers by forcing them to put their differences aside and fill in for Santa. Encores: 12/19 at 7:00, 12/21 at 12:00, 12/24 at 7:00.

A Miser Brothers' Christmas


Snow 2: Brain Freeze (Sunday December 14 at 8:00) - Tom Cavanagh reprises his role as Nick Snowden, aka "Santa," in Snow 2: Brain Freeze. Nick is preparing for his biggest day of the year - Christmas! In the rush of getting his reindeer ready, he jumps through his magic mirror and hits his head upon landing, causing Nick to lose his memory and forget who he is! With just days before Christmas, his wife Sandy (Ashley Williams), is desperate to find her husband and enlists the help of her old boyfriend Buck (Patrick Fabian), who pretends to help but has no true intention of reuniting them. With the help of some new friends, Nick’s memory starts to trickle back, but will he remember that he is Santa in time for Christmas? Encores: 12/14 at 10:00, 12/17 at 9:00, 12/20 at 1:00.

Snow 2 Brain Freeze with Tom Cavanaugh and Ashley Williams


Christmas in Wonderland (Saturday December 20 at 8:00) - With a recent move and tough financial times, the Saunders family is facing a bleak Christmas. With the kids moping around home, Wayne Saunders (Patrick Swayze) decides to try and make the best out of the holiday by taking the family to the mall to get much needed Christmas decorations and presents. But when the two youngest kids come across a bag full of money, they believe that their Christmas just got a whole lot brighter. Unfortunately for them, the bag belongs to two bumbling crooks in the middle of a counterfeit heist and if they don’t get it back, their boss (Carmen Electra) will have their heads. The movie also stars Chris Kattan and Tim Curry. Encore: 12/20 at 10:00, 12/24 at 11:00 AM.

Christmas in Wonderland


Monday, December 1
7:00 - DR. SEUSS ON THE LOOSE
7:30 – DR. SEUSS' THE HOOBER-BLOOB HIGHWAY – ABC Family Premiere
8:00 – DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (Live Action)
10:30 - DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (Live Action)

Tuesday, December 2
6:00 – THE POLAR EXPRESS
8:30 – THE POLAR EXPRESS

Wednesday, December 3
6:00 – CARS – Basic Cable Premiere
8:30 – CARS

Thursday, December 4
6:00 – CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY - Johnny Depp version
8:30 – CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY – Johnny Depp version

Friday, December 5
7:00 – FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND
7:30 - HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE

Saturday, December 6
7:30 AM – CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY
9:30 AM – HOME ALONE 3
11:30 AM – HOME ALONE 4: TAKING BACK THE HOUSE
1:30 – HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE
5:00 – HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
9:00 PM – HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Sunday, December 7
8:30 AM - ELOISE AT CHRISTMASTIME
10:30 AM – RICHIE RICH’S CHRISTMAS WISH
12:30 – HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
4:30 – HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
7:30 – HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

Monday, December 8
7:00 – 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
7:30 – CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS – ABC Family Premiere
8:00 – JINGLE ALL THE WAY

Tuesday, December 9
7:00 – A GARFIELD CHRISTMAS – Basic Cable Premiere
7:30 – DR. SEUSS’ THE CAT IN THE HAT
8:00 – DENNIS THE MENACE CHRISTMAS

Wednesday, December 10
7:00 – MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL– ABC Family Premiere
7:30 – WINNIE THE POOH AND CHRISTMAS TOO – ABC Family Premiere
8:00 – SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
9:00 – RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR
10:00 – JACK FROST

Thursday, December 11
7:00 – RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR
8:00 – THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS
9:00 – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer & The Island of Misfit Toys
10:30 – 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Friday, December 12
6:00 – THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE – Basic Cable Premiere
9:30 – THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE

Saturday, December 13
7:00 AM – FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND
7:30 AM – THE LEPRECHAUNS’ CHRISTMAS GOLD
8:00 AM – THE LIFE & ADVENTURES OF SANTA CLAUS
9:00 AM – THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY
9:30 AM – THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY BOOK II
10:00 AM – PINOCCHIO’S CHRISTMAS
11:00 AM – THE STORY OF THE FIRST CHRISTMAS SNOW
11:30 AM – NESTOR, THE LONG-EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY
12:00 – A GARFIELD CHRISTMAS
12:30 – A CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS
1:00 – JACK FROST
2:00 – RUDOLPH & FROSTY’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY
4:00 – 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
4:30 – FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND
5:00 – RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR
6:00 – SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
7:00 – THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS
8:00 – A MISER BROTHERS’ CHRISTMAS – ABC Family Original Special Premiere
9:00 PM – THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE

