Monday, June 19, 2006

The Illest (Expletive Deleted) in a Cardigan Sweater


As I reported last week, Jamie Kennedy has a hilarious new video, Rollin’ with Saget out from his show which I posted thanks to YouTube (see - Am I Throwing You Off?). Unfortunately though, YouTube isn’t really known for its quality video resolution. So for those interested is seeing a better quality version of the video as well as being able to download it so you don’t have to deal with the pesky streaming video, iTunes is currently offering up the video for free. Granted there are some drawbacks to getting this video, the first and foremost being better quality of video means a better view of Tara Reid whose better off looked at in bad lighting. The other major problem being that the video is the censored version. But hey, it’s free. But you can still buy the uncensored song for ninety-nine cents. For some reason I cannot make a direct link to the free video, but just go to the TV page of iTunes and the ad should come up, feel free to use the two previous links to open the program for you to the show or song.

In other music related new, after weeks of very little quality albums to review, I’m currently working on three album reviews of albums coming out tomorrow so those will be coming in the next couple days. For those who want hints as to who that will be, one’s initials are NF, another is trying to avoid one hit wonder status, and that last had an acoustic song included on my last Car Mix. Bonus points to anyone who can guess the artists (and by bonus points, I mean a hearty pat on the back, well a virtual hearty pat on the back). One album I won’t be reviewing, on account that I don’t review live albums or greatest hits, is the new live album, New Amsterdam. But I will say you will be better off getting their previous double live album, Across a Wire which has a much better selection of their songs. The album is worth the price of admission sole for the live version of Anna Begins.

Other posts to look for, after the recent Lost 2.x review, I only have one show left to review, the Scooter Television Award for Best Show winner, Veronica Mars, so expect that in the new future along with the season two long Toss Up between the two previously mentioned show. So if you watch both shows religiously and enjoy my weekly series and would like to help me with a few suggestions on categories the show should battle out for, shoot me an e-mail as I’d like this last one to be as comprehensive as possible. I’m been racking my brain since the shows concluded, so you don’t really need to send along anything obvious or something I’ve mentioned in previous installments of the Toss Up series.

Finally, with summer in full swing, I have been toying with the idea of taking the weekends off. I’ve noticed a sharp decline in viewership to the 9th Green on weekends, since it’s started to warm up. Plus there is less to write about over the summer in the world of entertainment as there is really only one appointment TV show for me (Rescue Me). I did renew my Blockbuster subscription, so I should have more DVD reviews than I done recently, which have been basically none. And on the subject of Blockbuster, and this goes to those who prefer Netflix for some reason, with little worth watching over the summer, may I suggest added Veronica Mars to your queue if you have yet to watch the show. And if you don’t have any DVD subscriptions, you may want to check out your local library to see if they have a copy as a group has raised a lot of money to buy up the show’s DVD’s and donate them to libraries across the country. Veronica Mars is a most see show and if you don’t watch it, you are totally a television snob, not that I’m entirely sure what a musical snob is.


Saturday, June 17, 2006

This Is Not Your Island, This Is Our Island


Lost 2.x

Last season, Lost started out the gate as the show with the most buzz. This fake Survivor type show was full of interesting and diverse characters, intertwining flashbacks, and a mysterious island that was a character unto itself. All along the journey first season, we were surprised and shocked at all the twists and turns in the flashbacks and on the island, the biggest being that Locke was in a wheelchair at the time of departure. But something happened last season that too most of the wind out of the Lost sail, namely the finale. If the first season moved at breakneck pace, the finale slogged along for three hours as we sat and said, “Just go down the hatch already.” We had to put up with boring flashbacks of the survivors as the prep for the plane along with a long and boring montage of them actually boarding the plane only to have the last image of the season being a group looking down the hatch.

So after a summer of complaining, the people over at Lost gave us what we wanted right off the bat, not that we knew what we were looking at. When the castaways finally descended into the hatch, we got to see it in three straight episodes, once from Jack’s perspective, along with Locke’s and Kate’s. I was surprised we didn’t get to see it for a fourth time in Desmond’s flashback. And since this was the season of see the same thing over again. We also got to see the second confrontation with Zeke, Jin reuniting with Sawyer and Michael on the beach, and the token hot chick’s death scene more than once.

Unfortunately season started off much like the season one finale ended where we sat around waiting for something to happen as we sit threw flashbacks that are not all that interesting. Then when something actually did happen, it was either was pretty obvious like the token hot chick dieing, or I just stopped caring a long time ago like learning how the plane crashed. And now that characters are getting their third and fourth flashbacks, they just seem less interesting. Then there was the Rose and Bernard flashback which had to be the most boring one yet. Yeah, the island has healing powers; I got that with the first Locke flashback. C’mon, couldn’t we have a Rousseau, Libby, or even an Others flashback?

But as the season progress, it did get a little better and that was all due to the inclusion of Not-Henry Gale. Yeah, it was pretty obvious from the get go that Not-Henry was an Other, but that didn’t stop his character from being interesting as he tried to drive a wedge between Jack and Locke. And who knew that when he reunited with Zeke and the boys that they could be so funny but I find it interesting as the Other’s revealed each other’s names, we still didn’t learn Not-Henry’s. And even though he looked to be in charge on the pier, I’m still not sold on Not-Henry being Him.

