As September starts, we will be inundated with new televisions shows none of which will doubtfully be as great as the benchmark of great television, The Dukes of Hazzard, the latest induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. In my youth when bed time was promptly 8:00 but was allowed to stay up for one show a week and this was the show that was always chosen. The show definitely stood the test of time because years later, thanks to TNN (now the unwatchable Spike channel) would rerun the show in the afternoon and would routinely become a staple around the dorm in college. And The Dukes of Hazzard Playstation game got its share of playtime during that time. I actually had a roommate who would start up the game to hear the theme song.
As the song goes, the show stared two good ol’ boys, Tom Wopat and John Schneider. Schneider of course would go on to play Clack Kent’s dad while Wopat would go on to, well, guest on Smallville. The cousins in one large family tree also had a female cousin and an Uncle Jesse who fathered none of them. Now I was way too young to understand the greatness of Daisy Duke during the first run of the show but definitely appreciated her in the nineties when the daisy dukes came back in style.
Yeah the Dukes were an entertaining crew but the most entertaining characters were the bad guys led by Boss Hogg, who pretty much owned all of Hazzard County and was always trying to get the Duke boys arrested for something. And that is where Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane came in with his trusty basset hound Flash (full disclosure: I had a stuffed animal Flash that I think is packed away in a box awaiting for me to knock up some chick to give to that offspring). And down the power chain, the dumber the police were as Deputies Enus and Cletus were even more inept than Roscoe.
Filling out the cast were Cooter (greatest nickname ever), the Dukes mechanic and Waylon Jennings who served as the narrator and sang the theme song. But the real star of the show was the General Lee, a 1969 Dodge Charger. It is a good thing I was way too young when the show was on to drive otherwise I would have had tried jumping rivers and other things that were featured on the show. But I did go threw a phase where I refused to use a car door, instead entering and exiting solely threw the window.
Now I could do a whole post on how the Theme to Dukes of Hazzard is the greatest theme song ever (seriously, I won’t hear an argument for anything else), instead I will lent you see for yourself below coutesy of YouTube:
Just for the record, just like many building do not have thirteenth floors, there was never a fifth season of The Dukes of Hazzard. Along those same lines there was never a feature film version featuring a blonde Daisy Duke.
Recently I scanned my iPod for potentials songs for this running segment and ended up with a playlist of over fifty potential songs for future Feed Your iPods (that is not to say I don’t want to hear from you, if you have a suggestion that fits the bill, write up a short paragraph and shoot me an e-mail and maybe I’ll feature it later). But there is something to say that amongst all these great songs, there is one that went into instant repeat mode.
I can’t say I was ever much of a big Fiona Apple fan in the beginning, there were a few good songs, one great song, one great speech (ah, remember when the VMA’s were interesting) but nothing really kept my interest. Like most people I ignored her second album mostly because I didn’t finish reading the album title until sometime last year. That was a shame because I missed a great song Paper Bag.
I have Zach Braff for introducing me to the song as it was included in the soundtrack to the otherwise forgettable The Last Kiss. I guess I shouldn’t have expected more from the hack who wrote Crash. But enough about pretentious movies. The song is full of quoteworthy lines thanks to Fiona not being afraid to let everyone know of her eccentricities (full discloser: I like my woman a little off kiltered), there is just something about the way she says, “I went crazy again.”
But the best lines are saved for the chorus: “Hunger hurts and I want him so much I would kill. But I know I’m a mess he don’t wanna clean up.” And you get the sense that Fiona knows of all these eccentricities when she sings, “He said ‘It’s all in your head’ and I said ‘so is everything’ but he didn’t get it.” There is also something to say about the pitch point production that hits every right note thanks to Jon Brion who has gone on to help out with Kanye West’s two most recent albums.
When looking to see if there was a video on YouTube so I could highlight the song I was surprised to see there was a proper music video produced for Paper Bag. It is disturbing that a song of this quality couldn’t get any airplay especially considering the song was released in 1999, the worst year in recorded music ever. Seriously, look it up, worst ever. The video makes the great song even better with the pseudo-musical feel to it, reminiscent of the McG videos from the mid-nineties (before he went off to make crappy movies and television shows) without the exaggerated color.
Yesterday I covered part one of my 2007 Fall Music Preview, and before I get to part two I have to remind you that somewhere in part one you can find a free iTunes download from not one, but two musical legends. And I want to look back at the summer before going into the fall real quickly. I have made it known my displease of Umbrella by Rihanna until I heard the Mandy Moore version (see You’re Part of My Entity) and I didn’t think I could like the song anymore until I heard the DJ Top Cat mash-up with UB40’s Red, Red Wine which you can download over at Mashup Town. Now we at the 9th Green in know way condone illegally download music so if you like either song be sure to use the links below to buy the songs from iTunes.
