Monday, July 24, 2006

Musings From the Back 9 vol. XI


- As a big fan of lists, sometimes the absurd are more entertaining than the serious ones like Blender’s 25 Biggest Wusses… Ever! And you know you’re in for some big girly-men when doesn’t even crack the top ten. But with every list there are the snubs the biggest being and it’s odd that (one of only two females) made the list yet the dude who’s dating Hilary Duff doesn’t. And what does it say about me that I own albums by five of the artists on the list, six if owning a album counts for .

- In more horrible music news, Nicole Ritchie is next socialite to record an album. And before you tell me this isn’t a situation because she is related to someone with actual talent, , let me remind you she was adopted. Adopted or not, I really wish Nicole would stop tarnishing Lionel’s greatness (and no, he didn’t appear on the Wusses list).

- In more wusses new, Big Head Ozzie is at it again when he ripped apart another pitcher for not retaliate for a teammate being hit properly. Who cares that Jon Garland went into the ninth for a win when he won’t participate in an arcane tradition. And of course the wuss of the story is Bud Selig who won’t suspend Ozzie Guillen even though this will be the second time he ordered a pitcher to throw at someone.

- In more oversized dome news, happy birthday to Big Head Bonds who got an early present when he escaped indictment for the second time. But thanks to his attorney taunting the federal prosecutor, it looks like he will try to make the third time a charm. Maybe this time, try catching Big Head Barry and the Monsters making a ham sandwich because I heard those were so east to indict.

- Expect a few album reviews this week as there are a few good, or at the very least newsworthy, albums being released tomorrow with something for everyone, a little rock, rap, pop, and maybe some R&B.

- The television season ended two months ago yet asides from Rescue Me there hasn’t been anything to watch even though I people continually talking about dudes singing karaoke, dudes dancing, dudes sitting around doing nothing, dudes embarrishing themselves in front of David Hasselhoff, chicks hanging out in Los Angeles. Yawn, yawn, and more yawning. Wake me up in two weeks when the real summer television season starts. Chek out this clip courtesy of for a preview:




And as an added bonus, here’s some casting footage (you may not want to play this at work, or really if there is anyone around):




- And lastly I will be starting up a fantasy football league soon so if you are interested in getting beat like red-headed stepchild participate, shoot be an e-mail, ScooterKSU@aol.com.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Most of All You've Got to Hide it From the Kids


Rumor Has It...

There is nothing better than finding out your family history is the basis of a book and movie especially when it’s a salacious one. That would be the premise, and pretty ingenious one, for Rumor Has It… The movie follows (Leprechaun) as she slowly starts to realize that her mother and grandmother were the people who inspired . Throwing a bigger wrinkle into her life is the possible that the real life Dustin Hoffman character could be her father.

The dude in question is (Waterworld) who plays the real life graduate even though he never did but as he tells it The Dropout wasn’t as catchy. (Cannonball Run II) is the matriarch and first female in the family to bed Costner. Then there is , who has been in almost forty films but has yet to be memorable in one, as Aniston’s fiancée who puts up with her cold feet and search for her possible father because, well, he looks like Mark Ruffalo and she looks like Jennifer Aniston. Rounding out the cast is my hero, himself as one of Costner’s business buddies.

Even though the plot is a clever one, the film sinks in its delivery which seems to be a theme in the last couple movies I’ve seen. It is like the producers, which this film actually had ten of including Ocean’s 11 duo of and , get a topic that they feel could write itself. But in this film, the laugh are far and few in between or beat to death. The funniest bits come when they reference the film especially when Aniston wonder why she wasn’t told of her family secret to which Ruffalo sing “But most of all you got to hide it from the kids.” But not all The Graduate reference are great as it sometimes felt as if you needed to just see the film to get the joke, which I haven’t in more than a decade. Another sticking point with the film was Aniston in full Rachel Green mode not getting the memo that this was a film and not a sitcom. Her overacting got old quicker as her show did (for those keeping track at home, that would be sometime around the second season).

Rumor Has It… gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Friday, July 21, 2006

When They Own the Information They Can Bend it all They Want


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video click the title (where available), if you just want a song follow the link in the analysis.

Jurassic 5 - Work it Out




So I have ripped people for piling on President Bush lately because I’m just bored of it all and quite frankly most of it isn’t at all entertaining. Well enter with the best political commentary since the stolen election. Granted they could have done a better job casting as the dude really don’t look that much like Bush, and I wasn’t sure if the other old white dude was Dick Cheney or Karl Rove until he had a heart attack. As we learned from Arrested Development, there is nothing funnier than a dude on a Segway. And yes, if you missed the iPod screen, that is the namesake of the Dave Matthews Band singing the chorus and I believe the drummer is also on the track. But like I said earlier, piling on Bush just isn’t funny because really, they can’t top what the man does himself like this David Letterman Top 10 List (keep in mind this is even before the German Chancellor back rub incident):




Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was a Punk Rock Girl with Flowers in My Hair




Okay, I hope you ignored the extremely cheesy title, because the song by newcomer is really catchy. In a measure of full disclosure, I must admit that she does give two (inadvertent) shout outs to me in the song one being the dude who originally song the flower in your hair song is my namesake (my other name, well that may just be a coincidence) and the other you will just have figure out yourself, which I doubt you will.


