Spoiled

One thing that has really bugging me lately is the advent of the spoiler, or worse the people who think it is common knowledge. The most recent example of this was with Shannon’s death on Lost. It was widely reported for months that a female cast member was going to die early in the second season of the show. Then people on message board would talk freely about it without giving a proper warning that they should so even those of us who didn’t want to be spoiled were anyways. And even though I was able to avoid exactly who was going to die since I was already told it was a female, that ruled out all but three people on the show and since there was no way they would kill off Kate, it then became a toss up between Shannon and Claire.

Then for the few who were able to avoid the spoilers entirely, the show itself let everyone that someone would die in the previews the episode before. And this is another problem that has arisen lately, with the previews giving away too much in the previews and it’s not just Lost, almost every other show does this these days. Is it really that hard to promote an episode without giving away major plot points? Yeah a lot of people turned in to find out who died but how many people stopped after that episode because all the drama has been sucked out of the show because you know pretty much everything that will happen. As soon as Shannon went into the jungle I knew that Ana Lucia was going to shoot her not know who she was. Yeah, I won’t be one of those who will just watching (just yet) but I do feel as embarrassed to watch Lost much like the reality shows on VH1.

But really the people who are to blame are the people that just have to know. And to them I have to ask “Why?” It’s obvious to me show are not as good if you know what’s a going to happen so why don’t you just wait like the rest of us? The easy answer is in our culture to always be first even if it’s the first to know what happens. But I ask to those who do enjoy the spoilers please keep it to yourselves or at the very least create you own top-secret spoiler message boards so as not to annoy those of us that want find things out as we watch our shows. And Lost isn’t the only show that will be ruined for me this season as I’ve run across a couple more deaths spoilers on other show that I watch that will likely ruin that show like it has brought down this season of Lost, but since I am compassionate, I won’t spoil it like the punks that did it to me.

With that all said within the next couple days I will be posting a review on the last Star Wars movie that will have a few spoilers throughout it. The difference between this and the Lost spoilers is that there has been plenty of time for everyone to see the movie. And Episode III is odd in that if you have already seen Episodes I, II, IV, V, and VI, you pretty know everything that’s going to happen anyways. So be sure to look out for that and if you haven’t seen the move, I still will put a spoiler warning at the beginning of the post as not to ruin it for you.

Record People Are Shady: Fall Preview Edition

Usually I reserve Tuesday for the biggest new album release for the week except all the “new” releases happen to be old. Headlining the new releases this week are greatest hits packages by Destiny’s Child, *NSync, and Angie Stone and live albums by Aerosmith and the re-release 2 CD set of George Harrison’s Concert for Bangladesh. Also in the old is new philosophy is a Christmas album by Faith Evans. No wonder why the record industry is failing, we are exactly two months away from Christmas and the biggest new album with actual new songs is by Fefe Dobson. That can’t be a good sign of what’s to come.

Next week continues the onslaught of greatest hits with albums by Blink182 and Nivana’s Sliver: Best of the Box slimming last years With the Lights Out into one single disk with a few new unreleased tracks so they can squeeze even more money out of the diehard fans. But next week does have an actual marquee name with the release of Santana’s third all-star outing, All That I Am featuring vocals from Mary J. Blige, Big Boi of Outkast, Will.I.Am, Sean Paul, Joss Stone, Steven Tyler, Anthony Hamilton, Los Lonely Boys, a return appearance of Michelle Branch, and some dude named Bo Bice (didn’t he lose some karaoke contest or something?). There will also generational battle of the guitar virtuosos with Robert Randolph and Kirk Hammett appearing on the same song. But what I’ll be looking forward to next week is a pair a DVD’s that will be released, Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith and R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-12.

Other notable releases in the next couple weeks include more greatest hits Limp Bizkit, Beastie Boys, Motörhead, John Fogerty, Alanis Morissette and even a re-release of Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run and Mariah Carey’s The Emancipation of Mimi which I did a decent job ignoring the last time around hopefully I’ll do the same this time around. Also expect new albums with actual new songs by Neil Diamond, Madonna, Shakira, 50 Cent, a live album from the newly minted John Mayer Trio, and the debut of Jamie Foxx. And just when you think things can’t get any worse, the dude from Creed is releasing a solo album. God help us all.

