Showing posts with label SHIELD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SHIELD. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/17/16


The Girlfriend Experience: Awe, free preview weekends, three days when I plop myself on the couch and am reminded why I do not watch many movies anymore because there are not that many being made. Except when I went to check out Starz free preview last weekend they had taken all but one movie off their On Demand channel. It is one thing to waste an entire weekend watching crappy movies On Demand, but I am not sitting around waiting for them to start (well, except Ant-Man so I am now caught up on Marvel movies… which will last less than a month).

But while Starz took off all their movies from On Demand to keep people like me from exploiting the free weekend, they did upload the entire first season of The Girlfriend Experience the day it premiere. I was not expecting much since the movie was horrible. Yet is was surprisingly compelling and actually the prostitution part was the least interesting as the lead character as an intern stumbling on some shady dealing at the law firm she is at was much more fascinating. The show kind of reminded me of last year’s best new show Mr. Robot in the show is very cold, you could sub in the shady law firm with Evil Corp. Both the leads sever mental issues but as introverted as Elliot is, Christine is that much more an extrovert. And where Elliot had friends, family, a therapist, and some drugs to keep him grounded, Christine lives in a world where being an extrovert is encouraged and even rewarded.

Unfortunately after six and a half hours on the couch Sunday, the show ended with a huge thud. I would even say it was the worst season finale of a great first season of a show since Lost (if you saw the entire first season too, insert your own, both seasons ended with the camera panning into a deep dark hole here). Really the season finale was basically everything that was wrong with the movie. I do not know where the show goes in season, but if the season finale is any indication, I was a lot less interested had they ended the season an episode earlier. Granted I probably will not see it until the nest Starz free weekend, and that is only if they do not take the season off On Demand.

House of Lies: Oh Veronica Mars, you had to know Vinnie Van Lowe would do something sleazy. But you had to know, just like every other time the group gets split up, they would end up back all together, I am just a little surprised it happened as early as the second episode.

Fear the Walking Dead: Could they have come up with a more boring season premiere? It is becoming pretty clear why the flagship show flash forward a couple months and went straight into the middle of the zombie apocalypse.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the start of the season, Showtime, of all the networks, had to know they could not keep Sargent Brody on the show too long. The season had to end with him get arrested. They just could not do a cat and mouse game for multiple season. Maybe season two is the trial, but there had to be some payoff. Yet here we are at the end of the season and the biggest thing that happened in the season finale was Wendy quitting (and getting a very nice severance package). What is worse it seemed like the writers had this big plan to end the season with a big show down between Axe and Chuck (okay the Axe tearing up Axe Capital and then “going deeper” was pretty cool) but we already had that scene in the season premiere and again in the middle of the season and really all I came away from that scene is, goodness both of these people are really horrible people who deserve to lose.

Quantico: So the big twist at the end was Shelby was driving the van. Meh, it seemed pretty obvious she was doing this against her will so it was not as if the big twist was she was the one behind the phone call.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: This is the second time the show ended an episode with Supergirl charging an antagonist. Not cool. Also not cool was having Martian Manhunter show up in the Next Time On promo even though I never thought he was actually dead. I do think he is playing possum and this was his and Alex’s plan all along to make Non think she was a mindless drone. Also not cool, Superman as a mindless drone so he cannot help his cousin. Seriously, having him off the planet presumably helping the Green Lantern Corp. (though I doubt he will ever hear that term on the show) was good enough, having him join the mindless drones way off in the distance was really cheesy. Really my big takeaway from the episode was Maxwell Lord calling the president “she.” I guess it should not be that surprising that there was not a president Lex Luther in this universe. I wonder if we will get to meet her, if it is someone from the comics, or it was some cheap, hey a woman can be president Hollywood ploy.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: I thought Penquin killing the dog was going to be the most despicable thing he did this week but feeding his step-brother and sister to his step-mother… that is some Eric Cartman level evil right there.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: During my last Power Rankings I mentioned hoe diverse the top twenty was, but for some inexplicable reason, all four Coach’s Comeback were boring white dude and of course the bored housewives ate that up and two got voted through making half of America’s Saves white males. I looked back and in the Live Playoff seasons, white guys have made up at least half of America’s saves five of seven seasons (interesting enough, not one white guy was voted through by America in season four). I do not understand why the producers are letting bored housewives to run the show into the ground the way they did America Idol and their obsession with WGWG over there. It was pretty appropriate that The Voice hit a series low in the ratings for the results show. Count me as one of the many they have lost for the season because I have no interest in another boring white dude dominated season.

Lucifer: Well that was an interesting twist that Lucifer can only be hurt when the lady cop is around. So what exactly is her deal? We already know the Jedi mind tricks thing does not work on him and now she can hurt him. Was she sent, or blessed, by God?
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh Chrissy Seaver, your boyfriend dies going after a clue on his own, why are you doing the same? And if you are going to have Chrissy talking to people in her head, at lead make her Mr. Robot level paranoid about it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I had to laugh when the guy Daisy was hunting down commented on her partner’s “boy band hair.” Well that was until we actually got a good look at the guy and he looked even more like a male model. And that is pretty cheap to offer a trade and then renig. I actually want to know what his power is now.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I have a long standing rule to never believe someone is dead until you see the body (and even then still be suspicious), but I was pretty confident that Lyla Garrity was dead at the end of the last episode. Apparently not and not only that the Kool-Aide is strong because not only did she not call the police when she went to the hospital, she went even deeper down the rabbit hole and now is taking a bigger opposition within the cult out west. As much as I enjoyed Hannibal, I thought its cancelation was probably a good thing for Hugh Dancy’s mental health, but his new role is pretty dark too. That one scene in the bedroom was almost as disturbing as anything he did on Hannibal. And I wonder if 7R is just an excuse to torture Eddie. Then after Mary’s story, I wonder if FBI is more reluctant to take her back to her father.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: In the two seasons they have done this gimmick, one running theme is that everyone on the Brains tribe just completely overthinks everything. Aubry targeting the hot chick was just a really bad idea. If she is wrong, hot chick loyal, now you do not have the ability to split your votes, if you are right, the other alliance has two Idols to play with. Aubry lucked out that hot chick won Immunity, except Aubry came up with a dumber idea; vote out Debbie simply for telling hot chick the plan. Oh, and it gets dumberer, when the old dude tells Aubry how dumb the idea is and he will not vote for Debbie, Aubry tries to recruit hot chick, the person she originally wanted to get out, the person she was now targeting Debbie for because she did not trust with the vote splitting plan, to get the deciding vote. What?!?

That was just comically stupid. Now Aubry loses a loyal member of her alliance, is stuck with a potential flipper in the hot chick, the douchebag alliance still has two Idols, and now you do not have enough people to split the vote. Had Aubry just stuck with the vote splitting, best case scenario, they pick right, one of the douchebags go home; worst case scenario, both Idols get played, they chose the wrong two people to place votes on, and body builder goes home, but both Idols are at of play. Of course it seems like Aubry does not know what exactly the SuperIdol does so she may not realize that whoever they split their votes for could Voltron the two Idols after the votes are read, but still, even if that happens, both Idols are flushed and they are still down an alliance member.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

The Americans: Nina got the ax last week, will Martha be joining her soon? It does not seem like she can keep things up like they are for very much longer.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Well that was unexpected. That is not to say that it crossed my mind that Lizzie faked her death to get away from Red. It was noticeable that she said something to extent that she thought that doctor was going to be the one on call. Did she make a plot with him? It would be weird to kill Lizzie now, basically killed by the guys who were being very careful not to harm her. And he never learned who hired them. Maybe it was Lizzie who hired them as part of the decoy.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Orphan Black: There is nothing more annoying on television these days than the proliferation of hashtags blanketing the screen. Just the show’s name is annoying enough, but it is worse when they try to create new hashtags for specific scenes. Though I kind of liked when Orphan Black let me know to the effect they were going #BackToTheBeginning because it may have taken longer for me to realize they started the season with a flashback. I wonder if we will get more Beth this season, since the flashback did not go all the way up to running into Sarah, I have a feeling we may see her again.
You can downloadvOrphan Black on iTunes.