Chase This Light - Jimmy Eat World: Despite that last album being wrongfully overlooked, Pain is one of the great full out rock songs of this decade. Hopefully this album is as great as their previous ones and gets some success they received for The Middle back in 2001. Preorder Chase This Light on iTunes. If you preorder the album you will get a Ticketmaster code that will allow you to purchase Jimmy Eat World concer tickets before the general audience.
Chrome Dreams II - Neil Young: Some of you might be thinking to yourself, when was Chrome Dreams I released? Well, despite being recorded a couple decades ago, it was never released, but releasing a follow up to an unreleased album still isn’t in the top five strangest things Neil Young has ever done.
Ultimate Victory - Chamillionaire: Okay to be honest, the only reason I am spotlighting thing album is just in case there are any songs worthy of another great “Weird Al” Yankovic parody. And the album features hip-hop legend Slick Rick.
October 23
Carnival Ride - Carrie Underwood: Underwood easily put out the best post karaoke album ever with Some Hearts and unlike other former karaokers, she is smart not to change the formula too much like demanding that she write all her own songs so you can expect some more country pop.
Black Fingernails, Red Wine - Eskimo Joe: I know absolutely nothing about this band or album except their name for some reason gave me a few laughs when they played the Australia venue of Live Earth. Granted I shouldn’t laugh too hard in case they become the next INXS, but then again they could become the next Men at Work.
October 30
The Cool - Lupe Fiasco: In the lead up to his debut, Lupe had been labeled the savior of rap, and himself even said in one of his songs, come in Hip-Hop, we’ve come to resurrect you” yet never quite completely lived to the hype. Hopefully he builds on the last album and finally lives up to the hype on this one.
Long Road out of Eden - Eagles: Someone said this is their first studio in almost three decade, but didn’t they put one out not too long ago with the Hole in the World song on it? When Hell Freezes Over came out I was completely on The Eagles bandwagon, but I can’t say I really care that much anymore.
November 6
I Am Me - Alicia Keys: After Graduation, this is my most anticipated upcoming album. Yeah her first two album were just good, but there is definitely a great to classic album in Alicia Keys and this may be it and my sources tell me that John Mayer may make an appearance. I have been playing the song she debuted at Live Earth constantly since.
Saturday Nights, Sunday Mornings - Counting Crows: The Counting Crows are in the discussion of the best first two albums ever. But you can also argue that they had one of the steepest drop-off in music history. Adam Duritz stated that he has rededicated himself to his craft so maybe this will be a comeback of sorts. The album also may be a double album divided into songs about Saturday Nights and the other surprisingly being about Sunday Mornings
You can also look for a re-release of the inaugural induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame, August and Everything After on September 18. It features six bonus tracks and a bonus live disk recorded on the last date of the tour to support that album.
The Carnival II: Memoirs of an Immigrant - Wyclef Jean: It has been ten years since Clef released the first Carnival. Coincidentally, it has also been a decade since he had a hit (granted Two Wrongs should have been one) aside from when he rode Shakira’s coattails. The album will feature your usual cavalcade of token rap guest spots including Akon, Mary J. Blige, Lil’ Wayne, T.I. and, um, Paul Simon?
November 13
8 Diagrams - Wu-Tang Clan: A wise man once told me that Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nuntin’ to (expletive delegated) wit. Expect an ODB tribute song (who will appear courtesy of previously record material), guest spots from Q-Tip, some dude from System of a Down and John Frusciante who appears on a song based around George Harrison’s While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
Frank - Amy Winehouse: Many of you man not realized that Back to Black was not Winhouse’s first album, instead Frank was her debut, but hasn’t been released stateside until now. Although this album does predate her work with producer Mark Ronson who helped develop the cool retro vibe of some of the best songs on her current album.
November 20
Untitled - Mariah Carey: Some would call The Emancipation of Mimi her comeback album; personally I don’t think anything post-Honey is worth listening to. One of the main reasons she has become unlistenable, Jermaine Dupri, will be back to produce some tracks.
No dates have been confirmed yet, but you may also expect albums from The Roots (Rising Down), Gnarls Barkley, Q-Tip (The Resistance), Mary J. Blige, and Duran Duran (The Red Carpet Massacre). There are also some live albums coming from R.E.M. (their first ever), Daft Punk, and Brian Setzer Orchestra. And being the holiday season, of course there are the prerequisite greatest hits albums from Nas, Santana, The Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox Twenty, Faith Hill, Spice Girls (seriously?), and Eric Clapton which, despite being called The Complete Clapton, does not include Layla or anything pre-1980.