My fall suggestions:

Musings From the Back 9 vol. V

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We on Award Tour - 2005 MTV Movie Awards

Typically the best award show, MTV Movie Awards was last night. But could it overcome the horribly unfunny Jimmy Fallon? First, let me judge the commercials that led up to the show. First there was the Chewbacca one, not so funny as I could care less about celebrity coupling. Then there was the Maria Full of Grace short. This was I actually did find funny but I have a feeling that 95% of the MTV demographic have never even heard of the movie. But when it comes down to it, neither were as funny as the one Fallon did a couple years back for the VMA’s when he said “You would make out with me in front of my doorman when I said ‘This is Natalie Portman from Star Wars, what to watch me make out with her?’”

Then we had to sit through the pre-show which was a half of hour of watching Nicole Richie and Fat Joe (and fat is being nice, he should be known as Morbidly Obese Joe) hit on the people they were supposed to be interviewing. I’m so glad to arrive early for that.

There were three shorts throughout the night. The show opened with one of the worst ones of all time with the unfunny Jimmy Fallon being picked up by Batman who turns out to be some one who is somehow not even funnier than Fallon, Napoleon Dynamite. The skit didn’t make sense because, like everyone else, I haven’t seen Batman Begins. Next we have the Star Wars parody. Again not funny, maybe because they were making light of the darkest scenes in Star Wars history. Last we have the Fallon-free Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson sketch. Not their best work bust still funnier than anything Fallon did all night.

As for the musically performances, we start of with Eminem doing what he does best, making fun of pop stars, then transitions into a medley of two of his worst songs ever. Is this guy seriously in his thirties? I have no comment of Mariah Carey’s performance as I switched over to watch Vanilla Ice’s performance on Hit Me Baby One More Time. Then we get a special performance by Yellowcard during The Breakfast Club tribute. Can we pass a law forbidding them from ever singing Don’t You (Forget About Me) ever again please? And while we're at it, can we please ban all "punk" bands that sound more like the Backstreet Boys than The Clash? The last performance is by the Foo Fighters who are basically a hit-or-miss band. I have to say that song was a miss.

One band we didn’t see was Nine Inch Nails who pulled out after MTV found a picture of George Bush to be too offensive. So let me get this straight, Jackass – Not offensive; Letting Jimmy Fallon fondle Sandra Bullock – not offensive; Having Eminem perform as song where he obsesses over an under aged girl’s butt – Not offensive; Picture of George Bush - Offensive. Um, OK, if you say so.

We also get two new special awards as it seems that the Lifetime Achievement Award and Best New Director Award are no longer as we now get the some sort of “Generation Award” for Tom Cruise. They really got rid of the Lifetime Achievement Award for this? Did MTV just create this award so they could have a reason to have Katie Holmes and Cruise on the stage at the same time? Then the cast of The Breakfast Club were apparently awarded the Stanly Cup. I’m sure the hockey fans were glad to finally se it again. Maybe I’m too young, but I never got the appeal of the movie or any John Hughes’ movie. I guess you had to be in high school in the eighties or a girl to appreciate them. And lets be honest, the only reason why this movie got the award was because they wouldn’t be able to get Sean Penn, Nicholas Cage, and Jennifer Jason Lee to get back together for a Fast Times reunion.

As for my predictions (If You Can Dodge a Wrench, You Can Dodge a Ball) I voted for a measly four of the fourteen awards. I didn’t do much well predicating as I only got six correct. Looking at the winner’s list, it looks like I severely overestimated the nerd population. I thought they would come out and have Spiderman 2 sweep the awards they were up for. Instead the D&D crowd instead voted for their own personal bio-flick Napoleon Dynamite. I already stated my conspiracy theory about Napoleon being produced by MTV studios, so I won’t go into that again.

