Saturday, November 05, 2011

Best of the Week - 11/5/11


Quote of the Week: So you’re a religious man and a torturer. What are you? Catholic? (Saul, Homeland)

Song of the Week: Living In America – James Brown (How I Met Your Mother)

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Nope, Not Gonna Do It: I refuse to give publicity to anyone who sole purpose to what they do is to gain more publicity. Nope, not gonna do it. And anyone who complains about these sorts of thing, just ignore them, even complaining about them is what they want because all they want is to be talked about. So stop taking about them.

Free Download of the Week: Public Enemy No. 1 – Megadeath (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month for only $5, you can get full albums from Coldplay, Lauryn Hill, Stevie Wonder, and the Footloose Soundtrack (the real one).



New Album Release of the Week: Wish You Were Here - Immersion Box Set - Pink Floyd

New DVD Release of the Week: Alpocalypse-HD (Blu-ray)

Video of the Week: Kristen Bell in her underwear; Emmy Rossum wearing less. If this does not get you to order Showtime, I do not know what will. You have until January 8 when House of Lies premieres and Shameless returns to do so.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Hell on Wheels, Sunday at 10:00 on AMC: This may be the least buzzed about show of the fall because I heard very little about it so far. What I gather it is a period piece that has something to do with the railway and Common is in it. I am always up for a history lesson on television so I will at least give it a chance. Worse case scenerio it is a low rent Deadwood and I can be fine with that.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Around the Tubes - 11/4/11


I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Witch Doctor Will See You Now, Parks and Recreations, Keep a Child Alive with Alicia Keys, The Real L Word, Neverland, The Wild Thornberrys, Mr. Magoo, Impractical Jokers, Archer, and a TV Guide Reader's Poll.

- Is there a better way to get your attention then with a title “3 Kinds of Penis Wine”? Did not think so. Supposedly the cocktail has healing properties and these weird concoctions is exactly what they are looking for on The Witch Doctor Will See You Now which will be airing a new episode four straight nights next week on The National Geographic Channel at 10:00 starting Monday. As for the Three Penis Wine, here is someone actually sampling it:

3 Kinds of Penis Wine


- For those that could not get enough Parks and Recreations last night, nbc.com has five webisodes featuring April and Andy’s roadtrip.

- In honor of World’s Aids Day, Showtime will air Keep a Child Alive with Alicia Keys Thursday December 1 at 9:00. The documentary follows the songstress to Africa during the recent World Cup to see how Aids has affected the country.

- In other Showtime news, the channel recently announced that they have renewed The Real L Word, but for the third season they will be moving to New York City and will be introducing new cast members while also featuring the return of fan favorites. No word yet on an airdate.

- Syfy’s latest miniseries Neverland is just a month away and here is the latest promo:

A Story You Never Knew


- Hitting shelves next week is The Wild Thornberrys: Season Two, Part One as well as Mr. Magoo: The Television Collection, 1960-1977, a 11 disk DVD box set. Plan your Christmas list accordingly.

- Hidden camera enthusiasts will want to mark December 15 on your calendar when Impractical Jokers premieres on TruTV.

- Burt Reynolds enthusiasts will want to look out for new episodes of Archer, returning to FX in January, because the legend will be lending his voice to the animated series naturally playing Burt Reynolds.

- According TV Guide readers, Revenge is the best new show of the fall with Persons of Interest and New Girl right behind. Not surprisingly the already canceled H8R ranked dead last.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Lay Me Down, Let the Only Sound Be the Overflow


Cerimonials - Florence + the Machine

Singers are a dime a dozen these days, just check out all the crappy karaoke shows that litter the networks these day. Very few singers use or can even use their voice like an instrument, and you can count Florence Welsh of Florence + The Machine as one of them. Her voice demands your attention from the first note managing the most controlled screams you will ever hear and turns them into some of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Now Florence and her Machine are back for their sophomore outing Ceremonials which is full with more anthemic songs with easy to chant along with choruses. At the top of this list is the epic What the Water Gave Me which soars from start to finish with Florence’s sweeping vocals backed by a frantic barrage of piano and fuzzed out guitars. Seven Devils is as spooky as the song title would suggest and will haunt you long after the last note has played (though not as haunting as her rendition of Addicted to Love). Lover to Lovers sounds like something Aretha Franklin would have recorded in the eighties, but Florence manages to keep it from going into the cheesy way pop music from that decade can easily go into. Ceremonials end with Leave My Body which sounds like the culmination everything the group was trying to make the album be.