Sunday, December 14
7:00 AM – JACK FROST
8:00 AM – SONS OF MISTLETOE
10:00 AM – A CAROL CHRISTMAS
12:00 – SNOWGLOBE
2:00 – SANTA BABY
4:00 – HOLIDAY IN HANDCUFFS
6:00 – SNOW
8:00 – SNOW 2 BRAIN FREEZE – ABC Family Original Movie Premiere
10:00 PM – SNOW 2 BRAIN FREEZE

Monday, December 15

7:00 – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer & The Island of Misfit Toys
8:30 – CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Tuesday, December 16
7:00 – MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL
7:30 – WINNIE THE POOH AND CHRISTMAS TOO
8:00 – MARY POPPINS

Wednesday, December 17
7:00 – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
9:00 – 11:00 PM ET/PT) SNOW 2 BRAIN FREEZE

Thursday, December 18
7:00 – DR. SEUSS’ THE CAT IN THE HAT
7:30 – DR SEUSS’ THE LORAX
8:00 – DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
10:30 – DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

Friday, December 19
7:00 – A MISER BROTHERS’ CHRISTMAS
8:00 – SANTA CLAUSE 2
10:00 – SANTA CLAUSE 2

Saturday, December 20
7:00 AM – ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
9:00 AM – A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS
11:00 AM – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
1:00 – SNOW 2 BRAIN FREEZE
3:00 – JINGLE ALL THE WAY
5:00 – THE FAMILY MAN
8:00 – CHRISTMAS IN WONDERLAND – ABC Family Original Movie Premiere
10:00 PM – CHRISTMAS IN WONDERLAND

Sunday, December 21
7:00 AM – 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
7:30 AM – RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR
8:30 AM – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer & The Island of Misfit Toys
10:00 AM – SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
11:00 AM – THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS
12:00 – A MISER BROTHERS’ CHRISTMAS
1:00 – THE INCREDIBLES
3:30 – CARS
6:00 – THE INCREDIBLES
8:30 – CARS

Monday, December 22
6:00 – THE POLAR EXPRESS
8:30 – THE POLAR EXPRESS

Tuesday, December 23
6:00 – WHITE CHRISTMAS
9:00 PM – WHITE CHRISTMAS

Wednesday, December 24
11:00 AM – CHRISTMAS IN WONDERLAND
1:00 – RUDOLPH & FROSTY’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY
3:00 – FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND
3:30 – 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
4:00 – RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR
5:00 – SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
6:00 – THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS
7:00 – A MISER BROTHERS’ CHRISTMAS
8:00 – DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
10:30 – DR. SEUSS’ THE CAT IN THE HAT

Thursday , December 25 (CHRISTMAS)
12:00 – WHITE CHRISTMAS
3:00 – THE FAMILY MAN
6:00 – THE INCREDIBLES
8:30 – CARS

Saturday, November 29, 2008

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LVII


Quote of the Week: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie: If you move one thing a boulder starts (expletive deleted) at you. (Martin Mull, Gary Unmarried)

Big News of the Week: Tim Kring Thinks I’m a Dip(expletive deleted): And a happy Thanksgiving to Tim Kring too. For those who missed the guy behind Heroes and his full quote, this is what he said about serialized television, of which is show is:

[Serialized storytelling is] a very flawed way of telling stories on network television right now, because of the advent of the DVR and online streaming. The engine that drove [serialized TV] was you had to be in front of the TV [when it aired]. Now you can watch it when you want, where you want, how you want to watch it, and almost all of those ways are superior to watching it on air. So [watching it] on air is related to the saps and the dip(expletive deleted) who can’t figure out how to watch it in a superior way.

Of course Kring is responding to why his show’s viewership has been cut by more than half. And the reason behind that is because the storylines are lame and regurgitated, the acting is unwatchable, and the characters are just not likeable. It is not because online streaming and DVR. And his basis thesis is majorly flawed. How exactly are those methods so superior that those of us watching live are dip(expletive deleted)s? How is watching things online superior to anything? Unless your monitor is bigger than your television and you have couch you can lay down on that just makes no sense to me. But of course I’m a dip(expletive deleted).

