Sunday, May 21, 2006

You've Found Yourself a Friend that Knows You Well


Broken Boy Soldier - The Raconteurs

When creating , Jack White had specific rules he wanted the band, which only included his ex-wife Meg, to follow right down to the color scheme both members must always follow be it red, black, or white. Another key ingredient was that they could only record song that could be played that way live, which meant only no more than two instruments per song. This led to a garage rock revolution and the simplicity was refreshing.

After years without wavering from those rules, Jack White has finally put the ex-wife on the back-burner and joined other Detroit rockers including Brandon Benson who trades vocals and guitar riffs with White as on their debut . The album starts off with Steady As She Goes that eases The White Stripes fans by starting off with a simple drum beat, then switches to a bass before the guitar comes in as if Jack was taking baby steps as he enters the world of more than two instruments per song. The song even sounds like it could have been a White Stripes song had White lifted his strict rule against songs that couldn’t be played live by just the two of them.

But not all the songs have the White Stripes with more musicians sound to it. The very next song Hands, as well later on the album with Intimate Secretary, sound something out of the 60’s British Invasion era with harmonizing vocals and all. The title track sounds like it could have been an outtake from an early Led Zeppelin recording session. In fact the album seems to go back and forth between the two time periods throughout the album.

On the balled Together Benson taking lead vocals with a less abrasive voice than White so the song comes off more sweet yet depressing at the same time, something White himself could not pull off during his tenure in his duo. But White is back in the spotlight on the album closer Blue Veins. The bluesy song where White goes on his full Robert Plant impression send chills done the spine and will fuel the fire of rock fans across the globe as they argue whether White should do another White Stripes or Raconteurs album next.

Song to Download - Steady As She Goes

Broken Boy Soldiers gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Cross Another One Off the List


The Cast of My Name Is EarlWhen I first heard of the concept behind My Name Is Earl, I though it had the potential to be funny, but it also could turn out like The Mullets, Instead of the big long hair there would be a bushy mustache. Luckily I have it a chance because it turned out to be even better that I could have hoped. The show itself is almost the antithesis of Arrested Development. Where the Bluth’s were complex people with complex problems, Earl and his crew were just simple folk with simple problems. The writers of Arrested Development would go out of the way just to set up a joke, Earl’s staff just go with the easiest ones. And of course Earl is a rags to riches story and the Bluth’s on the other hand lost all of theirs.

Earl and JoyBut the key to the show is Earl’s list. After years of being a petty criminal, he wins the lottery only to promptly get hit by a car. While in the hospital Earl learns a lesson about karma form Carson Daly of all people and makes a list of wrongs he’s done in his life that he need to make right. And being a reformed criminal, there is plenty to atone for, but with the help of his brother Randy and the maid at the hotel he stays at, Catalina, Earl has been able to cross a few off his list so far. This is no thanks to his ex-wife Joy who routinely stands in his way, or generally mocks him along the way, unless of curse it’s something that helps her.

Earl, Randy and the listSome of my favorite bad deeds Earl has crossed of his list include when he faked his own death to get out of a relationship, ruined Joy’s wedding, and the Y2K episode where he stole the ticket thing. Earl even solved one of Lost’s mysteries when he answered the question of where’s Walt and he also kidnapped the special kid. You can check out his list on the website although it is not the complete list and inaccurate. Number one on the list should be stole money from dude at a convenient store. Then there are the things on the list that Earl hasn’t gotten around to like how he keeps putting of crossing the one-legged woman off his list. Maybe next year.

My Name Is Earl 1.x gets a Terror Alert Level: Severe [RED] on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won three STA's.


Friday, May 19, 2006

My 2006-7 Television Schedule


The networks spent all week announcing their new schedule, so here is my unofficial schedule of what I will be watching. It is only tentative because all I have to go on for the new shows are a short description (check out my preseason top five at the bottom) so I will have more of an idea of whether I will watch something when they start seeing promos are read reviews. Even Veronica Mars wasn’t on my radar two years ago as I pegged it as just another boring high school drama.

Monday
8:00 - How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
9:00 - Heroes (NBC)

This may turn out to be a throwaway night with HIMYM being the only show worth watching. Heroes seems promising if you get past the lackluster cast and a plotline stolen from a failed Courtney Cox show from the late 80’s who’s I can’t remember and too lazy to look up. I may check out The Class in between, but I hay just tape HIMYM and watch it at 8:30.


Tuesday
9:00 - Veronica Mars (CW)
9:00 - Let’s Rob… (Taped) (ABC)

Veronica Mars is a given, sadly the most promising sitcom, Let’s Rob… is up against it so I’ll have to tape it. The show is from the producers of Ed and Late Show and stars the taxi cab driver from the old MTV commercials. The show was originally called Let’s Rob Mick Jagger but I guess the show will branch out later and has potential to be this year’s My Name Is Earl.


Wednesday
8:00 - Jericho (CBS)
9:00 - Lost (ABC)

I’m just watching Jericho out of spite because they totally stole my idea of life in a post nuclear small town. Luckily since it’s on CBS and doesn’t have the prefix CSI, it most likely won’t make it past the first month. I may also check out The Nine which is oddly enough on at 10:00 solely because it stars Chi McBride.


Thursday
8:00 - Survivor (CBS)
8:00 - Smallville (Taped) (CW)
8:00 - My Name Is Earl (Taped) (CW)
9:00 - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)

Last year they moved all my favorite shows to Thursday making my weekend catch up time and it looks like it will be much of the same. Everybody Hates Chris is out but unfortunately My Name Is Earl moved up and hour. The at 9:00 there is Studio 60 from the dude who brought us Sports Night and if this show is just like his previous one but with an SNL twist I’ll be happy, well except for the whole being canceled thing.


Friday/Saturday

I’d like to think I have something better to do on these nights to watch TV.


Sunday
7:00 - Everybody Hates Chris (CW)

Sundays look like when I’ll be catching up on everything I missed on Thursday. I may ease up my boycott of Fox to watch the cartoon lineup, and is the Browns are on I’ll watch football, but this is basically a throwaway night.


Preseason Top 5 New Shows

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC)
Let’s Rob (ABC)
Heroes (NBC)
20 Good Years (NBC)
The Nine (ABC)


Thoughts on other new shows:

20 Good Years - An off couple with John Lithgow and Jeffery Tambor, seriously how could you go wrong with an alien and a Bluth? Unfortunately it’s on against Lost, same with the other SNL themed show, 30 Rock

Six Degrees (ABC) - As in six degrees of separation but Kevin Bacon is no where to be found. The problem with the show is that it is JJ Abrams’ third show on the schedule, and second that involves random people who randomly interact (Think Lost’s flashbacks). Then add his involvement in resurrecting the Star Trek franchise and I can’t imagine he will have too much on his table and something, if not will falter.