John Mayer - Waiting on the World to Change




Not a proper video nor the full song, but John Mayer’s first single is am early contender to top the Best Songs of 2006 list. The album Continuum won’t be out until September, but you can download the song in iTunes now see the ad below. But if you are cheap, or like me and will wait and buy the entire album when it comes out, you can stream the song on his website .

Apple iTunes

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Best of Pearl Jam


For long time readers to the 9th Green know I love making mix tapes. A subset to this is my Best Of series. I routinely make my own because inevitably they leave off some of my favorite songs on Greatest Hits packages (the worst offender being I’m on Fire being left off of Bruce Springsteen’s). Even though the resurgence of Pearl Jam has since died down after the release of their new album, I’ll still hype the band with my Best Of for the band. Keep in mind this was made before its release, granted I’m not sure if any of those songs could bump something of this set. This CD comes in at 77:28.


1. Alive - Ten
2. Porch - Ten
3. Black - Ten
4. Dirty Frank - Even Flow Single
5. Dissident - Vs.
6. Rearviewmirror - Vs.
7. Daughter - Vs.
8. Elderly Woman Behind the Counter In a Small Town - Vs.
9. Indifference - Vs.
10. Yellow Ledbetter - Jeremy Single
11. Better Man - Vitalogy
12. Nothingman - Vitatogy
13. Immortality - Vitalogy
14. Corduroy - Vitalogy - Vitalogy
15. I Got ID - Merkinball
16. Given to Fly - Yield
17. Last Kiss - No Boundaries

I’m sure there will be must debate to this album (I never liked Jeremy, and this is my list), so feel free to comment on what you would add and or subtract. And as an added bonus, in a recent issue of Rolling Stone they had a Best of the Boots list which picked the best songs from their 176 official concert bootlegs:

1. Daughter - Las Vegas (11/30/93)
2. Go - East Rutherford, N.J. (9/8/98)
3. Corduroy - Virginia Beach, VA (8/3/00)
4. Yellow Ledbetter - Cincinnati (8/20/00)
5. Alive - Seattle (11/6/00)
6. Sometimes - Mansfield, Mass (7/11/03)
7. World Wide Suicide - Grand Rapids, Mich (5/19/06)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

First Impressions: The Amazing Screw-On Head


The Amazing Screw-On HeadMany of probably haven’t heard of The Amazing Screw-On Head unless you are a die hard comic book fan. But it’s the latest to get the Hollywood treatment, but instead it will be on the small screen. And when I mean small screen, I do mean small as in Sci-Fi channel small. But even though the air until July 27, I was given an advance screening because, well, I rule*.

For those that are not aware of the comic (much like me), it centers on a, well, screw-on head, that is ironically enough amazing. This is a period piece circa the Civil War with the Screw-On Head working for Abraham Lincoln to protect national security. Even though they didn’t show up in the pilot episode, I have a feeling the Confederate will be showing up quite frequently. Maybe it will turnout that Stonewall Jackson was actually a robot.

Also helping out the screw-on head is his trusty manservant, the disturbingly named Mr. Groin, who successors all have killed by his first turned arch-nemesis, Emperor Zombie who, like most arch-nemesis(es), is trying to take over the world. And if killing all his menservants weren’t enough, Emperor Zombie even turned his one true love into a vampire. And we even get to see a flashback of the, um, love affair between the crew-on head and a human.

The pedigree behind the show is not too shabby either. First the comic book that is based on is from the same guy who created Hellboy. The do a real good job creating the show as it is the first cartoon that looks like a comic book put to motion without looking cheesy. The show itself is being produced by Bryan Fuller, the guy who brought us and the canceled way too soon . Oscar nominee is the voice of the Screw-On Head. Patton Oswalt, squandered on the unfunny King of Queens, is the manservant and Dr. Niles Crane is the brilliant Emperor Zombie. Mindy Sterling, best know as Dr. Evil’s underling Frau Farbissina, here plays a pair of Zombie’s underlings.

The show can quickly become the best cartoon on television the pilot is any indication. I has that campy humor that made Wonderfalls great (I never saw Dead Like Me because I too cheap to subscribe to a premium channel) and were plenty of laugh out load moments and plenty of chuckles to fill the gaps. Hopefully this is a start of a new wave of comic book adaptations because there were way too many bad live action versions.

*To be totally honest, you too can view the pilot early at the website and even take a nine question questionnaire afterwards.

Verdict: Even though I watch more Sci-Fi programming over the internet than on my television (which is none), I may have find out what channel it is on to watch The Amazing Screw-On Head.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I’m Still Texican to the Bone


Sacred - Los Lonely Boys

Two summers ago, the invaded the radio with the extremely catchy Heaven. The south of the border rock with harmonies was a refreshing diversion from all the rap and overproduced pop that still litters the radio landscape today and even won the Boys a Grammy that year. But the song, as catch as it was, did have the trappings of a one hit wonder though the band is back trying to avoid that dreaded label.