Rumors abound that there will be albums from Michael Jackson and Eminem (yawn) and a music preview wouldn’t be complete with the obligatory, maybe this is the year Chinese Democracy comes out.
Like I said in part 1, if I left off your favorite upcoming album or just want to say what you are most looking forward to the fall, drop me a comment.
To get you to read this whole post, somewhere I tell how to get a free song from a major artist with an album coming out.
September starts up this weekend which means record companies are stacking their release schedule in hopes for your Christmas dollars. Well the first Tuesday is pretty bleak with nothing but a reissue of The Piper at the Gates of Dawn headlining the week, but after that it is nothing but big names until Thanksgiving. Much like every Fall Music Preview past I have to give my obligatory the three quarters of the year sucked massively with only a few bright spots, most notably from English chicks with problems (i.e. Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse). But the few bright spots were overshadowed by some monumental disappointment (i.e. Kelly Clarkson, Fall Out Boy, Maroon 5, Smashing Pumpkins, Trapped in the Closet, rap music in general).
Here is a look at some artists who hope to turn the record company’s success around, many of which will have their albums reviewed here. If you are interrested in preordering the albums from Amazon, the link on the album name will take you their, the links on artists names will take you to their iTunes page. If I left one of your favorite artists off the list with an upcoming album feel free to drop me a comment or feel free to wax poetic in the comment section on which albums you are looking forward to. (Note: release dates subject to change)
September 11
Graduation - Kanye West: As mentioned earlier, rap music in general hasn’t been very good this year, but if there is someone who can change that it will be the guy who released the two best rap albums this decade. Although I am a little worried about the T-Pain and Lil’ Wayne cameos. See the side bar to preorder Graduation on iTunes.
Curtis - 50 Cent: Nothing says I completely sold out more that a Justin Timberlake appearance. 50 said he would retire if Kanye out sold him which should be enough reason to pick up Graduation this week. Preorder Curtis on iTunes.
September 18
Drastic Fantastic - KT Tunstall: Tunstall is one o four artists that can boast they receive a Severe rating on my Terror Alert so my expectations are high for her sophomore outing. Granted after hearing the first single my expectations dropped just a little. Preorder Drastic Fantastic on iTunes.
Last of Seven - Pat Monahan: The dude from Train with a solo album? Well the dude from Matchbox Twenty had a few hit so I guess why not.
Playlist - Babyface: Remember when Babyface was the biggest R&B songwriter. I won’t a correlation that the genre has pretty much sucked since he went out of demand. Now ‘Face is trying out other’s material with a cover album including the James Taylor classic Fire and Rain.
September 25
Echo, Silence, Patience and Grace - Foo Fighters: I can’t say I have bought a Foo Fighters album since the first one, but that is not to say they don’t have plenty of songs I love. And the first single, The Pretender definitely rocks hard. Preorder Echo, Silence, Patience and Grace on iTunes.
Songs About Girls - Will.i.am: I was a big Black Eyed Peas guy back in the day. Then the Fergie era was ushered in and they have sucked ever since. So this should be interesting to see if Fergie is like good music kryptonite and take her out of the equation and Will be entertaining again or has she tainted him forever.
October 2
Magic - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band: Remember at the top of the post you could get a free song from a major artist, well that is from none other than Bruce and company. Click on Radio Nowhere and download the first single off the album for free on iTunes. Yeah this is cool but it is a safe assumption I am going to buy the whole album anyway, but will be able to jam to the song for a month before the album comes out but you can always pre-order the album while you are picking up the single now. Get song now because it stops being free at the end of this week
As an added bonus, you can also get the new Paul McCartney single, Nod Your Head as well as the video (which is prett cheesy) for the song for free too.
Revival - John Fogerty: October 2nd is like September 11th for old white dudes with the Boss taking on the Creedence Clearwater Revival front man. Well accept it is obvious who will take the top spot this week.
Live Earth: Interesting that the track listing hasn’t been released yet so I bet there are some licensing issues which may leave some great performances off the disk (are the Rolling Stones trying to get too much money for the Gimme Shelter performance?). The only confirmed song is John Mayer’s Waiting on the World to Change. Preorder Live Earth on iTunes.
October 9
Rock and Roll Jesus - Kid Rock: My sources tell me this album, his first in four years, six since anyone cared, will be more rock than rap. The first single, So Hot is pretty forgettable. Maybe he should hook back up with Sheryl Crow and target the soccer mom again.
Heroes and Thieves - Vanessa Carlton: I’m a little torn on her comeback. On one hand I love her first album (indifferent to the second) but they she went and signed with The Inc (formerly Murder Inc) and Irv Gotti is helping produce the album.
