57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/8/15

Hannibal: So this is how the show is going to extend the Red Dragon book into half a television season where two movies were able to tell the story in about two hours: with copious amounts of flashback. Not that I am against more Abigail Hobbs. Maybe we will learn more about the Verger baby Alana conceived.
You can download Hannibal on iTunes.

Ray Donovan: After two season, I still do not care much about the main characters, but surprisingly the show does a great job recruiting weird and entertaining tertiary characters. Case in point, my favorite part of this episode was Al Swearingen's kid's obsession with a movie with children's cereal recast as action heroes. Awesome. I would watch that. But I fear it would do as well as Pixels did at the box office.

Masters of Sex: So after decades of being married to a homosexual, Margaret Scully has decided to shack up with a polygamist? I guess that makes some sense, if he is too busy having sex with multiple women, there probably is not much time left on the side for men. But my favorite part of the episode was Bill starting to read, and implement, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and shockingly it seemed to work for him. Well until Tessa confronts about leaving a bottle of his aftershave in his mother's bathroom.

The Strain: Like I said, I like when shows get weird and it does not get much weirder than starting an episode with a five minute lucadore movie with no known connection to any of the current cast members. The star would end up running into Gus who is now without his ninja vampires (um, is that all the ancient vampires had working for them?) after getting burned by the old dude. I kind of hope they team up to kill vampires now.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Falling Skies: How exactly can you keep an alien invasion from your kids for three years? So random skitters, no looting humans? None of the kids asking why they have not seen any other human beings in that time?
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Get them together and put some wine in them and the Liars' mothers act just like them except Mrs. Hastings is definitely the Hannah of the bunch. They are even stupidly going down into a dark basement together without their phones. They also commented on how the scholarship guy looks like a Dilarentas which is making me think that he is just one huge big red herring before we learn who Charles is next week. Though the age does not really work, I hoping it turns out to be Hermie the Hermaphrodite. Where has that guy been? Speaking of M.I.A. where is Mona, she does not get an invite to alternaProm and was not at the real one either. It is not like her to miss a party.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Tyrant: I figured last week that Sammy would eventually run into his father but I am a bit surprised it happened this early. Now how long until Jamal realized that the freedom fighter he is helping is his brother. And how long until anyone bothers to tell the daughter her father is still alive or has she been pretty much written off the show?
You can download Tyrant on iTunes.

Mr. Robinson: A couple seasons ago when Casey Cartwright popped up on a cop show I declared her the least believable law enforcement agent ever in the history of television. Her playing a teacher / stripper / house flipper may actually still be a more believable role than her playing a cop. Speaking of not very believable law enforcement agents, how does Meagan Goode still find work? I know she is nice to look out but no one who works as much as she does has less range than her. And her only mode is acting too cool to be there which is really kind of insulting to the audience.
You can download Mr. Robinson on iTunes.

Mr. Robot: When creepy lovechild of American Psycho and Pete Campbell was up on the roof I thought, oh goodness, he is going to toss the chick over the edge. I was almost right, instead he just strangled her to death. And is handy wiping her lips really going to eliminate all the DNA off of her? How about also wiping down her throat too. And while I am no lawyer, I am assuming when you admit to committing a crime against your therapist does not fall into the patient-client privilege Elliot. But like pretty much everything that happens on the show, I am not entirely sure if that scene actually happened or if it just happened inside Elliot's head.
You can download Mr. Robot on iTunes.

Twinning: Of course the week after realizing that one of the twins pairs were (probably) on The Real Cancun they go home. Hurumph.
You can download Twinning on iTunes.

Under the Dome: This show really hates lesbian, both of them - dead. Wasn't the woman cop into ladies too? Come to think about it, the show really likes to kill of women - the lesbians, the hot lady cop, the hot sister, the creepy other sister, the fat chick (three seasons in and I have come to the realization Big Jim is the only name I know). Oh my. Have they even ever killed off one of the main male characters. The only one coming to mind is the token black dude. Jeez, this show really hates minorities. Should we start an over / under until the new black chick gets killed?
You can stream current episodes of Under The Dome for free with Amazon Prime.

Previewing Ray Donovan: Season Three

For seven years fans of Justified were hoping that Raylan Givens would run into his alter ego's nemesis Al Swearengen. Unfortunately all we got instead was a dreadful Michael Rappaport season. We may have never gotten the Deadwood reunion we wanted on Justified but we will be getting one on Ray Donovan with Ian McShane showing up on his favorite prostitute's show. He plays a very powerful (and kind of shady) billionaire in need of Ray's by any means necessary approach when his son is held for ransom. That one favor turns into two and when Ray needs a favor, McShane then completely owns Rays (but it is a really big favor).

I had some big problems with the first season of Ray Donovan. It really epitomized what I considered the post-golden age era television is currently in: the acting is ghe writing is good, but something is just missing, and in this case, the show just was not entertaining. The show did improve in its sophomore outing as it found its humor; the Conner birthday was a highlight of last season. Yeah it did still have some rough spots; Bunchy was still a useless character (well so are the kids, but that was the case even during the Golden Age). The show also would have been better off had they just killed off Micky at the end of the first season instead of Sully. But Wendell Pierce was a great addition as Micky's parole officer.

Unfortunately we may not be see much of Pierce this season as apparently his parole expired in between seasons (he does show up in the third episode) and Micky has moved on to babysitting a five year old girl (seriously). Instead we get a recurring Katie Holmes as McShane's sports agents daughter which disappointingly brings Ray back to his first season self where Ray finds himself bailing athletes out of sticky situations that the lower half of their bodies get them into. And it does not happen early in the run, but it seems safe to assume Ray will forcibly have sex with her at some time and will disturbingly like it.