Saturday, April 09, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/9/16



Once Upon a Time: Did we ever meet Dorothy when the show first introduced Oz. Weird that she barely shows up when she is the star of that movie. But right now we are in Hercules’ movie and he was just in one episode and seems to be written off the show already.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: You know a show is messed up when someone crashes a wedding to reveal the groom’s heroin stash and you are a little disappointed that that is all that happen. I was expecting the huge massive screwed up wedding and that was pretty tame for a show like this. And as much of a cliché it is, I was a bit disappointed that Chekov’s Gun never came back up. But at least the end scene was entertaining.

The Walking Dead: My favorite part of the episode: right before what looked to be a very large Mexican standoff, Savior dude just whips out a spray paint bottle and marks the dude. My least favorite, obvious the ending, as if last week’s cliffhanger was not annoying enough (and no one ended up dying; not that I thought Darryl had died anyway). Ugg, so the question is, who did Negan bludgeon to death (presumably, we did have two fake out cliffhanger deaths this season). Obviously not Rick because Negan wants him to watch the death as punishment for killing his people. I am also crossing out the females and Carl because Rick is not standing by and watching that. We already had fake out deaths of Daryl and Glen so why kill them now? That leaves Eugene, Abraham, and Aaron. Aaron is the odd man out because he is the newest to the group, but I am going to predict Abraham, he does seems like someone who would talk a beating like that for the team.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: With one episode left I was expecting some big lead up to an epic finale, but instead we get a holding episode where the case was still in limbo. Instead we got weird scenes with Axe and Wendy playing basketball games, Lara and her sister paying a lot of money to shoplift jewelry again, and the DA’s setting off fireworks, we get reminded Chuck is into kinky stuff (Red is kind of a boring safe word). There was a small moment when I thought Axe was leading Wendy out to the middle of nowhere to kill her, or at least try to hook up with her, but alas, they could not even kiss when Chuck spied on them. At least in the final moments we got some movement in the plot, first Chuck catches someone taking pictures of him. Obviously Axe comes to mind first as who put the photographer up to it, but the more I thought about it, Axe won, sure having extra leverage is always nice, but I would not rule out someone else like Chuck’s father or maybe even Rob Morrow. Then, after a season of diligently keeping their private and professional lives separate, finally one of them actually broke that trust with Chuck snooping on Wendy’s computer, finding wrong doing of Axe. So just what is Chuck going to do with that information? And will Wendy realize that Chuck got that information from her?

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Fitz’s explanation of the fourth dimension just made things more confusing, and it even made my understanding of Intersteller more confused too. Then their big plan to keep the future is to make sure Daisy does not leave the base and Coulson vows to not pick up a gun until that future had passed. You just cannot keep her there indefinitely; you do not know how long in the future that happened. Then Lash show up and everyone is like, oh well, I guess Daisy should go to what may be her inevitable death, and Coulsen was quick to end his no gun vow. And why did Abercrombie model whose name I still have not bothered to learn even show up, just to get his face bloodied? But we got another glimpse of presumably will be the season finale but we do now know that is someone’s death and it is of a SHIELD agent… or t least someone wearing a SHIELD uniform.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: I wonder who is going to stray from the cult first, the father and son. And it will likely be for the same reason: a hot chick. I guess Lyla Garrity is currently Schrodinger’s Cat until the next episode when we get confirmation but she seems pretty dead. But what did Sarah think would happen. To me there were only three outcomes after kidnapping her: the release her and she goes to the police for kidnapping, they brainwash her and bring her back into the fold, or she dies, which seemed like the most likely outcome to me. And is there something in door number four? That last shot lingered pretty long on it.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: We already had the worst meltdown in Tribal Council history this season, so Gay Asian’s faux pas does not look that bad in comparison, but c’mon, why are you leaking the Super Idol info? Information is the biggest currency in this game and he blabbed to his second tribe he had an Idol which he did not even use for his advantage, now everyone knows there is some sort of Super Idol floating around. Now I have to wonder if the girls flipped because of that or if they made a last minute decision because of that information. And if that slip was not head scratching enough, Gay Asian then goes and randomly votes for Jason. What!?! I guess the best explanation (other than dude is just completely clueless) was the girls decided to flip pre-Tribal, fed him false information because they did not trust him not to tell Nick and Gay Asian ended up doing what the girls told him. Should be interesting what happens next as two Idols are in position of the guys in the minority. Does Jason play his Idol next week, can Scot convince him to hold on to it and then convince Jason and Gay Asian to form a Super Idol after one of them is voted out?
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: Oh man was that a cold ending. Sentencing someone to death, say it will be carried out shortly and just bang. Cold, man, even for the Evil Empire.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Since they were not going to kill her, maybe giving up Lizzie would have been the right play and just try to get her back later. But Red seems to protest too much for her mother being dead, it is almost as much as he tries to makes everyone think he is not her father.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes,


Saturday, April 02, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/2/16


Shameless: You had to know Frank paying for the wedding was too good to be true, something bad had to happen, it just had to. But murder for hire? Oh Frank. And it just has to happen at the wedding right? Should make for a memorable season finale next week.

The Walking Dead: After the crap they pulled with Glen, I juwst cannot believe they would kill Daryl like that. And not to get too Zeputer film, the blood does not even look like it came from Darul’s direction.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: Man, these guys are cold, and this is the very reason I could not make it in the financial game or politics. On one side you got Axe exploiting the health of an employing for financial gain while Chuck just goads Anthony Edwards into retirement, and then still sends the FBI after him… while singing He’s a Jolly Good Fellow at his retirement party. Double ouch. Still I am more fascinated by the silent war being waged by the wives than the manhood measuring contest of the men. It seems like Wendy figured out there was something else going on behind Donnie’s death while Lara seems to figured out that Wendy know knows Donnie was being used as a pawn. I am beginning to think one of these wives are going to bring down the other man’s husband, the big question is who.

Quantico: Well I was totally wrong about the terrorist attack being a sham. Oh well.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Nice crack at The CW but kind of a useless cameo by The Flash. Supposedly he beats a supervillain that can harness electricity but gets knocked out by one on this Earth. When Supergirl saved the helicopter, I actually thought they were going to go Spider-Man 2 with the crowd caring her. Oh well. All the racially diverse CW cast members can stay on their Earths now.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Lucifer: That was not Rebecca De Mornay as Chloe’s mother. I saw her name in the credits, but I just do not believe that was Risky Business / The Hand that Rocks the Cradle Rebecca De Mornay. Nope.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Holy Smash Williams sighting! (I am sure there is a Hulk joke in there somewhere.) That is two this month. And it came at the right time jut as Trya Collette got written off the how. Hey, maybe Smash can help out on that show.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Path: They danced around the word in the premiere but the non-members really liked using the “Cult” word in the second episode. Within seconds of meeting them, the hedge fund manager, the hot classmate (the only thing more persuasive than cults are hot chick; Lyla Garrity could certainly get me to do more than eat meat), and the law enforcement guys all used it. But the episode basically ended the same way as the first, Eddie has weird visions of the ill leader (which we do learn is real), and Cal showing his dark side after spending most of the episode being the cheery cult leader.
You can stream The Path on Hulu.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II: The merge is supposed to be the most important episode of the season, the point where two tribes come together and try to figure a way to get rid of the other side. But the thing is, you kind of know how the vote is going to go down about ninety percent of the time before the title sequence runs. This is one of the few times there has been actual intrigue going into the merge with the Brains on one side, the Brawn on the other, and the Beauty in the middle. Oh, and there were three Idols floating around, as well as the slim chance two would be combined to create a Super Idol. Then, what seemed to be right before Tribal, the two waffling Beauties decided to side with the Brawn to blindside a Brain, which made me think, oooo, if they are giving that away, something big is about to happen. And something big did, just not what I was hoping for. You never want to see someone pulled from the game, and certainly not before what looked to be an explosive Tribal Council. Since they told us, we can guess that Aubrey would get seven votes, Scot or Bounty Hunter gets four, so the big question, would have Neil played his Idol? Would he have guessed right? Had he and Scot gets the most votes that count, could he have been able to convince Gay Asian and Bounty Hunter to give up their Idols to save him? Le sigh. We will never know. And poor Aubrey, her clostest ally gets pulled and he does not even give her his Idol. But at least she is getting some antibiotics. If I am Scot, I am wondering why she gets some, but not me?
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty II on iTunes.

Vikings: Um, so was that Floki dreaming of having sex with Ragnor’s wife, and occasionally morphing into the mysterious dude who only hows up when Ragnor is gone, or was that Ragnor’s wife imagining having sex with two different dudes who is not her husband? It is kind of weird either way.
You can download Vikings on iTunes.