The Black and White Album - The Hives: The group may have recorded one of the best one hit wonders of the decade but it looks like this is their attempt to wipe that title from their résumé.
Click the link to see part 2 of my 2007 Fall Music Preview. And again if I missed anything let me know or just comment on what you are looking forward to.
When we last saw Ben Harper, he dropped a pretty decent double album last album, half filled with funky grooves and the other with mellow tunes, which may have been better off as one single disk. The whole album barely went over an hour so conceivably it could have. Now Harper is back with his Innocent Criminals for a new album, Lifeline, recorded right after coming off his last tour straight to analog tape in a studio in Paris.
My guess it would be hard to be putting out album for fifteen years and only have one hit, yet it never seems to faze Harper who has never tried to recreate the funky Steal My Kisses or its limited success. The latest songs here on Lifeline sound like a mish mash of the two disks of Both Sides of the Gun into a singular not so rock, not so mellow disk. Most of the songs sound like a striped down version of seventies soul classic, very little flashes of horns, instead mostly acoustic guitars and pianos fill out the music.
On Needed You Tonight, Harper goes back and forth effortless from contained shouting to smooth vocals as if he were channeling Otis Redding. But the closest Harper comes to recreating that classic soul sound is on Heart of the Matters (not to be confused with the Don Henley song), a classic slow building song that culminates with the arrival of some backing singers to get across the great chorus and bridge at the end of the song.
Recording right off the road may have contributed to keeping the juices flowing in the Innocent Criminals because they haven’t sounded better; they even come close to reaching the climax of the great Stax house band Booker T and the MG’s. The groove created by the piano, electric and acoustic guitars for Put it on Me should have your toes tapping until the next time Ben and the boys go back into the studio.
A very rare two post day (so if you have not already be sure to scroll down to see my exclusive clip of Reaper)...
...but if there were a reason to have a special post it would be because of a video that includes Lily Allen (in an astronaut suit!), production from Kanye West, Jeremy Piven (of PCU fame), a rare Dame Dash sighting, an OK Go shout out, dissing dudes who appear half naked on their MySpace page, a reference to the greatest show on television Pardon the Interruption (heads on sticks!) and the hottest token hot chick in a hip-hop video ever. Oh, and I think Common is in there somewhere. And how cute is Lily in the scene with the cut out heads (hear that music folk, it's time for a little Role Play, I'll give and you will receive). Seriously, is it too late to write into the Justice Department to get her visa issues resolved in time for the Video Music Awards?
Reaper has been one of those shows that the more I learn about it the less interested I become. Hearing that Kevin Smith was directing the pilot first got excited for it. Then when I saw a picture of the lead characters in those silly outfits made me hesitate. Then when they switched out the Token Hot Girl with the shape shifter from Heroes I was starting to get discouraged. Then last week I mentioned that I saw a five minute synopsis of Reaper I lost all interest in see the show in its entirety.
Of course whoever saw that post just had to take my word for it, but since then and today Blogger has added the ability to upload video, so here now, courtesy of The CW, is that five minutes I saw so you can see for yourself if I was correct in saying the show, "looks like it has not decided if it wants to rip off Ghostbusters or Army of Darkness more (but fails to do either very well)." Be warned, major plot points from the first episode are revealed within the promo below so watch at your own risk of being spoiled. Reaper premieres Tuesday September 25 at 9:00 on The CW.
I wonder if the dog abuse scene will be cut by the time the episode airs.
Big News of the Week: Friday Night Lights 1.x out on DVD Tuesday: Surprising NBC, in all their infinite wisdom didn’t decide to release the DVD on a Friday to avoid confusion. But anyways. If you were one of the way too many who skipped hands down the best new show of last year, here is your chance to check it out before the second season begins October 5 at 9:00. Of course for those that saw the first season in its entirety you may want to pick it up to relive the greatness that is Landry Clarke and the Dillon Panthers as the DVD is currently only $19.99 on Amazon, see right. Also if you are FNL fan or football fan in general, come join my fantasy football league, appropriately title Dillon Panther Football League, and take on my Landry’s Revenge. Drop me an e-mail for the League ID and password Draft is Tuesday September 4 at 9:00 PM EST.
One thing I try to avoid is to say things that have already been said. But on the other hand I am a big fan of beating a dead horse (note to self: start trying to convince people that I am bringing sexyback) so here is my obligatory “Kristen Bell signs up for a couple episodes of Heroes” comment. Certainly all the uber-nerd got way too excited about the news, but I am going to take the opposing view. As much as I would like to see Kristen again, one of the last places I want to see her is on Heroes. If I wanted to see her recite horrible dialogue surrounded by people who can’t act, I would have bought Pulse on DVD.