Much like Ray himself, the show is seriously flawed but is working hard at what he does. It is not clear if the third season is where the show can finally turn a corner but at the very least, it will be nice have l Swearengen back on a channel where he can say his favorite word (which sadly, I doubt will chance, a lot has changed in the decade since Deadwood) but it will be interesting if the writers can figure out a reunion with Trixie. But at the very least the second episode is worth checking out just to hear Terry's (who is absent in the season premiere) cellmate sing his favorite Huey Lewis and the News song.

Ray Donovan airs Sundays at 9:00 on Showtime. You can also download previous seasons of Ray Donovan on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On:8/16/14

Ray Donovan: Kate is not actually going to believe that story? She seems too smart to believe that those three would come together and finally come clean. I have a feeling she is going to dig deeper into Sully's girlfriend before she is done with her story. And it looks like my Cochran is into wife swapping theory is going to be right even though they came just short of confirming that this week.

Masters of Sex: Oh snap, Virginia just completely put Bill in his place multiple times in the span of minutes. Libby could learn a lot from her because she failed miserably putting Coral's boyfriend in his place. And poor pretzel king, first his wife cannot give him a child, and this week we learn she is a lesbian, though unbeknownst to him yet. I wonder if he will ever find out or if Betty can keep her under wrap.

The Strain:Of course the Master vampire dates back to the Nazi. Television shows and movie rewrite that bit of history a little too often to make the bad guys look even more bad. But hey, at least we got some more vampire killing again this week. I am guessing the lead singer is up next. Now the question is when is the exterminator going to join the vampire hunters beause you know that is going to happen eventually.

Switched at Birth: So the big social episode of the episode was chicks wears tuxidos to prom?  Alightly.  I am with the school on this one.  Daphne finally gets her intervention but still gets one more bit of self destruction in before she realized she had gone off the deep end. It looks like rock bottom is going to follow and maybe we will get the Daphne in jail season that I thought might happen when she got caught blackmailing a State Senator.

Murder in the First: Say what you will about the show, but they definitely took a much different path than other season long murder mysteries. When the season began, Eric Blunt was the biggest suspect for both murders which may me think there was no way he did it (I was convince d that the perp would turn out to be Steven Weber in my the bigger star always does it in crime drama theory). But the show never did offer up any real red herrings so Eric Blunt was the only real suspect all season. Like every single mystery series before it, I am not sure it really work, but It was definitely an interesting try.

Under the Dome I did not really think Uncle Sam was dead and was convinced that the hole went somewhere after Barbie fell in, the only question was where it went. Apparently we did not have to wait long, it goes outside. The bigger question is how does Barbie get back in the dome because I am guessing that happens instead of the more obvious Barbie telling everyone jump in the whole because there would be no show if that happened.. Granted maybe that should be the case and end the snow there because it ran its course a long time ago.

Pretty Little Liars: Can they just give Hanna her own show at this point because she is the only interesting part of the show anymore. Or at the very least have someone really kidnap Allison because she is really sucking the life out of the show since she has come back.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/10/14

Ray Donovan: It looks like we may have finally learned Cochran's vice, and, umm... does that mean his "Scrabble" parties are actually swinger's parties?  I really could not tell if the chick he groped was fazed or not.  If not, that lends to my swinger theory.  I also figured that Ray would bed the reporter eventually, just not after one episode.  Interesting that he would intercept her from meeting with Mickey knowing her life would be in danger if she really learned what went down on the docks the night Sully died.

The Last Ship:  Did no one really not think to have the captain disguise his voice or let a female talk on the com just in case the Russians were listening?  I have when I am much smarter that characters that are supposed to be the smartest people in the room.  But then again, just how smart am I for watching a Michael Bay show?

Masters of Sex:  I am glad I did not look up the William Masters biography in between seasons because I was extremely shocked that he ended up punching out his boss and then ended up at a black hospital.  Makes me wonder if his nanny will somehow end up in his study now.  You know Bill wants to know if races react differently to sex.

The Strain:  A couple years ago, it seemed like every show had someone getting eletroshock theraphy, this year it is vampire autopsy.  And this one ended up being grosser than the one on Penny Dreadful.  You would think that after seeing just how long that biting thing was, they would not enter a house where another suspected infected person was without a way to block it.  Well at least the CDC seems to finally be teaming up with the old vampire slayer.  Though my favorite part may be the vampire in the shed (how very Shawn of the Dead) and the wife willing to feed the annoying neighbors to him.
 
Falling Skies:  So Lexi spends all that time in the cocoon and come out virtually unchanged (except appently for her eyes which I would not have noticed had it not been brought up), well at least physically.  She is apparently telekinetic now.

Switched at Birth:  Wow, out of control Daphne went dark this week.  C'mon, you cannot try to make out with Travis on the Ferris Wheel.  I am guessing a mother / daughter trip to AA will be coming sooner than later this season.