The new album starts right where they left off with their mix of their Texas upbringing and Mexican heritage all brought together with a pop appeal. The album’s first song, My Way, has almost a cabaret sound. Roses on the other hand has a disco feel it as if had grown up in Texas. Later on the album, Texican Style has a sixties vibe to it. All these different blend nicely with the already established TexMex sound the band has cultivated. But the problem with the album though, is they don’t stray to far from the style making it repetitive at times.

Songs like Diamonds sound as if they sat down and tried to create another Heaven. It also sounds like their cameo on ’s last album rubbed off because before looking at the musicians on the album, I though a few of the tracks featured the legendary guitarist. The imitations don’t start there as the first time I heard the opening riff to the closing track, Living My Life, I though they were redoing Creep. The Boys do branch out a little lyrically with the quasi-political One More Day stating, “Even the blind man sees what’s wrong with the world today” then stresses that that all we need is one more day to make a change.

The standout track Outlaws features two of the Boys biggest influences, and the guy who taught the Boys everything they know, their own father Enrique Garza Sr. The two add their own verse reminiscing on old Texas when the outlaws could also be the heroes. The two mentors light a spark under their protégés as there is an intensity that is sometimes missing on other tracks. Maybe on the next outing, they should make the trio into a five piece.

Song to Download - Outlaws

Sacred gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Los Lonely Boys on iTunes

Monday, July 17, 2006

We on Award Tour: 2006 ESPY's


The ESPY’s are quickly becoming the most entertaining award show of the year. This is most likely because this is the only award show for athletes, whom are actually gracious and excited to be there whereas there are plenty of award shows for acting and music and it shows on the faces of the attendees who looked bored at having to sit through another one and most likely only show up to promote something. Also unlike the end of the year the ESPY’s have little competition as the only award show in July and a good month after the MTV Movie Awards and a month or so before the Emmy’s and Video Music Awards. Plus the ESPY’s has the best award on the docket with the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage which is always tear jerking and since it’s sports related and on ESPN, it is socially acceptable for dude to cry during it. This year was the first time an actual athlete hosted the show and after setting the bar pretty low with his stint as a Saturday Night Live host, Lance Armstrong pretty much met expectation as the master of ceremony. Here are some observations from the show last night:

- Another reason why the ESPY’s are better than other award shows is because their pre-show doesn’t feature any creepy chicks that have had way too much plastic surgery. Instead we get Stuart Scott, Melyssa Ford, best know as a video ho-fessional, and the Black Widow, Jeanette Lee, someone everyone who has all thirty ESPN probably know, and if you don’t her, she’s a pool player. Not necessarily a murder’s row of interviewers, but at least Star Jones and her remodeled alien face were nowhere to be found.

- Nice that the pre-show starts off with a blatant plug for The Contender. Maybe this is just like every other award show.

- They even gave out some awards in the pre-show including Best Coach which was one by Bill Cowher. As much as I don’t like the dude, it was nice to see he’s re-growing his boy bander beard.

- During a commercial break, I flipped over to I Love the 70’s (which by the way, I don’t) and they were ironically talking about the start of ESPN and they asked Stu Scott what it stood for and he said he didn’t know. Make me fell a little better about not knowing.

- Best part of the pre-show was when Ford asked the High School Payer of the Year where she was going to college and she responded University of Connecticut, Ford asked, “UConn?” Way to pick someone with a low sports IQ.

- You just got to love Julius Jones’ comment about his new teammate Terrell Owens and how his different team, different T.O. sounds exactly like what Donavan McNabb said about this time two years ago. Have fun Cowboys fan.

- It looks like Gary Payton is already positioning himself as a NBA Draft analysis guy after he retires with his “upside” comment on Dwayne Wade. I think a Finals MVP really doesn’t have much “upside” left.

- As much as I wish Carmen Electra would just disappear, she has no discernable talent and you can find hotter chicks going down to your local fitness center, but I love how Stu Scott asked her about former husband Dennis Rodman. C’mon E!, skip the creepy looking Joan Rivers, Star Jones and Kathy Griffin this year and have Stu on the red carpet at the Emmy’s this year. I’d turn in for that.

Another reason to watch the ESPY's, Danica dropped it like it's hot- Obvious edit after Stu asked Danica Patrick about her boss David Letterman, I wonder what was cut out.

- Is it wrong that I have to chuckle every time I see Kobe Bryant out with his wife? Too bad Stu didn’t ask them about the white chick.

- The pre-show just happened to be ESPN2, and when 9:00 came around, Stu reminded us to switch over to ESPN, but when I did just that, it was the seventh inning of a Mets-Cubs game. Not only that, the game was a blow out, 13-5. with thirty channels, I don’t know why they just didn’t move the game to The Ocho. What’s worse was the actual awards were handed out Wednesday, a day with no sports going on. I don’t know why they just didn’t show it live them. What else could have been going on, the WNBA All-Star Game? Then I didn’t realize that I could have been watching Chappelle’s Show while I waited until after it ended. Then finally the ESPY’s started at 9:40.