If there is a complaint about the album is maybe Ceremonials is too epic that it almost becomes cumbersome. When you get through the hour long album it feels as if you had been listening to it all day. The album could be one of those that you buy at an MP3 outlet so you can through it on in shuffle to have other artist songs buffer the songs from this set. Ceremonials is also missing an upbeat danceable song along the lines Dog Days Are Over and You Got the Love to break up the monotony of the otherwise stellar tracks. Maybe producer Paul Epworth, who produced half of their debut Lungs (and most notably Adele’s Rolling in the Deep) returned to produce this entire album maybe only good at crafting anthemic tunes which is why all of Ceremonials comes across that way. Though maybe not the best album to listen all the way through, any of these songs would may a great addition to any playlist.

Song to Download – What the Water Gave Me

Ceremonials gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.



Wednesday, November 02, 2011

I Want My Music Television - 11/2/11


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Lonely Boy – The Black Keys



Much like the Funkasauras Rex starring video from their last album, apparently this is not the official music video for the lead single off the new Black Keys album, but it is as equally awesome. I cannot stop watch and may not until El Camino is released December 6. And for those late to the Black Keys music, their second album Thickfreakness is currently on sale for $5 on Amazon MP3.


We All Go Back to Where We Belong – R.E.M.



Sure there is also a Kirsten Dunst version of this R.E.M. video, but since she was already in Savage Garden video, so I will give the John Version some love, whoever he is.


Children – VV Brown featuring Chiddy



Between VV Brown and My Morning Jacket it has been a very entertaining years for children’s choirs. I still cannot decide which one is catchier.


Bonfire – Childish Gambino



So Childish Gambino (aka Troy from Community) wakes up with a noose, in his own woman’s t-shirt. Alrighty. But bonus points for the Toejam and Earl reference.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Bend Through Alleys and Bounce off all the Buildings


Garfield at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

Holidays are about tradition and n two holidays are steeped in more tradition than Thanksgiving and Christmas. For the former, the day always starts off with some with some cinnamon rolls while watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, which is this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Then a trip to a relative for some turkey, football, and cards, not necessarily in that order.

Parades are all about childhood wonderment with floats only as limited as a five year old’s imagination. Every small town has one with the local marching band, fire trucks, and local businesses and politicians who try to endear themselves to adults by bribing their kids (and lefts face it the adults too) with candy. But as really the only national one, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade is much grander and everything is bigger, the marching bands are better, and of course the balloons, from Garfield to the recently introduced Shrek all the way back to the very first balloon Felix the Cat, introduced all the way back in 1927. Look out for Sonic the Hedgehodge in his very first Macy’s Parade later this month.

Sure in recent years the parade went from a who’s who of celebrity appearance to me asking “Who?” through the parade, but it is hard to break tradition. So come the 24th, I will surely wake up, put some cinnamon rolls in the oven, and turn on NBC for its 85th airing of the American tradition. Here’s hoping I actually recognize someone other than Al Roker this year.

Monday, October 31, 2011

9 Shows From the 90's That Need a Reboot


This month saw the return of Beavis & Butt-head along with Pop Up Video after decade long absences and this weekend, Fox announced they were dusting off their sketch comedy show In Living Color not seen on the channel since 1994. I guess we have to thank the resurgence of the show to Antoine Merriweather who is still going strong on The Sing-Off. Now I have had a long standing boycott of Fox and have not watched a non-football program on the show since the series finale of Arrested Development, but if Damon Wayans, David Allen Grier, and Tommy Davidson all return (while Shawn and Marlon do not), I may have to lift the ban. Currently there are two specials planned and if they do well, possibly a full season will also be ordered.

With the return of those three shows it is apparently that Hollywood has run out of properties to exploit from the eighties (sadly Greatest American Hero was overlooked for a reboot) and moved onto the nineties. So I have decided to make a few suggestions from the grunge decade that networks should resurrect.

1. Ren & Stimpy - If Beavis and Butt-Head are back, can these guys be too far behind?

2. My Two Dads – To those that are too young to remember this show, no, My Two Dads was not the first television show to feature a gay couple in its main cast ever, the premise of the show was actually that a woman had sex with two dudes in the span of a week, got pregnant, and died, and since the judge did not determine who was the dad, he awarded custody to both of the potential father. You can even bring Staci Keanan as the judge.