Pretty Little Liars:  Well at least drunk Hanna is still entertaining.  Granted she has not gotten into cocaine yet like Daphne.  But the big new is that my lesbian Swimf@n dream may actually be coming to fruition.  Though it is unclear if the new girl likes Emily or like likes her.  But unsurprisingly we did learn she has a sordid past and of course it involves Jenna.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/3/14

Ray Donovan: To show just how more entertaining the second season is from the first, last year when Ray was trying to get Bridget into private and dour and featured Connor attacking someone for a reason that still was not completely explained other than he is turning into a hot head like his father. This time around the douchebag producer was even entertaining on his never-ending quest to have sex with his favorite pornstar. Sure it ended out exactly how I thought it would, with her getting a role in his movie, but it was still entertaining to watch. This is turning into one of the most improved seasons of television ever.

Masters of Sex: Why is it the smaller episodes (or what insiders call bottle episode) always reveal the most? The majority of the episode was just Bill and Virginia in a hotel room, but even role playing we learned so much about the two and how they view each other. This was an early contender for Best Episode of the Year.

The Strain: Finally, after three episodes, we finally got our first vampire kill. Well, maybe, as vampire lore, stake through the heart and decapitation is the only way to kill one; I am not entirely sure if bashes skull in qualifies as decapitation. Certainly at some point it does. But that was not even the big news this week, which was the full frontal male nudity on basic cable. That was not something I needed to see. Maybe I should not have asked what that thud was during his trip to the toilet.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I wonder if they added the weird Daphne / hooligan kiss to make the Toby / British chick kiss less awkward. Seriously, does the kiss a chick to get her to shut up and end a fight ever work in real life? I have only known it to end in a slap and more yelling.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: So Uncle Sam killed the Token Hot Chick because she was one of the hands “holding up the dome,” what? Why start with her, why not off one of the annoying teenagers first, or his psycho nephew? This show is just infuriately dumb.
You can stream Under The Dome on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime users.

Murder in the First: So Eric confessed after the trail that he did kill the stewardess and I am guessing he did not just say that sarcastically just to taunt the detectives. So I guess the final two episodes will be the detectives trying to get him on the murder of his father, whether he actually did that or not. Hopefully it solved and they do not save that trial for next season.
You can download Murder in the First on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Let me preface this kiddies by saying do not drink alcohol, it is bad for you and makes you make bad decisions, with that said, drunk Hannah is becoming the best thing on the show.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Tyrant: When the sheik got sick in the meeting I thought for sure someone poisoned him, be it the defense minister, or even his son or himself just to make Jamal look guilty. But I came away from meeting thinking there is no way he makes it very far, the only question is when and who is responsible. We actually got the answer to both at the end of the episode with Jamal in the bathroom with the toilet bowl. And for the first time, I am interested where the show goes next.
You can download Tyrant on iTunes.

The Bridge: I actually wanted to see Ray and Charlotte’s trip to Alaska. Oh well.
You can download The Bridge on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 7/27/14

Ray Donovan: So the new FBI guy’s big deep dark secret is that he is in a Bob Segar cover band… awesome. I do have a sinking suspicion his wife may have a few bones in her closet that Ray will be able to find. At least Ray had better luck with the parole officer. It is going to be fun seeing him torment Mickey all season.

The Last Ship: Sure you have to go back and kill the drug kinpin, but at least go back to the ship, unload the monkeys, get some reinforcements, and gun power before you go back. Oh wait, this is a Michael Bay production, it is surprisingly that jut one of the soldiers was not able to take down all the drug lord stooges.
You can download The Last Ship on iTunes.

The Strain: It seemed to take the CDC a little too long to discover that all the “corpses” were no longer at the morgue. Did no one notice all those dead bodies up and leave until the CDC showed up? Oh well. At least we got one really creepy gross out scene with the little girl shooting some sort of sucker out of her mouth to kill(?) her dad Alien style.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I would like to preface this by saying drugs are bad, do not do drugs kiddies, but Daphne taking cocaine was the most entertaining scene in the show’s history. And at least Toby is rebounding well with a new neighbor who is shoehorned into the show as his neighbor and new, in the middle of the school year, teacher at Carlton. And you thought Tank being his new roommate was forced.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: So we finally learn who killed the hot chick and it was… Junior’s uncle? Alrighty. The same uncle who made it seem like he did not recognized his former girlfriend who had not aged a day since he may have killed her too. Alrighty again. Wait does this mean we can flash forward twenty-five years and have the token hot chick resurrected?
You can stream Under The Dome on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime users.

Pretty Little Liars: Okay, so who is this new swim team member exactly? Any new character is instantly suspicious but she got extremely fishier this week. Is she going to just turn into a new Shawnna, someone the show can claim is A only to expose a deeper conspiracy later?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Bridge: I have known that drug traffickers have been using humans as mules since Maria Full of Grace, but I was not ready to learn they are now sticking the drugs up horses to get the product shipped without detection.
You can download The Bridge on iTunes.

Previewing Ray Donovan: Season Two

Showtime had a lot riding on Ray Donovan. It was the next drama they launched after Homeland became the premium channel’s first show to challenge HBO’s prestige brand at award shows and year end critics list. To give it an extra boost, Showtime debuted it after the final season of its most successful show Dexter. And that worked as the first season became Showtime’s most watched new show ever.

The problem thought was that of all the people who watched it, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who thought Ray Donovan was great. And it lacked the critical acclaim though it did pick up two acting nominations at the Golden Globes, but those are really considered the drunk Emmy’s where nominations can be bought (you will have to wait until tomorrow to see if it gets nominated got any real Emmy’s, but do not hold your breath; it will certainly will not get any wins.)