‘Til Death (FOX) - The dude from Everybody Loves Raymond not named Raymond stars as a married dude in a stale marriage who new neighbors are newlyweds. This show was much better when it was called Married with Children.

Kidnapped (NBC), Vanished (FOX), Runaway (CW) - Much like Surface, Threshold, and Invasion last year, these shows sound basically the same and look how those that turned out for last year’s crop of derivative shows. To add to the agony, the latter stars one of the New Kids on the Block, that’s never a good sign.


For a complete grid of next year’s schedule, check out tvguide.com.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars: It's a Done Deal Edition


Evil BeaverTo start things off, as reported here first last week, “CW? It’s a done deal,” and today the official release was announced and will be on the inaugural CW schedule on Tuesdays following Gilmore Girls. Unfortunately Everwood didn’t make the cut while the worst show on television that doesn’t feature dudes sing karaoke, One Tree Hill, the already canceled 7th Heaven, and the lackluster Supernatural did. (For the entire schedule, and a cool network trailer, well aside from those annoying OTH clips, check out it’s website and be sure to check back in tomorrow for what I’ll be watching next year). Back to Veronica Mars, it will be interesting to re-watch this past season looking at Beaver and Woody for clues that I didn’t catch the first time around, although I totally forgot to look for Beaver’s post-crash reaction, but I guess that’s what screen caps are for thant to vm-caps.com. I’ll also be looking forward to next episode with the introduction of Jackie to see any hints that she was, indeed, lying about her past as I didn’t see her mom being a waitress coming although I did call her being with child.

For those of you that still haven’t jumped on the Veronica Mars bandwagon, now’s the best time to get aboard with summer repeats getting into full swing pretty soon. Although you missed out on the massive Amazon price cut, you can still catch the show other cheaper ways. First if you are a member of , , or other subscription-based DVD rental place, just throw the first disk of season one into your queue. If you like it, go head and queue up the whole season and the second too so you will get first dibs when it is released in August. But if you don’t, oh well (but don’t let the Paris Hilton cameo throw you off in the second episode, make sure you give all four episodes a chance). If you don’t subscribe to any of those subscription sites, you can always take a look at your local library to see if they have it as Veronica Mars fan raised a lot of money to buy of season one DVD’s to distribute to libraries across the country. Hey, you can’t beat free.

Now onto the show that had a new episode this week (click to download Three Minutes). Much like the last couple episodes, this one had a couple of big moments, but most of it was just filler. This could be because I had already pieces together Michael’s timeline while MIA from his actions upon return. The only part I didn’t see coming was that The Other letting him see Walt and the subsequent list that was given to him, and I was surprised that he wasn’t specifically told to kill Ana Lucia. With that said, Michael’s flashbacks were some of the most interesting of this season and there’s something to say that Claire’s is also near the top as they both had post-crash flashbacks. Hopefully there are more post-crash flashbacks next season as the pre-crash ones are getting stale. Maybe we will see a Rousseau flashback, or maybe Zeke or Not-Henry Gale.

But the most important part of this episode was the list, which much like Earl’s may have to do with Karma, or maybe not. There are many question to why these four, Jack, Kate Hurley, and Sawyer, are on the list. The Others like collecting “good” people, but then why Sawyer? There is something to say that they used Sawyer’s real name on the list though. Then there is why were certain people left off the list like Eko whom The Others already tried to take once and Claire whom the successfully too but escaped? Claire escaped thanks to Alex who also showed up in Michael’s flashback when she refused to deliver Kate to Zeke. And it’s pretty much a given that Alex is Rousseau’s kid. Right?

The rest of the episode was basically sleep inducing. The producers said they killed Libby because they had nothing else for her character yet they keep Charlie around with the boring heroin storyline that keeps coming back like a boomerang. Who wants to bet the Virgin Mary’s wash back ashore next season to rehash the storyline one more time just in time for him to reunite with Claire? Then there is Eko who is now king of the button and Locke sits around doing nothing. Yawn. Then they end the episode with a band with a yacht floating around shoreline.

Next week on Lost we have the two hour finale that promises to answer all your questions including why they are on the island (I’m sure they brought back the magnetic pull with Eko’s crucifix for a reason) and what will happen when the button isn’t pushed (haven’t we already seen this once possibly twice if Not-Henry was telling the truth?). Um, yeah, sure. Just from last episode I’m sure we will see who is on the yacht, if anyone and what Sayid’s master plan is for confronting The Others. I’ll go ahead and call it right now that this season will end when the castaways make it to The Other’s camp.


Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Final Word in the Final Sentence


Eyes Open - Snow Patrol

Over the two years iTunes has been issuing their Free Single of the Week, they have introduced us to a wide variety of songs; some didn’t make a dent in the musical landscape while others have gone on to be legitimate hits. I always find it funny when what was once a free single ends up a top seller because the people buying it could have gotten it for free at one point. But anyways. Arguable the best free song over the past two years was Run by . I played the song obsessively, eventually making the song the most played song on my iPod so naturally I was chopping at the bit to hear their new material on the newly released Eyes Open.

The album opens with a sixties influenced You’re All I Have with synthesizers and harmonies but with guitars turned up. Over the next forty-five minutes the band takes you on a sonic journey from the highs to the lows that almost make you understand the comparisons. Not in that they sound like the band, no one will ever be able to recreate the sound The Edge gets out of his guitars, instead Snow Patrol are able to craft music that doesn’t sound like anything else but is still palatable to a wide listening audience. Much like Run, Chasing Cars has and ebb and flow to it that just grabs you by the ear buds.

The journey you envision in your mind just maybe the theme of the album as they tell us to, “Just close your eyes until you can imagine this place, you're our secret space at will” (Shut Your Eyes). Then at the end of the journey they want so much to open your eyes Cos I need you to look into mine” (Open Your Eyes) to make sure we both got there before we get to the last track, The Finish Line.

Along the way there is the lullaby, complete with xylophones that could be used in a Disney ride in an alternate universe, on You Could Be Happy. Then there’s the grandeur Make This Go on Forever that, if it went on forever I wouldn’t have minded. The song builds and builds on piano as more and more people join the choir that helps out on the chorus. Then the album then quickly crashes into the more somber Set the Fire to the Third Bar, a beautiful ballad that helps with moody word especially when the two singers hit the chorus, “I'm miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground I, I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms.”