The second finale seemed like a new show onto itself as we learn more about Desmond, a character we barely got to know before he left. Then we get longer glances at the Others and we see them interact as well as new setting including the giant foot that I’m surprised why everyone is so hung up on the four toes thing. Then there was the last scene, where we got the first look at the outside world with the Artic station and the call to Desmond’s former girlfriend. But with Lost, we were left with many unanswered questions as well as the answers (well, at least my speculation):


- Why did the Others want Jack, Kate, and Sawyer? (They were the one’s who went after Michael, but they don’t want Locke because of his former paralysis)

- What’s with the giant four toed foot? (It was built by Polynesians that lived, or still live, on the island and only put four toes because they are lazy.)

- Who is Him? (Penny’s daddy)


- What was with the bright light and loud noise? (The island resetting large electrical charge.)

- What are the fates of Locke, Eko, and Desmond? (Alive, alive, and alive.)

- Why was Libby in the mental institution? (The death of her husband sent her into a deep depression.)

- What happen to Cindy, the flight attendant? (Was captured by the Others)

- What’s up with the Hanso Foundation and Dharma Initiative? (I think I need to watch the orientation films again.)

- Who’s Sun’s baby daddy? (Artificial inseminated, sperm donor - Zeke)

- Who did Carol Vessey leave Jack for? (Um, Ed maybe?)

- Why did the others let Walt leave after doing so much to get him? (Much like Desmond, they know he will be back.)

- Who eyeball was in the tailies’ hatch? (Some one we haven’t met)


Oh and course, there are still these unanswered questions from last year (with some revised answers from what I originally thought at the end of last season; see - Guys (Dramatic Pause) Where Are We?):

- How did Locke get in the wheelchair? (Shot by his dad after stalking him.)

- What is the monster? (A Hanzo experiment gone wrong.)

- Why did the fortune teller change his mind about Claire keeping her baby? (He was paid off by the Others.)

- How did Jack single handedly beat up Ethan Rom after be beaten like a red headed step child days earlier? (Ethan let him win.)

- Why would Sayid hook up with Shannon after being so close to finding his true love? (I, personally forget about any past loves if I had a chance with Shannon.)

- What's with the numbers? (Just a way to connect everyone and everything.)

- What did the French chick say to Hurley to calm him down? (Gave him some French lovin’)

- Why did Claire name here kid Aaron? If she lost all her memory, what could the significance of this be? (I think the writers screwed up.)

- What did the Others want with Walt? (He can control the monster.)

I may add more to this list later. Feel free to leave any unanswered question in the comment section and if I add it, I’ll give you credit and even try answering it for you.

Lost 2.x gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won two STA’s.


Friday, June 16, 2006

Musings From the Back 9 vol. X - Sports Edition


- For those who watched the season finale of Everybody Hates Chris, you saw a hilarious montage about how people go all out for Mother’s Day, but Father’s Day is basically an afterthought for most of us. But it looks like Major League Baseball, after going all out with their breast cancer awareness on Mother’s Day (see - Think Pink), are not forgetting the less fair sex. This Sunday at all MLB games they will be holding the 7th Inning Stretch an inning early. Why you ask, it’s to point out that one out of every six male will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. Granted not as cool as pink bats, nor is it getting the same amount of press (I couldn’t even find anything about it on espn.com), but it is something.

- Much like many of March Madness brackets where I knew I was out of it after the first weekend, I think you can put a fork in my World Cup picks. After the first full week of games I’ve gotten ten of twenty games right putting me in almost in the fortieth percentile. Of course I doubt I’m not the only one that had Equator advancing. But I did have the four other teams that have already punched their tickets in (Germany, England, Argentina, Netherlands, see the rest of my picks - Are You Ready for Some Football?). Hopefully the USA can pull out a win against Italy so I can salvage that pick of them advancing.

- To protect his strained oblique muscle, Big Head Barry has taken to wearing a girdle. The oversized dome is now officially gone from laughable to sad. I don’t even know what else to say.

- Lastly, I would like thank everyone who participated in yesterday’s Lyrics Quiz as it was one of the rare quizzes where I didn’t have to go to the hints to get some guessed. Granted the power ballad is a pretty narrow subject as most of them hold a soft spot in our hearts. I’m not too surprised that Guppyman came out triumphant because the theme seemed right up his alley and now he is firmly planted on my Lyrics Quiz Winners list on my sidebar. If you would like to join him, or move higher up the list, be sure to stop back July 15th for the one year anniversary of the Lyrics Quiz on the 9th Green when I may have an extra special edition. Well most likely not.

- And on an non-sports related topic (if ESPN is showing the dominos championships, the lyrics quiz can fall in that category too; it’s a competition) my sister site, Scooter McGavin Takes Pictures, has an interesting story that may just give some insights into season three of Veronica Mars that involves Deputy Sacks. And who wouldn’t want more Sacks? So be sure to check that out.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Lyrics Quiz: Power Ballads


Nothing I like better in the summer is head down to the local amptheater, lie on the grass, and some moron pour some bear on me. Fun times. After the beer bath, the next best thing is when the band pulls out the stools and acoustic guitars, dims down the lights, all that tells us that it’s time to bring out the lighters. I don’t, and have never smoked, but I still bought a lighter solely for this purpose. That and it’s has some great uses for annoying your roommate in college, but that’s a story for another day. And the previous reason for the lighter is the basis for this month’s lyrics quiz, as these are all songs that would inspire me to break out my lighter whenever I hear them, whether it’s a concert, reunion, or bar mitzvah. As always, put both the song title and artist in the comment section and if you are right, I will un-bold the song and give you credit. Now onto the quiz (feel free to raise your own lighter while participating):