Ray Donovan was good on paper, the show was created by the same person who did the critically adored (but little watched) Southland. Titular character was movie star Liev Schreiber while Jon Voight was hungry for a comeback. The cast was filled out by notable character actors Paula Malcomson (Deadwood) and Eddie Marsan(V for Vendetta) with appearances by Elliott Gould, James Woods, and Rosanna Arquette. But at this point it seemed like people were sick of antiheroes like Ray who are more “anti” than “hero.” Certainly no one wanted to relive the Boston area priest abuse scandal that more than one of the Donovan brothers were a part of and Ray’s cases were just extremely clichéd.

Without the Dexter lead-in, Ray Donovan is now tasked with anchoring its own night (this time with the show being followed by the second most watched debut in Showtime history, the vastly superior Masters of Sex which actually showed up on Best of the Year lists, including mine). Bu here I the thing, the second season is dramatically more entertaining than the first and that is because they actually brought in characters finally worth caring about.

First you will meet Hank Azaria (The Simpsons Movie) as the head of the FBI who wants to know just what happened on the docks when Sully Sulivan was killed and instantly has the best lines in the whole show and some extracurricular activities that, although are not the kind Ray can exploit, are extremely entertaining. Next up is Wendall Pierce (Treme) who pops up next week as Mickey’s parole officer and even though his easier to exploit extracurricular activities, Pierce continues to be great in everything he does, even if the material is not great.

Even the where has she been hiding the past decade Vinessa Shaw (Ladybugs) is a better addition than most of the original cast as a Boston Globe reporter who does not believe the FBI’s story of what happened to the West Coast to see how exactly the Donovan family is connected with the death. Not only has the guest stars been upgraded this season, Ray’s cases are more interesting including a singing competition contestant getting shot and a producer that will do anything to have sex with a porn show. The first season of Ray Donovan may not have made any Best Of lists last years, but for those that stick around and watch the second season just may find space for the second season on this year’s list.

Ray Donovan airs Sundays at 9:00 on Showtime.

Best of the Week: 6/21/14

Quote of the Week: Have you seen Dexter? Random scuba divers are finding everything Donnie. (Alison Hendrix, Orphan Black)

Song of the Week: Silver Springs – Fleetwood Mac (Californication)

Big News of the Week: I Hate the 00’s: When I heard VH1 was dusting off their I Love the… series for last decade, I said to my, Um, did they not already do that with I Love the New Millennium?” Apparently they would like us to forget they tried to do that before the decade even ended because we got a name change to I Love the 00’s pronounced the two thousands not like the oo’s as in Cheerios which was its first mistake. Actually the first mistake was the “Love” part because there were few things in pop culture to love about that decade.

So the mini-series was not appointment for me like prerious installments. But I did check in during commercial breaks during other shows I was watching this week. One thing catch the opening to the 2004. The opening of each episode pretty much teases everything that they are going to talk about that episode and 2004 was just laughably bad: White Chicks, Pimp My Ride, Fat Joe, The Swan, Napoleon Dynamite, Howard Dean, George Bush getting reelected. What the frack? Bret Michaels (?) has a segment each year counting down the guiltiest pleasures of the year (oh yeah, Rock of Love); what could have possibly be the guilty pleasures of 2004 if those crap were in the In Love part of the show?

The only things that did not suck about the 2004 episode was a double bill of Rachel McAdams (isn’t time for a Rachel McAdams comeback?) So I had to look at my Greatest of the 00’s list to see what they missed or if 2004 was truly the worst year ever. It turns out 2004 was a really good year boasting the album that topped the Greatest Albums of the 00’s The College Dropout (other music they missed in included Hey Ya!, The Grey Album, American Idiot) and the Greatest Television Show of the 00’s Veronica Mars (also premiering that year were Deadwood, Rescue Me, Lost). Some movies worth mentioning include Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Shaun of the Dead, and the two biggest documentaries up until that point Fahrenheit 9/11 and Super Size Me. In video games two of the most successful games had sequels: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Halo 2. The Olympics happened that year, the first time since the first modern games it was held in Greece. Other firsts at those games included the first loss ever for NBA players at the Olympics, and Michael Phelps winning his first gold medal. He would go on to win the most medals at one Olympics in a non boycotted Game.

But still, I wish instead of the first I Love the 00’s VH1 would have just done a third I Love the 90’s (the 80’s have three installment). Since that looks like it will not be happening anytime soon, there is National Geographic’s The 90’s: The Last Great Decade? premiering in two weeks. It will certainly be better than I Love the 00’s as it will be a Fat Joe free mini-series.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Pilot” Young and Hungry, Wednesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Stolen Dance – Milky Chance (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: x - Ed Sheeran

New DVD Release of the Week: Masters of Sex: Season One

Video of the Week: I had my issues with the first season Ray Donovan but the trailer for the second season has gotten me excited for it again. Sure whoever makes trailers these days have perfected the art and can make anything seem much better than it actually is. We do get a look at some new blood with Hank Azeria as the new FBI agent on the case, Wendell Peirce (who is one of those actors who is great in everything they are in even if what they are in are not great; see The Michael J. Fox Show as the most recent example) as a new parole officer, and Vinnessa Shaw who never quite lived up to the Next Big Thing label from the late nineties (40 Days and 40 Nights ruined a lot of up and coming stars just like her new channel mate Josh Hartnett). Ray Donovan returns Sunday, July 13 at 9:00 on Showtime.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Tyrant, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX: Last year FX essentially declared they were getting into the prestige business targeting the most talented creative minds even if just for a miniseries event. Those first announcements are starting to debut: The Coen Brothers Fargo small screen reboot just ended this week, The Strain, written directed, and produced by Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy) premieres next month. The other big name announced at this time was Ang Lee, coming off his Academy Award for Best Director, who was set to direct the Pilot for Tyrant from the producers of Homeland. Tyrant debuts this week but without Lee’s name on it. Instead he was eventually replayed by David Yates, best known for the last couple Harry Potter movies. And that was just the start of some behind the scenes turmoil surrounding its production (which was detailed at length in the Hollywood Reporter). So I am a bit weary of Tyrant (especially when you also consider Homeland’s last season and a half). But given FX’s track record, I will at least give it a try.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 9/29/13

Ray Donovan: Of course the season ended with Mickey saving Ray’s life. Let me go ahead and predict next season will see the two reluctantly team up against a common foe. Ugg, at least the season is over and Homeland can start next week.