3. Parker Lewis Can't Lose – The show when head to head with the television spin off of Ferris Bueller (starring Jennifer Aniston) in 1990 and ran for sixty more episodes and actually caught the spirit of Ferris Bueller’s Day off more than the spin off did.

4. Get a Life – A before its time gem from the mind of Chris Elliot as a thirty-something who still lives with his parents (played by his actual dad). Now that Chris has a grown daughter (Abby from Saturday Night Live). Why would FX reboot Anger Management with Charlie Sheen when they could possibly reboot Get a Life?

5. Quantum Leap – Sure the period piece shows have crashed and burned this year, but they were lacking one major aspect: time travel. And since he is free, Scott Backula can return and the first episode is his last “leap” then he takes over for Al with a new leaper, say the soon to be unemployed Zach Levi (assuming Timothy Olyphant is not available anytime soon).

6. Out of This World – NBC has been so low in recently years it is hard to believe that not only did they dominate the rating, they even expanded prime time to 7:30 one season. That lasted about as long as The Jay Leno Hour, but it did produce one success, Out of This World. Starring one of my first crushes, Maureen Flannigan, as a half alien / half human who has powers such as stopping time by just touching her fingers together. Quality entertainment this was.

7. Double Dare – Adding to the nineties nostalgia is Teen Nick which is re-airing shows from the decade such as Clarrissa Explains it All, well here is an idea for Nickelodeon, how about bringing back your great game show Double Dare (and / or its companion show Family Double Dare which I would steal a family to appear on). Actually, how about bringing back all your game shows like Guts and Legend of the Hidden Temple?

8. Herman’s Head – The biggest problem The CW faces is that it thinks it’s a real network and tries to compete with the Big Four networks by scheduling like them, but with younger casts. What made Fox such a player in the nineties (besides obviously getting football) was airing shows that took risks, none of the Big Three back then would have ever ordered up The Simpsons or Married...with Children, and they went on to be massive hits. So instead of creating more brooding teenager shows that will get doubled in the ratings by Telemundo, it is time for The CW to think outside the box much like when Fox created a sitcom that took place in a dude’s heads whose cast included the Wimp, the Angle, the Animal, and Genius part of a brain.

9. MTV Rock and Jock – I assuming the reason why the Rock and Jock specials went away was because of the skyrocketing contracts of the decade, but instead of current major leaguers, just bring in retired players that need the money. Like Darryl Strawberry or Aintoine Walker whould say no. And without any NBA this year, what a perfect time to bring it back. Also who doesn’t want to see if Flea still has it.


Since Hollywood has just started to ransack the ninties cubboard, let me warn them of a couple shows they should never reboot under any circumstance.

1. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air – This this sounds like a good idea until you realize they would just cast Soulja Boy or even worse, Will Smith forces the casting directors to sign up his son.

2. The X-Files – If the post-David Duchovny era was not evidence enough, I do not know what else could convince you not to do the show without him.

3. Beverly Hills, 90210 – Umm, which leads me to…

4. Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, Felicity or Any Other Show From The WB: Seriously The CW, before thinking about it, go back and reread what I wrote during Herman’s Head.

5. Friends – Hollywood has tried to recreate Friends success since it became a hit and has failed massively every time (with the exception of How I Met Your Mother) and a Friends remake would doubtfully do any better.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/30/11


The Walking Dead: That starting flashback scene was worthless, we already knew about the pre-apocalypse marital problems; really all we got were some worthless reaction shots and no early zombies. But my favorite part of the episode is when the old guy wondered why they did not find any high grade antibiotics while scavenging on the highway, as if that is a common travel kit. Almost as entertaining as the new accent they gave Vivian Volcoff to master, but instead go in and out of.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: First off, let’s quickly touch on the bad, that was the creepiest episode ever. EVER. I need to drink away the visuals as soon as possible. With that out of the way, why did Ted not call me about the “Weird Al” tickets? I would have totally gone with him.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Sing Off: The Collective has continually been on the bottom of my Power Rankings all season, and I was glad they finally landed in the final two, but I was surprised they actually lost the final sing-off because I thought they did a better version of Just a Dream than The Yellowjackets (who did not deserve to be in the bottom two). But the bif news of the week was Antoine Merriweather grinding on a girl!