1. You know I don’t like being stuck in the crowd, and the streets don’t change but maybe the names. (Patience - Guns 'n' Roses; guessed by Medium Large Phill)
2. Baby, baby, baby, when all your love is gone, who will save me from all I’m up against out in this world? (Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty; guessed by Medium Large Phill)
3. She’ll tell you she’s an orphan after you meet her family. (She Talks to Angels - The Black Crowes; guessed by duckyxdale)
4. I can’t stop now I’ve traveled so far, to change this lonely life. (I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner; guessed by Guppyman)
5. You say you’ve cried a thousand rivers, and now you’re swimming for the shore. You left me downing in my tears and you won’t save me anymore. (I'll Be There for You - Bon Jovi; guessed by Guppyman)
6. You’re such a secret, misty eyed and shady. Lady how you hold the key. (Bringing on the Heartbreak - Def Leppard; guessed by Guppyman)
7. She loved him. She don’t want to leave this way, she feed him, that’s why she’ll be back again. (Betterman - Pearl Jam; guessed by Kristi)
8. I listen to her favorite song playing on the radio, hear the DJ say love’s a game of easy come and easy go. (Every Rose Has its Thorn - Poison; guessed by Guppyman)
9. Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace. (Fix You - Coldplay; guessed by Russ)
10. I know I never meant to cause you no pain and I realize I let you down, but I know in my harden hearts, I know I’m never gonna hurt you again. (I Wish it Would Rain Down - Phil Collins; guessed by Bone)
11. I know it’s everybody sins, you got to lose to know how to win. (Dream On - Aerosmith - guessed by Guppyman)
12. I got a pocket full of money and a pocket full of keys that have no bound. (Can't Get You Off of My Mind - Lenny Kravitz; guessed by Bone)
13. Never cared for what they said, never cared for games they play, never cared they do. (Nothing Else Matters - Metallica; guessed by Russ)

14. When you cried I wipe away all of your tears, when you scream I fight away all of your fears. (My Immortal - Evanescence; guessed by Kristi)
15. Time to take a ride; it leaves today, no conversation. (Big Empty - Stone Temple Pilots; guessed by Kristi)
16. So you think that it’s over, you figure love has finally reached the end, any time you call, night or day, I’ll be right there for you if you need a friend. (Love Song - Tesla; guessed by Guppyman)
17. You played dead, but you never bled, instead you laid still in the grass all coiled up and hissing. (Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon; guessed by duckyxdale)
18. As we die, both you and I with my head in my hands I sit and cry. (Don't Speak - No Doubt; guessed by Presentstorm)

19. I just made one mistake; I didn’t know what to say when you called me baby. (High Enough - Damn Yankees; guessed by Guppyman)
20. I don’t need to be the king of the world as long as I’m the hero of this little girl. (Heaven - Warrant; guessed by Guppyman)
21. Cause all of the stars have faded away, just don’t try to worry, you’ll see them someday. (Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Oasis; guessed by Kristi)
22. Now maybe, didn’t mean to treat you bad, but I did it anyways. (Far Behind - Candlebox; guessed by Kristi)
23. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now. (Iris - Goo Goo Dolls; guessed by Russ)
24. What day is it and in what month? (You and Me - Lifehouse; guesssed by Angie)
25. My heart’s like an open book for the whole world to read, sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams. (Home Sweet Home - Mötley Crüe; guessed by Guppyman)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Am I Throwing You Off?


There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. (If you want to buy the video, the title goes to iTunes if available, inside the description goes to the song where you can buy.)


Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado featuring Timberland



Before I talk about the video, let me say little word about the song first. It seems like every time someone mentions this song they make a My Humps or Hollaback Girl comparison, but I think that’s totally unwarranted. With the He Said/She Said back and forth, Promiscuous the song is actually an off shoot of the 90’s rap classic I Got a Man. Now about the video I could talk about how hot Nelly Furtado is or the inexplicable appearance, but instead I want to talk about Timberland. If rap had a drug policy, Timberland would be slapped with a 50 day suspension by now. Dude makes Big Head Barry look like Barry Bonds circa when I Got a Man was popular. Oh and Nelly: I’d repect that if you let me hit it (I love the wiggle she does when she says that line) and what’s with JT being in the video?


I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie



This video hasn’t made its way to YouTube yet, so you will have to click over to Yahoo’s video section to see it. I Will Follow You Into the Dark is quite possibly the most romantic song ever about death. As for the video, I’m sure there is some deep meaning into the hole in the floor, oh, wait, it’s the “dark” referred in the song. I get it now.


Boston - Augustana



There was some confusion when I added this song to my latest mixtape. Boston is the song name, not the group that brought us More Than a Feeling. The video is pretty cool too and I love how the tide coming in syncs up to the crescendo of the song.


Rollin' with Saget - Jamie Kennedy



I have been meaning to check out , but I somehow always seem to miss it as MTV because they have been showing the least interesting chick from Laguna Beach new show ad nasium. But after see the video for Rollin' with Saget, I may have to hunt it down. I hope you caught cameos by Uncle Jesse, George Lucas, and Tara Reid as Paris Hilton (and no, I won’t be showing her horrible new video anytime soon).


Crazy - Gnarls Barkley




Yeah, I could have shown the uber-cool Rorschach Test version of Crazy, but c’mon, it’s Chewbacca on the drums.