Funniest acceptation surprisingly goes to the biggest surprise winner, Dustin Hoffman (seriously, does anyone who watches MTV see Meet the Fockers?), who rightfully put Eminem in his place. As for the most boring speech, that goes to Lindsay Lohan who warns us to watch out for the paparazzi. Um, OK, thanks for the tip. Granted the only reason she won was because most of the votes were taken before her magical disappearing breast trick, otherwise Rachel McAdams, who is pretty hot for a Canadian, would have made it a clean sweep for the night. While I’m talking about The Notebook I finally got a look at the dude from The Notebook, the dude everyone was comparing me to this winter, for the first time, and I see no resemblance. Not to mention, sadly no one who looks like Rachel McAdams had jumped on me during that time. Oh well.

For those keeping track, that would be three bland MTV Awards shows in a row. Here’s a suggestion to MTV, through tons of money at Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle for this year’s VMA’s.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. IV

- Tonight is the greatest event in all of sports: the NBA Draft Lottery. Yeah it's rigged but it's always interesting to see who shows up for their respective teams. Will Kobe show up? LeBron? Will Spike Lee be the Knicks' representative? One thing for sure is that Elgin Baylor will be there for the 91^st time. Check out the Sports Guy's take on the event: Lottery Ticket.

- It was just announced that Wicked Wisdom has joined the roster of this year's Ozzfest. Now that might not be newsworthy until you find out that Wicked Wisdom is actually a Christian metal band... whose lead singer happens to be Jada Pickett Smith. Yes that is Mrs. Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I think Vegas has the line set at three shows before she quits.

- Apparently the latest trend to sweep the nation is Movieoke. And it's pretty much what you think it is, karaoke with movies. Great, sign me up. I can't wait until I go, "You little son of a (expletive deleted) ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE (expletive deleted) BALL!" or "O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about this (expletive deleted) who's a regular (expletive deleted) machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, (a lot of expletive deleteds). Then one day she meets this John Holmes (expletive deleted) and it's like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape, he's digging tunnels. Now, she's gettin' the serious (expletive deleted) action and she's feeling something she ain't felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her, you know her (expletive deleted) should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat (expletive deleted) her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a (expletive deleted) machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, Like a Virgin." in front of a bunch of drunks. And one can hope the Fox in the future will follow up American Karaoke with American Movieoke. (Free plugs to anyone who can name one or both movie quotes. Leave your guesses in the comment section.)

- Natalie Portman has apparently came down with a case of the Sinéad O'Connor disease. It seems that she cut off her hair for a prison movie that she is doing. I was unaware that they shaved women's hair in prison, but oh well. Maybe if she was playing a cancer survivor, I'd understand the look, but not a prison inmate. This new hairstyle has dropped Portman out of my top 5. So now I will have to make an exhausting search to join Kate Bosworth, Natalie Coughlin, and the token hot chicks from Smallville and Lost. Any TV executive interested in a new reality show idea?


- Keeping with the Star Wars theme, it seems that a lot of people are drawing comparisons between Darth Vader and George W. Bush. God bless stupid people. In this scenario wouldn't that make George W. Luke Skywalker and George H.W. Bush Darth Vader? That would be backwards because George H.W. Bush was a good president and George W. Bush is the evil one. For more on this lunacy check out The Empire Strikes Bush.

- Is it just me or did the dude from Coldplay look like Schroeder from Peanuts on Saturday Night Live when he was at the piano?

- Speaking of SNL, how many more times does Horatio Sanz get to forget a line or go out of character before he gets fired? Does he have something over Loren Michaels? Does Michaels keep him on because if he gave Sanz the boot then he would have to find a token fat guy and a token Hispanic dude?

- Now I didn't watch it, and I hope none of you watched it, but I hope child welfare workers watched Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.

- There is nothing more depressing than knowing the one of the back up lip-syncers in *NSYNC actually dated #1 on Maxim’s Top 100 list I and haven’t. Shouldn’t dating a boy bander, by virtue, drop you a few notches anyways?


- It’s never a good sign when a pitcher on fantasy team gets tennis elbow from spending four hours a day e-mailing his brother. Hey, Carlos Zambrano, it’s called a telephone; I think you can afford the long distance charge. But I guess it’s my fault drafting a pitcher that is coached by Dusty Baker.