- The show started out with quite possible the highlight of the evening, with it’s images of the past year that included highs and lows as well as obligatory memoriam section and a section for those who retired in the past year.

- As mediocre as Lance is at delivering a punch line, I still had to laugh at when he said he’d give his left nut to host the show and of course what award show would be complete without a Brokeback Mountain joke, this time when Lance said he was surprised to see Jake Gyllenhaal in the front row because he likes it in the rear. Nice to see they employed middle schoolers to write the monologue.

- First presenter of the night is Janet Jackson whose last appearance at a sporting event went… well, you know. She was out to present the Best Championship Performance. I find it interesting that the winner, Dwayne Wade, was also the only nominee whose championship performance wasn’t just one game. I’m not sure this is actually fair, maybe they should split this into two categories, one for game/match, the other for series.

- The Kip Pringle skit was decent, not quite the quality of MTV Movie Awards skits (Jessica Alba one’s not withstanding). Essentially what you have is Dwight Shrute from The Office playing himself but switched Lance in place of Michael Scott.

- Shawn White’s face when he lost Best Breakthrough Athlete was priceless. It’s like for the last month people were telling him he was a show-in, not realizing they were just blowing smoke. You’d think he just saw his girlfriend on a sex tape with another dude.

- Now it’s time for the serious part of the ceremony where Lance hypes his charity along with the Jimmy V Foundation. For these that were wondering who the mother and daughter they kept on showing during this part, they were ESPY nominee for Best Moment, Dakota Dowd and her mother, who has terminal cancer. Also, if you didn’t catch them, the websites that were talked about here were livestrong.org and JimmyV.org.

- I find it interesting the chick that presented with LeBron James wouldn’t let go of is arm. Now I’m not saying she’s a golddigger…

Coming soon to ESPN8, thumb wrestling- As great as the thumb wresting challenge was, I fear after putting on “sports” like dominos, Scrabble, and spelling bees, this may give the programmers at ESPN an idea.

- You got to love how they played the sexist You Shook Me All Night Long during the Best Female Athlete montage.

- Did we really need what boils down to a ten minute commercial for the Ricky Bobby? The movie itself asks the question, its their enough humor in dudes turning left for hours to warrant a movie lampooning it?

Arthur Ashe Award for Courage- Next up is the reason why people who don’t even pay attention to sports should watch the ESPY’s: The Arthur Ashe Award for Courage. This year’s recipients were two young Afghani women who organized a soccer league for girl their age. It’s heartbreaking to hear these girls have to play behind a military wall for their own protection. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, this is the best part of any award show.

- Yet another Will Ferrell bit. I’m beginning to think I’m the only one who doesn’t think this guy is funny. Really the funniest part of his serenade to Lance was Matt Leinart’s expression when Ferrell sang the line, “you’ve been everywhere in France except for Paris… Hilton’s pants.” Speaking of dudes who just saw his girlfriend’s sex tape.

- As much as I don’t understand the allure of dues turning left, I’m equally puzzled by the popularity of college football. This may have to due with my college team winning about as many games as years I attended. But really the fan base of many teams are guys who didn’t go to that school, or are not even smart enough to get into college. It a sham that the National Championship Game beat out a walk of home run in the 18th that ended a series after the winner game back from five down, tieing it up with their last batter in the 9th. They should bring back the IQ test for voting whether it be for the president or the ESPY’s.

- For those keeping track at home, there were three Brokeback Mountain jokes last night.

Would it be wrong to make a Brokeback Mountain joke about an autistic kid?- The best part of Jason McElwain winning for best moment was how exited the other nominees looked when he won (there was a four way cut screen when the winner was announced) with the George Mason coach being the first to congratulate him. Hopefully Shawn White takes note when he watches the rebroadcast.

Yeah, the right eye is looking at something different then the left- As much as I dislike Marky Mark, I got to love how he made fun of Ben Roethlisberger just before the Steelers won Best Team. I find it interesting who ESPN tried to build this up to be a big, touching event. This isn’t Christopher Reeves at the Oscars, did they really expect people would cheer a dude fore making a bonehead decision. It would have been like had the ESPY’s made Kobe the big surprise appearance right after being acquitted of raping a white chick. And after reading live reports of the award show, I wouldn’t be surprised had ESPN edited in some cheers. And a question for Steelers fan, did Ben have a lazy eye before the accident? His right eye has definitely been wondering around lately, maybe I just never noticed it before.