If there was one negative to Snow Patrol is they still have yet to master the straight away rocker in the vain of Vertigo. When they do on songs like the unfortunate first single Hands Open as well as It’s Beginning to Get to Me and Headlights on the Dark Road seem to blend into each other and are too much like a couple songs off the last album. If on future releases they are able to craft a bombastic stadium anthem or two, they just may live up to the moniker of this generation’s U2.

Song to Download - Make This Go On Forever

Eyes Open gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.

Snow Patrol on iTunes

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Exile on Probst St


Survivor Exile IslandThe granddaddy of all network reality shows, Survivor, hit double digit a couple seasons back but it still remains the most constantly entertaining one. Its advantage above all others, who are dependant on picking contestants that have to bring the entertainment, Survivor’s ace in the hole is the show’s main character, the environment itself, which almost always ups the drama. You don’t see a torrential downpour on the set of American Karaoke? The show even added to that this season with the addition of Exile Island where one or two of the survivors would be banished there with nothing but a clue to a hidden immunity idol that could have been used at anytime up to the final four.

But as beautiful as some of the locales are, you still need populate the tribes and this season’s tribes could have been the most volatile. It saw the rare case where there were three contestants that got multiple votes at a single tribal council and there some odd votes cast at other tribals too. Then there was the most volatile survivor ever, Shane, who had to quit cigarettes cold turkey and his nicotine withdrawal him to have multiple outbursts, alienated alliance members Aras, Danielle and Courtney, and at one time created a Blackberry out of wood and it seemed as if he really thought he was talking on it and emailing other people.

Danielle and her BreastsThe season, though, was all about Danielle’s breasts. You know if she bent over, the camera guys would be there to capture them on film and they got more screen time than half of the other contestants. They even liked to come out and play during every other challenge giving the censors the most work they have done since the original winner and future contestant of Survivor: Alcatraz. With that all said, Danielle easily made the top five hottest survivors ever list. Then there was Molly who shot herself into the top two cutest contestants ever list.

Danielle and her BikiniSurprisingly this was also one of the rare instances where one of the token hot chicks didn’t look uglier after taking a shower (think Stephanie who put on way too much makeup at her two reunion shows). But Shane did look a lot like Johnny Knoxville after cleaning up and that can’t be a good thing, well, unless you are trying to trick Jessica Simpson into sleeping with you. In the end the yoga dude won, yawn.

Next season we will see the return of Exile Island, but the show will be leaving Latin America for the one of the rare times in recent seasons for the Cook Islands in the South Pacific. No matter who is in the cast there will be a mutiny on the Bounty. Well that and someone will borrow Danielle’s gravity defying bikini top.

Survivor: Exile Island gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won three STA's.

This season is not yet available, but check out other seasons of Survivor on Amazon.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Lyrics Quiz - At the Movies


Mission Impossible 3 started off the summer blockbuster season a couple weekends ago. Seems odd considering Memorial Day used to be the kickoff date. But as studio try to out do each other, soon St. Patrick’s Day will kick off the summer blockbusters. Well except the whole M:I:3 not doing as good as expected. But anyways. So movie soundtracks are the basis of this month quiz. As usual, leave the song title and artist in the comment section. As and added bonus, if you name the movie the song appeared in (as long as the title of the movie is not the same as the title of the song), you get an extra point. You can steal the bonus once the song has already been guessed. If you are right I will un-bold it and give you credit. Winner will join the Winner's List on the sidebar. Now on to the lyrics:


1. I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry. (Against All Odds - Phil Collins; guessed by Anonymous)

2. No I don’t wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart). (Wicked Game - Chris Isaacs guessed by Lisa; Bonus - Wild at Heart guessed by Kristi)
3. Fool I’m the illest, bulletproof, I die harder than Bruce Willis. (New Jack Hustler - Ice-T; guessed by Pupski; Bonus - New Jack City guessed by Lyndon)
4. I bid Farwell to ol’ Kentucky, the place I was born and raised. (Man of Constant Sorrow - Soggy Bottom Boys; Bonus - O, Brother Where Art Thou? both guessed by Lisa)
5. Most of my hero don’t appear on no stamp. (Fight the Power - Public Enemy; Bonus - Do the Right Thing both guessed by Lyndon)
6. My grandma said to your grandma I’m gonna set your flag on Fire. (Iko, Iko - The Belle Stars; Bonus - Rain Man both guessed by Lyndon)
7. If you’re all alone, pick up the phone and call. (Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jr. guessed by Lyndon)
8. Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen; pour myself a cup of ambition. (9 to 5 - Dolly Parton; guessed by Lisa)
9. Out of the shadow she walks like a dream, make me feel crazy, make me feel so mean. (On the Darkside - John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band; Bonus - Eddie and the Cruisers both guessed by Kristi)
10. Just hit the East Side of the LBC on a mission try to find Mr… (Regulate - Warren G; Bonus - Above the Rim both guessed by Lyndon)
11. When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive. (Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls; guessed by Pupski; Bonus - City of Angels guessed by Erica)
12. He’s in a bunch of movies, really stupid movies, it’s not entirely his fault, can’t control it all. (Spin the Bottle - Juliana Hatfield Trio; Bonus - Reality Bites both guessed by Lisa)
13. Why do you have to give me a fight, can’t you just let it be? (I'm Alright - Kenny Loggins; Bonus - Caddyshack both guessed by Lisa)
14. Into the flood again, same old trip it was back then. (Would? - Alice in Chains; Bonus - Singles both guessed by ANO)
15. A world in never-ending happiness, you can always see the sun, day or night. (Let's Go Crazy - Prince; Bonus - Purple Rain both guessed Lyndon)
16. When you can see your unborn children in her eyes. (Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman? - Bryan Adams; Bonus - Don Juan both guessed by Lyndon)
17. There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea. (Kiss From a Rose - Seal; Bonus - Batman Forever both guessed by Pupski)
18. And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life. (Lose Yourself - Eminem; Bonus - 8 Mile both guessed by Erica)
19. Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you. (Hero - Chad Kroeger; Bonus - Spiderman both guessed by Lisa)
20. First time you feel it, it might make you sad, the next time you feel it, it might make you mad. (The Power of Love - Huey Lewis and the News; Bonus - Back to the Future both guessed by Lisa)
21. I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky, I’ll be where the eagles flying higher and higher. (St. Elmo's Fire - John Parr; guessed by Angie)
22. Jesus loves you more than you will know. (Mrs. Robinson - Simon and Garfunkel; Bonus - The Graduate guessed by Erica)
23. In my darkest hour, in deepest despair, will you still care? In my trial and my tribulations, through our doubts and frustrations. (Will You Be There? - Michael Jackson; Bonus - Free Willy both guessed by ANO)
24. If I could be king, even for a day, I’d take you as my queen; I’d have it no other way. (Change the World - Eric Clapton guessed by Lisa; Bonus - Phenomenon guessed by Kristi)
25. I touch you once, I touch you twice, I won’t let go at any price. (If You Leave - OMD; Bonus - Pretty in Pink both guessed by Angie)