- A couple of weeks ago, it was reported that the armed forces came up way short on recruitment goal, and those enrollment may go lower. Patrick Tillman’s family is blasting the US military for giving covered up the investigation into Tillman’s death in Afghanistan. They also accuse the military of created a heroic tale about how Pat died in hopes of garnishing a patriotic response. This brings to mind Jessica Lynch who became a national hero just by being rescued. I remembered the military that rescued Jessica refuse to use a key that an Iraqi offered them because knocking the door down made a better story. It’s sad that it took ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on Sunday to honor the true hero of that story, Lori Piestewa who gave her life in Iraq. For more on the Pat Tillman story, check out Tillman’s parents lash out at Army.

Star Wars Week - May the Schwartz be with You

I'm ending Star Wars Week with a post so big, it took three days to complete it. OK the main reason it took three days is because I was miserably sick for most of it. But at least it gives me a reason to take more NyQuil (check out my obsession for NyQuil here - NyQuil, We Love You, You Giant *cough*ing Q). And what's worse, due to illness I missed the latest Star Wars. They may have to revoke my nerd card for this. With Memorial Day next weekend, I'm sure I can fit it in, but avoiding spoilers will be the hard part. Today I'll be review the perfect Star Wars parody.

As I mention in my Blazzing Saddles review, nobody does parody better than Mel Brooks, and that definitely holds true for the quintessential Star Wars parody, Spaceballs. From Princess Leia's hair head phones to Pizza the Hutt. Instead of Darth Vader there was Dark Helmet, instead of Princess Leia, there was Princess Vespa, instead of C-3PO there was Dot, instead of Chewbacca there was Barf. Instead of warp speed there was ludicrous speed. Lone Starr played like a cross between Hans Solo and Luke Skywalker (get it? Lone - Solo; Sky - Star, OK maybe I'm pushing it). And of course there was Yogurt instead of Yoda.

There were not as many great quotes as there was in Blazing Saddles but there some great quotes from Spaceballs that will live on forever. "I bet she gives great helmet." "Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. Lone Starr: What's that make us? Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing!" “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine." "I knew it. I'm surrounded by idiots (Granted this the TV edit version as the movie is slightly different and does not pass the censors!" And who hasn't been robbed at gunpoint at their ATM, asks for their PIN number and answered, "1... 2... 3... 4... 5..." (Or am I the only one?)

Star Wars wasn't the only sci-fi film to get the Brooks' treatment, as Star Trek gets a slight jab as Snotty poorly beamed President Skroob down. And the alien popping out of a diner patron then puts on his own musical number. They even got the original Kane to reprise his Alien character.

Another trademark Brooks move is always going the extra mile for a joke, even if that includes braking down the fourth wall. He openly hawks Spaceballs crap (again a shot at Star Wars's marketing campaign), "Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower." And when the villains have lost the heroes, they watch Spaceballs the Movie while the movie is still going on. Yogurt even mentions that he and Lone Starr will me again in Spaceballs 2: Back for More Cash, which has sadly not materialized yet. Hopefully the prequels will inspire Brooks to show us how Dark Helmet came to be.

Spaceballs gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Sadly I bought Spaceballs shortly before I heard they were releasing a Collector's Edition, so I just have the bare bones DVD. I'm sure I'll upgrade as soon as I see the Collector's Edition in the bargain bin.

Star Wars Week - Original Bonus Material

Day four of Star Wars Week and I’m so jealous of those that who went last night to the opening and the response is so good I wish I had blown off my commitments, or just passed on getting any sleep last night, to see it myself. But a wise man once told me tomorrow is only a day away. Today I’ll be looking at the bonus material on the DVD set of the original trilogy. This includes about 5642 different trailers for the three films (give or take 1000, but there are quite a few of them), a massive photo gallery, a behind the scenes preview of Episode III (it has nothing new so I’ll refrain reviewing of it), a demo of the game Star Wars: Battlefront (my lack of an Xbox keep me from playing it), and a few documentaries that included:

The Characters of Star Wars

This was a documentary that chronicled the many changes that some of the characters of Star Wars went through from Lucas’ first conception until they finally made it onto the screen. Most interesting was that Darth Vader was given a mask late because the designer realized that he need a way to breath in a scene where he was walking in space. This then led the most memorable part of Darth Vader, his breathing. Another change that made me giggle was that Luke Skywalker was originally supposed to be a midget. Oh, how that would have been a different movie then. The most interesting par of this documentary was when Peter Jackson, of Lord of the Rings fame, said that 25 year later, most people don’t remember the special effect of Star Wars, it the character that have stuck in people’s minds. That may be the problem of the prequels is that Lucas cared more about the special effects than he did developing the characters.

The Birth of the Lightsaber

Here Lucas tells how he came up with the idea of the lightsaber and how he executed that on film. It was very interesting to see the split screen of a fight with the rough fighting and that with the special effects put in. The highlight though is how they came up with the sound of the lightsaber, a sound that every little kid has tried to emulate, or still does. Watching film of the guy creating the sound is worth the price of the set alone. As the credits roll we get to see Star Wars as seen through the eyes of the Simpsons and Futurerama. Again very entertaining.

The Force is with Them: The Legacy of Star Wars

Here we have filmmakers such as James Cameron, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, and John Singleton talking about their first experiences with seeing Star Wars. Then they talked about how the movie inspired their own movies such as Titanic, Alien, Lord of the Rings, and Boyz in da Hood. OK, Singleton seemed to be missing from this part. Basically this featurette was a fifteen minute love fest for George Lucas.

Empire of Dreams

I haven’t gotten around to watching this part yet as it is so long that it is the first documentary that I’ve seen that actually has its own chapter selection. Check back later for this review.

Star Wars Week - Bounty Hunter Review

I've collected Star Wars videogames ever since the Atari days. Some were better than other, but LucasArts has hit its stride putting out entertaining games one after another. I have yet to get the Revenge of the Sith tie in game as I'm avoiding all types of spoilers until I have seen the movie. Sadly that won't be tonight, but I will be seeing it this weekend. Don't expect a review of it either as will be too tempted to spoil things myself. Expect a full review when the DVD comes out. But back to the videogame theme, my favorite game that has anything to do with the movies is Star Wars: Bounty Hunter. And yes, I did get a copy with the Limited Edition Cover Art (not pitcured above). Granted it's only special in that it has Limited Edition Cover Art written on it and a different, yet cooler, picture of a close up shot of Jango Fett's helmet. Here's a review.

One of the most popular characters from the original trilogy was the bounty hunter Boba Fett. And being one not to pass up a marketing goldmine, George Lucas brought back Boba back for the prequels, showing up in Episode II: Attack of the Clones as the only son of another bounty hunter, Jango Fett, the prototype fore thousand or possibly millions of clones that populate the end of the movie. Star Wars: Bounty Hunter actually takes place between Episode I and Episode II and shows why Jango was chosen as the template for the clone army. The storyline of Bounty Hunter starts off with Count Dooku hiring most relentless bounty hunters to hunt down and deal with a rogue dark Jedi who threatens Darth Sidious' master plan. And whoever succeeds with then become that spawns the clone army. And for anyone who has seen Episode II knows who is going to win (or anyone who was paying attention earlier in this post). But knowing the outcome doesn't ruin the game.

The game play in the game is really smooth. The best part of the game play is Jango’s jetpack. If you get ambushed, all you have to do is power your jetpack backwards and shoot your enemy with your blasters. Other weapons that Jango uses throughout the game are missiles, a whipcord (think Indiana Jones) toxic darts, grenades, and a sniper rifle. How Jango can keep all of these at the same time is beyond me, but I’m glad he can. And since he has some extra time, there are a few bounties that Jango can pick up in each level which he can spot with his ID Scanner. Granted this option is a little tricky switching to this and back to the weapons with ease. But once you capture some one, or some thing, you unlock bonus material including outtakes and concept art.