But one of the reasons I hadn’t dropped the show from my viewing list last year is because it always had the potential to be great but have been dogged by poor writing and even worse acting and the addition of Bell can help half of that. (Helping that even more would be if absorbing dude stays dead and kill off hearing guy and split personally chick.) Granted the other half may actually get worse as I assume Brian Fuller, who wrote by far the best episode of last season Company Man, will not be spending as much time around the show as he will be launching Pushing Daisies in the fall.
Oh and guess for my obligatory story I need a title: Kristen, Now There’s a Hero that Can Ring My Bell
Greek: The candy bar trick could quite possibly be the greatest thing ever, well assuming you have a teacher that will let you eat in class. But that brought me back to the good old days in high school when the English teacher didn’t realize why we would want to use our graphing calculator on the tests. And I have said it since the first episode, and I still don’t care at all for the Cappie/Casey/Even love triangle. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.
Rescue Me: It is nice to see Tommy made it down off the fire escape okay. The show like to put him peril at the end of episodes only to have him safe and sound at the start of the next with little explanation a little too much. And what is Lou thing contemplating revenge sex with that ugly chick. Revenge sex is only applicable if the chick if at the very least half way decent or it is basically you losing twice.
Pick of the Week: LiveStrong Candidate Forum, Monday and Tuesday, MSNBC: I would like to pass along a time but I looked at MSNBC’s schedule and this wasn’t listed at all. I do know that the democrats meet Monday while the republican have theirs Tuesday with Lance Armstrong and Chris Matthews as your moderators. Consipciously absent although will be cancer survivors Rudy Guiliani and John McCain as well as Barak Obama who lost his mother to the disease. If anyone knows when these are airing, please drop me a comment or e-mail.
We are less than a month away from the start of the new fall schedule and every new show not named Pushing Daisies has yet piqued my interested. But I am interested on what new shows are making you excited and below is an Unspun widget you can play with. You can either give up or down votes to different show or click “Add an item to this list” to do just that or you can click here to go to the page and rank the shows yourself.
There are two things that really bother me in modern movies. The first is CGI; it stifles creativity and gives filmmakers an easy way out of filming certain scenes. The other is when filmmakers take liberties with historic event which has led to my ban of bio-flicks. Yet even though it breaks two of my cardinal rule, 300 is still a sight to behold.
My dislike for CGI typically comes from making computer generated images try to look like real things, but usually failing, taking viewers out of the movie. But this doesn’t apply to 300 which doesn’t try at all for realism, instead goes for the stylized version that Frank Miller used for his graphic novel the movie is based on. And that is also why I give the movie a pass on historical accuracy because the movie is much more about the look than the story (although director Zach Snyder claims the events are ninety percent accurate).
It take a while for the story to get moving as the first half of the movie spends more time setting up the political aspects of the film. Oh, and ignore all the pro-Bush stuff that surrounded the film, the script is taken word for word from the graphic novel written back in 1998, long before he launched his War on Terror. But despite the lull at the beginning, they only kill three Persians in the first forty minutes; you are too distracted by the surrounding to even care.
And when the action starts, the film never wanes as the Spartans defend the land from literally millions of Persians, and other Asians they have conquered and enslaved. And with all the killing, the Spartans literally build a wall of dead Persians; it is hard to recommend the movie to anyone but your token straight dude who likes football, books about war, and all that stuff. Well certainly gay dudes could thoroughly enjoy the movie too, but for entirely different reasons. The Persian God-king Xerxes, played by that random dude who was killed off Lost last season, is gayer than anything you would find in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Not too surprisingly Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denounced the film (which should be reason enough to see it). No word on what film enthusiast and crazed dictator in his own right, Kim-Jong Il, thought of the movie.
In a story I broke here last week, people across the country are gearing to go back to school if they haven’t started back already. And here is a song I debated in including the most recent Lyrics Quiz but decided going with a better known Kanye West song (which surprising went unguessed) School Spirit. The song is my favorite of his debut album, which says a lot considering it ranks at the top of my list of best hip-hop albums this decade. It also holds the distinction of playing over the opening credits of the proposed movie to my unfinished memoirs (note to aspiring screenwriters: it is not the best idea to create the soundtrack before writing the script).
The song is classis Kanye, managing to namedrop Norah Jones and Pootie Tang, which features Kristen Bell in her first film role, in the same song. Hopefully Graduation, out September 11th (see the side bar to pre-order on iTunes), lives up to his previous two, and for the love of hip-hop let it out sell 50 Cent’s album that drops the same day. 50 said he would retire if Kanye out sells him. That’s enough reason to pick up Graduation even if it doesn’t live up to the previous album. The video below is a fan made video from the song. Oddly enough, even though the album I bought had the parental advisory sticker, much like the version below, my album version was censored. Oh well.