And just a reminder, Lyrics Quiz tomorrow, and as a hint, have you lighters ready.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Don’t Stop Doing What You Believe In


Move by Yourself - Donavon Frankenreiter

One crime against humanity two years ago is how the general public ignored one of the catchiest songs in recent years with Free by . For most people, sadly they just thought it was written for a car commercial. Granted I’m as much to blame as I overlooked his album. But that isn’t the case the second time around as I gave a listen to his follow up . This time around he’s no longer on fellow surfer tuned musician ’s Brushfire label and goes with more of a seventies vibe.

The album starts of with the one two punch of the title track and The Way it Is. Move by Yourself is a funky dance track with keyboards that sound right off the , and I don’t mean that in a bad way because Donavan’s laid-back silky vocal compliment the track. The Way It Is may slow it down just a slight, but the keyboards will still be able to keep you moving. Either song would do well to get any party started this summer.

Unfortunately when Donavon slows things down real slow starting with By Your Side, the songs lose the intensity of the upbeat tracks and are too mellow to the point they almost put you to sleep. This is most noticeable on Fool, a long jam, that may play a lot better live, under the stars at a concert, but on an album, I kept looking to see when it would end. Things get back on track at the end when Donavon bring some gospel singers to help him out on All Around Us and he also finally masters the slower song when he closes the album with the most simplistic song on the album, Beautiful Day. And no, it’s not a cover.

Song to Download - Move by Yourself

Move by Yourself gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Monday, June 12, 2006

Car Mix - June 2006


Every once in a while I like to compile a list of songs that I’m currently listening to onto a CD to listen to in the car. So here’s some suggestions of songs that you should be listening to. The CD comes in at 76:58.

1. Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall (see my album review - Her Face Is the Map of the World)
2. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
3. Hips Don’t Lie - Shakira & Wyclef Jean
4. Touch the Sky - Kanye West & Lupe Fiasco (see my album review - You Gotta Love Though, Somebody Still Speaks from His Soul)
5. Number One - Pharrell & Kanye West
6. Crazy Times (Team9) - Gnarls Barkley vs. Prince (For those keeping track at home, this is a mash-up of Crazy and Sign 'o' the Times)
7. Drive Slow - Kanye West, Paul Wall, & GLC
8. Cash Machine - Hard-FI (Another great Single of the Week)
9. Walk Away and I’ll Wait (Aggro1) - Kelly Clarkson vs. Van Halen (What mix tape would be complete without a Kelly Clarkson remix, this time with Van Halen getting the mash-up treatment)
10. Dani California’s Last Dance (Laptop Punk) - Red Hot Chili Peppers vs. Tom Petty (Apparently someone pointed out that Dani California sound similar to Mary Jane's Last Dance, even though I really don't hear it, but that didn't stop an unknown mash-up artist from putting the two songs together)
11. World Wide Suicide - Pearl Jam (I hope you got this back when Pearl Jam had it up for free on their website, if not, it is worth the .99)
12. Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
13. Steady, As She Goes (Acoustic) - The Raconteurs (This and the next song were both Free Singles of the week on iTunes, but instead of getting the album versions, we get acoustic versions of their latest songs. Hopefully this tread continues)
14. Put Your Records On (Acoustic) - Corrine Bailey Rae
15. Not About Love - Fiona Apple (see my album review - I Promise You Everything Will be Just Fine)
16. Boston - Augustana
17. Brand New Way - Rhett Miller (see my album review - Sex in Wartime Is Sweeter than Peace)
18. Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray (I always find it interesting whenever a former Free Single of the Week makes it into the top 25 downloaded list on iTunes, luckily, I got this song back when it was free)
19. Sway - The Perisher (This was featured during the Sadie Hawkins dance episode on Veronica Mars and it sounded familiar and lo and behold, I downloaded it back when it was a Free Single of the Week)
20. You’re Pitiful - “Weird Al” Yankovic (For those that made it to the end of my lengthy MTV Movie Awards recap saw this gem where Al is letting you download his latest parody on his website. Get it before he takes it down before you have to pay .99 for it by clicking on the song name)

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Sometimes You've Got to Die to be Born Again


Songs from Black Mountain - Live

If there was such things as a one album wonder, then Throwing Copper by the band Live would be one. Yeah, they have had a couple good songs since, but they have since been unable to release a complete album that rivals the intensity of their breakthrough album. It is almost surprising to find out the band has recently released their fifth album since with the release of Songs from Black Mountain.

The new album follows along the line of the last couple Live albums in that it has one or two decent song while the rest is pretty much you standard modern rock filler. This album’s decent song is The River, not that it’s too easy to distinguish from last album’s Heaven. Both have that bland, maybe it sound better live (no pun intended) vibe. Then it takes to the end of the album before something else comes close to making an impression on me with Night of Nights where the band actually mixes things up reminiscent of songs on Throwing Copper.

In between is your run of the mill modern rock that has bored true rock fans since the death of grunge and alternative rock but has given careers to such throwaway bands as and (granted Ed Kowalczyk is a much better singer than those frontmen). During Get Ready, it sounds like Ed is even bored with the song until the choir shows up and he picks things up. Home is your token anti-war song even though they say they are putting “politics aside” in the song. Sophia is the token love song, well, that’s if you like being told that you are needed “like a junkie need a vein.” Yeah, that’s romantic.

Then for some reason, they threw in the subtitle A Song for My Daughters about God for Love Shines. Did we really need this clarification? Could this been something revealed in interviews or in the liner notes? Basically it looks like a desperate attempt to crack into the Christian music market. Overall Songs from Black Mountain is mediocre, which sometimes is worse than being bad for a band that used to write classic songs.