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Think Pink


Pink batsFirst off I want to give a big shout out to all the mothers out there especially the one that brought me into this world (not that she will read this or anything). I also want to give big ups to Major League Baseball for also honoring all the mothers out there by having the players and all on-field personnel wear pink wristbands and a pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness on their uniforms to commemorate the day. The pink ribbon logo will also appear on the bases and on commemorative home plates, and the lineups will be written on pink cards.

Pink bats being madeIn addition to all that, baseball has allowed its players to use pink bats today, all part of a weekend program to raise money for the . Many superstars including , David Ortiz, and along with over fifty other players intend to use the pink bats. of the Texas Rangers wants to go a step the pink bat a step further and have his mother’s name on his bat as well as one for his grandmother who died of breast cancer who has to say this about his mother:


“My mom is the glue of our family, and I just want to do something to thank her for all that she has done. At the same time, we are raising money for a great cause.”

The one problem a buddy of mine poised was what if Big Head Barry tied and/or passed Babe Ruth with a pink bat? My thought - great, as the bats, as well as the bases, will be signed and auctioned off later this year will all proceeds going to the charity and the amount that the potential historic bat could make for the cause could almost help Big Head Barry atone for his past transgressions. Almost. For more about breast cancer awareness, check out the pink ribbon on my sidebar.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Zod Is Coming


It's finale time, Chloe must be in dangerLast season, much like every season finale, everyone in the Kansas farm town was in peril. Clark was transported to the artic, where the Fortress of Solitude eventually would be as Chloe tried to keep Lex from seeing Clark use the crystals all the while Smalville was bombarded by yet another meteor shower. His parents were holed up at gun point by the dude from Supernatural (obviously he didn’t make it out of the shower, Lana’s helicopter crashed right next to a downed UFO, then there was Lionel who looked as if his head would explode from the Kryptonian data that his brain seemed to be downloading.

Then like every season premiere, everything is resolved and all are safe by the time the credits roll. But they were quick to introduce a new menace from the Superman Universe, Brainiac. Granted much like Clack Kent has yet to go by his nickname, Brainiac only goes by his college professor alter ego Milton Fine. A couple more of Superman’s Super Friends also show up with Cyborg and Aquaman and we were also introduced to silver kryptonite which makes Clark go insane. But the best reunion of the season wasn’t that of anyone from the comic books, no, it was the reunion of Bo and Luke Duke when showed up as Jonathan Kent’s old buddy and senator of the state who happened to have a penchant for strip clubs. And because the show never passes on a chance to make illusions and in-jokes to its own franchise, they even had the good ol’ boys ride together, jumping over things in their car.

RIP Johnathan KentThe big new of the season was that, since Jor-El saved Clarks life, it would have to be exchanged for the life of someone he cared about. Seeing Lana’s car flip over, killing her in the process, after Lex chased after her after he kissed her was shocking. Well that was until Clark decided to get Jor-El to rewind that day so no one but Clark would remember it leading to the anti-climatic death of Papa Kent. As cheesy as that plot was, it did turn to be wat looks like the final straw that breaks up the Clark-Lex friendship as Clark blames Lex for the death of his father because had he not caused Lana’s death to begin with his dad may still be alive. Not that Lex remembers any of this.

Yep, Lois is wearing very little clothing againThe other theme of the season was to get Lois is as little amount of clothing as possible. First they got her all wet while stuffing her man made breasts in the smallest bikini top they can fine during the Auquman episode. Then later in the season they just went all they way by having her go undercover as a stripper albeit a patriotic one with her American flag outfit. Personally I much prefer my Los Lane with class, and this Lois Lane will most likely pale in comparison to the movie version, . Although maybe now that she is working for Martha the senator, she will continue to wear the busniess suits we usually seen past Lois in.

Oh Lana what happen to youThis was also the season they destroyed Lana Lang. After last season when they finally gave her an actual storyline with her being possessed by her witch ancestor that was quickly ignored as Lana went back to her damsel in distress routine of the earlier seasons. This season although Bad Lana did make an appearance during the vampire episode, where again the writers couldn’t pass up an in-joke with their guest star when former vampire James Marsters uttered the line, “There’s no such things as Vampires.” The lead vampire in the episode was not so coincidentally named Buffy. But I’m getting off track on Lana, her whole stand by her man at the end of the season with Lex got really annoying and almost made me wish that Clark didn’t save her in the original death sequence. But I have a feeling if Smallville makes it to a seventh season, Lana won’t. And with Chloe getting hotter by the season, it won’t be that big of loss of eye candy.

By the time the credits roll on the finale, once again everyone is in peril. Clark is stuck in the two-dimensional thing; Mama Kent and Lois are flying to not Washington, DC on Fine Airlines with no oxygen; Chloe and Lionel were dragged from his limousine by the mob of people that go crazy sole because the power went out all the while Lex, who is currently being possessed by Zod makes out with the now useless Lana. But naturally everything will be back to order by the second episode of next season.

Smallville 5.x gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Friday, May 12, 2006

Kids Don't Do Drugs Mmm-Kay


I think I may need an intervention. Granted I’ve never done drugs before, let me rephrase that, much like Big Head Barry, I’ve never knowingly done drugs. You see, back in college there three dorm mates of mine that continually talked about the time we all got high even though I didn’t remember the episode. I never knew marijuana could cause blackouts, but anyway.