- The show ends appropriately enough, with an audience full of overpaid athletes, with The O’Jays singing for The Love of Money. Fun times.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Lyrics Quiz: Scooter’s Choice


One year ago, I started my monthly Lyrics Quiz. It all started when a meme was making its round last year and even though I never do them, this one was right up my wheelhouse. You were supposed to put iTunes on random and pick lyrics from the next 10-15 songs that were played. From there I decided to make a monthly game out of it and with the Scooter Hall of Fame on the first of every month, I though I’d split the month down the middle and have the Lyrics Quiz on the fifteenth of each month. I also decided quickly to have a theme every month; the first was of Live 8 performers, but on the anniversary I’m going with some of my favorite songs and/or lyrics. As always, put both the song title and artist in the comment section and if you are right, I will un-bold the song and give you credit. The person will then be added to the Winner's List on my sidebar. Now onto the quiz:

Hint:
23. A couple people have guess the right song so far, but I haven't been satisfied with the artist given. With many songs being covered and would have multiple artists, I only accept two different types of artist when it comes to specific lyrics: the orginal arist or the artist that gave the definative version (i.e. All Along the Watchtower was orginally done by Bob Dylan, but Jimi Hendrix gave the definitive version. For lyric 23, the same artist fill both criteria (of course I am the jury when devising who gave the definative version. For a hint, whenever he is not related to the chick from The Devil Wears Prada (think last names).


1. Dig if you will a picture of you and I engaged in a kiss. (When Doves Cry - Prince; guessed by Greyspace)
2. Don’t look to us, phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust. (London Calling - The Clash; guessed by Greyspace)
3. Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out. (Wonderwall - Oasis; guessed by Erica)
4. With a name I’ve never chosen I can take my fist steps as a child of twenty-five. (Chocolate - Snow Patrol; guessed by Kristi)
5. It’s been too hard living but I’m afraid to die. (A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke; guessed by Kristi)
6. You used to be so amused, and Napoleon in rags and the language that he used. (Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan; guessed by Greyspace)
7. Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights are faded and that heaven is overrated? (Drops of Jupiter - Train; guessed by Erica)
8. Leonard Bernstein! (It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - R.E.M.; guessed by Greyspace)
9. Name my kids ghetto names: Little Mookie, Big Al, Lorraine. (I Wish - Skee-Lo; guessed by Greyspace)
10. I couldn’t have a one conversation if it wasn’t for the lies, lies, lies. And still I want to tell you everything until I close my eyes. (Bad Reputation - Feedy Johnston; guessed by Kristi)
11. Never trust a big butt and a smile. (Poison - Bell Biv DeVoe; guessed by Greyspace)
12. I asked her her name, she said, “Blah, blah, blah.” (Just a Friend - Biz Markie; guessed by Rae)
13. Ain’t no (lovin’) good enough to get burnt while I’m up in it. (Nuthin' but a "G" Thang - Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg; guessed by Kristi)
14. People say I’m the life of the party because I tell a joke or two, although I might be laughing loud and hardy, deep inside I’m blue. (Tracks of My Tears - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles; guessed by Greyspace)
15. When the band plays Hail to the Chief, they point the cannon at you. (Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival; guessed by Greyspace)
16. Whatever happened to Tuesday and so slow going down to the old mine with a transmitter radio. (Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison; guessed by Greyspace)
17. But I’d gladly go down in a flame if a flame’s what it takes to remember my name. (Bigger Than My Body - John Mayer; guessed by Kristi)
18. A broom is drearily sweeping up the broken pieces of yesterday’s life. (The Wind Cries Mary - Jimi Hendrix Experience; guessed by Greyspace)
19. You say you want a diamonds on a ring of gold, you say you want story to remain untold. (All I Want Is You - U2; guessed by Greyspace)
20. The highway’s jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power-dive. (Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Greyspace)
21. Me and Cinderella put it all together. (One Headlight - The Wallflowers; guesssed by Erica)
22. Every time she sneezes I believe it’s love. (Anna Begins - Counting Crows; guessed by Greyspace)
23. I love in a place where there’s no space or time, I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine.
24. Take a small example, take a tip from me, take all of your money, give it all to charity. (What I Got - Sublime; guessed by Kristi)
25. Emancipate yourselves from mental-slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds. (Redemption Song - Bob Marley and the Wailers; guessed by Kristi)


There have been (almost) 300 different lyrics in the past year and 55 different participants in the past year. And after twelve months, here is the leader board in term of all-time points (and of course check out the Winners List on the side board).

Sha Shinizzle - 32
Dame Bramage - 22
Angie - 18
Guppyman - 17
Shelia - 15

So be sure to be back every fifteenth of the month (I suggest subscribing to my feed) and maybe you will be up there next month. For the anniversary, I have a bonus lyric that I don't think anyone would get, but if get it correct, you will get two extra points - “If Mary drop my baby girl tonight, I would name her Rock n Roll.” (The Seed (2.0) - The Roots and Cody ChestnuTT; guessed by Erica)

Friday, July 14, 2006

Who Rapper You Know Before His Record Drop Is a Grammy Winner


Blue Collar - Rhymefest

A couple months ago I went to get the Free Single of the Week on iTunes and that week featured a rare rap track. But unlike most rap songs in recent memories, this one didn’t make me reach for the mute button. This could be attributed to the word “Bling” not being uttered once nor were there any signs of flossing. But really I marveled out how no rapper up to this point failed in recognizing the entertainment value in sampling Jimmy Walker’s signature catch-phrase.