What is worse is Kring totally alienated his core audience. Having people watch like is something you want to shoot for because that means people can’t wait to see a new episode. Watercooler shows are not being DVR’ed because people don’t want to be left out of the discussion the next day. But then again, what do I know, I’m a dip(expletive deleted) that is not even pretentious enough to have a DVR. And with that I am done with Heroes, thanks Tim Kring for giving me a reason to finally cut the cord. Now please kill of Kristen Bell so she can find work on a real show.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:

Yvonne Strahovski in Orange


The Big Bang Theory: I never thought I would say this, but Sheldon became too much this week. This is mostly attributed to his knocking fixation which they have done about five too many times know, even if Penny opening the door earlier gag, disrupting Sheldon’s rhythm was still funny. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Chuck: A week later and I am still trying to decide what was funnier, Big Mike saving Casey or Chuck in the spinning thing. But one thing that bugged me though is why didn’t Casey and Sarah bring Jill in right away because they should have known that she knew that they knew she was a spy. Although I’m not sure that just made much sense to me. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: When did How I Met Your Mother get so consistent again? Dare I say since Stella got the boot? But as funny as it was I don’t think I will be trying out the Nake Man anytime soon
You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Pushing Daisies: I would like to think that Pushing Daisies would be above doing an Anna Nicole Smith episode, but sadly I was round. That is one ba-dunk-a-dunk I cannot get behind. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.

Pushing Daisies on iTunes


Gary Unmarried: I know this doesn’t say much bet this was the best episode of the year. Hopefully the parents are back for Christmas. And Easter. Might as well write them in for Flag Day too. Or just just have Martin Mull actually separate with Jane Curtain and move in with Gary for a while. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.


For those who wonder what my voice sounds like, my question got answered on not one but two different podcasts recently. If you check them out I would like to preface it by saying 1) I stand by my assertion that calling something “goofy” is not a term of endearment, 2) If you don’t get my pop culture references that is your problem not mine, and 3) like it was brought up I am a little too much like Sheldon, apparently right down to not being to properly convey sarcasm. With that said download these episodes for more me:

TV Talk with GMMR and Ducky (Podcast 31)

TV Times Three (Fall Status Report)

Free Download of the Week: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Harry Connick Jr. (iTunes): Thanksgiving is over so it is time to overdose on Christmas music to the point that I am already tire of the genre before December hits double digits. For even more free Christmas music also check out Tony Bennett who also has a holiday song for free.

Tony Bennett on iTunes


Video of the Week: Monday is the start of 25 Days of Christmas on ABC Family of which I will post the full schedule tomorrow. Until then here is a promo for the event:



Next Week Pick of the Week: Grammy Nominations Concert Live!!, Wednesday at 9:00 on CBS: For those of you like me that think three hours of performances that the Grammy’s bring us every year are in luck because this year the nominations are being announced in prime time this year with music in between from John Mayer, B.B. King, Taylor Swift, the Foo Fighters and, um, CĂ©line Dion. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, following right after on the Eye Network: Half Naked Model Hour. Hopefully CĂ©line Dion is not included there.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

2008 Holiday Schedule


To find out how to win an Amazon or iTunes gift card, keep reading.

Apple iTunes Gift Cards


Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, or as those outside the U.S. like to call it, Thursday. So I hope you have (or had depending on when you read this) a great Turkey Day. Just a heads up with the holidays upon us, here’s a look at the schedule the 9th Green will be taking the next couple weeks as well as a list of the best of 2008. There is a link on the sidebar for future reference. Feel free to dive into the archives on days that I will be taking off and on day that are not listed, they will be filled by the regular reviews and such you have come to find at the 9th Green (card subject to change):


November 27-28 - Off for Thanksgiving
November 30 - 25 Days of Christmas Schedule
December 1 - Induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame
December 15 - Lyrics Quiz: Best of 2008
December 22 - Worst Songs of 2008
December 23 - Best Albums of 2008
December 24-25 - Off for Christmas
December 26 - Best Videos of 2008
December 27 - Best Performances of 2008
December 28 - Best Mash-ups of 2008
December 29 - Scooter McGavin’s Reader’s Best Songs of 2008*
December 30 - 100 Best Songs of 2008
December 31/Januray 1 - Off for New Years
January 2 - Induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame


*As you may have noticed, on the 29th I will have a Reader’s poll on what you all thought were the best songs of the year. So if you would sometime time before Christmas, e-mail me, ScooterKSU(at)aol(dot)com, your top ten songs of the year in order. If you need a refresher of songs from the last twelve months, check out the list of the albums I reviewed for my Terror Alert Scale as all the songs from those albums are eligible, look through the music videos I highlighted the past year and of course any song released this year is okay too even if I didn’t talk about it. Your nominations will be confidential and I won’t disclose it here at the 9th Green, so if you enjoy the 9th Green please send me an e-mail by December 24.

Apple iTunes Gift CertificatesAnd as an added bonus, if you send me your list this year, you can win the top five songs of the year as determined by me. Well you can win a $5 Gift Certificate to iTunes or Amazon, which I guess you can use however you like. All you have to do to enter is e-mail me your top ten list and then tell me if you would prefer your gift card to be iTunes or Amazon. Please note, only people with American accounts can will, and lets face it, with the dollar tanking $5 is pretty worthless everywhere else, but foreigners are still welcome to voice their opinions. Winners will be contacted sometime between Christmas and New Years.


And with Christmas coming fast upon us, here are some deal that you can find over at Amazon.com:

1) Black Friday Deals: Their Black Friday page is the central point to find all our Black Friday deals, including the Gold Box hourly deals featured from midnight to 11pm PST and thousands of products that are on sale for a limited time only.
2) Amazon Customers Vote: Customers Vote is a special end-of-year promotion where you and your site visitors can vote for the deal you'd like to buy at an amazing discount. Offers posted from now until 12/4.
3) Blu-ray Deals and Discovery: Amazon and Sony are offering incredible values on high definition products such as Blu-ray players and movies, as well as PlayStation 3 consoles, games, and accessories. New deals will be debut every week through Feb. 7, 2009.
4) Save up to 60% on Over 550 DVDs and Blu-ray Discs. Offer valid from 11/17–12/16.
5) The Big DVD Sale—Great Entertainment as Low as $5.99. Offer valid from 11/17-12/16.
6) Save at Least 42% on ABC TV shows. Offer valid from 12/2-12/15.
7) Save up to 60% on over 900 DVD Boxed Sets. Offers posted from 12/2-12/22.
8) The TV Holi-Daily Deal: Special one-day deals on favorite TV shows. Offers posted from 12/4-12/16.



Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How Could Be so Dr. Evil


808s & Heartbreak

In true Kanye West braggadocios fashion, he recently stated that iTunes should create a new genre in their shore to put his music called Pop Art. According to Kanye, the only other artist worthy to be included in his new genre would be Pink Floyd. And as usually Kanye is somewhat right in that his new album needs to be included in a new iTunes page, but the gernre should be albums by great artist that should completely forgotten like Neil Young’s rock-a-billy album, Prince’s symbol era, Ryan Adams’ gangsta rap album, Chris Gaines, the Van Halen album fronted by the dude from Extreme and INXS being fronted by a reality contestant.

808s & Heartbreak may trump all of the above as a bad idea that ends all bad ideas. The album features Kanye singing depressingly emo songs with one of those annoying T-Pain voice modulation things over crappy French techno beats. But I guess the album does live up it its name with long titles like Welcome to Heartbreak, Heartless, Paranoid, Bad News, See You in My Nightmares, and Cold Winter.

One can assume we have the break up with his fiancĂ© to thank for this album. But as heartbreaking as it was, did Kanye really need to let us in on all the callous details. Even Taylor Swift thinks he is going over the line. C’mon, you are Kanye West, instead of getting back at her on wax, why don’t you get back by being seen with a new model at every event? Leave the uber-depressing music making to the professionals like the Counting Crows? You don’t hear them singing about ice and gold diggers.

Even the non uber-depressing songs, all one of them, are not much better. Amazing features a weak verse by Young Jezzy, the only rapping on the album, but not as lame as Kanye’s auto-tuning verses. It is baffling how some who has made three of the best albums could fall so far so fast. It is really hard to write how bad this album is so I will just stop now.

Song to Download - Heartless

808s & Heartbreak gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.