Saturday, March 26, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/26/16



Once Upon a Time: Wait, there are crossing guards in the Underworld. At least Mr. Gold pointed out the absurdity of that saying they are already dead. It is almost as silly as the Underworld turning out to be a pit stop to somewhere else, either up or down. How sad that Hades as been reduced to being the gatekeeper of Purgatory.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Lip, you were living the dream and now you are back at the Gallagher house, no sorority sisters and no track for a career. And the house is even more crowded with Fiona’s soon to be husband and a new baby. Oh well, at least the house should be safer now. Who would have thought back in season one that Ian would grow up to be an EMT while Carl would get into police work? But c’mon, a black cop harasses “Mitt Romney Jr.” and no one tells him White Lives Matter?

The Walking Dead: When the trip ended halfway through the episode, and the two storylines were about the doctor and mullet guy taking more personal responsibility, I thought, oh yeah, one of them or both is going to die soon. About a minute later doctor gets shot in the eye and mullet guy gets dragged out by the killer. Then the ending sees Carol leave the group again (okay, she was forced the first time). It has to be a safe bet she runs into Negan in the season finale.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: Ooo, wife fight, how did that not happen sooner? It seemed like everyone just accepted that the wife of the U.S. District Attorney’s wife just so happened to work at a place he is investigating. Sure those two are actually keeping thing professional, even though it hurts their marriage, but I am surprised everyone else around them trusts their spouse. But it may happen soon, Wendy caught Chuck talking about the case he said he recused himself from. I actually thought she went to Axe to tell him about Donnie. And speaking of Donnie, what was actually said in the dead room? Do we trust him when he give up the inside man that he said Axe told him or is he playing the government? I do trust Axe when he told Wags that he truly did not know where Donnie is but I do not trust when Donnie said.

Quantico: What a boring episode. Really the only thing worth talking about is the promo which made it look like terrorists attack Quantico. Let me go ahead and predict that it is just a test because it is always a test.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: I am spoiler adverse but for some reason I still will read casting news which sometimes are a bit spoilery. So I have known before she even showed up that Slobodan was Silver Banshee but it was still shocking that’s she was able to use her powers to keep her from hitting the concrete after falling over the edge of the building. I assumed we would get some sort of origin story as to how she got her powers.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: There are fewer more annoying things these days when television shows run over a minute or two. So I was watching Supergirl and then flipped over to Lucifer only to catch Jim heading off to prison. Great, thanks for the spoiler (later in the night going from Lucifer to Blindspot I saw someone get stolen but I guess that is less of a spoiler because every episode ends with a Steal since they introduced the twist). What makes this practice more annoying is it is not as if we are getting an extra minute of content, no we are getting an extra minute of commercials simply because Gotham gets more ad revenue than Lucifer. Hurumph. So I spent the whole episode knowing Gordon would be going to prison which just makes the episode less satisfying. But hey, at least Fox got a couple more pennies of revenue. Oh and we learned where Penguin got his affinity to tuxedoes.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Wait, Bobby and Hunter cannot go back to the agency that technically does not exist? And their fond farewell did not carry much weight knowing a spin-off is in development.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: Just another completely dysfunctional Tribal Council. It may be time to blame it on Scot. He has been to every Tribal Council but one, and two of them were historically dysfunctional. First was the first time someone got themselves voted out because of their answers at Tribal. And this week I think this may have been the first time ever someone actually changed their vote on the parchment. When the social media person pause before putting the name in the bin, I actually thought she was going to throw it into the jungle and write down a new name Instead it turned out she just x-ed out the name and wrote a new one. Next week is the merge which should be interesting, four brains, four beauties, three brawn, with each original tribe having their own Hidden Immunity Idol. Should be interesting how the voting blocs break down and if any Idol gets played. I wonder if anyone will hold on to their Idols too long hoping to get the Super Idol. Gay Asian definitely should have last week.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: To kill Pastor Tom or not to kill Pastor Tom. That is kind of a lose-lose situation. If you do not, he could turn you in, but if you do, Paige could get suspicious. And after Paige came clean she would definitely get suspicious if he dies now. Moving may actually be the best option. It would be funny if Pastor Tom if ended up getting hit by a bus on complete accident now.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/20/16



Once Upon a Time: Poor Abigail Hobbs, suffers so long on Hannibal only to get her throat slit by him and end up in the underworld. I figured she would end up being the love interest from the Hercules movie, but that movie was so unmemorable I barely even remember her. And since this half of the season is based on his movie, it is weird that it looks like Hercules only gets one episode. I guess being a demi-god means he could probably travel to the Underworld whenever he wants, so maybe he will be back to take on his uncle.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Lip, you just do not pour Jack Daniels down your throat, which was just the bane of my existence in college. I guess I am lucky to never walking up in a hospital and downing that. But maybe the dumber part of the episode was Fiona excepting a proposal by a guy using her current husband’s engagement ring. Shouldn’t it happening at your divorce proceeding be a huge red flag as to you not being marriage ready? And I cannot help but assume Frank is guying to go through that weed stash befor the commune makes enough to move to Hawaii, here is a guy who still has not learned to never, under any circumstance, get high off his own supply.

The Walking Dead: It took me a couple of minutes to recognize Alicia Witt. And it only took me a couple more minutes before realizing I do not want to see evil Alicia Witt. At least she died quickly, well after having her face eaten off. Ouch.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: At the beginning of the episode I thought, oh wow, having the janitor as a mole is kind of brilliant, he can go through trash, is usually alone after hours to do other snooping. That may actually be better than blackmailing the lesbian. Who would suspect the janitor? But I turns out the attorney’s mole is actually a double agent and Axe knows everything. Though how does this even end good for the mole / double agent? Does Axe have a retirement plan for him where he lives on the beach of a country without an extradition tready? There is the old saying that some people play checkers against people playing chess, Axe may be playing three dimensional chess while Rhoades is just playing regular chess.

Quantico: Stupid promo monkey, last week when they said someone was going to die this week, I figured there is no way they would kill of the person with a bomb strapped to their waist, but that is exactly who they killed (granted not with that bomb). Also my theory about death no meaning much on the show since the actors would still be in flashbacks became moot because that chick got sent packing in the flashbacks too.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Awe, red kryptonite, always good to spruce things up. I did like how they explained it as Maxwell Lord failing to recreate the regular kind. It also explains why Jimmy would not instantly know what was going on because Superman would have never been exposed before. Apparently Superman was too busy to stop his cousin from destroying her city so instead Martian Manhunter had to expose himself. Though that still does not explain why they did not have any green kryptonite to weaken her first so he did not have to out himself as an alien too, and in the process go, oh yeah, the guy whose body I took over is dead. Still I give it one episode before a threat so great pops up that they need to release him to help Supergirl in the fight.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: Holy Lori Petty sighting! And still sporting her Tank Girl haircut about a quarter of a century later. Interesting that the show has younger versions of all the Batman buddies and villains and yet we get what I assume is a older Harley Quinn surrogate. But of course since she is in the movies, we will likely never get an actual character named Harley Quinn on the show. That would have been a lot more interesting than the Silver St. Cloud we got instead.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Lucifer: Holy Herc back in a wheelchair sighting! A couple episodes back I suggested what this show needed was a serialized component, except I was hoping for something more supernatural, not a cop corruption case. And of course the separated husband shot the other cop, it is really the only possible suspect. Maybe this will end up having a supernatural component because Lucifer did save the guy. Does he know that he was shot by the husband and that is why he saved him? But if so, why not tell lady cop her husband is corrupt.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Oh wow, a Chrissy Seaver training montage, get that girl in the field. But I thought for sure the mole was going to end up being Sutter ex-girlfriend. Oh well.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Ooo, Talbert was the mole, not a good way to start off that relationship. But I missed part of the episode because my local ABC station broke into the show for John Kasich’s victory speech as if anyone who actually wanted to hear it was not all ready watching CNN or another 24-hour cable channel. So after a minute of him not actually saying anything (Apparently there was a protester yet the cameraman could not find him) I flipped over to The Voice until it went to a commercial. So I switch back to ABC and they were airing commercials already. So I flipped to CNN and Kasich was still talking. Seriously, if you are going to break into a show just show the whole speech at that point. So I missed about five minute of the show. I went to Hulu the next day but forgot ABC has a stupid eight day waiting period as if they do not want people to ever get caught up. I am certainly not watching it On Demand if I cannot skip to the part I missed, so hopefully nothing important happened during those five minutes.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, let me get this straight, CeCe is not Alison’s sister, but her cousin, that her parents adopted (and then ignored even existed) whose mother is Mrs. Dilarentas twin (and apparently has the same initials A.D.), is just as tech savy as her daughter, and is in cahoots with CeCe’s doctor who married Alison as part of some plan that involves an extremely lifelike Wilden mask. Alrighty. And of course Hanna’s plan to admit she was the killer turned out horribly.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: After Lizzie got the boot two weeks ago, I came to the realization that I do not particularly like anyone this season besides the hot chick alliance. And as if the show was trolling me (and every red-blooded American straight dude watching), when they split the tribes into two, the hot chick alliance somehow ended up on three different beaches. Making things worse, the third hot chick would replace the person who gets voted out waking it is both tribes best interest to get rid of a Beauty to make sure they do not become a majority on their tribe. What an amazing turnabout because had Caleb had not been pulled from the game, and assuming the tribe split when the same way with Caleb and Hot Chick #3 go to opposite tribes, the Beauty tribe goes from a majority in both tribes to being outnumbered or even in the tribes.