The Voice: It what seems to be my yearly, How to Fix the Voice rants, one of my bigger complaints was the recycling of songs and how they needed to retire a bunch of songs. This season did see the third straight performance of Back to Black and Too Close and a few others that got trotted out for a second try. But overall they include a bunch of new songs to the show including some surprisingly awesome song selections. After the first night I did not think someone would perform a song cooler than Keep Your Hands to Yourself, then the very next night someone broke out the most inspired song selection since Lindsey Pavao flipped a Trey Songz track when some dude sang The Theme to the Jeffersons. Boom. Then you also had a guy perform the lone Blu Cantrell hit, a Lynyrd Skynyrd song not named Sweet Home Alabama, a Jack White song, and surprisingly the very first song on the show by The Killers (not counting the time the band themselves performed). Overall I was happy with the song selection this season, hopefully when the coaches take the reins, their picks are just as inspiring. Of course Cee-Lo’s usually are for better or worse.

But the first week belonged to Holly Henry. A couple weeks ago when she appeared in an ad for this season I wondered if it is too soon to anoint someone after just five seconds. Now that I have heard the full ninety second performance the answer is a resounding yes. I am not the only one who thought this because her version of The Scientist cracked the top 25 on iTunes, only the second time I can recall that happening during the Blind Auditions (and it is more impressive than when Sarah Simmons did last season because Holly has to contend with singles from all the high profile fall releases; can anyone remember any marquee album released in the first quarter of 2013). I will not go into a full detail as to why because I have already written a lengthy write-up on Holly Henry for my upcoming Power Rankings that I will post at the end the Blind Audition. Basically if she does not get far this season, I will have to write another lengthy How to Fix The Voice post. Until then, just watch her performance and enjoy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.


How I Met Your Mother: When the season started off with Wayne Brady singing Islands in the Stream, both the Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton parts, I thought the final season would be a return to form. Unfortunately the rest of the hour, what was way too long, fell back into the usual tropes that has brought down the show in the last couple seasons.
You can stream episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Blacklist: The problem with Pilots is when you see the extended trailers; you have pretty much seen the entire episode. So some of what should have been the best parts of the episode, when James Spader first walks into the FBI and when Elizabeth stabs him neck, were scenes you expected to happen. But there were a few things they saved for actual show. From the trailer, it was easy to guess that Spader would turn out to be Elizabeth’s father but since her parents became a central part of their discussion, that is probably not the case (though I would not take it completely off the table, she could be adopted or Spader had an affair with her mother unbeknownst to her or her “father”). After the discovery in the floorboard, the safer best is the husband could be Spader’s kid. Or maybe the husband is at the top of The Blacklist. How good this show is will be determine how they handle the storyline. Most shows would make you wait a couple episodes, or until the winter break to reveal his intention, but if Elizabeth does not confront her husband in the next episode, that will be a major flaw. I fear he may be in the hospital for the foreseeable future.
You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It become clear pretty early on that it may not have been the best idea to do their casting from the Abercrombie catalogue. Most of the cast just does not know how to deliver a joke. Hurph. Hopefully they learn quickly because the ratings make it look like it will be around for a while. As for the actually show, the big reason of how Agent Coulson is not dead like we saw in The Avengers was that he held his breath for thirty seconds. Alrighty. Okay there is clearly more to this story as Maria Hill says that Coulson can never know what really happened in Tahiti. So is he a reanimated corpse? A robot with Coulson’s memories uploaded? Something completely different?
You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: As a child of the eighties, I like a good retro show from the decade, I will even watch a crappy version. Unfortunately The Goldbergs is much closer to the latter. Hopefully it finds its footing and quick because I want watch for the soundtrack alone.
You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: There are fewer things in my life that I need to see less than Matt Sarasen’s mom having sex with Robocop. I really wish I could un-see that. And though it was teased in the promo, the scene with Jax talking to the formal marshal through the one way mirror was very powerful. But I was shocked that Jax actually gave up Tig. I figured after Pope died, no one would care about that debt anymore. But Tig cannot possibly be dead can he? This is not the kind of show that would have a death off scene. The writers would never pass off a chance to have emotionally painful death scene. And it would seem odd to start off an episode with a death scene. Maybe they will give him some sort of reprieve if Tig does something for them like they did with Clay inside.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: It only took two episodes and the old Colton is back and I am back to hoping he has another appendix left to burst. Either that or he quits as the promo suggest he might after Probst asks him if he wants too. I assuming him sitting on his fiancé’s lap is against the rules and hopefully him doing that s viewed as quitting. Then it would be funny if Colton quits and asks his fiancé to join him and he goes, you know what, I am going to go head and stay and play.
You can stream episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