Kanye West on iTunes


Monday, November 24, 2008

I Don’t Believe There’s a Reason


Chinese Democracy - Guns n' Roses

Chinese Democracy is a huge disappointment. No not because of the music, but just because it was released at all. For the seventeen years since Guns n’ Roses last released a studio album, Chinese Democracy became this mythical figure, much like Big Foot you could find blurry video on YouTube of songs, but there wasn’t any hard facts that it actually existed besides a name. Had Vegas had it on its book, I would have put money on China becoming a Democratic state before Chinese Democracy was actually released.

Well, come to think of it, the music is pretty disappointing too. Of course unless it was the best album of the past seventeen years, the album was going to be disappointing no matter how good it was if you have had to wait more than half your life for. Not surprisingly, seventeen years of tinkering on songs has led to an album so overproduced Britney Spears would think it is too shiny.

Chinese Democracy puts the duel heads of Use Your Illusion in perspective. On the albums you had the punk influenced, riff heavy songs like Garden of Eden and the bombastic ten minute long Estranged. It is clear with Velvet Revolver that Slash wanted the riff-centric Guns n’ Roses while Rose wanted to push the group into the more theatrical rock as most of Chinese Democracy, even though don’t reach the length of some of the Use Your Illusion songs, they just feel as long sometimes.

Not surprisingly considering that is when a bulk of the music was started, the album sounds like a mix of hard rock from the mid-nineties. This is actually a good thing because if you think of it, the Foo Fighters are making the best hard rock music of the ’00, and , and no disrespect to Dave Grohl, but that isn’t a good sign for the genre these days. The title-track is a shred heavy monster, Shackler’s Revenge starts with a bunch of shrieks and technology blips that sound from the Trent Reznor laboratory, the alt-rock of Better, the atmospheric rock of The Verve on Sorry with each song morphing two or more genres in by the end.

With its piano and sappy beginning, you may think Street of Dreams was sung by a country artist until Axl trades in the baritone start for his signature squeal and moves the song into a November Rain type power balled. But in the end, there is just too much tinkering and second guessing that just brings down an otherwise solid album that may have sounded fresh fifteen years ago. As disappointing as Chinese Democracy is, on the bright side we all got a free Dr. Pepper out of it (well I would have if the Dr. Pepper website did not crash and their customer service number was not busy all day, they better extend this). And there is always Detox to make fun of.

Song to Download - Catcher in the Rye

Chinese Democracy gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Guns n Roses on iTunes


Sunday, November 23, 2008

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LVI


Chuck: I was a little perturbed last week when it wasn’t explained why Jill hooked up with Bryce Larkin right after breaking up and now I am completely befuddled. It cannot be a coincidence that he ended up being NSA and she Folcrum. I always hated when Chuck went into the past but I now want to know more. (My theory, she was always a spy, and she was assigned to get close to Chuck thinking he was going to be part of the recruiting thing at Stanford, when he got kicked out, she moved on someone who did get accepted: Bryce Larkin. She then got the boot when he hooked up with the Token Hot Chick) And come to think of it, have they ever actually explained who Folcrum is and what their mission statement is and who they are aligned with? You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Aw, the Wooo girl, the greatest and worst things ever. I can thank the Wooo Girls for so many memories that will never be repeated ever. And dare I say Hannity and Colmes may be the best derogatory tem for breasts ever? You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Heroes: And I though Peter trying to emote next to Kristen Bell was excruciatingly painful, but having her in scenes with Sylar makes me want to poke my eyes out. I know there aren’t many people on the show that can, but can they please have Kristen in scenes with people that are at least community theater quality actor. Seriously, who will be paired with next, Matt to hit the trifecta of horrible acting? Or better, just kill her off so I can stop watching this show. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com.

Heroes on iTunes


Eli Stone: Finally a musical number. But I am still weary of the two firms and how that plays out. Although I guess thanks to ABC, it won’t take me long to see how it plays out. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com. You can also download Eli Stone on iTunes.

Pushing Daisies: I was kind of looking forward to having a case where the dead were people that couldn’t talk. Although it was pretty obvious that the killer was just inept, that is why the animals died first. Hopefully ABC give the show a reprieve long enough so he can have a mute that is killed, of course in Pushing Daisies fashion, it would be a mime that wouldn’t break character even in death. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.