The Sing-Off Week 4 Power Rankings (change from last week in parentheses):

1. Afro Blue (-)
2. The Dartmouth Aires (+2)
3. University of Rochester YellowJackets (-1)
4. Urban Method (-1)
5. BYU Vocal Point (-)
6. Delilah (-)
7. Pentatonix (-)



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Sing-Off on iTunes.

Castle: Having the ex-cop being the killer seemed like one too many twists in the episode. But it was still entertaining hearing Castle trying to rationalize an otherworldly killer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Back when we went down south to meet the other patch and how one member killed another that was going to play out in SAMCRO and it finally played out this episode. It should be interesting to hear how Clay explains the bullets in Piney’s chest next episode and who buys it (Gemma already knows he is lying and will likely put the two together). But you have to wonder why Piney, knowing Clay would come after him, hide in the one place Clay would look?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: South Pacific: When the show returned this season, I unveiled the 25 Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever with Ozzy surprisingly left off the list despite being voted off with an Idol in his back pocket. But if he loses this week I’ll will have to update the list because he will have definably jumped into the top five. What makes his move so dumb is that it was totally unnecessary because Christine has made it abundantly clear she hates her own tribe, so had she beaten Cochran, she would have joined them out of spite, she certainly is not as Christian as Matt last season. So best case scenario for his move is a zero sum gain. And then the worst case scenario is not only he loses and is out of the game not even making it to the jury, but maybe he wins but there is no merge and his tribe loses the Immunity Challenge without him, Cochran, as bottom on the totem poll, uses the Hidden Immunity Idol at tribal council and Keith is voted out and now Ozzy has to battle him at Redemption Island, and even if he wins that and reenters the game, he returns to a tribe down numbers and without an Idol. Oh, please, Reality Gods, let this scenario play out.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Survivor on iTunes


Revenge: How long until Amy Abbott gets rid of her boyfriend’s little troll of her boyfriend friend. He may not be on the list, but he has to be meeting his demise sooner than later.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: Yeah, there was nothing more predictable than the whole study had major mental issues. With that said, Annie is one heck of a storyteller.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Beavis and Butt-Head: When they announced the return of the show I feared it would have lost its magic in the years since they left MTV but they did not miss a beat. And since they are watching actual television shows no, is it too much to ask to have the boys watch the presidential debate?
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download Beavis and Butt-Head on iTunes.

Chuck: With last season’s cliffhanger, I feared the show would become unbearable with Morgan as the Intercet and that was basically how that played out. Hopefully they have more Sarah in her undergarment scenes to dull the pain this season and they save the inevitable baby announcement to the series finale. And I and still not sure what the evil CIA guy’s endgame is. Hopefully they clear that up soon.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Best of the Week - 10/29/11


Quote of the Week: I ain’t afraid of no ghost. (Beckett, Castle)

Song of the Week: Like a Surgeon – “Weird Al” Yankovic (How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Charlie Sheen Coming Back to the Small Screen: Right after getting the boot from Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen was quickly cast in an Anger Management reboot (the original movie starred Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson) and now it has a channel, FX (which I once called the nest network on television, but after picking this and American Horror Story and canceling Terriers and Lights Out, I may have to reassess). And not only are they looking at one-ten episode season, if successful, it will be picked up for an additional ninety episodes much like many of the TBS sitcoms. No word on where Vegas has set the Over/Under of how many episode Sheen will make it through.

Free Download of the Week: Make My. – The Roots featuring Big K.R.I.T. (Rcrdlbl)

New Album Release of the Week: Achtung Baby (Super Deluxe Edition) - U2

New DVD Release of the Week: Scrooged [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: In honor of their Rocket City Redneck, National Geographic Channel has laughed a new PSA to Save the Rednecks asking all Americans to break out their work boots, coveralls, and proudly declare themselves rednecks. Their campaign even comes with this shiny new video:

PSA


Next Week Pick of the Week: Homeland, Sunday at 10:00 on Showtime: I have finally caught up on what is, for all intents and purposes, the best new show of the fall (assuming you do not consider Beavis and Butt-Head “new”) as well as tomorrow’s episode. And just in time as the last image for the previous episode is a suspicious couple buying a new home, straight cash homie, which just happens to be right near an airport. That and many other plots will be playing out tomorrow including an intense interrogation sequence, which is a bit of more realistic than one commissioned by Jack Bauer. We also get to meet a couple more family members of the main cast. And get ready for more Homeland because the show was recently renewed for a second season.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Around the Tubes - 10/28/11


I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Grimm, Chuck, The Incredible Dr. Pol, Explosion Bus, Zombie Apocalypse, Dallas, Lynyd Skynyrd, and Adopt a Turkey.