Fast forward four months and said rapper, has finally released his debut album, . Even though the bling isn’t there is still plenty of swagger in his rapping as Fest will be the first to inform you that he is already a Grammy winner as he co-wrote Best Rap Song winner, Jesus Walks. does return the favor showing up on two tracks on his fellow Chicagoan. Make sure you give Brand Know a chance because even though it seems to be annoying, there’s a good chance it will grow on you like it did me. And even though it’s just a guest spot, Kanye brings his “A” game, my favorite line being, “I leaving you haters like when Shaq left the Lakers just to Heat it up.” As for Rhymefest, he had me with the line, “Besides your breasts is augmented - I like things authentic.”

Rhymefest also has an eclectic ear when it comes to music sampling everybody from One by Three Dog Night on Tell a Story to Someday by The Strokes on Devil’s Pie. He also reworks the old Peggy Lee classic Fever into a Latin theme. The best though is when he reworks the overlooked Bullet and a Target by Citizen Cope. For old school hounds, look out for the Peter Piper hook on Stick. But for a more silly, karaoke vibe, look out for the album closer where the late great Ol’ Dirty Bastard a.k.a. Big Baby Jesus a.k.a. Dirk McGirk a.k.a. Osirus sings… wait for it… wait for it… Build Me Up Buttercup. Man, I miss the ODB.

The album’s title is a nod to Rhymefest’s former job as a janitor, so unlike his peer, there are no tales of drug dealing or hustling on the album. Instead what we get is the plight of the lower middle class in the Midwest. The self proclaimed Ghetto Regis has plenty of stories to tell that reflect that, the most touching is the story in Bullet where he tells of a kid who joins the Army out of high school because he doesn’t have any other way to pay for college, but Fest ends the verse by telling us, “don’t be mad, he died for the flag.” Too bad storytelling like this in rap left a decade ago. And not since ’s Keep Your Head Up has there been a rap song as uplifting for the fairer sex on Sister.

If there was one strike against this album, it would be its length at just under an hour. Even the best MC’s find it hard to full a whole album worth of classic tracks and this set could have been improved by shaving two to three songs that bring down the middle of the album. But it is still worth the price of admission to hear the ODB sing.

Song to Download - Dynamite (if you got it free like I did, go with Bullet)

Blue Collar gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Thursday, July 13, 2006

2006 Emmy Nominations: A Week Later


This time last week, like many of my fellow blogger that routinely wax poetic about our favorite television shows ripped the Emmys different year, same results despite the new voting system. But after a week of thinking about it I have come to realize it is not the new voting system that is still flawed, in fact it may not have been broken in the first place.

If you let me go on a tangent for a moment, last year put out a list of the 500 greatest songs of the Rock ‘n’ Roll era and like most lists of its ilk, I overanalyzed every selection and read through it multiple times. There were a bunch of sequencing issues that bugged my like my two favorite songs, All Along the Watchtower and Superstition were 48 and 74 respectively. But the part of the list that really got under my skin was how songs from formative years were omitted with bands like , , , and getting overlooked. To put things in perspective, The Beatles charted 23 songs while there were 24 songs released in the nineties on the list.

At the end of the list, Rolling Stone also published the list of music journalist and musicians that made up the panelist and there was a distinctive characteristic that ties most of them together: they were extremely old. If fact when I scanned the list the only people on the list that I was familiar list (and that was most) the only ballots cast by people under forty were by members of . So for the first time in my decade of subscribing to the magazine, I actually wrote them a letter about it, granted they did edit it before printing it, they took out the part where I wrote “You did something that even the Republican were unable to do this year: suppress the youth vote.”

Back to the Emmys, unlike the Rolling Stone list where the voters were released, we don’t know (at least I don’t) who the Emmy voters are, but I think it is safe to assume that they are all extremely old themselves which could explain , and if there is anything my grandpa taught me, old people love Martin Sheen. So in my long winded explanation, it’s not the voting system that is flawed, it’s the people that are doing the voting who are most likely well past the age of the majority of television watchers which could explain how could get a nomination for a show no one watched over her more deserving, younger contemporaries.

So instead of changing the voting system, what the Emmys need to do is change how the select voters to get more younger people involved, then maybe , , and Everybody Hates Chris will get the respect they deserve because it’s not their respective channels get overlooked, it’s that old people just don’t watch UPN or WB. But with all the rampart ageism in this year’s nomination who would have, five years ago predicted, the chick from (and I know all the guys out there, or at the very least saw the clips) would be the only actor of her generation to get a nomination?