What is amazing is the actually had a way to make lemonade out of lemons because Gay Asian had an Idol, if he uses it correctly, can turn hiss tribe from a Brains dominated tribe into a Beauty controlled one. Except Gay Asian and Scot showed exactly why they did not start on the Brains tribe because they both made extremely dumb strategic moves. Instead of using the Idol, giving his tribe a Beauty majority, now Gay Asian is exactly where he was when the tribes swapped, one less Beauty than Brain with untrustable Scot in the middle. So he may very have to use that Idol next week except now when someone gets voted out, there is not another Beauty coming to help you out. I fully understand wanting to save an Idol for yourself, but the one time you do give an Idol to someone else is to get the numbers on your side. And what is even worse now for Gay Asian is that now not only does he not have the numbers, everyone knows he has an Idol which puts him in a horrible position in the game.

As for Scot, telling Gay Asian not to play the Idol was a bad strategic move too. So what if he now knows where two Idols are? Does he really think that if he is voted out, Gay Asian and Bounty Hunter are really going to come together like Voltron to save him? Do you know what is better than knowing where two Idols are? Having your own Idol. And if Gay Asian plays his Idol, there will be a new one in play the very next day that you can go out and find for yourself (and there is another reason Gay Asian should have played his, he already found one Idol, go and replace it after you play one like Kelley Wentworth last season). You can easily convince Bounty Hunter to enter a pact to save each other, than to get two people to give up their Idols for basically nothing.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

The Americans: It took the daughter three seasons to find out her parents were Russians, so I guess it should not be surprising nothing happens with that information except tell her minister who I guess is bound by some client confidentiality agreement or something. Kind of a run of the mill premiere as I guess these chemical weapons will be this season’s theme. How disappointing Stan did not break it while assaulting Philip.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: What a boring wedding. No deaths, no crashers. Just Avery annoyingly getting asked where Juliette was every two minutes. At least let Layla go HAM after learning Jeff did not kill himself and Juliette was just covering it up so she did not look bad. Meh.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/13/16




Once Upon a Time: I kind of half joked when Emma said they were going to the Underworld that Hades from Hercules better show up. Then at the end of the episode the king of the Underworld’s hair turned flame blue and it turned out I was right. Man, they are really scrapping the bottom of the Disney barrel on this one. Are they going to Notre Dame next?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh Frank, everyone knows the number one rule of drug trafficking is never get high off your own supply. Of course that was going to end badly. Just like Debbie and her pregnant fetish guy. I saw that coming as soon as he asked for her help. Yet that was not even the most shameless moment of the episode. When Lip was confronted by Queenie, I thought, oh no, Lip is going to have sex with his… um; father’s baby momma I guess is what you would call it. And they actually kind of did it depending, not to get all Bill Clinton, on how you describe sex. Physically helping someone to, um, finish the job, kind of constitutes sex. But going by the Bill Clinton definition it was not.

The Walking Dead: So everyone is hooking up now, which means there is going to be a lot of deaths coming up soon. Since she is captured, could Carol be next? I am hard pressed to think they would kill off a pregnant lady, but it seemed apropos that whoever has the two got introduced pretty much the same way Glen was introduced on the show. I thought Abraham was getting the he is about to die edit last week but this week he just dumped Rosita presumably so he can shack up with Sasha instead. Sure I would not kick Sasha out of bed, but Rosita has to be the most attractive chick you are going to find during a zombie apocalypse. But I guess mullet guy has a chance now.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Billions: You know someone is really mad when they get out of a pool and go straight to their car, no shirt, no shoes, not even toweling off, to go punch someone. But c’mon Axe, you have to at least make the kids spend the night at camp before letting them give up. It may be interesting to watch those brats suffer if everything is taken away when Axe goes to prison. Actually let’s not take the Brody mistake of keeping the family on the show too long for this show too.

Quantico: So someone is going to die next week. Except the gay dude died in the Winter finale and him being around in the flashbacks kind of lessens the impact of the death. Since she has a bomb strapped to her, she would be the obvious choice, which means she is not dying or that would be the worst promo monkey job of all time. Instead I think it is going to be one of the twins which would have even less of an impact because not only would they still be in flashbacks but there would still be one twin still alive.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: We have known Hugo Strange has been collecting “dead” people since the Winter finale when we saw Galivan being wheeled and we got to see him in some sort of tank this week. Behind him was three more tanks, the next two with their backs t us and the next facing towards us. I did not recognize that last guy and it is hard to identify someone by the back of their head but that second guy did have red hair so Jerome instantly came to mind. There was a very Fish Mooney looking figure during the Winter finale. So the question is when do these zombies get reanimated? Was the Mr. Freeze serum the final ingredient Hugo needs?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The sad sack stories have been the worst part of the show (well the proliferation of boring white dudes over the past four seasons may actually be worse) but my goodness, do we really need to sit through a dude talking about he kept on hitting decline on his phone right before his dad killed himself? That was just really too rough. And of course it gets worse because no one bothered to turn their chair which seems to happen to some of the people with the saddest stories as if the producers bring them on only for their story knowing they probably will not turn a chair.

Every season I do a bi where I mention all the artists I am surprised anyone covered on the show because the Blind Auditions is where the people are most adventurous and I was surprised that dude sang an Incubus song. And now that I think about, maybe half of those people end up not getting a chair turned. Look at the guy who closed out the week, he auditions last season with a great Cameo song, does not get a chair to turn. Does an overdone song this time and is on a team.

Oh, and holy Ellie Lawrence sighting! Talk about letting people come back, I know they do not let people who get a chair to turn to try out again but really anyone screwed royalty deserves to come back and be on a team with a real coach. Although if they brought Ellie back, they would also have to change the rules to ban anyone who voted for Braiden Sunshine from ever voting again, which they should do anyway. And like the first week, I was pretty meh on the talent this season. Pharrell picked up another indie chick to add to the three he pick up last week, but Christina actually nabbed the best indie chick of the season (so far) with Kristen Marie.


Apparently The Voice is doing that stupid scheduling where Monday’s show will half Blind Auditions, half Battle Round, so I will release my Blind Audition Power Ranking Tuesday evening even though two people will probably already had been sent home (with the third loser being stolen). During the Best of the Blind Auditions special (so none of the five singers yet to be put on a team qualify as Best; though three of the five the only other time they had this format went on to the Live Playoffs so do not completely write them off; sure none of those three got saved by the public vote in the Live Playoffs, but anyway) they did give away a couple of the Battle pairing, I am going to make my predictions now (the person I think is going to win is listed first):

Team Blake
Mary Sarah vs. Justin Whisnant
Paxton Ingrim vs. Brittany Lawrence
Brittany Kennell vs. Trey O’Dell

Team Pharrell
Brian Nhira vs. Abby Celso
Nick Hagelin vs. Jessica Crosbie
Emily Keener vs. Johnathan Bach
Hannah Huston vs. Maya Smith

Team Adam
Natalie Yacovazzi vs. Nate Butler
Laith Al-Saadi vs Matt Tedder

Team Christina

Alison Porter vs. Lacey Mandingo
Tamar Davis vs. Shalyah Fearing
Malik Heard vs. Bryan Bautista

My first takeaway from the pairing is that Pharrell had four previews (and he is the only one who still has two spots left on his team compared to one for everyone else) while Adam only two previews, one of which was between two guy I kind of thought may have been fodder (even though I do like Laith). Actually the other pairing is between two people I would be a bit surprised if either made the Live Shows too. Last spring Pharrell had five of his six Battles result in a Steal and I wonder if that is going to happen again. If my predictions are right I could see someone stealing Abby and Maya who got good edits so far. And predicting Steals do seem to be completely random, but Pharrell Stealing Shalyah. Has he ever not Stolen a young soul singer? There also seems to be more co-ed battles than usual. I wonder if this is a way to consciously limit the number of boring whit dudes make the Live Shows this year after six of the eight singers America saved in the Playoffs last season were boring white dudes (out of a possible seven). My other takeaway from the previews was how much time they spent on only one of the Battle pairing which made some of these predictions really easy (sorry Maya and Lacy). We get it producers you really, really want Alison to win so a female singer and coach will win this season. Except the more you push, the more the bored housewives are going to rebel and have yet another boring white dude win for the fifth straight season.

