Saturday, July 28, 2007

They're Gonna Pour Boxes of Bullets into Him


Smokin' Aces

For anyone who has watched reality television in the last couple years and you will see just what some people would do to get their hands on a million dollars. Well imagine if someone put a million dollars on your head, or more specifically your heart. Well Vegas entertainer turned mobster turned snitch Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven) learned in the action packed Smokin' Aces. Well at least he would have known how that felt if he wasn’t self-quarantined in a penthouse in Tahoe with more than enough women, drugs, and bodyguards which includes Common.

Starting out just as clueless as Israel are the Feds (Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta) that are assigned to bring in the mobster in so he can testify against his former cohorts. It isn’t until they get to the hotel that the million dollar mark on Israel has brought out a wide array of hired assassins that have descended on the town hoping to collect the heart of the rat before he is able to tell is story. And what an array of hoodlums they are including a female duo (Alicia Keys, Taraji P. Henson) who come complete with the biggest gun despite being the smallest physically. Then there is a master of disguise that can transform himself into almost anyone and how he does it extremely creepy. Even creepier is the torture expert played by Nestor Carbonell who has a disturbing run-in with Lost co-star Matthew Fox in a wig as bad as the one from his mullet flashbacks.

But the grizzliest of the mercenaries are the Tremor Brothers, born of the same mother but all have different dads and even though there are numerous great elevator scenes throughout the movie, their exit out of it ranks the highest as they sport some unconventional weapons for assassins. The neo-Nazi brother also have a run in with a trio of bail bondsman (Ben Affleck, Peter Berg, Martin Henderson) who are hired by a lawyer (Jason Bateman) who like to wear things that most men don’t to retrieve the mob boss from skipping bail.

The action comes quick and frequently with just a few a few soft spots like when the grandmother and her little too excited grandson show up. And you couldn’t ask for much better cast than this, you know it is great when Piven is the weak link (he goes overboard a couple times). The big surprise is Keys who more than pulls off the female assassin role (although I’d still rather her stick to music) and Affleck who is much more palatable as a bit player than the leading man role he undeservingly gotten lately. And for a few laughs, check out the bloppers on the DVD to see just how bad of a pool player Affleck is.

Smokin' Aces gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.




Friday, July 27, 2007

First Impressions: I Hate My 30's


Two decades ago there was a show called Thirtysomething that followed a bunch of couples as they built and raised their families. But a lot has changed in those twenty years since as more and more people or waiting well into their thirties to settle down and start a family. Seeing that trend, the network that brought you Flavor of Love, Hogan Knows Best and I Love the (Insert Decade) is getting into the scripted business (well that’s not to say Scott Baio Is 45… and Single isn’t completely scripted, but anyways) with I Hate My 30’s.

Now network television has aired some extremely unfunny sitcoms in recent years like Emily’s Reasons Why Not, Four Kings, the upcoming Cavemen and Two and a Half Men, but none of them are as bad as I Hate My 30’s. The show centers on an office where everyone just happens to be in their early thirties and single aside from your token punk-ish twenty-something secretary and for some reason there is also a friend of what I think is the mail boy who for some reason pops up. And the narrator is named Dr. Rod (no, seriously, that is what they call him) who works at a coffee shop that is sadly more Starbucks than Central Perk.

It is doubtful that you will recognize any of the actors, which tells you something about the quality of acting considering they are playing thirty yet this is their first big gig, aside from the vain token hot chick in the office played by Jill Ritchie, who has an older brother named Bob (you may know him better as Kid Rock) and you may actually remember her from her stint as the Bluth’s publish on Arrested Development. But the first episode centers on Megahn Perry, who you may or may not remember from her one episode guest spot on Sabrina the Teenage Witch as her co-worker plan her thirtieth birthday party and hilarity doesn’t ensue.

Verdict: This show sucks massively. In fact, if you are in your thirties you may want to consider suing for defamation of character. If for some reason you still want to watch the show, I Hate My 30’s airs Thursday at 10:30 on VH1 and you can download it on iTunes (where you can get the first episode for free).

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Old Folks Talking 'bout Back in My Day


Today I had planned to give a preview of I Hate My 30’s (which debuts tonight at 10:30 on VH1 or download it for free on iTunes), but we interrupted the regularly sheculed post for this very important video that you must watch:




Kanye West has been known for making multiple videos for the same song, this time he commissioned comedian Zach Galifianakis to make another video for the first single Can’t Tell Me Nothing from the upcoming album Graduation. And how can you better fully visualize a rap video than to film at Galifianakis’ North Carolina farm. I’m not sure why no one has utilized this idea since “Weird Al” Yankovic combined the two for Amish Paradise (and the up-close profile view with his buddy looks like the original Gangstas Paradise). And if Zach doing farm work wasn’t enough, the best part is the cloggers in the blue dresses. Of course this isn’t Galifianakis’ first foray into lip-syncing as he popped up in Fiona Apple’s Not About Love (so for those keeping track at home, Kanye has stolen Fiona’s producer and video director, she may want to keep a close eye on her hairdresser) which landed at number five on my list of the Best Videos of 2006 which I added below as well as Amish Paradise because, well I can:









Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Discover Channel: Press Releases


A couple weeks ago I posted a press release about Shark Week on The Discovery Channel (see here, near the bottom) which starts up next week, goiung from July 29 to August 4. Below is one of the pictures from the event:




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Also coming soon to The Discovery Channel is the return of Meerkat Manor, here's a press release:


ANIMAL PLANET’S MEERKAT MANOR RETURNS AUGUST 10; WILL FLOWER STAY IN POWER, WILL MOZART LAND HER MAN AND WILL CARLOS’ SLEAZY ANTICS GET HIM IN TROUBLE...AGAIN?