- The long awaited final season of Chuck premieres tonight along with the series premiere of Grimm. For those that cannot wait a couple more hours, here is a twenty minute preview of Grimm along with a sneak peak of Chuck:

Special Extended Preview


- New show alert! The Incredible Dr. Pol follows a veterinarian who specializes in large animals and pets as he makes house calls to his patients. Some compare it to a real-life version of All Creatures Great and Small, the British television series from the 80s, but that is a bit before my time and wrong continent. For the premiere this Saturday at 9:00 with back to back episodes on Nat Geo Wild, Dr. Pol treats a horse with a spinal cord injury, operates on a cow with two dead fetuses that need to be removed, a K-9 Hungarian German Sheppard that may have cancer, and a cow with a twisted stomach. Check out a clip below (assuming you have not eaten lately because the video is as graphic as the title suggests):

Massaging a Cow Uterus


- Fans of singing competitions may want to check out Explosion Bus, a satirical web series that looks into the genre from Tom Snyder, the creator of Dr. Katz.

- For those looking for a scare this Halloween weekend, Syfy has its new original movie Zombie Apocalypse starring Ving Rhames and it premieres tomorrow at 9:00. Here is a preview:



- The TNT Dallas reboot had its first day of filming recently and here are OG Larry Hagman and newbie Josh Henderson talking about it:



- BBQ, Beer and Lynyd Skynyrd sounds like a natural fit, and now you can have all three starting December 8 in Las Vegas. And you can be there for an “eat ‘n’ greet” with the band for the grand opening as tickets go on sale today at 10:00 by calling (702) 262-4400.

- We are less than a month away from Thanksgiving and Adopt-A-Turkey Project recently announced Ellen DeGeneres will be back as their spokesperson.

- For the latest installment of Political News of the Week, last week I mentioned that Herman Cain was the number one seller on CafĂ©Press among Republican hopefuls and now he has even taken over Barack Obama in sales at 43% of all presidential candidates to the current president’s 33%. Although Poll Position recent survey of registered voters found that a third of Americans think Mitt Romney has a better chance to defeat Obama than Herman Cain. Although when it comes to the voting cycle, wake me up when voting starts happening.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Previewing Grimm



When it comes to new shows, I tend to look past the cast and the glossy introductory promos and look at who is working behind the scenes of the show. Surprisingly of the two fairy-tale themed new shows this fall, Once Upon the Time (see my First Impressions of the show) topped my list of the Most Anticipated New Shows of Fall 2011 list while Grimm could not even make the list considering the former is “from the writers of Lost,” a show I still cringe whenever I think about it, while the latter is brought to us by the guy who co-created Angel with Joss Whedon, which landed in at number sixteen on my list of the 100 Greatest Shows of the 00’s. Of course, on the flipside, Sean Hayes is also a co-executive producer. Yes, the Sean Hayes you are thinking of.

Much like Angel, the lead in Grimm, David Giuntoli (Road Rules, wait, what? Why am I just learning that this guy was on Road Rules and the subsequent Challenges with the Real World, and why do I not remember him at all?) is a detective that takes on special cases due to his special ability, in this case, his is a descendant of the Brothers Grimm and as it turns out, their stories were not just fables but real life and only the Grimms can see these characters for who they really are. Unfortunately just like Angel, the lead is tall, dark, and boring (which is maybe why I do not remember him).

Giuntoli is joined in the homicide department with Russell Hornsby (Playmakers) who like to bust his partner’s balls. Also hanging around the precinct is Reggie Lee (Persons Unknown) and all will be reporting to Sasha Roiz (Caprica) as the captain. While at home Giuntoli is getting ready to propose to girlfriend Bitsie Tulloch (Quarterlife) but his newfound lineage may put that in jeopardy. Kate Burton (Monty) also puts in a memorable guest appearance in the Pilot as David’s aunt who keys him into his heritage.