Lucifer: Two take always from this episode; Lucifer’s brother calls him Lucy. And if the brother is now the gatekeeper to Hades, just how many people are escaping during his many trips to Erth to try to convince his brother to come back home? And when does Lucifer start hunting down those souls because that show would be much more interesting than this one.
You can download Lucifer on iTunes.

Blindspot: Holy Smash Williams sighting! But the bigger shock was Kurt’s sister and Edgar… who knew? Not that they were hooking up but that character’s name was Edgar, I had to look it up and had no clue what his name was. Oh yeah, then there was Jane Doe learning she died.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So what was with the three months from now opener? Civil War does come out in May and the last Captain America movie is really the only time something in the movie actually had much of an effect on the show. But it is probably just a teaser for the season finale. But then again, three months is June and early May is when shows tend to wrap up for the year.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Liars have had some epically dumb ideas over the years, but Hannah admitting she killed CeCe. So what happens when A gets revenge or possibly calls the police?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty: So we had our first medical leave of the season (second because apparently Lizzie had to be flown back to America right after being voted out to deal with some staph infections). Just last week I mentioned how even when the person who is getting voted out they always plant a seed for someone else, this is the first time I remember them not even put up a red herring, and went straight to Tribal Council and did not even show Blondie scrambling. Shame the merge came a week too late for her because she could have teamed up with the hot chick alliance. Same for Lizzie. Should be interesting to she how it plays out, if anyone find the Brains Hidden Immunity Idol, or if they are going to put more Idols into play in hopes that a Super Idol gets played.
You can download Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty on iTunes.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 12/13/15



Once Upon a Time: Oh my goodness, they actually killed Hook! His puppy dog love affair with Emma may be at the top of the list of why this show has sucked for a couple seasons now. They even killed Neil, a much more interesting character, just to make it easier for Hook and Swan to get together. Oh wait after the commercial break Emma made her plan known of going to the Underworld to bring him back by giving him half her heart. What!?! This show is so stupid, just cancel it now and replace it with Galavant full time. And the promo make it look like the Underworld is not the one from Hercules but just Storybrooke with a filter on the camera. Ugg.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: I found Allison's excuse last week a little flimsy, but saying she ran it past the dearly departed David Estes makes it a little more plausible. But still, Estes not even telling his supervisor at the time is a little thin. But this week's hunt for Quinn was not excited as last week's episode because it seemed pretty obvious that Carrie would end up finding him. And it was pretty convenient that she found the terrorist nest after everyone left.

The Affair: We have not seen too many overlapping scenes this season but it was kind of odd how different this one was this week where both Allison and Noah thought they had made dinner the other missed. Also an interesting choice to basically have the first act be a bottle episode with Noah in the therapist office. Granted the part I spent the most time focusing on was Noah talking about seeing Captain America. I have spent most of this season when the future segments happened but now I am beginning to wonder when the main timeline is happening. Is the main timeline happening in the past? If so was Noah talking about the first one, which was released in 2011, the sequel, which came out last year? Would this mean the future on the show is present day? Or maybe the current timeline is in the future, they jumped about a year this episode, and he is talking about next year's Captain America movie. Now I am going to start obsessing about every little thing trying to figure out when the show is taking place.

Quantico: So Asher came up with the plan to plant the bomb at Grand Central Station but never intended to implement it and someone else found that plan and used it. Alrighty. Well if the promo monkeys are to be believed we will learn who actually did it during the winter finale (ugg). I predicted Shelby did it back when the show premiered but now I am leaning toward Jacob from Lost. Which would be a cop out because they billed the show as Alex got sold out by some in her class.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Oh you sneaky writers. With a character named Hank Henshaw you had to think he was going to be Cyborg Superman behind those red eye. But it turns out the real Hank is dead and Martian Manhunter took over his identity (on a side note, I would be a little worried if I were that actor learning my character died prior to the show and the guy I am playing is a shape shifter who presumably take another form next season; but then again, the real Hank is probably off turning himself into a Cyborg and may play two characters next season). Of course his over the top anti-alien rhetoric was a bit much in the premiere make a little less sense now. And though we the viewers know Martian Manhunter is a good guy, Kara's sister should probably be very skeptical of him, maybe more so now. And is it safe to assume the one other person who knows his true identity is Superman? And does that mean we are going to get a version of the Justice League at some point. Granted if there is a team up there probably will not be anyone of the charter members because DC will want to keep them off the small screen. The show really could not do a variant of Teen Titans because TNT is developing that property. So with the properties the show will have available to them, the Justice League may just be Supergirl, Martian Manhunter, a reprogrammed Red Tornado, The Wonder Twins, Plastic Man, and Apache Chief.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

The Voice: All I wanted was either Amy Vachal or Madi Davis in the finals. I am not greedy, just one of them, I did not need both in. But do you know who is greedy, bored housewives and country fans who had to fill the finale with boring white dude balladeers and country singer, and of course one country singing boring white dude. A lot of people complained about the massive cut from nine to three with one Twitter Save, but it did work. I watched the semi-finals for the first time since season three because Amy and Madi made it that far. Had they done the double elimination like previous season, they may have both been gone before we lost one country singer.

But the producers should know there is a better way to keep viewers from bailing than string fans around fora month only to break everyone heart who is not a country fan or bored housewife in one fell swoop and they can do it in one of two ways. The first is something I doubt they would ever do because they clearly give these coaches complete free will no matter how dumb their decisions are, but they should sit down the coaches and tell them they are setting a hard quota to make sure the top 12 is a diverse group of different musical styles and for goodness sake Blake, no more all country teams again.

But since they will never tell the coaches what to do despite the coaches having multi-millions of reasons to do what they are told to do, the other fix is really easy. Change how we can vote. Right now you can vote for as many people as you want ten time, so if out are a country fan, you are probably just going to vote for all four country singers. And then you have cases like Braiden Sunshine who is no one's favorite but is enough people's fourth or fifth favorite to make it to the semi-finals. That has to stop, they need to change the rule so each round you have ten votes total. Put all ten on your favorites or divide them among your two to five favorites. Of course instead of doing this, the show will probably just switch the schedule next season to just eliminate one per week again but will end with an eight person finale.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Oh my goodness, they actually killed Ward! It came a season too late but they finally did it. Oh wait after the commercial break zombie Ward is standing in the street. What the frack!?! That is trice this week ABC killed someone just to be surprise, the character is sticking around! I guess we are to assume that is the Inhuman god thing that shape shifted into Ward. Pretty convenient to make it into a shape shifter all of the sudden. Why he was hanging out in the astronaut's bomb shelter was a little silly.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: Mostly a filler episode like these late season episodes tend to be until a really bad ending when Tasha co-opted Joe's let's vote out the person everyone want to sit next at the end pitch and somehow was able to get Jeremy, Kimmi and even Spencer on board. Well at least Abi Maria made the jury. But the most interesting part came in the credit when Probst saying something that has never happened in thirty-one season is going down in the season finale. Are we going to have our very first tie at Final Tribal? What exactly is the tie breaker for that? Building fire would be a silly way to determine who gets one million dollars.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Sunday, December 06, 2015

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 12/6/15


Once Upon a Time: So Emma stole everyone's memory because she stole Captain Hook's memory and wanted everyone to forget she turned him into a Dark One and stole his because his big master-plan was to resurrect all the Dark Ones. I hate this show. When Captain Hook was going to open the gates to the Underworld I actually was kind of hoping the show was going to exploited Hercules next and go hang out with Hades.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: What a great episode. The whole trying to entrap Allison was just gripping. First time fails as she just has sex with a dude instead of panicking. And then there is a great spy vs. spy stuff when she actually does run. But I was a bit disappointed in the ending when Allison whispers in the Russian's ear and I am thinking it is some great plan only for her to say he was her asset this whole time which I really do not think anyone should buy. She has a high ranking Russian mole that she has never told anyone about before? I really hope that Dar (or the writers think Dar) is that stupid. She is going to need more than that to get out of this.As for the other half of the episode, I am beginning to tire of the Quinn story line.