It is hard pressed to think of a bigger letdown than the latest installments in R. Kelly’s master opus that is Trapped in the Closet: maybe Lost season 2, U2’s Pop, Austin Powers in Goldmember, learning there is no Santa Clause. How possibly could something so great go so wrong. The first five chapters were soap operas for the hip-hop crowd following a man caught by his one night stand’s husband who in turn was creeping around with, wait for it, wait for it: a dude! And when Sylvester finally got out of the quagmire, he arrives home only to realize that his own wife was having a bout of infidelity.
After the instant phenomenons that were the first five chapters, Kells quickly churned out seven more chapters in no time that were arguably better than before thanks to a midget named big man. My favorite part of the whole epic has to be in chapter 9 when the policeman was about to open the cabinet, the narrator busted out of the closet to say, “Now pause the movie ‘cos what I’m about to say to ya’ll is so damn twisted. Not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man... is a midget, midget, midget!” Really, the only thing that could top the first twelve chapters of Trapped in the Closet in terms of entertainment value was watching Trapped in the Closet with the R. Kelly commentary on.
Then almost two years go by and all we get from the Pied Piper of R&B is another boring, and Closet-less album, Double Up. But in the liner notes, we did get a promise of more chapters by summer, which did arrive. The hype started well enough with the great recap of the previous channels (as if anyone needed to be reminded of what has gone down so far) and as Monique correctly pointed out, had the “best chorus of ‘Oh (expletive deleted)’ evah.”
Then finally the latest chapter hit the internet last Monday like Christmas, Easter and my birthday all rolled into one. Well that is how it felt until I watched chapter 13. All we get is Sylvester and Twan riding in a car, albeit with a couple good lines, and an inexplicable cameo from Rosie the Nosie Neighbor and her limp husband. Nothing big happened, no midget, nothing but me sitting at my computer screen wondering, “This is what I waited two years for?” And things didn’t get much better from there including a blink and you miss it chapter that was barely a minute long.
I brought up Lost in the intro for a reason because the missteps Trapped in the Closet took eerily parallel the television show. They spent too much time on character that are no longer that interesting (Sylvester/Jack), introduced characters we didn’t care about (lesbian chicks/the tailie), while ignoring characters we came to love (the midget/Hurley), didn’t answer long standing questions (how did Locke get in the wheelchair, who is the midget working for), and there was a frustrating dream sequence, while the viewers were left wonder if the writers knew what they were doing. But at least in Trapped in the Closet didn’t kill off the token hot chick (granted mostly because there never was one).
But unlike Lost, which ended season two with a What the Frac moment as we got our first glimpse of someplace off the island, Kells leaves us with a cliffhanger which doubtfully has anyone actually hanging. Sure, there are some people out there wondering what this package everyone is talking about in the last chapter. But those people are morons. The package that Chuck has is obviously some sort of VD, most likely AIDS, which was passed around to all the characters because they were all sleeping together (although we do know that Gwendolyn and the policeman at the very least had a condom present). But after all of this, color me less excited for chapter 23.
You can watch the entire Trapped in the Closet over at ifc.com/trapped.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form.. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Here is a song to get your blood pumping. The latest single from Linkin Park certainly made a B-line to my workout playlist on my iPod. The video is memorizing in how simple it looks but for the life of me, no matter how many times I watch it, can I tell how they made it work and did what they did with the cameras. Plus what’s up with Chester’s plunging neckline? Did he raid Freddie Mercury’s closet?
I had to do a double take at the beginning of the video as the recreate the start of the most memorable video from Vanessa Carlton, A Thousand Miles. The destruction of the piano isn’t as iconic as when George Michaels blew up the Faith jukebox in Freedom! ’90, mostly because George was doing it to destroy the image he built up with Carlton seems to be doing so out of spite of her old record label that dropped her. And with the new label, The Ink, that may be thee switch in sounds as gone are the orchestration of her first album, replaced with a more percussion driven backing and the more come hither looks in the video. I wonder if she has been hanging out with Ashanti. It should be interesting to hear how the whole album turns out.
Yeah Talib Kweli completely ripped of those HP commercials for the first half of the video, but all of those are visually stunning and are an idea worth stealing. Granted the song wasn’t really the best choose for the next single off the album. And it is off that they would edit out Kanye’s verse for In the Mood.
