I Don't Like Porn, Guns, I Don't Fit in This House

Like many reality shows VH1 rolls out, Supergroup didn’t really show up on my radar. But like reality shows on VH1, I seemed to catch every single minute. The premise was pretty basic and was pretty much Making the Band but with established artist. Well established artists and a dude from Biohazard. I guess there are not many marquee hard rock bass players as Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers is too busy still being relevant. Rounding out the rest of the group was Ted Nugent on lead guitar, who is always good for a one-liner my favorite being when he describe the new songs as, “so obnoxiously Ted Nugent, I may have to (expletive deleted) myself tonight.” Then there was Scott Ian of Anthrax on rhythm guitar, Jason Bonham, as in John’s son, behind the drum kit, and Sebastian Bach of Gilmore Girls fame on vocals, although they kept on mentioning some band he was apparently in before Gilmore Girls. Who knew?

Considering this was a rock group, there was plenty of sex, drugs and rock and roll, not necessarily in that order. The sex portion came when the wives arrived for a visit as the dude from Biohazard’s wife just so happens to be a porn star who convinced Mrs. Bach to join her in a pictorial. But the porn star wasn’t even the most surprising significant other as Ian just so happened to be engaged to Meatloaf. I have a feeling we may have a preview of the next VH1 reality series. And who wouldn’t want a little Anthrax on their Meatloaf?

The drugs part of the equation was interesting as the group included a member as clean as a whistle (for those who saw Ted Nugent Behind the Music will no his only addition has to do with a female species, he eats them raw like sushi), two recovering addicts, and two full on drinkers, one of which, Bach, went through a forced detox after his drinking got out of control leading to the most entertaining part of the show when the dude from Biohazard punched him.

But the real stars of the show were Valerie (who uttered this post’s title) and Jay, part of a PR team brought in to sell the band that went through names like Rawdog and Fist before settling on Damnocracy. It seemed like every one of their ideas were turned down from stylists to clothing designers and even tried to get Bach to cut his hair while the band became more disinterested with more with every suggestion. Then ever time a band member flat out told them no, they would stood they shocked, mouth open, that someone would reject their ideas. But nothing topped the look on their faces when they walking in of the wives very naked photoshoot. Who know whether there will be a second season or if that second season will be of Damnocracy or a group made up of entirely new members, but hopefully Valerie and Jay are back.

Supergroup 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.