The Walking Dead: Oh Carl, kill that kid... and his brother. Then I do not sure who is more stupid fighting to the death over the captured Wolf: Carol or Morgan. Know you both are knocked out and he is set free. The show usually does premieres and finales the best but this may have been the worst of any of them since the farm season. Hopefully Negan is as great as message board commentator say. The Governor certainly was not.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: This is the third time this season I spent the episode we would get to spend an entire act with the daughter. The first time was when she showed up drunk to the guest house, then when she showed up drunk to the Lockhart's Thanksgiving, and now with she drunkenly making out with another chick in a hot tub while her naked father watched inches away. Since the switched up the format this week, can we please get an episode dedicated to what she has been up to this season? Oooh, maybe that is the season finale: we follow drunk daughter through this season and ends with her drunk driving into Scotty.

Into the Badlands: The plot is still thin and silly but, hey, it is still visually cool. And that has to be the first wheelchair fight ever on television. Well, unless you count the cripple fight on South Park.
You can download Into the Badlands on iTunes.

Gotham: What a bizarrely awesome assortment of people going after Galavan. Thankfully Lucius finally was able to fix the computer two months later to join them to point out how silly it all was. Seriously, a fifteen year old girl took out an armed guard with a kick. Then Tigress's great escape was great, pushing her niece out the window only to just out later only to reveal they both had parachute gliders. But I did call Silver would be the one who saved Bruce (somewhat, she basically just stalled long enough for the ragtag gang to show up). I was a bit surprised that Jim was the one who killed Galavan, I thought he would just walk away and let Penguin do what he wanted. And how did the body end up in the morgue? How about dropping the body in the river to get rid of the evidence. Now Dr. Strange has control of the body for whatever reason along with a not so subtle glimpse at Fish Mooney in one of the tanks. I did not recognize anyone else in the tanks that could hint at who is next, I will have to check the internet nerd who are smarter than me to see if I missed something. Though I definitely recognized Mr. Freeze at the end.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Supergirl: Yeah, Maxwell Lord is definitely going to hook up with Kara's sister. Kind of a meh episode aside from the Landry Clarke's father sighting. I wonder now that he is free from his creator if Red Tornado will gain free will and start fighting for good or if this was a one off episode for him.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I was shocked when the episode started with Coulson having a dinner date with Roz after learning last week she was working with Hydra, even if that was inadvertently. But being a show with Joss Whedon on it, having a happy couple means one of them had to die. And of course this drives Coulaon to skydive into a portal to another world. Aside from the shocking death, mostly a filler episode setting up what looks like a big Winter Final (ugg) with a battle on the Inhuman planet. The big question is if they are able to bring back Simmons' astronaut buddy and will the big bad Inhuman comes back too. My prediction: they are the same person!!!!
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: I know you have to say anything to make it three more days when you think you are on the bottom, but Joe's "We should vote out the person everyone wants to sit next to at Final Tribal" has to be the worst pitch in Survivor history. How about pointing out how the person who dominates the Immunity Challenges never win the game?
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: The daughters are really starting to get annoying. I know teenagers are annoying and moody in real life but do television writers realize how painful it is to watch them on television? Teenagers on television have not always been this annoying. I blame the annoying people who are constantly harping on things not being realistic, which I think started when people started pointing out Jack Bower never went to the bathroom once over the course of twenty-four hours or ever got stuck in Los Angeles traffic. These this did not happen because it made for bad television.And as realistic as annoying teenagers are, it is time to ban them from television.

The Wiz Live!: Well that was significantly better than the previous two musicals even if there was a visible camera in the first scene. Which I guess was not too hard because Carrie Underwood cannot act, Allison Williams was horribly miscast and Christopher Walken may have been asleep the whole time. Mary J. Blige pretty much stole the show with maybe the most over the top acting ever put to film. Maybe NBC should do Wicked next and let Mary reprise her role. Granted, if I were the guy in charge, I would still throw all the money I could at Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling for a live production of Guys and Dolls, with Kristen Bell and Jason Street in the supporting roles. Of course now we do not have to wait another year for the next musical because next month Fox is putting on Grease Live. Cannot wait. We are truly living the the greatest era for cheesy entertainment since the eighties.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/22/15



Once Upon a Time: Well that was weird, I know that it was not designed to be a two parter but still weird of all the episodes to pair up, why these two? Why not a two part winter finale instead? The first hour was heavy into the big mystery of the season where we finally learn Emma's plan (she saved Captain Hook by turning him into another Dark One, huh, and want to put the darkness into the Wicked Witch and kill her eliminating the darkness once and for all, alrighty) but then they follow it up with two characters we have not seen for a couple seasons. Both explanations of where Mulan and Red Riding Hood were a little silly. Really all it made me do was wonder what ever happened to Cinderella and Hurley the Ogre.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: When Saul was riding down the elevator, I was thinking to myself, if this were any other spy show, he would just ninja chop everyone and the door would open with everyone else conscienceless on the floor. What actually happened was almost as absurd as a bunch of ninjas abducted him instead. So now Saul has defected to Israel. Alrighty. If the CIA really wanted him, doesn't Israel give him back? Though I am sure the season will be resolved and Saul will be vindicated before that happens. Them the episode ends with Carrie calling Allison for help. So Carrie did not recognize Allison's voice when she called Quinn's attempted assassin's phone number?

The Walking Dead: So who said "Help" at the end of the episode? It did not cross my mind that it was a not so dead Glenn until the internet reminded me he was out there. Did he even had a walkie? At any rate I still do not think it was him but an yet to be seen newbie who hijacked the frequency.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: During the early episodes I thought that the differences in the stories were just how Noah and Allison were spinning their stories to the police, but after that blow up at Thanksgiving where Allison called out Noah for distorting her versions of what happened, I am beginning to think that Noah's version his his book and Allison's version is a tell all story she will write in the future. Of course then that would mean Cole and Helen are also going to write their own tell all book... and possibly in future seasons, Whitney, the red head dude that is always lurking around, and probably even a posthumous book by Scotty. Actually the red head and drunk daughter end up getting their own segments in the future because they are becoming my favorite parts of the show because the four main characters are becoming increasingly dreadful.

Supergirl: Have we always known Dean Cain was dead? I kept wondering why he was not at Thanksgiving and then I finally learn at the end he was killed in a plane accident, possibly at the hands of Supergirl's other boss. And looking at Ally McBeal's new face may be rough but she definitely gets all the best lines: "You have the wit of a YouTube comment."
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Blindspot: I am wrong for actually kind of like Rich Dot Com? But anyway. I (apparently) was half right on Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend. So he has not turned out to be not be a bad guy but it looks like he will turn out to be the not so socking death last week promised (though it is kind of unclear if he is actually dead, the boss gave a head shack but was it a "it does not look good shake" or a "he is not going to make it" shake? Since the next promo did not promise a death I am guessing that was it.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: For me this season has been all about Simmons other planet and we finally got big reveal after big reveal about the place. So back in the earliest days of Hydra, which apparently pre-dates Red Skull by centuries, if not millenniums, there was the first Inhuman and they (for reason I did not quite understand) shipped it off to this other planet and would occasionally send sacrifices to the planet until they could build an Inhuman army for it to command. Okay, that is kind of awesome. Now evil Hydra guy want to bring the first Inhuman back and has to figure out how SHIELD was able to get Simmons back. This should be interesting to see if the evil Hydra guy is able to succeed in this plan or not or will SHIELD be able to stop them. Or maybe SHIELD will unwillingly bring that Inhuman back when they rescue Simmons astronaut friend.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chance: In a season of so many twists I have lost count we got two more this week. First off the lame one, again the show hid a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol instead of the actual Idol. But instead of hiding it at the Immunity Challenge, which was a cool chance, it was just some silly rules based scavenger hunt where Jeremy could only retrieve it at night when everyone was asleep. But the other twist was much more interesting, if you quit the Immunity Challenge you could receive an advantage in the game. I am actually surprised only two people jumped down, in the torrential downpour, I think I would take my chance with reaching the buoy first unless I was part of the Witches Coven who were on the chopping block. The advantage is a twist on last season's extra vote twist but instead of getting an extra parchment to write down another name, you get to steal someone else's vote. That is evil, I love it.