Carrie Underwood, I'd hit thatWell it seems I fell off the wagon I never knew I was on. Let me start by saying I don’t watch commercials. When watching a show and a commercial comes on, I put on the picture and picture and browse the music channels, MTV2, FUSE, , while waiting for the episode to resume. Then a couple days ago I flipped onto VH1 Classics to see something that convinced mw that I took something that was making me hallucinate. What did I see? Carrie Underwood hanging out with the reunited Alice In Chains. Let me repeat that for those who thought they were hallucinating that last sentence. On my television, Carrie Underwood, reigning American Karaoker was hanging out with Grunge Gods Alice in Chains. Oh and adding to my dementia, also in the room was Duff McKagan of Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver, Dave Navarro of Jane's Addiction, and Phil Anselmo of Pantera. Yes, Phil (Expletive Deleted) Anselmo hanging out with Carrie Underwood.

Carrie Underwood with the bigger Wilson sisterSince I could believe what I was seeing, I taped the rest of the show and it turned out it this was part of a concert series put on by the network called (check out the link for clips) where they team up golden oldies acts with contemporary hit makes. And no, for those wondering at home, Carrie didn’t fill in for the late Laine Staley on Would? or Man in the Box. This particular show was in honor of Heart and Carrie’s only appearance was to duet with the band on Alone, which, my sources tell me, she did on that little karaoke show she did last year then hung back stage for an interview with all of the participants where she was seated just feet away from Phil Anselmo. As much as I loved Pantera in my formative years, he creeps me out just watching him on television and I can’t image how scared Carrie had to be.

Phil Anselmo, Duff McKagan help out the reunited Alice in ChainsAs strange as a pairing as Underwood and Alice in Chains, the band hanging out with Heart shouldn’t come as much as a shock as both bands hail from Seattle. And if you are like me and mostly remember Heart from the 80’s, All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You phase, you need to remember that they could hold their own during the arena rock of the 70’s and Barracuda is one of the all time great rock songs. But still it was disturbing see in Ann Wilson (or is it Nancy? which one’s the, um, bigger one? Isn’t their a Carnie sister?) help out on vocal for Rooster with some dude named William Duvall who actually did a decent Staley impression. But the highlight is when Anselmo took over Staley’s vocals on Would?, which I consider the greatest song of the grunge era and it was as great as you can image and probably better. Hopefully this becomes a permanent thing and that Alice in Chains doesn’t pull a INXS and finds a karaoker to front their band (no offence to Carrie Underwood). Unfortunately Anselmo also took on Them Bones that didn't make onto the broadcast which had to be crazy.

When do I get to meet Alice in Chains for my birthday?While searching for information on this concert, I came up with some disturbing info, especially considering McKagan’s involvement, that Underwood routinely covers GnR’s Patience and Sweet Child o’ Mine on tour. I did get a hold of a version of the former and it is disturbing, and by disturbing I mean I can’t stop listening to it even though she totally messes up the ending and uses a violin where whistling should go. I once wanted to meet Carrie Underwood solely to have dirty, dirty sex with her, but after this revelations, I totally want to harass her about seeing the first performance of Alice and Chains… and to properly show her how to perform Patience.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 16


And we are down to possibly the last regular season Toss Up between the best two shows on television (click to download last night’s episode, ?) and . Over the summer I’m sure I’ll get around to a season long version, as for next year, we still need to wait for conformation for a third season of Veronica Mars (although my sources say “It’s a done deal”). If they continue to be on separate nights, I may do what I did last night, and run a preview version of my Veronica Mars analysis on my sister site, Scooter McGavin takes pictures then the regular Toss Up on Thursday. Now onto the Toss Up:

Dream Sequence
Lost: Eko sees Ana Lucia and his brother who both tell him to harass Locke about the ?. Coincidentally Locke also sees Eko’s brother in a wheelchair and Eko falling to his possible death.
Veronica Mars: Veronica dreams about the perfect graduation that includes not-sheriff Lamb in a crime dog costume, Dick going commando (and graduates), and Lily’s lesbian experience.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Flashbacks
Lost: Eko, for some reason in Australia, is sent to verify a miracle claim.
Veronica Mars: Veronica takes Beaver through his diabolical plan.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Dead
Lost: Ana Lucia didn’t make it out of Michael’s rampage from last week.
Veronica Mars: Mayor Goodwood blows up, Aaron gets what’s coming to him, and Beaver, after failing to take one plunge, is able to take a different one.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Not Quite Dead
Lost: Libby and Michael make it out of his rampage last week. Um, wait, strike that first one.
Veronica Mars: Lamb actually saves Keith’s life with his latest ego trip.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Losing Faith
Lost: After finding the Pearl hatch, Locke loses his faith in the island and his life in general.
Veronica Mars: After Aaron gets off; Veronica loses her faith in Santa, the Easter Bunny, angels among others.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Nicknames
Lost: Sawyer calls their escaped prisoner the artist formally known as Henry Gale.
Veronica Mars: Dick calls Beaver and Ghost World 12th Level Dorks.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Mastermind
Lost: Michael gets away with murder even though he missed Libby with a kill shot.
Veronica Mars: Beaver would have gotten away with it had it not been for that meddling Veronica.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Taking a Fall
Lost: Eko falls off a cliff; well at least he did in Locke’s dream.
Veronica Mars: Beaver takes the plunge off the cliff after he has nothing left to live for.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Back From the Dead
Lost: Eko’s brother appears to him in his dream. And if you believe flashback girl’s story, her too.
Veronica Mars: Lily appears to Veronica in her dream.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Back, But Not From the Dead
Lost: I don’t have confirmation, but I think it’s safe to assume that flashback chick’s father was Claire’s father.
Veronica Mars: Wallace’s mom shows up at graduation, but has no contact with Keith, and seems to be missing her other son. Could Wallace’s real life brother be broiled in contract disputes?
Winner: Lost


Where's Gia and MadisonMIA
Lost: Jin, Sun, and has Claire been on since her flashback episode?
Veronica Mars: Jackie, Gia, and Madison are no where to be found at their graduation.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Young Love Dashed
Lost: Libby dies before her and Hurley could go on a first date.
Veronica Mars: Beaver dies after failing to deflower Mac.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Comic Relief
Lost: No laughs from Hurley because his girlfriend dies.
Veronica Mars: Dick wears a “Trust Me I’m Rich” t-shirt to graduation, slaps Ronnie’s butt and goes commando in Vee’s dream.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Hiding Spot
Lost: Sawyer successfully kept his stash buried in his tent.
Veronica Mars: Principal Clemmons unsuccessfully hinds his password under his stapler.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Brotherly love?  I don't think soBrotherly Love
Lost: Even though he was responsible for his death, Eko’s brother helps him find the Pearl Station.
Veronica Mars: Dick constant harassment most likely help Beaver’s decision to jump and doubtfully will help Dick posthumously.
Winner: Lost