-- Families of Meerkats Return Friday, August 10, for a Sizzling New Season of Love, Lust, Treachery and Drama as Colorful Characters of the Kalahari Fight for Survival in the Desert --

When we last left off…
It wasn’t too long ago that the Whiskers meerkat family was embroiled in a fierce battle against their biggest rivals, the Commandos. Last we saw the Whiskers, Mozart’s pups had been killed by the Commandos during a burrow raid, and the Whiskers were facing a long harsh winter.

Which brings us to the present-day Kalahari Desert…
Now, kicked out of their home, Flower, the matriarch of the Whiskers clan, must lead her brood through a perilous journey to mark and settle into their new manor, survive the weather and stave off the threat of predation. The Whiskers must face new rivalry posed by their neighbors from hell, the Zappa gang, and Flower is determined to lead her brood to victory no matter what it takes! And, the plot thickens when the fighting persists within the Whiskers’ own inner circle. Ever the dysfunctional family, the Whiskers find themselves involved in confrontation, control, love affairs and more drama than ever! With daughters sleeping around and sisters fighting over the same main man, it’s no wonder that it’s a slippery slope surviving desert life. Fans will see who lives, who dies and which ‘kat winds up as top dog.

2-2-2
Each Friday night during the sizzling 13-episode season of MEERKAT MANOR, pop in for fur pulling, conflict, romantic tension and cut-throat competition. The Whiskers soap opera unfolds Fridays at 8:30 PM ET/PT beginning August 10. For a sneak peek of the premiere episode, viewers can virtually visit the meerkats online at http://animal.discovery.com/ for one full week beginning August 3.

About the ‘Kats…
Standing tall at on only one foot high, the meerkat is a small member of the mongoose family that thrives in one of the driest places on Earth – the Kalahari Desert. On the surface, the meerkats seem like adorable creatures, but do their cute façades mask their true colors? These highly social creatures are precocious and tough enough to send a cape cobra slinking into a hole.

About Meerkat Manor…
MEERKAT MANOR is produced for Animal Planet International by Oxford Scientific Films (OSF). Caroline Hawkins is the executive producer for OSF. Mick Kaczorowski is the executive producer for Animal Planet U.S.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I Know U Hear Me Like a Whisper in Ur Ear


Planet Earth - Prince

Many artists like to say it is all about the music all the while charging three digest to their concerts and licensing their music for even the most inane products. Then there is Prince who, ever since ending his long time battle with label Warner Bros, has been the most progressive artist in getting his music out including giving copies of his latest albums out to anyone who buys a ticket to his concerts, which are reasonably priced when his contemporaries are charging obscene prices. His latest attempt to get his music out came when he struck a deal with British paper The Mail who attacked Prince’s latest album, Planet Earth, to one of its editions last week.

Naturally Columbia Records, who is handling the world wide distribution of the album wasn’t too thrilled and decided not to release the album in England. Not like Prince cares because all he wants is for people to hear the music. And ever since changing his name back from an unpronounceable symbol, there has been some great music including the grove of Musicology, the funk of Black Sweat, and even his contribution to the Happy Feet Soundtrack was pretty catchy.

And that is what makes Planet Earth so disappointing. Certainly other artist would like to produce an album this good a year away from their thirtieth anniversary in music, but considering his recent work, this album falls flat. And that is even with the Purple One bring back past collaborators Shelia E., a few members from the New Power Generation, and Wendy and Lisa (no word on if Diamond and/or Pearl will show up in a video from the album). Although Planet Earth is still better than his nineties, symbol era.

The album opens and closes with Prince’s thoughts on current hop button topics including the fragile Earth on the title track and war on Resolution that aren’t good enough to convert people to his cause. And that is not because Prince is like many musicians like Sum 41 or Maroon 5 that have jumped on political bandwagon in recent years because everyone else is as Prince has made some of the best socially conscious songs like the classics Sign O the Times and Money Don’t Matter 2Night or the more recent Cinnamon Girl. It just the new songs won’t be added to that list anytime soon.

Prince does some retreading on the album too. The One U Wanna C might as well have been called I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man 2 complete with the line like, “you ain’t no one night stand” but this could end up bringing down the house when performed live. What won’t though is Mr. Goodnight where he bring back half rap, half talk come on’s like Gett Off but they just aren’t as good now that Prince has gone and found religion, so no talk of Almond Joys instead he just wants to watch Chocolat. Yawn.

Again, that is not to say the album is bad, it is just not Prince good. Guitar shows he can still handle the ax and will make you thank someone that Prince hasn’t found someone he loves more than his guitar yet, though still not as blistering as anything from Purple Rain, or his solo from While My Guitar Gently Weeps from the year he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Somewhere Here on Earth has a cool jazzy feel to it thanks to some well placed trumpet and would be best played in a smoky club. Hopefully Planet Earth is just a test run for something classic that Prince will unveil for his thirtieth anniversary next year.

Song to Download - Guitar

Planet Earth gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.



Sunday, July 22, 2007

First Impressions: Scott Baio Is 45... and Single


After the conclusion of the first season of The Osbornes I have avoided the follow around has beens on their day to day lives at all cost. Yet seeing the commercial for Scott Baio is 45… and Single that VH1 put into regular rotation for what seems for over a month made the show seem disturbingly entertaining. So with my tail between my legs I decided to check it out against my best judgment. The show is exactly what you would expect from the ads with a very out of touch, narcissistic, has been who gets a life coach to help him figure out why he has commitment issues.