Then finally someone broke from the massive nine person alliance, I never understood why no one seemed to want to work with Abi Maria, Ciera, or Kass because those seem like lay-ups in the finals. Of course the vote came down to Kelley W. and Kelly W. (which was what Spencer actually wrote on his parchment). It looks like there may be another twist next week as the promo shows everyone drawing rocks. It is during the day so it is probably is not a tied Tribal Council (plus if you are Stephan, you make sure you break a tie with your advantage). Last season everyone who tried to bid their entire wad on an advantage at the food auction drew rocks. Could it be for the first time every everyone is smart enough to not buy food at the auction? Still I think if it came down to it I bet Abi Maria and Keith at least would still be stupid enough to buy food instead of waiting for the advantage.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: More hair drama! Though to be honest I would not have even notice if Maddie died her hair had someone not mentioned it. So it is, what, a shade or two lighter? Does not seem like much of a deal for a sixteen year old.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: For a "Fall Finale" that was a pretty week Blacklister of the week crew. They may have been the lamest Blacklisters in the history of the show (which is probably why they were not originally on the list). And Ressler's Boy Scout routine was a little much considering he was the one who let Lizzy escapee in the first place. But we got the reveal that the Senator is part of the Cabal though I am not sure how we got there, what was with the thing in Africa, I missed the significance there. Oh well. It looks like the midseason premiere has Lizzy stuck in Reddington's cage where I guess we will have a repeat of the episode where Red got stuck in the box with a shot Ressler this time with Lizzie in the box and the Cabal trying to get in.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/15/15



Once Upon a Time: If I am not mistaken, this is the first time they ever brought religion into the show. Though I think that maybe the Holy Grail on the show may not be the one Jesus reportedly drank from during The Last Supper. Of course the biggest giveaway was that this Holy Grail is too fancy, as Indiana Jones knows, Jesus would have drank from a more simplistic cup.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Librarians: I wonder if the elder Stone realized when he called his son a "song of a (expletive deleted) he was actually defaming his wife.
You can download The Librarians on iTunes.

Homeland: So the guardian Angel that saved Quinn just so happens to be buddies with a jihadist that was released from prison because of the leaked documents. Alrighty. And since Quinn killed him, is he now a leader of the jihadists? But my favorite part of the episode was Dar and Saul going at each other. I love it when people on this show call each other out for doing a horrible job because most of them are. And now that Saul is on to the Russians, how long until he learns his bed buddy is also in beds with them? Hopefully sooner than later.

The Walking Dead: After all the speculation on the fate of Glen (I fell in the the guts the zombies were eating were that of the other guy and he slid under the trash bin and waited the zombies out) the actor's name out of the credits. So either he really is dead or this is the biggest bit of trolling from a television show since Joss Wheadon wanted to put someone he killed of in the Pilot in the credits. I guess I am going to move Gen from the probably alive column to he is Schrodinger's Cat.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: As they flashed the "Part 2" on screen I actually groaned thinking I had no desire to see some kid agonize in pain for another segment, but thankfully they flashed ahead a week. I believe this is the first time the second part actually happened after the first part and not at least partially concurrently. And I am horrible with names, but is the guy who is willing to sell the lawyer information about Scotty, is that the same guy who was working at the Lockheart Diner last week and worked as a mechanic back in season one?

Supergirl: I get Kara's explanation on why she does not to ever ask her cousin for help, but when she still ends up being saved by a blurry Superman, who of course makes it back to Metropolis before the show gets back from commercial, that really makes her look bad. But what actually should she expect, Jimmy Olsen's smart watch aside, does she not think he would see the news of one of his rouges kidnapping a business mogul in another ton? He does work at a newspaper.
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: Oh thank goodness, I thought we were going to have a Beth Greene situation on The Walking Dead where they kill off a formally useless character right after they actually made her interesting. I spend most of that last commercial break thinking, that was a very big fall... but... there was a tree there that could break her fall. Of course now she is back in jail. And so is Galavan. So what exactly is his master plan. He said that it was too soon to kill Jim Gordon so he knew Barbara would not be able to kill him and I am guessing he intentionally had her tell Jim about the former mayor's whereabouts. So why exactly incriminate yourself? Still his sister will probably be breaking everyone out again sooner than later.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: What the frack America? I was resigned since the Battle Round that Braiden would be this season's Ryan Sill, but I just assumed that it would be Gwen who would have to Save him, not America. Who are these morons who actually thought Braiden was better than Ellie Lawrence? Did someone resurrect Vote for the Worst and not tell me? And yeah, that Coach's Comeback was a massive fail. Of course Adam did not bring back Andi & Alex instead saved some foddery dude no one asked for and then had him sing a song perfect for duos. Adam is such a troll. Blake brought someone just to give them an embarrassing song. Since his team was weak, I though Pharrell had the best chance of one of these contestants advance but he ended up bring back someone who has not performed in a month.

The show quietly got rid of phone voting this season, I wrote it off as Sprint did not want to front the phone bill and the producers were to cheap to pay it themselves. I did not think it would have much effect on the outcome. Yet somehow even more white dudes advanced than usual. Seriously seventy-percent of the people America saved were Caucasian men. How do you end up with a cast less diverse than a Republican debate? Maybe almost as shocking as Braiden getting voted in over Ellie was Emily Ann getting the top ten iTunes bonus and yet was leaped over by not one but two white dudes for the Public Save. Really not a good week for iTunes predictions, Ellie had a twenty spot advantage, Shelby over took Amy's thirty-seven spot lead, and to a lesser extent, there was Celeste Bennon just five spots above Evan.

C'mon America, enough with the boring white dudes. The show does not need two country dudes (not to mention a third country singer voted through, oh no, we might have a season four repeat with four country singers in the top six), two blue eyed soul singers, and two wanna be alt-rockers who are too boring to be alternative to anything. I guess Madi should be thankful that there was only one white dude on her team. If it does not turn into season four, it will likely turn into season seven where the five girls in the Top 12 were the first five out with no females in the top five.

The Voice should be concerned with this because the long string of white guys with guitars phenomenon was one of American Idol's downfall. The Voice is currently on three straight white dudes and with only two females getting through by America's Vote a fourth is pretty much a lock. The fix is pretty easy, right now you can vote ten times for as many artists as you like. The Voice needs to change that to you get ten votes total per method spread out how every you like. So country fans for example cannot just vote for the four country singers ten times each anymore, instead they would have to decide, do I want to give all ten votes to Barrett or do I want to spread two or three votes among all four of the country singers. Here is my very spiteful Top 12 Power Ranking:

1. Madi Davis
2. Amy Vachal
3. Emily Ann Roberts
4. Korin Bukowski
5. Shelby Brown
6. Mark Hood
7. Jeffery Austin
8. Zach Seabaugh
9. Jordan Smith
10. Barrett Baber
11. Evan McKeel