Song to Download - The River

Songs from Black Mountain gets a Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

First Impressions - Hex


HexBeing an alleged television snob, I really don’t stray away from the fifteen to twenty channels I watch even though my television gets around a thousand. So it really takes a lot to get me to those channels not on my radar like Denis Leary starring in on FX. BBC America is another channel that really isn’t in my rotation and is at a bigger disadvantage because it’s on my digital tier putting it in the triple digits. Yes I am so lazy to the point where I don’t like punching three buttons on my remote. But nothing like Buffy comparisons to get me to watch a show (one of the reasons I started watching but aside from the blonde heroine, they are unwarranted) and so I found time to catch what has been dubbed the British Buffy, .

Meet your new blonde heroineAgain we have a hot blonde at the forefront of the show but for supernatural portion of the Buffy comparison are witches, demons, and ghosts. And there is even a lesbian sidekick. But Hex is missing what was great about Buffy in that it dealt with it other worldly inhabitants with a touch of camp, something that Hex is lacking. Or at least I think it is, the problem with this show is that I don’t speak British (for those unaware, despite having America in its name, the channel only airs shows from the BBC). It is this reason why I couldn’t get into the original version of because I couldn’t get many of the jokes, but then again I sometimes have the same problem with the American version.

Another difference besides the language barrier for the American Buffy is the nudity. And by nudity I mean naked dudes. C'mon, the main characters are chick, yet they all remain fully clothed. And even with a lesbian in cast, there wasn’t even girl on girl make out session. Although since the lesbian isn’t one of those you would see on one of those Girls Gone Wild videos, that might be a good thing. But anyways.

And her friends and enemiesLanguage barriers and male nudity aside, for the two hour première, Hex moved along so slowly, it made look like Veronica Mars in comparison and I jumped from the Invasion ship within a month because it was putting me to sleep. But with the lack of campiness and slow moving plots, not to mention the whole demon angle, would be a much better comparison to the show than , but I’m not entirely sure if that is a good or bad thing. Point Pleasant was a show that was all about un-reached potential; it had the makings of being a great show, but didn’t make it there before Fox pulled the plug. But with two seasons already under it’s belt, maybe Hex will eventually maximize its.

Verdict: If I remember, I may give it another couple try, but if it doesn’t pick up, I may just check out the spoilers of what happens. Hex airs Thursdays at 10:00 on BBC America.

Friday, June 09, 2006

We on Award Tour - 2006 MTV Movie Awards


Jessica Alba hosts the 2006 MTV Movie AwardsMTV Award shows usually are as good as their host so I was a little skeptical when it was announced that Jessica Alba was hosting thinking back to the Lindsay Lohan Dance Off debacle of last year. Or was it two years ago; was there a Jimmy Fallon bombfest in between? And that in lies the problem, there hasn’t been a memorable Movie Awards host since Jack Black and Sarah Michelle Gellar hooked up. Here’s a look at this year’s festivities:

- First we have to start off with the obligatory pre-show this time with guest reporters and the dude from . And for those who think Rihanna sounds extremely bored when she’s sing, she was even more anemic while talking. As for Fall Out Boy, yeah Sugar We’re Going Down is catchy, but I’m totally over them since making the sized video. Now it’s time for them to go to the pseudo-punk where all the other band of the like have gone after minimal success. Say hi to while you’re there boys.

- announced her next album is going to be a double-album. Great that means twice as much music for me to ignore. Seriously, if I wanted to listen to jazz music, I’d break out my album; you really need to go back to coy pop double entendre like Genie in a Bottle.

- Not to be outdone by sports programs that have sponsored everything out except the National Anthem, the MTV Awards, instead of a Green Room, have the Neutrogena Amber Room. I shouldn’t mock too much because coming soon to the 9th Green is the Adidas Lyrics Quiz and the Scooter Hall of Fame brought to you by Heineken.

- Also seen multiple times of the blue carpet was Joe Simpson. Dude must have incriminating photo’s of very powerful people because I can’t understand how him and his daughters have stayed in the spotlight for so long.

- And now on to the big show with what I believe was a Mission Impossible 3 spoof (I only know this because its theme music played at the end). I have no clue why Topher Grace was there, but the whole bit was saved by . I really can’t wait until the inevitable second edition of Flavor of Love.

- Luckily we are spared from an Alba monologue by Andy Sanburg as Mr. Google in a funny bit. Here’s a wild idea, why didn’t they have Mr. Lazy Sunday co-host the show? Or ? Or any comedian not named Jimmy Fallon? Really, if I wanted to stare at Jessica Alba, I could have just googled her like the bit suggested.

- Another reason why the award show has gone downhill, instead of randomly picking presenters for comic effect (think Busta Rhymes and Martha Stewart) they resort to just putting together from the same upcoming movie much like having the cast of Superman Returns present Best Hero. Hopefully the verbal beat down Batman gave to Superman during his acceptance speech may lead to the much rumored Superman vs. Batman movie.

- For Best Kiss, routinely repeats the phrase “ranch hand jobs.” Yeah, that should really help stop those pesky gay rumors.

- Crap, a Jimmy Fallon sighting. And it’s for parody of yet another movie I haven’t seen, The Da Vinci Code. And what Movie Awards wouldn’t be complete without an Andy Dick sighting. And that begs the question, Where’s Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn?