The Bridge: When they caught Drew Thompson with a couple episodes left on Justified last season, I wonder how they could possibly fill up the rest of the season. But the last couple episodes ended up being the best of the season. So when they caught David Tate last week I thought The Bridge could do the same. Um, no. It is probably not a good sign that my biggest question coming out of this episode was what exactly was on Sonia’s cassette tape?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: I really liked how they broke out the Pythagorean Theorem for the final challenge. Although I am shocked that everyone knew what it was (did they give them the equation on the board, I did not get a good look at the instructions). Granted none of them were smart enough to make an educated guess and instead tried to do the math in the dirt. But as great as the Pythagorean Theorem leg of the final challenge was, the gross food leg was very unnecessary. I really did not need to see people projectile vomit for ten minutes straight.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: The show has always been at its best when they find a way to get Penny and Sheldon together which is happening less and less as the cast expanded. But as the premiere showed, when they do, it is comedy gold. Kaley Cuoco showed up for a quick cameo on The Voice this week because her sister is auditioning later this season, here is hoping Jim Parsons pops up in the friends and family room. And since we already heard one television theme performed this season, maybe the other Cuoco will perform Big Bang Theory Theme.
You can stream episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Crazy Ones: I had two thoughts while watching the premiere: 1) It is too bad Mork ages backwards because an ill conceived Mork and Mindy reboot would have been a better vehicle than this, and 2) Kelly Clarkson needs a much better agent.
You can stream episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Crazy Ones on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 9/22/13

Ray Donovan: My least favorite storyline was Bunchie and his abusive priest, so I really had to check out of this whole week. Wake me up when the next episode starts.

Under the Dome: As the show petered out at the end, at least it finished somewhat strong. We got the plot twist that it is Julia, not Barbie that is the monarch that is about to be crown. We learned that the dead lesbian was not actually a hallucination but an alien(?) taking her form to communicate. Okay we do not learn what they want. And it was disappointing that Big Jim ended the season still breathing after being teased to die a couple episodes ago. And I am never a fan of cliffhangers especially confusing ones like the dome turning white. But I am sure I will still tune in next summer because much like this summer, it is not like there will be much else on.
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: You would think after 95% of these sci-fi leaning post-Lost serial dramas get canceled in its first season, the creators would start writing these show with an actual conclusion for the season and if they are lucky enough to get a second season just go from there. But nope, they all have to end in a cliffhanger, never to be resolved. I actually thought that when the host walked into the apartment, he was going to say, “surprise, this was all fake, everyone who you thought were dead were just acting, c’mon in guys, see: still alive, alright Esther, you come in to and give these guys the split of the money.” And if they managed a second season, it could have been that leaving Siberia is not as easy as the producers thought and there really is something strange going on. But no, he just says, “You’re not supposed to be here.” Fade to black. No explanation of why there were not supposed to be there, where he has been the whole time, what happened to the producer’s camp. Nothing. Hurph.
You can stream recent episodes on Siberia on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: So Tara is ready to file for divorce. It is long overdue for to realize this is just not a healthy environment for her. That probably should have happened around the time her hand got broken in a car door. Or the time he drunk driving mother in law almost killed her kids. I am guessing that going to jail and Jax refusing to leave were the final two straws. Now the question is, will Jax, or Gemma, let Tara leave Charming with both boys?
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

The Bridge: An interesting moral quandary, the snipers were ready to kill Tate, but one he wanted to be killed by Marco, no one would let him pull to the trigger to the point where Sonya shot Marco to keep him from ki8lling Tate. So we will kill people who do not want to die, but will spare the ones who openly try to be killed. So now that Tate is in custody and we still have two episodes left, just how does the ranch tie into everything? Tate did require that the ransom came from the owner so they are tied in somehow. And what about Linder? I completely forgot about him until he showed up in the promos.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.  You can also download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: We saw it just an hour earlier with Gervase on Survivor (see my First Impression of Blood vs. Water here), but I am still shocked that Cara Maria would show up to a competition show that has used water quite frequently and no know how to swim very well. Shockingly she not only managed to move on to the next stage of competition but came in first. But really, it is hard to believe half of the contestants could not finish that puzzle in under an hour. Granted if you are not smart enough to realize the horseshoe would be the easiest to put together right off the bat, it makes a little more sense.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 9/15/13

Ray Donovan: Even though the episode started with somebody digging a grave, I knew Micky would not be the one who would end up in it. I actually assumed it would end up being Sully no matter how ludicrous it would have been having Micky overpowering two dues while tied up. Instead it was his hook up (poor Rosanna Arquette, she deserved a better storyline than that). But there have been some eye rolling plot devises in this show but Sully believing Micky when he told him that Ray and Sean Walker set him up for his girlfriend’s murder is the most head shaking. Grantland may have to update their episode of Breaking Brad based on this past episode.


Under the Dome: First off, why was the show delay by a half an hour? I understand the US Open ran late, but could they just cut one of the repeated sitcoms that aired before it so it would air on time? Would that have been too hard? I doubt anyone would have missed the scheduled repeat of Two and a Half Men especially if its was already starting a half and hour late.