Since Jango is not the only bounty hunter hired by Dooku, he is frequently running into his competition, Montross, who cares more about the kill than he does the money and Komari Vosa, a former Padawan. Jango even pick up an ally in Zam Wesell, who makes a brief cameo in the beginning of Episode II. He is also helped out by Rozatta, who is basically a female equivalent to Watto, Anakin’s former owner. Jabba the Hutt even makes a brief appearance. On his journey, Jango visits such planets as Coruscant and Tatooine.

Star Wars: Bounty Hunter gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Star Wars Week - Clone Wars Review

It seems that Statboy^* may not have done a very good setting the line in yesterday's Over/Under. There were a lot of over guesses. If you still want to play along, just scroll down a little and enter your guesses in the comment section. In today’s installment of Star Wars Week, I'll be looking at Star Wars: Clone Wars vol. 1 on DVD and also vol. 2, which has yet to find its way to DVD yet.

When I first heard that George Lucas was going to be doing a cartoon version of Star Wars I was a little hesitant. Then I heard that it was going to chronicle the Clone Wars and I put my nerd hat back on. The Clone Wars in the Star Wars mythology was a massive war that brought the rise of the Empire and the demise of the Jedi. Not even the prequel haters can complain about this. Then I heard that the episodes would clock in at 4 minutes. I've urinated longer than that. And so the nerd hat came off. That's a lot to ask to tune in for 5 minutes at 8:00, the start of the primetime. But I guess that why they invented TIVO (not that I'm cool enough to have a TIVO, I instead had to use the VCR). After watching the first couple episodes, the nerd hat came back on.

First thing I noticed about the Clone Wars series was that Lucas alleviated the number one problem that has plagued most of the movies, ear bleeding dialogue. A majority of the episode go without any talking. The major storyline involved Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker trying to take another world back for the Republic. But Mace Windu, Padme with her droids, and Yoda get their own screen time. Even little known Jedis Kit Fisto (an underwater, Bob Marley look-alike) and Luminara Unduli get their own mini-episodes.

The best part of the Clone Wars are the introductions (and sometimes demises) of some of the baddest characters in the Star Wars lexicon with all due respect to Darths Maul and Vader. Durge, with his flair for medieval battle, wipes out a bunch of clones with his lance easily. Plus his Terminator (Robert Patrick version) like tendencies makes him very hard to kill. Asajj Ventress is a (wannabe?) Sith whose is hired by Lord Dooku to be a thorn in Anakin's side. And the last episode features the baddest of them all, General Grievous, the only non Jedi or Sith that uses a lightsaber. And as an added bonus, he's also the only character that can wield three at one time. Grievous is the only baddy here that will make an appearance in Episode III, and I am interested in seeing how the pull him off on the big screen, especially the three lightsaber trick.

There were a few unintentionally funny things that happened during the Clone Wars. First has to be the appearance of Shaggy, of Scooby Doo fame making an appearance as a Padawan. I had to watch this a couple time because I though the Scooby Snack I was eating were making me hallucinate. Secondly, I cannot get enough of Yoda riding on his mini-horse, it good for a chuckle. Also, for reason unbeknownst to anyone, the started out the four minute episodes with a "previously on" montage and ended each with a "on the next Clone Wars." These end up being almost as long as the actual episodes.

Don't check out the Clone Wars vol. 1 expecting any furthering of any of the movie's plot points. Aside from the appearance of Grievous, there is nothing here that gives us any insight on what will happen in the future. Also, don't expect to hear Natalie Portman or any of the stars voices on the DVD as only Anthony Daniels lend the orginal voice to his cartoon counterpoint as C-3PO. The thing that irritated me most is in one of the documentaries on the DVD; Lucas stated that the Clone Wars were the most exciting part of the Star Wars universe. If that is so, why did you not make a movie about it then? He should have scraped The Phantom Menace, make The Attack of the Clones Episode I, and the Clone Wars Episode II.