Pushing Daisies on iTunes


Survivor: There is nothing better on television these days than when people play a fake idol. If I am not mistaken, this is the third straight season someone tried to play a fake idol. And really no one deserved to play a fake idol more than that humongous tool. What was best is that everyone had a smile on their face when he first played it even thinking it was a game changer, or knowing that it was a fake.
You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.

Survivor on iTunes


My Name Is Earl: Holy Bob Rooney sighting! You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.



Saturday, November 22, 2008

Best of the Week vol. V


Quote of the Week: Now if you excuse me, I have a date with Hannity and Colmes. (Barney - How I Met Your Mother)

Song of the Week: Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd (How I Met Your Mother)

Big News of the Week: ABC Drops All the Shows I Watch on Their Network: The day after Tony Kornheiser gave Pushing Daisies some dap on Pardon the Interruption, ABC announced that the show would be taking its title too seriously. Michael Wilbon won’t be too happy that Dirty Sexy Money will be joining them. Also six feet under is Eli Stone. None of the shows are officially canceled or pulled from the schedule, but it is doubtful we will see any of the shows again after their original order of thirteen episodes are aired, that is if ABC bothers to air them all (I sense a buy the DVD to see unaired episodes situation coming). After the Jericho debacle, I doubt there is any luck resurrecting any of the shows by sending pies, stones, or dirt covered money to the network. The closest thing to hope fans can look to is a Friday Night Lights situation, although network may want to wait to see how successful that is before trying it themselves. And Mark Cuban, whom owns DirecTV, is a little busy these days with the SEC. At any rate, it may be time for another rant that anyone who thinks the Neilsen Ratings are credible are complete morons.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:

Yvonne Strahovski after a shower


Coalition Links of the Week:
From Turtle on Entourage to Thirteen on House, Buzz rounded up some of her favorite nicknamed TV characters. (BuzzSugar)

Vance loves Bobby Cannavale but isn't quite sure if he'll make a good Cupid yet after seeing the preview. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace took an advance look at the Doctor Who: Complete Series Four DVD which came out earlier this week and offered an early look at a potential ABC midseason schedule. (Televisionary)

I'm in ur hospital, sleepin' with ur interns! Dan continued his trend of ridiculing Grey's Anatomy with a new batch of LOLGrey's. (TiFaux).

Jennifer returned from maternity leave to chat with Rosie O’Donnell about her new variety show, Nip/Tuck, and The View and received a strike notice from her DVR. (Tube Talk)

Kate kinda hated herself for continuing to watch Stylista. But holy crap was this week's episode compelling! (TV Filter)

Heather had a longish chat with 24: Redemption's Robert Carlyle and, incredibly, managed to avoid once mentioning Hamish Macbeth! (TV Spy)


Free Download of the Week: Gettin’ Up - Q-Tip (iTunes): A couple weeks ago iTunes launch a Free Single of the Week and the former A Tribe Called Quest rapper’s latest video is yours without having to pay for it. I always wondered who actually pays to download music videos on iTunes. Why download a three music video for $1.99 when you can get a forty minute television show for the same price. But you cannot beat free. Now if only I could figure how to convert an iTunes video into a MP3 song.

Video of the Week: I have always been skeptical of the upcoming remake for Cupid from Rob Thomas, but the promo for the show hit the interwebs this week. Have a look:

Cupid - Remake Trailer (ABC)


Wow, after watching that I have to wonder if Bobby Cannavale watched every episode of Entourage back to back because he looks like he is trying too hard to do a Jeremy Pivin impersonation. Is there really anyone at ABC that thinks this will be better, or even perform better, than Eli Stone or Pushing Daisies? The channel may be morphing into The CW for me where I no longer watch it, not because I am boycotting it like Fox, but I don’t watch it because there just isn’t anything watchable.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Macy’s Thanksgivings Day Parade, Thursday at 9:00 AM on NBC: A yearly tradition even if I don’t know who seventy-five percent of the “stars” they have trotted out in the past decade. Surprisingly this year I actually recognize a few names like Miley Cyrus, David Archuleta, Kristen Chenoweth, James Taylor, Darius Rucker and Trace Adkins. Not appearing this year are The Cheetah Girls, whoever they are, because they got dumped from the show for some reason. Hopefully that means more Hootie.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Cleaning Out My Inbox vol. XII


A plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Chuck, 25 Days of Christmas, The Office, The Comedy Festival, and Colin Monroe.