If my calculations are correct, every song from Loose has been officially released as a single. Yet for the life of me I don’t remember this song being on the album at all. And the song is infectious in an if Madonna made listenable music back in the nineties kind of way.
It was about this time last year when Talib Kweli dropped the first single from Ear Drum. Of course back when Listen!!! was making the rounds the album was supposed to come out in early November 2006 but alas got delayed. Then the second single dropped in February of this year. And still no album on the shelves. Yeah you finally find the album wondering around the internet as early as June, but you can finally get your hands on the legal version today.
Was Ear Drum worth the wait? Um, yes and no. When Talib is on he comes up with some near classic tracks, but nothing on the album tops what we first heard of the disk, Listen!!! But the album, which goes twenty tracks deep, has plenty of filler. Some of this is thanks to the company the rapper keeps. Starting at the back with the album closer The Nature which was co-produced by and features Justin Timberlake whom obviously didn’t pick up anything when working with the likes of Timbaland or The Neptunes.
Also playing the duel role of producer and featured artist is Will.i.am on Hot Thing that just sounds like every other bland bootie song on the last two Black Eyed Peas album. And it is not that Kweli can’t pull of the bootie song as heard on Kanye West’s Get ‘em High (Kanye of which shows up on the decent In the Mood). More useless cameos come from Houston natives UGK on Country Cousins where the group and Talib trade verses on what they like about rappers from different areas. Norah Jones gets herself on another rap album but unfortunately instead of converting her to his genre Talib on Soon the New Day, but instead the song sound like Kweli rapping over one of Norah’s but with the snare beats turned up.
With that said, there is plenty of stuff that will take you back to ’88. Listen!!! is a classic head nodder that should be welcome at any block party for years. The son of two professors shows us his knowledge on NY Weather Report and More or Less where he tells us what we need, well, more and less of. And there are a couple guest and actually add to the song, not take away including Old School hero KRS-One on The Perfect Beat as well as a well placed choir on Hostile Gospel pt. 1 (Deliver Us). Hopefully his next album, which Kweli has already titled Prisoner of Conscience, isn’t delayed for almost a year, as well as having trimmed some of the fat before released.
Sorry I don’t have anything proper written for today because I have spent the last coupe days in the greatest thing ever in the history of the internet: flavoroflovecasting.com. Seriously, who needs the let down that has been Trapped in the Closet when you can watch videos of morbidly obese hood rats, as they attempt to get on a show where they will have to make out with a dude pushing fifty. There was even someone who created a profile for the loser everyone loves voting for Sanjia (much apolagies if it was actually him who created it). Of course be sure to look out for the casting special that will undoubtedly be repeated constantly for the next couple week.
What is great about the competition is, for as clinically insane some of the past contestants have been, here we get to see some of the girls that are so out there, even the producers wouldn’t cast them for the fear of what they would do to Flav, other contestant, or themselves. And another thing that is great is that we can vote for our favorite and the top five vote getters will automatically make the show. Currently former Flav castoff Buckwild (apparently Mo’nique’s ceremonial burning of her name didn’t take) has a commanding lead at number one. Although she did state in the casting special that former Flavettes were not eligible, so she may not be welcome back in the house. Here are some of my favorites:
Sergeant Beverly: Currently number two on the vote list, and despite parading around in a wedding dress I am going to go out on a limb and say that is a dude.
CrzyWhiteBootie: Who knew Courtney Love would audition for the show.
Dance: The biggest surprise is between the enclaves of the big booty submissions; there are actually a few serviceable applicants.
For all of you chicks with daddy issues out there, you still have time to upload you own video in hopes to get fondled by Flavor Flav on basic cable as voting closes on September 4th. Or if you live near one of the cities listed (yes Cunucks, even you have a chance to make it on the show) you can go to one of the open casting calls.
Big News of the Week: ABC Is Starting to Get on My Bad Side: So last week I was overjoyed to finally see the final four episodes of the funniest new show of last year, Knights of Prosperity, only for the channel to squeeze an episode of According to Jim in-between two installments. Then ABC quietly pulled the show (for those keeping track for the third time as well as an unannounced time change) due to ratings along with The Nine. Seriously ABC, did you think that putting these two shows back on the air with no announcement after they were both already canceled in the dead of summer and they would all the sudden start pulling in ten million viewers?
ABC is starting to get down to the last straw and really only have one chance left (i.e. not yanking Pushing Daisies before Thanksgiving) before it goes on the list next to Fox as channels that are blocked on my television. Just to show you how long I hold a grudge, the Fox channel has not graced my television since the series finale of Arrested Development. But luckily ABC didn’t pull a Fox and make you get the DVD set to watch the unaired episodes because the final two episodes, one where the gang tries to recruit an actual criminal and the other with a cameo from Ed Burns over at ABC.com. In fact you can watch all thirteen episodes there. So if you have four to five hours of free time, it will make for a good marathon session.
