57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXIX

Winter Olympics: It is sad that the curling competition not just because last night will be the last time we see the Norwegian uniform, but we will have to wait another four years until we get to watch another curling match. Seriously, cannot ESPN find a spot to air some matches? Certainly they could find some open time on The Ocho.

Tool Academy: You know it is true love when your Tool spots a decade old line from a chick flick while sobbing. “You complete me.” To quote Kyle, “Psst, chicks, I don’t know.” And it only took the girlfriends two episodes this season to break out the claws. And did the skinny dippers conveniently forget they had a dude and a lesbian lurking around? You can stream recent episodes over at vh1.com. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Greek: No Dale and Rebecca scenes this week. Hurfph. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Lost: So Jack has a kid because Jacob never touched him. Alrightly. Naturally the writers played coy with the mother but really there is only one plausible (not that Lost hasn’t dealt with unplausibility), and mommy dearest will turn out to be Juliet. The kid it too old to be Carol Vessey’s and it would be a very long stretch for anyone else (and extremely disappointing if it is someone we haven’t met). But of course, the time for questions is over!

While back on the island we get yet another anticlimactic ending with Smokie turning out to be Claire’s friend. But we do not learn why she was so angry that someone took her baby when it was actually she left her baby unattended in the woods all alone which is why someone took Aaron.

But the biggest smack to the head dumb was Jacob having Hurley leading Jack to some Lighthouse where everyone was once again listed (just how many more places are the names scribbled across the island?) on some dial like apparatuses, only for Jack to smash the mirrors. The mirrors that helped Jacob (presumably) help guide the candidates to the island. Sure, why not? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: I call baloney. For years now, Probsts has been telling tribes that they could not sit out the same people in back to back challenges only to explain away Courtney sitting out two in a row by saying that it resets every episode. Lame. This deprives us from seeing Candice body slam her into the mud. And not to sound chauvinistic, but they really need to incorporate mud challenges more often. And you know it was gratuitous because there was an unnecessarily amount of mud that went up to some contestants knees. The only way it would have been more gratuitous would be if they made them compete in the mud. Maybe next season. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.