48. Braiden Sunshine

Blindspot: So Chrissy Seaver's ex-boyfriends is still texting, so maybe is on the take from the CIA guy. But the big news from the episode was we are one episode until the mid-season final!!!!!!!! (I am really getting annoyed by all the midseason finale promos.) And someone will not survive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So we saw Chrissy Seaver, Jane's childhood friend, and the Latina (I should really try and learn their names soon especially since it has already been renewed for a second season) walk into what looked like a hospital room. Obviously you can cross Lady Siff off the list, there is no show without her. So to quote another NBC star, always bet on black. So is it the head lady chick or the other black dude who has been fairly useless so far. So the latter seems to be the front runner. That is unless the cop out and kill one of the secondary character. Granted there are not many of those, there is the CIA guy (probably not because he is the big bad, it would be silly to get rid of the antagonist already), FBI dude's father or sister (we still do not know much of them, but I am officially guessing option four, Chrissy Seaver's boyfriend. Chrissy learns he is evil and in a bit of conscious, he sacrifices his life to save Chrissy or Lady Siff.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I am officially tired of the Lash storyline, hopefully it is now on ice since he is too. The ACU is reaching that point too, but at least we got a twist this week and we learned the head is working with a head of Hydra.
The question is does she know or does she think she is actually working for the government. But what I am still most interested this season is Simmons alien planet. And is there a more Millennials thing to do than to take selfies while stranded along on an alien planet?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: It seems like a couple times every season I complain of alliances splitting votes for no reason. Usually one their members has the Idol, which they do not want to tell anyone, but splitting votes can easily lead to someone voting for the wrong person, be it intentional or on accident, and someone in your alliance. With that said, how do you have a nine to three numbers advantage and not split the votes. Someone could mess up and you would have still had the votes to get out either Kelley or Ciera. You could have been so paranoid for them to pull a Parvati and break out two Immunity Idols and still had enough to put three votes on Kelley, Ciera, and Abi Maria and get one of them out. Thankfully that did not happen because we would have been deprives of one of the greatest kiss offs in the history of the show when Abi Maria told the departing Savage, "At least you made the jury."
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: So Scarlett cut her hair. I cannot remember anything else that happened this episode. Jeff died right? But seriously, that hair...
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: As soon as Red realized the shaving dude was not the bad guy of the week I knew it was Samar's not so dead brother. And what does Samar do when she realizes her brother is alive? Makes out with a dude. And when she learns her brother is a terrorist? Makes out with another dude. I wished all hot chick dealt with drama in that way.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/31/15



Homeland: During the excitement of the return of Crazy Carrie last week I missed that Quinn was sent there to kill Carrie. Of course he did not. Thankfully we learned by the end of the episode who it was because really, there were only two plausible people in my mind, Dar and the German Bureau chief. Now the question was she also involved in the plane explosion too.

The Walking Dead: So Glen died. Or did he? I have a long standing belief to never believe someone is dead until we see a body. Well we definitely see zombies tear at Glen's flesh. But then there is the addendum to that belief that even if you see the body, I am still skeptical. The skeptical part of me noticed that the dude who killed himself was falling on top of Glen so it is very plausible that the entrails being pulled out were that of the other guy so I would not be that shocked if Glen shows up later in the season saying he slid under the trash bin while the zombies ate the other dude and just waited there to leave. Then I switched over from Quantico during the commercial to Talking Dead, which lack the obligatory actor shows up after he dies which is always kind of painful, as the producers saying in the most vague way possible that we will see Glen again in some capacity and the character was not included in the In Memorium package either. But the bigger question is why was Glen even in that position? How did Morgan make it back to Alexandria but Glen's group could not? And in the alley way, why did they not climb over the fence bordering the woods? But the second rule of this show is if the characters did the smart thing every time, there would be no show.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

The Affair: It seemed like an open and shut case Helen would get full custody of the kids, hey, they were not even around in the future act of the season finale last year with Noah and Allison in their swanky high rise. But how does Helen possibly get any visitation right, let along full custody, after a DUI with the kids in the car and weed in her purse? Grandma may be getting the kids because neither parent seems fit. Or maybe they will get shipped off to their aunt's place. Maybe there is a reason we have yet seen one of the Solloway children in the future yet.

Quantico: This week's Power Ranking of Most Absurd Moments of the Week: 1) The front page picture of Alex which looked like it was taken from a Maxim photo shoot, 2) The live stream instant;u getting twelve million viewers, 3) Taylor Swift (did they already run of hot blondes to call her already or did I just miss it this week) abandoning her mission to have sex with her antagonist.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Supergirl: Oh my, is it too soon to call this the guiltiest guilty pleasure in the history of television?
You can download Supergirl on iTunes.

Gotham: It was an obvious joke, but I am still glad Barbra suggested Butch put a chainsaw on his stump of a hand (and the same week Ash vs. the Evil Dead premieres to boot). Just as obvious was Kristen Kingle would die which would push Ed closer to being The Riddler, the only question was when and by who's hand. We finally got our answer this week as Ed stupidly admitted to killing her last boyfriend and then suffocated while promising to never hurt her again. Not how long until his wardrobe turns green?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: So if Emmett was home for the summer and the final scene takes place ten months later, that makes it March / April right? So why are Daphne and Bay are still in China? Are they staying there because I am guessing Bay does not obtain gainful employment for a vacation. And what was the phone call? Ug, I hate cliffhangers like this.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The Voice: What the frack?!? This show is just trolling me at this point. Andi & Alex were number one on my Battle Ranking Power Rankings, go first and get booted by Adam in favor of some mediocre rocker who has little chance of making it to the top twelve (unless Adam is stupid enough to save him so it is not entirely out of the question). Next up is Ellie Lawrence, who topped my Blind Audition Power Ranking, who goes out to Braiden Sunshine, who has sat in the bottom both times. Making things worse I joked in that post that Braiden would end up being this season's Ryan Sill (never forget), beating Gwen's lone four chair singer in the Battle Round, then probably beat Ellie in the Knockout Round, before Gwen inexplicably saved him in the Playoffs. That was a joke Gwen, you were not supposed to actually do this. Sure picking Demi Lovato was kind of disaster (has anyone ever advanced on this show singing one of her songs) but still I would take Ellie at her worst than Braiden at his worst. I really hate this show. Is it really hard to get the twenty best singers to the Live Show? It seem like five of the twelve that advanced this week just scream fodder and whose only chance to advance is if their coaches save them. I would have said six but sadly Viktor will probably advance by the public because the bored housewife voting block will be voting for his face over his voice.

Blindspot: I would say it is kind of random to have the other chick from Young and Hungry show up on your serious drama but I guess the first time I noticed her was when she was recurring during the first season of The Americans. Since she has that other gig, it is a shame she cannot stick around because it got really sad watching Jane try to connect with anyone and getting shut down every time. Plus that nerd fight scene with the tech person on the team was fun too. Oh well.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Marvel's Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D.: We finally get the what happened to Simmons episode and sadly no talking ducks were involved. I actually enjoyed the first segment but as soon as the astronaut showed up I got less and less involved. Then the ending was just silly, seriously, hold each other's hands so you do not get separated. And though we know know what went on, we are left with more questions, like what is "death." Then you have the promo saying May's husband died last week. Alrighty, there goes my theory that he survived.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Wicked City: I do not really need another serial killer show in my life, but hey, it is the chick from Swimf@n and it is not like there is anything else on at the time. But how exactly how long will the show last if the detective was able to figure out who it is in the first episode. Take the reporter to the artist and then post the picture around town.
You can download Wicked City on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: What a great decision to switch tribes up as many times this season, it is much better than having silly gimmicks like Redemption Island (and the promos says there are merging early next week too). You have one tribe with only one original member of the other tribe but she was the one with an Immunity Idol. Then there was Stephan's weird tearful rant about not wanting an Alpha Male beating him again. But of course it was Abi Maria's tribe that went to Tribal Council. And what weird bedfellows that ousted Woooooooooooo. Aside from Abi Maria, you had Chaos Kass, her nemesis Spencer, and a paranoid Ciera who did appreciate Savage putting her name in his mouth. Seriously, has there ever been a weirder alliance than those four? It will be interesting to see how things shake up after the merge. Will that five strong alliance actually stick together (since not one alliance has stayed strong I am guessing no), and if so, they still need two more for a majority. But now that we are at the merge, you have to go ahead and pencil in Abi Maria into the finals because who would not want to sit next to her. Imagine what fireworks a Abi Maria vs. Kass would produce. But thankfully Terry's son turned out to be alright. You never want to see someone go home like that. It is a bit surprising that it does not happen more often. I believe it was only the second time in thirty season.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: When drunk young Wheeler walked out on the terrace, I thought, oh no, he is the one going over the edge, not Juliette. Instead Jeff awkwardly fell over while trying to save her. Poor Juliette, the one guy who could spin this into her favor just splattered on the sidewalk. And poor Layla, her husband turned out to be gay, she gets dropped from one label and put on the back burner of another, and now her boyfriend dies of what will be ruled as an apparent suicide depending on what dunked young Wheeler says.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: There is nothing I hate on television more than the x amount of time earlier place card. Am I really supposed to believe they killed off Lizzy? Never crossed my mind even when they were significantly outnumbered in the Mexican standoff. But I did like that the person who put the hit on her was a teenage girl not like the CIA guy who seemed too obvious or the Congresswoman who was another suspect of mine.
The Blacklist on iTunes.