One other suggestion I made last week, that may have got lost in the shuffle since it was at the bottom of a very long post, so I put it here so it will get more viewers (or you can always check out my original Emmy Nominations post):

Usually I prepare what I am going to write the night before and I had an anti-Desperate Housewives being included in the Comedy categories rant already to roll, but surprisingly only one supporting nomination this year so I was unable to use it in the individual nomination analysis. But since I thought it was a good idea, I’m still going to throw it out there to the people who run the Emmys: create a new Dramedy category. Back in the eighties and earlier, most shows were strictly in either in the drama or comedy column. But in the nineties and shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ally McBeal, more and more shows are equal parts laughs and tears and have been routinely overlooked. And the addition of the category would benefit the award show because it would mean more stars to nominate. Had there been a Dramedy Series category, it may have looked something like this:

Desperate Housewives
Everybody Hates Chris
Gilmore Girls
Rescue Me
Veronica Mars

And to the Emmys people, if you do decide to use my idea, all I ask in return is to be included as one of the people that does the nominating. Oh and one of those gift bags you give out to all the presenters.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Goodnight Michelle


Blowin' Up - Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone

Yesterday didn’t see the arrival of not one album that is the product of an MTV reality show, but two. But unlike yesterdays other release Cheyenne which is repeated ad nauseam, rarely gets a repeat so I really haven’t caught much because I really don’t know when the first run episodes show. From what I have seen, the show is hit and miss with playing the slightly mentally retarded one and his sidekick Stu Stone as an overanxious wannabe.

But after seeing the video for Rollin’ w/ Saget, I had high expectations thinking the duo could become the twenty-first century . Unfortunately for half the album, it sounds like they are actually trying to be legit. But the beats are second rate making them sound like Brian Austin Green (who they ironically shout-out during the album). They even were able to corral actual rappers to donate verses like . recreates (along with Jason Biggs) his Jamie Kennedy diss track and straight off is appearance on the Brooke Hogan song, shows up on Mattress Mack. This begs the question what is Paul Wall’s sadder guest appearance. But I do have to give it up to Stu for throwing the line, “Homeruns in H-Town like my name was Berkman” into that song. Luckily doesn’t degrade himself bye rapping on a track but just shows up to show his support for Kennedy, but his wife Coco steals the track by giving Stu some love.

As for the songs that I think that were supposed to be funny, they rarely warrant a chuckle. 1984 may have been funnier had hadn’t lampooned the seminal time period two years ago. The token diss track Knuckle Up is upstaged by the previous skit where Kennedy is hesitant about dissing Ashton Kutcher and Colin Ferrell. Celebrity Stalker is slightly funnier where the boys hit on ckicks that normal dudes would pass up, “My favorite show to (expletive deleted) to? Gotta be The Facts of Life. (Expletive deleted) , give me Mindy Cohn.” But the song does have very little replay value. Then there is Bologna, and the previous Blaine’s Story Skit, which should have gay right groups up in arms. Not that it makes fun of them, instead just on the principal that it is one of the dumbest songs ever recorded.

But the crown jewel of the album, and the only song worth listening to again is Rollin’ w/ Saget. After hearing the rest of the album, it’s clear that it is Danny Tanner himself that is the comical genius behind the song as there are very few bits more hilarious then hearing him say, “I got a (expletive deleted) like a donkey, (expletive deleted) as a rock and a trigger finger itchier than chicken pox.” We did indeed witnessed the strength of Bob Saget and you got to love the reference to intro Saget. Before the song there’s even a bit with Saget calling Kennedy’s voice mail suggesting they go out and date someone’s daughters. Although it’s a crime that iTunes wants a full ninty-nine cents for twenty-two seconds (for those keeping track at home, that’s four and a half pennies per second).

Song to Download - Rollin’ w/ Saget

Blowin’ Up gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Jamie Kennedy and Stu Stone on iTunes

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

This Is Gonna Rock Until it Rolls


The Day Has Come - Cheyenne Kimball

Before I get to the album review, I must comment on the show Cheyenne. The show is the most boring reality show ever to be put on the television. Yes more boring than The Hills, more boring than My Fair Brady, I’d even suggest that if Al Gore or Tiger Woods had a reality show, Cheyenne would even be more boring than Al’s show. But at least it doesn’t chronicle how little talent she has much like the reality show did. With that said, the sleep inducing show will have no bearing on my review of the debut album by Cheyenne Kimball. Oh, so she does has a last name.

But her theme song, which happens to also be her first single, Hanging On is not off limits for this review. Her whiney, nasal voice is extremely hard to listen too, Ashlee Simpson at the Rose Bowl bad. Oh and she has had a bad day. I think I’ll pass on her suggestion to alleviate the problem by laugh about it anyways because I much rather sing a sad song just to turn it around.

Okay, cheesy jokes aside, starts of with a pretentious Intro, you rarely see that in the teen pop genre. After the Radiohead through the mind of a teenage girl starter, it’s time to rock with I Want To. Luckily the song doesn’t feature the annoying nasal singing from Hanging On but Kimball’s voice still sounds inexperienced here. One Original Thing (I won't point out the irony of someone who’s selling her album via a reality show wanting “One original thing”) is bouncy and will most like emanate from Middle Schools around the country by Halloween. At least that’s better then hearing under-aged girls constantly singing the cursed-filled like last summer.