The first episode is an hour long mostly because it takes a while for Chachi to list all his famous conquests which he is happy to repeat a couple times to anyone and everyone. Of course, even though his life coach is sending him to see past girlfriends, don’t expect him to visit any of the ones that still can get acting jobs. So instead we get Charles visiting former Happy Days co-star Joanie who will apparently be followed by in future weeks by a laundry list of chicks that posed naked in different magazines. Oh, and Nicole Eggert.

Despite all that, the show is almost entertaining in an it is totally scripted and the scenes are staged kind of way. C’mon, the cameras just happen to be inside when Bob Loblaw shows up. But my favorite “reality” moment is when his agent wants to have a private conversation yet there is still sound when they talk as the camerman shoots threw the blinds The Office style. And this was after his coincidental run in with Clint Howard. I guess Richie was too busy. Then there is Baio’s Entourage (and yes I capitalized that for a reason) which just so happens to include Kevin Arnold’s older brother. What, you couldn’t get Willie Aames? Well at least he got in a call to Fonzie.

Verdict: Luckily now that all of Chachi’s name dropping is out of the way, the show gets cut down to the more digestible half an hour. Even then I’m not sure if I could stomach a whole season, but I have to at least stick around until the Eggert appearance as she was one of my earliest crushes. Scott Baio s 45… and Single airs Sundays at 10:30 on VH1 and, since it is VH1, will most likely be repeated constantly throughout the week. You can also download the first episode for free on iTunes.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXVIII


Before I talk about the past week of television I have a favor to ask you, my readers. To better understand you my audience, I have wanted to create a survey so I can make the 9th Green a better experience for all. As luck would have it, this past week Mike from Quibblo.com sent me an e-mail about his site that allows you to create surveys, polls, and quizzes. So I created a survey, The 9th Green Readers Poll, and if you subscribe to this blog or just stop by a couple times a month, please take a minute or two to fill it out and thanks to Mike for the heads up on his site and to anyone who takes the survey.

Big News of the Week: The Emmy Nominations Are Announced: Yawn.

Greek: The good news on the second episode, there was nothing as boring as the second half of the premiere. The bad news: there was nothing as interesting as the first half of last week. But I’ll continue to watch if only the sorority president is what I like to refer to as moderately attractive. Plus Casey and her new Little Sis trying to out Mean Girls each other could prove to be highly entertaining. And does anyone want to take the over/under on when it comes out that Calvin is a gay homosexual? I’ll set the line at half way through the first season. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Pirate Master: Leave it to Pirate Master to come up with a cool twist, bringing back the Ghost Pirates, only to have it completely ruined. C’mon, you have the chance to avenge being cut adrift and you let the scientist/exotic dancer lose the key. With the amount of Alpha Males on the team, how do you let him handle the key at all? So instead of a major shake up we get yet another week of the creepy dreadlocked dude and his cronies leading. One would expect something major happening next week because if not they will have more people with black spots at pirate court then people voting, but this is Pirate Master so expect them to do the wrong thing.

Rescue Me: I am beginning to think the show has hit the wall this season. Most of the storylines have fallen flat this year with the most entertaining with the fraud ended abruptly. Maybe the second wind is coming when the new Probie the new Shawn enters the house whose no grunt work clause with undoubtedly cause friction with Tommy and certainly Old Shawn won’t be too happy. And as much as I rather still have the old chief, the new chief definitely had an entertain introduction, should be interesting to see how his dinner goes.

Lil’ Bush: Finally something funny on this show when Satan says they write all the music for the American Karaokers. Although you have to wonder why all the cartoons on Comedy Central portray the Dark Lord as a gay dude. Download the current season of Lil’ Bush on iTunes.

World Series of Pop Culture: I seem people talk ad nausea about this show and I left some comments showing my feeling for the show so I am going to talk about what I think of the show here and that will be the last time I talk of this show (at least until next year). I do not watch it because the World Series of Pop Culture is a complete and utter sham because they did not invite me to participate because I could totally win that tournament on my own. In the very few times I have happened upon the show I have yet not gotten a question wrong before inevitably switching the channel out of frustration of how much I would destroy the current contestants. Although I will concede that the one tiebreaker I saw - something like there have been ten winners of the Best Supporting Actors in the past fifteen years, name them - which was insanely hard, but it is not like I would ever have the need for a tiebreaker anyways. So VH1, if you want that show to have any once of credibility, be sure to invite me next year.

Pick of the Week: I Hate My 30’s, Thursday, 10:30, VH1: Ever since unrolled I Love the 80’s I have been clamoring for them to do an I Hate the 80’s version. So I was excited to hear the start of I Hate the 30’s so I could hear Hal Sparks and the dude from Ed rip apart those annoying Flappers and wax poetic about The Great Depression. Well that was until I realized it is not I Hate the 30’s but instead I Hate My 30’s, a scripted show. Color me less excited. If you cannot wait until Thursday you can download the first episode for free on iTunes.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Record People Are Shady IX


Colbie Caillat free on iTunesWhen scouring the internet for yesterday’s Don’t Download These Videos I planned to show the video for Bubbly by newcomer Colbie Caillat to once again remind you that you can currently download this song for free on iTunes (well as long as the ad to the right still features her) but I couldn’t because, much like all their videos, the Universal Group has chosen the “Embedded Disable by Request.” I have never understood why anyone would utilize that function because it seems like people are saying, “I want you to check this out but please no free publicity.” If you ever check out YouTube’s most viewed videos for the day, if there is a fan loaded videos of the same music video it is always higher than those put up by UMG that don’t let you embed them. Well this is of course before UMG inevitably has YouTube remove the fan uploaded versions.