Star Wars: Clone Wars vol. 1 gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

---

Not yet on DVD yet is Clone Wars vol. 2. Now we get five fifteen minute episode instead of 20 four minute like vol. 1. Vol. 2 starts off with a lot more dialogue than the first but luckily this trails off and we are left with more action in the latter episode. They were also were able to sneak in a little love story into one of the episodes. Also this season better bridges to Episode III with General Grievous kidnapping Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin becoming a Jedi Knight. I will wait until the DVD release for a more thorough review or rating it.

Star Wars Week - Over/Under

To start off Star Wars Week here on the 9^th Green, I thought I start it off with a little game of Over/Under. For those who are unaware how to play, here are the rules. The commissioner will provide you with a number and an explanation of what the number represents. Then you go into the comments section and guess whether you think the actual number will be over or under the number provide (an example is provided in the comment section). And unless your name is Michael Wilbon, you are not allowed to push (pick the number provided). Also, I have not read the book, played the game, seen an advanced screening, and I have avoided spoilers the best I can, so if you know the answers to the following, please do not ruin it for the rest of us please. Now on to the game:

It's time for the game that's seeping the nation, Over/Under. Let's get our first number from the commissioner, Statboy^*.

1. 3 - Total screen time in minutes for Darth Vader
   
2. 10 - Total Jedi killed onscreen
   
3. 5 - Number of original trilogy references not already mentioned in Episodes 1 or 2.
   
4. $30,141,471- Domestic opening day gross (This is how much Episode II grossed, Episode I took in $28,542,349)
   
5. 20 - The number of years before Star Wars Episode VII is released.
   

^*Statboy, Pardon the Interruption, and ESPN are in no way affiliated with Scooter McGavin's 9^th Green.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. II

- My fantasy basketball team, Shawn Kemp's Revenge, came in second this season behind Boom Pow Surprise! Not bad for some one who just recently found out that they are now six divisions in the NBA.

- You know it's officially Spring when Ohio's state flower, the Orange Barrel, starts to sprout on highways.

- If a girl wears a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt and refuses to make out with you, can you sue her for false advertising?

- Am I the only one who was disappointed when the Nationals unveiled their new mascot, Screech, and Dustin Diamond didn't come out of the egg?

- What I can't understand is how ABC let a cable channel that it owns outbid itself for the rights to Monday Night Football? You don't see Bravo outbidding NBC for the rights to The Tonight Show. What's next, is ABC going to lose Desperate Housewives to ABCFamily? And is there anyplace where I can put money on John Madden jumping to NBC's Sunday Night game instead of moving to ESPN?

- A couple weeks ago, I lusted over the token hot chick in the Pepsi/iTunes commercial and after an exhausting search it turns out she actually has a name: Mandy Amano.

- So Tom DeLay's excuse for taking improper donation is "everyone else does it." Is this guy in Middle School? It's time to get rid of him and I have no problem if he takes down "everyone else" with him.

- New Dave Matthews Band video, American Baby, premiered this week. Decent song with a cool cross-section of the real American population that goes beyond Red State/Blue State. Check back in early May for a special Dave Matthews Band week to commemorate the release of their new album, Stand Up, culminating in a review of the new album as DMB is a rare life time member of the First Day Club.



- It's not a new Star Wars movie time until Lucas finds a new way to pimp the franchise. Although the Cingular Ring Tone ads with Chewbacca are brilliant. Hopefully we get to see more recording sessions. A side note, check back May 12th for another special week, this time for Star Wars.

- A while back I reported on the NFL's list of names you cannot put on the back of jerseys. It seems that weeks after lifting the ban on "Gay" (which made sense considering they have a few player with that last name), they have finally found a name to fill "Gay's" spot, Ron Mexico. The ban was prompted after a slew of requests for "Mexico" on the back of Falcons' jersey #7. Some got a chuckle out of that they other might want to make a Google search (check the top left potion of the page).

- After constantly listening to the Ben Folds cover of Dr. Dre's (expletive deleted) Ain't (expletive deleted) I got to wondering, if I were a sensitive singer-songwriter, what gangsta rap song would I cover? After an extensive search through my massive gangsta rap library, I would have to go with The Ghetto Boys' Mind Playing Tricks On Me. Now that's some real conversation for your (expletive deleted).