Gnarls Barkley with Chewbacca on drums- Should I know who Borat is? But anyways. The dude is out to present the highlight of the night (asides from Flavor Flav), who were in full Star Wars gear with Chewbacca on drums. Classic. Between this performance and the uber catch Crazy, Cee-Lo is almost forgiven for raising a daughter who got her own My Super Sweet 16 episode (um, not that I watch that show or anything). In fact the song is so good, I may start my own cover band, Gnawn Bradley. And the Barkley karma was so good, Darth Vader promptly wins best villain.

- Alba wins the Sexiest Award and thanks all the perverts out there. Um, you’re welcome, I guess.

- It’s nice to hear back on MTV to accompany Adam Sandler out. He’s out to present the Best Performance, with his Click co-star of course. I really don’t like these new serious awards MTV are heading to. But the award went to the dude from Bubble Boy, so how credible can the award be?

- Aside from Alba in her underwear, the King Kong parody was a waste of time. Stay away from comedy Jessica and stick to, um, well, um, yeah, um, never mind.

It's a man, baby- Christina Aguilera is out next as she looks more and more like a drag queen every day. C’mon, take out the fake breasts, stop putting stuff in your hair, lay off the excessive makeup, and return to asking me to rub you the right way.

- Speaking of shameless plug, Will Ferrell is out to run down the long list of sponsors in addition to those already on his jumpsuit. Not nearly as funny as the scene from Wayne’s World, in fact it wasn’t funny at all. And did anyone notice the blatant cut during his thing? But anyways. Ferrell is out to present Best Comedic Performance and apparently the Wedding Chashers duo split their votes because that’s the only way Steve Carell could win.

Say it with me - Flavor Flav!- The Silver Bucket of Excellence was awarded to Do the Right Thing. Again with the seriousness. Please stop. Remember the good old days when they gave these awards to Shaft?

- Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are teaming up again. Yawn.

- Thank goodness for the performance because it gave me a chance to check out the end of the Astros game on TBS. Whoever suggested this band should be fired. Doesn’t the have an album to promote?

- Chris “” Bridges I up next. Why does the rapper insist on using his real name for acting purposes? You don’t the clock dude going around calling himself William “Flavor Flav” Drayton, you don’t see Ice-T’s real name in the credits for Law and Order.

- Next up is the first ever MTV Generations Award given to Jim Carrey. Remember the good ol’ days when Carrey and Sandler won Best Comedic Performance every year? Those were good time. It’s interesting during his retrospective, they didn’t bleep out “There’s a lot of fine looking pussy here tonight” yet they did back when he originally uttered the line. Of course that was back in the day they were still banning the word “pimp” and now they even have a show with it in its title. Wow, I feel old now.

- Instead of the first time filmmaker award, we now get the student filmmaker award which was heavily edited. I give it two years before it’s edited out of the whole program like its predecessor.

- Sam Jackson is out to present the granddaddy of them all, Best Picture. But before he hands that off to Wedding Crashers, he gives a shameless plug to his latest film, Snakes on a Plane. Normally I go off on things like this, but since it’s Sam Jackson promoting something as silly as Snakes on a Plane, I’ll let it slide. Plus I was laughing the whole time epecially when he hints at the sequil, More Mother(Expletive Deleted)ing Snakes on Another Mother(Expletive Deleted)ing Plane.


As a whole, the awards were another borefest, but if you are interested in watching it, not only can you wait for MTV to repeated ad nausea, you can watch individual segments on their broadband channel, Overdrive. I highly suggest the Flavor Flav bit and the Gnarls Barkley performance and skip the rest.

Now for something unrelated to the awards but under the rule of ask and you shall receive, Annie asked for more , and it just so happens that Al is offering up his latest parody, You’re Pitiful on his website (click his name). So if you are a fan of Al or just hate (yep it’s a parody of You’re Beautiful), this is a must download. I personally love the beginning of the song.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Are You Ready for Some Football?


Of course, by football, I’m referring to European football. Now it doesn’t take me much to get revved up for the World Cup. Unlike the Olympics, which also come around every four year (well two alternating summer and winter), there is no overload, because it’s only one sport to focus on. And this years Cup will be extra exciting this year because this will be the first time I’ll be participating in a fantasy World Cup run by . Unfortunately it strays away from the tried and tested fantasy behemoth, March Madness brackets because you can change your pick to win the game up to the start of the game (Germany time of course). Since the bracket are set ( Winner of bracket A plays the 2nd place team in bracket B and so on) they should have set it up much like March Madness where you had to choose the top two teams for each bracket, giving a point for each one right, then two points for picking the right quarterfinals and so on. Maybe I should copyright this idea for an office pool in 2010 (um, I mean I already copyrighted it, so don’t try stealing my idea). But using that idea, here are my pick for who will compete in the round of 16 and so on:

Sweet 16
Germany vs. England (1A vs. 2B)
Argentina vs. Angola (1C vs. 2D)
Sweden vs. Costa Rica (1B vs. 2A)
Portugal vs. Netherlands (1D vs. 2C)
Czech Republic vs. Croatia (1E vs. 2F)
France vs. Ukraine (1G vs. 2H)
Brazil vs. United States (1F vs. 2E)
Spain vs. Switzerland (1H vs. 2G)

Quarterfinals
Germany vs. Argentina
Sweden vs. Netherlands
Czech Republic vs. Ukraine
Brazil vs. Spain

Semifinals
Germany vs. Sweden
Czech Republic vs. Brazil

Finals
Brazil over Germany (3-1)


Then back stateside, the biggest story is of Jason Grimley whose house recently got raided because of Human Growth Hormones. And of course everyone’s favorite oversized dome is prominently featured in the story. According to Grimsley’s attorney, the reason why his house was raided was because he refused to wear a wire in hopes to dig up dirt on Big Head Barry. And some of the Monsters also appear as Grimsley has been teammates of both Rafael Palmeiro and Sammy Sosa. And to add intrigue to him naming names (which you know will come out within a week) Grimsley became a Yankee around the time they were winning a bunch of World Titles as well as my hometown Indians when the had the massive offensive explosion in the mid-nineties well he also made a name for himself by crawling through the air ducts in Chicago to steal Joey Bell’s corked bat.