Of course I’m sure if you were to ask the record executives why they do this they go back to their usual defense is that doing so would hurt record sales. Yeah because I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that decided not to buy a song or record because a very low quality version of the video it is readily available on some dudes MySpace page. What is really bad is that it not at all hard to get around the “Embedded Disable by Request” thing. Granted I just choose not to do so with these music videos because I make a note not to piss off anyone who is litigation happy. So here is my plea to the UMG, please allow your videos to be embedded, not only will this not hurt your record sales; the more visibility of your music videos will undoubtedly increase sales.

Ms. Caillet’s video isn’t the only video recently that I haven’t been able to highlight because of the dreaded “Embedded Disable by Request” thing. High on the list is the video for Ryan Adam’s Halloweenhead that could have become a viral hit with quirky lyrics and old people dancing but lost that chance thanks to the similarly Walk it Out mash-up the floated around the web last week. UMG, you could have had that buzz with Halloweenhead, which came out earlier, but no on saw because people couldn’t be spread around the web because we couldn’t embed it.

Then there is the new Katharine McPhee song Love Story, which I declared the best song from her otherwise lackluster album. Again here is another song that has gotten zero buzz because UMG won’t let use feature it on out blogs. Granted I wanted to show this video so I could talk about how the further into obscurity McPhee falls, the less cloths she wear. Unfortunately she isn’t attractive enough to make the whole sex sells thing to work. Case in point, she is relegated to the cover of the third rate Men’s magazine Stuff the same month the sometimes moderately attractive Hilary Duff gets the cover of Maxim.

So for those of you that aren’t too lazy to click links here are the previously mentioned videos on YouTube that I am not allowed to embed:

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat (or download the Bubbly video on iTunes)

Halloweenhead (NSFW) - Ryan Adams (or download the Halloweenhead video on iTunes)

Love Story - Katharine McPhee (or download the Love Story video on iTunes)


On a completely unrelated not, to better understand you my audience, I have wanted to create a survey so I can make the 9th Green a better experience for all. As luck would have it, this past week Mike from Quibblo.com sent me an e-mail about his site that allows you to create surveys, polls, and quizzes. So I created a survey, The 9th Green Readers Poll, and if you subscribe to this blog or just stop by a couple times a month, please take a minute or two to fill it out and thanks to Mike for the heads up on his site.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Don't Download These Videos vol. XXIV


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


The Underdog - Spoon



This song from Spoon is quite possibly my favorite song of the moment. And the video is so inane with its gratuitous mariachi band cameo and surprise ending it is worth watching again.


Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol



I believe this is the fourth video Snow Patrol has released in the past months and almost made a video of all the songs from their latest album. Yet for some reason the one single they haven’t released was my favorite from the disk, Make This Go On Forever. Oh well. Of course maybe they are filming it as I type this.


Rehab - Amy Winehouse featuring Jay-Z



This isn’t the official video for the remix of the Amy Winehouse instant classic as you can tell from the obvious video clips of Jay-Z’s old videos and some sincing problems during Amy’s part but I wanted to highlight it just show you reason number 14 why Jat should have stayed retired. Seriously Hova, “I’m gonna OD until I’m at peace like Anna Nicole,” that makes your verse on Rihanna’s song sound like Blueprint era you.


Garbage - Tell Me Where it Hurts



Garbage releases their greatest hits package next week and like many bands before them they felt obligated to throw on new tracks that really don’t deserve the moniker “Greatest.” The only new song that I can think of that actually deserved to be on a Greatest Hits album would be Mary Jane’s Last Dance. But anyways. Back to the video, what’s sad that, even if it wasn’t their intention here, but whenever anyone shoots anything with a night vision camera, everyone will instantly start thinking of Paris Hilton (who I here is working on a new album, sorry kids with cancer she promised to help when she was done with jail, you will have to wait). And even if the song doesn’t really deserve to be on a greatest hits package, this song is still catchy.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

You Make Me Smile Please Stay for a While Now


Coco - Colbie Caillat

Certainly with temperatures still going up and still plenty of time to hit the beach, local pool, or just on the top of your roof before your summer vacation ends to put some extra color on you body. Some people pass the time working on their tan with the latest trash novel but if you are like me you need some tunes to pass the time, preferable classic beach sounds from the catalog of Jack Johnson. For those who are looking to work something new into their rotation while waiting for a new disk from the surf folk king here is a suggestion, Colbie Caillat.

Born overlooking the Pacific, the twenty-one year old sounds like something best suited for a bonfire along the beach with her breezy acoustic songs with that invite you to sing a long. The best example of from her first album Coco is the infectious debut single Bubbly, which could get even the most annoyingly depressed emo dude to sing along after a couple listens. And if anyone has a karaoke party on the beach, this song should be a prerequisite.

Coco opens with Oxygen, a quintessential song about longing for that special person while trying to figure out how to tell them Colbie sing with just enough power in her voice you will be hoping everything works out and maybe hope that you are who she is singing about. Then there is One Fine Wire which bounces along and if you happen to out walking when this song comes on you may start bouncing like you were on a fine wire.

Caillat come from a decent pedigree, her father Ken co-produced the classic Fleetwood Mac album Rumors as well as the follow-up, Tusk. Though she was more than happy to take her dad’s advice, she balked at the chance to have her father recruit an all star band to help record with. Instead she took a more organic approach leading to an album that isn’t bogged down from overproduction. Caillat even built up her fan base organically, topping MySpace’s top unsigned artist list for a couple months. Coco does suffer a little bit if you are listening to it on repeat which may lead you to hitting the next button on some of the songs in the middle that start feeling repetitive like Realize with lyrics like “If you just realize, what I just realized” but Coco should be a decent soundtrack to the rest of your summer and maybe Caillet will continue to fill your warmer months for years to come.