TV Viewing
Lost: Locke and Eko watch Jack wonder around the hatch.
Veronica Mars: Woody watches in his underwear.
Winner: Veronica Mars


Companionate Evil Dude
Lost: Michael constantly checks up on Libby’s condition.
Veronica Mars: Beaver lets her call her dad to say goodbye.
Winner: Veronica Mars


James Bond Moment
Lost: After having sex, the hot chick dies.
Veronica Mars: Before killing the hero, the villain lets them explain their plot.
Winner: Veronica Mars


?
Lost: The name of the episode.
Veronica Mars: What we were left with plenty for next season.
Winner: Lost


Not really that fair this week with the Veronica Mars finale going up against a regular Lost one granted I bet more went on during the one hour Veronica Mars finale than will go down during the three hour Lost finale. This week on Lost we open with the repressions of last week’s rampage. Ana Lucia’s dead, Libby’s close to it, and Not-Henry is nowhere to be found. Nothing really interesting happens with this whole storyline as basically waits around to see whether or not Libby dies except Kate learns where Sawyer was keeping his stash.

The meat of the episode surrounds Eko being told by Ana Lucia and his brother to get Locke to telling about ?. I wonder if the monster is involved in all of this because it did scan Eko and supposedly Locke and they both saw Eko’s brother through dreams. ? turns out to be yet another hatch, this one Pearl where the habitants were to watch the people in the original hatch. Much like the people in the original hatch, the people in this hatch aren’t privy to any information and are supposed to blindly follow directions and once done they were catch a ferry somewhere. To where, I don’t know, but wherever it is I bet they have a hand written map there. The most important information here is that the orientation had a copyright of 1980 (or close to it). So this has been going on for at least twenty five years. The Pearl was suspiciously empty though so maybe the conductors of the experiment stopped long ago. I was surprised they didn’t find Desmond down there as I fully expect to see him again this season.

In the flashback I pretty sure we see Claire’s physic who fully admits to being a fraud. I fully expected to see him again sometime, but I was shocked that it was under that condition as I originally thought we’d see more castaways patron his business. Now I’m wondering if his last minute advise that Claire give her children up for adoption in LA was bought and paid for someone who wanted her, or more specifically Aaron, on the island.

Now we have yet another death with Libby before we even get a back story from her. But this death does reek of character issues for the actress even though the producers said they had no more storylines for her. Hello, she was in the same mental hospital with Hurley. Really she didn’t even have any storylines this season either so why have her character anyways? Maybe this is all a hoax, and if her pilot doesn’t get picked up, maybe the whole evil twin sister theory that has been floating around the internet will be real and evil-Libby may just turn out to be the He the Others talk about. (Mmm, who is He? Sounds like a good Oddsmakers. Keep an eye out for that.)


Veronica graduatesAs for Veronica Mars, first off I want to point out that even though I was way off on who crashed the bus, I totally called Jackie with child, Weevil being picked up at graduation, Veronica getting Le Clap from someone who raped her at the infamous Shelly Pomroy party, and Aaron Echolls getting killed. Granted I did pull back on the last one after suggesting there would be a “Who Killed Aaron” mystery next season with it being revealed that a not so dead Lynn Echolls did it. Then I realized that no one would care who killed Aaron because everyone would just be happy he was gone. But the writers were smart enough to solve that dilemma by going ahead and telling us who did it right away, leaving no mystery.

And speaking of Aaron’s death, Duncan and Clarence’s exchange, “CW?” “It’s a done deal” has to be an admission that Veronica Mars will be on the CW schedule next season, right? Rob Thomas isn’t going to put that that line in if it wasn’t, in fact, a done deal or if the powers that be at the network gave him the go ahead, would he? Even though I haven’t believed any of the speculation or supposed insider information, thanks to that line, my hopes are official raised for a third season. The only potential problem though is that the line was a blatantly stolen from ’s (I actually discussed with Rob how great the show was and he also admitted that Big Dick’s shredding exit scene was an homage to that show) “It’s Showtime” line and see how that turned out.

I, indeed, (Heart) BeaverThen of course there was the whole bus crash thing and it looks like sales of “I (Heart) Beaver” t-shirts will be on the decline. But then again Duke lacrosse gear went through the roof lately. (If you want yours, check out Ducky’s site.) I’m still not entirely sold that the Beav would kill a bus load of innocent people just to get two people. Then I totally missed how Veronica jumped from seeing Beaver’s name not pictured to figuring out he was a murderer. Then why after all these years living with it, why kill Mayor Goodwood? And why after finding a bomb under his car would Woody not sweep everything in his hangar too? But anyways.

On the subject of Mayor Goodwood, how great is it that he watches Dukes of Hazzard? If that’s the last television show I see before I die, at least I’ll die a happy man. And the throwing of the deer head was classic; that would be something Officer Mahoney would do as a last line of defense.

Then we had yet another dream sequence in what may of happened had Lily not been murdered thus daddy’s still sheriff, mommy’s still around and sober, and Lily is still a dirty, dirty slut. One thing I missed though is that I never realized that Lily was older than everyone. For all this time I thought she was Duncan’s little sister yet at the same time the same age as Veronica. Oh well. I was disappointed that Logan turned out to be her dream boyfriend. But at least Dick made the cut in her dream. And what does it say about Ronnie that she had him going commando in her dream. And the best part of the episode is when Dick slapped Vee’s butt after graduation. Seriously how long until she gets a little Dick in her life?


Next week on Lost, the first hour of the three hour finale starts with Michael leading the everyone to the Others. I smell a set up. And who was the black chick in the previews, she does look familiar. Next week on Veronica Mars they are showing a repeat of season two première, and best episode of the year contender, Normal is the Watchword. Would they show repeats of a show that is not coming back next year? I noticed that was conspicuously absent from the WB’s schedule this week and next after last week's finale. We will find out the winners and losers next Thursday when the inaugural CW schedule is announced. But keep in mind a reliable source of mine said “CW? It’s a done deal.”



Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Let's Impeach the President for Lying


Living with War - Neil Young

For the past five years singers and other entertainment folk have bombarded this presidency and his administration with metaphors and veiled references about how poorly they have ran this country. The problem with that is George Bush isn’t too good at recognizing metaphors and other alliterations. But finally we have an artist who has laid things in such a simplistic way even Bush can understand with the release of ’s that includes such lyrics like, “Let’s impeach the president for lying” and, “Let’s impeach the president for spying.” Yep, no metaphors there. And I dare you not to sing along after hearing the song once.