Musings From the Back 9

I found this over at He Says, She Says and had to take the test myself. Must be a very scientific test if I end up being my boy, Indiana Jones.


:: how jedi are you? ::
Some other musings that don't deserve their own place:

- Why is everyone knocking Tiger Woods for putting off the green and Billy Casper for dropping a 105 at the Masters? Don't those happen all the time (or is it just me)?

- I was checking out the status of my new name (yes I'm conceited, so what) and found out that there is another Scooter McGavin who started a petition to legalize a certain banned substance and I'm not referring to the cream or the clear. And to top things off, the petition is being sent to the government. Why don't they just send a letter to the government asking to be arrested? Morons.

- Am I the only one who was mad when they realized Fair Enough was not really an upcoming sitcom. I first saw the ad on Fox, so I was convince that it was real. This would have instantly been the second best sitcom next to Arrested Development.

- I passed on Sin City this weekend and last after picking up a promo DVD at Best Buy that had three scenes and a couple of documentaries. It looks like the film will look great visually but the plot seems a little slow and fits better as a comic book graphic novel than a movie. Although I can almost guarantee that I'll take a look at it when the DVD comes out. (Also keep in mind that it not too visually groundbreaking either as Boyz II Men did the back and white with drops of color almost 15 years ago in the It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday video.)

- Another movie I won't be seeing this weekend, or ever for that matter is Fever Pitch. Any male who is seen coming out of this movie should have his Man Card promptly revoked.

- Stat of the day: Roger Clemens is 3 for 3 with the bases loaded and batting .333 with runners in scoring position. Granted his batting average will be raised after yesterdays game when, after the Reds intentionally walking Willy Taveras and letting him steal second, Clemens batted in two runs on an infield hit. This turned out to be the game winner as the Astros won 3-2.

- Big Head Barry Update: He is currently rehabbing with BALCO's own Greg Anderson whom Big Head Barry referred to as a "wonderful person, a very, very giving person." The problem, Big Head Barry, is when what the person is giving you happens to be an illegal substance, that is not a good thing. It's quality over quantity that counts, Barry.

A Long Time Ago... Star Wars Rocked!

It's been a big week for nerds as the onslaught of the new Star Wars has begun. On Thursday, there was the world premiere of the trailer in The O.C. and no I didn't watch the show just to see the trailer. Seriously, I didn't. Survivor was on. (To get a little off subject, it was way too early to vote off the token hot chick.) But thanks to the wonder of the internet, I could check out the trailer that night. On it we get short glimpses of Chewbacca (or at least a Wookie), General Grievous (I think), and the massive forehead Jedi (who will forever remind me of Andy Dick) along with the newly hardcore Anakin. It's nice to see he trades the teen-angst, metro sexual looks for the heroin going through withdrawal look. Even with all the action in the trailer, we still need to watch Episode III to see how Coach Carter and the other Jedi, Natalie Portman (which would top the worst idea to kill off a hot chick since Mandy Moore died in A Walk to Remember. Umm, not that I saw it or anything), Jar-Jar, and the guy from NYPD Blue die. Assuming they all die in course of the movie, not the time in-between Episodes III and IV, which would be a let down. Or even worse, if the characters just disappear. What I'm most interested in seeing is how they turn Hayden Christensen into a black man.

On Sunday, George Lucas had an interview with 60 Minutes which showed about 15 more seconds of the movie that they didn't show in the trailer. The 15 extra seconds did include what looked to be an extended look at General Grievous, who could turn out to be the best part of the movie. But the big news for me was the small tidbit of my favorite Lucas trilogy. No not Episodes IV-VI or even I-III, I'm talking about Indiana Jones (which I guess will officially take it out of the category of trilogy). Unfortunately, there was no major information about my favorite archeologist or even a timeline of when it will happen.

Then next week is the release of the best part of the prequels (so far), Star Wars - Clone Wars, Vol. 1. For those who missed it, Clone Wars were mini episodes chronicling what happens between Episode II and Episode III that aired on the Cartoon Network last fall. A new season starts March 26th, so keep your eyes pealed out for that.