Song to Download - Bubbly

Coco gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Want to download Bubbly for free? The song is currently iTunes Free Single of the Week so as long as the banner below features Colbie, click on it to get the song for free. In fact you have my money back guarantee that you will love the song. If you like it, while you are in the iTunes story you can buy the whole album at the discounted price of $7.99, or if you prefer CD’s, Amazon is currently selling it for the same price (see below).

Colbie Caillat free on iTunes



Monday, July 16, 2007

We on Award Tour: 2007 ESPY Awards


2007 ESPYsSurprisingly ESPN’s ESPY Awards have quickly become the most entertaining award show on the circuit these days. Sure there are some major flaws including that of the fans voting which has lead to a football dominated show thanks to the NFL being the most popular league, even though some of the times it doesn’t actually deserve the awards. And I was disappointed this year that they didn’t do their parade of the best of their respective sports this year like they did in the past. But that is made up for thanks to the best montage package each year as well as the emotional high because of the yearly Arthur Ashe Award for Courage segment. Here are some thoughts on this year’s festivities:

- Another glaring problem with the ESPY’s is that it is continually scheduled behind a baseball game leading the show to start late every year, granted the ten minutes this year was a lot better than the over a half an hour last year. And I also totally forgot the pre-show because, again, they relegated it to ESPN2. Oh well.

- The show starts off with shots of athletes in attendance as well as a gratuitous Kate Walsh sighting. Well at least Disney, who owns both ESPN and ABC, didn’t go overboard this year with its blatant synergy plugs with her being the only one this year.

No other reason to show this picture than it is Maria Sharapova in a leather outfit- It is never a good sign how well your monologue is going when a reaction shot of Shaq not laughing at a Shaq and the Beanstalk joke gets a bigger laugh than any of your jokes. When will people realize that Adam Corolla was the genious behind The Man Show, not Jimmy Kimmel? Although TI sitting next to TO makes the least famous Jackson way be the most underappreciated joke since Uma/Oprah.

- At first I thought the whole shower sketch was just a ploy to see Danica Patrick wet but Frank Tarkanian with the towel had me on the floor. Yeah they went a long way for that joke but it was definitely worth it.

- Can we please stop pretending that Carmen Electra is hot? Her and all the chicks with clown boobs on the wrong side of thirty-five just need to go away sooner than later.

- LeBrentourage: good idea, bad execution. Too bad they couldn’t do a live action version, which would have been a lot more entertaining. But obviously there would been too many scheduling conflicts.

Kay Yow gets the very first Jimmy V Award- We get our very first Jimmy V Perseverance Award this year. Great, another segment that will make me bawl like a twelve year old girl each year. And the inaugural recipient, NC State basketball coach Kay Yow, hit a little too close to home as she battle breast cancer for the third time.

- Ironic that they show Shawn Merriman, who got an invite to the show even though he got hit with a suspension this year for using a performance enhancing drugs, during Best Record Breaker considering Big Head Barry will most likely be up for the award next year.

Taryne Mowett and the chick that couldn't pronounce her name- I had a little laugh when they chose Heartbreaker to play during Best Female Athlete. That is slightly sexist. Speaking of sexist, the award goes to the hottest chick in the field (full disclosure: I think I voted for Taryne Mowett for that very reason). Then Kate Walsh embarrasses herself by not even being able to pronounce the winner’s name even though they just said her name just seconds before segment. Seriously, they gave this girl her own show?


The Aurthur Ashe Winners- Then there was the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage this year handed out to Trevor Ringland and Dave Cullen, a Catholic and Protestant both from Northern Ireland who are both active in Peace Players, an organization devoted to bridge social divides through sport. For more on the program or to donote, check out their website.

- Not the best idea to follow the Arthur Ashe Award with LeBron James materialism obsessed song set to Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative.

- Ugg, another Dane Cook sighting. It is like the more exposure he gets, the less funny he becomes.

- Did they seriously announce Franco as the dude from The Bronx Is Burning? Did anyone actually watch that? Certainly more people know him as the dude from Rescue Me.

- Great moment backstage with Kevin Durant backstage talking about his ESPY for Best College Athlete with, out of nowhere, Greg Oden jumps into frame to brag about getting second. Too band Grampa Oden will be stuck in the Pacific Northwest because this may be the last time we see him.

- Who invited Kelly Clarkson? Usually they pair up the athletes with actors so there is at least someone up there that can read teleprompters (Kate Walsh not withstanding). But it was funny when the random dude who turns left for a living opened up the card and tilted towards Kelly to read, only to announce the winner himself.

- LaDainian Tomlinson wins Best Male Athlete? Yeah I would vote for him as the Best Fantasy Player but not Best Male Athlete. Rodger Federer was robbed.

- The end musical number was a little cluttered with Macy Grey, the Dap Kings, Rocco DuLucia, and Common all taking turns. But it is not like the night is about music.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Lyrics Quiz: Live Earth


Two years ago today was the very first Lyrics Quiz I ever had here at the 9th Green. Actually it was two years and five days ago as the first quiz took place on the tenth before it moved to its regular spot on the fifteenth of each month. That very first quiz was taken from artist that performed during the Live 8 concerts and it is only apropos that on the anniversary of the Lyrics Quiz I would dedicate this month to another charity event, Live Earth. Certainly we can argue whether these concerts did any good but one thing I’m sure we can all agree on is that there was plenty of great music. So as customary of any Lyrics Quiz, please post your guesses, title and artist, in the comment section (or e-mail me) and if you are correct I will unbold the lyric and give you credit. Bonus points to anyone who guesses to the artist(s) who preformed the song at Live Earth if not done by the original artist. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the Lyrics Quiz:

Hints:
17. This artist said at Live Earth that he was no longer waiting for change.
21. This band touch on global warning with their latest album's cover art.