And here’s a lesson to all those people out there who watch too much Sopranos, if the Feds com knocking out your door asking you to do something, unless you have a mob boss backing you up, do it.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I'm Going to Miss You and Your Sullan Ways


The cast of EverwoodAnd so it ends, after getting booted around by the WB last season, and bumped from the inaugural CW schedule for a last second reprise of 7th Heaven (not to mention CW giving a spot to the worst show on television that doesn’t feature dudes singing karaoke, One Tree Hill), Everwood has ended. And I’m not really holding my breath for a midseason revival. If there was any chance of one, I’m sure it would have been talked about already by the higher up. Now on to the review of the last season.

As the season begun, we were promised a wedding, but it only learned out to be a renewal of vows, but this event unfortunately brought back Ephram to town. If there was one sore spot to the earlier season of the show was the amount of whining that boy did. Yeah he had good reason with the whole getting uprooted to move to the middle of nowhere and his daddy paying off his baby mama to leave town, but there is a point where you can’t take anymore and I found myself switching channels whenever he came onscreen. Luckily an epiphany came to piano boy while in Europe, because he came back much more tolerable. But that did mean he still took up valuable screen time from my favorite Everwood denizens Dr. Abbott, Hannah, and Irv.

I'll miss you Harold AbbottDr. Abbott certainly had his shares of ups and downs this season and Tom Amandes hit every note just right (did I mention I met him, see - My Dinner with Dr. Abbott). He made it through his wife’s cancer stronger and even attempted to adopt an African baby after his trip there. All the while Dr. Abbott even foun the time to watch Beauty and the Geek sometime this season. But you just ache with him when he realized his omission of his wife’s cancer was found out during an interview. But thanks to the nice little bow that put on the finale, he got his baby after the crazy chick left her’s on his doorstep.

Hannah in darker timesThen there was Hannah whose tedium part of her relationship with Bright was even more entertaining than the start of it. And I knew as soon as it began, it would end badly as Bright finally gave into his manly urges and got it own with the chick from Nip/Tuck. Unfortunately thanks to the nice little bow put on the end of the show, she pretty much forgives him by going choosing Colorado A&M over Notre Dame. Well at least she got her prom before he cheated.

Then after a season of near deaths, Edna having heart problems, not-gay dude committing suicide, and Bright going through a window, it was Irv that bit the big one. This wasn’t too surprising as he was off on his book tour most of the season and it seems these days on television, instead of coming up with new storylines for characters, they just kill them off instead and Irv ended up being the latest casualty of this trend. Well that and the age old rule that the black dude’s always the first one to die.

One major problem this season is that it looked as if the writers gave up on storylines midseason so they could wrap up the show in a nice little bow realizing this could be the lat season. So feminist Amy is dropped unfortunately before any lesbian activities and in time for to make up with uber-conservative Hannah and reunite with Ephram who also dumped his new girlfriend for his one true love. And Amy’s professor, who looked like she was brought in to be a love interest for Andy, promptly disappeared paving the way for him to hook up with Nina. And that begs the question: who drives their own car to the airport when they are moving out of town? Wouldn’t they drive it to Los Angeles or have someone drop them off at the airport if they were leaving the car in Colorado so they would incur the massive parking fees airports charge? Then their was Delia who was slowly turning into a B Girl only to do a one-eighty so she could end the show happily too, even getting the pony she was promised in the first episode.

But instead of crying over the loss of the show, I will instead look at the bight side, first and foremost, that means there will be one less hour stuck in front of the television come fall. Then, without the show, it almost guarantees a fourth season of Veronica Mars being it the only quality drama on the CW and considering it’s doubtful 7th Heaven will make it another season (although I still would put money on a spin-off) nor will One Tree Hill after getting crushed by Lost and karaokers (not to mention Supernatural in the Thursday 9:00 death hour slot) so barring the New Kid on the Block show being any good and an onslaught of good pilots, our favor Neptune resident will be back for 2007-2008 season. And by favorite Neptune resident, I am referring to Dick Casablancas. Now I just need to find some wood to knock on.

Everwood 4.x gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.
It also won a STA.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Though I’m Young and Cynical it’s Not My Only Crime


Like Blood Like Honey - Holly Brook

may strike up images of a local creek, but the twenty year old is currently invading your radio singing the haunting chorus to ’s Where’d You Go. But don’t expect any hip hop beats or guest spots from Mike Shinoda or other rappers on her debut, . Instead the album is strictly part of a Lilith Fair revival where Holly pours out her soul while switching effortlessly from the piano to the guitar.