So when Barbie decided to get caught by not getting in the ambulance, I assumed he had some grand plan to clear his name. Nope. Apparently his big elaborate plan was to just hope Julia regains consciousness. How about telling the sheriff that he did not try to kill Julia and to ask Joe and the nurse, both who witnessed him saving her life, to attest to the fact. On the bright side they did kill off a useless character this episode. Granted if they killed off every useless character, there would be no show.
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: The show has come up with some silly reason as to why the cameramen continue to shoot, but they did not even bother to try explaining why the Eskimos let the cameraman keep filming. Thankfully that is the case because I laughed though that whole segment.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Siberia on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Before the episode, I had read an article saying that the administrators at Newton sent home letter to the parents that there would be a school shooting in the episode. I really hate spoilers but I think being prepared was better than the alternative. Granted this way, as soon as I realized the young boy from the opening shots was not a young Jax that he would end up being the school shooter. I did originally thought one of Jax’s kids would end up being a victim but the promo monkeys would have us believe that the only tie in to the main characters is that he used a gun brought into this country by the Sons.

I did remember that Tara was in trouble for the nurse’s death, but I completely forgot that Jax set up Clay for Pope’s murder. I also remembered that Pope set Tig’s daughter on fire in front of him and apparently his erratic behavior is the cause of that, but to me he was acting the same as he always was, downing a dude in urine and dump in the bay and then sit down and sing Otis Redding is something I have always assumed he wold do eventually.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

The Bridge: Being that this show, much like The Killing, is based on a Scandinavian show, I cannot help but wonder how long Sonya will be in the sling because I remember back on The Killing when the dude got beat to an inch of his life, spent a day in intensive care, and was up and about the next episode. That was of course right around the time that show went off the rails. The Bridge was been teetering on the rails for a while now, if Sonya is back to 100% by next episode, it may officially be off. But I do find it funny that the dude from Cougar Town is actually much funnier on this show than on his actual sitcom.
You can download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: After a pretty sedate start to the season, the real Camilla has come out exploding twice in the last three episodes. But I really liked how everyone just stayed out of the kitchen while she and Jemmye ganged up on Diem. It is a shame the last Jungle is not a physical challenge because that would have been much more entertaining than the silly hang upside-down challenge. Speaking of challenges, that last one was a dozy. Having run a mile memorize a long series of colors and run back another mile cannot be as easy as it it sounds and I was shocked that everyone got it in one try. I remember a couple seasons ago on Survivor they did a similar thing and only had to run about a hundred feet and almost everyone got it wrong on the first try.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On 8/31/13

Quote of the Week: What the (expletive deleted) is a Jemmye? (Frank, The Challenge: Rivals II)

Song of the Week: The One That Got Away – The Civil Wars (Ravenswood commercial)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Video Music Awards Hit a New Low: Stephan Colbert set the tone for this year’s VMA’s when he crushed Daft Punk for choosing the award show over his nightly program. I thought this would end up being a big joke as Colbert would end up pulling a Soy Bomb during Daft Punk’s “surprise appearance.” Except Daft Punk did not end up performing, they just presented the Best Female Video. And by present, I mean they just stood there while Pharrell and Niles Rogers did all the talking. It was that kind of night.

As for the things that actually happened, Lady Gaga was predictably over the top and annoying as she opened the show. Except by the second performance, every one forgot about Gaga. The 2013 VMA’s, for better or worse, became The Miley Cyrus Show. And it was the worse. I never thought anyone would ever give a more embarrassingly bad performance than the Britney Spears Gimme More debacle, but Miley somehow managed to do so. But where Britney was out of shape, underprepared, and (probably) on too many mood stabilizers, amazingly, that was actually the performance Miley was trying to give, tongue, nude bikini and all. Unfortunately this is a sight I will never be able to unsee.


Ray Donovan: As I predicted last week, it took Sully the whole episode to get to Los Angeles. It will probably take until the end of the season for him to get into a room with Mickey. It was almost as obvious that Mickey was going to kill Van Miller, it was obvious he wanted his Hollywood career over his freedom. Except I though he was going to bash his head in with a stapler or something when Van, but it turns out Mickey brought a gun with him. But if Van was as paranoid as he portrayed, how does he not search Mickey or at the very least do not turn your back on a known murderer. Poor Van, he was by far the most interesting character on the show.

Under the Dome: Well Raylan Givens’ baby mama did spice things up this week but her mother may have been more interesting. Of course she goes overboard (but is it really that hard to swim a couple hundred meters without the use of your hands? Just flip on your back and dolphin kick your way to shore). But the mini dome saga just muddled things this week, why did it shock the radio chick but did not do anything to the reporter?
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: Well we finally learned what happened to the faux-lesbian. Although she somehow ended up very far away from where the helicopter fell. So did she never get on it? Did she just wander around after the helicopter not pick her up before getting covered in snow? Did the thing(s) with the footprints drag her there? Eh, it does not really matter.
You can stream recent episodes on Siberia on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: The show has been flirting with absurdity throughout most of its run and they may have finally gone full tilt with Erza turning out to be A even though it makes no sense at all. If they continue down this path, the show can reach the time travel season of Lost of absurdity next season. Though I suspect we will quickly learn that Erza is yet just another pawn of the real A much like Toby who was revealed to be a member of The A Team only for us to learn a couple episodes later he just infiltrated The A Team to keep Spencer safe. Yawn.