1. People are lonely and only animals with too many tools that can build all the junk that we sell sometimes it makes you want to yell. (The Horizon Has Been Defeated - Jack Johnson; guessed by Slaygal1981)
2. Now I’m towing my car, there’s a hole in the roof. My possessions are causing me suspicion but there’s no proof. (Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House; guessed by Monique)
3. There’s no alibi ‘cause I’ve drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies. (What I've Done - Linkin Park; guessed by Slaygal1981)
4. We must engage and rearrange and turn this planet back to one. (Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz; guessed by Monique)
5. There’s too many men, too many people making too many problems, and not much love to go round. (Land of Confusion - Genesis; guessed by Monique)
6. Forget what we're told before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life. (Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol; guessed by Slaygal1981)
7. Sunday all the lights of London shining, sky is fading red to blue. (Babylon - David Gray; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. And so it is, just like you said it should be. We’ll both forget the breeze. Most of the time. (The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice; guessed by Slaygal1981)
9. This ain’t a movie no. No fairy tale conclusion ya’ll. It gets more confusing everyday. (Ordinary People - John Legend; guessed by Slaygal1981)
10. Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed. Here today, forgot tomorrow. (Ordinary World - Duran Duran; guessed by Slaygal1981)
11. To get there quick, by street but not the freeway, turn that trick to make a little leeway. (By the Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers; guessed by Slaygal1981)
12. Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely. Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside. (Put Your Records On - Corrine Bailey Rae; guessed by Slaygal1981)
13. Trust I seek and I find in you every day for us something new. Open mind for a different view. (Nothing Else Matters - Metalica; guessed by Slaygal1981)
14. The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’. (Big Bottom - Spinal Tap; guessed by Slaygal1981)
15. Too sweet to be sour too nice to be mean. On the tough guy style I'm not too keen. To try to change the world I will plot and scheme. (Intergalatic - Beastie Boys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
16. I’m a new day rising. I’m a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight. (Times Like These - Foo Fighters; guessed by Slaygal1981)
17. Now we see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it.
18. Some people live for the fortune. Some people live just for the fame. Some people live for the power, yeah. Some people live just to play the game. (If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
19. I live with my justice and I live with my greedy need. I live with no mercy and I live with my frenzied feeding. I live with my hatred and I live with my jealousy. I live with the notion that I don’t need anyone but me. (Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. To the hustlers, killers, murderers, drug dealers even the strippers. To the victims of Welfare for we living in hell here. (Jesus Walks - Kanye West; guessed by Slaygal1981)
21. And what do you want? I want to change. And what have you got, when you feel the same?
22. Walked out this morning, don’t believe what I saw. A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore. (Message in a Bottle - The Police; guessed by Monique)
23. I see skies of blue and clouds of white. (What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong; Bonus - Paulo Nutini; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. Where did all the blue skies go? Poison is the wind that blows from the north and south and east. (Mercy, Mercy Me (The Ecology) - Marvin Gaye; Bonus - Alicia Keys; Corrine Bailey Rae and John Legend; guessed by Slaygal1981)
25. War, children, it's just a shot away. (Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones; Bonus - Keith Urban and Alicia Keys; guessed by Slaygal1981)


There have been over 500 different lyrics and more than 80 different participants in the past two year. And after twenty-four months, here is the leader board in term of all-time points (and of course check out the Winners List on the side board).

Slaygal1981 - 67
Angie - 51
Dara - 44
Tony - 36
Sha Shinizzle - 32

So be sure to be back every fifteenth of the month (I suggest subscribing to my feed) and maybe you will be up there by the third anniversary.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXVII


Pirate Master: Well thanks to CBS forgetting to mention that they were moving the show to a different night and time I missed it this week but luckily I was able to catch this week’s episode on their Innertube broadband channel. Actually after viewing the episode luckily might not be the right work. This episode highlighted another major flaw in that both crews have the exact path to the treasure so whoever is behind really doesn’t even need to read the clue, they just have to follow the leader much like the black crew did this week when they couldn’t decipher the clue and just followed the red crew giving them a not well deserved win in the end. But at least we got our first whispers of mutiny this week even though there were no mutiny votes cast. If the pirates had any sense they would have offered to nominate Jupiter to captainship if she mutinied with them.

Rescue Me: After a rare weak episode two weeks ago the show comes back with strange one. Not strange: bad, but not necessarily strange: good. The strangest of the episode was the weekly house call where the crew just wandered around an office building and really I was just as lost during this scene as the rest of the crew. One scene that wasn’t at all confusing was the hilarious shrink scene where the dude just got up and called his buddy thinking this was a prank.

Lil’ Bush: I hope the creators and everyone involved in this show have fun getting audited for the scene this past week where George and his crew do their best Red Hot Chili Peppers impressions wearing nothing but socks. Download this and previous episodes on iTunes.

Check out my First Impressions of Greek or download the first episode for free on iTunes (and even though it does not start until tomorrow you can also download the first episode of Scott Baio is 45... and Single for free now).