Jim Rome Is Burning: When all the late night host were on vacation this week with repeats, Jim Rome instead pulled a Carson and had guest host fill in for him all week. After seeing Adam Carolla fill in for him he may rethink the guest host thing in the future. The guy may Dan LeBatard seem competent. But luckily for us viewers Carolla was so bad it became entertaining. You’d think a guy who hosted the Man Show would be more comfortable talking sports. Below are two segments from the show although no one uploaded the best segment where he interviewed a baseball player where Carolla obviously ran out of questions out half way threw and just starting the most inane questions:
While I am on the subject of sport, if there is anyone interested in getting beaten like a red-headed step-child participating in my fantasy football league shoot me an e-mail (see sidebar). Anyone is welcome from fanatics to those that just started watching football because of Friday Night Lights.
Also another off note topic for those with blogs of your own, there is a new start up feed reader fav.or.it that sounds promising as it says it will fix one of the big problems with current feed readers in that you will able to comment from the reader. It will be interesting to see if they can actually deliver, but currently they are blog submissions for when they launch, so if you have a blog of your own, you may want to head over there and submit yours to fav.or.it. If your are looking for a feed reader to use until then, I highly recommend Bloglines.
Greek: That was just like three sitcom episodes wrapped into one hour long show. The slumber party was easiest the best of them but I was surprised to learn that it was Lonelygirl15 that sent the sex tape to Casey. Didn’t see that coming. The other two segments were pretty cheesy, Rusty’s thanks to some bad casting of the crazy hot chick. She certainly was able to pull off the hot part but went way overboard on the crazy. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.
Slacker Cats: I got a sense half way threw the episode that you pretty much have be a cat lover, or at the very least know a cat to enjoy this show, neither of which apply to me. There were a couple good laughs though. Download the current season of Slacker Cats on iTunes.
Rescue Me: Just when I started to wonder if I forgot if Tommy’s dad died, he finally made his first appearance of the year. I get a sense that the actor may be having some heath problems as he never appeared with the other actors and was absent from wide shots. Hopefully everything is all well. And hopefully we get more intervention scenes because that ranked pretty high on the best scenes of this season. Then we end with yet another surreal scene with Tommy and Mike on his roof and Tommy jumping over the edge to make a point.
Trapped in the Closet: Wow was that disappointing. The first couple chapters spent too long with Sylvester and Twan, one chapter was barely a minute long, some of the twists were just not interesting or rehashes of past reveals, and seven chapters in and still no midget sighting. There were some glimmers of hope so far with some classic lines and Chuck being in the hospital was an actual shocker so hopefully Kells can turn it around in the last three. And I am going to go out on a limb and say that the pimp in the church is who the midget was scared of ealier. Check out all the aired chapters of Trapped in the Closet at ifc.com.
Pick of the Week: Umm, any suggestions?
And since there really anything to talk about coming up next week, I received some information about the new CW show Reaper, you know, the one show that is taking over the Veronica Mars time slot (strike one). It is also the show that repeatedly hypes being directed by Kevin Smith as if he actually has any involvement past the first episode and some dude behind Grey's Anatomy (strike two). And it seems like I hear or see something new about the show it makes me less interested like when they swapped out the token hot chick for the chick from Heroes which was a total downgrade (and strike three). And from the five minute promo they sent along I am less intrigued as the show looks like it has not decided if it wants to rip off Ghostbusters or Army of Darkness more (but fails to do either very well). But I guess I should hold off final judgement until I see the whole thing in its entirety (that is not to assume I will even bother watching it though).
REAPER
Day and time: Tuesdays, 9:00-10:00 p.m. ET
Network debut: September 25, 2007
Format: Blending suspense and humor, “Reaper” follows Sam, a slacker whose world turns upside down on his 21st birthday when he learns that his parents sold his soul to the devil before he was born. Now, charged by the devil himself to be Hell’s bounty hunter, Sam, with the aid of his goofball friends, must track down evil-doers and send them back where they belong.
Cast: Bret Harrison as Sam Oliver Tyler Labine as Bert “Sock” Wysocki Ray Wise as the Devil Missy Peregrym as Andi Rick Gonzalez as Ben Valarie Rae Miller as Josie Donavon Stinson as Ted Andrew Airlie as Mr. Oliver Executive Producers: Michelle Fazekas, Tara Butters, Mark Gordon, Deb Spera and Tom Spezialy
- 50 Cent: Nothing says I completely sold out more that a 
![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my 
on my 
![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my 