Even though the album is released just months after Prairie Wind, basically Harvest redux, Living with War has very little in common with that album. Instead it quickly conjures up images of one of Young’s biggest hit, Rockin’ in the Free World that took aim at the elder Bush’s social programs most memorably with the line “We got a thousand points lights fore the homeless man.” Young bring the intensity from that song to this whole set with guitar distortion that reminds us why he is considered the Godfather of grunge. Although the album is capped off with a great choral retention of America the Beautiful that even the few Bush-backers that are left can love.

But is still the lyrics that makes the album. On The Restless Consumer he give a laundry list of things we don’t need, most notably no more lies then asks, “How can you pay for war and leave us dieing?” Sadly we will never get an answer. And in the interest of fairness, Young even lets Bush speak for himself on Let’s Impeach the President when he inserts lines from his various speeches. Granted Young does this to point out the numerous flip flops that the president has done most notably when he goes from calling Osama bin Laden public enemy #1 but later admits he doesn’t think about him anymore. I know I have had issues with Bush-bashers lately, but this is an album everyone needs to listen to.

Song to Download - Let’s Impeach the President (you can also stream the whole album in it’s entirely at )

Living with War gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Tuesday, May 09, 2006

California Show Your Teeth


Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The invented the rap/metal genre a good decade before the term was coined, not that the band’s music is simplistic as the sub-genre would suggest as the Peppers also include elements of funk and jazz among others. This could explain how the band has survived, releasing nine albums as other rap/rockers like and have disappeared into virtual obscurity. And the Peppers add to their funky legacy with .

But ever since John Frusciante rejoined the band, the Peppers have gone on a mellower path with their last albums, Californication and By the Way. And even though Rick Rubin, who was at the help of the break out album, Blood Sugar Sex Magic, is back, the band continues the softer terrain. Even the louder songs on the set never reach the bombast of Give it Away or other songs that go even further back in their catalog. Lyrically, Anthony Kiedis also shows growth from the guy who was the master of the single entendre fifteen years ago (although the jury’s still out on how dirty She’s Only 18 is, but Hump de Bump isn’t as suggestive as you might think). Of course they had to grow up sometime because no one wants to see a dude on the wrong side of forty wearing nothing but a sock. Then again, I don’t want to see that from a dude on the right side of forty. But anyways.

If there is a downside to Staduim Arcadium is that, like almost every double album, it is way too long clocking in at over two hours and twenty-eight tracks. Then again the album doesn’t plunge into the pit falls that has brought down other recent double disks by not dividing the album into specific genres like party songs and slow jams so both disk sounds like two full length Pepper albums, and the two disks, Mars and Venus, have no intrinsic means to them. As expected with this many tracks, there are a few songs that quickly got old and I found my skipping songs like Snow (Oh Now) and So Much I after a few listenings.

Other songs have a very distinct Peppers song so much that when I first heard Tell Me Baby I thought it was Don’t Stop. There a few songs that utilizes a horn sections reminiscent to elder funker Parliament and much to the pleasure of , Readymade has a killer cowbell part. But in the end, the set could have been scaled down to a single disk, although not getting rid of the up tempo songs, as there were too many mid tempo songs bogging down the two disks.

Song to Download - Readymade

Stadium Arcadium gets a Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE] on my Terror Alert Scale.


Red Hot Chili Peppers on iTunes

Monday, May 08, 2006

Oddsmakers: Veronica Mars Finale Edition


The Crashed BusA couple weeks ago I compiled a list of suspects for who could have crashed the bus on Veronica Mars. Now in honor of the finale tomorrow, I have updated that list, so of the odds have changed over that time most notably the people in the Casablancas Clan who have looked guiltier and guiltier by the week. Also I had to add Lucky who we had not seen at that point. Right now, my money’s on Lamb with the Manning’s to place and the Fitzpatrick’s to show. So who you got? Feel free to place your bets in the comment section and make sure to turn into Veronica Mars Tuesday at 9:00 to see who actually did it.*


(Vice) Principal Clemmons
Target: Everyone
Why: His first attempt at ousting the Principal hoping that if a bunch of students went over the cliff, he’d resign. Also there were more than a few kids that were frequent visitors to his office.
Why Not: He has a kid their age and wouldn’t take out others being a parent himself.
Odds: 950:1


The Indians
Target: Terrence Cook via Ms. Dumass
Why: Terrence owes them a lot of money and sent a message threw his girlfriend, and they seem untouchable with ties to the judge
Why Not: Too obscure, only been in two episode
Odds: 900:1


The Gay Mafia
Target: The dude who was going to have the outing of all outings (for the life of me I can’t remember his name) and possibly taking out Marcos too.
Why: To stop the outing of all outings.
Why Not: Well since Mayor Goodwood has his own caterfory, it’s unlikely Mr Wu would go after gay dude when it seems everything was settled.
Odds: 750:1


Sheriff Lamb
Target: Dick Casablancas, the poor
Why: To get rid of Madison’s off again/on again boyfriend, poor people commit crime, less poor people, less crime. Then he can gallantly solved the case as he was quick to convict the bus driver then Terrence.
Why Not: Dude’s lazy and not that bright.
Odds: 80:1


The Manning’s
Target: Meg, Duncan and their unborn child.
Why: Not to be shamed by their love child and to kill the sinners.
Why Not: She’s still their kid.
Odds: 75:1


Could it have been Wallace's mom?The Field
(For those not familiar with the phrase, that means everyone else not mentioned so if you think it’s Madison Sinclair, Wallace’s Mom (picture coutesy of UPN/Warner Bros), Corny or some other harebrain choice, this is your category)
Odds: 60:1


Terrence Cook
Target: Ms. Dumass
Why: She knew a lot of dirt on him that would put him on the out with his fiancé and keep him out of the Hall of Fame.
Why Not: Like Clemmons has a kid the same age as the ones on the bus many of which would be fans of his.
Odds: 50:1


Not-So-Lucky
Target: Woody via Goody
Why: It sure seems that Mayor Goodwood had a penchant for young boys, Lucky being one of them and his military training could come in handy with bomb building. And the post-war syndrome could ease the thought of collateral damage.
Why Not: He was at the VA at the time of the crash and, well, he’s already dead, so that means it would be hard for Veronica to confront the killer.
Odds: 45:1

The PCH’ers
Target: Logan
Why: If I’m not mistaken, Logan was supposed to be on the bus, he was in Yearbook last year and since he just got off for the murder of Felix, retribution was in order.
Why Not: One of there own, Cervando was also on the bus.
Odds: 25:1