Promo of the Week: As I have mentioned many times before I have been less than impressed with this year’s crops of new shows aside from Pushing Daisies. Then during NBC’s Live Earth telecast last week they showed a promo for a new show, Chuck and there is absolutely no way you are going to get me to watch this crap. Fast forward to 55 seconds (or 2:30 if it is counting down) to see why:



For years whenever I saw a hot chick I would routine say to a friend, “Stop the press, who is that?” (although in recent years I have worked in “she’s walking around like some brand new chicken about to be plucked” into my rotation) and if someone ever said that to me I would instinctively respond “Vicky Vail” and it is hurtful that they would mock me like this on network television. Okay, truth be told there is one way they can get me to watch this show and that is the chick the nerds are refereeing to whom is what I like to refer to as uber-hot. And having Jayne from Firefly doesn’t hurt. Oh and for you youngin’ who doesn’t understand this whole conversation, check out one of the greatest movie tie-in videos of all-time:




Pick of the Week: ESPY Awards, Tomorrow (Sunday), 9:00 ESPN: Sure the show already happened and if you wanted you could check out the results somewhere on the internet but if there were a reason to turn in it would be LeBron James channeling Bobby Brown. And unlike last year, hopefully the show actually starts on time instead of being delayed because the baseball game on before it goes into extra innings.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just a Rat in a Cage


Zeitgeist - Smashing Pumpkins

During the mid-nineties, I was a latecomer to the Smashing Pumpkin; ironically this was just around the time when their fan base started to dwindle. For me, listening to the instrumental title track that opened up Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness that really keyed me into the musicianship of the band. Then shortly after I started digging the band, their drummer Jimmy Chamberlain got booted from the band after his drug bust leading the into a more electronic sound featuring computerized drum loops as the group soldiered on as a trio. Then after a couple more line up changes, including the return of Chamberlain, the group disbanded back in 2000.

After another band (Zwan) and a solo album failed to make a dent in the music scene, Billy Corgan must have realized that the only way he could get people to listen to his music would be to bring back his biggest brand name, the Smashing Pumpkins. Yeah, only Chamberlain returns to the newest line up for the group, but the Pumpkins have always been primarily Corgan’s music and vision so it is hard to complain that he brought in two new musicians who just fill the role of touring band anyways.

Zeitgeist is Corgan’s attempt to regain his rock and roll God moniker he took on in the mid nineties from all the cheap Pumpkins rip-offs of today that wear way too much eyeliner and have littered the Fuse playlist the last couple. And in his attempt to rock so hard it almost becomes self parody (see the guitar at the end of Tarantula), Billy didn’t have any time to write any of his trademark mellow songs so don’t expect any Mayonnaise, Today, or 1979 on Zeitgeist. Unfortunately despite turning the songs up to almost eleven, he fails to come up with anything as intense as Bullet with Butterfly Wings and also has an adverse effect as the guitars drown out any resemblance to a melody, what made the earlier rockers truly great.

As with the missing mellow songs, Billy’s laments of childhood growing up in the Midwest seem to be missing. So instead of whining how he used to be a little boy, Corgan apparently has been watching a little too much of a twenty-four hour news channel just from looking as some of the song names such as Doomsday Clock, For God and Country, and the near ten minute United States where he goes on and on about some sort of revolution. Even the cover evokes the hot button topic of global warning (the band recently played Live Earth) with Lady Liberty up to her waist in the Atlantic Ocean.

It has been over a decade since Billy Corgan declared that despite all his rage that he still is just a rat in a cage and that sentiment doesn’t ring truer than it does on this album. But he can at least rest in the solace that he can still do it better than all the pretentious bands that tried to fill the void in the Smashing Pumpkins’ absent.

Song to Download - Doomsday Clock

Zeitgeist gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.



Thursday, July 12, 2007

Technical Difficulties or 799


Sorry for the lack of posts as my Internet went out sometime yesterday and I just got back online just a couple minutes ago. Nothing like going offline for a couple days to see just how addicted to the Internet with over two hundred posts on Bloglines, over seven hours of postcasts and an outrageous number of e-mail (okay if I discount the spam that's under ten most likely). Apparently I have an extra hour to go through all this stuff because I tuned into Pirate Master tonight only to see a bunch of random people sitting around doing nothing. Um, pass. Was I not paying attention or did CBS actually bothering to mention they were moving the show to Tuesday? Oh well.

Oh, and this is post 799 so the next post will be 800. Hooray me.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Live Earth Redux


There were a bunch of great performances at Live Earth but there is one that I have been listening to on repeat the last couple days and that is the new song that Alicia Keys unveiled during her set, That’s the Thing about Love. Unfortunately it looks like we will have to wait until late October until we can hear a more polished studio version when her new album is scheduled to drop, until then here is the YouTube version of the performance at Live Earth:



It popped up over the weekend that there will be a best of the Live Earth album that will be put out in August which you can preorder on iTunes (if you do so you will get the John Mayer track now, also Metallica’s full set is available separately). Although there is currently no confirmed tracks (aside from Mayer’s) so here is my suggestion of the top twenty songs from the event (links go to YouTube):


1. Gimme Shelter - Keith Urban and Alicia Keys
2. Message in a Bottle - The Police, John Mayer and Kanye West
3. Sabotage - Beastie Boys
4. Big Bottom - Spinal Tap and an Army of Bassists
5. That’s the Thing about Love - Alicia Keys
6. Drummers - SOS All Stars
7. Babylon - David Gray and Damien Rice
8. All My Life - Foo Fighters
9. Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer
10. The Horizon Has Been Defeated - Jack Johnson
11. Bleed it Out - Linkin Park
12. Mercy Mercy Me - Corrine Bailey Rae and John Legend
13. Intergalactic - Beastie Boys
14. By the Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers
15. For the Love of Money/Living for the City, Mercy Mercy Me - Alicia Keys
16. The Blower’s Daughter - Damien Rice and David Gray
17. Bullet with Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins
18. Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira
19. Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
20. Jesus Walks - Kanye West