Unfortunately throughout the album, nasal voice comes and goes which is really downer like on Good Go Bad and Everything. But when it comes down to it, The Day Has Come is music for those who liked ’s first album, but thought the second one was too edgy especially when Kimball sings the power pop Hello Goodbye. Cheyenne tries to get her on for the more sensitive songs These Four Walls and Full Circle but the former is plagued by the dreaded nasal voice during the chorus and she still can’t avoid sounding her age.

One thing Kimball has going for her is that she surrounded herself with a decent group of musicians who elevate some poor songs to actually listenable unlike say Ashlee Simpson whose backing band plays just about as good as she sings (yes, I’m trying to break the most Ashlee Simpson digs in a post). Maybe after she’s put a few more years behind her Kimball will have enough life experiences to put together to write enough songs and grow out of, or at least learn to avoid using her nasal voice. But then again, eventually did the same thing and look what happened to them.

Song to Download - I Want To

The Day Has Come gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


R.I.P. Syd Barrett


Shine On You Crazy Diamond.


For more on the life and death of Syd Barrett, check out this article on
vh1.com.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Lost Impressions - Chappelle’s Show


Last week during the review of the new Johnny Cash (see He Said “John Go Do My Will”) album I mentioned how it’s a touch subject releasing an album posthumously because you don’t really know if that is how the artist wanted you to hear the songs like that. Chappelle’s Show: The Lost Episodes get a little touchier because Dave Chappelle is still around and very adamant that Comedy Central not air the episodes that were to comprise of skits for the third season of his show before he shut down production an bolted for Africa.

But not to miss a way to milked their cash cow even after it dried up, the channel decided to package those skits together anyways with help from Chappelle’s former writing partner and friend Neil Brennan. Also on board are to take over hosting duties are Charlie Murphy and Donnell “I’m Rich biooootch” Rawlings. And the two were quick to explain why they would sell out their former employer, money and more camera time. I really don’t understand why they didn’t give Charlie Murphy his own show after Chappelle bolted because his True Hollywood Stories were the best skits plus there’s the whole legacy thing too. But anyways.

As for the skits, naturally they dealt with his recent enlarged bank account. The first one went long by the time he went to the IRS man. Then the payback skit was great for the first two segments but lost steam by the time he got to the dude in the wheelchair. On the other hand, the return of the whiter Chuck Taylor had me on the floor laughing, but I have a feeling those who haven’t heard the unedited version of Bring the Pain by Method Man were left scratching their heads. The clunker of the night was the is still alive sketch, a joke I beat to death about eight years ago. For the record, I think he is hanging out in Hawaii with Biggie, Elvis, and my sources tell me Ken Lay just arrived. But I digress.

For year, cable stations have repeated their shows about ten times a week, thirty for MTV. But last night showed a disturbing recent trend of showing the same episode back to back. I really never understood this, especially Rescue Me where you run the risk of turning in too soon and seeing the ending first because the show routinely runs over. Back to , if my math is correct, there are only two more “Lost” episodes and hopefully they squeeze another Charlie Murphy True Hollywood Story because from last night’s sketches, maybe Chappelle was right in wanting to keep them in the vault considering it wasn’t the funniest thing I saw on television yesterday. Instead that award goes to this video below:




Sunday, July 09, 2006

Trust the Power in My Voice


Who I Am - Alice Peacock

In a measure of full disclosure, I have to admit that the only reason why I gave a listen to an album by is because the similarity to the name of a girl I went to high school with. When the next reunion comes around I may have to thank her because what I found on the Chicago native’s sophomore album, were extremely refreshing songs that could be put on whenever I need time to relax. As she states in the title track, “There’s nobody else quite like me in this Wonderland.”

With softer piano based songs, the inevitable comparisons to another soothing songstress, , are easily heard. But Peacock does have a slight edge to here due to what seems to be a bad breakup. She doesn’t get as angry as , but the bitterness can definitely still be heard especially on Taught Me Well where she tells a former flame, “I thank my lucky stars everyday I’m not your wife.” Ouch. There is also a since of sarcasm to the opener, Different from the Rest, a song again about a past boyfriend, this one a letter to one on his wedding day thinking back to the day, “You asked me if I could tell the truth, and I said I couldn’t, that I didn’t love you.”

But Who I Am isn’t solely songs from a bitter woman. Baby Come Back is a heart wrenching plea for another chance. On the happier side of the spectrum, Runaway Day is a whimsical romp and could be a great soundtrack to a picnic. Then there’s the romantic Finding My Way that could fit on any occasion with your special one.

Another bright spot on the album is that the musicianship is always on point. Even though it is always subtle, you can tell all the musicians came in at the top of their game. The drumming on Taught Me Well is almost a march setting it up to be a something you may want to listen to while walking after getting out a bad situation. The title track on the other hand has grandeur about it with its ebb and flow.

There is also musical diversity to the album. Even though most of the songs are piano based like the staccatos of Anyone but Me, new instruments are introduced throughout the album including and acoustic guitar, strings, and even a French Horn on the soothing Sunflower. This breaks up the monotony that are the downfall of similar albums and should give you plenty hours of relaxing time listening to Alice Peacock for years to come.

Song to Download - Who I Am

Who I Am gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.