Aaron Echolls/Curly Moran
Target: Veronica
Why: She was the key witness in his murder trial.
Why Not: Don’t think Aaron would kill a whole bus load of kids just to get one especially since it was almost a given he would walk anyways.
Odds: 10:1


Could it have been Dick or Beaver?A Member of the Casablancas Clan (picture coutesy of UPN/Warner Bros.)
Target: The poor.
Why: They hate the poor because they bring down property values. Not to mention Beaver and Kendall look guiltier by the week. And Beaver being cut out of the email sent to Woody seems the most logical right now.
Why Not: Not that bright aside from Beaver who is the only one that seems to have a conscience.
Odds: 5:1


Woody Goodman
Target: The poor, kids he may have had extra curricular activities with.
Why: Civil unrest that killing the poor on the bus would cause helping his upcoming proposal of incorporation. Also it would cover up any impropriates he did with young boys on the bus.
Why Not: Too risky considering his daughter was supposed to be on the boss. Plus I still think he was the target in the first place by taking out his daughter.
Odds: 2:1


The Fitzpatrick’s
Target: Gia, Logan, Cervando, Ms. Dumass
Why: Gia - to send a message to her father; Logan - o tie up loose ends with the Felix murder; Cervando - maybe didn’t pay back his drug money; Ms. Dumass - to send a message to Terrence or because she knew too much.
Why Not: Good question, um, maybe someone beat them to the idea although they have been suspiciously quiet since killing Thumper.
Odds: 3:2


* This game is strictly for entertainment purposes, no money is meant to change hands. Unless of course you would like to donate to the Scooter McGavin is Poor Fund.


And now here is the final press release of the season, hopefully the next one I get is announcing a third season on the CW (picture courtesy of UPN/Warner Bros.):


AFTER FINALLY IDENTIFYING THE CULPRIT OF THE BUS CRASH, VERONICA ENDS UP PUTTING HERSELF IN GRAVE DANGER, ON THE SEASON FINALE OF "VERONICA MARS," TUESDAY, MAY 9 ON UPN

Steve Guttenberg ("The Poseidon Adventure") Returns As Mayor Woody Goodman; Tina Majorino ("Napoleon Dynamite") Returns As Veronica's Classmate Mac; Harry Hamlin ("L.A. Law") and Charisma Carpenter ("Angel") Also Return


Veronica Mars at graduation"Not Pictured" -- After learning the identity of the perpetrator responsible for the bus crash, Veronica hurries to warn others, but ends up putting herself in an extremely perilous situation, on the season finale of VERONICA MARS, Tuesday, May 9 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on UPN. John Kretchmer directed the episode from a script written by series' creator and Executive Producer Rob Thomas, and John Enbom.

Meanwhile, Keith enlists Veronica's help in his ongoing investigation of Woody (guest star Steve Guttenberg) and asks her go undercover to get some vital information from Woody's lawyer. Later, when graduation day finally comes around, Neptune seniors celebrate at a huge party at the Neptune Grand.

Scooter Update: Be sure to check out Ducky's exclusive interview with Miss Jackie herself, .


Sunday, May 07, 2006

One Angry Scooter


There are very few ways to fulfill your civic duties these days. Since I don’t have enough money to get elected to public office, my options are dwindled down to two things, voting and jury duty, and last week I got to do both. First the easier of the two, I voted in the republican primary for the first time since distancing from the party for aligning themselves with one of the worst presidents ever only to show how out of touch with the party by picking the wrong horses in every race that had more than one candidate. Seriously, Ken Blackwell won? But enough boring you with Ohio politics.

As I reported last November (see I Rocked the Vote, I Think), the state when with the evil ATM voting machines. They changed my voting place this time around and this place went with alternating ATM’s with every other one turned the opposite way so there was less space, but still not enough to keep from looking over at you neighbor. And it’s never a good sign one someone is close enough to crack a “Did you get all lemons?” joke when your ATM tabulates your votes. But at least, since this was a primary, there was no wait as the place was a virtual ghost town aside from the comedian across from me.

Then there was the longer of the civics lesson last week as I got picked for jury duty last week. I had been summons twice before, once I was in line to be the alternate, so once the first person got tossed in the selection process, I was up, and promptly got tossed myself. It was an underage drinking case and I had just graduated from college and apparently the prosecutor must have taking Animal House too literal and though all college students were alcoholics so that ended my first jury duty experience. Then last year I got the letter, but there were no court cases that week so I never had to appear.

As for this time around, I was juror number three and since the first two didn’t show up, I was first one in the jury box and met both lawyers litmus test as I survivor their six juror objections. The selection process took most of the first day and had to break for lunch before anyone got dismissed. Not that they fed us or anything as I took the time to hang out in my car and listen to Jim Rome as I chowed down on some McNuggets.

The case boiled down to an old guy ramming into a high school dude who failed to yield the right away, which had already be decided when we got to the case. So this was a civil case, so the plaintiff only had to prove was a burden of proof and there was only eight of us, and a alternate. The case move really slowly and there seemed to be a lot of time where the people involved in the case were discussing thing with the judged while we were sequestered in the jury room. Speaking of the judge, the honorable guy seemed to care less about things. He constantly cracked jokes and spent a most of the trial on hip laptop, doing what, I don’t know. And when he wasn’t on it, he had his feet up on the bench or started wondering around the courthouse.

Then after three days of testimonies, we retired to the jury room. I was less than thrilled with the other jurors who routinely went off topic or talked about things that should have had no bearing on the case. Then came the hard part of assigning a dollar amount to pain and suffering as well as other intangibles, but at least, since we were in the deliberation phase, we got free lunch out of it, and it was enough to make it dinner that night too. I was disappointed to find out that we were giving no guideline on how to come up with a number because I’m sure it’s hard for any random person off the street to do so, so it would be nice if the government would help us civilians out. But alas, that didn’t happen so he had to come up with a number from scrap aside from an example from the plaintiff’s attorney that was extremely high. Being a heartless and ruthlessly cruel person, I was surprised to find that my number amount that I threw out was the highest of the group. And when, remembering my statistics days that it was much more accurate way to calculate things, I suggested that we take the median, I basically suggested to simply throw out my number.

So after about five hours, the Forman gave the decision to the decision and my civic duty, which will net me sixty dollars whenever the county decides to send me my check, was done until November when I undoubtedly will pick more losers. As for jury duty, hopefully the next bout will be the easier, beyond a reasonable doubt case.