Agree, disagree, well vote or add your favorites to the Unspun widget below:




Okay, now on to what Live Earth was really about, doing your part to saving the environment. You might think to yourself living a green life is a daunting task, well I am certainly no tree hugging hippie, in fact I am extremely lazy, but I realized that I already do some of the things that they suggested thought Saturday’s festivities. Seriously, if this lazy bum can do these things to help out than certainly you can add these to your daily routine. Even if you don’t care about the environment, do these why I do them, almost all of these suggestion will save you money:

- Change to Energy Efficient Light bulbs - Yeah they cost a little more but I saw a noticeable drop in my electricity bill when I switched just three bulbs. Really you should buy any and all energy efficient products, TV’s, toilets, computers, radios, etc.

- Use Sunlight During the Day - Unless there is a storm brewing, all window drapes are open there isn’t a light on from sun up to dun down

- Change the Thermostat When You Leave - In the summer during turn the air conditioning down a couple degrees, turn heat up in the winter. In the winter, I even do this when I sleep so I can bundle up in a couple more blankets

- Boil Only the Water You Need - I was surprised when this was suggested during the telecast because I though it was a no brainier but apparently people boil more than they need. This is just laziest, and that says a lot considering I been called the laziest person some people have ever met

- Flip Off Your Power Strip - Here is one that I have started after seeing it on Live Earth as I have three big power drains with all its accessories plugged into a power strip (computer, two TV sets). I plugged a VCR into the wall because that is my clock in that room, but everything else is plugged into the strip which I flip off when the stuff isn’t in use. I’m not entirely sure how much energy/money I have saved by doing this, but long if it is something it will be worth the one second it takes to flip it on and off.

Monday, July 09, 2007

First Impressions: Greek


A few years back ABC bought the rights to the FoxFamily cable station and obviously renamed it ABCFamily and started to show programs that are hard pressed to put in the category of family friendly including The Bachelor marathons as well as their most watched original program that started off the series with a naked dude. Not even Fox, the most morally corrupt network out there, pushed the boundaries the term family when they ran the network. Now their latest show looks to put their new slogan, “A new kind of family” to the test.

Greek follows freshman Rusty Cartwright (Jacob Zachar), a Freaks and Geeks extra, as he transverse college and his desire to join a fraternity. This doesn’t go over well with his sister Casey (Spenser Grammer) who is next in line to become her sorority’s president and failed to mention to any of her friends that she had a brother. Not too keen on his hopes to join a frat is his roommate Dale (Clark Duke), a religious southern who comes complete with a Confederate flag yet lacks a thick Jeff Foxworthy accent.

The rest of the cast if full with a bunch of actors you have never heard of including Casey’s current (Jake McDorman) and former (Scott Michael Foster) boyfriends who are in rival fraternities and both have interest in having Rusty and his new found friend and not your token black dude (wait for the end of the episode to see why) Calvin (Paul James) rush their respective frats. Although Lonelygirl15 herself Jessica Rose makes a blink and you’ll miss it cameo and yes Spenser’s dad is named Kelsey but luckily it looks like she takes after her mother more than her dad.

The pilot is a tail of shows, the first half being a witty fun look into college life, part Freaks and Geeks, part Undeclared (although not nearly as good as either) with plenty of laughs, the best being at the last house the potential pledges go to. The second half is bogged down with too much drama that gives you the formulaic plot line of should Casey stay with the upper-class douchebag or go back to the low-class douchebag. Um neither please.

Verdict: If the show can iron out the episode so it is evenly spreads out the comedy and drama and Greek will be a nice diversion this summer. Greek airs Mondays at 9:00 on ABCFamily and you can download the episodes after they air on iTunes (you can currently download the pilot for free).

Sunday, July 08, 2007

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXVI


With the holiday in the middle of the week preempting Rescue Me and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip ending last week there really isn’t that much to talk about this week. I guess that is a good think because I just looked at yesterday’s Live Blogging: Live Earth and it looks like I wrote a thesis paper so short today is a good thing. So here are the little thought I have of the past week of television:

Quote of the Week: “Somebody’s gonna get humped.” (Dave Holmes when it was mentioned Akon was about to perform on Live Earth)

Song of the Week: Mercy, Mercy Me (as performed by John Legend and Corrine Bailey Ray as well as Alicia Keys)

Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno III: - This may have been the most boring season yet and there really isn’t much more to say about that except it may be time to bring back Coral. You can download the whole season on iTunes.

Pirate Master: Just mutiny already. It was hinted at it again this week yet not one vote for mutiny. What was really annoying was how Louis said he would never vote for a lady but was torn because he needs Joe Don to give him any chance of winning yet never thought about voting for the creepy deadlock dude.

Promo of the Week: There a few good short films aired throughout Live Earth and below is my favorite, particularly the dating segment.



And in case you were wondering that is Harry Shearer (Spinal Tap), Rip Torn (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story) and Lucy Davis (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip) under the bear suits:

Pick of the Week: Greek, Monday 9:00, ABCFamily: I have already seen this (and you can too as it is free to download the Pilot on iTunes) and it is actually pretty decent although the second half lags a little aside from the scene where Spencer Grammar (who is surprisingly hot considering Kelsey is her dad) plays pool in a tank top. I should have my full first impression up tomorrow but if you decide to check it out before then, keep yourself even more entertained by trying to count the number of Veronica Mars references.