- In honor of the impending Black Friday, the local Buy More where you can win you could win an autographed copy of the Season 1 DVD of Chuck or a set of the Chuck comic books from Wildstorm Comic books. Head over to NBC.com to put your Chuck knowledge to the test.

- Speaking of Christmas, we are just a week and a half away from the start of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas and below is a promo. Check back sometime after Thanksgiving when I post the full schedule for this year along with descriptions of the three new programs Snow 2: Brain Freeze, A Miser Brothers’ Christmas, and Christmas in Wonderland starring Patrick Swayze and Carmen Electra. (Wait, did I seriously just type that?)



- NBC.com really loves their webisodes and here is their most recent from The Office:



- I have talked about it already a few times, but The Comedy Festival finally kicked of yesterday in Las Vegas. For those not near the strip, click the link to stream live coverage or turn into TBS next weekend. Here’s the line up:

- Ellen’s Even Bigger Really Big Show (Saturday November 29 at 9:00): Ellen DeGeneres hosts a variety show.

- Funniest Movies (Saturday November 29 at 10:00): Frank Caliendo countdowns the funniest movies of 2008 decided by you the viewers. Sadly I forgot to rock the vote so my apologies if Cabin Boy doesn’t make the list.

- Cheech and Chong Roasted (Sunday November 30 at 10:00): Get it, Roasted? Oh, never mind. The seventies duo will be roasted by friends and comedians like Brad Garrett, Penn & Teller, and the Reverend Al Sharpton. (Wait, did I seriously just type that?)

- Jamie Foxx’s Laffapalooza (Sunday November 30 at 11:00): Tracy Morgan host of to comedians. Apparently not scheduled to appear: Jamie Foxx.

- Colin Monroe has a new mixtape coming out on December 1 that you can download at unsunghero.tv, until then check out the trailer:



- For those that don’t win the Chuck Black Friday contest but still want beat the rush next Friday, be sure to check out these current and upcoming deals at Amazon:

1) The TV Holi-Daily Deal (Special one-day deals on favorite TV shows.) Offers posted from 12/4-12/16.
2) TV DVDs as low as $6.99. Offer valid from 11/4-11/28.
3) Save at Least 42% on ABC TV shows. Offer valid from 12/2-12/15.
4) Save up to 55% on Wonderfalls, Buffy, and More. Offer valid from 11/10-11/24.
5) Save up to 60% on over 900 DVD Boxed Sets. Offers posted from 12/2-12/22.
6) Save up to 60% on Over 550 DVDs and Blu-ray Discs. Offer valid from 11/17–12/16.
7) The Big DVD Sale—Great Entertainment as Low as $5.99. Offer valid from 11/17-12/16.
8) Up to 50% Off over 200 Movies—from Shirley Temple to Juno! Offer valid from 11/4-11/24.
9) Over 445 Sci Fi DVDs as Low as $5.99. Offer valid now through 11/17.
10) Save Up to 50% on Kids' DVDs and Toys. Offer valid now through 11/24.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

It’s a Little too Late for You to Come Back


I Am... Sasha Fierce - Beyoncé

The music industry has been sinking in quick sand for the last couple years, but expect the bleeding to stop this week because BeyoncĂ© has what ails the industry and that is a double album. Yeah so to this point she has yet to fill one album full of great music and her last didn’t have any great songs on it but… wait, I have nothing, this is a bad idea to end all bad ideas.

Granted I Am… Sasha Fierce is only a double album in that it comes in two disks, but combined, the two albums only add up to eleven songs and just over forty minutes. Even the Deluxe Edition and its sixteen songs clock in at just over an hour, something that could easily fit on a single disk. So if we learn one thing from her new album it is BeyoncĂ© hates the environment.

As for the music, the album is split into two separate categories, the I Am section of the album is the slower, mellower portion while her alter ego Sasha Fierce is the more dance oriented part of the album. Sasha Fierce is a complete throw away, like when you buy the Rocky the Complete Collection
and throw away and forget the last two movies never existed, that is what you will want to do to the second disk. They are filled will boring Timbaland wannabe produced songs that rank at the bottom of anything B has ever done before.