But as heard on Where’d You Go, Brook is more deep than her contemporizes sets the tone with the opening lines to the opening track, Giving it Up for You where she tells us, “Though I’m young and cynical, it’s not my only crime.” The song itself sounds like an edgier version of songs heard on ’s debut. And when I say edgy, I’m not talking about the manufactured edginess of singers like . Then there's What I Wouldn't Give which shows a much more vulnerable side. As for influences, they run the gambit of female singer songwriters; Wanted is reminiscent of something from ’s prime. Saturdays acoustic quickly beat sound like something could have came up with. Heavy brings up thoughts of but much more palatable.

Even though Holly doesn’t get as experimental as another artist she is compared too, , Brook branch out more musically than other singer songwriters of the day. This is helped by Brook’s knowledge of multiple instruments so she can switch from one to another without bogging the album with tedium and knows when to bring in other instruments into the equation to highlight the song. She can also bring things down, ending the album her and the guitar on All Will be Forgotten then spotlights her piano on the closer Cellar Door. Maybe after a couple more years and albums under her belt Holly Brook can get to the place where Fiona recently reached herself.

Song to Download - Wanted

Like Blood Like Honey gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Monday, June 05, 2006

Suit Up


How I Met Your Mother castI have to admit I wanted How I Met Your Mother to fail before I ever saw an episode because I wanted Trina Echolls to be free to pop in on her little brother on Veronica Mars, but unfortunately the show ended up not sucking massively and even was one of the first shows CBS renewed for next fall. Luckily Alyson Hannigan wa still able to squeeze a trip to Neptune this pass year.

That’s not to say the show had a few incidents that had shark jumping potential even in its first season. The biggest being the first episode where they built up Robin as this great love for Ted only to end the show with future Ted telling his kids “that’s how I met your Aunt Robin.” Of course that leads to another problem in the narration where future Ted tells his kids about stories now parent would share like his one night stand with Winnie Cooper. Then half way through the show, the future kids disappear from the show completely as if we, the viewer, wouldn’t notice. Then the show ended its season much like it started with Ted blindly pining over Robin. You already told us they are not ending up together so why waste our time?

Flight Suit Up!Okay, enough with the negative, let’s get to the good stuff: Doogie Howser. Doogie’s character on the show is so great, I may even start referring to him as Barney in the near future. First off, Barney is good for a new catch phrase that I would be using obsessively by Tuesday morning, with some of my favorites being the Lemon Law, Legendary, and of course Suit Up. Unfortunately my cousin Ted is married so I can’t do the, “Have you met Ted?” And there is his pinnacle of practical jokes when he got Robin to do the Ickey Shuffle on live television. Classic. You could stick Barney on any show and I’d watch it, he’s that entertaining.

Lily and MarshallThen there is Marshall and Lily who surprisingly avoid being the obnoxious couple even when they go into their lovey dovey moments. I chalk that up to Alyson Hannigan who can easily portray the guy’s girl then switch to the girly girl effortlessly. And the former Willow even brought in some of here Buffy-verse almni as former Wesley Wyndam-Price, who just happens to be Hannigan’s real life husband, stopped by for an arc as Robin’s co-anchor/stalker and former Fred even stopped by as a former Barney conquest. But my favorite guest of the season was Victoria as Ted’s culinary girlfriend who sadly went off to Germany leaving Ted to go back to obsessing over Robin. Yawn.

Hopefully for the second season, they quickly break up Ted and Robin, get back Lily and Marshall, have Banrey have promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners (even with Robin if that gets her away from Ted) and hopefully they give Hannigan enough time off to make an appearance or two in Neptune again next year.

How I Met Your Mother 1.x gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won a STA.


Sunday, June 04, 2006

Everyone Will Listen Even if it Hurts Sometimes


We Don’t Need to Whisper - Angels and Airwaves

Last year, around the time was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I began to wonder why, after twenty-five years of being one of, if not the best band in the world, the band hadn’t spawned a new generation of U2-wannabes. Even newer, and lesser bands such as and have inspired many of the bands of today, but there still are not any new U2’s with only Snow Patrol comes to mind. Well there is now a band, that comes from a surprising source, openly hoping to be the next U2 and that would be former guitarist, Tom Delonge’s new band .

Yes, a member of a band best known for being naked in their videos and sodomy jokes in their songs has grown up and there is not a one fart joke on the group’s debut, . Instead the album focuses on the seriousness of relationship something Blink182 had already been moving towards on later albums. But the songs here do lack the faith overtones that seem to soak into a lot of the U2 catalogue.

So if there is a comparison to U2, it would be sonically where Angels and Airwaves builds a wall of sound opposed to heavily relying on the drummer as Blink182 did. The opener, Valkyrie Missile builds up to a crescendo and takes it’s time tapering off at the end much like Where the Streets Have no Name. Well so does The Adventure which highlights the problem with the album, diversity. Most of the songs blend into each other, not noticing where one ends and the next one begins even with spacing in-between and the songs themselves, all of which clock in at over four minutes seem to drag on. Also the choruses of It Hurts and Distraction get old real quick.

It’s a novel idea trying to copy the style of the best band of my generation, but at the end of the day, it still sounds like the dude from Blink182. And the rest of the band, made up of Dave Kennedy of Delonge’s other side project , Ryan Sinn, formally of , and Atom Willard, who has drummed for and , just are not close to the musicianship of The Edge, Adam and Larry, nor have the history the close friends had even before starting U2 with Bono. But at least Angels and Airwaves haven’t run naked through a video yet or uttered a fart joke.

Song to Download - The Adventure

We Don’t Need to Whisper gets a Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE] on my Terror Alert Scale.