But as it stands, let me get this EzrA story straight: So EzrA thought he knocked up Allison, then killed her (although I thought Garrett and Jenna actually did that deed when they bashed her skull with a shovel), then when her body disappeared, he moved to her hometown to teach at her high school, hook up with one of her friends (you know, because the last under-aged relationship he had went so well) and then when they finally found her body (which now begs the question, whose body was found under the DiLaurentis’s gazebo?), started taunting her friends because that is when he realized that Allison was not actually dead and he thought harassing them would lead him to the not so dead Allison. What?!?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Bridge: Last week I thought that the guy they captured would end up being the mastermind or he would be another patsy and we probably would not learn who it was until the end of the season. Not only did we learn he was just another patsy, we actually leaned the mastermind used to work with Carlos, and was cozying up next to Mrs. Ruiz. Oh yeah, and Carlos boned his wife right before she died. Should make for an excellent last couple episodes.
You can stream recent episodes on The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: It is easy to get tired of contestants that have been on five too many Challenges (Johnny, Paula), but I will never be out on Camilla no many how many seasons she does as long as she goes H.A.M. on someone at least once per season. And best part about her going into a blind rage this week was she just got done telling Jemmye not to lose her cool over something stupid right before losing her cool over something stupid. I know I have made this suggestion before, but some reality television producer should team Camilla up with another crazy Brazilian hot head, Abi-Marie from Survivor: Philippines where the two just go from town to town and go H.A.M. on unsuspecting Americans.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

"What Happens in Jersey... (Part 2)" Melissa and Joe, Wednesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Hey Grace, Hey Tony – Grace and Tony (NoiseTrade.com)

Deal of the Week: Amzon has an announced sale right now with a couple albums for only $2.99 including Kacey Musgraves, The Killers, Taylor Swift, and Kanye West’s Cruel Summer collection. Get them while you can.


New Album Release of the Week: The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight, The Harder I Fight, The More I Love You - Neko Case

New DVD Release of the Week: Spartacus: War of the Damned - The Complete Third Season [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Best case scenario, Ravenswood will be Angel to Pretty Little Liars’ Buffy, a darker version of the original. Worst case scenario it starts out as convoluted as recently canceled The Lying Game. But I do give points to show for using the great The One That Got Away in its first promo. The two hour crossover event airs October 22. The second hour is being called the “series premiere” but it is unclear if the second episode will air the following week or will not air until Winter when the new season of Pretty Little Liars is set to return. I am guessing the latter because if it starts in October, it will run into ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas unless they do like the last two seasons of The Walking Dead which airs six straight episodes starting in October and finishes the season the following year.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco, 10:00 on Comedy Central: The Comedy Central Roasts were an annual event for me but in recent years they have devolved into a dais of nobodies planted by the network who try to be the most shocking while “roasting” the lowest of the low in pop culture like Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, and David Hasselhoff. This year they actually recruited an actual star this year in James Franco who will be roasted by his friends like Roastmaster Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Andy Sandburg, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Sarah Silverman, and Natasha Leggero instead of unknowns that Comedy Central pulled off their comedy special (the only holdover is Jeff Ross on his eleventh straight roast for the network). Sure there will be plenty of James Franco likes to perform oral sex on dudes and other jokes straight from This Is The End, but I am sure this will be the most entertaining televised roast in awhile.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/25/13

Ray Donovan: This show is moving just too slow. Ray hires James Woods last episode and he just leaves Boston at the end of this episode. The show seems to somehow stretch three episodes of plot across eight episodes so far. And it may even move slower next week which is entitled “Road Trip” so Woods may not even making it to Los Angeles until the end of that episode. Doesn’t Ray have access to a private jet? They really could have done without the lesbian punching because I could care less for that character, she maybe has shown up for a combines five minutes so far this season, so when she gets mad at her faux lesbian love, it is hard to care at all.

Switched at Birth: I have always asserted that Daphne’s bomb was bigger than Cota’s, but I was surprised she actually launched hers in a preemptive strike. I would eb easy to say this will ruin Coto’s career, but Republicans have an uncanny resilience when it comes to sex scandals, Mark Sanford recently got elected after stepping down as governor after being revealed he had a Brazilian mistress. And not only did friend of the family David Vitter not step down after he got caught up in a prostitution ring, he got reelected and is still a Congressmen. Just as shock was that Toby and Nikki called off their wedding after having sex only to get married down at the courthouse without anyone knowing. Did not see that swerve coming.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: Hopefully Winona Hawkins livens thing up inside of the dome because the last couple episodes have been becoming increasingly boring.
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: I live in Ohio so I am used to some weird weather occurrences, but two feet of snow as the first snowfall of the year would not even happen here. And where exactly did the people in the helicopter go? I was waiting for the faux lesbian and the pilot to show up at some point.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Siberia on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Come on, they had Red Coat in the back of the hayride and still were unable to catch her? Something better happen on the summer finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Perception: So is Kate going to be the crazy one in the duo next season with Pierce playing the straight guy? It does seem like Kate entered crazy town this week obsession over the Senator’s son. I do not see how she gets away with killing a dude even if he turns out to be a rapist. I guess Pierce could diagnos her with temporary insanity.
You can download Perception on iTunes.

The Bridge: Initially I was with Sonya in thinking this may not be the guy, but not because he seems to crazy to pull this off but because we are only half way through the season and how do they fill the rest of the season when they have the culprit already in custody? But then again, earlier this year, on this very network I wondered what they would possibly do after we found out who Drew Thompson was a couple episodes before the finale but still turned out its best episodes after that. Plus this always felt like a multiple man job so they could have caught the person making the calls but there are other co-conspirators out there wrecking havoc.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: God bless TJ for holding that dog for the whole challenge for no apparent reason. It made an otherwise boring episode watchable. At least it looks like Mount Camilla will finally erupt for the first time this season next week if the promo monkeys are to be believed.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.