I Am is much more respectable, even if nothing really comes close to any of her past glory. The closest comes in the form of Halo, a foot stomping, hand clamping romp that sounds made for a cavernous chapel. For those that put down the extra six bucks for the Deluxe Edition, be sure to go to the end for That’s Why You’re Beautiful, B’s most adventurous song to date, not that that says much.

You would think marriage would change some of the priorities of BeyoncĂ©, but she has stuck too many of the same themes that she has beat to death on her previous album. Despite her nuptials, she still apparently hates the opposite sex mocking us guys on If I Were a Boy. Then there is Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) which calls out those with commitment issues, but as we all know she found one that doesn’t have one. But the most laughable track is Dive which BeyoncĂ© claims is the female version of a hustler. Um, no. But keep trying to convince yourself.

The biggest disappointment comes from Babyface who penned the bland Broken-Hearted Girl. I have been hoping for a Babyface resurgence to save R&B for the mostly unlistenable version of today that relies way too much on hip-hop, but his contribution is the same lifeless tale of I Will Survive that BeyoncĂ© has gone over time and time again. Hopefully ’Face can find that magic touch again, and bring back Boyz II Men when he does. I really miss real R&B.

Song to Download - Halo

I Am… Sasha Fierce gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.




Beyonce on iTunes


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I Want My Music Television: Coldplay Edition


Coldplay has been releasing a cavalcade of videos lately, and most have been thanks to a video content they have for the acoustic version of Lost, which produced the below video:

Lost? - Coldplay




Lost+ - Coldplay and Jay-Z



It is good that they have other people creating videos for the song because the one they did was just you token live version. As for the Jay-Z Remix, they oddly just added him oddly via computer generated television. And did Hova really list Chris Martin along side Malcolm X?


Lovers in Japan - Coldplay



Amongst all the Lost variations, they released a video for a different song, Lovers in Japan which on the album is combined with a different song, but the video is just for the one.


My Hallelujah Song - Julianne Hough



Not a Coldplay video, but as I turned into Eli Stone last night I was stuck watching the end of Dancing with the Has Been's which seems to be ending later and later but I cannot complain too much because last night featured Julianna Hough in military garb. As for music, it just may be why God gave us the mute button.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

We Got No Class, No Taste



In two months, Barack Obama will be sworn in as the next president of the United States of America and there will be plenty of items on his plate from day one: two wars, the impending depression, Detroit imploding. One thing that should not be overlooked is NAFTA. It is hard to gauge Obama’s stance on the trade agreement as he would say it is working while campaigning in the South but here in Ohio he would say he was against it. Hopefully he was lying to the Texans because NAFTA needs a complete overhaul. Case in point: Nickelback. Think of all the goods and services that we send up to our northern neighbor over the life of NAFTA and what we get in return in a bland rock band.

The thing about Nickelback is they would have sufficed as a one hit wonder. How You Remind Me was a catchy ditty with a sing a long chorus. And the band should have quit while there were ahead because since then they have just released album after album with cheesy mid temp schlock and their attempt at heavy medal, of which they fail most of the time.

Three albums and twenty five million albums sold later, the band is back for more of the same that is so derivative of their previous songs you have to wonder if the band has some sort of Mad Libs for songwriters where they change the chord progressions and a few words and viola: a new album. It seems almost apropos that the band brought in Mutt Lange, the dude who launched Def Leppard before marrying Shania Twain to produce the album, because the band is the closest thing this generation has to a hair band making the future prom ballads and pseudo-metal even shinier than in the past.

Dark Horse starts off in true Nickelback fashion with Something in Your Mouth, that something being a, wait for it, wait for it, a thumb. If you listen closely you can hear the band snicker like sixth graders at the lamest double entendre ever. Even less subtle is S.E.X. which includes the chorus, “S is for the simple need, E is for the ecstasy.” Apparently they don’t care enough to come up with an X although it would have sufficed to stand for ecstasy. But these aren’t MENSA members we are dealing with.

The band dives deeper in to hair band territory with I’d Come for You (cue even more sixth grade snickering) which rips off even more than these five words they promised you in How You Remind Me in an almost a note for note Ad Libs type recreation of I’ll Be There for You by Bon Jovi. Nickelback even tries to recreate their one and only new idea at the end of the album when tries too hard to be Rockstar. Excuse me if I am the last to use the quasi-ironic phrase, but that is not change you can believe in.

Song to Download - Gotta Be Somebody

Dark Horse gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.