Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!


Victory

As much as I hate the laziness in Hollywood, I resigned that they won’t stop cranking out remakes because they have run out of original ideas long ago (though I still which I had a Hot Tube Time Machine so I could un-see The A-Team trailer). I even occasionally try to help them out with some casting ideas for remakes. Like isn’t it time for a Victory for a new generation? Instead of Allied soccer players betting their freedom against their German, a group of female soldiers get ambushed by the Taliban and have to show that woman are just as capable as them to secure their release. Get Mia Hamm to replace Pele, Queen Latifah to sub info Sylvester Stallone and Angelina Jolie take over for Michael Caine.

Maybe because of the sport depicted, Victory has gotten lost in the discussion of great sports movies of all time. But how can you not love a movie where the allied forces beat those darn dirty Nazis at a sport they love. Sure having a midget like Stallone as a goalie is one of the biggest stretches in sports movie history (it’s like having Carlton Banks starring in the Patrick Ewing story), but the eighties cheese of it more than makes up for it.

Though one of the scenes still makes me squeamish just think about it, where they break the current goalie’s arm just so they could have Sly play in the big game, probably not a scene anyone who is still in single digits in age should watch like I was when I first saw the movie in my youth. But the movie is still worth of being inducted into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Now can we have Victory in Afghanistan ready for the next World Cup in four years?



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