One problem that Grimm runs into is that it is a very dark retelling of the stories we remember as children, but it may be hard for the show to go into the cheesy, like in the first episode where we meet a young girl in a red hooded sweatshirt, who is kidnapped on her way to her grandparent’s house, whose initials just happen to be R. H. It is hard ton to wince a little at plot points like this. Hopefully this gets less cheesy as the show goes on just like David Greenwalt managed to do with Angel which managed to be a darker version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that still had a lighter side to it. This time around, the comic relief (though not as entertaining as Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan) will come in the form as Silas Weir Mitchell (My Name is Earl) who will be helping the newest Grimm out with some of his cases and just happens to be a reformed Big Bad Wolf. No, seriously.

Despite what looks to be a procedural every week, there looked to be an introduction of a Big Bad in the form of the moderately attractive Claire Coffee (Wild Things: Diamonds in the Rough) which hints that the fairytale characters may be more organized than the Grimms may realize. Hopefully she will be appearing early and often because I am not quite sold yet on a strictly procedural show.

In a battle between the show and Once Upon a Time, you will have to give the win to OUaT in terms of quality and almost certainly in terms of viewers (assuming Grimm will not garner enough eyeball on Friday against the already entrenched sci-fi show Fringe) it is currently a tossup because it is hard to be cautious when it comes to a show “from the writers of Lost.” But Grimm’s ratings may make that discussion moot much like The Playboy Club vs Pan Am.

Grimm airs Fridays at 9:00 on NBC. You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.



Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dumb Plus Dumb Equals You


Stronger - Kelly Clarkson

Trends are so powerfully, even big time rock stars like The Rolling Stones were recording disco songs at the height of the genre. With the explosion of Adele this year as the most buzzed and bought artist, I bet record labels are already signing clones for the last couple months. You would think one artist who would love to jump on the Adele bandwagon would be Kelly Clarkson. After her most personal album My December bombed with critics and the public alike, she was resigned to recording what sounded like leftovers from Katy Perry and P!nk albums for the follow up All I Ever Wanted.

But instead of filling her latest album with Adele like tracks that more highlight the voice over cheep production effects that are meant to hide the limitations of lesser singer, Clarkson’s latest album Stronger is just a retread of her last album which sounds even more dated now two years later. Just how overplayed is her title track What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)? It actually inspired someone to compile a video of all the pop songs that have overused the Nietzsche quote.



From the title track, you get another twelve forgettable tracks. It is never a good sign when you go through a whole album and not one song sticks out from the mediocrity. They just sound like leftovers from her last album (which sounded like leftovers themselves and no one likes still eating turkey the Sunday after Thanksgiving). Okay, one song actually stick out, but not in a good way. Einstein features lyrics so painfully lame they would make Ke$ha songs read like something out of the Bob Dylan songbook. Not only is “Dumb + Dumb = You” a line in the song, it is the actual chorus. C’mon, you could not come up with a second insult that you had to add dumb to itself? Why not then just say “Dumb Squared = You” then? Hopefully Clarkson recorded Stronger before Adele had her success and we will have to wait for her to capitalize on Adele’s domination of the charts for her next album, because songs like Einstein are embarrassingly bad.

Song to Download – You Love Me

Stronger gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.



Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I Want My Music Television - 10/25/11


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Paradise - Coldplay



With the whole formal opening credits for a film I was expecting some grand epic music video, but the very next scenes is someone in an elephant costume with scenes with the elephant in a trunk (get it?), on a unicycle, and in his natural habitat, in the Sahara playing music. Well done Coldplay.


This Isn’t Everything You Are – Snow Patrol



It is not a very good sign when a band rushes out a second single, it usually means the first one bombed, and the first single was so forgettable, I cannot remember its name. The new Snow Patrol song is slightly better, though not as fun as the last video, not that I remember what the song name was, and this one kind of reminds me of the Kings of Leon video for Pyro, but with less freaks and more random dancing.


We Found Love - Rihanna featuring Calvin Harris



Speaking of videos that remind me of other ones, the new Rihanna video looks Teenage Dream if it had been filmed by the director of Trainspotting who wanted to add a completely random intro for no reason.


One Up for Love - Boyz II Men



With The Sing-Off, the BeyoncĂ© sampling Countdown, and contributing to some midget’s Christmas album, I would love for a Boyz II Men comeback (get ready to feel old, Cooleyhighharmony came out twenty years ago). I am not sure this is the song to do it, the opening production (I was going to ask where was Babyface, but upon some research, it turns out he actually produced it), but it did get better by the time the band kicked in. But this is still better than ninety-nine percent of what is considered RnB that is released today.